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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Welcome back to another episode of Mayfair. As a reminder, you can listen early and ad-free on the Apollo Podcast app. Go to apollopods.com to learn more. Thanks so much to everyone who tuned in to the first episode of Mayfair Watcher Society, The Woman on the Bus. We've had a fantastic reception so far, and I hope you all enjoy the next episodes. We are the Watchers. Observers of the strange paranormal world.
Welcome to the Mayfair Watchers Society.
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to our bi-weekly meeting of the Mayfair Neighborhood Watch Association. I'm your meeting chairperson and police liaison, Ed Majewski. You really need to do that every time? Shh. Sorry. We're doing things a little differently this session. Liz, our minute taker.
Hi everyone. Liz sprained her wrist in a minor hunting accident over the weekend, so while she recovers, we're going to record these sessions rather than taking the standard pen and paper minutes. So, before we begin...
In order to comply with the data collection rules and regs, I'm going to need everyone to state their name and consent to being recorded. Um, we're here, aren't we? Sorry, Clem, I hate red tape as much as the next guy, but we gotta do this thing by the book. It's for posterity. Yeah, can't wait to show my grandkids. We'll go clockwise around the table, starting with me. My
My name is Eddie Majeski, and I consent to being recorded. I'm Elizabeth O'Leary, and I consent to this recording. I'm Clement Hayes, and I consent to being recorded. I'm Simon Forelli, and welcome to Jackass. Come on, man. When did everybody lose their sense of humor? My name is Simon J. Forelli I, and I consent to being recorded. That'll do.
To round off our discussion from last week, Clem, I informed Abby about the pet waste in Abernathy Park. Pet waste? Can't we just say dog shit? We're all adults here. I think poop sounds more professional. How about we move past this and talk about the real shit? My phone tree is lit up about illegal parties all the way down my block. So he can just say shit on the minutes, even if it's not real?
Even when it isn't contextually appropriate. How about we split the difference and just say feces? Okay, Clem? Okay, okay. Simon has raised a good topic to start with.
We've heard reports from a number of block captains about teenagers roaming the streets late at night. Possibly intoxicated. There's no possibly about it. The Snyders on Oak Street found three red Solo cups on their lawn on Wednesday. Those kids are shit-faced. Feces-faced. That doesn't sound better at all. Can we really stop them, though?
I don't want things to turn into martial law around here. And my people don't want their pets, or their kids for that matter, stepping on broken vodka bottles on their own damn lawn. We gotta do whatever it takes. Look, we were all young once. It's not unheard of for teens to get up to some underage drinking indoors. When they've got parental supervision, I'm happy to look the other way.
But after sunset, a gaggle of judgment-impaired kids wandering the streets are gonna wind up getting hurt. Or hurting someone else. Today it's just stumbling down the street, acting a fool. But then, they get behind the wheel of a car. And we've got real problems. I believe this could also be linked to the recent rise in vandalism. May I have the floor, Eddie? Be my guest.
Miss Rawlings, the librarian at Sherman Memorial, told me on Thursday that she's had to power wash one of these so-called graffiti tags off the library for a second time this month. Well, don't hold out on this list. What'd it say? Your standard F the police type stuff? It was, for the record, a highly exaggerated depiction of...
Human genitals. Just... for posterity. Can we get a little more specific? That won't be necessary, Simon. Remember, I have to turn these recordings over to Abby. And? She's your wife, Ed. I went to your Fourth of July cookout. She can crack dirty jokes with the best of us. When she listens back to these meetings, Abby is doing her job.
She's not my wife. She's an officer of the law. The specifics of these exaggerated genitals aside, how can we discourage this kind of rampant creativity in the future? Well, there is that after-school program the rec center was trying to get off the ground. If they can get some volunteers from the local kids to help maintain the area, they'll be a lot less likely to vandalize it. Seems like a sound solution, Liz.
