Joel McHale: Meet 99% Of Your Heroes
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Thrive Cosmetics, beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash off camera. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S dot com slash off camera for 10% off your first order. I remember meeting Conan for the first time. Does he bring it up? Does he bring it up? Like, remember when you fangirled me? Well, he will sign an email like, your hero, Conan. Yeah.

That's amazing. Somebody got to cue me or do I cue myself? Cue yourself. Okay. Hey there, it's Kelly Ripa again, back with another episode of Let's Talk Off Camera. Joining me as always, Albert and Jan. Albert. Hi.

Jan, hi. Okay. This is exciting. We've gotten a lot of response from our Ask Kelly tab on my Instagram. So I'm going to answer some of your questions at the end of today's show. So let's get to one before we start today and we'll do the rest later. Okay? Does that sound good? Perfect. All right. These are the questions. Come on. These are the questions, not the statements. Okay. It's time for Ask Kelly. Yay.

Okay. This is from Silyana. How did your kids react about you and Mark working together on Live? Like when you told them? You know, they didn't really have much of a reaction. We told them the night before because we didn't trust one of them wouldn't blurb. But, you know, they've seen Mark work there a thousand times in the past, so they didn't really...

It didn't really feel very different to them. They've seen us go off to work together for decades between the soap opera and the sitcom. So for them, it's just like, now we're going to work at the morning show together. It wasn't really a reaction. So you didn't get any more of those like, do not say this. Oh, no, we talk about it. Oh, no, we get that constantly. But it's like, it's in rotation. Like sometimes they want to be talked about. Sometimes they don't want to be talked about.

All of my kids have taken to saying to me off the record because they think I'm at New York times journalist. So they're constantly telling me things off the record and I'm like, okay, off the record. But you know, we know what the boundaries are with our kids and we respect their boundaries, even though I do believe that they, uh,

need to give us a little grace here and there because at least two of them are still on the tit, so to speak. So until they're off the tit, they're fair game as far as I'm concerned. Okay, Albert, what have you been up to? Fill me in.

So our friends, these two guys are having a baby. Okay. And he's been sending me all of these videos of the surrogate and like the baby kicking. And I'm watching this woman and thinking to myself, my God, like how does this woman living with this for nine months hand this child over? Then I remember someone told us that

The requirement now for surrogate agencies is that you have to have at least had two kids before you are a surrogate so that your attachment is less. And so there's my question. Is it A, how do you hand it over? And B, is it really true that on your third, you're more willing to do that? I don't know. I know that I would be a terrible surrogate. You would be the worst surrogate. Because I would be like, I've had a change of heart.

You and the forget it. Yeah. You can have 20 kids and still want the 21st. But I think that there are, you know, I have had many friends who have had their children with surrogates and these women are angels. Period. Period. They should be celebrated. Surrogacy should not be mired in secrecy and shame. They are doing God's work. They are amazing. I think.

Wow.

And I love my kids. You're the best mother I know. I'm obsessed. But it just didn't happen for me that way. So when I think about it, I think I would do that for someone because I think it's such a gift for someone to be able to have a child. I can't imagine my life without them. Do you remember when I was like, I would hire Jan to be – I talked about Jan being my surrogate because I wanted more kids. But Mark sort of like cut me off at a certain point. But I really did want to have more kids. And Jan's like, I –

your surrogate. I really didn't miss a beat when I was pregnant and like I would work out every day. I felt great. Like that's why I would do it too is because I felt great, but I did not feel attached. But I do think that answers the question as to why they want them to at least have two kids because you couldn't have said that prior to having your first. Now you know it. Now I know, but I knew it after the first. Like there's just not, I didn't have that thing. Interesting. You could be a great surrogate. I can't anymore. I don't know. Maybe I could. How old are you? 50. 50.

See, I look at you as a 40-year-old. You're still 40. I still think the both of you could do it. I told you after I had Joaquin, the hospital made me sign a waiver that I would never get pregnant again. But congratulations to your friends because it's just... I mean, they are thrilled. How far away are they? August. August. Ben Owen Met. That's exciting. Wait, Ben Owen,

Benno and Matt. Benno and Matt. I did not know that. Very exciting. Very exciting. Oh, my gosh. Well, let's get to the man of the hour. Not you, Albert. Without further ado, we bring him in to the talk. Go ahead. Okay. Well, he's already practically introduced himself. Today, I'm thrilled to have Joel McHale on the show, for those of you wondering.

