7-26-24 McElroy & Cubelic in the Morning Hour 3: Oregon's & Penn State's Big Ten chances; David Koechner in-studio
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McElroy and Kublik in the morning starts now. Welcome back to McElroy and Kublik in the morning, JOX 94.5. Appreciate all of you being with us here today, 9 a.m. here in Birmingham, Alabama. David Koschner coming up here in 30 minutes of Anchorman fame of...

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I want to continue some of the conversation around Oregon, the Big Ten, and just kind of if this is going to happen, some of history working against Oregon just a little bit with what they're trying to accomplish. You go back to teams that have won the Big Ten in their first season competing in that conference, Greg. Has not happened since Michigan State did it in 1953. Iowa also did it in 1900 and 2000.

In 1896, Wisconsin won the Big Ten in their first year competing as a member of the Big Ten, which also was the first year of the Big Ten. Oh, OK. So Wisconsin didn't really come over from another conference because that was the first year it was an actual conference. This hasn't happened much. Yeah.

And I was really surprised, G-Mac, to see that – and listen, we can say what we want about FPI or some of these analytics. We'll use them as just a point of reference here. But Oregon is your favorite to win the Big Ten. And I don't know how many people out there view it that way, think that that is the probable outcome. I think most people would go with Ohio State.

But how surprising or how realistic would it be for you to see Oregon go out and actually win the Big Ten this year? It just wouldn't be crazy in my eyes. I don't know how you envision it. And part of that has to do with the fact that I think Oregon can win in multiple ways. We've always talked about this in the past. If the starting point is Los Angeles, California...

and you have to get to New York City by car to win a national championship or a conference championship. Oregon can take 10 or 12 different ways. They could go down Route 66. They can go down I-20 and then go north on I-95. They can go up north up Pacific Coast Highway for the scenic route and then across the Dakotas and Montana. There's a bunch of different routes for them to take.

Iowa, for instance, there's only one route for them to take, and that's by playing great defense and forcing a lot of turnovers and creating the short field and winning a lot of low-scoring brawls.

They would just have that one route to take. So I think Oregon, alongside Ohio State, have the most routes that you can take en route to a championship, which is why I would have them as the two favorites right now in the Big Ten, followed closely by Penn State, who I think is going to be better than most people anticipate. And we talked about those advantages for Penn State not being in that division anymore, the schedule freeing up just a little bit.

ESPN, FPI actually has a very friendly opinion of Penn State as well when it comes to making the playoff, giving them a 59% chance to be able to do that, a much bigger chance than Michigan, who they have at 29%.

So Michigan's looking to win their fourth straight Big Ten title. That hasn't happened since 1968-1977, other than what Ohio State did right before Michigan began this run. Do you know when the last time a team not named Michigan or Ohio State won the Big Ten was? I would say Michigan State 2015. Close. Close.

As in the next year. 2016 was the last non-Ohio State Michigan team to win the Big Ten. So it hasn't happened much, Greg. I mean, in recent memory, not a lot of other teams have been able to step up and make this happen. It does look like Oregon is a bit of a new player at the table, and we'll have an opportunity to do that this year, but history tells us that

It's not likely. And more than likely, it's going to be Ohio State or Michigan again. And it would be hard for me to envision a scenario which it's not Ohio State, but I have a hard time getting on board with...

Michigan this year. And if they do, it'd be one of the great coaching jobs in the country this season by Sharon Moore. And because of what they lost and how they put everything in the last year to rally the troops and to replenish some of the positions that were lost to me is really tall order. So I know the defense would be great, but the schedule is not overly favorable either. So I don't know. I don't know how you assess it. Do you think it's going to be those two?

Not those two. I mean, I've made my opinion of Michigan pretty clear. I think that there's going to be some growing pains. I don't think they're going to be a bad football team, but I just don't think they're going to be as capable as what they were a season ago. Now, I think the defense can be dominant.

and I think they're going to be able to lean on that group for a lot of the season, but are there going to be times when they're not just going to be able to go out and maybe play dominant defense and win a game? Probably. I mean, there are a couple of good potential offenses on that schedule that we've talked about, Oregon being one of them. What is the USC offense going to look like? Texas offense can be pretty good. Ohio State's offense should be really good.

I just don't know if you can go out there and say run the ball 32 times in a row and play nasty defense and you're going to get wins in all those games. I just don't kind of see it that way. Now, you get a quarterback who grows up a lot and exceeds expectations, maybe, possible, feasible. But if you're asking me, I think it's Ohio State or Oregon, and I would probably be a heavy lean to win the conference that Ohio State would be the team that gets that done this year. Same page. I think Ohio State has the fewest question marks.

