81: Stopping the breakdown before it hits
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Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the moments podcast. I When is the last time I recorded? I don't really know I have been so last minute with recording and it's been so frustrating because When it comes to this podcast, I really only like to sit down and record and i'm sure i've talked about this before Like I always do I really like to be in the right headspace to like sit down and talk about certain things Especially if they're heavy or if they're deep or if it's about a specific topic

I like to know what I'm talking about. And my brain only has days that it wants to work every so often. I'm working on it. I really am. Something I'm going to get into soon. But I think that for this episode, what I want to title it and what I want to talk about is stopping it before it happens and stopping a breakdown is kind of what I'm referring to. And I think this can apply to a lot of different things in life, but...

So many of us get so caught up in everything that's going on and we just push away big feelings and stress and overwhelm and heaviness until it gets way too big and we have breakdowns. And I'm sure if you've been listening to this podcast long enough, you know me very well and you know that that's been a problem for me in the past. I mean...

When I had my big breakdown, and I'm talking like really big scale here, my big breakdown after college, it was after being basically in a depression and avoiding it and staying busy for a year. And then same thing happened with Hawaii.

it wasn't until it got too bad that i stopped it from happening and honestly the same scale last year 2022 when i traveled all summer back to back to back to back was living the dream after that i had what i thought was like post-trip depression but i just had everything hit me all at once like a truck and i realized all the things i didn't do that i wanted to do and i just put a lot of guilt on myself and i told myself i'm not doing enough i'm never going to be doing enough and

It honestly takes a long time for that to go away. It still hasn't fully gone away. I still have those thoughts almost constantly. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I chose social media, something that's ever changing and ever evolving as my career path. But kind of besides the point, what I really want to talk about is first, I'm going to give you

A few updates of everything I have going on all at once in my life and they are huge incredible things that I'm so proud of myself for and I'm so glad that they're happening but at the same time since they're all happening at once it gets really hard to organize all of it especially in a mind like mine. There are certain people who can handle things better in their brain

I'm not one of those people. For example, I was in the Cayman Islands and I don't know if you guys follow Natalie Zasek. I literally don't know how to say her last name. Zasek, maybe. Anyways, we all know and love her. She's freaking incredible. She is go, go, go and she's constantly on the move and she is so organized and so talented at doing things and I mean doing things like little things. Organizing her camera roll after we take pictures or have a day where we've taken tons of videos and content and

To someone who doesn't have the same job, that might sound silly, but since her and I do, I am just amazed by her. And I envy the way that her mind can handle those things. And it's something I'm working on within my own. One day I'll get there. But the point is, if you're anything like me, it's hard to have a lot of things going on at once. And I've figured things out about myself recently and learned that if I don't stop this breakdown before it happens by taking baby steps and taking

being patient with myself and focusing on one thing at a time that I'm going to start to spiral. And that is the last thing that I want to do right now is start to spiral because life is really good and it's really beautiful. And you guys have noticed, even in the podcast, I can tell from the DMS that January was a really good month for me mentally. And I have felt so much clarity and the clarity. It's not that it's going away because it's still there.

but there's a lot of things blocking it there's a lot of blockages and the more blockages you add the harder it is to realize that you can have that clarity and that you can have that space of oh everything's okay and i'm content and life is beautiful and i don't need to be overwhelmed so hard for me to say that right now as i am overwhelmed let's start with the updates because i think you guys will understand why my brain is doing what it's doing you're getting the inside scoop first of all

This podcast was supposed to come out today. Today's Monday. Don't know the date. It's Monday. Podcast was supposed to come out today. I didn't get a chance to record it ahead of time because I've had so much going on. So I'm recording it today and we're hopefully uploading it tomorrow or the next day. Whenever you're listening to it is the day it gets uploaded.

But that's always stressful because it's not only me that it affects when I get super messed up in the head like this and super last minute and procrastinate. It also affects the people who help me do things. Like one of my really good friends, Sam, she uploads the podcast for me and throws the ads in there for me before it can get uploaded. And she has a life and a job and she is a busy girl working really hard. And when I...

get like this and can't send her things ahead of time, it also affects her life and her schedule and it adds stress and overwhelm to her. And it's something that's really hard for me to grasp that my actions affect other people in that sense.

