Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
It's just been inspiring to see the reaction and see the response. And I'm sure it's very similar for you guys. It's motivating to keep doing what you're doing and to keep helping more people and reaching more people and not just to reach more people, but to help people understand that it's all good. ♪
What's up, everybody? Welcome to episode 80 of the Mad Happy Podcast. I'm Payman. Really excited to have Lexi Hidalgo on the show today. She and I had an amazing conversation a few weeks ago. She's about all things positive content. Really, really great stuff that she's putting out and inspired me to continue trying to put out work that...
that inspires people and work that makes people feel good and heard and understood. She also has a great podcast called The Moments Pod, and everyone here should check that out. But without further ado, we wanted to release this episode a little early on Thanksgiving week. Signing off, the Mad Happy Podcast is brought to you by Optimism. Enjoy the show with Lexi Hidalgo.
This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.
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Lexi, thank you for being here. Yes, of course. So happy to be here. What's going on? Excited to have you. So is your real name Lexi or is that short for something? Well, see, I could go into this for hours. My real name is actually Alexis. I've gone by Lexi since I was younger. The name Alexis always means
I don't know. I just never liked it. It felt too mature. It felt too professional. But now when I think of the name Alexis, I think of the most evolved version of myself, I guess you could say. So there's certain days I'm Alexis and certain days I'm Lexi. And I'm choosing to be Alexis today. So yeah, it's short for Alexis, but usually just Lexi. It's funny. Yeah. So my name's Payman, which is actually a Persian name. So I was born in Italy. My parents are from Iran. And then I moved to L.A. when I was six.
I think for me it was always, like, hard because I didn't really like my name growing up because it's really hard to say and spell and all this stuff. And as a kid, you just, like, really want to fit in. So I always think it's funny. And we always ask about names because, you know, there's, like, a certain, like,
experience you went through just like with your nickname or like with your full name and I think for me like now now I love my name I think it's unique and also after you meet me it's like I'm probably the only payment you know so it kind of sticks in your head I love it but did you like first move here did you go by something else or you were always I never did yeah I never did so it's funny I think I got lucky in a way because like there's not like a clear like
nickname that would work well. I wouldn't even know what to go with. Yeah. And I think like a lot of people would change to like a pretty like generic name if they did change it. But I just like got through the harder part and then I was like,
Now I have all the benefits of not having a very standard name. But one thing we always start with on the show, we have this mental health journal that we released last year. It's called the Mad Happy Journal. There's a bunch of prompts in there. So awesome. Yeah, and we always ask, and we've got to send you one if you don't have one. Oh, I would love one. Yeah, we always ask one prompt from there. And for me, my question for you today is, you can answer it and then I'll answer it, is what's one thing that you're currently struggling with or trying to work on now?
in your life? Could be small, could be big. It's a good one. You know, I was actually thinking about this today and I would probably say right now something I'm struggling with and doing my best to work through is stepping out of my comfort zone. Like I'm so comfortable doing a lot of crazy things. Like if someone put a log over the Grand Canyon and told me to walk across it, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love living on the edge, but I hold myself back so much sometimes because I just get nervous and I let things
takes so much control over me. And I think like, what if this happens? What if that happens? And I'm working through it. Like I'm doing big things and I'm taking big steps. And even for me to just, I don't know, have a conversation with someone that,
about mental health that's not just with me sitting in my room talking to my mic is really cool and really big step in the right direction. So working through it, but I've definitely been struggling with it lately. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. It's so funny because comfort zones in general are a funny topic because like,
What you just mentioned, which is like walking across the log on the Grand Canyon, like to you, that's actually still technically in your comfort zone, even though externally it could seem like it's not. And like I found for myself, like I started therapy like two years ago and it's pretty crazy just like how much I've been able and I always talk about on the show about how much I've been able to like learn about myself internally.
in that time. And there are so many areas where I wasn't even talking about the thing because anytime I would, like, I would just like feel very like weird inside. And like, obviously like, that's like the feeling that you are getting out of your comfort zone. And, and now even for me, and I think I'm going to copy yours just because it's really good. And I think like for me,
In work, you know, the company's gotten a lot bigger and we have a 30 person team. We have a big office. We have all these like expectations and stuff. And, and I think there's parts of my job that like,
I still stick to my comfort zone in. So like sometimes I let, you know, something's in the back of my head like, oh, you should have this conversation now. You shouldn't let it linger. But I do because obviously it's easier to do that. And we're humans and we don't want to do that interaction at all times. And like, you know, it takes a lot of energy out of you every time you have one of those or whatever. But I think I found and it was funny because I had one this morning.
