6: Moments in the Happening
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What is up, you guys? Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. What are we on? Episode six right now? I think so. Wow. Six episodes in a row. I'm pretty impressed. Anyways, I've missed you guys. I feel like I haven't recorded in a while, even though it's been a week like it normally is. I don't know. So much has happened in a week, and I think it just makes it feel like so much more time has gone on. But today's episode is special.

I'm finally telling you guys the story of what the heck happened to me like a month ago. Was it a month ago? I don't really know when it was. Now, I want to keep this story pretty upbeat because it's kind of a sad story, honestly, but everything has worked itself out. Everything kind of happened for a reason, so there's no reason for me to get upset about it, but I do want to kind of take you guys through the lessons that I learned on this little journey that I went through. And I

I haven't actually decided what I'm going to call this episode. It's either going to be moments in your dreams getting crushed, but I don't think I want to stick with that one, or moments in the happening. I think I'm going to go with moments in the happening because it just has a better ring to it and it just works. Now, I should probably tell you guys where I'm recording this episode, but I'm not going to tell you until the end. You're going to have to wait and see.

Talking about moments in the happening is always interesting because it's always this weird feeling when you don't know exactly why something's happening and you're kind of just forced to trust that it's happening for a reason. For so long, when I would be in the happening, I would constantly just be like, oh, there's no reason this is happening. I'm not going to gain anything from this. I'm not going to learn anything from this. And then...

Days down the road or months down the road or years from the road, I always end up learning something from it or gaining something from it or the full circle moment just closes. And it's really freaking cool. I don't know if all of you guys listened to episode one, but if you didn't listen to episode one, let me explain to you what the happening is. Because if you don't know, you're probably like, girl, what are you talking about?

A really good friend of mine told me about this little phrase. She's like, you know the phrase, everything happens for a reason? I'm like, yeah, it's actually my favorite phrase. I know it's cheesy, but I literally use it all the time. And she continues and says...

you know when something happens and you can't really find the reason and you can't figure out why it happened? I'm like, yeah. She's like, that's because you're still in the happening. And ever since then, it's kind of just stuck with me and I use it in so many different parts of my life and so many different aspects of my life. And I've really just held on to it. And I want you guys to hold on to it too.

And also, before I forget, if you guys want to go rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and follow it on Spotify, that would make me very, very happy. And leave a review if you want. I would really love it if you did. You're the best ever. And if you want to catch up on past episodes, feel free to go do that. But I'm going to go ahead and get into this story. Also, I'm sure you guys know by now when it comes to me and storytelling, it's a little bit all over the place. So I'm going to try to make this as easy as possible to follow.

I really am. You know, I'm going to do my best and I'm also going to make a YouTube video kind of all about this situation. So be on the lookout for that. I'm not sure when it'll be ready, but I'm going to do my best to make it soon because I'm excited to share this story. Okay, let's backtrack to about two months ago, maybe, maybe two months ago. Actually, in August, I

did this little journal exercise where I wrote a journal entry, pretended like it was the present tense, but it was a year from now. So I basically wrote like all my dreams had already come true. And in this little journal entry, I mentioned that I had a van because I've always wanted a van. I've always wanted to travel the country. I just think that van life is one of the coolest things ever because

And living in a small little space out in such a big open area is such a cool concept to me and it's something I've always loved. So in my dreams, I have a van. But I'm not at a point in my life where I can be online searching for a van or really putting in the work to find a van. But I knew and I know that I wanted one.

So just keep that in mind. Now fast forward to two months ago. I happen to find myself tapping through my Instagram stories. You know, not one of those taps where you kind of just watch your favorite people's stories. It's like I am deep in the social media hole and I am tap, tap, tap, tapping away and I'm watching everyone I follow's stories. And I come across this one story.

from someone who I have mutual friends with in Hawaii. And I'm watching his story, he's like selling his bike, he's selling a couple different things, and he's also selling his van. Immediately, my first reaction, before I even tap to the next story to see what the van actually looks like, I swipe up. I'm like, "Oh my gosh, there's no way you're selling your van. I want a van." And I send it to my mom, I send it to my best friend, Lisette, and I'm like, "Guys, I'm gonna get this van." Of course they called me crazy. Everyone calls me crazy.

Especially when out of nowhere I'm like, I'm going to buy a van. I tend to have this impulsive part of my mind where if it feels right, I just kind of do it and I don't really think twice about it. So no one believes me at first when I tell them I'm going to buy a van that my friend's selling on his Instagram story. And no one's really in support of it either except my mom. She knows I'm crazy like this because she raised me.

