The Woman on the Bus
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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Welcome to Mayfair. My name is Trevor Henderson, and I was a creative director on the show.

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Unseeing.

Welcome to the Mayfair Watchers Society. Hey, Val. What's up? Everything okay? Oh yeah, I'm good. I'm all good. I'm not interrupting anything, am I? No, no. You're fine, dude. You're totally fine. I just wasn't expecting a call from you at 10pm is all. Sorry, I don't want to keep you up. It's just been one of those days. Steven kept me on late for the...

Second day in a row. Ugh, that guy's such a turd. Right? And today has felt like a million years long. I just want to go home, eat a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's, and pass out for 16 hours. Sounds like a solid plan to me. What's stopping you? I was about to catch my regular bus home, but it turns out they've moved my bus stop.

I'm batting a thousand tonight. What? How do you move a bus stop? My regular stop's undergoing repairs or something. There's a sign for a temporary stop a few blocks over. It's just further downtown than I normally like going this late at night. Whereabouts are you? Just walking down Crescent Street. Oh, dude, that's like a 15-minute drive from my place. I can come pick you up if you like.

No need. Seriously, man. I'm on my third Sopranos rewatch. It'd be no trouble at all. Honestly, I need an excuse to peel my ass off the couch right now. It's all good, dude. I'm almost at the temporary stop. I just wanted somebody to talk to in the meantime. Okay. That's a service I'm also happy to provide.

Thanks, man. You know me. My mind has a tendency to, uh, run away from itself without a good distraction. Oh, yeah. Like the time you saw that weird black van parked outside your house. No, come on. But you stayed up in your living room all night. Dude, please. Watching the John Wick trilogy and holding a kitchen knife. We agreed to not talk about that again, but yes. I know you too well, Valerie.

And you never let me forget it. It's not just that, though.

I had this weird dream last night, and it left me a little on edge. Would talking about it help? I don't know, maybe? Either that or I'll just freak myself out more. Okay, let's roll the dice then. What'd you dream about? So, this is gonna sound really dumb, but I feel like all my dreams are about public transport these days. Buses, mostly. Sometimes trains if I'm lucky.

Probably says something about how boring my life is now. And this bad dream from last night... It was a bus dream? Yeah... That doesn't sound so bad. Just chillin' on the dream bus, watching the psychosphere go by outside... Did you bring incorrect fare or something? No, but in the bus dream I'm always late. It's weird 'cause they say you can't read a clock in a dream, right? But somehow... I just know I'm running way behind.

And the driver? He's taking his sweet time, of course. Not that I can actually see him through the glass. It's all frosted over and he can't hear me. And it's like, even if he stops and I got out, what am I going to do then? Run 15 blocks to work?

I'm just along for the ride. Sounds stressful, sure. But not the kind of thing that'd fuck you up for the rest of the day. No offense. Some are better, some are worse. The worst ones are where I'm just on the bus. I don't know where I got on or where I'll get off. It's always dark out so it's not like I can even recognize the streets outside. Like eternal midnight, I'm just nowhere. Are you alone on the bus? Normally. It wasn't last night though.

That's what was different about it. There was someone in the back seats where the lights don't always work. What did they look like? Were they scary? You don't get it. I didn't look back. I never even saw them. I think it was a woman, maybe. I get that sense. It's just like the clock. I knew she was there, just like I knew that if I looked back, something terrible would happen. I felt her eyes on me. Like the heat when you open up the oven door. Well, how did the dream end? I can't remember.

It was like I blinked and then I was at work. It was weird. I don't even remember riding the bus this morning. Fun. You ever have that weird anxiety that because you can't really remember waking up, you just sort of... didn't? What do you mean? Like maybe you think your life goes on, maybe even for years, but then suddenly you just wake up and it was all a dream? Well, I think I might start having that weird anxiety now.

Anyway, it's just nice to hear a familiar voice after 12 hours of customer service bullshit. If I keep moving, it won't be too bad, and it'll be warmer on the bus. Those things are always heated. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

Oh yeah? With who? *Sigh*

Holy shit, no way! Lou, that's amazing! That's an American institution right there! Uh... Everything okay?

It's fine. Probably just some drunk guy. On a Tuesday? It's the shitty part of town, what do you expect? There's always somebody drunk out here. Mayfair's going to the fucking dogs. Besides, sounds like he's far away. Not my problem. Well, how close are you to the temporary bus stop? Not sure. I don't normally walk this way. And you're sure you're heading in the right direction? Don't say that to me, you're gonna freak me out. Sorry, sorry. I'm sure it's gonna be fine.

Kind of just a lot of big anonymous office buildings. The streetlights are positioned pretty far apart too. I'm on 40% charge. I don't want to blow it in case I really need it. Yeah, and right now I really need that. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm just gonna keep walking.

Lou? You still there? Yeah, I'm still here. I was just... Just what? Just... listening. Listen... Val... Are you sure you're the only one on that street? Yeah, as far as I can see. Do you know something I don't? Are you... totally... completely sure? Well, a little less sure now, but pretty sure. Okay, okay. It's stupid. Thought I heard something...

