Asking my mom a few things about raising kids (anxiety, rules, helicoptering, relationship)
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Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments podcast. Things are looking a little bit different today. I'm not sitting in my room and I'm not recording on my bed and there's no nobody making noise outside and Leia's not snoring into the mic and we have like legit microphones and cameras. I'm actually this is being recorded. Who would have thought? The real deal. And we have a special guest and her name's Mom. Everybody say hi, Mom. Hi,

Hi, Mom. Hi, Mom. I haven't done an episode with my mom in quite some time, but we used to do a bunch of episodes together. Well, by a bunch, we did like two episodes together. We did two. One in the car. Yeah, one in the car when I first started this podcast, and then one at the old house. Yes. So it only makes sense to do one in the fancy schmancy studio setup. But we are recording... Moments Podcast is about to have a few very awesome guests, and we actually had some time to kill, so this is a very...

Quick little bite-sized, nugget-sized, mom-sized episode. Yeah, anything you want to say to the people? No, no, I'm getting nervous. Yeah, I'm a little bit nervous too. It's pretty cool in here, guys. Since we're at Spotify, I don't know if I said that. Never in my life thought I'd be recording here because I feel so cool and so out of place. I'm having like serious imposter syndrome. But something about being in this chair with the microphone and the cameras on, I'm like, oh.

This is legit. Like, this is the real deal. Anyways, we're just going to, like, ask mom some random would-you-rather questions that come to my head because I don't know what else to talk about. I'm sweating. Yeah, she's sweating. She's nervous. I'm sweating. I'm nervous. But I'm trying to get my nerves out by doing this. Okay, I'll take one for the team. Yeah, she's going to take one for the team. I'm going to take one for the team. We're going to do this for the moments pod.

Yeah, no fear, no stress, no nerves. Okay, I guess my first question, like, am I ever going to grow out of my anxiety? No. No? No. That's the sad truth, everybody. I'm so sorry. Well, she says no, but I guess you've learned different ways to cope with it, right? Yes, like you learn...

to cope with it, but it doesn't necessarily go away. It still sneaks up. Still sneaks up. But the things, were there things that made you really anxious when you were younger? Or did you not really struggle with it when you were like, not even my age, maybe even younger, like 15 to 25? Did you feel the way that I get? I not to that extent. Like I try to like, she's like, no, I was never as crazy as you were. No, no, I was. I just feel like, I don't know, there was like,

So much going on. I don't remember feeling, like, anxious like you. I remember, like, I didn't like going into crowds. I didn't necessarily like going to clubs. Like, that sort of thing would get me, like, a little anxious. But you would kind of just power through. I would just, like, push through. Like, now I feel like you guys have so much more awareness of being anxious, okay? Like, if that makes sense. It does. It's talked about it, or it's talked about it, and it's known, whereas...

Back in my day, we didn't necessarily talk about it. So if you were having the feeling, you didn't really know what you were having. And you just kind of dealt with it. You're like, I can't tell my friend that I have this feeling. You just pushed through it and did it. So I don't know. There's the pros and cons to both sides of it. That's really interesting. And I think about that a lot too because before I knew...

Then again, I think certain situations are different. Like I when I had my anxiety in middle school, it was like an unavoidable bad. Like I had to call my mom and you guys know this story. I'm sure I've told it a gazillion different times, but I wouldn't get on the bus to go to school or I would like feel like I was going to throw up in school and I'd have to ask to go to the bathroom in class and just sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes and sleep.

I just physically felt so sick that I couldn't avoid it. But I think that the older I get, the situations that I feel anxious in are so much less severe. But the second that I recognize that I'm anxious, I like attach myself to it. And then I can't help but feel it even deeper. Like even before recording this for the past five hours, well, since I woke up this morning, I've been so anxious about it. But since I've known that I'm going to be anxious about it,

It's made me feel even worse. So like you, you think that it would be helpful for me. I mean, and for the listeners to just not, not label it. Like, don't, don't say you're anxious. Right. And try to, you know, stay busy, you know,

With other things, which obviously like, you know, we did today and went out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. But I think that's where it's like hard because I think talking about all this stuff is so important. But then the other side of like living when it wasn't talked about, like you just kind of went on. You didn't put so much thought and effort. You didn't know that you were anxious. Yeah. So you just kind of, oh God, I got like butterflies or whatever. And you just kind of.

went on and now you know to know about it and you think about it and you're like, oh, I'm having this, that. It's just, but it's important to talk about. It's a catch-22 thing. I don't know. I struggle with that because it's what you talk about and it's what's important. I think that it needs to be talked about to a certain extent but I notice even in myself, the more I talk about it and the more

I label myself with it, the more I'm going to feel it. And we all know this. We become what we think about. We become what we label ourselves as. And I think it's like equally important for me to always talk about these things that I feel and that I go through.