Was that the extent of the damage? Not quite. One of Mason's realty signs. You know, the one near the bus stop? Oh, yeah? Where he's wearing the purple tie? That's the one. He told me the other day that someone scratched the eyes out of his picture. Jesus. Now, why would someone go and do that? Yeah, why wouldn't they go for that eyesore of a tie? Simon! Sorry, sorry. Just
Just trying to lighten the mood. Scratching a picture's eyes out, though. That's some freaky feces. Seems peculiar for sure. We'll keep an eye on it. Oh, nothing. Before we wrap up this week's meeting, I got reports on my phone tree about an unidentified car doing the rounds on Ward Street and Carson Avenue. Folks are worried about potential burglaries, so put the word out to everyone in your networks to stay vigilant.
It's believed to be a dark midsize sedan. We don't want anyone losing their cool, but keep looking. Any further comments? Alrighty. This meeting is adjourned. Hello, everyone. First order of business. Before I forget, it's been two weeks since we brought up the matter of the unidentified car. The last sighting of which, I'm relieved to say, was a full week ago.
Maybe he was just lost. Yeah, I guess he shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. Once again, I'm your chairperson and police liaison, Eddie Majewski. Hey, Abby. It's I. Love the brisket. Elizabeth O'Leary, present. And I'm Clem. As always, why don't we cut to the chase already? We're all thinking about it.
Early in the week, Louise Fletcher's dog, Archie, was attacked and mutilated during the night. Thank goodness the poor thing pulled through. Minus an ear and tail, sure. See, you're in animal control. Do you know anything about this? Uh, well...
When I first heard about it, I figured we were looking at dog-on-dog crime. Not unless there's a dog on Butler Street who can hold scissors. I mean, it could have been any cutting implement, surely? Not what Louise told me when I spoke to her. Of course, she took Archie to the vet when she found him out in the yard, well and covered in blood. I'm not sure all these details are necessary, Clem. Posterity, remember?
No prizes for holding your tongue here. Vet told her it was a perfectly clean cut. If it was a knife, this freak was a sushi chef. Do we have any leads? I know we have some incidents with unruly teens, but this seems beyond the pale. No luck there. Louise told me Archie seemed on edge that night, just barking at empty doorways and windows.
She put him in the yard when he wouldn't calm down and that's when it happened. I'd recommend everyone on that block keep their cats and dogs inside at night. I'm no head shrinker, but the kind of guy who does this probably isn't a one and done type deal. We'll put the word out on our phone trees. Come to think of it, I did receive a call about a suspicious person walking down Collins' Grove Road. I believe it was a man named Collins.
I blew it off at first because it came from Mr. Kraske. Cranky Kraske. Classic. The same Mr. Kraske that told us he found a beached whale in his backyard? Crazy old fart probably sets bear traps for Santa Claus every December. I certainly didn't want to be the one to say any of that on record. But, yes, I do have to admit this is less far-fetched than his usual tall tales.
Though he may have said that the person was floating. Yeah, there it is. For now, let's give our best to the Fletchers, and we'll let Abby and her co-workers take care of the details. On a slightly less upsetting note...
We got a little more vandalism to worry about. Someone broke a fire hydrant on Forrester Avenue. Where are these Key's parents, anyway? It's suburbia, Clem. They're either working, playing squash, or having affairs. I'm a squash man myself. It's all fun and games until someone's house is on fire. Then we'd need that hydrant in full working condition. See,
City Council should be able to send out a repairman by midweek. For now, let's stay vigilant and make sure it doesn't happen again. The budget's stretched enough as is. At this rate, the Thanksgiving Parades is going to be a single turkey and the city treasurer in a pilgrim hat. I'm sure that it'll please nobody to hear that there's been another incident at Charmian Memorial Library. Liz, um, you want to take the lead on this one? Oh, um, yes. Thank you, Clement.
One of the front windows was broken the day before yesterday. A brick was discovered inside the building. Nothing on the inside was taken, so it just seems like more senseless vandalism. Christ, we've already got way too much of that going around. You hear something in the water? Kids do stupid stuff when they're bored. You hear about what happened at the old, um, Hayward textile mill. Oh yeah, didn't one of them end up in the hospital? Hayward?
