109: The not so awesome part about the holidays
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Hello my beautiful people! Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I am reporting to you live right now from laying in my bed. I usually record and film in the podcast room, but like it's Thanksgiving Eve. I'm cozy. I'm not trying to look cute right now. Therefore, I don't know. I just, it was too sunny in there and I was like, I'm gonna lay on my bed and I'm gonna record this episode. And honestly, I

I don't think that you and I have had a conversation, just us two, in a minute. We've had a couple of guests, which means it's been two weeks of, like, cool conversations. But I want to talk to you. I want to chat with you. I'm feeling excited. I'm feeling hopeful. I'm really starting to feel the Christmas spirit because, you know, Thanksgiving's tomorrow and who cares about Thanksgiving? No offense. Maybe that's not... Maybe that's just me. I personally...

don't like thanksgiving last year i had the best thanksgiving ever my family and all of our family friends went up to fsu for a football game which is obviously huge party school if you don't know it's a college that is very good at partying that's where i went um hold on i have to yawn give me one second

Okay, I could have paused it, but I didn't. Yeah, so last Thanksgiving was great. We all went there. We stayed in a freaking RV. We had our own little setup. We had flowers in old alcohol bottles, but we all just celebrated like teenagers, like college frat boys, but our whole families, like our parents were all doing shots together. It was awesome. Absolutely amazing. Anyways, usually for Thanksgiving, and this isn't like anything against my family whatsoever, but

Obviously, my immediate family, my homies, love them to death. But, like, we go to our, like, our aunt's mom. I don't even know. Anyways, moral of the story here is there's a lot of family. And, like, some of the family I only see this time of year. I only see them on Thanksgiving. And it's just sometimes...

heavy conversations and hard conversations and like crap I don't want to talk about with people I barely know who are completely different human beings than me. You know, different political, different morals, different values, different things important to them and it just can be a lot to take in. Therefore, this episode today

It's going to be all about like my holiday hacks. Here's how I avoid those conversations and not even just that. I also want to talk about gifts and I'll probably do another episode on my ultimate gift guide just because I love giving presents. Can you guys tell I'm in a good mood today? Isn't that awesome? You would never know that last night I was crying for no reason. No reason. Sidetrack here.

We know I've been on this emotional rollercoaster. I have been going through the motions for who knows how long now because I don't know, my hormones are all out of whack dealing with the skin problem. I've been focusing on it less though, so that's been much better. But where was I going with that? I just got a text. I'm supposed to be on a call right now. Girl, what? I'm not doing that.

Anyways, last night, guys, my brain all over the place today. I'm just excited, okay? I'm happy for once because last night I was laying in bed and I was being so quiet to Gabe and we live together now, obviously, so we spend every night together.

I'm being so quiet and I'm being so dry and he's like, I know something's wrong. What's wrong? He's like just tell me and I'm like, dude, literally nothing. I can't even think of I can't even Make up to you a reason that i'm upset right now I'm just upset and it's so frustrating and then I just feel so bad and I feel so guilty because He's like the happiest jolliest most incredible person who's always in a good mood. He's just one of those people and

I hate when I can't explain why I'm feeling so down and it's just it makes me feel like a terrible girlfriend and I'm like oh my god you deserve better like how do you still love me when I'm crying for no reason and I won't even talk to you and he's like I love you no matter what and I just start crying even more and he's like why are you crying and I'm like I don't know.

Anyways, sorry for screaming. Back to the point. Post one of those nights. The next day is usually great. And I feel good because I... Is Thanksgiving tomorrow? Yeah. So, this episode, Holiday Hacks, we're going to start with a few things. Oh, along with gifts and family issues and all of those hard conversations and all the advice I'm going to give you along those lines, I'm also going to tell you a little chat about, oh, I'm just realizing this episode is going to get uploaded after Thanksgiving.

