Asking my fiancé questions you may be afraid to ask a guy
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Hello, my beautiful people and welcome back to the moments podcast today It's a very special episode an episode that we've been wanting to do for a really long time But we've been a little bit nervous to do so and today we're just fighting the bullet and we're going for it So I have a very special guest named Gabe. Hi guys It's his first time on the podcast and I don't know why I've been so nervous to have him on it just feels like a different kind of

I don't know. I also can't believe that this is the first one that I'm on. Yeah. We're about to leave on a trip to Switzerland right now. And I wanted to record an episode before we go. That way, while we're there, we can just be on the trip. And I was like, you know what? Why don't we just do this one together right now? Because I don't have time to overthink it. I don't have time to be nervous about it. We're just...

we're gonna do it. - Yeah. - And for anybody who doesn't know if you're a new listener, this is Gabe and he's my fiance. We've been together like two years now and he's the best person in the whole entire world. So what we're gonna be doing today is an episode where I put on my Instagram story questions that you would want to ask a guy that you're maybe too nervous to ask a guy, but I think in the mix of that, some people also ask for different advice,

or questions that they would ask me about guys so we're just going to kind of go through some of them that i screenshotted and talk about them so it's a little bit of a mix of everything are you ready i'm ready okay the first one is what do guys do when they have a crush on a girl i feel like they'll be a little like jokingly mean

That's like the classic elementary school. If the guys mean to you. They'll just like roast. Some, you know, are different and they'll just be super nervous and not say anything to you. And some, you know, a couple of the people I know, they deal with it in a shy way. They deal with it in like a roasting kind of way. And then there's others that will deal with it in like a just straight for the, they'll just go straight for it. Like just start flirting and

You'll know. Yeah, I feel like that's a pretty clear sign. I think that when somebody has a crush on you, you won't really question it. I know you said before that like people can be mean, but I feel like you weren't. When we first got together, you were never mean to me. Yeah, no, that's just, but that's how I was. I was like, but that's the thing too. Like some people get nervous, right?

And some people are just their normal self. That's very true. And that's what it's the best. I was great. I just knew how to be me. That's how I got to know. No, but I mean like, you know. No, I think that you'll know if a man has a crush on you because you'll just know. And I think that's a pretty sure sign from very early on that if you have to question if this person is into you. Like if he's texting you all the time.

100% that's a 100% sign if the person is like always wanting to get in contact with you some way shape or form like be it like liking your Instagram commenting Snapchatting you trying to text you those are all ways in the crush stage I feel like oh the crush stage you know the crush stage okay we're gonna do the next one do guys like or want flowers

And if not, like what is the equivalent of, you know how I feel when I get flowers. I feel like, oh my God, she's thinking of me. He loves me. This and that. What is the equivalent of flowers? Okay. So do men want flowers? Honestly, personally, I don't, I don't need flowers. What I think is just as sweet is like a text when we're apart from each other being like,

Hey, baby, thinking about you, you know? Yeah. Things like that. What would you say your love language is? Not gift-giving. I suck at gift-giving. Well, okay, no. I always say that your giving love language is different than your receiving love language. So, for example, I love to give gifts. Like, that's one of the ways I show my love. Yeah. But I love to receive words of affirmation and, like, acts of service. I think words of affirmation is a big one for me.

What are the other? There's five, right? So there's physical touch. Physical touch. Quality time. Another one. Quality time is definitely another one. Acts of service. That would probably be one of mine. Yeah, I think they're all one of his, apparently. Except for, like, I don't know why I just suck at GIFs.

He doesn't suck at gifts. He thinks that he does, but he's actually a very good and thoughtful gift giver. He just doesn't really give himself enough credit. But I think that it's very natural for girls to be better gift givers because of the way that we think.

You know, like guys are very logical in the way that they give gifts. It doesn't mean they're not thoughtful and beautiful, but they're just different. Like girls will print out pictures and write cute little notes and guys will be like, oh, you need this. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's true. So I think it's just a divide and a...