That I was just like, hey, like, I should just do this now, like, instead of two months from now and waste everyone's time. And you feel so much better after, too. And I think you just train yourself to be like, oh, I can do these things, you know, and I'm not going to die or I'm not going to, like, fail or whatever. So really good one. It's one of those things where...
I've recently learned that stepping out of your comfort zone and starting to, I watched this TED talk called, I think it was called Dancing with Fear. But I watched that and it shifted like the way that I saw the comfort zone so much. And it kind of just taught me that once you step out of your comfort zone once, it gets easier and easier and every time and it kind of just keeps...
keeps motivating you and keeps inspiring you to do the next thing but obviously that's easier said than done I feel the same way with with work and taking the next big steps for the moments podcast for myself in general I just kind of I'm like well I can get to it later you know all we have is time but sometimes it's worth just taking the leap like taking the first step and it never it never goes wrong 90% of the time no for sure and and I think it's like everything's like
pretty reversible as well. So like, even if it didn't go as you expected, it's like, you grow. Yeah. Um, I'm curious. So you're 21, right? Yes. So I feel like you've done a lot for 21. I mean, when I was 21, I was still in college and, um, you know, um,
hadn't done really anything. But I'm curious for you, one, like, where did you grow up kind of like paint a picture of your childhood? And then we could get into that a bit. I am 21. I do feel like I've done a lot. But I also feel like, you know, there's so much more to do. And we have so much time. But when I grew up, I grew up in Delray Beach, Florida. So South Florida, always in the ocean, always by the water, no mountains, none of that. Had an awesome, awesome childhood. Like I
have two younger brothers. They're 16 and 18 right now. My parents are the freaking best. I went to school, was in the gifted program, our whole neighborhood. We were just like
best friends. My parents went to high school with our neighbors and they had kids the same age. We would like go in the woods and play infection, play manhunt. And I think back to my childhood and I'm so grateful for everything about it, every detail. And elementary school was great. I felt awesome. You know, obviously when you're young, you're in elementary school, you don't really understand anything about what you're feeling mentally or why you're feeling things. And then middle school kind of happened for me. And
That's when I felt the biggest shift in my life. And that's when I think I found my, I guess, for lack of a better word, that's when I found my purpose. And that's when I figured out what I was passionate about. I had been
in sixth and seventh grade, just kind of dealing with this really, really strange feeling, like physically ill every single day. Couldn't get on the bus, would call my mom, make her pick me up from school. She was so fed up with like me being sick. And I just thought I was dying of this like internal disease. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know crap about mental health or anxiety or depression. And I finally figured out that that's what it was. I tried acupuncture. I tried going to the doctor and it wasn't until
I did yoga literally for the first time that I felt this whole shift in my mentality and the way that I saw the world. And I went from this place of darkness and like hatred, not only for myself, but for everything around me to like,
I consider it like looking back, I call it seeing colors and just seeing people in a different light and understanding that the world really is a beautiful place. And all that happened for me in one yoga class. So everything shifted. I was 13, had this like wake up call to life. And I decided that I wanted to be a yoga teacher. So I told my mom, I'm like, mom, I'm going to be a yoga teacher. And she's like, what? You're literally 13 years old. I don't know what was going through my head as a 13 year old, but apparently I had this mission and I had this goal and yeah,
I've said before, like, I think something came over me or someone came over and told me, here you go. This is what you're going to do. So we called so many studios. They all said like, no, she's too young. Why would you even think that we would allow her to do this? Yoga teaching is for adults and yada, yada, yada. You know, the world sometimes just doesn't want to see people win. And I finally found a studio after who knows how many calls that wanted to take me into their training. So I got certified, became a certified yoga teacher when I was 13. At the time it was
the youngest certified yoga teacher in the country. And it was freaking awesome. I would teach classes. And the goal with all of that was to share with people my age that it's going to be okay. Because I knew I wasn't the only one feeling what I had been feeling. But back then, I guess I didn't understand what the mission was or what I was trying to share. And now I can look at it and understand that it's just important to share.