And my dad, on the other hand, is like, absolutely not. You don't even know anything about it. You're not buying a van. You're not buying a van from that year. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just doing the dad thing. You know, being a dad and making sure I'm actually taking, you know, the right steps when it comes to buying something this serious. As he should. My mom, on the other hand, was in full support. I swipe up on the story. I ask him selling it for all the details.

He sends me everything I need to know. I mean, paragraphs on paragraphs of everything about this van, everywhere it's been, everything it does. And I'm like, this is the one. This is the van that I want. This is my dreams are going to come true and I'm going to buy this van. Keep in mind, I've been saving up my money for a while now because eventually I want to buy a house and, you know, just have money in my savings so that it's not something I have to be too worried about.

But I told myself, you know, instead of a house, why don't I just buy a van? You know, it's like a house on wheels. Which, to be fair, it is kind of like a house on wheels. For a little bit more backstory, or just a little bit more about the van, it's a 2005 van. But it is fully built out. I mean, there's a sink, there's a kitchen, there's a little stove burner, there's a fridge, a refrigerator...

I just said refrigerator twice, but you guys know I meant a fridge and a freezer. There's a bed, there's a desk, there's a TV, shelves, cabinets, and it used to be a FedEx delivery truck. So there's actually a door between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat that like locks shut. So it just makes you feel very, very safe in here, which is one of the things I really loved about it.

Besides everything I I literally fell in love with this van I made a shared album on my phone to share with my mom to share with my friends I was constantly telling people about it sending pictures. You could ask all of my friends. They probably Don't ever want to hear me say the word van again too bad They're gonna have to at this point. It's been Maybe a week or two maybe a week. Let's say a week and

talking to him about the van, sending voice memos, being on the phone, figuring out if this was a good fit, if this was something that could work out. And I took a leap of faith. You know, I really, really trusted that this was the right decision for me to make. And I said yes. I put down a deposit on the van. I planned out a trip with my mom to fully drop everything, fly out to California, and then drive the van back from California to Florida. Which

is not a light trip. That is not an easy trip to take. That is a full cross-country road trip that is 3,000 miles. And I wouldn't have thought this was a good idea if my mom and I haven't been on so many road trips recently, but I like to think we're pros. I really think that we are pretty, pretty solid road trippers.

Actually, quick little fill-in right here. We had recorded a whole entire episode while we were driving in the car on our most recent road trip, and it was so funny because we were delusional. It was basically midnight, and that's the episode I was going to upload this Monday, today, but I went to go send the audio file, and the whole audio was broken. You couldn't hear anything at all, and it was such a bummer because it would have been great, but you know what? It's okay. I'm here now. I'm recording this.

And you're getting the story time. You finally, I finally, guys, I'm actually so sorry that I kept this such a secret for so long. I didn't even know what was going on. You'll understand why soon. My mom and I plan out this trip. All right, we're going to California. We're meeting him there. And then we're driving this van home, all the way home. I don't know anything about campsites. I don't know anything about van life. But I know that we're doing it. We're fully just sending it across the country.

So we set out a couple weeks ago. It was October 19th, actually. So almost a month ago. At this point, my dad thinks I'm crazy. My mom also thinks I'm crazy, but she's stuck coming along for the ride. As usual, none of this would have been possible without her, so I'm very grateful that she wanted to come on this trip with me and she trusted me and believed in me. And she was by my side the whole time. And so it begins.

We get to the airport. We land in California. We are just so beyond excited. We're planning how we're going to decorate it, what we're going to do with it, where we're going to take it, everything. And it pulls up. The van pulls up.

Literally, neither of us can stop smiling. We are so, so, so happy, so excited to drive it. A little bit terrified to drive, you know, a van, a massive van across the country. But cheers to stepping out of your comfort zone. So our friend we're buying the van from picks us up in the airport in the van. So we're both sitting in the van. We drive back to his house. He gives us the whole rundown for a couple hours on everything we need to know about the van. And then we're like,

everything to know about the solar power, the water, the driving, the storage, how to do everything. We know it all at this point and we're basically pros. So we pass over the cashier's check. The deed is done. We get in the car and we start driving. I don't drive the van at first. I let my mom do it just because, I don't know, I trusted her. She's older than me.