Men and women not necessarily like being a bad gift giver versus being a good gift giver Because I think you're a good gift giver because you think of me when you give a gift Yeah, you know, you don't just get me some random nonsense that I'm never gonna touch or I'm gonna use right you still think about what will she actually use or wear or need right, you know, yeah, like it was really cute He gave me a boo basket and I was like running out of deodorant and he got me deodorant Like I think that's like really thoughtful. But if you looked at that on the surface, you'd be like, oh

deodorant, you know what I mean? Whereas like when I give him something, I'll like print out pictures of us that probably won't go anywhere. That'll go in a box under the bed. But like, that's crazy that you said that was a perfect example. It's just like, it's different, but it's such a good example. I think that's just something important to think about when it comes to relationships and guys. And I feel like there's so many people that'll post, um,

you know, look at all these things that my boyfriend got from me or did for me, or look how thoughtful he is. And like, in the same way that Gabe writes me a note every single morning, like that is one way that he shows me so much love, but he'll do that rather than, you know, get me extravagant gifts every week or every month or go out to crazy fancy dates. Like every single relationship is going to have

places that it is stronger in and different or love languages, I guess I should say where you show more, you show less of. So I think it's just an important reminder not to compare, you know, you see somebody. And also like definitely don't compare it. Cause that's, that's like the worst. That's like the thief of joy right there. But also like if you do need work in a certain area, like, like put in the work to be better at it. Cause like,

I sometimes can be a little more thoughtful with my like gifts, but like, like I want to get better at that because that's like Lexi loves that. So like, if that's something that my partner loves, then I want to do that for her. Yeah. That actually leads into another question that I thought was a really good one. Let me try to find it really quick. Something along the lines of if your partner, uh,

doesn't do something that you want them to do. Or it said, "Is the saying, 'If he wanted to, he would,' true?" And I think about this one a lot because when I think back to the beginning of Gabe and I's relationship, there were a lot of things that we both kind of communicated that we want or that we need in a relationship.

And I think that a man can't necessarily know what it is that you want or what it is that you need, especially if he hasn't been in multiple other relationships or if he hasn't been in relationships where they've reached a certain level of meeting each other's needs or seriousness or long-term, whatever it may be. And sometimes you have to communicate what it is that you want. And I think that guys have to do the same. So I think for me,

If he wanted to, he would once he knows what it is that you want. You know, like when Gabe and I got together, um,

he got me flowers once in a while and he just gave them to me like in the plastic which is already i mean this man knew to give me flowers from day one he brought me them to my door you know i think there's different levels to this but then i saw this one random tick tock of this guy who made his flowers like in its own little bouquet and he wrapped it in this paper bag and i was like oh my gosh that would be really cute like that would be super thoughtful if you send it to me you sent it to me and then

Well, here's what happened actually. I just reposted it and I was hoping that he would see it and he didn't see it. But Lissette called me out in front of both of us and goes, wow, Lexi, you're so obvious. Like you reposted this, da, da, da, da, da. So then anyways, it turned into like a big joke and I showed it to Gabe. But from that point on,

He has gotten me flowers and put them together that way ever since. And that's like a more surface level example. But I think that if you're with somebody who's receptive to meeting your needs, they will continue to meet them after you've brought up an issue or a conversation one time. Very good point. Because if someone wants something a certain way, like not that like once, but like it's something that, you know, they would like. Yeah. Yeah.

If you truly love the person, you'll do whatever it takes to make sure that that is, you know, done. And I think it's beautiful. Yeah. And I think it's also important. And I've always tried to talk about this when it comes to my relationship, because I do feel so blessed to have somebody like Gabe who listens to every single thing that I have to say and every single thing or want or need that I have. I don't want to say want. I'm going to say more like need that.

because it's not wants, it is needs. He is just so receptive to understanding me and wanting to be better for me in the same way that I am for him. But I think that as a female in the relationship,

you have to be open and you have to communicate. And I think that this was something really on for Gabe and I that we made a priority. We didn't just let things go unspoken or unset. If anything hurt me or him, we would talk about it. And it might have led us to more quote unquote small stupid arguments in the beginning of our relationship. But I think that in our long-term relationship now, it's made us so much stronger. Yeah. And it's good because like,

If you hold stuff in and don't like bring it up as soon as it comes into your mind, like, you know, obviously, like everyone knows, like it'll just end badly because you're just bottling up all your emotions. But you just don't want to do that. You just don't want to do that because like we've been through that before. Like I've done that and it just causes so much problems for no reason. Like when you can literally as soon as you think about it.