know that you're going to feel things and you're going to go through things, but it's going to pass and it's okay. Yeah, it's funny because, you know, you talk about your childhood and from what it sounds like, it was amazing, you know, and like there wasn't anything like anecdotal
externally happening at the time that like would have led to you know feeling anxious or feeling depressed necessarily and I think like one that that's like a big lesson in it of itself which is like it's not only about like your external condition it's just like things happen and like you can't really like predict them I'm curious like thinking back about on that time like
Is there something that you think, you know, led to you feeling that way? Or do you really think it was just like chance or genetics or really whatever it was? Honestly, I can kind of pinpoint where it really started and like what happened. But I think it's part of being at that age and in the generation where technology is just becoming more and more powerful. And I had been in middle school and I don't know what year it was, but I
maybe like 2011, 12, they had that app called like Ask.fm where people could anonymously just like say things about you and comment things. And it was what everyone's doing. And my mom would yell at me every time she found out I had like an Ask.fm. I did it anyways. I was, who cares? You know, I'm not going to listen to my mom. Why would I do that? And people would just say some horrible things. I dealt with mean girls. I dealt with people, you
literally sending me pictures of like dead animals and being like, this is what you look like. And it was hard. I mean, obviously looking back, I can kind of laugh and be like, it's okay. Like nothing's personal. It doesn't, you don't have to take things like that to the heart, but yeah,
At the time, I just believed everything everyone told me. And I felt like I had been hearing so much negative that I just began to perceive myself as this terrible human being, this ugly human being who wasn't capable of much at all. And then obviously when you feel that hurt, when I felt that pain,
I just kind of put that same energy back into the world. Not to say I was like a mean person at all. I've always considered myself to have a good heart, but like I didn't view potential positivity. And then in yoga, the first thing they said was just like, take a moment to be here to be now and to be grateful for everything that's going on. And I was like, maybe if I try that, like maybe I'll feel a little bit better. And it's just kind of like snowball into the idea that, yeah, you just have to focus on gratitude, but
Going back to where this part even started, it was it was Ask.fm. It was middle school. It was Mean Girl, something that a lot of us have struggled with. I mean, I think, yeah, I remember. I mean, it was like I was like a junior or senior in high school when that happened. So a little bit older. But yeah, I mean, I feel like it's almost impossible, especially the younger you are, to not take that to heart. We talk on the show about how like when you're younger, it's like
all you want to do is fit in. And so like anytime like you feel like you're, you know, you're an outcast or you don't look like everyone else or you don't feel like everyone else, then like it's so much harder for you to take that on. And then hopefully as you get older, you're like, oh, like I'm unique. And like that's actually what's cool about me. But it takes a while to get there. So that makes sense. So you're feeling these things. You started doing yoga and like that was kind of like your path to being like, oh, like
What they're saying doesn't matter. It's like, I have everything I want. I have a great family, all this stuff. So then how did you go from that to like actually starting to share some of those things externally, you know, like whether it was through TikTok, YouTube and eventually the podcast? Like how did that all come to be?
So one thing that I've noticed about myself is that the passion for sharing that has kind of just stayed consistent because back when it was yoga, it was while I would teach yoga classes. I would talk on all of these things. And back in the day, I actually made like a yoga Instagram that I wanted to be
Instagram famous or something, just posting yoga flows and yoga videos and yoga pictures and like little words of inspiration. And it's so crazy to think that that was back in 2012, 13, 14, and now it's 2022. And I'm here still doing this in a way, but I kind of took a break from yoga. I got into beauty pageants and I did that for about a year, making it
Basically, just my mission to help people understand the same thing, that you've got to love yourself through everything that you go through and just helping people understand their value and their worth. And then stepped away from that, went to college for a couple of years, spent a year of college not really focusing on any of my passions or my projects. I just kind of partied and did the whole shebang. I felt myself falling back into that world.
depressive era, I guess I could say. And I pulled myself out of the college I was going to, moved home, quarantine happened. And I'm so grateful for it because that's when I started posting on TikTok, just literally posting workout videos, what I eat in a day,
videos with my family day in the life. And I started to notice that it gained traction and it was gaining tractions for good reasons. I was somehow some way inspiring people to take care of their body, to move their body, to love themselves through it all. And then it just kind of has kept going and kept flowing. And now it's,
Kind of the one thing that's most important to me is just talking about mental health, obviously still doing all the things that are fun, like day in the life and fun little vlogs. But most importantly, just helping people understand that it's it's all going to be OK and it can be that simple. But it's been a cool journey.