I think they're equipped to handle the gauntlet that is the Big Ten. I think their schedule, even though they go on the road to Oregon, I think their schedule sets up pretty well for them. I don't think it's an unbearable schedule by any stretch of the imagination. So Ohio State's a heavy lean for me in the Big Ten. I do like Oregon. I anticipate some growing pains. Like, I would not be surprised if they lost a game they shouldn't.

I just don't know which one my guess right now, probably on the road at Wisconsin in November, uh, could see him potentially losing to Michigan. Uh, I mean, it's on the road. I mean, it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility. So look at those two games. And I think that those are losable. I don't think I'd pick against him in either. If I knew for certain that I was going to get the best version of Oregon every week, I just don't know if I'm going to get that just yet. So, uh,

It's going to be a great – I think it's going to be a great year in the Big Ten with a lot of interest and with the newcomer being right at the top of the list as far as teams that can win it. All right, so if we were to go back to Penn State, why not Penn State? Why Penn State? Ten and three a year ago, seven and two in the Big Ten. We know division's gone. That's going to help Penn State. 38-25 loss in the Peach Bowl to Ole Miss. Yeah.

We know about the record against AP Top 10 teams, 3-17 for James Franklin. Why can Penn State win the Big Ten this year? And what's the main reason? I think we all know that there are reasons that they can't. But what's the main reason? What's the main thing that will keep Penn State from winning the Big Ten this year? Well, I think their schedule sets up nicely. They host Ohio State, too, which is a pretty big coup. Looking at Penn State, I think the big question mark is the offense.

They've been suspect at wide receiver relative to their counterparts the last few years. The offensive line is not necessarily an overwhelmingly powerful bunch. I think quarterback has talent.

But I think quarterback last year played not to make a mistake. As a result, he didn't throw any picks, but he also didn't manufacture a lot of big plays. They have a great dynamic one-two punch at running back, and I think defensively there shouldn't be much drop-off from where they were a year ago. Yes, they lost a couple guys up front, but I think those guys with how they've adjusted and moving Abdul Carter defensively

up to the defensive end spot at 255 this year. I think he's going to be able to hold down and anchor that spot that is left vacated by Chop Robinson. So I'm just not that concerned about it. I look at the defense, and I think they're every bit as good as they were a year ago. It's now just about whether or not their offense can score enough points to keep up with

the likes of Ohio State, who is likely their biggest challenge on the regular season schedule. Absolutely. All right, 800-239-9569. You want to get in on talking Big Ten national title contenders that we've been discussing, throwing around today.

We'll continue the conversation in the other side. We'll keep the phones open when we come back as well. First, tell our listeners about ABS Systems and what they can do for them. Well, ABS System is always going to put the customer first, and they continue to do.

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Hey, morning, guys. Appreciate what y'all do. I love the show. Just want to put a little quick little theory out there. If you had to put your money on a team entering the conference for the first year, Utah, Texas, Texas or Oregon, which one are y'all going with? And then my other one is who finishes better in their first year in their new conference, Oklahoma or Colorado? I'll hang up a list. All right. Appreciate it, guys. All right. So we were Utah, Texas.

Texas or Oregon. No.

Utah, Texas, Oregon in first year, and then who finishes better, Oklahoma or who? Colorado. Okay. We'll answer those on the other side when we come back next right here on McElroy and Kubelik in the morning. Catch up with all things McElroy and Kubelik in the morning by subscribing to the podcast. Mythically, he's grown. He's almost like a little bit bigger than a player, right? Like the myth of Bo Jackson. Like, rate, and download the show from the Jock Tap or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back in. Michael Roy and Kublik in the morning, 15 minutes away from David Kirshner joining us in studio. Champ Kynes, if you're unaware, will be with us and talk multiple things as he is going to be at the Stardome this weekend. It's going to be a fun conversation. Looking forward to that one. Before we get to our Super Sofa Game of the Week, because we're going to knock that out before David comes in and may hang out with us until the end.

We'll talk to you about our friends at Wayne's. Tried to get outside a little bit yesterday in between rain showers that seem to be off and on all day. But when we did, one thing we didn't have to worry about was mosquitoes because that Mosquito Plus program from Wayne's is going to keep the mosquitoes away from all your outdoor spaces, patios, porches, and obviously your yard.

Now, it's also going to be child-friendly, pet-friendly, so you're not going to have to worry about that. You're not going to have to worry about the mosquitoes, fleas, and ticks either because they carry diseases. You don't want them around your pests or your other people living inside your home. Mosquito Plus safely and effectively eliminates them from your property, and you can get that with Wayne's. And that's not the only thing, GMAC, that Wayne's offers.

Yeah, Wayne's has so many different things they can do for you. The mosquito is amazing, like Cole referenced. The pest is incredible. It puts up a giant perimeter around your home to make sure that everything is away from your home. It can't even get close to it to where it could access it.