You bring it up, you talk about it, whatever. It's not even like that big of a deal when you bring it up as soon as you think about it and then on to the next. Like it's just resolved and you're done. And then you learn from it and you take it from next time. I think that's why we can handle...

any kind of issues that we have so much smoother now, that's not to say we don't still fight and argue. We do all the time, but we know what each other need in those moments. In the beginning of our relationship, whenever I would get super upset about something, I need a little bit of silence and I need a little bit of space. And Gabe is kind of a hands-on, let's tackle the problem like right this second. And I'm like, let me defuse. Let me go think about my thoughts so that I'm not reacting out of anger or selfishness or whatever it is.

And I think we've gotten to a good balance now where he'll wait for me to be kind of ready to talk about the problem. That's a good thing too. Cause like people are different in the way that they handle whatever emotions they're going through, you know, and you have to respect that.

You have to respect their space whether they want to deal with it then or deal with it like just give me a couple minutes because Lexi will do that or even sometimes I will I'll do that like dude like let me just gather my thoughts like let me just gather my thoughts I don't even know what I'm thinking right now just give me a second and let's go back to this and like respecting that space is huge. I really think a relationship is just an everyday effort to better yourself

for your partner and I think that never goes away I think it doesn't even necessarily get easier because we're ever changing people and you have to be willing to ever change for your partner yeah and that's that's the thing too like when you're in a relationship like we're not in relationships to like get things out of someone else like it's not a transaction you know it's

It's to serve the other person. Being in a relationship has nothing to do. Oh, what can this woman do for me? Yeah, cool. Like you're going to look for a woman that's independent, that's going to love me, that's going to, you know, like do like the core things that you want for you. Yes. But like at the end of the day, when you get into that relationship, you're not in a relationship to get a transaction out of the person. It's literally to serve that.

It's like, what do you need? And it should be like that on both sides, like never being selfish, like, oh, can you go get this for me? Can you go like, yes, like little things, but like, like always wanting to make the other person happy on both sides. And that will literally just like

Blossom the relationship, you know, like I'll never looking to get something from the person but doing something for the other And I feel like naturally if you're pouring into the other person you're gonna get from the other person what you need like there's just going to be a mutual love and desire to Pursue each other and love each other that it it happens naturally when you put the other person first and not in like a

codependent my life revolves around this person kind of way but in the way that this is the person that you essentially want to spend your whole entire life with this person becomes your partner your other half they're part of you yeah you know you should always be wanting to lift them up and I think it goes a really long way and I think that part of the problem and what a lot of these questions talk about is like how do you find a man who's willing to do that because obviously

You once were different than you are now. Yeah. I also feel like if you're in a relationship that you don't see yourself being with for the rest of your life, don't even waste your time. Like you're not ready for the relationship or that person is not ready for the relationship.

And it's just like you need to work on yourself more or the other person. Like, you just save so much more time, you know? Yeah. You won't get your heart broken. You won't, you know, you won't find a bad dude that will just like treat you wrong. And then you'll have that, you know, trauma that you like, you won't have that. I think it's really important to...

stand on your worth and know your worth in the beginning of getting into a relationship. I put up with a lot of crap from crappy men just because, you know, we want to feel loved and we want to feel desired and we just want to be wanted. And I think that when you haven't necessarily had that yet, and I hadn't had it yet, I would just take anything that I could get.

