BIG questions edition of 'Your questions, my advice' pt 1
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You're free to discover your way. And that's what running is all about. Run your way at NewBalance.com slash running. Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I'm your host, Lexi Hidalgo, and I am very excited for this week's episode. It's been a long time since we've done a simple little podcast.

episode. And I feel like it's pretty fitting right now simply because it has been a while. And I'm also in an advice giving mood. You know, when there's just phases of your life where you're like, you know what? I actually have something to say that might be able to benefit somebody versus other times in your life. You just don't want anybody to ask you anything because you would have no idea what to say. And your advice would be extremely horrible. Um,

Maybe that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't. But anyways, we're just going to get into it. I put on my Instagram story a little box and said, tell me what you need advice for. And I'm going to do two different versions of this episode, one this week, one next week. This is going to be short, simple, little tidbit kind of questions that I'll deep dive into. And next week's episode is going to be people's more specific experiences and my advice for those exact situations. Whereas this episode is a little bit more generalized, a little bit more broad.

You get the idea. You get the vision. I hope everybody's doing good. Happy February. Time is flying. I believe this episode is coming out.

Pretty close to Valentine's Day. So another episode I would like to do is just an episode of little Valentine's Day reminders, whether that happens or not. There's only one way to find out, but I would like to try to do something like that. But let's go ahead and get into it. The first one that I screenshotted is how to deal with acne and how to be confident with acne. Let me tell you one thing about our skin. Everybody's is different. Shocker. I know that sounds crazy. Who would have thought?

But truthfully, everybody's skin is on a different timeline and there will be people who never have a pimple in their whole entire life. I remember being so envious and sometimes still am so envious of my best friend because she has...

the world's clearest skin. Like her skin is a baby's butt. And when she gets a pimple, it's just like one pimple. Whereas with my skin, I get to be very insecure about my fine lines and my smile lines and the bags underneath my eyes and also my pores. Like, I just feel like there's a lot more blemishes, redness issues going on with my skin. And I

I've spent so much time in the past couple of years struggling with my skin because I was just being so constantly obsessed with it.

I was having really bad breakouts a couple of years ago. I don't know if anybody followed along for that journey while I was going through that, but I still don't know exactly what was causing it. I don't know what's made it better. I still struggle with it a little bit, but there was a point where it was really bad and I was having so much congestion on my cheeks and on my jawline and I was constantly picking at it. Therefore, I was constantly making it worse and I just could not get myself to stop thinking about it.

And where I'm going with this is to tell you that the more that you think about something, the more that you obsess about something, the worse that it is going to be. That goes for anything in our life.

When you constantly, constantly, constantly are thinking about how much you hate something, the problem doesn't go away. It only gets worse because it consumes your whole entire mind. And we physically make our bodies stressed when that's what we do. So my biggest tip to anybody who's struggling with acne is one, and this is the cliche reminder, but it's so important to know that you are beautiful exactly where you are at.

You are made to look this way. You are made to be this way. Your skin is made to go through these different things, these different cycles, these different chapters. It's part of you and it's part of your story. And your beauty will never take away from somebody else's and somebody else's beauty will never take away from your own. You are individually you. And don't forget that. But beyond that.

I encourage you to try to consume and fill your mind with something other than the constant thought of, oh my gosh, my skin, my acne. How come this person's skin doesn't have that? And this person has that. And I have to deal with all of this. The sooner that you can let go of that negative toxic thought cycle, the sooner that you will feel confident in your own skin, whether or not that means clear skin or not.

So the way I recommend doing that is finding a new hobby, trying something new, getting into something fun, filling your time with other things. And honestly, when I'm at like a kind of a low point,

I have to fake it till I make it. And I have to look in the mirror and I have to say some stupid, they're not stupid. They're actually very impactful. But at the time they feel like really stupid affirmations, but you tell yourself you're beautiful. You tell yourself you're made to be an individual and eventually your mind believes you, but it takes a constant effort and a constant desire to

to want to feel better about yourself. You know, if you are stuck in this loop of wanting to feel bad for yourself, you're never going to learn how to speak positively to yourself and about yourself. You get me. But as far as physical tips go, I think that one factor that really cleared up my skin and I'm not here to sell you like one product, because again, everybody's skin is completely different. What clears up somebody else's skin might make somebody else break out worse, but I kind of shifted from trying a million different things to

to simplifying my routine and my skin is by no means perfect still. I still have a lot of texture and I don't always feel that amazing about my skin, but it doesn't feel any worse or any different really than when I was using a gazillion different products. So what I do now is I simply use cleanser

I think any cleanser will do. Something clean, preferably. I use Face Reality. I used Face Reality for a long time, and I did kind of their multiple-step process, and I believe that it helped my skin, and I really liked using it. But now I just use the cleanser, and I use Beef Tallow, which sounds kind of crazy, and I was super against it at first, but...