Whatever. Maybe we'll upload it early. Besides the point, you can use these for Christmas and stuff too.

how to handle being in your hometown for the holidays because sometimes a lot of old trauma shows up, a lot of old relationships, a lot of old friendships that maybe we didn't water and maybe they're not healthy friendships anymore. I don't know. We all got a different situation. But I know that being home for the holidays is heavy for a lot of people. It's exciting for a lot of people. It's a high school reunion for a lot of people, which some love, some hate. I lie somewhere in between. I don't think I like seeing people from high school. I don't think I like seeing people from high school.

But I also don't mind it. And then along with that topic is also the going out scene tends to change a lot over these times. Like everybody just has to go out to our old hometown bars and it's like, oh, okay. For example, I'm going out tonight. Am I excited? Not really, but I don't know. I try to compromise. My boyfriend and Lisette, they're both like really understanding that I don't love going out and I really don't do it often anymore for a multitude of, a multitude? Um, a lot of reasons.

But on a day like today, I can't really, I can't back out of this one. I could, but I would feel way too much FOMO. And then I'm going to be there and I'm going to have FOMO that I'm not home. Can't win with me. I swear, in this brain you can't win. Something's always wrong. And I learned in my brain scan, which we will debrief on soon because I finally did a follow-up appointment and I recorded the whole thing. Oh my gosh. Now that I think about it, I need to download. Oh no, I think I lost that again.

Guys, you're really getting an inside look at what's going on in this brain right now. But I'm going to give you a whole follow-up on everything I talked about in that appointment. And we will talk about it. Because she said that I have... Basically, my brain shows that I have emotional trauma. Which is why I'm so emotional. And I can be very sensitive. And I...

Which is interesting because these aren't even things I learned about myself or actually was self-aware of until basically I started dating Gabe. I don't know why. It's just never something I noticed. It was something I think I hid from. That I'm sensitive, emotional, irritable. I kind of look for the worst and I'm always thinking something is wrong.

I think I always avoided that that's how my brain actually worked by being overly positive. And I think that now that I'm with someone who's just genuinely super happy and positive and doesn't have a chemical imbalance in their brain, I'm like, oh shoot, I've been faking it. Not faking it, because I really do do my best to be positive and happy and hopeful all the time. And I am super optimistic, but it takes more work for me than I think it does for just the most, the more naturally happy people.

This is all besides the point. Talking your ear off for way too long about things that aren't in this episode. Let's get to the point. It's the holiday season, okay? Let's make sure to take it in and look for the good and be hopeful and happy and positive because...

This is a very fun time of year, okay? It's the time that if you don't live in Florida, it starts snowing and you get to go look at the Christmas lights and drink hot chocolate. Florida can't really drink hot chocolate because it's still 90 degrees outside. Blessing and a curse. I sometimes wish I could have a white Christmas, but I do love not having to shovel snow off my windshield.

And you can buy your friends presents and you can make your friends presents. And I just love Christmas. I'm also a December baby. My birthday is December 30th and my little brother's birthday is December 18th. So not only is it the holiday season, it's also the birthday season. And I always have a super fun birthday party every year at my parents' house. Last year we got a mechanical bowl and a photo booth. It's one thing that I really look forward to. So...

I'm doing my best to be super hopeful going into this holiday season, and I think that you need to do the same. It's easy to focus on the fact that you might have to see people you don't like, you might have to deal with family issues, but obviously easier said than done, let's try to lean into a more positive mindset. And I know you're probably like, Lexi, shut the heck up, because this is something I've been experiencing now too. I love to give people that advice, and I

Gabe loves to give me that advice like he is just like I said a jolly joyful beam of light sunshine bug so

So, when I'm going through it, he's like, remember, you get to do all these things. You don't have to be stressed because you get to. And it's in the most caring, loving way. But when I'm really going through it in the morning, if I'm really overwhelmed with my to-do list, because, I don't know, lately with all the traveling I've been doing, first world problem, I'm so blessed to be going all the places I am. But, that being said, when I am home, I'm exhausted because I'm recovering from traveling, but I have only two days, essentially, to get everything done for the next whatever.

Besides the point, when I wake up super overwhelmed like that, I usually tend to be very anxious with it and sensitive and in a rough mood that's hard to fix. And he'll try to be like, no, it's okay. Like, be happy. And I'm like, shut up, Gabe. I can't do this right now. So you're probably telling me to shut up. One, because I'm talking like a crazy person today. Two, because I'm telling you to fix your mindset. I know how annoying it can be to hear that sometimes.