You know what I mean? And I think it's something for all of us to become aware of because at the same time that it stresses me out, that I'm stressing someone else out, it also makes me feel more motivated to stay on top of things when I think about other people because I love other people, often more than I love myself. And it just helps me. So I don't know, something to think about, something to be aware of if you notice that you are a lover of other people. It might help you organize your own life a little bit more. So that being said...

Let's get into it. Kulani bathing suits launch this. I'm going to take a sidetrack here. They launch on Thursday. I believe it's Thursday at 8 p.m. Eastern time. And then I don't know any of the other times, but just I'm sure you can figure it out. 8 p.m. Eastern time. And this journey to see it all come to life is something I can't put into words. I got the text from Emily, one of the social media. I don't know her exact title, but she works with the Kulani team and she's very high up there.

she texts me and she reaches out and says would you like to do a collection with kulani and this was in september and my freaking i exploded of excitement of holy crap i feel like i've made it this is so real i'm so excited i've been wearing kulani suits since quarantine they were one of the first ever companies to send me a pr package and when i tell you i wore those suits to the ground i mean it i love them and ever since then i've been buying them they've been sending them

The number one brand of swimsuit that I wear the most, and you guys know I wear a lot of swimsuits, is Kulani. So to be able to create a collection with them. Also, sorry, I keep getting out of breath. I'm a little bit sick. Add that to the list. But to do a collection with them is a dream come true. And for once a week, we did an hour and a half call talking about everything that goes on behind the scenes. And it was such a cool experience for me to learn how much goes on

In a business like how much sampling we have to do, how much testing, how much color sampling, every detail of everything is so important and it matters so much. So to be able to be a part of that was an incredible experience for me and to work with a team that is so kind hearted and special and actually wanted to create a collection that.

depicted me properly that's not represented me properly and it wasn't just oh we're gonna throw your name on something that we create that is nothing that I would have wanted to be a part of but this was so much teamwork between all of us to create this collection and then I was in California and we shot the collection for a week straight and I really had to get out of my comfort zone and be behind the or be in front of the camera with real models who know what they're doing and trust me guys I

I know a lot of you might be like, "Lexi, you're an influencer. You've been taking pictures and posting on Instagram and being in front of a camera for so long." But it's very different in a professional setting like that. And even in general, I don't know how I'm an influencer. I've learned quickly when I go hang out with other influencers that I get really stressed out when people are watching me take pictures. I do much better when I'm by myself creating content or with my best friend or my mom. Those are really the only people I let take pictures of me, besides the point.

it was a really cool experience to get out of my comfort zone like that and now it's coming to life and i'm gonna get to see all of you guys wearing the suits and repping and when i tell you they are perfect i mean it i have almost every single one of them i need to organize all of them there's a 25 pound box in my bedroom right now and it's going to be a dream come true and it finally starts to feel real now because this past week i was in the cayman islands because one of my best friends anna you guys know and love her too

She's been on the pod. We road trip together. Love her with my whole heart. She just did a collection with Gray Bandit, her second collection with them. First one was amazing. Second one was even better. So we went on a celebratory trip for her bathing suit collection. Also, how cool is that? How full circle and special is it that we get to launch a swimsuit collection at the same time together? Wow. Life is really freaking awesome.

I'm so proud of her. And if you haven't already, please go shop GBX Anna. You guys can get 15% off if you use code LEXI in all caps. Just helping you out. But anyways, we were there celebrating her. So I didn't even get a chance to like look through all my Kulani suits because they came in the night before I left for the trip. And I finally got home a couple days ago. Then it was Mother's Day.

All over the place. I'm telling you guys my brain is not functioning very well because it's finally Monday. I'm getting everything situated and I have two episodes to record right now to get caught up because my queen Sam who edits this, she's going out of town next week. So I got to send her too. And I'm just excited I get to talk to you guys for basically two hours right now.

Or something like that. But I finally got to go through everything and seeing them all in person and putting them on, I think I cried. I'm also emotional because I'm sick and on my period. It's amazing. And I can't wait to see you guys wearing them. So I just wanted to share that with you guys. And then I wanted to also tell you that I was in the Cayman Islands. What a fun trip. There's nothing more special than...