It's weird. It's like rendered beef fat. Sounds disgusting. I was terrified of putting it on my face. In my head, I thought it was going to make me break out and clog all my pores, but it's actually very hydrating and I have really dry skin. So my skin's been eating it up. It's really liking it. So that's what I do. It might not work for you, but if you want to give it a try, that's my advice. Moving on to the next one. Body dysmorphia. Struggling hard, thinking I look fluffy and I'm constantly spiraling.

I screenshotted this one second because my answer is almost exactly the same. First is to recognize that your body is absolutely beautiful. First is to notice that the beauty standards that we have set, not just in this country, but in our whole world are extreme. They're unreasonable. They're fake and they're just not realistic. And a human body is supposed to be a human body. You're supposed to have fat around your tissue and your bones and your muscles. It protects you.

You're supposed to move a little bit when you walk. That's what bodies are for. Bodies are also the least interesting thing about us. There's so much more to each and every individual, who you are in your heart, what your personality is, the things that you love, the things that you create, the friend that you are, the way that you give advice, the way that you love the people around you. Those are the things that matter, not what you look like. But I also understand that we live in a world where it is very...

discussed what our bodies look like or what other people's bodies look like. And it can be really exhausting.

So I think that that's something to think about and something to remember that you don't have to feel that way. The world has just made you believe that you have to feel that way and you can let it go. It takes work. It takes effort. It takes affirmations. Like I was saying before, it takes just literally learning and using common sense to recognize that a human body is going to have pieces that move. It is going to fluctuate in weight. Some days you're going to be puffy. You're going to be inflamed.

Just recognize that. But more importantly, and I think that this is what really changed things for me because I've spent a lot of time in my life being really insecure about my body. Not necessarily insecure about the way that it looked, but more so just being constantly obsessed with it. Noticing the tiniest of changes in my legs, my arms, my stomach, my hips, my face, my fluff. I was just constantly trying to have it be perfect.

And it was causing me to be obsessed with it. And like I said about my skin, the more that you obsess over something, the harder it is for you to learn to love it. And the harder it is for you to just move on and pay attention to other things and not be consumed by it.

And the way that I stopped being consumed by my body was when I accidentally stopped working out. I want to say it was January of 2024. I had a lot of things going on at the time. I was super stressed and busy, so there was no time for me to work out. And previously to that, I would go to workout classes at least a few times a week. Like I loved working out because I loved feeling healthy. But underlying that love of feeling healthy, I also was constantly thinking about my body.

And when I couldn't work out for a month, the month went by. I looked in the mirror and realized I look exactly the same, but I wasn't worried about what I looked like. I wasn't hating on what I looked like. I was just looking in the mirror and looking at a body, not looking at a body that I wanted to change, if that makes any sense. So I think that by stopping working out, I was naturally looking at my body less. I was naturally thinking about what I was eating less. I was just

eating more intuitively without even realizing it. And it helped me a lot. Ever since that point, I do strongly believe that I've had a completely different relationship with my body. I've been able to look at my body as a gift, as a gift that can move, that can walk, that can breathe, that can dance, that is the reason that I can exist. And it's really important to notice your body in that way versus something that you constantly want to change. To have a body is a gift. It's not necessary. A lot of people don't.

People dream of being able-bodied and we complain about being able-bodied, you know? So I think that that's a really important thing to remember. And also just to recognize that it takes work. It takes constant effort to change what you're thinking about. But I guess that my personal advice would be stop yourself from being in opportunities where you're constantly thinking about changing your body.

I love to advocate for being healthy and I think that working out is an incredible thing, but I think that if you are stuck in this loop, take some time away from it to just evaluate and to just let your mind prioritize different things.

And I promise you that feeling of like fluffiness and inflamedness goes away because I'm pretty sure that that's something that we convince ourselves that we're struggling with when in reality we're not. We make ourselves so stressed that it causes us to be more inflamed or more puffy or whatever it may be. You know what I mean? I learned that one firsthand and I really do swear by that. That is coming from personal experience advice. Next.