You might have gotten your reality TV funny man fix from him and his 12 seasons on the famous pop culture show, The Soup.

Or maybe you're a diehard community fan. Community in the news again. Community is always in the news. Yeah. Let's get into you, Joel. Let's get into this and action. So what are you the most recognized for, would you say? It's an accumulation. Like I did the Tiger King, the follow-up special. Yeah. The literally like-

I did a half hour special like, where are these meth addicts now? People came out of the woodwork for that. I mean, that's recent. But yeah, it's community now. What about the bear? You're so scary in the bear. And then I saw you in, oh gosh, we were watching another movie that you were terrifying in. Assassination Nation. Yeah, yeah. I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad. But you're so good at being bad. And you are...

I can tell you from personal experience, Joel, you are a lover. Like you have a beautiful family. You love your wife. You are a true blue friend. Like you are a good person. That's a lie. I told you to say as part of a condition. Part of the condition of coming on. Yeah. Oh, yes. I'm very lucky that my family loves me and my wife continues to want to be with me even though I spend most of my time out.

out of town. And my kids are like, you ever coming home? I'm like, this is my last job, I think. But I'm about to play a murderer in another movie coming up. So, you know, joy. You're really good at playing twisted, fucked up, deeply evil characters. And, you know,

I only know you as my very funny friend, Joel McHale, who is like super sarcastic, super witty, can like come up with stuff on the fly. Do you prefer the hardcore acting stuff?

I just flew from London and I watched Hereditary and Midsommar. And I was just like, this is a film festival that I can get into. Everyone always like, how come you always play dicks? And I'm like, they don't seem like dicks to me.

Yeah, I like all that stuff. I like playing all those. I like it. The bear got more recognition than almost anything I've been in since. But yeah, I thought I was the hero. The scene that you're in, that very pivotal sort of where it explains this guy's break.

you know, the bear, why he wound up going back home and was really this encounter with you as the head chef based on a real scenario that happened, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I was based on a real chef that exists today. That behavior was...

was modeled after that chef. So, uh, it's kind of amazing when you think like we, we have celebrity chefs on the talk show all the time. Right. And they're so pleasant and they're so like, they just are lovely, lovely people. And then that you watch the show, the bear and you go, Oh,

Gosh. Are they all twisted? And I think, you know, a lot of them have been canceled, obviously. And then the ones that...

You know, like I've been working with Gordon Ramsay and Curtis Stone and they're as lovely as you can get. And Ramsay, as you know, I mean, he's as intense. He's like, I'm holding the elevator for you. Exactly. How kind he is. Like he exists at a level that is like a higher gear that I wish I had. And but super kind. And Curtis Stone, you're just like, Curtis, you're so kind.

Aren't you supposed to be a monster? And he's like, I don't know, mate. And he's so sweet. But I will say this before we get back. Some of the most recognized times is when I've been co-hosting on your show years ago. People would be like, I saw you on Cali. And they're like, you did that obstacle course. And then I'm like,

The wife carrying, oh my God. That was a very popular thing. For those of you who didn't see it. Jan was your producer, by the way. You're welcome. You're welcome. Here's the thing I'll say about Kelly Ripa, everybody. And you know when you go on shows, and you've been on these shows, and I'm not naming names.

And the entire staff looks like... They're traumatized. Yes, they're all... They're just like, hi. Well, you're doing great. How are you? How am I? Why are you asking? I haven't blinked in weeks. And I learned it because, boy, it was years ago I came out. I was like, oh, everybody loves her. Everyone here likes her. She's talking to everybody like they're human beings because I've been on shows where that is not the case.

Now, Ryan Seacrest has been a frequent target of yours. Yes. And I bring this up because I, in the middle of the summer, I was recording my audio book.

And the director directed your audio book. Oh, yeah. And I read your book, but I didn't download the audio, which I now have to do because I'm obsessed. I don't know if you remember this, but you recorded this special scene, a cut scene from the book.

And it's basically a manufactured fake porno of you and Ryan Seacrest where you're in the room and suddenly you realize –

Ryan Seacrest has been there all along. Yeah. And do you remember this? Yeah, yeah. It was the funniest thing I've ever listened to in my life. So make sure you download Thanks for the Money. It is unbearably funny. I was dying laughing. No one got it. I mean, no one bought it. And I thought you were going to say because that producer, that poor. So I am horrifyingly dyslexic. I can't read my own writing.