I just think that in that point when I was just accepting less than I deserved, it's essentially because that I was accepting less than I deserved because I didn't really know what I deserved. But I think that everybody deserves to be with somebody who is going to pour into them 100% from the beginning. And you don't really know what that's like until you experience it. But I can promise you that it feels...

like peace and it feels like comfort and you're not constantly questioning if this person likes you or if they're talking to other people or if they're just leading you on. If you have those questions, the answer to them is probably not the answer that you want it to be. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like from the beginning. And I think there's a difference between little doubts and fears in your mind. Like when Gabe and I got together, I would kind of convince myself, oh my gosh, what if he's doing this? But he never once gave me a sign that he was doing something

any of those things. You know what I mean? But if a man is giving you clear signs, clear as day that he might be interested in other things or other people, or he's still prioritizing a million things above you, maybe that's not the one. And it's not even worth wasting your time with. Yeah. It's better to be single and on your own and working on yourself than to be waiting around for somebody who's never going to give you what you deserve anyways. Yep. And I

I don't think that there's any men listening to this. They're not usually, but in the rare occasion that there is, like, I think that that goes both ways. Girls can be just as dark and players and they can be worse than guys sometimes, you know? So I think we got lost a little bit, but let's go back to the questions. That was good. We just, we just went through the layers.

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Physical as in like? Like sexual. Okay. I want you to answer this as somebody that you once were because a lot of people who are in relationships are dealing with guys who are very different than the way that you are now. You know what I mean? I'm going to say before I gave my life to God, it wasn't all about physical, but that was a big, big part of it. Now, the reason that I think that it was a part, like just a huge thing was because I

Like, I didn't even know what to like a girl was. Like, I didn't even know... I didn't even know how to... You didn't know there was more to it. Yeah, I didn't even know what that would possibly feel like or look like or... There was only one lens that I really saw through and it was just physical. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Maybe it was just the way that I was raised or...

But it was hard for me to get out of that, you know, but God helped me through that. And like now with the person that I am now, like it has nothing at all to do with physical. Like that's like the last thing on the list, you know, which is so cool to like look back on and like and like see how much I have changed in that way. And it's just like it's so much more for the better, too, because like ever since we started talking like.

I didn't even, I had no thoughts in that with you. I truly just wanted to get to know you. Like, which I never felt that for anybody really. I never like wanted to like just sit down and be like, dude, like tell me everything about you.

No, literally when Gabe and I went on our first date, this man asked me every single question that you could possibly imagine about myself. What my childhood was like, what my hopes and dreams looked like. Literally, I mean, those might be basic examples, but down to so many details, he was so curious about me. And I think that

Sometimes it's really hard to find a man who doesn't prioritize the physical things more than something else. What advice would you give somebody who can't seem to find the right kind of guy who is interested in more than just physical things? I think a big one

And I think you'd agree with this is like the environment that you meet that person in says a lot. Like if you want to, and I've said this before on the podcast a lot, like if you didn't, you say this example to me, don't be in places of a person that you don't want to be or something. Yeah. It gets something like that. Like if you want to meet somebody who isn't interested in the party scene, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you're not looking for that in a longterm partner,

I don't think it's necessarily like or the best to spend so much time in those scenes because you won't find that person that is going to be the match that you're looking for. So if you're interested in somebody who, I don't know, reads or spends a lot of time outside, like you should read and spend a lot of time outside. And I think that it'll just bring the right people towards you or you towards the right people. Yeah. I don't know. I think I just got myself on a little bit of a spiral. But the next one.

Why do men not ask girls out in person anymore? In person? Like, why is everything about Snapchat and text? I don't know. I feel like if phones didn't exist, that would be way easier. But, like, now because we have that luxury, you know what I mean? Sorry. Now that we have that, like, luxury of not having to ask in person, I mean, I don't know. Like, if you're in class, if a guy doesn't have... The confidence? The confidence to ask you, I mean, like...