Best friend and ex liking each other after you guys both broke up. Girl, let me just tell you one thing. Drop them both. Slowly but subtly. I've heard a lot of success stories where this happens, and I could give you a personal one, for example, but this is a very niche situation. And if you've been an Avid Moments listener, you might know this story, but my best friend Meredith and I both had a crush on the same boy.

And usually having a crush on the same boy would tear two people apart, would make them hate each other, would make them want nothing to do with each other, would make them jealous of each other. But it turns out for Meredith and I, it was the thing that bonded us and made us completely inseparable and attached at the hip. That being said, the boy that we both liked was an absolute garbage bag.

like garbage bag, was mean about people, talked negatively about people, was playing the both of us. So I think that's why the situation is pretty niche. I think it's very different if you and your best friend like somebody and you date them and then they come around and want to date that person. I think it's icky behavior. I think that sometimes...

Love is bigger. And if you witness them and feel like what they have is maybe something that's really real, I don't know. It could be, but I don't think that that needs to be an environment that you keep yourself around in.

I don't think you deserve to be around people who have hurt you, who think that that's like acceptable behavior, who even allow themselves to fall down a spiral like that. I think it stems from some kind of insecurity within the both of them, some kind of desire to get back at you. And again, I say that all with a grain of salt because I don't know the exact situation. Could

Could be true love for all I know. But from what I can see, you don't deserve that. And I think that you need to have a conversation with your best friend, the ex. Well, he's the ex for a reason. Clearly, he's a garbage bag and he is just going to likely hurt the both of you. But your best friend, on the other hand, she should know better than that.

And you should have a conversation and just see how it goes. You know, if the first response is defensiveness and anger towards you expressing your feelings, maybe that's showing you more of her character. And maybe you should take note of that. And moving forward, just find some distance. I know it's really hard to do that with a best friend because you want to defend a best friend. You want to see the best in them. You want to never lose them. But the reality is some people...

aren't real best friends. And there are people out there who will be a real friend to you. And I know it might feel like there's not, but don't stick around in a friendship that is only going to hurt you in the long run. It's better to be lonely for a little while than to be a best friend to somebody who's never ever truly going to be a best friend to you. You know what I mean? Also, I'm sorry. That's a no fun do-do situation for sure.

Little intermission and I love this one guys and you will too. Do you know how many subscriptions that I've been signed up for that I had no idea that I was paying for? As somebody who is very forgetful and extremely ADD, I constantly think that I cancelled subscriptions that I just absolutely haven't.

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A quick little intermission, you guys. I'm telling you about something you've heard me talk about many times before, and that is therapy, because I love it. The Moments Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and I am honored to tell you and remind you how important and how incredible it is to be able to talk to somebody about whatever it is that you're going through, to get to know yourself better, to get to know what to look for in people better, and to just have a

a better understanding about how to feel good and be good.

I'm obsessed with therapy. I love therapy. Even if you're happy, if you're sad, it doesn't matter what you're going through. It is just beneficial for you to learn and gain knowledge. And I want you to know that BetterHelp is fully online. They make therapy affordable and convenient, and they serve over 5 million people worldwide. You can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. And you can easily switch therapists at any time with no extra cost. So if you're interested in learning more about BetterHelp,

Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments. Next, not liking people I hang out with. I've been here. I went through this. I knew from the start there was a group of people I was spending a lot of time around. It's something just didn't feel right. I didn't like the way that they spoke about others. I didn't like the things that they talked about. I didn't necessarily...

Like the things that they were doing, but this kind of ties into the last one. I kind of felt like it was my only option and there was a part of me that did enjoy it because I felt welcome and I felt loved. And I think sometimes you have to realize that just because you do feel welcomed and you do feel love, that doesn't necessarily mean that those are your people. When you're surrounding yourself with people, ask yourself if those are people that are going to build you up.

Are these people who are going to inspire me to chase my dreams? Are they people who are going to inspire me to be motivated, to do better, to be a better person, to seek God, to get outside, to do something that moves you forward? I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more. We quite literally become who we surround ourselves with. So if you're surrounding yourself with people that you don't want to become, it's something to think about.