And my friends who were helping me with the book were making fun of me the whole time, 'cause I would get to two sentences, I'd fuck it up, and then I'd be like,

I can't read. And then they would make fun of me. And, and we went around and around like that. And the, the producer was like, well, you're friends with Stephen Fry. He just, he reads it in one take. And I'd be like, I can't read. It would be, it was my kryptonite. And I, they should just do the book of that. It would be 30 hours long. Do you, are your kids dyslexic? Any of your kids dyslexic?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have a dyslexic son, and Mark and I didn't realize that we were both dyslexic until we took him to be evaluated, and they were like, well, you two are dyslexic. So then everything started making sense, like why the words move around on the teleprompter. Words will just appear that aren't there, but I clearly saw it there a second ago. Oh,

Oh, no, that absolutely. That's why when I would see Ryan do American Idol live with a 40 billion people watching and he would just sail through the words. And I was like, how the fuck?

fuck did he do that but yes i same thing when my older son was diagnosed years ago the woman the woman who doing if she was like oh yeah i was wondering which one it was of you and i'm like you're describing all my symptoms and i was told that i was a slow starter and that's why my grades were so shitty and yeah that's when i was like is that why you went into performing and i was like yes i like performing and it was way better than a fucking spelling bee because i

The words like though, through, and thorough give me a fucking break. Give me a break. But do you think that's why you became an actor? Because all of the books that I read said that it's like dyslexia can be a superpower. It's like these are the critical thinkers. They think outside of the box. They tend to be very creative. They tend to like problem solve in a different way. Do you find that you have that?

Yeah, I mean, they think there's a reason why dyslexia exists, which was they think going way back, we were the scouts that left the tribe to go look at the world because we saw the world differently. This is how I like to believe it. And they also have like this thing where I know they do with bees. It's not the exact correlation, but like some of the bees leave the hive and go,

All the pollen is over there. That's where we need to go, guys. And then they come back and they do that dance. And when you spray those bees with like concentration drugs, they don't leave anymore.

And so I'm like, oh, right. Once finally, it took me like a long time because I always thought it was dumb. And so I always cheated at school. Oh, every class I was cheating in except for history because it was all lectures. And I can remember that. So I also had friends that basically I was two very good, three very good friends that basically told me that I wasn't stupid.

And that they allowed me to tell them my jokes and stuff like that. And then I just kind of went, well, school's a thing that's going to stay in the background and I'm going to do everything else. And then when the when the real job police come by, then I'll finally go go kicking and screaming. But until then, I'm going to run with this ball until I can be a real dick on a chef show.

Did your parents put any sort of guardrails in place? Or did they say, look, you've got until this amount of time before you have to get a real job? No. I booked a national commercial when I was like...

a freshman in college. Oh, wow. I made a bunch of money and more money than I've ever... People don't realize how well commercials, especially then, paid. That's a huge payday for a national commercial. Yeah. No, it was something like $40,000 out of nowhere because they aired it all the time. It was a car commercial. I was just like, I'm rich. Of course, I spent all that money dating my wife and I was in full-on credit card debt

But that they were like, oh, and then like I started, as you know, well, Kelly, you had a lot of success when you were young.

So I guess I was not as young as you, but... No, I mean, I was 18 when I booked my first, it was a Burger King commercial, but it was a test spot. So I made like no money from it, you know? But you did, you got the job. I got the job, which allowed me to go in for all my children. And then I got that job. And I was like, people say this acting is so hard. I've booked my first two auditions and

And then I never booked a single thing ever again until the talk show. But-

I'm big on like, if I'm being paid to work, I'm going to milk it until it's dead. Like I don't, I leave no fruit on the tree. Every lemon is squeezed. Every lime is squeezed. I ingest the skin, the rind. Yeah, I do too. I'm going to put out a book called Termites of Creativity. Just, we turn everything to powder. Everyone always like, when are you going to leave the soup? I'm like, fucking never. Not until they cancel it.