It really gives me great peace of mind as a homeowner. You also have the lawn services. I actually called them the other day. They're coming out to take care of it. We've got some mushrooms that have popped up around the house. A lot of the rain that's had in the last few days. They're going to come out and take care of that. Wayne's just has you covered in every possible way. And you have the termite as well. So remember...

They are going to make sure that you are living comfortably around your home. And you get the brand-new seasonal fire ant treatment absolutely free when you sign up with Wayne's Pest Services. 866-WAYNES-1 or visit callwaynes.com and let Wayne's continue to create your happy place. All right, so we bring it to you each and every week. It's our Super Sofa Game of the Weekend. If you only had one game you could watch all weekend, what would it be?

Which one would it be? Brought to you by TD's Fine Furniture in Summerton. Two football fields worth of furniture right there at TD's. Go check them out. And if you can hear us, they'll deliver it to you. So Super Sofa Game of the Weekend, GMAC, which direction are you going? I'm going to go with Rugby Sevens.

Are you familiar with Rugby 7s? I haven't seen the tape. 7-on-7s? It's like rugby, but it is wide open. I'm talking wide open. The U.S. already out yesterday. They had their first game, and it was a nice 33-17 victory over Uruguay.

There's also a ton of action going on today. You've had New Zealand already go this morning. Didn't go so well for them, though, as South Africa took them down 14-7. Rugby 7 is highly entertaining. Highly entertaining activity. Hold on, is this the Olympics? I'm sorry? Is this the Olympics? Yes. Okay, I didn't know. I'm confused.

I'm not our Olympic correspondent here. No one said you need to be, pal. I'm not either. I just know that rugby sevens of the Summer Olympics sports are some of my favorites. It's wide open and it's...

I mean, it's like a track meet. It's like a Big 12 football game back in 2017. What is the sevens difference? There's only seven guys. As opposed to? 11. So it is 7-0-7. Basically, but it's still tackle. Everything is still the same, except there's fewer players on the same size field, and it's wide open, and it's highly entertaining. So I will be taking in some rugby sevens action this weekend in the Olympic Games. There you go. John?

Tomorrow at 1.30 will be the 400-meter freestyle final. Katie Ledecky, who put out a graphic. It's the first day. We're right in the finals. To be fair, the prelims are a couple hours earlier. I do like that Katie Ledecky put, first off, the graphic so we know it's legit. She put when the prelims and when the finals are. She's like, hey, I'll put the prelims, but we all know what time it is. We all know what's happening. Okay. All right.

Got that going for us in the Olympics. Damien, you have a super sofa game of the weekend? Absolutely. USA men's basketball. 10-15 Sunday morning. They take on Serbia. Oh. Yes, sir. Hey, it gets real. It does. USA going for the gold.

As they should. And possibly LeBron James' final Olympics as a player. Possibly. Possibly. More than likely. More than likely. I don't think he's going to be doing it at 43. And that's my Super Sofa.

Game of the Week-end. I'm going to give you Calgary at Ottawa tonight, 6.30, Friday Night Football, CFL Action, live tackle football. You can get it at CFL Plus or TSN if somehow you find a way to get that station. You are such a football guy. I am that, just a football guy. Drew Brown, your leading passer for...

Ottawa, one of the best mullets and mustache of any quarterback that you will ever see. Is he American? I don't remember him in college. I haven't seen the tape on Drew. D.R.U. Brown. Oh, D.R.U.? Oklahoma State, by the way, from Palo Alto, California. 5'11", 191. Makes sense. He's got 1,556 yards, five touchdown passes this year. 115 for 184, so he's...

Having a pretty good year. He's about it. The mullet and the stash are probably better than the passing numbers. Wow. He's just ahead of Shea Patterson of Saskatchewan in the passing yards department. Shea Patterson. Ole Miss legend. He is there. Jake Meyer, your leading passer for Calgary, as those two face off tonight in live CFL action.

Super Sofa Game of the Week. Last I checked. Live tackle football CFL action. Cole's hat didn't say rugby the damn ball. It said run the ball. He's a ball guy. We should know. Okay, first of all, rugby the damn ball. Rugby is hardcore, dude. 8 o'clock tomorrow. USA, Ireland. Get ready. Get ready. Don't be mad. 8 a.m. Are we good? I don't know. We're not bad. I wouldn't say we're good. Like, we got smoked by Australia. Like, we're not. Yeah, we don't dominate. But, like, I don't expect to beat Australia in rugby.

They're pretty legit. So you think we're going to go over there to lose? Maybe go out there just to, you know, say we did it? I feel like Ireland against the U.S. would be a pretty good drink-off after the game. I don't know who would win that one. I think whoever could pound the most pints would have a chance. I don't know about you guys. You think we got a shot? Not at that one, no. No, probably not. Not against Ireland. Probably ride with them on that one.