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Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
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What about you guys? Like, how did this all happen? Well, well really quick on, on that. I mean, I think it's amazing. I feel like there was a shift, you know, over the past couple of years of like before, especially when I was like growing up, like high school, college, like that content wasn't really out there as much. Like everything was very, just like, you know, IG, like very like filtered photos, like nothing raw, like no motion type of thing. Um,
And the change of that, I think, has been very powerful, especially because like now there's so many places like TikTok, YouTube, all these things where like if it went that same direction would be even worse. And so that's amazing. And congrats for us. You know, it started really just like as a small project, like Mason, who's my co-founder and my brother Noah had started a clothing brand together in high school because they loved fashion.
making clothes and it's pretty easy to go to downtown and just like figure out how to make some things. And they learned a lot through that. And that was a good, like first experience. I wasn't mad at being Mason was like actually my first friend that struggled with, with his mental health. And that was like actually how I learned what mental health was like. He never knew his biological dad growing up. He was in therapy since he was like three or four because you know, he dealt with a lot of things moved from Colorado to Michigan to LA. And he
I think he really struggled. He went to college for a year, we're the same age, dropped out of college and really was trying to find his path. Felt like sort of in a low moment and thought of this name, Matt Happy.
in a text to someone and yeah, and he texted it to someone sort of in like a different context, like I'm mad happy for you and really started to think about that word, shared it with my brother, shared it with me. And the idea behind the word is like, you can be optimistic despite the challenges that come in our lives. And so, you know, for us, we were like, Oh, like we think this name is amazing. And there's like a big message here. And like, why not put it on a couple, you know, products and like see what people think.
um not this whole like big thing and i think early on it was like wow like one people love the name and the vibe and stuff and the idea was like how do you make a space that's been so like dark negative closed off like streetwear kind of like don't walk in the store like fuck you whatever more like approachable fun and like for everyone you know because also like most of the brands have been like just for guys for example right or like very small percentage of like unisex customer and
And, and like people really liked it. And, and I think early on we were doing these like little pop-ups and we did this like panel on mental health. Cause we were, you know, we were talking about optimism and stuff like that. And, and everyone from there was like, wow, like we were like, no brand has ever done this. No one's talking about mental health. This was like 2017. Like it wasn't like the popular thing in the news yet. And we were like,
just like what Nike did with physical health and getting people moving that like helped change a generation. Like maybe there will be a brand that does that for mental health and, Oh, maybe that could be us. And, and so that was like the little thing at the beginning and the spark and stuff. And then from there, you know, we just kept going and just trying our best and, and, you know, believing in what we were doing. And,
We've been very fortunate that like people were very receptive to the message, you know, and I think everyone knows someone that's experienced challenges with their mental health and everyone themselves has probably dealt with things throughout their life, whether they realize it or not. And I think, um,
It allowed us to have something that's like so uniquely like human and universal to be like the core message of the brand. And I think when those things hit and the name really matches like the mission and like the vibe of what we're going for, I think like gave us a good chance to start and hopefully we can keep it going. Definitely. It's so inspiring just to like...