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So, but you met your wife. I want to go back a little bit. You met your wife, Sarah, at college. And people don't... Yes. I don't think people know, but she's a stone cold fox. Easily the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Mark says it. I say it. You should see her naked. It's great. I've seen her in clothes and I'm like, what? Yeah. Well, she would say the same thing about you, Ms. Ripa. She would say it out of kindness and mercy because she's a good person.

She'd always be like, "That Kelly, her fashion, man, fucking A." And I'd be like, "Yes, well, she doesn't say fuck."

Before I was on TV, I was, oh, going back, meaning if you're an actor and you're not booking jobs, you are basically the town fool and you are treated like a second class citizen. Second you get on TV, then you are, they're like royalty. They're like that. I, oh, he's, so I met Sarah before I was ever, I was doing theater in Seattle. I tricked her.

And she dated me and I spent all my money and got her to believe that I was, you know, like this, look at this. And then, so all her family or some of her family, like, but a lot of her family was like...

like, are you sure you want to marry an actor? And then all of a sudden I got on TV and everything changed. And then everybody, yeah. And I was like, and yeah, Sarah was, it really shows poor judgment on her part. You're such a, you're such a lovely, beautiful couple. And you've got these two gorgeous sons who are, how old are they now?

18. No. And 15. No. Yeah, they are so big now. I mean, you know, look at these photos of like, I carried that kid on a backpack a lot. And now they are like...

You know, so much body hair. Do they smell? Do they smell? Like shit. I know there's a lot of parents that listen to and watch Kelly, but boy, I know you might be in a baby jail right now. It is instantaneous how quickly they're like, hey!

Where's my fucking dinner? Say it all the time. When parents have babies and they're so exhausted and they're like, oh my God, I can't wait until he's a teenager so I don't have to worry anymore. And I don't have the heart to tell them that that's like...

Like, oh, that's when it really, the shit hits the fan. I mean, wait, just you wait. You want some anxiety? Hold on to your fucking hat. Yeah. I remember it was just a couple of years ago when I opened my son's door and he goes, what?

And I was like, I just want to know if you want to go and play football. What? No. And then that was three years ago. Oh, just you. It's all ahead of you. It's all ahead of you. You know, but the good news is they do come back.

when they need something. I am just saving all my money because I'm assuming they'll never get jobs. They get jobs. I swear to God. Well, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, maybe my kids will be serial killers.

I think about like parents that have to go through that. I'm like, oh, that's awful. Yeah, that's awful. That'll probably be me. No, it's not going to be you. There's no way. No, they only do it recreationally, the murder. It's not like a full-time job. Yeah, it's not something they just have to do.

But boy, I can't even imagine the grandkids. It's the blink of an eye. It's going to happen. It's just going to happen. Like we just put a bunk room in and I was like, oh, so when our friends come with their kids and Mark goes, no, for our grandkids. And when Mark said that, I was like, you shut the fuck up. You know, I was like, did you say grandkids? But we were married at our son's age.

And we had a kid a year and a half later. You know, like they reach 25 and they become people and then it's like they don't come to you for advice. They don't ask you.

What are you, I'm thinking about settling down with this person. What do you think? You just accept whatever, whatever is handed to you. You have to accept. And I not to transition this. So on the new show, animal control on Fox. Thank you. Animal control on Fox. On Fox Thursday, next day. Um, I'm always like, I see the cast. I'm like, we're all the same age. No, no, no. They're 28 and 29 that you're, you're old enough to be their dad by a mile.

Yeah, but that's just your numeric age. Your biological age, you're much younger. So the biological age of my right knee is like 80? Maybe your right knee, but the rest of you is like you're 22 years old. Tell me about the show Animal Control.

I don't know anything about it. It's where all, it's me and Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke and Nicole Scherzinger, Jenny McCarthy, we tell celebrities that are hiding behind these masks that they're terrible singers. Or...

I was like, oh, that sounds like another show on Fox. Oh, yes. Thank you. No, it's about, you know, it's about pest, not pest. I guess it would be pest control in New York. But they're the people that come to your home and remove animals like a coyote if you're here. They just removed a crocodile, not a crocodile, alligator from Prospect Park in Brooklyn.

Dear God. It was not doing well. I mean, they were like, it's not doing well. And I go, yeah, no shit. It's not supposed to be here experiencing extreme winter. No. And I thought you meant like, yeah, you used to have an apartment on Park Slope, but now...