That place was abandoned when I was a kid. Care to elaborate, Clem? Parateens, I'm not going to name names, but I think everyone here can guess, decided to get their jollies by sneaking in at night. They were recording some YouTube nonsense, but then they thought they saw a ghost, got spooked, and made a run for it.
flora gave out underneath one of em on the way out and the poor dummy broke his leg i suppose that's the best we can hope for in a situation like that my goodness what a week these things have been slow if we're lucky it'll quiet down again over the next few weeks in the meantime you know the drill pass all the necessary info back down the phone trees and keep your eyes peeled for anything untoward
Guess that's about it for today's- Oh, Ed! One more thing. Yassi? So this wasn't a phone tree thing. I caught it on the Mayfair Facebook discussion group last night and thought I should probably bring it up. Why do people never use the official channels? They're here for a reason, darn it!
Aha! Jack Williams posted a couple days ago that his kids were on the playground at Abernathy Park, you know, near that little wooded area, and he saw somebody watching them from the tree line. Did he describe the guy? Not much. Said it was hard to see because it was kind of foggy day, but he said he must have been wearing a hat or something. He was at least six feet tall. That
That's about it. I'll put the word out. See if anyone else has seen this guy. I don't think that'll be necessary, Ed. What? The post is kind of going off. A lot of comments from other members of the group saying they've seen somebody similar down at Abernathy. Those could be troll posts. You can't believe everything you see on the internet these days.
It's a close group. I know most of these people, or at least know of them. Look, I don't want to be conspiratorial and all, but if I don't say this out loud, I have a feeling I'm going to regret it. You can always speak your mind around here, Clem. You think this weird fellow up at Abernathy Park has anything to do with Louise's dog? I don't know. It seems a little too convenient.
Especially after all this business with the sedan a couple weeks back. Yeah, I think you might be onto something there, Clem. Could be that this scumbag is behind it all. Don't think like that, guys. What? I'm personally more comfortable believing that there's one town nutjob than a whole gaggle. This guy's even local, that is. It's not about what makes us uncomfortable. It's about the truth. We're not cops, Simon. Our job's to observe and report.
I think we're all feeling the stress of recent events, and some of us might be seeing patterns where there aren't any. You know what? Let's drop it. I didn't mean to start anything. It's fine, really. We have to be open with each other here for this to work.
I just don't want us tying ourselves into knots over the parts that aren't our job. We'll give it to Abby and the other officers. They'll know what to do. Yeah, seems fair. Sorry for getting a little gung-ho there, folks. We'll tie this up for now and see each other next time. I don't know about you, but I'm personally looking forward to having a boring one. Meeting adjourned. Hey, y'all. It's Trevor Henderson here with an ad break.
If you'd like to get early and ad-free access to the Mayfair Watchers Society, consider supporting us on the Apollo podcast app. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.
Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. And now, back to our show. Firstly, I'd like to thank all you for convening on such short notice.
I know this isn't normally when we hold these meetings, but I think you can all understand, given how the situation has escalated, that an emergency meeting was warranted. I'm your chairperson and police liaison, Eddie Majewski. Elizabeth O'Leary. Clement Hayes. Simon Farrelly. So, where the hell do we start? Well, I got more news from the Facebook group.
I wish it was good, but hey, we can't always get what we want. Details, Simon. I've got another couple concerned parents. Apparently their teenage sons got home in the middle of the night reeking of liquor and scared shitless. Said somebody was following them. Do we have a description on them? Oh yeah. You're not going to like it though. We can be almost sure that the culprit was carrying scissors.
Do we know that for certain? Both kids reported it independently, and seeing as they didn't even bother to omit the fact that they were drinking illegally at a friend's house before it happened, I can't think of any reason they'd be making the rest up. They might not have known what they saw. They were drunk after all. Can we really know it was scissors? They were fucking scissors, Ed. Between this and that thing with the pets, can't you see? Forget the scissors. Whatever the guy was carrying, he could have gotten rid of it by now.
What did they say he looked like? Right. Sorry, Clem. There isn't much else going on. Like Ed said, they were drunk and pretty shook up. The thing they kept repeating was that there was something wrong with his head. Well, of course there'd have to be something wrong with his head if he's chasing kids around in the middle of the night. Not like that, Liz. Seems like the most recent developments in the Abernathy Park situation might have put a notion in the older kids' heads. Think about it.