But with more of a balance of maybe not talking about it, not attaching myself to it. And that's something my therapist always told me, too, was like, you can feel it because it's unavoidable. Like when you're doing something nerve wracking, like getting in a studio and talking to a camera, whatever it may be that freaks you out or like talking to a new stranger, you're going to feel things. But if you and everybody is. Yeah. And if you just label yourself to it, you're so much less likely to.

get over it. Yeah. Well, thoughts, your thoughts become things. I mean, like what you put out there to the universe is kind of like what starts happening. It's what you start thinking about. So it's, it's fine to be like, Hey, I'm feeling a little anxious, like either to somebody or to yourself, but then move on from that. Like, this is great. This is exciting. Oh my God, look what we're doing. Like in grab onto that stuff. And I think people just hold on to,

all those labels. They hold on to them way too long. Yeah. And I feel like you can, like you just said, make it something exciting. Like if you are anxious about something, um,

You just have to keep lying to yourself until you believe yourself that you're actually excited for what you're doing. Fake it till you make it. And you're not freaking out. And it's all, like, the most cliche sayings, but faking it till you make it does actually work. It does. At least fake it till you make it until you get to the moment. And then you're, like, right there in front of the camera and you're like, um, okay. But, yeah, you just have to... Yeah, I mean, I fake everything I do. Yeah, my mom's the one who gave me my anxious, girly pants. I know. But I never knew that, really. Because...

I just she's always been so good at hiding it and I think that that's so one thing that's so cool that you do as a mom like you don't hide it to where you make me feel crazy if I do feel anxious but you're like I'm not gonna lead by that example no I will be act I will act really really tough and I'll go around the corner on the top of a until she has to walk across a log 30 feet in the air yeah there's certain things I just can't hold it in but like most of the time I will like

Put on my big girl panties and just pretend that I'm okay to get you through what you're doing. No, and it's cool too because when I see you do that, it makes me so much easier said than done. Like, oh, I want to lead by the example of not being the anxious pants that I am, but...

It's so much harder to actually do. But once you have your own kids, you will. Well, 100%. Because you're going to be like, wait a minute. I know my insecurities. Like, I knew my insecurities as a kid. And I've always said this. Like, I cannot pass those insecurities onto you. And when you were little, you used to, like, hang on my leg. And you wouldn't leave. And you would, like, hide behind me, like, if we were going to, like, dance or somewhere. And I would, like...

rip you off. I'm like, absolutely not. - I was really that kid? - Yeah, but then you got out of it. But you were that kid and you would cry when I would leave you and I'm like, there's no way. You cannot be that kid. And you cried when I left you at kindergarten and I was so tough and I ran around the corner and I cried and Kelly's always like, how do you do this so well? You don't want your kids to have your insecurities. So it helps you grow out of yours too though. I have grown just because

I've had to. You know what I mean? Well, so do you think that when you have kids, you don't really get to choose if they're going to be the kid that runs into the crowd of people and leaves you in the dust or if they're going to latch onto your hip? Because I feel like it almost doesn't. There's only so many things you can do. You don't get to pick that. And one thing I learned way back is you don't, you know, the mom is in the grocery store with her screaming kid. You don't ever say, my kid will never do that because...

There's a lot of things you can control and teach them, but there's also a lot of things that we cannot control. Yeah. And things that are inevitable. So it's like learning how to deal with that. So don't ever say like, oh, my kid's not going to take a Sharpie and call her on the couch. Guess what? Your kid is going to be the first one. Yeah. So that's where... There's so many factors that come into play. It's like whoever they surround themselves with at school, whatever your friends are, however your family members are. That's huge. There's so many...

tiny things that you pick up on as a kid, who your teachers are. One bad teacher can change who a kid's going to be in middle school versus a good teacher, you know? And it's just, it's so interesting to see, but that goes to say, even now, like the older you get to, to just pay attention to who you surround yourself with, because that's who you're. I mean, not that we want to make this whole episode about your future kids, but just think about your future self in general. Like who do you want to be?