We're freaking out a little bit, but we're mostly excited. We both get in the car and we're like, what did we just do? Did we just buy a van? Did we, did that really just happen? And during all of this is when I'm starting to give you guys hints about what I got. Like I told you all that I bought something, but I didn't tell you what. I just was like posting little hints and little pictures on my story. And a lot of you figured it out. And I just loved it. I loved it so much. I

I had so many huge plans, so many great ideas, and I was so ready to make it all come to life. But before we could really get this van on the road and do everything we wanted to do with it, we had to go spend a day in LA, which was about three hours away, not even three hours, like an hour away from where we were staying at the time. So the van was off on its first trek. We have to go to LA.

because I had a few work meetings the next day and I wanted to be in a hotel just because I needed some space to actually get ready for, you know, business stuff versus just the van that we hadn't slept in yet. First lesson we learned is that it's very hard to drive a van and find parking in a city like Los Angeles. It's also hard to find a hotel because a lot of hotels have parking garages and this van is very tall. It does not fit in parking garages.

It's also not like we booked this hotel ahead of time. I'm last minute. I don't do things very prepared. So we just kind of drove around and tried to find one. Eventually, we found a hotel that we booked on Expedia and we got there to check in. And she goes, oh, your reservation's actually for like Thursday. It was a Tuesday. I was like, oh, lovely. That is so, so, so awesome.

But they had a room, they got us in, and we had to go find street parking with the van. And thank God we found a spot that was so close to the hotel and we could walk and we could get there with our suitcases. We got into the hotel, we got a good night's sleep. My mom and I finally got in bed after what felt like the longest day ever.

because keep in mind, California is three hours behind Florida time. So we had been up since 5 a.m. Florida time and didn't go to bed until maybe 11 or 12 California time. It was just a long day. We were exhausted. So the whole next day of the trip, we spent the day kind of in L.A. walking around, doing some shopping. I had some meetings and then it was time to get on the road. It was time to really get on the road.

So the plan for this day, the rest of this day, was to get to Joshua Tree, California, which is not outside of California, but it's close to the edge. It's way further east than where we were at. We had a little bit of a drive ahead of us, so we took off. We're driving, you know, getting excited. My mom goes, oh my gosh, let's go to Walmart. Let's go get stuff so we can like cook breakfast tomorrow and we can take videos and, you know,

do the whole van thing. We can unpack, we can put all our stuff away. We can get a French press coffee maker. And I was all in, I was fully on board. So we stop at Walmart, we get all of our ingredients. We got like oatmeal. We got that shake and pour pancake mix. We got fruit.

We got a French press. We got a little pumpkin scent thing so it would smell good in here. And we had this whole plan. I figured out where we were going to pick out our campsite. I figured out all the van apps, how to drive a van, where to stay along the trip. And we got back in the car after Walmart. We had all our groceries. We got some dinner. And we were off to get to Joshua Tree, our campsite. And as usual, my mom and I have learned on every single road trip that

not to drive at night, that it's not a good idea to drive at night, and it literally terrifies us, yet somehow it happens every single time, and we end up driving at night every single trip. And now it's nighttime. In the van. All is going well. Everything is smooth sailing. We're having no issues at all. We're about 45 minutes away from

We both have service on our phones until we don't. Suddenly, there's a little spot we go through that we don't have service, which is okay because our map still works if we don't have service as long as we don't end the route, whatever you want to call it, as long as we don't end it. Obviously, I get a little bit spooked when our phones go out of service and we're in a new place in the middle of nowhere. No worries, though. Our service comes back. It comes back. We're all good. And we start going up this little hill, you know,

Nothing crazy. At least it doesn't seem crazy. It's nighttime. We don't even really realize that we're on a hill. We just kind of feel it because when you're in a big and heavy car, you can feel when you're going uphill and when you have to give it a little bit more power. Now, I wish you guys could understand how funny it is to see my mom and I in...

like a scary or a dangerous situation, we both try to keep each other calm by just not even addressing what's going on. Obviously, I take my camera out when things start to get weird. So this is when everything kind of does a full 180. We go from like the happiest people ever to what the heck just happened.

Suddenly my mom looks over at me. She's still driving and she's like, oh, that's weird. The temperature gauge goes up way further than it normally sits at. And especially in a van this big going uphill, you don't want it to be that high. So she kind of looks at me. She's like, should we pull over? We can't pull over right where we are. We're still going up this hill.