But it seems that you've already come to that realization. And now the question is, what do you do next? Like I said before, it's better to be lonely than to stick around with people who are only going to hurt you in the long run. But I think that it's important to just go forward.

Start doing some things alone. Start doing things outside of this group. Start reaching out to new people. You know, if you run into somebody at a coffee shop who's like your age and she's wearing a cute outfit, tell her she has a cute outfit. You know, push yourself out of your comfort zone to build new friendships. I think a lot of times people stick around in the wrong crowds because of the fear of building a new friendship. And I know what that can feel like. It's really hard to make friends. It's really scary to meet new people when you have

the comfort of the people that you've been around your whole life.

But it's worth it to step out of your comfort zone because I'm telling you that when you do step out of your comfort zone and you introduce yourself to the right people, you're only outside of your comfort zone for about five minutes because with the right people, it will click. It will be easy. Conversation will flow. You will have things in common. You will have things to talk about and it will come naturally. But you just have to take that one step. And then after you take that one step, the rest is easy. But I encourage you to do that.

And I think just kind of pray on it, sit on it, think about it and let God do his thing. You know, voice to him that maybe you want to find some new people in your life that can push you to be better, to be kinder, to have more fun with. And he'll do his thing. I can promise you that. Next, being single in your 20s.

Girl, this is a good thing. I could give you some advice, but let me just tell you the first bit of advice I have is this is a wonderful thing. I think that any chapter of life that you spend single is beautiful. It is a God-given gift. I think that the opportunity to be single gives you the chance to learn to be alone, to go do things alone, to figure out what you like, to figure out who you are, to figure out what you enjoy.

I think that if you're constantly in a relationship and you're seeking a relationship constantly, it's really hard to find yourself because when you're pursuing somebody, you morph into them. This happens subconsciously. It happens when we don't realize it. And if you don't have a strong foundation to stand on of who you are, what your morals are, what you enjoy,

you can easily lose yourself while you're pursuing other people. So I think that taking time to be single, taking time to build this foundation, taking time to just enjoy being alone, being on your own, vibing without chasing somebody is so important to you because it is much better to be single and quote unquote lonely in your 20s than it is to be in a relationship and lonely in your 30s, 40s, 50s.

Because you're going to feel lonely even if you're in a relationship if you've lost yourself along the way. The most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself. So if you build that, the relationships that you have in the future are going to be so much healthier, so much longer lasting because you're going to have gravitated towards the right people and brought the right people towards you because you have a firm foundation of yourself that you're standing on. You know what I mean? I think that being single is incredible.

Because then, when you spend enough time single and you do meet the right person, everything flows into place. The next one. How to prioritize my faith and how to help my partner prioritize his faith. I have to say, I feel really grateful and I feel really blessed that Gabe is the one who kind of guided me to learn how to prioritize my faith. Because I watched him do it. I mirrored his actions.

And I had a really good mirror to look at because Gabe is the kind of person who does something and does it fully. And when he learned about Jesus and he wanted to chase Jesus, that's what he did. He got in the word. He got in the Bible. He started reading that thing every single morning. He started praying with me at night, every single night, every single day. He was seeking a relationship with God.

And I got to experience that. So I think that in, in your situation where maybe it feels a little bit like the opposite, where you kind of feel like you're the one being the spiritual leader and you're being the one to guide. I don't think there's anything wrong with that in the beginning. I think that everybody's on their own walk with faith. And I think that if you're with a partner who's even receptive to that idea, you're

You're on a good path, you know, and that's somebody who could eventually find their faith and find Jesus and just become new through him. You know what I mean? But I think the best way to guide your partner that way and help your partner in his faith is to be that mirror. Be constantly seeking Jesus because when you constantly seek Jesus, Jesus changes you from the inside out. You radiate a different kind of aura. Essentially, you're happier. You're more positive.

confident, you're more secure in what you're doing. You're a kinder person. You're more happy and bubbly to be around. Your patience lasts longer. You're less moody or less angry. Granted, you're still a human. Okay. You still have hormones to deal with, but God slowly makes you better. And I think that when people watch you change for the better, they're

They want a taste of it. They want to know how to feel that way, whether they say it or not. I know that that's what I felt very much. So with Gabe, I watched the piece that he had, the energy that he had, the kindness that he had and just radiated. And I secretly, I wanted some of that and I wanted to know how he got it. So I mirrored what he was doing. And that caused me to build my own relationship with faith and my own relationship with God and love.