And I know this is like even a Debbie Downer thing for me to even mention. And a lot of this podcast used to be or has been so just positive, like overwhelmingly positive. And I am just, the older I get, having more realizations that life isn't always going to be perfect. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. And yes, I've talked through a lot of the hard times I've gone through with you, but

I don't know. This episode is just reminding me to remind you that it's okay to feel like shit and, like, not be able to get out of it. We're still going to work on it. We're still going to do our best every single day to work on it.

Let's get back to the point. Quick intermission. This is another perfect ad to be sharing with you guys in this episode. I know I didn't get into the gift guide like I said I was going to do, but if you want to get people unique gifts that fit their vibe, that are super special, and you're not going to find everywhere else, please go to Uncommon Goods. I told you about them I think two or three times now, but that's because it is the best freaking website. You can find the most unique pieces and almost everything on there. You're supporting small. You're supporting small artists, and once it sells out, you can't get it again because...

Again, everything is unique. And you want to get your stuff before the holiday season starts really packing because they will sell out of the most coolest things ever. They have art and jewelry and kitchen and home and bar decor. They have everything you could imagine. I got my parents a couple of gifts on there just because it's so fun to shop. I'm talking like little silly things or white elephant gifts or if your best friend loves horses, like go on there and find something related to a horse, whatever you want.

I just got my dad and I told you guys about this last time too a salt thing so that he can like when he's grilling he can use this salt plank it's so cool it's a nice thick pink Himalayan salt thing last time I got a little sunflower seed grower I don't think I ever ended up planting my seeds but I was really excited for it maybe I still have it somewhere

Just being honest, but they also have unexpected opportunities and fun ways to connect. You can do like a tarot card reading, a romantic map mating, cooking mating, making, cooking mixology classes. I'm getting too excited. I can't speak. And they donate $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice every time you make a purchase, which I just think is beautiful and awesome. I love that you get to put your own input in there. And they've donated over $2.5 million. It's incredible.

So to get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash moments. That's uncommongoods.com slash moments for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer, okay? Seriously, go to use code moments. We're all out of the ordinary. Okay, love you, bye. We are gonna be happy this holiday season, okay? We're gonna be joyful, celebrating, and we're gonna look for the good and we're gonna smile every day and it's gonna be awesome. But let's get down to having these hard family conversations. There's a few things I wrote down

Barely. I wrote down bullet points that don't make any sense. But there's a few conversations that come up a lot of times for me and my family that are, I just hate them. And I know that it's universal experience, a lot of them. Maybe these can relate to you. Maybe they won't. Maybe you won't hear them this year. Maybe you'll hear them 5 million times.

First one tends to be and I experience this a lot in my family because my family is pretty and when I'm talking my family again not talking immediate family I'm talking like aunts and uncles and second aunts and second cousins and the people that you only see once a year essentially we don't all politically agree okay the older I've gotten the more I've come to my own

of who I am as a person and what my morals are and what my values are, I'm a diehard liberal, okay? I am a person that's for the people. And this podcast episode, if you're not liberal, it doesn't matter. This advice can still apply to you. There's going to be people who are going to disagree with the way that you see the world. And that is something we cannot change. That is actually the beauty of our country and why...

our country is the way that it is because people get to make their own decisions and set their own values and their own morals and I think that there is nothing wrong with that. I don't view anybody who's on the opposing political party, I don't view that as negative. I think it's incredible. That's just me talking Democrats and Republicans. I think the problem now with politics is that it's so much more based around people than it is around our morals and values. Like we're not talking left and right, we're talking

Joe Biden and Donald Trump. And I think that when we're basing all of these, like, opinions on people, it just takes away from it. And it's not so much, like, cool, awesome, we have different morals and values. It's more...