hear everything and hear other people's stories. It's one of my favorite things is listening to other people talk about what they're passionate about, but it's just so cool to see how it started with an idea. It started with something small, literally a text message with the word in it. And that's kind of how it starts for everyone when it comes to chasing dreams and chasing passion. So I'm
so proud of you guys. I mean, I just, I just met you, but seriously, it's so awesome to hear. Thank you so much. Yeah. I'm curious, like, you know, for you in starting the podcast, you know, I think that podcast format of also just like talking into a mic, you know, solo for like the audience to hear is probably like the most
personal podcasting medium because like you're literally talking into people's ears and like they form this like real relationship with you like I found that with listening to you know Emma Chamberlain's podcast and these different ones I'm like wow like you really feel like you get to know someone which I think is an amazing venue and like podcast I think is uniquely suited for that what was like the kind of inspo for you to start that was it like the message that you wanted to get out and like if it could help people then like why not share it
I never really grew up listening to podcasts. I never watched YouTube. I, which is strange because I feel like everyone that I know, even all my best friends had like their favorite YouTubers. And it turns out, I just, I guess I never watched YouTube, never listened to podcasts, obviously probably scrolled through Instagram, but yeah,
At the time on TikTok, I was posting these one minute videos making coffee and I called them little coffee talks. And in those videos, I would just kind of go over what was heavy on my heart, what was heavy on my mind, what did I want to talk about and then kind of take what I was feeling and in a way shift it into something that people could take away from it in a way. Like if I was feeling
like just really insecure. I would do a video talking about why you need to love yourself and why it's important. And I was kind of giving my followers, I guess you could say, advice that I needed to hear. And a bunch of people would comment like, you should start, and this was in 2020, you should start a podcast. You should do a podcast. I didn't know crap about this platform because I've never really listened or dove into it. And then one day I was kind of sitting and just thinking, podcasts would be really cool. It would be a really cool outlet to just kind of talk about these things on such a bigger scale and
just reach more people in a, like you said, more personal way. And I just kind of went for it. I waited for a little while. I was like waiting for everything to be perfect, waiting to be able to do it the right way. And then,
it hit me that it's never going to be perfect. You kind of just have to take the first step. You have to go for it. And ultimately I just started the podcast to become best friends with everyone who is watching me on TikTok because it is so personal. And when I record that podcast, I sit in like literally in this room in my house. When I first started it, I was sitting in my car and then I was sitting in the van that I bought that broke down. So like, I've never had a
official studio area. So whenever I'm doing it, I'm by myself and it's kind of like, I'm just sitting there talking with myself through what it is that I'm going through and what I'm feeling. And then it's super cool because I know I'm not the only one feeling it. And yeah,
It's just really fulfilling knowing that it's been able to reach people in a way bigger than I ever could have imagined. And just hearing messages of people being like, wait, I didn't know other people felt that too. Or like, I didn't know that this is something I could do to feel better. It's just been the coolest little journey. And it's still a learning lesson every single day. I still...
I'm still recording with my sometimes voice memos on my phone. I don't have professional mics. I like only have my best friends come on as guests usually, but it's a step in the right direction. And it's been, it's been awesome. Like I love this podcast more than anything.
Yeah, that's awesome. And I love that neon sign. So it's really dope. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. How did it feel like for you? I mean, sharing that stuff and like, even when you started, you're like, Oh, like, I don't know how many people are going to listen, but like, whatever, let's just, let's just see. And, and then like seeing like, and hearing messages or TikToks about like people feeling like they got so much from it or like their life was saved by like hearing something that you said, like, how does that make you feel? Um,
And like sort of like what responsibility now do you think you have in the content you're making and in what you're doing for your life? I kind of...
Have always done this thing where when I first started talking about mental health on on TikTok, I think is where it's I mean, it started back like when I was teaching yoga classes, but that's in a small scale. That's with like 10 to 15 people. And it feels super personal. And I'm not worried about judgment or anything like that. But bringing that to TikTok, bringing that to the Internet, that can be such a cruel place sometimes.
it was scary. So I just had to convince myself that no one was watching. Like I didn't, I honestly didn't have a problem with random people hearing what I was struggling with. I had a problem with people from high school hearing what I was struggling with or going through or like my parents. And it still gives me this anxiety. And I like, don't really like to think about the people close to me in my life, listening to me being vulnerable. But I also have learned that being vulnerable is the most powerful thing. One Ted talk I watched it like
totally shifted everything for me was Brene Brown's The Power of Vulnerability. And I have a book. I haven't started it, but I want to. It's taught me that it's literally okay to feel all of these things. And then I just kind of
Right.
when they're just hiding behind a screen. But I've learned to kind of have sympathy for those people and just understand that some people can just be bitter because they're hurting on their own. Like that was me in middle school and something that I faced and it's something that everyone's going to work through when they're ready to work through it. But
It's just been inspiring to see the reaction and see the response. And I'm sure it's very similar for you guys. It's motivating to keep doing what you're doing and to keep helping more people and reaching more people. And not just to reach more people, but to help people understand that it's all good. Totally, yeah. I think for me, I found...