Getting together with your online friends that you don't get to talk to very often and it's a weird concept because we see everything that you know all of us are doing online we're very kept up with each other's life, but not on a personal level we don't get to talk about the details or the behind the scenes and To be able to do that just leads to really special conversations that I hold really close to my heart and I think that that's why I will always love a brand trip or an influencer trip even if they overwhelm me a bit and

There's nothing more special than the connections that get to build and get to evolve when I do that. So take that as a sign to apply in your own life. If you're ever going on some trip with a bunch of friends and you're overwhelmed about it, just know that it's going to lead you to much deeper friendships and really special memories and it's always worth it. I have to remind myself of that a lot because I can be quick to say no when I'm in my peace bubble just because...

Yes, it does bring me a lot of stressors I didn't really need, but it also brings me a lot of things I didn't know that I needed, like these connections and memories and just life experiences, man. Life is short. We have time to do all the things, but at the same time, life is short and we should say yes to opportunities, you know? Next thing I have going on.

Just bought the new house in Lantana and I am so excited for it. We close on it next week, but that's going to be a very, very fun and busy six months of renovations. And, you know, if you've ever moved into a college apartment or any apartment, it's kind of like that, but on a bigger scale because there's just so much to do.

But I get to do it with my family and that also is going to be so worth it and I'm so grateful and I couldn't be more excited. But I'm just giving you my list of everything going on in my brain because it's a very good foreshadow for what I'm going to get to in the meat of this podcast. I also just got a dog. I love my dog with my whole entire heart. I accidentally ended up with a dog. Yes.

But this dog is my everything. And when I travel, it's really hard and it's really stressful because one, I miss her with my whole heart. Two, there's very few people that I trust to, you know, stay with her. And it's usually my boyfriend, my best friend and my parents. And Lissette was with me and came in, so she couldn't stay here. And it's just hard because she's not very good with other dogs because she's a rescue off the streets. There's only so much we know about her and she needs a lot of training, but it's hard to find the time to train her and, um,

Because, you know, you've got to get a professional trainer, all the things. There's so many pieces to each of these puzzles that I can't explain them all, and I'm not going to waste your time explaining them all. I'm just trying to preface things. So when I was gone, Leah got in a fight with another dog, and it wasn't even her fault. The other dog came up and wasn't on a leash, and Leah kind of made the first move, but the other dog also fought back, and they're both okay. They're totally fine. It was nothing crazy serious, but there was a lot emotionally for me, and it just stressed me out thinking about...

my travel plans in the future and again before you guys all say like well you did this all to yourself I know that I'm aware of the things that I do and I'm aware that 99% of this is self-inflicted and I do it because it's always worth it but yeah I've just been thinking a lot about that and I'm still adjusting to having a new dog it's a whole new level of responsibility and it's a beautiful experience and it really makes me feel like I'm finally growing up not sure how to put it into words

Um, what else do I have on this list here? Uh, having a boyfriend. That's a whole other can of worms that we could dive into. If you've ever freshly gotten into a relationship or you're, this is more for my girls who aren't relationship people and have gotten in one. I was never the girl who had boyfriends in high school and middle school. I've never been used to having someone in my life that I love on a romantic level. Um, and it's just,

It's incredible. It's a beautiful thing that I'm learning about. But again, it's a lot. It's an adjustment. It's learning to make time for another person in your life. Not because I have to, but because I truly want to make time for this person. And making decisions with their feelings in mind. And yes, these sound like basic relationship things, and they are. But when you've never experienced that before, it's a lot to unpack and process. Especially with everything going on at once. But...

I love having a boyfriend. It's been so fun. I know you guys are really eating up the soft launch and I'm gonna keep it that way because I just, you know, Taylor Swift says, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours. So I'm enjoying my time. You guys are gonna meet him soon enough. He's awesome. Really, really awesome. Next thing I have on my list is I only have a few more months with my best friend here before she goes and starts her big girl job. So I wanna take all the time I can to be with her, just sitting, doing nothing, being content with each other,

There's nothing like it. So I'm trying to soak in all that time. And my brothers, one of my brothers is graduating college and it's not just him. It's all of our family friends that we have been best friends with since the womb. I mean, these are my sisters and brothers just as much as my own brothers are. And somehow, someway,

We had this idea. It's all my fault, actually, because my boyfriend is going to Europe with all his friends for a few weeks or for a couple weeks. And in a few weeks, they're going. And he's like, can you please meet me in Paris? Yada, yada, yada. And I was like, yeah, I'll solo trip. And that seems kind of fun. What a cute little romantic thing to do. And I have some free time in my June. Do I really? No. But I made time? Yeah. And then...