What's the word I'm looking for? It's more just like opinion based and it's more negative and everything is more extreme and it's so much more polarized nowadays having political conversations and it's not like we're just sitting and discussing why someone's Republican because of the economy and how it's more beneficial to the economy versus what am I saying? Sorry, I was looking at my phone and I'm getting messages and I'm getting distracted. The point is political conversations never really have gone smoothly but I do believe that

the older we get and the more polarized things get, the harder these conversations tend to become. And what I experience a lot of is sometimes I am the cause of this and I will admit it, I sometimes can't keep my mouth shut. There will be comments made at the table, in the kitchen, when someone's opening a beer that I do not feel comfortable with. Like I will hear something come out of my, let's just call this person John, okay? John isn't even a person in my family.

I will hear something come out of John's mouth that does not sit right with me. It will either be like racist or homophobic or something just not okay for me. And I will say something or I will give a dirty look or I will just like make a comment and be like, dude, how about let's not? And I try not to do it in a way of like, let's turn this into a huge argument. I'm just like, dude, the same way if my brothers or my dad or someone who grew up using the R word,

Says it because a lot of a lot of dudes don't understand why it's not an okay word to say and a lot of people don't Anyways, it's like when they say slip up and say that word. I'm like, hey, let's we're not using that word Okay, especially not around me We're just not using that word because it's wrong and it's not nice and they'll be like but it just means da da da da da No, it doesn't and if that's what it means use the other word have some respect for people end of story. Um

I'll give people that kind of look or I'll make that kind of comment and sometimes, especially if I say something to John, John likes to come over to me and be like, "Well, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh." Immediately just, I mean, belittle, belittle, belittle. Because I am a 22 year old female. John is a grown ass man who feels the need to make people like me feel small and stupid and

This happens almost every year. It doesn't really phase me. I don't get super upset about it, but I do get frustrated because I can only imagine how they make other people feel if this is how they make me feel in their own family. Or maybe they make me feel worse because I am their own family. I don't know. But it just makes me realize the kind of person that they are. And then I get a little bit frustrated. And when these things happen...

Honestly, I guess I don't have that much advice about them because I just kind of have to sit there and take it like a champ and let them make me feel stupid because John will start shooting numbers and facts at me that are probably made up, probably not real, about things that...

I don't know enough information about because when I tell you I know politics, yes I know the big things going on in the world but essentially I lean where I lean because of where my values and my morals are not because of facts and statistics about money. Do you know what I'm saying? And unemployed, I don't know. Basically when I get yelled at about politics it's usually just to make me feel stupid and it's hard for me to say anything back so what I have to do is just take it and swallow it and let it go.

And all I can do is continue to do my best to speak up for people who can't speak up, who are being treated poorly, who are being talked about poorly behind their backs. Like, I will still stop people in their tracks if they say something wrong. And another thing that I like to do is if they say something that is super out of pocket,

Instead of being like, stop, don't say that. Be like, say that again. Say that again. Let them listen to what they said. And 99% of the time, that's such a lie. 80% of the time, because some people have no problem saying things, they'll be like, oh, maybe that's not something I want to repeat. Like maybe I didn't realize that's what came out of my mouth. And maybe I don't want to say that again now that more people are listening. And this kind of turns into moving along from the politics. I guess my final piece of advice there is just

You can only do so much. There are only so many minds you can change. A lot of people are extremely closed-minded. And I see why. As I get older, I'm a lot more closed-minded in my views and the way that I see the world and my morals. But I will still listen to people. And I still will never make someone feel stupid for having their own opinion. I will just be able to have a conversation about it. But I think that when you're talking with the older generation...

It's much harder to find that. Most people in the older generation will not be willing to listen to you about anything. Which moves into the next thing I want to talk about is...

One thing that gets really frustrating for me, and this is probably something that we all experience on different levels, is just older generation kind of like saying crap about social media and making you feel really dumb for using it, which I get. I think social media is dumb. It's also my career. So I face a lot of, oh, so that's what you're doing. You didn't finish school. Less now because I think I've proved myself enough, but 2021, 2022.