Lost his job in the circus and now it's kind of in a rougher neighborhood now. So yeah, so that's what it's about. It's about the, and I, when I read it, I was like, oh, this is funny. And the jokes are good, but I thought, oh, the secret weapon will be the animals because you, there's all sorts of comedy to be had by having, you know, big, whatever kind of crazy animal we have. What's the craziest animal? I put a tarantula on my face. The cougar is pretty amazing.

Like a full-grown cougar? It was like a 70-pound, three-month-old cougar. And you could hold it like a kitty. I thought you meant like a 56-year-old cougar and she wanted to date you. Well, yes. But...

Yeah, so I love all that. Every time I'd send a photo to my wife, she'd be like, this is a perfect job for you. And I'd have an anaconda wrapped around me. Are you afraid of snakes? Snakes terrify me. You should get a snake because they're the greatest pets of all time. And I'm not, I mean, rattlesnakes are very dangerous. Stay away from anything poisonous, but...

They eat every two weeks. They don't smell. They're not slimy. They just sit there. They're happy to be draped over yourself. Do you have snakes in your house? No, but I learned how to capture snakes in Calabasas in the 1980s with my cousin, who it used to be. This is what it was like in the 80s, guys, when there was no rules in America where you could go out in the desert, grab snakes, and then sell them to pet stores.

Are you not allowed to do that anymore? I'm very ignorant about snake laws. There's so much shit you shouldn't be. We shouldn't have been doing. But yeah, you can't do that anymore. Because the snake population were going down because there were so many sales. So Mark is texting me.

Yes. Because he's in the other room. He's doing a calendar right now, I'm assuming. No, he's in the other room listening to this. And he says, tell Joel I love how much meat he cooks on Insta, like a lot of meat. Delicious meat. I'm worried about his heart health. Oh.

So he likes it. He wants it. He knows it's delicious because we've eaten with you and we know that you're like a foodie. We know that you know, like the way around a good restaurant. So we know if you're cooking a steak, it's delicious, but he's afraid that you're consuming too much meat.

Oh, well, that could be a problem. But all right, here's my dirty secret. It's all horse meat. No, I don't. I show it a lot. And when I cook it, I take photographs and I video it. But I don't eat beef every day in any way. I'm not like that Salt Bae guy that pretends to eat.

Beef for every meal. See, I told you that's how I – everybody's like, oh, my God, you are cooking constantly on Instagram. And I go, no, I never cook. So when I do, I show it on Instagram. Just because I show – I made donuts one year and everybody was like, my God, you and these donuts. How do you live like this? You're constantly eating donuts. I'm like, I made six donuts. I ate one of them on Instagram. Yeah.

End of story. Right. Well, so I'll tell Mark not to worry. We can do a cooking show called Every Four Months. Every Four Months, yes. It'll just look like we cook all the time. My whole thing is that quality, if it's a quality piece of meat and you cook it with quality ingredients, it's not nearly as bad for you as all the shit you could be eating.

That's that, you sound like that chef you played on The Bear. That's that character talking in you. Only you're not yelling at me. Again, the protagonist. And that guy just batted his jaw. So is, can you tell me anything about Community, the movie? Everybody dies. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Is it in the works? Like Hamlet. Yeah, we're shooting it next summer. You're shooting it next summer. And is the whole gang coming back? Everybody?

Well, Donald's coming back and that's really important. Yeah. Well, the fact that we even got like Donald's going to do it, which was, that was the big, you know, piece, but I think everyone's coming back. I mean, that's it so far. We're pretty good. And I think that will happen. If not, then, you know, Donald will be there. See, it'll just be Donald. It'll just be an episode of Atlanta. Will Chevy chase be in the movie?

That one is, I don't, yeah, I don't think so. There wasn't any issues at all when we were making the show. So, well, technically his character died. So I guess. Oh, he, did he die?

Yeah, he died and, well, he was off the show. And so one of my favorite episodes is when Walton Goggins, the great Walton Goggins, he gave out everything in his will to the...

the community cast and famously he gave everyone a thermos of his semen and uh so that was a real episode that aired at eight o'clock on a thursday yeah and we did we did a reading of that script for charity during the pandemic and the amazing pedro pascal played walton goggins because walton wasn't available so hopefully walton and pedro would come back on but pedro seems to be the most famous person now on the planet so yeah it's amazing right uh and

And he's the nicest man of all time. He's one of those guys when you've met a thousand assholes who are super famous. Right. But when the good guys get that famous, it's like, oh, one of the good ones made it. One of the good ones got their due. That's so exciting. Who's like your least, do you have like a most favorite and a least favorite person to work with? Yeah.

