Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Beautiful people, this is the Moments Podcast and I'm your host, Lexi Hidalgo. I hope you're ready to learn a little bit something new about yourself or the world or feel a little bit more seen, heard, and understood because you are. And you are beautiful and valuable and I want to be your big sister and your best friend and I'm going to remind you of that hopefully in each and every episode that you listen to. So tune in and enjoy the moment.
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.
Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the moments podcast I just chugged like five sips of an energy drink that sounded really dramatic I took five sips of an energy drink, so I'm excited. I'm feeling good I don't really have so much caffeine anymore like especially within the past week. I've had zero coffee so I was basically exhausted by 6 p.m. and I
Now I think having an energy drink is going to make me spiral because I just forget what it's like to have caffeine in my system. Quite the intro. Anyways, welcome back to Moments. I wanted to do...
This week's episode, I was kind of going back and forth in my head. I don't know what I want to talk about. I don't know what I want to do. And it kind of just came over me that I want this week's episode to be a very small little piece of content. Nothing too long, nothing too crazy. I just want you to have something to come back to or to listen to. If you feel you need a reminder to keep going and to keep moving forward...
know that if you didn't listen to last week's episode, or I guess, yeah, last week's episode, I was going through it. Like, this girl, and that was the best day of my going through it. Like, that was the day that I felt honestly really okay compared to how I felt the two days after that. I, post-recording that episode, the next 48 hours, I threw up
because of how anxious I was. That hasn't happened to me since probably, not probably, since middle school, if it even happened then. And I also had like really serious panic attacks, full on hyperventilating, full on freaking out, couldn't get a breath in, like what felt like screaming crying. Like I was a wreck and it was brutal. I couldn't get off the couch.
There's a difference between "Oh my god, I'm so anxious. I don't want to go anywhere." Which I've definitely experienced. But this was "Oh my god, I'm so anxious. If I move, if I breathe in something that smells wrong and..." I couldn't even brush my teeth without like gagging, throwing up. Trigger warning. That's gross. I hate throw up. But point here is I had a really hard two days this week and
The hardest I've had in a long time, ever, if not ever. I don't know what came over me, but something did, and it was brutal. I was hopeless. I thought I was going to feel like that for a long time, and it was the first time in a while that my anxiety came in as one thing and evolved and impacted every other person.
aspect of my life. Like I was anxious about everything that's months from now, like the future, the past, the present, everything I could have possibly been freaking out about, I was freaking out about. And it sucked. But the following two days, after I finally breathed through the struggle bus that I was on,
Those following two days were some of the, and still now, have been some of the greatest days I've experienced in a really long time. You know, it's obviously a really common, a really cliche saying that we need the bad to have the good, and you've heard me say that a million times, we've heard everyone say it a million times, but you truly...
have an entirely different view of life and the simple things and the mundane little moments when you've gone through struggle, when you've hurt. I, when I was really anxious for those three days or so, and mind you, I know I say three days like it's a long time, but that probably felt like the longest time in the whole wide world. That three days felt like a year. Time moves really slow when you're having a hard time breathing.
I couldn't eat for like three days and I'm somebody who really appreciates food. I love food I've always been an advocate for having a good healthy relationship with food, but I quite literally was nauseated by the thought of food, but my body was so hungry and It sucked for those three days. I got down maybe a popsicle I got down one slice of pizza in those three days and not much at all and
After that, the day that I woke up and I was hungry, I've never been more grateful to want to eat or have more appreciation for taking a bite of food, being able to eat whatever I want, being able to fuel my body, whether it be junk food or food that I would have in the past looked at as bad foods or unhealthy foods.
too much sugar, too many carbs, whatever it may be, that was all out the window because I had a body that was craving food, that wanted to eat. And I had such an appreciation and such a mindfulness for each and every one of the bites that I took. And it sounds cliche if you're not some, or not cliche, that's the wrong word. I keep throwing that around. It sounds silly to somebody who's like,
Okay, girl, you're being dramatic. It's just food. Like, yeah, we can be grateful for it, but why do we need to freak out? Because like seriously, we can freak out about everything. If we want to view life as this wonderful, beautiful thing where every single moment is truly a gift, it's an incredible way to look at the world. And I encourage it.
to everyone. And that being said, it's impossible to look at the world like every day is the best day ever and every minute is the best minute ever and be present every second, every day. It's not realistic. But for anybody who's struggling, the days that are going to follow are going to be some of the greatest days of your life simply because you have such an appreciation for every breath and every moment that isn't causing you pain.
So everybody who's in a dark place, whether you're grieving, whether you're going through a breakup, whether you're struggling with yourself, whether you're facing really bad social anxiety, whether you are hating your job at the moment, whether the weather is bad and you're facing a seasonal depression, wherever you're at, there is good coming and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And you just have to keep breathing and take deep breaths until you get there because you got to put the work in.