Especially 2021, I was first getting started on social media and I saw the potential of it. I mean, most people now can understand that social media is the number one form of marketing, advertising. It is what every brand is using to sell their product. It's everyone's on it. And there's no denying that it has an impact on the world right now. And it has reach. But back in 2021, when I believed in something and no one else did, I faced so many comments about like,

Why would you not go to school? You're such a... This is so stupid. It's such a waste of time. It's such a waste of... Anyways, now everyone's shut up. But the point I'm trying to make with this is not just dealing with boomers talking about social media. It's dealing with family members, especially family members that you never see, commenting on what it is you're choosing to do with your life. If you let someone's opinion get in your head...

Don't okay, you know yourself, you know your path, you know your purpose you've seen the visions of your future and You need to believe in yourself and not let these people because this is I think one of the bigger things that happens in the holiday season Especially when we see old friends we see family they always have something to say and one of the things I always try to remind myself is that

The people that say it's impossible, one, are the people that haven't tried. The people that say it's stupid are also the ones who haven't tried, are also the ones who essentially chose something and stuck with it because someone else told them to. They're people who are projecting their own insecurities and their own failures onto you. They want to make people who are chasing their dreams feel bad about chasing their dreams. And

I have faced that countless times in my life that at this point it doesn't phase me, but it used to phase me really badly. Especially, I think that the reason I was able to take this jump with social media and not be so afraid of it was because back when I was 13 and I did my yoga teacher training, I had, there was this one news article in the Sun Sentinel. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on the podcast. And, um,

I had just gotten certified at 13. I did the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I taught in front of a thousand people. I was teaching classes every week. I finally found what I loved and I was so passionate about teaching and I was so proud of myself. I mean more proud of myself I think than I've ever been for anything in my life even now. And I was so excited because the Sun Sentinel, our local newspaper, wrote an article about me. I was losing my shit. I was so happy and I read the article.

And this yoga teacher who is very well known in the community, they also interviewed her and she got on and said, I don't think a 13 year old can understand adult yoga or the body or can teach yoga. And essentially was just very, very rude about me. And I didn't know that that was going to be in the article. And I want to pull it up and find it somewhere because I just want to read that again and see the projection in it because now we can understand it. But at the time I was heartbroken.

I was like, how could a grown-up come on here and tell me that I'm not capable when I just did seven months of training and learning and I did it. I did it and I'm teaching it and I'm successful in it and I know what I'm talking about, you know? It was such a bummer and I think every single one of us feels that from someone in our life at some point in our life. Some point along your journey, someone's going to doubt you. Someone's not going to believe in you.

And I don't even need to get too deep. I know we're just talking like simple family conversations right now. But while I'm on the topic, let me remind you that you cannot let anyone get in the way of the decisions that you make. Yes, always hear people out, okay? Always be open-minded to what people have to say, but don't ever let it stop you, okay? Take people's advice. Oh, that's another one I like. Never take advice from someone who hasn't been in your shoes, right? Like take advice from people who have done it.

But if someone's never tried shit, what can they possibly say about it? Okay, end of story. Let's move on. What I say when people always tried me about anything that I've ever said I wanted to do or if they laugh in my face and say, ha ha, good luck, I'm like, okay, literally whatever. That's all it's ever been. I just laugh in their face. I giggle and I say, maybe you're right, but I don't think so. And I let that be that. And I've learned to just brush off all of those things

because I've already gone through it enough when I was 13. I don't care what you have to say. I will continue to prove myself and chase my dreams no matter what your opinion is. And I want you to please adopt that same exact mindset because we live in a different time now. And I think that everyone young, hopefully the people in your life, the friends in your life that you keep in your circle are encouraging you and cheering you on. But also while I'm on the topic, if they're not, I'm going to whisper it. You might want to reevaluate that friendship.

Okay, I have friends in my life. Lissette is my best friend since I was seven years old, six years old. She at this point, she used to giggle at me when I would say all my crazy dreams.

She's seen me prove most of them now. So she's like, oh, okay, you know, I'm not going to laugh at that because you're probably going to make it happen. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. So just prove it to your friends. But if they really don't believe in you, that's not something you need in your life. Okay, we need people to support us and encourage us. And we can't choose family. So we're going to be stuck around that sometimes around the holidays, but we can choose our friends. Moving on.