It was pretty freaking amazing. So I think that that would be my advice. Also, just give it time. Know that faith is a slow journey for some people. It is a walk that takes a really long time to understand. And I was deeply one of those people. I was kind of just in it, but also out of it. I didn't really know if I believed what I was reading, if I believed what I was saying I was believing.

Until it happened, until something switches. And I think that just giving people and recognizing their own timeline and never being too forceful with Jesus is the best way to bring people to Jesus. You get me? Next, how to find your purpose and stay hopeful when everything seems to be going wrong. A lot of these things I feel like I have some hard evidence or hard advice towards.

But for me, the biggest thing that has helped me in staying hopeful when everything seems to be going wrong is my faith, is trusting in God, is believing that there is a higher power who is in control of me and every step that I take and every action that I make and every decision that I choose. There's somebody guiding that. Somebody that I can't see, something that I can't feel, but it brings me a different kind of peace. And for me, that's Jesus. So when I...

I'm feeling like that. I read the Bible. I pray and I blindly follow and I blindly have faith that God is doing this to me for a reason. God is putting me through this struggle for a reason. For me, when my anxiety is really bad, it's hard for me to be like, Jesus is doing this for a reason. And something that I tell myself is,

is that maybe God is putting me through this so that I can help somebody who goes through this next. God is putting me through this, what feels like torture in this moment, so that I can help somebody avoid going through this torture in the future. He gives us each our own battles to be able to help people through their battles. And I think that looking at my struggles like that,

helps me when I'm lacking any bit of hopefulness. And as far as finding your purpose, whatever your purpose is, you're going to enjoy doing it. You're going to get excited to do it. If you absolutely hate it, it's probably not your purpose. And it might feel like you've tried a million different things and you hate them all, but the right thing, you won't. I think that just continuing to listen and

to your heart, your mind, the voice of God, signs, coincidences, whatever you want to call it. Looking for those little things and feeling for them will guide you closer and closer to your purpose. What makes you feel high on life? What makes you feel joy and happiness beyond anything else? That's how you know you're on the right path to your purpose. And I'd also like to note that your purpose doesn't have to be your career. It's awesome if those two can align.

But not everybody's purpose has anything to do with their work. Sometimes their purpose is completely outside of their career. And I think that's an important thing to remember because I think that we can get really confused and believe that your purpose has to be your whole entire life's mission and the way that you make an income and the way that you provide for a family and this, this, this, and that, yada, yada, yada. Awesome if it is, but it could be completely outside of that. It could be what you do after work, what you do before work, what you post on the internet alongside your work.

Who knows? Only you can know. We have to keep trying. Next, losing yourself to routine slash lacking clarity and ambition. I watched a TikTok the other day and it really made me kind of wake up and think about something here. Do we expect to...

Find our purpose to be this incredible version of ourself that impacts the world that feels good. Even if you don't really give a crap about impacting the world, when you are the best version of yourself, it is likely that you will impact the world in a positive light.

The only way that you can get to being that person is by making changes in your life and taking care of your mind and your body and physically doing things that are going to push you forward. My biggest weakness and the thing that I fall into the most is like doom scrolling. Like I'll go to TikTok to edit a video, post a video, make a video, whatever it is. And I'll end up scrolling. Scrolling does nothing good for you.

Yes, there's great videos that can leave you inspired and spark some inspiration in you. But when you see those kind of videos, that's when you should log off and go do something of your own. You know, don't feel inspired by a video and then scroll to the next one because that's how you ruin your intention span. And that's how you get stuck in the doom scroll. Let me tell you that much. Like if you see a video that says time to get off TikTok.

Bro, someone's telling you to get off TikTok. Put it down. You know what I mean? It couldn't be more clear in your face. I say that so harshly because I'm saying it to myself, never trying to attack you. But seriously, nothing changes if nothing changes. So I think that for me, the best way to find clarity and ambition is to just take baby steps and wake the F up and do something productive.

I often believe in talking to yourself with grace and kindness and giving yourself compassion.

But girl, something's got to give. If you got to talk to yourself with a little bit of sass, a little bit of in you, now's the time to do it. Now is the time to do it and to just get yourself to take the first step. Because after the first step, it's easy to talk to yourself with grace. It's easy to move in the right direction because I'm telling you, we get high off the little things. When you go switch the laundry, you're kind of excited to do the next load. Am I wrong?