Do you think it matters that much? Like, do you think it really matters if somebody asks you in person or over text or on Snapchat? Like, I feel like there's levels here. I don't think it's that much of a big deal because like, honestly, looking back at like when I asked you, it was on text. You also were in Mexico. Here's the difference. Here's the difference. I think that if it doesn't matter how a man, a guy asks you out, if they're asking you out on a date,

I think that if you're getting a Snapchat saying you up or a text saying what are you doing right now late at night? I think that's a huge red flag. Yeah, and that's not somebody pursuing you. That's somebody pursuing the wrong things. Yeah

If a man texts you and shows initiative and says, hey, let's do this on this day, or are you free on this day to go do this? I think that's fine. I think that that's kind of just the world that we live in. And like, think about when you ask a friend to hang out, you ask them over text or whatever it may be. But I honestly would be more nervous if somebody asked me out in person. I would probably just... I mean, yeah, certain people would like that, but... It's just the world that we live in. I agree. I don't think it's that big of a deal. But I think that...

it depends how they're asking you because like even the act of asking someone out on a date is is like a big deal alone yeah like it doesn't matter what whether it's if it's in person then that guy's got some you know but that is good it's good it's good to like just just the the act alone like either either text or in person like that's a big deal you know it's a big deal for a dude

Yeah, no, I think it's, unfortunately, it's pretty rare now anyways. Yeah, yeah, I agree. The next one, this is the one that says, is the saying, if he wanted to, he would, true. We kind of answered it already. Yeah, we did that. But how would you, from your perspective, what would you answer that? I just don't like...

When like people say that, cause like a lot of guys don't know how to treat a woman. They don't know. And like, if they need a little help, I think that it's okay because like I was never in a position that I knew how to treat you, you know? Like, so it kind of like, it sucks hearing that because it's like some dudes just, they want to treat their girls so well. It's just, some don't know how to. And like, yes, like ask questions and this and that. Like I would ask you questions too. And like,

Ask you certain ways how you like how you would love to be, you know loved But at the same time like give the guy some grace I agree cuz like a lot of guys that are in relationships or like or people that aren't even in relationships they want to be a good guy to whatever girl they have or Want to have and like they just don't know how to be that person and like helping them along the way is not a bad thing

It's not a bad thing. I agree. I think, and like I said before, you can test out this theory by communicating something that's important to you and seeing what that partner or the person that you're seeing, what they do with that information. Do they just say, okay, and then never make any changes or do anything after you've discussed it?

But if they do make changes, I think that's a really clear sign that you're dealing with somebody who is receptive and understanding of you and wants to love you right. And is only going to improve in loving you. You know, I think the way that we both love each other has gotten so much better in the two years that we've been together. Yeah. Next. Does too much attention give you an ick? Think back to the beginning too. You know, not necessarily now in our relationship, but... I don't know. I would have loved...

- She texts me all the time. - Gabe was always more hands on than I was. Not in a physical way, in a pursuing me kind of way. Like I went from being super independent, no relationship girl, do my own thing, to being in a relationship with Gabe. It took me a while to be clingy and lovey dovey and give all this attention. But I think that came with time and now I think I'm more the clingy attention giving one.

But I think that that goes in waves. I mean, I think it's both. Like, I'm just as much as you. Yeah. I think that it depends on the person, but I think if you're with the right person, no attention should be too much attention. Yeah. Granted, I think that you should always have your own life, do the things that make you you, do things independently, alone. A cool saying that my dad told me since the beginning of our relationship, he said...

If a person doesn't like the way that you express their love, then that person is not for you. Period. Simple. Period. And I think all this goes back to if you're with the right person, nothing you do will be too much. Nothing you do will be wrong in their eyes, you know, because they want to love you just the way that you are. If you ever feel like you need to

completely change who you are at your core, like change your personality for a person that's not your person, you know? And it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. It means you just have different soulmates out there that you have to find, you know, but never, you know, stick around with somebody where you can't laugh as loud as you want to because they make you feel bad about it or you can't do whatever that you do, you know?

Okay. Do you get scared to show your insecurities or feel the need to hide them to be a man? I mean, in the beginning, I guess. Do you think that I would hide? I don't think that he does at all now, but I do remember very clearly in the beginning of our relationship...