All right, that's your Super Sofa Game of the Week, brought to you by TD's Fine Furniture, two football fields of inventory right there at TD's. And if you can hear this, they will deliver it to you. TD's Fine Furniture right there in Summerton.

All right, a quick bad box score of the day that's not, like, really bad, but I'll just throw it out there for you. Same with the Olympics. The United States women take out Zambia 3-0 yesterday. Does that qualify? Soccer bad box score? I'm sorry, 3-0. Pardon me.

I'll say yes. That's a lot to a little. Well, it's also Team USA's fifth consecutive shutout. Oh, man. So whatever they're doing defensively, they're doing it right. There we go. And Mallory Swanson, two goals yesterday. She scored 70 seconds apart in her first multi-goal game at a major tournament six overall for the United States women's team. So...

That's your bad box. Solid double hook. Okay. There you go. Have you, by chance, do you have another bad box score by chance? I mean, I can throw one out if you need me to, but, I mean, the Rays knocked off the Blue Jays 13-0 yesterday. That's not good. I feel like that qualifies. Well, here's the thing that's amazing. Have you paid any attention to the surfing venue for Paris? Because surfing is an Olympic sport. You know that, right?

I know it's in Tahiti. Yes. That's all I know. And I don't know, as the crow flies, how far Tahiti is from Paris, but I don't think it's around the corner, for the record. Doesn't matter. What I can't figure out is, how do you get an Olympic Games when you can't even host all the events within striking distance of the actual host city? That's a good question. I guess technically, Tahiti's in French Polynesia,

So it's one of theirs? Correct. That is accurate. It's an outpost? That's why it's there. Yes. So it kind of counts? That is why it's there. But last I checked, in and over by Australia? Yes. It's 9,800 miles away from Paris. I feel like it's more of a – I think it says more about the fact that surfing is an Olympic sport than rice, that Paris can't host it.

I would be all for them finding the closest water park, by the way, and making them do it there. Yes, now that would make some sense. Crank it up to where the waves are a little bigger than the kids can handle and say, good luck, you might run into the wall, but...

I was actually hoping that you were going to say that there's been some shark outbreak and they were going to have to swim around those. No, no, not going there. Tahiti is the farthest of this year's 35 venues for Olympic competition. And it's the farthest Olympic competition to be held outside the host city since 1956.

What I find even funnier about this is that in 1956, Australia, the Olympics were held in Melbourne. But the equestrian events, because of equine quarantine policies in Australia at the time, the equestrian events had to be held in Stockholm, Sweden. Got it. That was our first COVID year right there. Yes, correct. But it was horse COVID, not just regular COVID.

Real COVID would have affected it more drastically. But horse COVID, you can do it in Stockholm. It would have been fine. Opening ceremonies tonight, right? Yes, but how about this? How about this? This is kind of cool. From now? Yeah. A few hours ahead of us. 1230, thereabouts. When can you watch it? 630 tonight. How about this? All the surfers, their Olympic village in Tahiti is a gigantic cruise ship.

Not mad at it. You have a gift shop, a water slide, a tattoo parlor, all this stuff on the cruise ship. Are they sleeping on the cardboard beds that everybody else is mad about? I have not heard anything about that, but they're on a luxurious cruise ship in Tahiti. How bad can life be? They're big mad that they're sleeping on cardboard beds over there. In Paris.

Right. Okay. Was it like Firefest or something? I don't think they were. I think they were recycled material, but they're mad. It's cardboard beds. Oh, my gosh. Did you also see the tower that the Olympics basically built in the middle of the ocean to judge the Tahiti surfing contest?

I did not. You obviously are all in. Oh, dude, I went down this rabbit hole yesterday. I was just amazed to me. This blew my mind. I'm sitting there looking at the events and the schedule of events, and I'm like surfing. I didn't realize that was an Olympic sport. Oh, it's in Tahiti. Oh, there's about 14 other layers to this story that makes me interested. Like I will be taking this in.

So you're saying you want to be our surfing correspondent and go out to Tahiti to cover this? No, I'm not going to be Luganville and take pictures of myself in a barrel. All right? No, I'm not doing that.

I would like, personally, to maybe go to Tahiti, survey it for myself at some point. I'm not sure I'm going to be getting out as far into the ocean as they are. It looks like the waves are breaking miles off the shoreline, so I'm not sure how this is all going to work out, but it does look pretty cool. I'll pull them out there on a jet ski and then let them rip and then go pick them up. Can you surf, Greg? I can surf, but it would not be on waves like this. It'd be

Pretty standard operating procedure, longboarding, which anybody can do. Will they like PJ them back for the medal ceremonies, or will they just have them there in Tahiti? Well, I'm just curious about the opening ceremonies. Like 9,800 miles is not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump. Might need a couple refuels. They're not going to be there. I don't think they're going to make it. Just Skype them in. The tower is pretty sweet, though. The tower is super sweet. Right in the middle of the ocean, I'm in.