of course, it's like always harder to talk to like the people closest to and it's actually a lot easier to do it on a podcast. And then if they listen, then that's how they could hear about it too. But you know, it's almost funnier, like people that come on the show, they're like, yeah, like, I can say a lot of stuff on here that like, I haven't said to like my closest friends or my family or like my significant other. And I think
It's just a funny thing about like vulnerability of just like it's so hard to do with the people closest to you. And it's like this like weird thing. I'm curious now, like thinking about the future and like I know you, you know, you do a lot of writing and like how are you thinking about like the different things you do is the goal all really around this purpose of like talking about mental health, spreading the positivity in different mediums and channels and that sort of thing.
I would say the goal is always going to stay the same. The passion is always going to be to just help people feel understood and help people feel capable of accomplishing their dreams. And I consider myself to have this squirrel brain. So I have like dreams and ideas and like the list goes on and on and on. And I struggle with really bad ADHD.
So like I start things, I don't finish them. I can't focus half the time, but at the same time that it's something I struggle with so deeply, it's also my superpower. And I think that that's where all my creative ideas come from. So I'm grateful for it more than anything. But right now I'm kind of super tuned in on writing because when I write, I've learned that I discover all these feelings that I've been holding in my subconscious mind, whether like
I just haven't been able to understand them or feel them or talk about them. When I write, all these things come out on paper and I'm like, holy crap, Lexi, like that's kind of deep. You should probably work through that, you know? And it's just been such a powerful outlet for me. And I want to eventually like have a journal, create a guided journal because I know it can help so many people understand those feelings and those emotions because as humans, we're kind of, since we've been,
little been conditioned to just, you know, feel better, do better. It's what the older generation teaches us because they don't know anything about mental health. They just said, get over it. Like you're being too sensitive. But I think that when we can understand ourselves at such a young age and figure out why we feel what we feel, I do think it's going to help this generation because we won't face these crises when we're older, I guess. I don't know. It's just cool to be able to understand your emotions, have awareness of your problems, learn how to work through them.
while we're still young and I think that journaling has just been the coolest way to do so for me lately and I think that everyone should do it more totally I always talk about that like I feel like I could do it more and I talk about in therapy and I I forget sometimes but every time I do it it does help me a lot but yeah so knowing that we definitely got to send you some journals yeah and it's
Totally okay to forget. Like there's times where I'll notice in my life, I will be journaling multiple times a day, just having like random ideas come through my head. I'm like, you know what? I should write about that. And then there's other phases of my life where I won't touch it for weeks, sometimes months. And I'll go back to it and be like, you know what? Maybe I needed that break from understanding myself so well. I don't know how to explain it, but it's normal to be a phase and in and out of it, but it's still super powerful. And I know you just said that you started therapy recently. So did I, but
but I freaking love therapy. You could talk about it all day. How would you say, like one word to describe your experience with it so far, what would it be? Very eyeopening, I would say for me, I think like I've always been someone who, you know, I felt like I understood like myself or like what was going on or like the awareness piece. And I think like the best part about therapy is actually like saying like, Oh, you actually have not considered all of these things and kind of
kind of try to show you know you're a good therapist will try to show you like the things in your life that like you're ignoring or trying to not accept as true but only if you accept those things as true can you really like grow as a person and move on and you got to admit you have a problem so start fixing yeah therapy's similar to that and and it's not even like that everything's a problem but it's like thinking about how different experiences in your life could shape
you know, how you do things, certain behaviors, certain ways of thinking things about today where like you kind of repress those memories or like you're like, oh, that didn't have an effect on me. Like for me, like obviously like moving to the U.S., not speaking English, feeling like left out, like all that stuff obviously has an impact on who I am today, whether I, you know, admit that or not or think about that or not. And so I think in that way it's been really helpful. What about you?