They're drunk and they know they shouldn't be. So they're already on edge. They see someone walking the same way, 20, 30 feet behind them. They remember the park stories and they start getting nervous on narrative forms. You know what I mean? Yes.
There's still so much we haven't put together about what happened there. Ellie Scott, you know Martin's little girl? She had that close call after school on Monday. If she didn't scream and run at the first sign of trouble, who knows what would have happened. The thing I don't get is how this same suspect seems to be everywhere lately. But nobody can get a clear read on what he looks like. Ellie Scott says he was floating and also said that he, quote,
was like a pop-up book. So maybe we're barking up the wrong tree here. Didn't Krasky say he saw someone floating too? Krasky's deranged. And Ellie's seven years old. We can't lose our minds over this kind of testimony.
People are too scared to be lying, Ed. There's someone out there doing all this. We've got kids seeing things outside their bedrooms at night. We've got scratches on doors and windows. Listen to yourself here, Liz. There's a lot of space between truth and lies. Think about how many people see ghosts every year, or UFOs, or Bigfoot, or Michael Jackson. I'm sure they all believe what they saw. I wouldn't accuse them of lying.
But the mind can play tricks on you. There's been a lot of talk about this scissors guy floating around. I don't want this thing to turn into some big crazy panic.
See, what else we got this week? Four missing pets. All from different blocks, but with clear similarities. Such as? Well, normally, when a pet goes missing, it's for resale. Cats and dogs, especially the purebred stuff, don't come cheap. Gangs can make hay on that, but we're not looking at clean snatches here. All four cases, there's been, uh...
So it's like, what happened to poor Archie? In reverse.
I won't go into the details for all our sakes, but we're looking at butchery here. I take it this isn't a search and rescue situation. No. I thought we told people to keep their pets indoors for a few weeks until we got all this figured out. They were indoors, Ed. What? I was over at the Grayson's to help with the cleanup. The living room rug was soaked straight through. No forced entry by the looks of it, but you can double check with Abby on that.
Look, I don't want to point fingers here, but I think we need to consider every possibility. Are we 100% sure that the Graysons didn't do it? Yeah, sure, the Graysons did it. Just like the Smiths cut up their cat, and the Bucos theirs, and the Kumars too. They all killed their pets for no reason. Now look, we can all stop pretending we don't know what's going on. And what if...
And what exactly is going on Clem? Because I haven't a freaking clue. This has to be a serial killer or some shit. A modern day Jack the Ripper type fella. Isn't hurting animals the first sign? Suppose what you say is true. What the hell does he want with our neighborhood? Clearly this guy is some kind of psycho. Why he's doing it doesn't matter. What matters is how we find this son of a bitch. I... I have something to say. Mind if I take the floor? Go on.
It'd be good to hear a reasonable perspective on this. Recently, I got in contact with Jerry Stewart. The security system guy. Huh. Yes. His people have the whole neighborhood covered, and he gets system reports from all the different setups, including the people who recently lost their pets. Damn it, Liz. That's a job for the police. What did I say about us not being cops? I know, I know. Just let me speak. Please?
Yeah, Ed. Let's hear what she's got to say. Everyone's got to feel comfortable talking, remember? Fine. Go on, Liz. He told me that on the night of the pet... incident, there were no abnormalities. All four families had his premium security package, but whoever got in didn't trip anything. Do we have any footage from the inside?
Christ, I'd hate to be the poor bastard just to watch those tapes. No, there wasn't any footage. He couldn't show me any specifics, without the family's consent, of course, but he told me it was like the footage just... skipped. Fine one second, bloody carpet the next. It doesn't make me feel good to say this, but we ought to look into Jerry. Jerry? The guy hasn't walked in six years.
But his arms still work, don't they? Jesus Christ, Ed! I'm just saying, it's not unprecedented. There was some nutjob in Kansas back in the 80s who did that exact thing. Hmm.