I don't know about the middle. It's a little off the coast there. But, yeah. Okay. Here we go. So, opening ceremonies tonight. You guys all told me how cool it was a couple weeks ago. You had to see it. Well, I'm going to an event where it's going to be. I'm supposed to. I'm not really excited about it. You guys have Olympic parties? Yeah. Let's watch people walk into a stadium. I don't think they're walking. I think they're on a boat. And they're floating in a... Even better. In a contaminated river. Contaminated. But, we're going to sing and dance.

It'll be cool. Paris is cool. They'll have something really cool for the opening ceremony. If there's one that you're going to watch, it's probably worth watching. What's been our best opening ceremonies, Greg? Which one would you put at the top? Buy a mile of Beijing.

So hard to beat. Yeah. It was insane. All of the things that they did, you just can't beat it. Nope. And that was 2008. Do you not remember how insane? There had to have been 10,000 people involved in the opening ceremony. They had fireworks? Choreographed dances. Fireworks?

Oh, yeah. That was pretty drone-parked. They had what looked like coordinated drones, too. They had the things where you pull the thing from under your seat and you all have the same flashlight that blinks at the same time. Yeah. It was awesome. Never see that anywhere. We can't get a checkerboard pattern in a stadium, right? That's true. There's always got to be one guy that wears Tennessee orange in the middle of a crimson and cream checkerboard. Always. It never fails. When we come back...

David Kirchner is going to join us live in studio next right here on McElroy and Kubelik in the morning. The capital of the sports talk nation. This is Jocks 94.5 and JocksFM.com. Hurry and. All right, welcome back in. McElroy and Kubelik in the morning. Going to welcome in David Kirchner to the studio now. You know, I know him as Champ Kynes. Is that okay that we introduce him that way? However you come to me is fine.

So we were at SEC Media Days last week, and it was in Dallas. And there was a room that all of the players could go to as they came through SEC Media Days. Of course, Texas coming to the SEC, first time that that's happened. So we'll make a big deal about that. You could design your own cowboy hat. So they let me design my own cowboy hat, and there it is on me right now. And I immediately got everyone comparing me to Champ right out of the gate. How'd that feel? It felt great. Okay, good.

As I described earlier, the only difference would be I don't think I had a crush on my co-host. I sure did. Give it time. Be patient.

But that obviously I think would qualify as my favorite role of yours. And I would just love to know what went through your head the first time that you were either introduced to that or saw that script. Well, I've known Adam McKay since 1990. We were at Second City together. And, of course, I was on Saturday Night Live with Will. So when I read it, it's laugh out loud funny when you're reading it, right? And then when we were rehearsing, we were improvising a lot.

in rehearsal and i remember thinking what are we doing this is a you can't get funnier than this this is the funniest thing i've ever read in my life so what we would do so that's the first thing that went through my head like thank god i got the job because i did have to audition

I just told this story in the news show, but it was between me and three other guys because Adam and Will were smart enough. They didn't have the juice just to cast it themselves. Right. So they had the old Betamax tape. They put that in the player with the producer, and there's me and three other guys, and they didn't say their choice, you know.

And so when my audition came up, the producer goes, well, why not that guy? And they're like, yes. Because you know the psychology of it. They said, we like this guy a lot.

That person probably would automatically just show someone else. There was the photograph right there that they went with at media day. That's two handsome guys right there. For you guys who can't see it at home, it's me in the suit and the cowboy hat next to Champ. So, yeah, it was – I mean, I would imagine that the majority of that – maybe not the majority, but a lot of it, what ended up making the film was probably just you guys acting a fool. Yes. So we improvised every scene. So now here's the way it would happen. We would shoot each scene three times.

So once Adam was satisfied that we've got what we've written, he would say, let's let the squirrel out of the bag, and then we'd start improvising. So when people say, how much is improvised? I don't have an exact fractional number, but I'm going to say probably 50%. But the thing is, you had a guide. Yes, sir. I couldn't even imagine being able... How do you even get through a...

a sequence when it's that absurd and you guys never know where you're going to go and paul's hilarious steve carell you hilarious will ferrell hilarious i mean just a ridiculous group how do you get through it without breaking you're right now see if it's if it's scripted you have an idea like i know what i'm doing but when it's someone's improvising now this is a surprise

So you, now luckily I had that hat. So if you ever see me in that hat, dip my head down. That means I'm about to laugh. So that would save me quite often. It was actually, it was, what is today?