And it's not like there even was a place to pull over. We're basically on a cliff going up a hill. There's no shoulder to pull over and there's a railing, but on the other side of that railing, it literally drops down.

completely drops down. So I start freaking out just a little bit and so does she, but we don't make that known. We stay so calm. You know, we're talking it out. We're like, okay. I go, mom, it looks like there's a stoplight like two miles ahead or a mile ahead. I see lights. You know, I see civilization. Let's just get there.

She's like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. We keep going. This all happens in a span of like a minute and a half, but it really felt so long. It was just spooky. It was actually a little bit traumatizing thinking back on it, but we're talking it out. I go get up there. Just, just get to the civilization, get to the lights, get off of this cliff. And she goes, oh, it went back down.

I go, okay, that was weird. I wonder why I did that. And now at this point, you know, we think everything is back to normal. We're laughing like, oh, that was a panic attack for no reason. I'm glad it's back to normal. It's back to normal. All of a sudden, the lights turn off. The lights in the car completely turn off.

mind you it is pitch black outside pitch black there's not street lights yet no civilization we have no idea where we are we just got our service back we're still 30 minutes from where we're staying and the freaking lights in the car just turn off so she turns them back on i go mom did you just like turn those off on accident she goes no it's like okay that's weird

And she goes, oh, maybe the car turned off. I'm like, mom, that doesn't happen. That's not supposed to happen. So we keep driving another, you know, 10 seconds go by. All of a sudden, she kind of looks over. She goes, the gas is not even working. We were only moving because we were going downhill at this point. And the gas of the car is literally not working. Thank God. Thank God that the brakes worked. And we finally were able to pull over. We're still not in civilization. We're still...

a decent amount away, but I can at least see streetlights and stoplights, and I see, like, this hotel that's at an intersection a little ways ahead of us. But we pull over. I'm like, should we evaluate what just happened? Should we call him and, like, ask if this is, like, what just happened? And she's like, yeah, yeah, let's, uh...

Before she can even get her sentence out, I go, mom, the car is smoking. She goes, what? I go, mom, the car is smoking. Literally smoke coming from the hood of the car. So much smoke, literally losing my mind at this point. But pretending I'm not, I'm just laughing. She's like, get the suitcases out of the car and just back off. Like we need to get out of the car right now.

Guys, I have never been in a car when it breaks down. So I was scared. I was terrified. I didn't know if this thing was going to blow up. It's also not like a car that I had built a good relationship with and I know that it's not going to blow up. For all I knew, this thing was going to blow up in like 0.2 seconds and we were going to have to watch it happen in the middle of absolutely nowhere, California. Yeah, two hours in, half of a gas tank in to our trip.

We're broken down on the side of the road. This definitely changed the mood. This definitely changed the vibe of buying my dream van and driving it across the country. But we had no other choice at the time than to just figure it out and figure out what the next step was. So we called him. We asked what was up. We kind of figured out that it had something to do with the coolant, and it was just because...

The coolant was leaking from the bottom of the van. I'm not super good with cars. I don't know if any of us are super good with cars, so we don't need to go into too much detail about what was wrong with it. But we knew we had to get it towed because the car wouldn't even start at this point. And there was nowhere for us to get it. Now, the issue with getting it towed somewhere is since we just got the van, we had just gotten the insurance on the van that day.

So it hadn't fully transferred over. So trying to get the towing company to come to us through the insurance, we were on hold with State Farm and the towing company for like two hours. We broke down around 830 at night. We didn't get somewhere safely until it was after midnight.

I do want to take a second, though, to be very grateful for where we ended up being able to pull over. Thank God that the van kept working down that hill and past that cliff and got us to somewhere where there was a shoulder to pull over in.

Now, it was barely a shoulder and every time a car drove past us, we felt the whole van move. You know when a car just flies past you and they're so close to you that you like feel this gust of air through the car? That's kind of what it was like. But we were safe and no one hit us and things could have been a lot worse. And I'm just grateful that we're still here and that us and the van are okay.

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So eventually we get the towing company. We finally get in touch with them. They finally come pick us up and we're super reassured because the tow truck driver has his wife with him in the car. And I don't know, it just made us feel very safe. Like it made us feel okay. We're in the middle of nowhere. We're two young girls. She's not young, but she's not, you know what I mean? You know what I'm going for. And we just wanted to be safe. We wanted to like take precaution and

So we were glad that he had his wife with him. And originally, we put in our tow destination to Walmart because there happened to be a Walmart like five miles down the road and it had an auto center. Obviously, they weren't going to be able to fix what was really going on with the car because they only do oil changes and tire fills.