Was he paraplegic too? Let's not fixate on the minor details here. Jerry is our friend. He makes our job a whole lot easier. Why? Are you more comfortable accusing our friends and neighbors than believing this could be a dangerous outsider? Let me guess. Because it's not about what makes us comfortable. It's about the truth. Right, Eddie? I'm not the bad guy here.
I just think it's important to keep an open mind rather than draw a conclusion too quickly. But your ideas still leave one massive loose end. That creeper from Abernathy Park. The same one who followed those kids and tried to snatch Ellie Scott. We don't know those are connected. We know he's a sick fuck. That's good enough for me. I agree with Simon. We'll all be able to sleep a lot better at night when this suspect is apprehended.
How many times do I need to remind you, Liz? This is not our job. Then when is law enforcement going to step in? Because it seems like they haven't prevented shit. I've been speaking to Abby about arranging some nightly patrols on the most high-activity blocks.
Granted, her reach at the precinct isn't unlimited and neither is their budget. We're asking a lot of her, and all of them. Is it too much to ask to keep our pets from getting slashed up? Or our kids getting snatched. My little Jamie won't even get his hair cut because he's afraid of scissors now. How can you say in one breath it's not our job to keep the community safe, but make excuses when your wife's people don't?
We all need to make compromises sometimes. Not on our safety or our children's safety. If we can't protect anything, then why do we even have these meetings? We need to act now, Ed. Word on the phone tree is that people are already arming themselves for the worst. These are our neighbors, and they look to us for leadership. Eddie, come on. You're smarter than this. Everyone, listen.
I've been doing this longer than any of you. And I can tell you this wouldn't be the first time it looked like all hell was about to break loose. But it never did. You know why? Because this is a good neighborhood. Good people live here. And before any one of you says something that makes you forget that, I'm ending this meeting. We're not the ones accusing our neighbors. We'll reconvene in two weeks time as we always do. Meeting adjourned. If anyone would like to admit anything, I'm opening up the floor.
The silent treatment. You were all so talkative last session.
We're worried about you, Eddie. You don't get to be worried about me. Not after what you did. We didn't do shit. And you know it. Look, we don't want to be at each other's throats here. Things are bad enough already, aren't they? All I know is someone in this room stuck a pair of rusty scissors into my front door. And I want to know who did it. Now, we already told you where we were that night. Mason was there with me at the restaurant.
Do you think he was lying too? I was at work. You know I work late on Thursdays. There was no way I could have been at your house when it happened. You could ask someone for a favor. Why would anyone agree to that? You think the whole neighborhood's in on this? I don't know how many people are lying to me, but I smell a rat. Huh. Okay, okay. Let's play your game. Say one of us or someone in league with us did it. What do we gain?
We want to catch this guy, sticking scissors in your door would just muddy the waters. You're all delusional. We're delusional? This boogeyman you've invented isn't real and you can't accept that. So you're trying to make me believe in him too. Everything that's happened has been tragic. But these are isolated goddamn incidents. You're making a monster out of copycats and mass hysteria.
You won't have doubted us after everything we've been through. Fine. But we're not going to let you face this thing alone. Well, you done a damn good job of backing me into a corner. The kids are terrified. Abby isn't home long enough to reassure them. And I can't take any more days off at the pharmacy. We feel your pain, Ed. We all want this to be over.
If you need us to man your front lawn with rifles, we'll do it. I'm not letting a single one of you near my family. Whether you got guns, knives, or Lord forbid, scissors. You can make that call if you want. How about while we're here? We keep it professional and do our jobs. We'll take a leaf out of Ed's book and leave the police to figure out this door situation. Okay? Eddie? I hear you, Simon. Any updates from the Facebook group?
Well, it's kind of a shit show on there. We've got people taking blurry pictures and sharing crackpot theories into arguments. Lots and lots of arguments. This is exactly why they should send the information to us first. We've got their best interests at heart. What is there to argue about?
Finger-pointing, mostly. Seems like Mr. Scissors has brought up all the bad blood. Stupid petty grudges are turning into accusations. People are losing their heads. You know, Facebook shit. I saw Goody Proctor with scissors in Abernathy Park. Who's she? Never mind. Ah!