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Do you have like a most favorite and a least favorite person to work with? Besides me, I know I'm your most and least all at the same time. When we worked together, you were, again, it was weird to have no eye contact on camera. So when I hear people say, never meet your heroes, I'm like, meet 99% of your heroes because they're great. It's 1% that are... Yes. That was one of those, like when I met Carrie Fisher...

Later on in life, I was just like, oh, I've always been in love with you. You're my first love. That was a very recent one where I'm like, let's be best friends. And so she was great. She's amazing. You have a thousand stories about Chevy that have come out about community. And he was so funny on camera. But boy, sometimes it could be tough. Yeah, it's tough.

Who is someone that you were nervous because you were such a fan and then you met them and you were like, oh, this is so great. Oh, Cher. Cher. Cher. Cher was big and Cher was great and great to everybody and just like, you know, beautiful and sparkly and all of it, you know. And, you know, at the big stars, like,

They're kind. 99% of the time, they're kind. Yeah, I did a thing with Steve Martin. I was just like, are we going to be like friends? And he's like, well, we can email. And...

I remember meeting Conan for the first time and I'm now friends with Conan and I always remember it was weird how much of a fan I was Conan not anymore but does he bring it up does he bring it up like remember when you fangirled me well he will sign an email like your hero Conan very good that's amazing

Yeah, that was like, you know, when I met Samuel L. Jackson at a hat store and then I just hear the guy behind me go like, "You think you guys are gonna get a sixth season?" I'm like, "Hm." Yeah, right. You're like, "You know me? What?" And you pinch yourself. You pinch your little dyslexic self. Jan can tell you about the time Samuel L. Jackson comes backstage at the Academy Awards

And basically sits down next to me because I'm supposed to interview the celebrities as they win their Academy Awards. Right. And he goes, I'm so bored. Can I sit back here? And we sat. We had like gummy worms and popcorn. And he was like, it's just better back here than out there. And he sat there and watched the Academy Awards with us backstage. And it was the greatest because like he had a commentary on everybody. Yeah.

And it was like his take was fascinating. He had hot takes. Who did he come with? He was with his wife.

And his wife was like in the audience. She's having a great time. The seat filler is amazing. Oh, he told us that like I was because he was complimenting my jewelry and I go, oh, it's borrowed. You know, I borrowed it. And I go, like when your wife borrows the jewelry, she must get like her pick, the creme de la creme because. And he goes, oh, there is no borrowing. If she borrows it, that means I have to buy it for her.

And so we learned that like every piece of jewelry she owns is hers. Like it starts out as a borrow and then she's like, I think this would be nice. And then he buys it. And that's, he has to call Kevin Feige and be like, so. We need another billion dollar movie. Yeah, I need, that shit ain't cheap. Well, thank you for being a part of the podcast. We are at the halfway point. Yeah.

I'm excited for part two. Very excited. Part two coming in a week. Don't forget the community movie is in the works. And don't forget to download or order Joel's book, Thanks for the Money. You really will laugh your ass off. I'm not kidding. And now that I heard that extra porn scene that you shot. Right.

With a young Ryan Seacrest. I will download the audible version so that I can listen to it. Will you tell Ryan? I'm sure he's been scurrying around that room, but no. I always made fun of his height, and he wasn't even that short. Oh, I will tell him that you said that. It will make him feel – you know what? He'll grow two inches just knowing you think that. Then he'll finally be five feet. What? What?

By the way, next time you see Ryan, ask him about the time he clogged Kris Kardashian's toilet. With a shit? With a shit. With poop. Oh. Oh.

But he was too embarrassed and like he had to fish it out. It's like a whole thing. Like you have to talk to him. It's amazing. It's an amazing story. And it really humanizes filthy rich Ryan Seacrest in the filthy rich home of filthy rich Chris Jenner. You're like, Chris, I hate to ask you, but do you have a ladle I could borrow? It's not for anything specific. It's a fascinating story. Tell your lovely husband behind the door.