Around yeah, and like be around people that you can look up to even when you're you know when you're little when you have When you're hanging out with a group of friends like hopefully you're with kids that are behaving like even when you guys were young You know what I mean? Like we were blessed that we had friends that all kind of parents at the same way and we did all did the same things but They you learn and you you know, you learn from everybody out there and as you get older that was like my number one thing to you constantly and

And you hated me for it. Oh my gosh. I've told you guys this story endless times on this little moments podcast. No, you just, you have to be careful. And just for getting labeled like guilty by association, but also, but for the way you feel, like how do people make you feel?

feel about yourself. No, my mom was such a stickler. I could not hang out with a friend. I could not hang out with anybody if she was not to know the parent. Like she had to talk with the mom. She had to know everything about this girl. Like, was she on the cheer team with me? Was she in a class with me? Like, who is she friends with? Like, who can she connect the dots with and figure out what this girl is like? And not in any way to be judgmental, but just to be protective of me and to make sure I was hanging around the right people. And

God, I could not stand it. I was like, mom, just let me go have fun. Let me do what I want. Let me be with the cool people and go to all the cool parties. And every, I sound like a broken record talking about this because I say it all the time, but it's so true that everything that she held me back from, I'm so grateful for. I'm so grateful for. So I guess I'm just saying like, listen to your parents because they're most of the time, they're, they're kind of right. Not all the time. Every situation is different. There's a lot of things that

I think I've been right about that you've been wrong about occasionally. Well, and then there's some things that you're going to not know that I was right about until you're older. Yeah. Like I started to realize that I can't expect you and dad and I talk about this a lot.

I can't expect you at 23 to have the same thoughts as I have at 46 because well yeah I've already lived so at times like I can be like and I think that's where as a mom you like try to help control you and and keep you on a path because you don't I don't want to see you fall does that make sense well that's just your mom instinct you have to sometimes fall to like

Learn so that's where it's hard because I'm like wait. I was there. I understand that and this but yeah Let me make mistakes Yeah, and I think that sometimes parents don't want their kids to make the mistakes at all So they will do everything in their power to make sure that they don't make the mistakes I mean think about make a lot of parents are so strict on every single test every single homework assignment every single way that you spend your free time your free hours and just like

helicopter parents almost like making sure I think there's a difference between that and a parent who wants the best for you, but also wants you to be able to learn things on your own. And I feel like you do a great job about that. With school I did that. Like I was never like a helicopter parent when like, I was never one to sit down and do homework with you guys. Like I kind of felt like. Yeah, well that's because, that's because my mom is, she is, she is the smartest cookie in the,

See, I don't even know the expression. That's how you know I'm your daughter. The smartest cookie in the box? The

The best tool in the jar? Oh, no. We're going to make up for it. She was... I swear she graduated with honors. I swear I graduated with honors. It's a family joke. My mom, I think her strengths are less in the school smarts and a lot more... She has so much common sense. That sounds... It's a weird way to put it. No, I'm street smart. It's a thing. You either have it or you don't. That's not something you can teach. Yeah. And an awareness of just real life things. Whereas I...

that's not the parent that helps with homework. Like my dad always helped me with my math homework. But even then you guys encouraged me to always do good in school. That was important, but to try my best and don't get me wrong. I got in trouble. I could not come home, like failing all my classes. But when I got a C in Spanish for the first time, I was in big trouble, but I like, I wasn't, I wasn't grounded. Like C's weren't allowed. Like they were not allowed. Like,

With your brother when he got his first C, like in second grade? No, pause. Guys, my brothers, don't even get me started on the oldest to youngest sibling changes that happen in parenting. But I mean, that's something that I feel like that's inevitable. But my brothers had so much more leeway. She says it's because they're boys. And I'm like, where's the feminism? Where's the girl power? I don't know. Boys are... But they still had to do stuff in school. But I mean, I wasn't going to like... Eventually, you guys...