But legally you're allowed to camp out at Walmart. So we were like, okay, we'll just go there because we have the van. We can sleep in the van at Walmart. Tow guy gets here and he's like, no, you guys do not want to go to Walmart for a lot of different reasons. One, because it's really not that safe. And two, because they're not going to be able to help us tomorrow and you're just going to have to get towed again, especially if the van doesn't start.

He goes, we have one dealership here and it happens to be a Dodge dealership. Keep in mind, this is a Dodge Sprinter van. He goes, I'm going to take you guys there. I'm going to leave you in the service department and you're going to sleep there. And when you wake up tomorrow, go in and they'll be able to help you.

We drive 20 minutes down the road to get to this Dodge service center. He literally drops the van in the service tunnel, the tunnel that people normally drive through to get service done on their car. And it's 1 a.m. at this point. My mom and I have never slept in the van, but we feel like days have gone by. We feel like we live in this van at this point just because it had been such a long day. And now we're set with the mission to sleep in it.

The first time we got to sleep in the van, we were in the Dodge service center. It was not ideal. It really wasn't. But we had fun with it, you know? The next morning, we had to wake up at like 5 a.m. because people were going to start coming to work and we were just squatting in the parking lot. We were just living in the parking lot.

And we didn't want anyone who works there to get there and, like, call the cops or something. I don't know. So we had to be up very early. My mom was up very early. And the second she saw someone walked in, she goes into the service center. She goes up to the lady. She gives them the whole rundown on our story. And the lady's like, we don't normally work on cars this old, nor vans that size.

And the lady goes, but you know what? You guys are literally stuck here. We have to. And she was so, so, so sweet. Everyone we met at that service center was like an angel. Everyone was looking out for us. Everyone was just, it was just nice to feel safe in a situation like that, especially when you're somewhere you've never been before in something new with just your mom.

At this point, we have no idea what's wrong with the van. They take it back. It won't even start. They have to jumpstart it to get it into the area where they have and they're working on all the cars, the garage, I guess. And we're just sitting there and sitting there and waiting for someone to come back and give us an update. We ended up spending the whole entire day at the Dodge Service Center before we could move on. And we had also been trying to get in touch with the person we bought the van from, but he is on a different time zone, like a very different time zone from

That's a whole other story that just made all the pieces of this puzzle more difficult. But we couldn't get in touch with him until like 3 p.m. And around 3 p.m., we finally get the update on what is wrong with the van. And the guy, Carlos, who is like the sweetest guy ever. He has, you know, a family. He's got a wife and kids. He comes in. He's like, do you guys buy this thing? He just kind of continues to say that this is not something that's safe to drive from California to Florida at all.

And literally crushes my dreams right in front of me, right in front of my face. I just feel my whole world just crumble. And I don't handle emotions very well. So I just kind of laughed and I was like, okay, everything happens for a reason, blah, blah, blah. I try to stay very positive in these situations, even though deep down I know how much I'm hurting.

And that was the point that I realized, okay, I'm in the happening. This one's going to hurt. This one's going to suck. I've told everyone I love about this van and how excited I am for it. I've told all of you guys at this point. And now what do I do? What do I say? Oh, just like, never mind. Never mind. Yeah, it hurt.

It definitely wasn't what I was expecting. I wanted it to be something simple, something easy, that it was just going to be a quick little fix and we were going to be on our way again. Obviously, I wanted to make sure it was really, really checked out because I would be terrified for that to have happened again. Like, I was a little bit traumatized from breaking down. But at this point, it had happened. There was nothing I could do to change the past. We just had to move forward. We finally got in touch with the person I bought the van from.

At first, you know, it was all in like, okay, you didn't even drive it out of the state of California. It's been less than two days. It was less than half a tank of gas. Bring the van back to my aunt's house and I'll give your money back. So we were like, okay, sounds good. This freaking sucks. And we're going to need to figure out a way to get home still. But that's what we needed to do. That felt like the right thing to do at the time was to give this van back.

because the cost of repairs, the hours of fixing was going to be a lot, making it not even worth it to try to keep this van. The dealership people also told us, okay, it's going to be like at least a week until all the parts even come in to really fix this van to make it safe to drive. And my mom and I both work constantly. We couldn't just wait out in California for the van to be fixed. We couldn't go home and then come back. Like we have

a lot of real things to do. This was the only time that we could make it work for us to drive this van from California to Florida. So at the time, what felt fitting was to give the van back, get my money back, and figure out a way to get home. Meanwhile, we also didn't just want to go home and cry about it. We're like, we are still going to make a trip of this just because everything sucks right now and it really feels like the world is out to get us. We're going to make the best of this trip.