I will tell him and kiss Sarah, kiss the boys, your whole family. Much love and thank you. We'll see you soon. Okay. Thank you for having me. Thanks, Joel. Bye. I look for, I have fun editing this.

Okay. That was great. Jan, Albert, hit me with some of the Ask Kelly questions today. Wait, Albert, play it again. It's time for Ask Kelly. All right. Now I'm ready. Now I'm ready. Hit me up. So from S. Berger, when will you talk off camera with Madonna? We need that interview. Oh my gosh, we do. We need that interview. When will we talk off camera with Madonna? Madonna. Who?

is Madonna's PR rep now I don't know but maybe we should do a little plea right now a little plea to Madonna dear Madonna you know what we should do we should encrypt our podcast so that if you play it backwards it's me just saying Madonna come on let's talk off camera

All right, next question, Alex. Next question. When dealing with either interviewing or interacting... Wait, who is this from? Oh, Lanier? Yes. Okay. When dealing with interviewing, interacting, et cetera, with difficult people, what is your go-to Zen thought? And afterwards, who is your first phone call to spill the tea with?

Oh, that's easy. My go-to Zen thought is I can't wait until these three minutes are over, you fucking douchebag. Um...

It's very Zen. It is. It is. It's a mantra I know very well. And afterwards, it's not really a phone call. I meet with my producers. Jan, you've been there. Albert, you've been there. Seth, you've been there. We do a little download in my dressing room and then we have a laugh. Yeah.

And then if I do make a phone call to spill the tea, it's usually Andy Cohen because he'll have already watched it, clocked it, and texted me. And I apologize if the phrase douchebag offends you, but I think it's a good phrase and usually applicable. Because if you can't be friendly and fun on our show, you know, it's like our show is set up for people to succeed, not to fail. Yeah.

It's not like we're doing probative shit over there. You know what I mean? Okay. All right. Next question from Dancy Jan. And this is not me. I am not Dancy Jan. But when having sex, do you ever think, oh my God, how much longer? Dancy Jan. Dancy Jan, I believe you are Jan Shillay. You know, I'm not going to say that thought has never crossed my mind, but it...

It doesn't cross my mind as often as it used to, particularly when our kids were young. And I was like, oh my God, I've got to pick Lola up from field hockey. I've got to get the laundry out of the washing machine and into the dryer. How much longer is this going to take? Because, you know, there's a whole world out there happening while we're in, in, uh, what is it called? In flagrante diletto? I always screw up that phrase. Yeah.

All right, Albert, you got the last one. It's an advice one. They want advice. Okay. From TP Callie. My husband isn't a fan of toys in the bedroom. Any tips on how I can get him to change his mind? No, none. I am the wrong one. I am also a woman who is married to a man who believes there should only be one toy in the bedroom and he is connected to that toy and

He was born with that toy, and that's the only toy in our bedroom. No ancillary toys. No, yes. No toys that were purchased. Oh.

No batteries required. No batteries required. I'm sorry. I'm sure they've written books about it. Anybody? Anybody? Any toy users here in the room that they're willing to admit? Albert? No. Not a toy user. No toy users. Yeah. You know, we're from a different generation. You know who would know how to answer this? Madonna, which is why we need her on this podcast.

Madonna, Madonna. Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. Oh, Madonna, please come on Let's Talk Off Camera so you can answer T.P. Calley's question about her husband isn't a fan of toys in the bedroom. By the way, how do we know what kind of toys T.P. Calley is talking about? She could be talking about checkers. I'll write back to her and find out. Yeah, find out what she means specifically. Okay.

Anyway, don't forget we're a new show in a sea of podcasts. So tell your friends, tell your family, anybody who's obsessed with Joel McHale. Let's Talk Off Camera is available every week on Stitcher, the SXM app, and all major listening platforms. Let's talk off camera next week. All right? Yeah. See you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa is a co-production of Melojo Productions and PRX Productions with help from Goat Rodeo. Our theme song is Follow Me from APM Music. From Melojo, our team is Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chalet, Devin Schneider, Michael Halpern, Jacob Small, Roz Therrien, Seth Gronquist, and Julia Desch. Follow

From PRX Productions, our team is Cara Shillen, Genevieve Sponsler, Megan Nadolsky, Edwin Ochoa. Additional sound design by Terrence Bernardo. The executive producer of PRX Productions is Jocelyn Gonzalez. This show is powered by Stitcher. From PRX.

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