You go off to college. So especially in high school, you know what's right and you know what's wrong. So I'm not going to sit here and hold your hand and make you do it because eventually you're going to go off and then you're just not going to do it. You just have to learn. It's the same way as if you were to be so strict when I was in high school. It's the parents that are the most strict.

that when their kids go off to college, it's like, freedom! Like, they go absolutely bonkers. They go crazy. No, we have a very open book relationship, and I feel like we talk about everything. We let you guys do a lot. I'd rather you, like, experience and live life living together

with us and home than off to college and not allowed to have sleepovers and not allowed to, you know what I mean? It's very. No, it's important. And I think that when I was more, so my brothers are 18 and 19. When I was like their age, I was open with you, but not as open as,

they are with you. But I feel like that's something you didn't know what to expect when I first went to college. You didn't know what that boundary was supposed to be. I was like my mom, but also a friend. But also, I was never one who was just going to be like, yeah, I went to this party and we did this and all. Like, even though I was never about, I was never doing anything crazy, but like, I wasn't talking to you. But I didn't know a lot of what you did. I just, you choose, like,

I also felt like I choose my battles of what I want to discuss. Like if I felt like something was getting to a point where it would be like out of control, I would bring it up and the rest of it. I just, you got to live a little bit. You know what I mean? You got to just like,

let it go. Like, oh, you know, oh, I think she's sneaking out or whatever it is. But like, you kind of choose because you got, I feel like you have to experience that. Like I went out my window. That's the thing. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's part of life. It's part of the memories. It's part of like, being a kid. I don't know. Like I, I've, I try to let you have as many of those. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's one of those at one point or another in your life,

You're going to need that thrill. Like you're going to do it regardless. So as a parent, like it's it's you just like you said, you pick and choose what your battles are going to be and what's worth. But I think for the most part, like your your main goal is to just make us remind us to be good people.

Like, we're going to drink for the most part. We're going to go out. That's all part of growing up. And you grow into it and then you grow out of it. Like, now I've already left that phase and I'm only 23. Everyone's going to go through it. It's just pretty much inevitable. Like, it really...

You're going to go through it. But yeah, no, being just being a good person, please. And thank you. And yeah, helping out at people's houses and. Well, those are the things that my dad always taught me from when I was little. His number one thing was one. He always told me, don't be stupid. And two, it was to be appreciative. So like when I would go, I was not always. I mean, I think for the most part, I had decent manners at home and I helped when I had to help with things. But.

Somehow it's been engraved in me since I was little that if I go to a friend's house or I go somewhere in public I'm picking up after people I'm you know help offering to help with the dishes or offering to help bring out the food or whatever it may be just like making myself useful when I go to people's houses and I think that was one of the coolest things that You guys taught me for so long because it's it's now that I get older I can see what other people are

had that instilled in them and who didn't. And I'm like, oh, you're just, okay. Yeah, like do your own thing. That's so cool. But I love that you guys taught that. I look at it as like, as long as I can send you out in...

People are like, oh, my gosh, can I keep your kid? Or they're so great. They helped with this. Like, that's what matters. Like, yeah, you're obviously watching what goes on at home. I know people always like, oh, you do too much for your kids and you clean. And I'm like, yeah, but then like I send them out. And guess what? Like parents are, you know, thanking me for having, you know, like raising such a good. So you watch, you know, you watch what goes on. And, you know, that is so, so important. Well, about the house chores. I.

I used to have to do so many chores around our freaking house. Like my dad would have a list. Mom, I had to clean the pool. I had to pick up the poop. Preston cleans the windows. The boys clean the poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also had to clean my room. This is the big thing for me. I would be grounded. I would not be able to leave the house until my room was clean. Granted, I made my house like my room was always a mess growing up. Like I was not a clean kid when I was younger, but neither are my brothers. They're worse than me. And my little mommy, she's like,

The little cleaning fairy goes in their rooms and makes their beds every single day. And, like, when they go to college, they'll figure it all out on their own. But I just get— Yeah, no, they will. I think—

I know. I don't even think I know. This is my theory. Preston is going to be like, I miss my clean bedroom and he's going to make his bed. And I already know like Colby's away and he's keeping his room clean. Like you miss a clean space. The only reason that I do do it so often, which especially for Preston's room, is because when I walk out of my bedroom, I pass that room every single day.