You didn't necessarily know how to feel your emotions or what you were even feeling. Yeah. So we would kind of sit down. I remember Gabe would get super weird and quiet and I'll be like, what's wrong? And he would say nothing was wrong, but I could tell something was on his mind. Like something was stressing him out. But this man genuinely didn't know that he was feeling stressed out or overwhelmed or I forget what it was at the time. Or like jealous. Yeah. I think it was, it was that he just didn't.

and i know this sounds silly but literally did not know how to process those emotions or what the emotions were or how to feel them and i'm a very emotionally expressive person i mean i talk about my feelings to the whole world sometimes so it's really easy for me to communicate like my deep-rooted fears anxieties jealousies insecurities whatever it may be but i think that men

are more commonly raised without the ability to do that. It's just less common. I think that we all know that by now. - It's a part of society. That's just how we are seen. - They're taught to be strong and independent and no, never sad, never feel anything, never be overwhelmed. Like be the big strong man provider who never cries, you know? And I think that it's really cool in a relationship to be able to break down those walls

in each other. - Yeah. - And I think that it can take time, and I think that in the beginning of our relationship, Gabe was more afraid to be insecure about things or to openly tell me that he was or talk about his emotions. But now,

It's very seamless and it's very easy. And I think that our role in the relationship as a female is to make your partner feel safe and make them feel like they can do that. Because I think that once you create that environment, it becomes easier for them to talk about it. But I don't necessarily think that's a very easy and seamless transition. Like there's, there's waves of getting to know your feelings and your emotions. And I think that sometimes it can,

cause difficult conversations or arguments but I never think that means you should stop trying to do that and create that safe place for each other yeah I agree that makes sense yeah totally

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Next, how does it feel to be in love? We're only gonna be able to do like one more question because we actually have a train to catch but we have like five more minutes, so. I can't even explain it. I'm sorry. It's something that I can't even explain. It's like the best feeling in the world. It feels, it's like a security. It's like a assurance that like

you know that someone else loves you. Like to know that someone else is out there that you love and just care for, like you just care for someone so deeply, I don't even know. It's something so hard to explain. It's like some, it's someone that you want to give your entire life to.

and like serve or make happy. And when you find yourself like not being able to want to be apart from that person, I think that's love. I think it's an undeniable feeling. I think for a long time when I would talk to guys, I would be like, "Oh my gosh, what if I love this person?"

Like, that's not how love feels. You don't have to try to ask yourself if you love somebody when you love somebody because Gabe is my first love. That doesn't mean I didn't talk to guys that I thought, "Oh my gosh, what if I love this person back in the day?" But when I was with Gabe, after we were together a couple of months, like, it is a feeling

that you can't deny. It is just something that you know. It's when you want to, literally like Gabe said, do everything for this person. And this person can do no wrong in your eyes. It doesn't matter how weird, how goofy, how crazy they are. Not crazy, that kind of crazy, but just like goofy, I think. I mean, you love every single thing about them, every quirk that they have, every way that they speak. And it's just obsession, but in a good, healthy way. Yeah.

And sometimes it can get unhealthy. Yeah. I don't know. Like in the beginning of our relationship, I feel like I prioritized you like, and it's good to prioritize, but then I wasn't doing things for me anymore, which that can also be bad. Like, yes. Obsess over, you know, your partner, uh,

and like treat her like or treat him or her like a freaking king or queen but also don't forget about yourself because once you forget about yourself then it's like then you won't be capable to love that person

Yeah. At the best of your ability. I agree. It's also very natural when you're in a relationship with somebody that's new. It's fun. It's exciting. It's really easy to be completely captivated by each other. And I think that that's almost natural in any relationship. But it's really important to reel yourself back in and don't stick around in that codependency, I guess, for too long. Because it's so true. You love each other better when you love yourself first.

You know, when you do things that make you happy, when you chase your passions, it makes you a better partner to your person. Because like if if both people are trying to make themselves better, then you only become a better team. Exactly. I like that. You know, that's what my boss told me.