What is it? 26. It's Friday. Friday, July 26th. Wednesday, my son, Sergeant, who is now 18, asked me, because he was watching bloopers or something else. He said, Dad, what is the hardest scene to shoot in Anchorman? And I said it was the lighthouse scene in Anchorman 2 when Will's character is blind and so belligerent that he couldn't... Will's character couldn't tell the difference. He said...

yesterday I bit hard into an ashtray thinking it was a waffle. It's like, a waffle? Does it feel, it's not even warm. How did you know? And then Will was so good, he'd go, I'm going to say it one more time and very loudly, I am blind. It was just,

The most ridiculous scene we ever shot because all of us were laughing so hard it was hard to get through. Well, who is a more ridiculous character to sort of stay in sync with, I guess, or not sort of lose it? Would it be Brick Tamblyn or Michael Scott? Oh, wow. Because both kind of along the same lines of –

somewhat serious in their character, but not for entertainment purposes. I'd say Brick, because Brick's insane, right? Absolutely. And Michael Skep, plus we're not improvising a lot in the office. In TV, you improvise a lot less because you only have 23 and a half minutes. You've got 10 writers that have spent 45 hours on this script. They don't necessarily want you to go, oh, you know what? I know you spent a lot of time on this. I think I have something better just off the top of my head.

Plus, it's a 12-hour date. If everybody's improvising, you're just not going to make your date. Right. Got it. I would imagine that's pretty well. I know, too, for most comedians.

Getting that call to be a part of SNL. Actually, it's funny that you're coming on because I went down a Bill Braske rabbit hole not that long ago. I don't know why that one always just gets me. It's so ridiculous because it reminds me of when I'm hanging out with my boys. The stories get just more aggressive every year. But when you get that call that you're going to be on Saturday Night Live, what kind of goes through your head? Well, the first is you know there's going to be three auditions. Now, I'm not going to be humble.

I'll just tell you this, but it's the truth. When I was 13, Saturday Night Live debuted. And by the end of that first season, I said to myself, and I'm from a very small town in Missouri, okay? And I knew when I was 10 years old that I have to leave this small town. I just can't do it. And then when I was 13, I decided to myself, I'm going to be on Saturday Night Live.

I don't know why. I don't know if it's, you know, a calling or vocation, but whatever. I knew I was going to be on it. Did I tell anybody? No, because you don't tell people in small towns dreams. Why? Because they're like, dream? What are you doing dreaming? There ain't no dreams in this life. Anyway, so I was a poli-sci major, and then I stopped doing that because that's not a very kind business. But anyway, I...

Then I moved to Chicago, and I took my first improv class, and I tell you what, man, I had met my – I had matched my calling. That's where I felt like this is what I was meant to do. So when I got the first audition, in my mind, to be honest, I was like, well, yeah, this was coming. So I had a really good audition. Can I tell you something? I improvised most of that audition. That's crazy. It is crazy. That's crazy. It's the greatest.

So then I got the callback. And, of course, I knew it in my mind. I knew I was going to get the callback. So when that happened, I was in my mind. I'm like, this is mine, right? And then the third meeting is just you go crazy.

They fly you back to New York, and you have a meeting with Lorne Michaels, and it's really weird because you're sitting there going, what's this about? I'm in this meeting. Aren't you going to tell me? So after about 15, 20 minutes, like I would start a conversation, and Lorne would go, we're done talking about that. Now, Lorne's a big baseball guy, and so I talked a little bit of White Sox. I didn't know a lot, you know. Again, we're done talking about that. Like he just ends your conversation.

And then I was talking about that summer, there was a huge heat wave in Chicago. And I was talking about the number of deaths that had just been reported on the news. And again, we're done talking about that now. I'm like, what is going on? And then this guy, Steve, leaned over and says, by the way, you got the job. So the final interview is just to make sure that you're not a weirdo. Because there was one guy that had auditioned who had a British accent.

And he made it all the way to the third callback. And then they found out he's not from Britain. But just had the British accent. Nope. He put it on. So that was a big red flag. Like, what kind of weirdo are you doing this thing? So he must have been doing this since grade school. I don't know who he is. I don't think he made it.

All I know is that he's probably this guy that started doing a British accent in grade school, and it charmed the pants off everybody. So that was his thing, right? Wow. David Kirchner joining us in studio. You're going to be at Stardom this weekend. Stardom, only for stars, by the way. Three stand-up, but then also you've got an office trivia. This is going to be really cool. You're right. Office trivia hosted by the real Todd Packer.

That is going to be on Saturday afternoon. It's a matinee show at 4 o'clock. I say it's the best trivia show in the country, and here's why. So it's hosted by Todd Packer, which if you're an Office fan, they love that. We do three rounds of trivia. The trivia is played on an app on your phone.

And then throughout the thing, I do Packerisms. I play Todd Packer, kind of you. And then, of course, I wear a suit. That's how you know I'm Todd Packer. And then I just become obnoxious. And then I tell stories of my time on The Office. I tell stories about my career. I've met Slash folks. We actually went on vacation once, so I tell that story. And so...