My mom was like, why don't you bring your brothers for their graduation present? And I thought about it and realized that that would be the most fun thing that we could do because we're all so close right now and there's no time like now to do it. And for Mother's Day, we were all out on the boat with all our family friends. And it turned into us realizing that we are all going to go. So I am taking eight graduates, seven of them, eight of us total, to France, the south of France, for 10 days.

And then we're going to take the train. I'm going to see my boyfriend in Paris for a day. And then we're going to come home. And again, you guys are probably like, Lexi, chill out. And I know I should. But here's my take. This is the last time we're all ever going to be this close, potentially. Because once they all go off to college, it's not that we're going to be...

any less of friends, but we're going to see each other less often. And right now we're at a point in our lives where we hang out at least once a week. We're all together. We're all best friends and we're never going to get along at the same level that we do right now. I don't think ever again. So why not go for it? Take the opportunity before they have responsibilities and real things. Like I just think it would be a dream come true. And I love, I love when life feels like a dream come true. That's why I try to say it so often.

So we're doing that. So I got to plan that trip in the next couple weeks. But it's going to be amazing. And that's not really at the top of my stressors. All of the points I'm trying to make right now is there are so many phases of our life when we're going to have a lot going on. And you get to make the decision whether you're going to let it break you or you're going to take baby steps and you're going to make lifestyle changes and find a way to be able to handle it peacefully and comfortably.

I think if I had to record this episode last year when I was feeling the same kind of overwhelmed because I recognize it now, I would be a hot mess. And all of the beautiful things that I'd be experiencing, I wouldn't have appreciation for them. I'd just have anger at the fact that I have done this to myself. And I think that the difference I've made, the swap I've made, and you guys have heard me talk about it 10 million times just this year,

is to take the things that overwhelm me and find a way to appreciate them and make it all worthwhile. And that's what I've been doing. And I believe that that's why I can still breathe right now because there is a lot and there's always going to be a lot. I've proven to myself time and time again that

No matter what I try to change, I'm not really going to chill out because my brain won't do it. And I don't want to because at the end of the day, I am creating a life that is going to leave me with so many memories to one day share with people, with my kids, with whoever it is that I meet in this lifetime and whoever's willing to listen. Life is worth experiencing. We really only get one of them.

And I guess I want to share with you some of the tips that I've been using and the tricks that have made it easier for me to get through these phases of my life. And a lot of it is detachment. I have struggled with when I have one thing going on, I put my everything into it mentally, not physically. So I do a lot of talking to talk and not a lot of walking the walk. So mentally, let's talk about the house for example.

I'm making YouTube videos. I'm sharing it. I'm sharing every step of the process. I'm learning about mon- uh, not montages, wow, mortgages and taxes and interest rates and loans. But physically, like what I'm actually doing is not all of that because everything else is physically consuming me. And I've had to kind of detach from what I could be doing. And that's a really hard thing to do. And I think that a lot of us face this, especially if you're at the age where you're graduating high school or you're graduating college or college.

anywhere in between that, there's always more things we could be doing. And that feeling of guilt is never going to go away unless you can detach from the feeling itself. I have had to really let go of a lot of the things I've wanted to do in the past few years because with a job like this and with my life being the way that it is right now, there's always things I could be doing.

until there's no more time for it like we only have so much time and in brain capacity and Hours in the day. So when you let go of oh, I could be doing this I should be doing this it helps life feel a little bit more peaceful and it helps you be a lot more in the moment That's a huge thing that I've done this year I've always preached be in the moment, but I don't think I learned how to be in the moment until this year Mother's Day, for example

woke up only thinking about everything that I got behind on the whole week that I was traveling in the Cayman and I told myself like okay I could either go have all these Mother's Day events because we had so much to do and Constantly think about what I could have been doing or I can go soak up the time that I have with my family and use this upcoming week to reevaluate and

And figure it out. And that's exactly what I did. And I had a beautiful Mother's Day. And there was nothing going on in my mind except appreciating who I was with, the memories I was making, and soaking in all the time that I get to have with these people who aren't going to be in every phase of my life. And they aren't going to be here forever. And not in a sad, morbid way, but in a way that's just, let's appreciate now. Let's hold on to things and do things that are going to give us stories to tell. And...