It's fair. And I like a clean space, so that's why I do it. And he's not messy. It literally takes me three minutes to do. Yeah. But your room growing up was upstairs. Nobody saw it. When we went downstairs, you didn't go back up there till night. Like, I would even say, and I'm going to admit, like, 50% of the time, I did not even make my bed in my room. Because I got up, I ran downstairs with you kids to get ready. I never went up there again. Yeah, no, I mean, that makes a lot of sense. You know, if you don't walk by a space, but...

a clean space, you just feel so much like, like if you have a messy room, you have a cluttered head. No, it's so true. That's, that's saying, and I think that's part of why my head's been so all over the place with just the house and, well, because everything's unorganized. Everything's like, it's very livable, beautiful, decorated, in,

In some parts now. But like I don't look around my house and I'm like, oh, no clutter. No, because it's the opposite. There's just stuff I get. And that's also why I do so much. Like that'll be like, why are you going over there and do that? I'm like, because I walk in and I instantly get like I get stressed out. So I know you do, too, because you can't. It's really hard to work and enjoy an environment like that when everything's in shambles. Yeah. So. Yeah.

It messes with you. Clear space, clear mind. It's so true. And I also think people give you a hard time sometimes about all the things that you help with, but you're just a mom. That's how I show my love. I can't cook. I can't cook. She can't cook. She can boil water and make or grill cheese. That's how I show my love. That's what I would want. That's what Abuela...

My mom always had a clean house for us. Our house was always cleaned. It was decorated for the holidays. Like, our house, it was perfect all the time. And that was my mom's job. Like, my mom was home and she stayed home with us. It's a little different with me, but, like, that's important to me. Yeah. And I just think that it's your natural instinct as a mother who's close with your kids, who can't be with them all the time. But, like, when you can, it's just...

It's just what you do. And it's what moms do for as long as they can, I feel like, sometimes. It's what Abuela does. She still comes over and does it. She'll grab laundry, and it used to bother me. And now I'm like, no, that's how she shows her love. No, my Abuela, guys, she's an angel on earth. Not even an exaggeration. She is just the most loving and kind person that has ever stepped foot on this earth. She does not have a bad bone.

in her body, I don't think, but she helps with everything. She'll come over, bring us dinner sometimes. And when I first moved into the house, she was on the kitchen counters scrubbing the bathroom mirrors. And I'm like, Abuela, get down. But she won't. She just, it's just what she does. She just helps.

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So you and Aunt Kelly mom very differently. How do you guys think you're different? And Aunt Kelly, by the way, is my mom's sister, but they're only 13 months apart, right? 15 months. 15 months. So they're really close. But like me, Allie and Bree and the boys, like we're all so different, but all such good kids. So...

And Kelly is a complete helicopter mom. Yeah. She is a. She's on them. She is the one that told me, my kid, like, how can you let your kids have markers and they colored on the wood table? And I'm like, it's a wood table. Like, they're kids. Kelly, I can't have.

three like I didn't go here Lexi take the permanent marker and color on the wall she just found it you know and my sister didn't understand that she's like you have to have it all put away and her stuff is put away well let's do it let's do a little backstory Aunt Kelly vacuums in the morning and at night you know when she had carpet it would have lines on the carpet

And I feel like that's just, like, that's her sense of control in her life. And I feel like you have... She's very controlled. You put your control into different things in your life, like your career or whatever it is. Or, like, projects. Like, that's why I literally, my head...

is crazy and my sister puts it all into helicoptering like the parents in her house being perfected and all that. I have learned to like let that go and she asked me all the time, how did you let that go? And I think a lot of it is dad because dad was like, he's so chill. We didn't grow up in a family like that. My dad was like, you were there five minutes early. Like you didn't ever and that's how we grew up and it was strict. It was crazy.

So when I got with dad, he was a polar opposite. So I think he took me out of a lot of that. So has dad always been like that? Yeah. He's always just like been like that. And he's just, we're just, our brains are totally different. And so I think he, I was able to let a lot go and she still can't like let it go. So she very, but her kids are so great. Oh my gosh. My cousins are like the best. They dance and they play soccer. And they're so smart and they do so good in school. But Kelly stresses herself out.