We're not going to let this little slip up ruin it for us. So we are still at the Dodge Service Center. We get the van towed back to the aunt's house, which is about three hours away. We book this whole entire trip. We rent a car, which is impossible to do because there is currently like a rental car shortage in the U.S. or everywhere. Not really sure.

So anyways, it's going to cost us a fortune to get back home. But at this point, I am so set on like, I don't care. I'm making the best of this trip and I am still going to do what I came out here to do, which is just experience new places and travel. And I don't want to go home and just be sad.

So that's really that. At this point, my entire dream of having a van feels crushed. My mom is so much more crushed than I am. I think she built an attachment faster than I did because I couldn't even say the word van without her crying. It was so cute. We're past that now. Now there's no more tears when either of us say the word van. But we start our road trip, you know, we're driving and the plan is now to drive from California to Texas and then fly from Texas to Florida.

But now we have a lot more to figure out. And this whole road trip of driving home, still making the best of it, still doing everything we can to make this amazing, we're dealing with this van and what the heck is going to happen. And at this point, I was set on the fact that this van didn't belong to me. The universe didn't want me to have it. It was not meant to be. And I'm learning to accept that. And then I'm being told that I have to accept that

This fan does want me, and I do want this fan. I don't really know. It was an entire emotional roller coaster that was very hard to process. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Anyways, trip goes on. We get home. We're back home. We're on phone calls back and forth with the kid we bought the van from.

And eventually we realized we're not getting our money back, even though it's what I kind of wanted to do at the time. That wasn't what was going to happen because they took the van to a different mechanic in a different part of California. And that mechanic said, oh, it was a 30 minute fix, a $10 part. The van is good to drive. So these two diagnoses, you could say that we got in the van were completely opposite sides of the spectrum.

So you can understand why there was a little bit of like confusion and mix up and what the heck and how do we move forward with this. Long story short, it all comes down to the fact that this van is getting shipped back to us and I have this van now. And I'm sitting in this van right now. And at first, it caused me a lot of stress. It caused me a lot of anxiety. Literally cried to my therapist because I was...

maybe I just had some PTSD of this fan and everything it had put put through like my mental health and just fear that it instilled in me and the other part of me where I'm at now is I've fully gone back to everything happens for a reason I want this fan I know that I can do amazing things with it I know that I can create something incredible and it is meant to be

I just had to be tested a little bit. I had to put in the work and that's okay. And I don't know what the next step is. I don't know where I'm going to take it, but I do know it's going to be my recording studio for a little bit and I'm going to decorate it and I'm going to make it feel like home and I'm going to paint it and I am going to make the absolute best out of this and I am so excited for the opportunity to even have a van. And I know I just gave you guys a really, really long story.

But I think the whole moral of it is just to remind you that everything happens for a reason and there's going to be moments when you're in the happening and you're so scared and you're so worried and you don't know what's next. But before you know it, that fear will be gone. That stress will be gone and you'll feel like you are exactly where you need to be and the circle will close. You just have to be patient. Time heals everything.

everything. And I know that this episode was a little bit different than my usual ones, but I really wanted to just share that full story with you guys because I felt so bad about keeping it a secret for so long. I promise it's not what I wanted to do. I just didn't even know what was going on and I didn't even know how to start processing it to tell it to you guys. So that's what I did.

And here we are. And the van's name is Mater. And Mater's going to be around for a while. And Mater's going to become a very big part of my life. I can't wait to give you guys a tour. I think that you're going to love him or her. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. I think it's a boy. And I have a really good feeling about the next chapter of my life.

I'm really excited to share it with you guys, and I'm so glad that you could listen to this episode, even though it was probably a whirlwind and a rollercoaster, and I don't even know if I made any sense. But I hope you guys are smiling. I'm so excited to record next week's episode. I'm not sure what it's going to be yet, so if you want to DM me some suggestions, I'm totally open to them. Do not forget to go...

rate, leave a review and do all that stuff. You know, follow on Spotify. You guys are the best. I love you and I appreciate you so, so, so much more than you will ever know. I still can't believe we're recording a podcast, but I hope you're smiling and I will talk to you guys next Monday. Goodbye.