Yeah, that would be my first one. And that I think is the biggest one. And it's also the hardest one because detachment is really not an easy thing. And it's just hard to accept that you can't do everything at once. And that's something that society has pushed on us. It wasn't us. It's not our own fault. It's just how it goes. I think that my next few ones are sometimes, I know this is kind of conflicting to what I said about saying yes to opportunities.

When there's too many, evaluate what's worth a yes and what's worth a no. I got an opportunity two days ago. My friend texted me and she's like, "Hey, I have an extra spot literally next week to come live on a pirate ship in Croatia for a week." And of course my first response was, "Holy crap, I've been dreaming about Croatia for months. I've been talking about it. Is this God's way of telling me I should go?"

And at first I said, "Yes, I have to do it. I can't. I'll figure out everything else." Meanwhile, this is the week I'm closing on the house, my brother's graduation, the week before I'm supposed to go to France, a lot of things. I have a dog. I have responsibilities. So I really sat and I evaluated and I said, "Lexi,

Your brother's only going to graduate high school once. You're only going to get to close on a house and grab the keys from Judy's hand once. Croatia, you could go to another time. And these are obviously really big examples, but you can move these and adjust them into smaller things in our lives and in your life and in my life. And I'm just giving big examples because it makes it easier to soak in when the examples are big. You know what I'm saying? So I ended up saying no to Croatia.

And am I a little bit sad about it? Yes. But am I going to appreciate every second that I get to watch my brother walk across the stage? The same stage that I got to walk across and then go to his graduation party with everyone that we know and love? It's going to be a hundred times more worth it. And I'll go to Croatia another time. And instead of being upset about that and being mad that I have to stay home to be with my family, I'm gonna soak in every second of it. You know what I'm saying? And then...

Yeah, just evaluate what you're saying yes to and what you're saying no to and say yes to the things that are going to give you energy. That's another big one. Traveling gives me energy in the moment, but it crushes my energy for the weeks after it. So it was probably smarter for me to say no because family, on the other hand, does the opposite. Family inspires me, motivates me. I usually have an easier time staying on track with a routine when it comes to doing things with my family and doing things at home and...

Yeah, I'm hoping you guys are getting what I'm saying. There's a lot of conflict in my brain a lot of the time. So I know that when I say a lot of things, it's a lot of back and forth. But I know some of you get me and that's why I appreciate you guys. And I'm very lucky. I'm very lucky that someone wants to listen to me talk about a lot of the things that don't even make sense in my own head.

Actually, it's frustrating because before I sit down to record, when I tell you guys my brain is locked and loaded and I have so many things to talk about, so many good points to make and metaphors and references, the second I press record, gone. Brain fart. Which is crazy. It's frustrating, but that's life. It's how it goes.

What else? Other things I want you to do, if you find yourself on the edge of a breakdown, pull the journal out, start writing. Said it before, I'll say it until I'm in the grave. Write things down. Write down what's overwhelming you. You can go back and you can look on it. And I just did a whole podcast on self-reflection and why it's important to do so. Because you'll teach yourself a lot about yourself. Write it down. Even if it's not going to be perfect, if it's going to be

fourth grade sentences and run on sentences, just write it. You don't have to be a poet every time you pull out the journal. You just got to write what you're feeling. And I'm saying that so aggressively right now because I've been avoiding the journal just because I know that I can't write very poetically right now. So after this, I'm going to write down a bunch of fourth grade sentences and run on sentences. Write in your journal. The next one I have, honestly, every single thing I'm saying in this episode is just a reminder for me. I'm talking to myself. I should be looking in the mirror when I say this.

Focus on what you're putting into your body. Oftentimes when I get, and I want to preface this, I don't want to do like a trigger warning on food. I just want to like let you know I'm talking about food and kind of like past issues I've had with food. A lot of times when I get myself super overwhelmed or stressed out or just have too much going on, too much on my plate, I physically put too much on my plate. I cope with food and I'm all for, you know, feed your cravings, eat your soul food. You guys know I love my food.