So it's kind of a hybrid show of trivia, stand-up, storytelling. Then I do a Q&A, and then the top two teams at the end of the show get to come up on stage and do a scene with Todd Packer. And that determines the winner of the afternoon. And that's the only show I do a meet-and-greet at, too. So like that, I say it's the best trivia show in the country. I don't think anybody's going to debate that.

I want a sample question, though. I feel like I've watched The Office pretty regularly for the last 20 years. Yes. I think I could probably nail most questions. Do you have a sample question? Try it out. I know, but if I give you a sample question, I'll be giving away... Just give us one of your extras that didn't quite make it. All right. Let this cat out of the bag on this one. Let me think of one that we no longer use in the show.

If Rob was here, who's my opener, who travels with me, he would have one. Gosh darn it. You want to give us one after the break? We'll take a break. Yeah, good idea. We'll take a break. We used to do, and it's no longer in the show. We'll move on from that. Greg, you can tell our listeners about Crocker Moving Services, and then we'll get a sample question on the other side. Yeah, a local company owned by an Iraq War veteran, Eric Crocker. Crocker believes in hiring moves you can trust to complete full background checks and run drug tests on every single employee. These are good guys, and you can trust them in your home. They need your whole home packed in a move.

your company headquarters across the country, or you just want them to come rearrange your living room, these guys got you covered. They also do deliveries for furniture that you purchased and need to get to your home. So call or visit them online today for a free quote. The website is crockermovieservices.com. That's crockermovieservices.com. Support your veterans by choosing Crocker Movie Services for your next move. All right, more with David Kirshner in studio right after this break. Next, I'm McElroy and Kubelik in the morning. Catch up with all things McElroy and Kubelik in the morning by subscribing to the podcast. Mythically, he's grown. He's almost like a little bit bigger than...

A player, right? Like the myth of Bo Jackson. Like, rate, and download the show from the Jock Cup or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, 9.48 a.m. Friday, July 26th, right here on Jock 94.5. David Kirchner hanging out with us for the rest of the show.

Which it's only like nine minutes. You're good. Okay, thank you. You're nervous there. It could have been a couple hours trying to get you in here. I'll ask you an Office Trivia question. It is in this one, so I'm giving you guys a freebie and just to test you. Because you think you know Office Trivia pretty well? I think we have a chance. I don't know if we'll nail it, but I think between John and myself, we've got a shot. Oh, no, I've got to do it. Oh, okay. Jan's boyfriend, Hunter, has a band. Yes. What is the name of his band?

Ooh, I can sing the song from one of the greatest Office episodes ever. We'll take that at least if you want to go for that. Go for it. Well, I just... I wouldn't know the song. I've never seen it. You've never seen that episode? Oh, my gosh. That's an all-timer. Dinner party. I've got five kids. The last show I binged was The Sopranos.

Well, that's a good one. I'm 20 years behind. I would not get this one. I would not know it. John, you know it? He's in deep thought right now. No, I can even see the CD cover from the episode. He's like Jack Handy back there in deep thought. Was there an SNL skit that you feel like sort of pulled you into that more than any other that you watched early on? Oh, when I was a kid? Right, that made you say, I've got to be there. The Bees. Okay. The Bees sketch, which I guess Belushi hated.

He didn't like that? Yeah. Okay. He thought it was stupid. I guess Sprockets was a little behind that. Sprockets was years later. That was your high school years. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. I was hoping it pulled you in. I'm Sprockets. That was the time on Sprockets when we danced. Yes. Yeah, that was. I worked with Mike. I knew Mike Myers from Second City. I met a lot of people.

I'm telling you about... You want the answer? Yes. John's mad he can't get it. John is our resident TV... John, are you looking it up? I was because I didn't think you were going to come back to me. I'll tell you. The Hunted. Yeah. Because his name was Hunter. Yes. Makes sense. The song was that one night. I'm amazed at how you pieced that together. That's really well done.

The song was good. So when will the Office Trivia Show be? 4 p.m. on Saturday. 4 p.m. Saturday. You can get to that. Three other stand-ups. It's the only show I do a meet-and-greet in. Sorry to interrupt you. That's it. No, so if you want to get a photo, you want to do a meet-and-greet, that's the only one you're going to be able to do it at. Saturday at 4 at the Stardome. Three other stand-up performances this weekend at the Stardome. Tickets available. How can folks find you if they want to come check it out? You go to my Instagram, which is David Koechner, K-O-E-C-H-N-E-R. So wait a minute. I've been saying it wrong.

No, you're saying it right because that's how you should say it. I'm from a small town in Missouri. They say it wrong. So I don't correct people. I literally listen to you. I went and watched like seven appearances for you on shows, and they were all Kochner. Every single one. So I told John this morning, I said, I think it's Kochner, man. Your mind is looking at the words, and the phonetic spelling of it should be Kochner.