So you guys, quick intermission. I told you about this, I believe, last week or the week before, but you know, I am obsessed with my electrolytes and I actually didn't have them yesterday and now that I'm making this ad, I'm realizing that I haven't, but thank you to Drink Element for sponsoring this episode and thank you for sponsoring my freaking life. I have self-purchased

element for my brothers and Gabe for Christmas because it is just that good and they have the most unique flavors which I'm about to get into and I didn't know that they did until I recently looked on the website besides the point the best electrolyte packets you will ever have in your life they have sodium they have potassium they have magnesium magnesium helps calm you down it's great for so many things and sodium helps keep you hydrated believe it or not

I used to be terrified of sodium, but you actually function better when you have two to three times the normal amount of sodium in you. As I've been drinking this more and more often, I feel so much better in general. I feel so much less fatigued, so much more energized, so much more joyful when I'm actually hydrated because I spent so much of my life not being hydrated. And one of the things I love the most about Drink Element is that all of these...

other sports drinks have so much sugar and this has no sugar and i'm telling you guys this is my most genuine ad because me and gabe are obsessed with drink element and it is the best electrolytes that taste the best and they're so good and i'm addicted to them and i really just want you to go try them i got nothing else to say because just go give them a try and you actually get a free gift with your purchase if you use code moments you can get a free sample pack that's your gift um

with your element order by going to drinkelement.com slash moments that's l-m-n-t Gabe used to call it drink Lamont I told you guys that in the last ad too but you're gonna absolutely love it please go get your free sample pack try all the unique flavors I honestly haven't tried them all yet I'm a raspberry girl and a watermelon girl those are my go-to but I ran out of both boxes so now I've been drinking lemon lime which is also delicious but raspberry watermelon get it great gift to get for your brother or your dad anyone who plays sports and I mean that okay love you bye

The next thing that happens a lot at family conversations is I'm going to definitely do a gift guide separate podcast. So if you're waiting for that, maybe come back next week, but I think you should listen to this anyways. You are in a family. I, I've struggled with this a lot. Okay. And I never really realized that I was struggling with it at the times that I was until I've gone older and I can look back and understand things and look at things with a clear, knowledgeable mind. I,

Notice in my family that there is a lot of body image stuff, a lot of really weird tension around food, especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have always been known to eat a lot. I grew up being called like the garbage disposal, the vulture. What's the other one? The vacuum. Like I'm just an endless pit and I can eat a lot of food.

A lot more back when I was in high school. And at the time, comments like that did not faze me whatsoever. Not even, they don't as much now. But back in the day when I was in high school, I'm telling you, I had the fastest metabolism of all time.

I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't phase me. And now I'm an adult. My body has changed. I have to be a little bit more aware of what I put into my body. But I still have that same appetite. So it's not an issue around food. I genuinely believe I have a great relationship with food. But around the holidays, I just always kind of go back to those thoughts and like point here where I'm trying to get at is I still have family members make comments about how I eat or what I eat.

And it's not so much something that bothers me too much, but I know that it's a very heavy conversation for a lot of people. And so many people and so many families face these weird body comments because, like, why –

I could tell you why. It's because the beauty standard that we've set is essentially impossible to reach and it's so bad and there's such a diet culture and even though we're all being a little bit more aware of like building a healthy relationship with food, almost no one is. And it sucks. I watch, we're going to use nicknames here again because I don't think anyone in my family is listening to my podcast anymore. I don't think they have in who knows how long. I think Leah's coming in my room. Um.

hear her maybe she's scratching but anyway in case they are let's just use a name Sarah has a daughter Sophie and Sarah and her husband are always telling Sophie to eat less and it is so sad because I hear it every time I'm with these members of my family and it breaks my heart because I know

What Sophie is gonna grow up and be like and what her relationship with food is going to be like because I've seen this in a lot of my friends as well and it's really sad and it breaks my heart because as Sophie gets older she's gonna understand and I'm all for Parents being aware of what their kids are eating and making sure they're getting enough nutrients enough protein, you know having a balanced diet but

Sarah and her husband aren't like that with Sophie. They're just like, "You need to eat less." And it's sad, and I know that that happens a lot around the holidays, like family will make jokes like, "Oh, you're getting another plate. Oh, you're having more. Oh, you're gonna have a second piece of pie." They don't realize that these comments are going to affect people for the rest of their life, for the next months, for the next year.