And sometimes it feels pointless because you're working, working, working, trying, trying, trying. You're putting in all of this effort to work through what you're going through, doing all of the things that people say. You're walking, you're breathing, you're drinking your water, you're talking to important, you're talking to people about important things, you're journaling. You can do it all and still struggle for a day, a week, a year, five years. But there is another side of that tunnel. And
What comes on the other side of that tunnel is more than just this extreme gratitude for life. This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.
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Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And, you know what?
They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.
But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.
You have so many people.
that you still haven't met in this world. There are so many people who are going to become your best friends and if I, when I first struggled with anxiety and depression in middle school, if I let myself go and I left this earth then when I thought that was what I wanted to do, when that was what I thought my future looked like, not here, not on this planet, I would not have
been able to say I lived in Hawaii. I would not have been able to build this community. I wouldn't be here speaking to you guys. I wouldn't have met my best friend in the whole world, Meredith. I wouldn't have fallen in love. I wouldn't have had my first heartbreak. I wouldn't have seen so much of the world. I wouldn't have gone through friendship breakups. I wouldn't have gone through more struggles. And those sound like bad things, but those bad things are a lot better than nothing.
If you're out there and you're thinking about giving it up for whatever reason, don't. There's another day and you're here for a reason. To make somebody's day. To change somebody's life. And you might do it without even knowing it. I think about this all of the time. You sometimes might not know what your purpose here is.
It might not be clear to you that, oh, my purpose is to be a dentist. This is what I've always wanted to do. I want to fix people and their teeth, and I want people to love their smiles. A purpose isn't always something like that. That could be a passion, and a passion also isn't always something obvious in that way. But a purpose, a purpose is running into somebody in the grocery store. Maybe somebody that you went to middle school with. Maybe somebody that you don't know at all, you've never met, you've never seen.
Maybe catching up with that friend from middle school or telling that stranger that they have beautiful eyelashes and they're so long and then they tell you, oh my gosh, I've been using this serum, you should try it, yada, yada, yada. And maybe that conversation leads into another conversation and you talk about their husband or their kids and maybe that person had spent the past year
two weeks resenting their husband and wanting to end a beautiful relationship that's lasted years and you bringing up their husband making them think about their husband in a kind and a positive light might just be the thing that makes that wife go home to her husband and recognize that there's so much love there there's so much love worth growing and healing and working on and you might have saved a marriage
Now, these are not things that cross our mind because we're not really ever encouraged to think this way at all. We're not even encouraged to talk to strangers anymore most of the time. But you could run into somebody who was ready to take their life because of how insecure they were feeling and how not beautiful they felt in this world and how they felt like they couldn't compare. You complimenting them.
from a genuine place of your heart could have saved their life. You running, almost running that red light could have saved somebody else's life from getting in an accident. Your car in the highway could be what saved somebody. Your existence here is 100% for a reason. You are meant to be here. You deserve to be here and you are changing more lives than you'll ever even be able to recognize.
Whether you have a million friends, or you have one friend, or even if you just have you. If you just have you, you have a friend. You are your best friend. Always. We don't need to get into that topic right now. But you are changing lives just by existing. Just by being kind to people. Keep pushing and keep going.
the weather's gonna get nice soon. It's almost the springtime. It is the springtime. I live in Florida, so I don't ever really know what time of year it is. It's just hot and humid here all the time. But the good weather is coming. The beach is calling your name. You're going to be able to dunk your head in the water soon. You're not going to have to wipe the snow off of your windshield. You're going to be out with your friends having a bonfire.
And if the thought of that scares you because you get anxious or socially stressed out, there's going to be a time where that passes. You're going to meet friends, you're going to meet people who don't make you feel like you need to be anyone or any way to be welcomed. You are going to have a new favorite song at one point. Your favorite artist is going to drop a new album that you get to binge listen to with your best friend.
You are gonna get to take another hot shower at night when it feels so good and then you get out of the shower after you shaved your legs and washed your hair and you're gonna put lotion on. And you're gonna get into a big cozy bed with a nice warm blanket. You're gonna make yourself a cup of tea or a coffee or a latte.
And it's going to be the best thing that you've ever had in your life. Or you're going to go out to coffee. You're going to run into a friend from high school and you're going to catch up and you're going to talk and you're going to rebuild a friendship that you thought you'd never ever experience again. You're going to maybe go out with that friend. Even though going out scares you and you get really stressed out when you go out, maybe you're going to go out and meet the love of your life. Maybe you're going to go out and rekindle a friendship with somebody you kissed in the past. Maybe that's the person that you're going to marry. And...
Maybe you're out at a restaurant and you run into a little kid. And you're just waving at the little kid. And you're talking to him. You're playing peekaboo. And you're making a little kid's day. And that little kid is also unintentionally sending you so much love and light that you laugh. And you feel joy again. You are going to be in the car. And you're going to get all of the green lights one of these days. And it's going to feel good. You're going to feel fast. You're going to get on the highway and there's going to be no traffic. You are going...
to be reunited with somebody that's not next door to you anymore. There are so many good things that are going to happen to us that we cannot even picture if we get so stuck thinking on what good isn't happening for us. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.