I heard Martin Scott beat the crap out of Steve Campbell on Wednesday. Why? Uh, thought he was the one who tried to snatch Ellie a couple weeks back. Said he saw him hanging around the block, looking shifty. Do you think he did it? I... I think Martin just needed to hit something. And Steve's a lot easier than who's ever really behind all this. Let's not beat around the bush. Are we even sure this is a person anymore?
I'm getting the sense I maybe shouldn't have said that. Well, you did. So you should tell us what you really mean. There's a video. Might be the closest thing we have to proof. I only got a few seconds in. I feel like an asshole admitting this, but I didn't want to watch it alone. Alright then, Si. Show us. Here goes. Where is this?
Some kid said he heard weird noises in his house a couple days ago, so he whipped out his phone. He can't see much, but listen. Hello? Anyone there? Shit, shit, shit. What's that in the doorway? Shh. Shh. Shh.
We can't know if that's real. It might be computer generated or maybe cut out of paper. The thing in the door doesn't look like it's really there.
You kidding me, Liz? That was a real scream. If this is fake, this kid needs an Emmy. And sound effects are seamless. Takes time and expertise. You really think a kid from Mayfair could fake this? What if it's some rich punk trying to stir up trouble in our neighborhood for kicks? The media loves sensations like this. Remember all that clown nonsense back in 2016? I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks now.
Every day there's something new to worry about. My family's in real danger, aren't they? Could... could Abby get some guys posted outside your door maybe?
My offer from earlier still stands, man. There's a .22 and a shoebox in my closet. Ditto. I'll grab my shotgun and prop up a lawn chair on your porch, if it'd give you some peace of mind. Not like I'm doing anything else with my life right now. I think it might be too late. That sound, that scraping noise in the video, I've been hearing that for a few nights now. Thought it was just the wind on an old curtain rod or maybe the washing machine.
But now I'm not so sure. Do you believe us now? Would it make you happy if I said yes? It doesn't matter. Whatever you need, that comes first. Maybe you should take a trip out of town. Take Abby and the kids with you. We can hold down the fort in the meantime. I can't just leave. Especially when it's gotten this bad. We swore an oath. Fuck the oath.
This nutcase stuck scissors in your front door. Get the hell out of here, man. I'm not backing down. Not now. Whoever this is thinks he has me running scared, but I'm not going anywhere. I'll have Abby post some lookouts at the door. She has her sidearm, and I bought a revolver yesterday. One way or another, this will be the end of it. You know, you're scaring me, Ed. I saw guys get like this in my service days, when they thought they had nothing to lose.
You don't just come back from there. Look around for a second, Clement. We're not the community we used to be. It's all gone to shit. If this is my last stand, I'm sure as hell making it count. This isn't the Wild West, and you're not the Sheriff of Mayfair. Bad things are gonna happen whether or not you're here. And I think I speak for everyone when I say we'd rather you stay safe. Two weeks from today, we will meet in this place as we always have, and things will be back to normal.
I promise you that. Meeting adjourned. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the meeting of the Mayfair Neighborhood Watch Association. I know it's been longer than usual since our last meeting, but given recent events, you can understand why our regular operations were disrupted.
As per protocol, let us all state our names and our consent to this recording. I'll begin. I'm Elizabeth O'Leary, and I consent to this recording. Uh, I'm Clement Hayes, and I consent to this recording. I'm Simon Forelli, and I consent to this recording. So, what happened this week? Simon. You. Four. Listening. Neighbor. Mayfair Watcher Society is based on the works of Trevor Henderson.
This episode's Scissors was written by Henry Galley and Gus Zagarella. Ed was played by John Grills. C was played by Russ Moore. Liz was played by Crystal Lewis. Clem was played by Gary Scales. And Teen was played by Madeline Moore. Pacific S. Obadiah was the dialogue editor. Travis McMaster was the sound designer. Music by Matt Royberger. Pacific S. Obadiah is the showrunner. Trevor Henderson is the creative director. And it was produced by Tom Owen and Brad Miska. A Bloody FM Show.
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