I, well, I started going to therapy. I was one of those people in high school where if you told me how to go to therapy, I would have thought it was weak. Like I, I considered me in high school to be a lot more closed minded than I am now. Like I was just, I believed in stereotypes, all that stuff. I,
Thought therapy was for weak people, people who had problems, yada, yada, yada. And then I went to college, started feeling these things again and started to actually open my mind to therapy. My roommate was in therapy. She loved it. I was like, hmm, maybe I should go. Avoided it for a couple of years. And then I finally was like having a really hard time with my focus. Like my work was evolving in a way that I couldn't keep up with. And since, you know, I guess I would say I'm self-employed. I have to discipline myself. I have to
time manage. And that is something that I really struggled with, with my inability to focus. But I also didn't want to look into medication or anything like that because it was also my superpower. One of those things where I was just facing this conflict. I was like, you know what? I think now's the time for me to talk to someone about it because I would love to talk to someone who actually understands it and can give me an unbiased opinion on what they think. And went to therapy for the first time.
It was another one of those situations like that first yoga class was for me. I'm like, oh, this is freaking awesome. Like this is, this is life changing. It's mind opening. And it's just been a really cool journey to be able to go and talk to someone on biased opinion again about what's going on in my life, what I'm feeling and be able to learn from them and be able to just feel a little bit better each and every time. And now I kind of look at therapy as like,
You know, like the class that you enjoy going to, like I think back to high school, you would get invited for like fifth hour. And that's kind of what therapy is for me. Like every time I have time in my week to schedule an appointment, I'm like, oh, let's go. Like I'm so pumped. And it's crazy. It can still have such a negative stigma to so many people, but yeah.
it is really freaking awesome and it's powerful and you don't have to be hurting or struggling to go to therapy. That's another huge thing that I learned. Like I thought I had to be sad or I had to be having a depressive episode to go, but like, no, I still go to therapy when I'm at my highest of highs, like when I'm happy. Like,
Just because I'm going to learn something about myself and just talking to people is awesome. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
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For sure. Yeah. And I think one other thing with therapy for me has been like, just like that time, it's hard to make that time for yourself. Like you said, you do with journaling and stuff. And I think just pulling yourself out of like your day to day, even just like that hour is very helpful, even without like the therapy portion part of it. I'm curious for you, you know, you put
put out a good amount of content? Like, do you feel like, you know, what sorts of like pressures do you feel, I guess, in that, like, you know, you have this responsibility, you feel like you want to keep doing what you're doing. But also at times, I'm sure that feels like, damn, like, I want to just like skip this week. Like, you know, how do you deal with that piece of it? That's a huge one for me. And I think that that's one that I
I'm constantly going to be learning how to figure out and how to work through. I have a really hard time balancing work and life because in a way, my life is my work and my work is my life at the same time. So I love being able to constantly put out content, whether it's making TikToks, taking pictures. Photography is another thing that I love so much, which is super cool to be doing what it is that I'm doing right now. But it's almost...
Like I sometimes forget how to just be there for myself. And even now, since I talk about mental health, since I talk about vulnerability, I almost talk about everything that I'm going through so consistently that I'm taking away from it actually being my self-care time. I don't know how to make that make sense, but almost everything that I do now I've started putting out. And I think that that's super awesome. And honestly, I'm really grateful for it, but I have been trying to
Yeah.
Yeah, no, for sure. I think like when the mesh is so clear, then like it's hard to like know like, is this me or is this me because it's going out or whatever and those things and like it could stop you from like doing certain things or sharing certain things or writing certain things because you know you're going to share it. What is that in my journal? Like I'll be writing a really good, whether it's like a poem or just a piece, I'll be writing it. I'm like, oh, this would be really cool to post like on my, I don't know whether it's read it on my TikTok or put it on an Instagram post.