Like, I remember one Thanksgiving, I had just come home from college, and it was... Oh my god, you guys, I was a wreck. It was my first Thanksgiving home from college. I was a freshman. Freshman 15 is real. If you say it's not, you're lucky. But most people experience freshman 15. And it is what it is. It's a new phase of life. It's a new chapter. It's sometimes temporary. And if it's not, who cares? The point is, I have put on maybe 15 to 20 pounds since the last Thanksgiving. And...

I already felt really bad in my own skin. I just didn't feel comfortable. I didn't really feel like myself. I didn't want to take family pictures. This Thanksgiving was not the vibes at all for me. And on top of that, my family members made jokes about what I looked like and how different I looked and would do it backhandedly, okay? Not in the way where they're straight up like, haha, freshman 15. They would just say stuff like, oh my god, you look so different. And I'm like, oh my god, shut up. I know what you mean.

And that is a very, very, very heavy, heavy part of the holidays. And it was hard for me. And I think what I had to do to get past it was one, just like recognize that, again, my body is a vessel. My body is not me. I'm a heart and a soul and a mind. It doesn't matter what I look like on the outside. And it especially doesn't matter what my second cousin has to say about my body or my great uncle or my great grandpa or my grandpa of my mom's, you know, like,

These people my dog's cousin's mom's sister's brother. It doesn't matter what they say about me It doesn't matter what anyone says about me for that matter What matters is how I feel inside and this is a situation where I didn't necessarily feel good inside But I should have like I still looked great and I was healthy and I was happy and there was no reason that I needed to look at myself the way that I did and

I just wish that I could go back to her and be like, listen, it's okay. It's a phase of your life. You look beautiful. It doesn't matter what anyone says to you right now. And I want that to be the piece of advice I'm giving you. If that is a stage that you're at, wherever you're feeling with your body, you are beautiful exactly the way that you are. And as long as you are taking care of yourself and you are fueling yourself and you are giving your soul and your body and your mind what it loves and what it wants, and you are not depriving yourself of good things or bad things, you

you are good and you are fine and whatever anyone older or your age has to say about your body is on them it is their own insecurity it is their own projection and you don't owe them anything you don't owe them an explanation you don't at all again this is what I like to use say that again if someone tries you for having two pieces of pie at the table or two pieces of pizza on Christmas Eve I don't know what people have on Christmas Eve just look them in the eye

Either give them the dead stare and walk away, don't respond, or don't look at them. Completely ignore them, pretend you didn't hear them, or ask them to say it again. You really want people to feel uncomfortable, that's when you make them say it again. And you move on with your life. And you let it go in one ear and out the other. The holidays is a really good time to just let things flow through you. Don't let them sit. It's never worth your time. Another thing is...

A lot of times back now, it's going to be my first Thanksgiving with a boyfriend, so we'll see. But when I was probably 16 years old, I would get comments like, oh my God, when are you going to get a boyfriend? When are you going to get married? When are you going to have kids? I'm like, can we slow our roll? And I'm not sure why adults are always in such a rush for younger people to just settle down and let their life go. And I would always be so frustrated by these comments because it was never even something in my head. I'm never...

I was never looking for a boyfriend or wanting to settle down. I was always contently single. So when that would be the topic of conversation, I'm like, hey, let's talk about me and what I'm doing, not when I'm going to find a man and marry. So usually when those conversations come up, I'm just like, it's not something I'm thinking about right now. I'm 22 years old. I have a whole life to live and it's not going to revolve around meeting someone and settling down. I think

Since that's what most older people did and that's what was the thing to do in their generation, that's the first thing they're going to talk about. But usually it's not intentional. They don't understand. That's another thing. There's a huge difference in the mind of a 65-year-old and a 22-year-old. And a lot of times these comments and these things that they have to say, and this helps bring me some ease.