But when I'm in this kind of headspace or the headspace I could be in if I didn't prevent it right now, I just eat and I eat and I eat and I procrastinate by eating. And when I'm bored, I eat. And when I'm happy, I eat. And when I'm sad, I eat. Too much. And it just makes me feel physically not well. My body doesn't react well to gluten. I eat 10 times more gluten when I'm in a bad headspace. So just start to evaluate what makes your body feel good.

what you put into it recognize that that's going to affect how you feel physically. It affects your energy levels, it affects your physical appearance, like I break out when I eat too much dairy and if I'm not aware of those things I let myself physically get to a place I don't love and mentally get to a place I don't love and I don't want to say that being physically insecure should affect my mental health but that's what I'm going to say because I am a human and I know that when I feel good about the way that I look I

Almost everything in my life moves a little bit smoother. Hate that it works that way, but it does. Is it something I'm working on a little bit more? Yes. But I know that I'm not alone when I say that. So if I can pay attention to even in the midst of chaos, what I'm putting into my body, I

I notice a difference and I find it easier to prevent the big breaks. Same goes for physical movement. I haven't been able to move my body this past week. I didn't work out on vacation. I haven't worked out in the past few days and it makes me feel kind of meh, you know, especially with a swimsuit collection coming out. And I don't even know. It's so tough to talk about all this because I do believe in having a good relationship with your body at all stages.

It's just harder when I know that I'm not properly taking care of my body in the way that makes it feel the best. Like this goes beyond what it looks like. I just mean feeling wise. So this upcoming week and today, I'm going to try to get back into moving, whether it's just going for a walk or having a dance party, starting small because I have no energy to really work out right now, which I don't know, just happens sometimes, especially when I'm tired. Uh,

But essentially, I just want you to remember that you have the control. You don't have to let it get super bad and ugly before you start changing things. And that's what a lot of us do. And that's what I did for a very long time. And even though I'm talking about all this right now and I'm saying you can prevent it, that doesn't mean I might not have a big break soon. Who knows? Like we're going to see how the summer goes. We're going to see what happens in my life. You guys will know if I hit that point of I did it to myself again.

But I'm really praying and I'm manifesting and I'm working, keyword, I'm putting in the work to make sure that that doesn't happen. Yes, it's in your control. And yes, you can do all the mental preventative things. But if you're not physically taking action and putting in the work and watering your own grass, you're not going to feel good and things are not going to get better. And it's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, I know, because when we're mentally chaotic,

It's a lot harder to take action. We lose motivation. We lose energy. We lose inspiration. It just gets hard. Life gets hard sometimes. We have the power and we have the control. And I just want you to know that. And I guess I just wanted to kind of come on here and talk to you about that and give you some insight into what my mind looks like because I know that I'm not the only one with a mind like that. And just be real and be vulnerable with you guys and talk to you about everything that's going on up there in my head. And...

I'm going to record another episode today that will come out next Monday. I'm not sure what I want to talk about. I might talk about brain conflict and how it's affected my life in so many ways. And I guess what I'm trying to do to fix it, even though most of the things aren't working. It's a long trial and error process. But I'm also, fun fact, getting my brain scan evaluation on Wednesday. And I can't wait to share that with you. So that'll probably be the next week's episode. But really just know, I'm proud of you and...

Know that you're human. Things are going to happen. You're not going to have control of everything that happens to you, but you have very much a lot of control on how you make meaning of it. And that's the first step in making yourself feel better and stopping things before they happen. Just awareness. And I say awareness affects a lot of things in your life because it can change a lot of things in your life. It can change the way you feel, the way you act, everything in between, the way you treat people.

And the way that you handle chaos and confusion and everything else. So I'm going to end it there. I hope I gave you guys a couple good points. I'm going to get back to my to-do list and then record another episode in a little while. But today's a catch-up day. And I'm going to catch up on life. And I'll talk to you soon.

You guys know I've also been kind of down bad because I haven't posted a TikTok in three days. Sounds silly, but you guys know I'm usually on that grind because I'm supposed to be and I have to be. But I love you. I miss you and I'll talk to you soon. You guys are the best. Stop it before it happens. You're in control. I'm in control. We got this. We're about to have the best summer ever. Okay, I love you.