but then I'll avoid writing certain things in it because I'm like, well, I can't tell people that. And obviously some things are still going to be too personal to put on the internet. You know, you can't put every second of life online, but yeah,
It's definitely a challenge sometimes. But again, there's always going to be challenges. Just got to work through them one at a time. Two questions we ask everyone is one is like, who's one person that like you would nominate to come on the show that like you've heard their story, whether you know them or not. And it's been like really inspirational to you in your journey. See, this one's hard because there's so many people that I look up to and have taught me
different things. And that's one of the most valuable lessons I've learned in life is that everyone can teach you something and everyone can inspire you. I recently discovered that one. I don't know why it, it,
it just clicked. But you know, one person I watched a, I think it was a video podcast of him and like, maybe it was like Logan Paul. I don't know who it was, but Charlie rocket. He has like this dream machine. I watched maybe a year and a half ago, two years ago. And just the way that he talked and the way that he believed in himself. And now what he's doing is even cooler. He's just helping people every single day. I think that's freaking awesome. But yeah,
He has inspired me to just keep going and keep chasing my dreams. And then obviously, you know, there's my mom, there's my best friends. They, you know,
People, there are two people who have just believed in me along every step of the way. And I mean, I'm just forever grateful for them. But I don't know. It's a hard one. Yeah, no, that's a good one. Because there's so many people. Yeah, so many. Charlie, we've kind of gotten to know each other on Instagram recently and watching what they're doing. Super awesome. So definitely a great one. And then the final question we ask everyone is, Lexi, what makes you mad happy?
What makes me mad happy? Dang, so many things. Food. I love food. I feel like that's a simple one. But also being able to be with my family.
Being in nature, like I love to go on road trips. So whenever I go on a road trip, I make sure I go to a national park and I'm obsessed with national parks because you'll go on this and you'll be on this mountain and it's just this massive mountain. You kind of just usually have no service. You kind of just sit there and you're like, oh, wow, I'm really just like an ant living on this rock that's floating in this galaxy that's in the
universe. However, the statistics of it work, it kind of just puts into perspective for me that some of the things that are weighing on me so heavy don't need to be weighing on me so heavy. You know, I can just kind of let them go. Like I'm just here to experience this human experience every step of the way. And I don't know, I think that that is when I feel the most mad happy and the most at peace with life. I want to know your mad happy moment.
Wow, good one. A lot of people flip it on me, so I have to have a different answer every time.
So right before we started the brand, I was going through like a really hard time because I had gotten sick and I had left New York and then it had like led to this like amazing moment of starting Mad Happy. And like during it, I wouldn't have known that. And then for the last five or six years, like I had been feeling like great overall, like of course, like ups and downs. But then this year over the past, like, you know, maybe like June through September, it was just like a really hard time for me. I think like a lot of like the last five years caught up to me and
And just was dealing with some like really challenging things and like feeling more down than I have in five plus years. And it was really hard for me because, you know, externally, like, you know, the brand was going well and all this all this sort of stuff. But I just like wasn't feeling good.
And I think I realized, you know, whenever I am in those moments, I feel so much more grateful for like all like the little things like my parents or my girlfriend or my friends or my brother or my, you know, partners in this company and everything I have. And I think I am generally like a grateful person. And, you know, I never like need too many things, all that stuff. But
it's so funny how like people say like when you're sick like all you want to like not be a sick and then when you're not sick you want so many things but like the same thing of like when you're feeling depressed or down like you're like so happy with just like the basic things of just like oh like I have friends and they're amazing or I have a girlfriend and she's amazing or all these things and
And so going through that time and then now feeling like I'm coming out of it and feeling a lot better, like it's it's like hanging on to those things. And like, that's really what life's about. And that's what makes me happy. That's freaking awesome. No, it's scary when like you kind of you feel like you've been at this really good point for a while and then it kind of.
catches up to you all at once and you just feel this like heavy, this overwhelm and this stress and things that usually like wouldn't bother you at all. Just like I get super irritable when I'm going through it. Like when I'm in a funk, everything just makes me angry in a way. But I think it's just my deep rooted sadness just comes out as anger. But it's so cool that it's just this cycle. You know, you have to have the lows to have highs and one wouldn't exist without the other. And
it's cool. It's a really cool thing. That's what Mad Happy is all about, you know. But Lexi, thank you so much for coming on. I'm very inspired by what you're doing. So please keep it up. Would love to do this. And right back at you. Yeah, would love to do this on your podcast if you'll have us. But either way, keep doing what you're doing. Would love to have you come by the office next time you're in LA and just keep it all up. But thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. And thank you so much for having me. We'll definitely do this again soon. All right. Talk soon, everyone.
Thank you all so much for listening. As always, it means so much to us. We would love for you to subscribe. Leave us five stars on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast. Check out Lexi's show, Moments Pod, and let us know who you want to hear from next. Peace. The Mad Happy Podcast is brought to you by Optimism.