It's really true. But I think that if you find yourself in that little cycle of just being too deeply obsessed with everything that your partner is doing, reel yourself back in. Start pouring into yourself in little tiny ways. Do the things that made you happy before you were in a relationship and find a way to just do both. You can be both at once. And I think also it's important to recognize that if you're with a partner,

who wants you to give up yourself for them, that's not the person. And that's, I think a really, that's a start to an unhealthy cycle because there are a lot of relationships that exist like that, where you deal with somebody who wants you to only be theirs and nothing of their own person. Look out for that. Be with somebody who encourages you to do you, but also pour into them. Yeah. Okay. Wait, let's do one more.

What's the biggest advice to a couple going through a rough patch but still love each other? I got only one way of saying that. Go ahead, say it. There's a way of dealing with this that is not on a spiritual level and it's hard because when you have no hope in something that is greater than ourselves, it's just so hard to...

just like fall back and lean on something that you don't have anything to lean on. So like if you're going through a rough patch and you don't believe in like God or Jesus, it's like, it's like something it's, it's hard. I would say just trust that everything's going to be fine. Like if, if you guys love each other, then at the end of the day, it'll be fine. It'll just straight up be fine. Now on a spiritual level, I believe that like

God puts us through certain tests and puts relationships through tests and individuals through tests. And he puts us through these rough patches only to make us stronger. And like if the relationship is full of love, like you say, then there is nothing to worry about because it's just that that like.

It's almost like you can have a joy in the rough patch. Like you can be like happy that you're going through that and grateful for it because you know that at the end you're going to be fine, that you're going to be even more than fine. You're going to be stronger because of it. So that's just something that like, that's what, how we deal with it because that's how I deal with it. And it's, it's such a greater lens to look through and,

And not just a relationship, but that just goes for everything in your life. You know, like God puts us through rough patches, whether in a relationship or not. And like, be grateful that he does, because you're going to come out of whatever you're going through stronger than when you came in. Mic drop. No, but I think it's also just important to recognize that every relationship is going to have rough patches, right?

If you believe anybody who says a relationship should be perfect and you should never argue and you should never have differences and you should never like...

have patches that aren't as easy. It's not true, it's not reasonable. You're two completely different people with completely different backgrounds and ways that you used to live and ways that you process emotions coming together to become one. It is only natural to have moments where it's not gonna be seamless and it's not gonna be perfect and you're gonna have to talk through things. And I think that my biggest physical piece of advice for going through a rough patch is to one,

always communicate with each other that you have the same end goal.

Even in the moments where it can feel the darkest or it can feel the worst, remind each other that you're in this for the long run. You're not going anywhere. Gabe always has done that. Anytime he's brought a problem to the table that he knew would make me upset and might cause some kind of heavier discussion, he starts it out with, I love you. We're a team. We're going to get through this. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. I reassure her from the start.

I love you. Like just reassuring that you love the person with all of your heart. You want to be with them for the rest of your life and then you go and then it's just like a softer blow. And like sometimes it's still, it's still an argument. There's still tears. We're still humans, you know, like nobody wants to feel hurt no matter what that might look like. But if you go into it with that kind of reassurance for each other,

It's so much easier. And also just remembering that these moments are supposed to happen. Like Gabe said, they're moments that bring you closer. They're moments that make your relationship stronger. They are just things that pursue you forward. And I think that keeping that communication open, giving each other that reassurance, giving each other that reminder,

that's what's gonna get you through it. - Yeah. - You know, and you're gonna get through it and you know what, you're probably gonna have to face it again at some point in your life. But with those three things, I think it's very helpful and it makes it a lot easier.

And unfortunately, we have to end this episode. But if you guys want us to do this again, we would be happy to. Yeah, this was fun. It was actually really fun. This is cool. It wasn't that scary. It wasn't scary at all. But I also want to do, and they've been asking for this one for a long time, an episode where we just talk about our story and how we ended up together and all of the things. So we'll do an episode like that soon too. But I just wanted to give you guys this one and I hope that it could have been, and I hope that it was...

beneficial for you and that you took something away from this that was positive. Yeah. Stay blessed, everybody. Bye, guys.

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