Shit, you think it's airborne now? And if it was a disease, I'd be dead already. Hey, you're meant to be keeping me calm!

You called me on short notice. You can't expect any miracles, dude. I'm not asking for miracles, just for you to not actively start freaking me out while I'm all alone out here. Okay. That I can manage, I think. Great. I'll take it. And you're absolutely, positively sure you don't want me to pick you up? The offer is eternally open.

I'm good, I swear. Man, you don't want to just call an Uber or something? The app's been real fucky on my phone lately. Of course it has. Well, what happened? Temporary bus stop. I found it. Oh, hallelujah. Praise the Lord. I knew my sense of direction wasn't that bad. This, this is vindicating. Do they have any additional info posted there? Apparently the bus has come around every 20 minutes. Hey, that's not too bad.

We can kill 20 minutes, no problem. 20 feels like 40 in this weather, but I'll survive. Worst comes to worst, you can gut a fellow commuter and hide in their innards for warmth. Aw dang, I left my gutting knife at home. Brookie, move kid. I never leave home without mine. Shit, I wish there was at least somewhere to sit. I hear they've been ripping benches out all over the city. It's part of the Mayfair Council's wider initiative to screw over the local homeless population. Val?

Just a second. I think I can see someone else here. There's someone standing here maybe 40 feet away? Just standing in the middle of the street. Can't say they're too far away from a streetlight, but they're tall. Lou, come pick me up. I think they just moved. Come quick, please.

Oh shit, the bus is here. I'm just gonna get on. Stay on the line. No time. I'm on, I'm on. Thank God. I'm sitting on the bus now. There's nobody else on here.

I'm just keeping my eye on the door. Why? I'm worried the person I saw outside is gonna get on. And you're sure you actually saw someone out there? What do you mean? Well, it's like you said yourself. Your mind, it's got a tendency to... You know. And that dream you had? Your brain might be exaggerating things, is all I'm saying. I'm sure I saw someone out there. Can you see them out the window? It's too dark. Has the bus started driving yet? No, it's just idling. Why?

I don't fucking know why, Lou. Maybe he's just waiting for more passengers. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm just stressed. It's been such a long day, man. I get it, man. I get it. But hey, you get Wednesdays off, right? Yeah. Great. When you get home, you can sleep it off. And sleep in tomorrow. Won't that be nice?

Yeah, you're right. All we need to worry about right now is getting you home, right? Yeah. Hey, how about... We have liftoff. Thank Christ. I was running out of ways to waste time. Should hopefully only be like a 15 minute drive, then I'm home free. Did you catch the bus number? No, like I told you there's no time. I just wanted to get on and get the hell off of that street. Oh shit. Thought maybe I could track the route online.

It looked like an older model anyway. It's probably all analog. What do you mean, an older model? It looked like kind of an older bus than the ones I'm used to? I don't know, I'm not an expert. Huh. That's a little odd. It still accepted my bus pass just fine. I figure maybe it's just 'cause they moved the stop. Another company might be picking up the slack on this line. If you say so. I'm still a babe in the woods when it comes to buses. Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?

I'm a little worried I'll, uh, sound like a dick. Ask away. I'm down to talk about anything right now. Why did you never get a car? Not that everyone needs one. It's just... I flunked driving school. Didn't I tell you that? Oh, but you know you can retake those tests as many times as you want. I know, I know. It's just... It's too much responsibility. What do you mean? I don't trust my dumb ass to control two tons of metal at high speeds.

One false move and I'm one with the dashboard and ten innocent bystanders are road pizza. No thank you. It scares the shit out of me. But you don't take rides? I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of people. Being too scared to drive makes me feel shitty enough already I don't want to be a mooch, too. You're not mooching when I offer. I'm mooching when I accept. You're a real headcase, Val. I won't deny it. You see anything you recognize outside?

I can't really tell. It's dark out. Not many street lights. Shit. Shit? I just noticed my phone's at 22%. Shit. You think it might be enough to last the rest of the way back? I don't know how long that is. I think the bus is taking a different route back. I think I really fucked up here. No, no. It's gonna be okay. Maybe request a stop. And when the bus stops, you can ask the driver for advice.

You've got money, right? Yes, yeah, good idea. One sec. Great. Now, just stay put. What if I'm all the way across town? Easy. I'll come pick you up. And I won't take no on this one. I'm so stupid. I should have taken you up on it in the first place. Hey, hey, don't worry about it, okay? Beating yourself up isn't going to help you get home tonight. Okay, it's slowing down. Good.

Okay, sounds good to me. We can do this thing. It's her. Dude, what the hell happened?

Are you still on the bus? Lou? Lou, she just got on. What? The woman from my fucking dream, it's her. She just got on and walked over to the back seat. Well, listen to me. I know you're freaked out right now, but that was just a dream, okay? It's her. It's her. It's her. I thought her. I just know she's too tall. Okay, okay. What makes you think it's her? You didn't even see her in the dream.