Yeah, I feel like she just drives herself insane. Oh my gosh, so much, yeah. But I also, they're so young too. Like yes, they're what? They're 11 and 13 now or something. But they're still young. Like once she gets through these next three years, I think. I don't know how she's going to make it through it. I don't know either. I say all the time, I'm like, Kel, I'm like, you're like this now? Like wait till Brie goes to high school. She's like, she freaks out when I tell her stuff. She goes,

But how do you handle that? I'm like, hell, you just have to like let it go. There's nothing I can do. You just have to figure it out. We just talk about it. Like I think I'm gonna have to put her in a padded room. I don't know. Like, I don't know. It'll be okay. Everyone gets through it. You have to go through it. You have to go through like the hard times, the good times, the sneaky times, the bad times. It's all part of what makes us who we are.

Even though I feel like as a parent, it's so scary. And as the person living it, when it comes to like the sneaky and the bad times, those are all fun and enjoyable. But like the moments where you do realize maybe you feel anxious and now you can sense all these different feelings and things going on in your body. You should always trust your gut. Like if you, this is one thing I've been huge on and it actually scares me sometimes because I like,

We'll try to control a situation and take it away because I just feel like, oh, my God, my gut is telling me this is not good. You know, but you really should trust your gut because it's never going to lie to you. And if you're getting weird, sick feelings, maybe sometimes you need to look around and like just step away and maybe make another choice or, you know, think about it twice. Especially when it comes to being in high school and being in the environment where there's so many people.

opportunities around you. You know, there's going to be a group of people who's drinking beers, a group of people chugging bottles of wine, a group of people doing some really bad things. Yeah. Yeah. You get to choose which route you go. And I think that, yes, it's important when you're in high school to go choose the fun thing that's everybody's doing, but just have an awareness of

Is this something that I would be proud of myself for? Like I can look back on everything that I did in high school and in college and I'm like, you know what? That wasn't so bad. I was, I was 18. Like I went to college, like I'm, I'm okay with what I did. Don't do anything that you are going to look back at one day and be like,

Oh, my gosh. Why did I do that? And sometimes that judgment is clouded, especially when you're in college and it's all new. But, like, nowadays it's really bad, too, though, because now everything can be, like, documented. It can be recorded. Well, yeah. We didn't so much have that. Like, I mean, we took pictures and, like, your pictures could be found once they were developed. But not like it is today. Like, today you have to...

watch your every move. I mean, something you're doing at 13 that's recorded, you know what? Like 15 years from now, you're running for office for some, you don't know where you're gonna go. - You have no idea where life's gonna take you. - And it's all gonna come back up. And so I just like, just you have to be careful. Everything that you do, be like, okay, but I want this recorded and documented. - Well now, I mean, my mom even told me that back when I was in middle school and high school, because that's first when Snapchat became a thing. Instagram was a thing. Back when I was in high school,

Everybody had a Finsta and I wanted a Finsta so badly. And I would make one every time she would find it. She goes, delete that. Get rid of it. Because she knows your digital footprint is there forever. And then again, granted, what I was posting on my Finsta was like maybe a blurred out beer in my picture. Not that that's okay when you're so young, but yeah.

Like looking back, there's just there was no need for it. It was not necessary. Like don't do things that are going to ruin who you want to be in the future. Like think about your dreams and your goals. And I just I emphasize this so much because I know that my audience is a little bit younger and my age. And like even now, it's something I recognize even when I go out again, not doing anything crazy. But I'm like, do I want videos of me slurring my words or downing a bunch of shots? Like it's not always necessary. So just have that.

And everyone's going to have those fun times and you're going to have them and you're going to have those, you know, videos where you go back and you laugh with your friends and, you know, dad does it. And, but yeah, just be, be aware, you know, and don't go publicly, uh,

posting all of this stuff either. If it's some, like, if you really think about, if you want to be president when you're older, because I'm sure there's people listening to this that want to run for politics. Like, like my mom just said, if you want to run for mayor, there's going to be people that don't like you when you try to reach your dreams and goals too. Oh yeah, yeah. You're going to have the haters that are, that want to find anything to take you down. Anything.