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There's so many moments of joy that we are going to feel in the future, even if they feel so far away right now. There's so much to live for. There's so much to be happy about. There's so much to be grateful for. I've done a bunch of episodes on gratitude because like the way I feel about my gratitude is that sometimes I get really like overly grateful.
appreciative of life and I think it's important to share kind of similar to what this episode is like but even besides like just being grateful for life think about all of the moments that you are going to get to experience in the next year think about how much you've changed in a year think about going from eighth grade to ninth grade
You evolved in so many ways. You felt completely different. You, sure, have some tendencies that stay the same, some things and ways that you feel and maybe mental stuff that stays the same. But you are going to grow and you are going to change and you are going to love yourself more and more every single year. And we are going to make it that way. We are going to make it that way.
We are going to pour love into ourselves and we're going to take care of ourselves from the inside out and we're going to journal and we're going to play outside and we're going to roll in the grass and we're going to do all of the cringy things that people say are cringy. Like frolicking around and taking cute videos with your best friends and taking an obnoxious amount of pictures to have on your phone or on your camera of your trips and places you want to go and we're going to keep adding to our Pinterest boards and
thinking about all of the beautiful things that this future is going to hold. Because one day you're going to go on your European summer vacation that you've always dreamed of since you were little. Or one day you're going to go jump off of a cliff in Hawaii if that's what you've always dreamed of. There are so many things coming. You're going to get a new favorite outfit that you're going to wear until it rips and it's going to suck when it rips but then after that you're going to have another favorite outfit. You're going to eat pizza again. You're going to have
Good things come to you. And the only way you're ever going to come across those good things is if you keep existing and you keep pushing and you push yourself through when it hurts and when it's hard and when you feel everything caving in. I know it probably feels impossible to think that some feeling like this, some hopefulness like this is possible.
But as somebody who just spent the past 48 hours panicking, crying, hyperventilating, that my life is over for literally who knows what, but whatever your reason may be, it's going to pass and we have a lot to feel good for. So I want you to get up. I want you to breathe. I want you to do one of the things that I've mentioned in this, whether it's listening to music, putting on another podcast after this one,
Maybe reading your Bible. If you're religious, I don't know. But that's another thing I want to get into on another episode one of these days is just faith. If you're into it, you can tune in. And if you're not, you don't have to. If you're curious, tune in. But God's done a lot of work in my life in these past couple days. I heavily, I was relying on myself for a bit to try to fix it myself. But I realized that some problems are best to be given to somebody bigger than me.
somebody with a bit more power than me and I gave a lot of it to God. Did that solve the problem immediately? No. Still hyperventilated, panicked for two days but it made me feel good and it gave me this like extra bit of faith and hope that somebody's got me covered and I don't have to do it all myself. You know what I'm saying? What else? You want to stick around. I promise that you do because
There's a whole nother world that we're going to experience, especially most of us listening to this. We're what? We're probably between 15 and 25. If you're in any other age range and you're listening to this, shoot me a DM because I'm really curious. I don't really know what the demographic here is, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is. We have like four more of these to live. Like we, well, I guess that's, yeah, yeah. We're a quarter, if not less than a quarter of the way through with our life.
If we're lucky, honestly. That's another thing. Every single day is a gift. Because in one second, it could all be over. It could. So why not make every day just the best day ever? My friend Mitchell, when I lived in Hawaii, missed that kid, honestly. One of my best friends.
He used to say, no matter how much work he had, no matter what he was going through, every single day he woke up and said, I would say, like, how's your day? And he'd say, the best day ever. It's the best day ever. Every single day. And to adopt a mindset like that is powerful. And it's something that I really want to work on for as long as I possibly can. But it's really an important reminder. I had a friend of mine, a friend of a friend, kind of, but also a friend of mine who was
was so young and so hopeful and had so many dreams that she was in the process of fulfilling and her life was taken way before it ever should have been out of absolutely nowhere no signs no warnings it was over nobody around her was prepared for something like that so also stick around for your friends stick around for your people if the choice is yours there are people who love you
Who care about you who would be broken without you even if it feels like if you feel like there's nobody there is somebody who would be broken without you so Love yourself embrace yourself Recognize that you are worthy loved valuable beautiful wonderful hopeful incredible authentic
I could go on and on about a million different ways about how much you deserve and how much good is coming. And I don't want to make this episode too long. Like I said, I wanted it to be a quick reminder that you can come back and listen to anytime you need it because there is light around the corner. Water your grass. Stop watering other people's grass. Stop paying attention to other people's yards. You have your own garden that is ready to bloom. So please...
Let it bloom. Let it bloom. I love you with all of my heart. Keep pushing. Keep going. I know it's been a long winter, but the tulips are about to blossom. And the flowers are going to come. And it's all going to be worth it. But you make it worth it. So enjoy this life and everything that it has to offer. I love you guys with my whole entire heart. And I will talk to you next Monday.