Listen Val, I don't want to invalidate your experience right now, but you're just not thinking straight. Take a second to breathe, okay? Just breathe. In... Out... There. That's good. Just keep breathing and focus on my voice. You don't need to reply to me yet. Here's what you're gonna do. First, you're gonna stay as calm as you can because panicking won't help you right now. Second,

You're gonna request a stop again. Get out next time and I'll come pick you up. It's all gonna be fine. I promise. You okay, Val? It's gonna stop soon, right? It's a big loop. Risk comes to worst, it'll just drop me off where I got on, right? It's gonna be okay. That's what I like to hear. She's still behind me. She's probably harmless. Whoever she is. Leave her be.

A woman alone on a bus this time of night? I bet she's just as paranoid as you are right now. I want to look, but I know I'm not meant to. What? Like in the dream, I knew if I looked at her something terrible would happen, but I need to see her. Jesus Christ, Val. It was just a dream. I swear to God, Lou, it was this bus. This exact bus. Why isn't it slowing down? You're freaking yourself out again. You always do this.

I'm on 18%. I know what I'm gonna do. Val, please. Don't do anything crazy. No, I'm gonna be subtle. I'm gonna act like I'm taking a selfie and get a picture of her. Come on, man. Shh, it'll be quick. No, no, I shouldn't have done that shit. Lou, I shouldn't have done that. Did she see you? She was looking at me. Fuck, she's looking right at me. There's something wrong with her face. What the hell do you mean by that?

It's too long, like they stretched it. I can't see her eyes. You took a picture? Yeah. Send it to me. What? I can tell you how much of this is in your head. I... I don't think I should. Why not? I wasn't supposed to look at her. Fuck, Val. Are you having another episode? No, Lou, this is real. Jesus Christ, dude. You had a scary dream and got lost on the bus. That's it. That's fucking it, okay?

Okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that. Did you...

Do something to this photo. Lou, I think something terrible is going to happen. That, uh, that thing with the face? The lighting's not great back there. It could just be shadows. Stuff looks weird this time of night. Maybe she's just looking because you're the only person there. I need to get off this fucking bus, Lou. Try hitting the stop button a few more times. Maybe there was a malfunction or something. The driver might have just missed it.

She's been following me. I don't know how long, but she was in my dream. She was there at the bus stop. She's here. And now I've... We've seen her face. I don't think it's constructive to talk about that. Okay? We just gotta focus on... I can't see out the window. It's so dark out there, Lou. I should be able to see something, right? There's gotta be something out there. Shit, did you hear that? Yeah. Yeah, that was on my end.

Lou, what's happening? Lou? What's going on? Like a bird flew into it or something? Maybe.

Looks like someone hit it with a hammer. Shit, shit, no, no, no, no. What's wrong? I knew I shouldn't have sent it to you. What? You've seen her face. Lou, just like I did, you're not supposed to look at her face. Take another picture. What? No. Well, if we've already seen her face, what does it matter, right? If we're going to take this line of thinking to its logical conclusion... But why? I don't understand. I...

I want to know for sure she's still there on the bus with you. The bus hasn't stopped, Lou. I know. Just take the picture, please, Val. Okay. Val? She's getting closer. Closer? She moved down a couple of seats. Jesus, fuck. Get out of the house, Lou. You're not safe there. What? What is up with her face? Jesus Christ, does she have eyes?

Why the fuck isn't he stopping? Oh god. 14% sure. I can't- I'm so sorry, Lou, but I can't- I can feel her again, just like in my dream. I can feel her eyes on me. They're like hot coals.

I think I'm gonna die tonight, but I think maybe we're both gonna die. Don't fucking talk like that, okay? Just fucking don't. We're gonna figure this shit out. We can... Holy fuck. Jesus Christ. Okay, okay. I'm grabbing a baseball bat and locking myself in the living room.

No. They won't get here in time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just want to get off. I just want to go home. I just want to get off. I just want to go home. Shit.

Like creaking? I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna go straight to the driver. Hello? Are you in there?

Why aren't you fucking listening to me? Why won't you fucking listen? Val, what's happening? I can't see him. The fucking glass is frosted over. It's right outside. I can see her. She's standing in the aisle looking at me. Her face is... There's something wrong with her face. Lil? Lil? You were right, Valerie. You shouldn't have looked at her face.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Mayfair Watcher Society is based on the works of Trevor Henderson. The Woman on the Bus was written by Henry Galley. Val was played by Nicole Goodnight. Lou was played by Atticus Jackson. Our sound designer was Brad Kolbrek. Music by Matt Royberger. And I'm your showrunner, Pacific S. Obdaya. Our creative director was Trevor Henderson, and our producers are Tom Owen and Brad Miska.

Mayfair Watchers Society is a bloody FM show. For more information, visit mayfairwatchers.com.