I mean when I was going to high school, and I had my bully my hater She would go through like every single thing about me to find something to get me in trouble Whatever it was like she had called my dad and made up some rumor about me doing craziness in the movie theater and like People are always gonna try to do that at some point in their life whatever you try to be even if you want to be a teacher or a school administrator just

Just keep that thought in the back of your mind as you move through these next years of your life. I feel like I'm the mother. That was not supposed to be my line. You're going to be a good mom. No, but it is something that I think about all the time because I do feel really glad that you made me that way because had you not taken away my Finsta, who knows what somebody who's a hater of me could have pulled up on the internet and like...

I don't know. You just never know. And no one's going to be perfect. You're all going to make, you're going to make the mistakes and. You have to. You're, you have to fall. And then you get back up. Yeah. And it's just, it's okay. Like you, as long as you learn from them and you don't continue to do them. Do you know what I mean? You get a speeding ticket, stop speeding.

Like once is okay. Like things are going to happen, but it can't be something that you're continuously doing. Like you need to learn from what you do. And you learn from it. That's what my therapist says. It's called a mistaki. You make the mistaki. You learn it was bad. You don't do it again. It's a decision if you continuously make the mistake. That's correct. And like, it's the first time it is, you don't know. Oh my gosh, that was an accident. Like, you know, I didn't mean to do that. I should have thought that through. I wasn't, you know, but you can't know until you go through it with so many things in life.

This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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Have to be a mother right now. Have three newborns handed to you. The same age differences as me and the boys. So I'm five years older than Colby and Colby is 15 months older than Preston. And that's all four years, four years, something like that. Would you rather do all of that over again or have no memories left from when you had to do it the first time?

I would not want to do that all over again. Yeah. And honestly, I feel like some of those memories are probably not the best. No. And you know what? It's well, it's kind of like having a baby. Like when you go through childbirth in the moment, you're like, I'm never doing this again. But you go back and you do it again because it's so good. Like the outcome. Like I could never imagine going back. Like, I don't know how we did that. Like, I don't know how we raise. Like, I remember like.

You being little and the boys and running up and down the stairs and trying to get one to sleep and the other would wake up and screaming and crying and like your dad just walking in the door and I would like just hand you over. Like it was mayhem. I don't even know. That's why I'm crazy. That's why I'm cuckoo. That's why I'm literally insane. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't. I look at people with like parents now.

and just in this world now, I'm terrified. Like, it's just, no. I can't even imagine. I can't imagine how, I mean, with all the iPads and not even disregard, like, disregarding the iPads and all the screen time that there is, the world is so much scarier. So scary. And maybe it's just because we have more awareness of it, but I don't think it is. I think it's,

We are genuinely living in a much more terrifying place than we were when you guys raised me and the boys There's absolutely no comparison like and I can't even see it like stopping and becoming a little normal again It's like I feel like it's like spiraling out of control, and it's it's really scary well I think it's absolutely gonna get more out of control before it goes, but it has to at some point level out because the world can't It can't continue like this like I

It's just too scary. Like, it's every... It's just... It's scary even just going out there. It's dark and scary. And we used to be able to run around the neighborhood at night. No problems. I know. And now it's like... I wouldn't let my kids outside at night. And I would hate to be that crazy mom, but...

And we lived outside. Like my mom would like they would lock the door and be like in the summers like you guys are gone for the day and we ride our bikes and set up forts and pack our lunch for the day. And we didn't come home until night, but we didn't have phones. We didn't have beepers. Didn't come into like high school. And, you know, it was very different even down to the little things like the roads are busier now.

You know? Oh, yeah. You can't just go walk. I don't even want dad riding the scooter across the street to go to Publix. Because it's crazy. No, people are crazy because they're on their phones when they're driving. They're distracted. We're all distracted, crazy, and going downhill. So I do. I would probably be a, I know I would be a little bit of an even crazier mom. If you guys were young right now, I don't know. I would almost like want to lock you up in a bubble. Yeah.

yeah well maybe that's why Aunt Kelly is a little bit the way she is because she's true at least six years difference and that's a big difference like it is it is yeah well unfortunately you guys we are kind of on a little cut for time I thought we were gonna keep this thing like short and simple but it's so fun I know I'm glad we did this we need to set this up at home like yeah guys we're gonna get we're gonna get legit at home like

this because you'll see even when I post some of these reels if you guys follow the moments Instagram you'll be like whoa she wasn't kidding it's legit no this is way this is like so legit and cool yeah well I love you guys we will talk soon and if you guys want mom back on for another part just let me know okay bye guys bye