But I'm from a small town in Missouri, and these dummies didn't know how to pronounce their own German last name. Nowhere in the English language does the O-E make the short E sound, so you're not stupid. All you're doing is proving to everybody that you're smarter than the dumb lie you've been told, which is Keckner.

There's no way it's Cactor. My mother's maiden name is likely L-E-I-C-H-T-L-E. My last name is Kubelik. So I've, oh my, you've been through it. It's been a lot. It's a lot. Folks, just so you know, he closed his eyes when he said it's been a lot. I'm not kidding you. That tells me the pain this young man has carried to this day. As you know, you get to a point where you're like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't have any, I told my children, you can change it to coach. And they go, no. I'm like, Fred.

Trust me. Do whatever you want. Why go to a restaurant and put your name in? Yeah, mine's just, I'll just put in Jeff. Yeah, we don't even try that. I told you that when they had me on set there at SEC Media Days, had to put the hat on. I had to drop a whammy on them there. We're going to have a whammy off. Okay. Now, you can do three whammies in a row. Three in a row. Now we can trade off.

Or whatever. But John and the young man, what's your name? Greg. John and Greg will determine the winner. Is that correct? I'm ready. Do you want to trade off or do you want to do three in a row? No, I say back and forth. Okay. Back and forth, back and forth. You want me to go first to help you out? I do, yeah. I need some motivation. Now, if you want to say Gene Tennis at the plate to give you a nice handle. You ready? Gene Tennis. You ready? I got it. Gene Tennis at the plate and winner!

Whammy! Oh, okay. Went deep there. I'm going to go Joe Capoto at that. Whammy! Whammy! Whammy! Nice. Your second one was better. Both of ours or just mine? Yours. His is steady. We know we're going to get good performance out of him. This is for all the marbles here. We'll do it again. One more. You said three. Sorry about that. Whammy! Oh, you stripped it down. You threw me off a little bit there. Oh, excuse me.

Whammy! You've got to go. I mean, David's got you. He's got the subtle whammy as he just ever so slightly grazes across Veronica. Corning stones. Corning stones. You know, side area. And I actually had to do it. Side area. I actually had to do it. And, you know, this is the middle of the film. I said, are you okay if I? She goes, I don't care. Just do it.

At this point, it doesn't matter. I'm going to hit you in the sack just right after. Don't you worry about it.

I didn't think about the different temperature winds. There you go. I was in a competition. I had to figure out something. I think you took it home. Almost like an actor has range. You did as well as I've heard. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm proud of that. You loaded up. That's nice. The first one, you had some McDonough voice crack in you, but the last two, you really brought it. It was proud of you. Good performance. Take us back to the fight scene. Yes.

There had to be just some amazing back-and-forth ad lib, accidental something or others that took place there. Are you talking about the first one or the second one? The first one. First one we did in one day. I killed a guy with a trident. Yes. That was hilarious. Rick brought a hand grenade. As a viewer, it was like, all right, how many different news crews are coming and who's next? Like Ben Stiller. I mean, it was like one after another. PBS.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Was it four news teams? Yeah. Four that day. I think so. It was 96 degrees shooting downtown L.A. under a bridge, and we shot all of the fight scene in one day. That was amazing. Yes. And I remember even Judd Apatow put this in his book. You're just caught up. You're doing your thing. I've got to throw a man into a windshield.

Right? He's getting, it's a stuntman getting catapulted off this exploding ramp, right? He steps on the ramp and there's an air pressure thing or, you know, tank sends him flying into this windshield. And they said, don't touch him. Said, even if you touch him slightly, you might throw off his trajectory. So I just had to act like I'm doing the move. So that was a bit trepidatious on my part. But I just remember, I do that.

And then I decided that I'm supposed to move on. So then I decided, okay, I'll just pick out a guy like he's next. And then behind me is a man on fire.

It's one of the best scenes of the film. Absolutely. Unbelievable. There's a man on fire walking around. Incredible. Oh, that's the guy. Holy. He gets a bump in pay. David Ketchner, Kirchner, Koechner, they all apply here. He's going to be at the Stardome all weekend. Stardome.com. You can get your tickets there. The Office Trivia Show, 3 p.m. Saturday, correct? Yes, sir. 4 p.m. That's the only

meet and greet, by the way. If you want a chance to meet David, you can do that there. Really appreciate your time. Two segments. That was awesome. Thank you so much. Whammy! Whammy! Whammy! We love your work, obviously. Whammy! Whammy! Whammy! Whammy! This is the best show we've ever done. Right here. This right here. W-J-O-X and Whammy! Whammy! We're back Monday. Three Men Front might be next.

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