It's not intentional. Sometimes it is, yes. But sometimes they just talk about the things that they talked about growing up. They see the world completely different. Their scheduling of life is different. They were married by the time they were 20. That's why they're wondering if you're going to start looking into that. They've never looked at TikTok in their life. They're going to wonder what the heck is social media and what is it doing. And yes, they tend to have a more...

sassy, undertone, backhanded tune to these questions that they ask. But most of the time, it's not with bad intentions. And a lot of times, if this is a kinder, older person, they're willing to learn and understand your side. So don't be afraid to be like, hey, I want to travel first. I don't want to have kids yet. I want to be young while I'm young and I can settle down when I'm older. They might understand. They might not. Whatever it may be.

take nothing personal at this time of year okay I've already been talking for 32 minutes so I'm probably going to end this episode soon um that's pretty much everything I wrote down I think essentially going into the holidays I just want you to oh last thing I want to cover is the going out scene and seeing old flings old feet people old friendships I notice a lot this is when we deal with

Like I was saying, the older people will say comments and a lot of times they're not intentionally mean or wrong. They're just older people who don't know how to talk to younger people.

But when we come home for the holidays, we see a lot of friends who often have a lot of things to say. This is when you're going to deal with people being like, oh, so you went to this school and you're doing this. Or, oh, you didn't finish school. Or, oh, you're talking to that person. I hooked up with that person. That comes around a lot at this time of year. We have to deal with a lot of mean girls that we haven't seen since high school. We have to deal with a lot of just people that we haven't seen from high school. And the hometowns are definitely interesting. I am very curious to see...

what tonight is gonna be like i'm i'm not drinking i'm just gonna go out and kind of people watch and take it in because i have to leave friday for a trip and then i leave tuesday for another trip so your girl cannot have alcohol or i will be depressed you know the drill so i'm gonna do my best to be social it's gonna be really hard to be sober in this setting besides the point sorry i just love to ramble about my own life when we're supposed to be talking about our life my bad

You're going to see people you probably don't want to see. Just hold yourself strong, okay? Walk with your shoulders up. Know who you are. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. Don't be afraid to be confident in yourself and what you've become and what you've done, especially if you're someone who, let's say, went away for college and did something crazy and did something out of the ordinary.

Don't be afraid to like speak up for yourself if someone has something negative to say. You should be proud of yourself for doing something different and stepping out of the bubble. And again, I think a lot of this comes from projection of people upset that they didn't leave the bubble. Like if someone just stayed in their hometown, which is also fine. Like that's, I tried the whole travel thing and I realized I want to be home. I love my family and I love my bubble and I want this to be my home base and I'll still travel, but this is home.

There's nothing wrong with either thing, but be kind to other people who have done something different, okay? Don't make comments. Let them feel proud of themselves and make sure that you feel proud of yourself for who you are, what you're doing, and why you are the way that you are. Okay, I'm going to let you go. I'm going to go...

What was I going to do? I think I'm going to work out after this. And then we have annual pie baking. We've been baking pies for 12 years in a row now. Pretty awesome. And I need to get my eyebrows done. And then I have to go out. Thanksgiving Eve at its finest. And in the meantime, between all those things, somehow get a crap ton of work done since I have to leave Friday. But I shall be able to do it. And you will be able to do it all too. And we are going to, again, go into these holidays with a good mindset. We're going to be happy, jolly, and bright.

All month long. Okay, we'll do a gift guide in December because that does sound fun. If you're listening to this episode and you have an idea of what gifts you want to give people or no, sorry, got distracted. If you have any questions on who you should get gifts for, like if you want a gift guide, what to get your boyfriend's mom, DM me and I will do my best to give you some options because I love gift giving. And yeah, next week's episode might be a little bit late just because I'm going to be traveling and I'm all over the place, but I will do my best to get it up on time. I'm not so ahead as I was yesterday.

two weeks ago. I love you so much. Have the best day ever. And maybe I get this up early before Thanksgiving and you can listen to it in the morning. If not, hope your Thanksgiving was good. And I wonder if any of these situations happened for you. Okay. Love ya. Bye.

Bye.

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