No. When you get to the gym, you go on the treadmill for five minutes, you're like, oh, I could do five more minutes. Maybe I'll go do a bicep curl. If you start writing in your journal, you're like, hmm, I want to do a little more of this. When you start, you want to do more. You want to be better. It's human nature. We're all a little bit competitive with ourselves in our own mind, and I do believe that sometimes that's a good thing. So that's my advice. Take it as you will. Next. Next.

How to know what to do with your life. I think this kind of ties back into the last two that I just spoke about. Figure out what you like. Figure out what makes you happy a little bit. What kind of people do you want to be around? What kind of environment do you want to be around? If you are somebody who absolutely hates the snow or absolutely hates the humidity and you live in Florida or you hate the snow and you live in, I don't know, somewhere freezing, Alaska maybe, somewhere cold, Florida,

You might be young right now, okay? You might be 15, you might be 16. It's not like you could just pick up and move across the country at this age. But I think when it comes to figuring out what to do with your whole entire life, you have so much time to figure that out. But think about those kind of things. When you get to a point where maybe you can move, maybe you have an opportunity to try college somewhere else, maybe you have the opportunity to take a job somewhere else. If that's an opportunity for you in an environment that you like, in a climate that you like, I think that you should try it and that you should go for it.

And I think that on a bigger scale that applies to everything in your life, okay? If you hate something, don't get stuck doing it. That doesn't mean you're not going to have to do things you don't like in your lifetime. You're going to have to go to school. You're going to have to take your exams. You're going to have to live with your parents for a while. You might have to live in an apartment that you hate while you save up money. It's not always going to be perfect, but it's always going to be something worth appreciating because if you're working towards something,

a life that you desire, you won't feel bad in those moments that maybe aren't as desirable. But keep in mind what the end goal is and don't lose sight of that. Because if you do, you're only going to build resentment for yourself down the line. You get me? But I think to know what you're going to do with your life, most importantly, do what makes you happy. Cliche, simple, basic, I know, but real. Real.

Even if your career doesn't make you happy, do something outside of your career that makes you happy. Maybe it's volunteering. Maybe it's crafts. Maybe it's being a content creator. Maybe it's, I don't know, swimming with dolphins or scuba diving. Do that outside of your career. Create the time. Learn to make room for the things that you love. Because granted, life isn't always going to follow and flow perfectly to where we're going to be able to be doing things that we like 24-7. But you can always make time for them. Always. Always.

There's no excuse. If you have time to be listening to this right now, that's time to be doing something that you like. I mean, keep listening because I love you being here and I'm very grateful for you. But that's what I mean. You know, replace the time that you scroll. Maybe not this because this is, I believe, I like to believe beneficial for all of our minds. But the time that you're scrolling and sitting on Instagram, go do something else with that if you're not feeling happy in your life. Next, I don't even know if that answered the question. I'm sorry. What do I do when my boyfriend isn't equally yoked in the Lord?

I want to do an episode with my fiance, Gabe, because there's a lot of pieces or people who have asked for advice, like relationship advice. And I think that it would be cool to offer both of our perspectives since we're like two completely different individuals in a relationship. And I think that having more perspectives is better when it comes to advice about a relationship. But what I could tell you is like I said earlier, be that mirror.

Be the mirror. Show your partner the way that the Lord has changed you in a tasteful way. Let it show without you having to scream it from the rooftops. Actions speak a lot louder than words. So instead of shoving Jesus down someone's throat, let them see Jesus in you.

Because it has a very different effect on people. And to be completely honest, if you're with a partner who's not even receptive to the Lord, not even receptive to you wanting to seek the Lord and you wanting to have this relationship, that's God giving you a very clear sign. Maybe that's not the one that he made for you.

And I know that's kind of a hard thing to hear sometimes, but we know it's true. And I wish I could sit here and read you scripture. I don't have anything on the top of my mind, but the word makes it nice and clear. And if you're feeling confused, if you're feeling doubtful, pray on it, open your Bible and see where it leads you. Because every single answer is in there. That thing is alive. You know, listen to the Holy Spirit. It's in you for a reason. Next, dating after a breakup.

Can imagine this is hard I can imagine this is difficult, but I want to backtrack to something that I said before Enjoy the area and the chapter of singleness Enjoy time to reflect on your relationship on why it didn't work things that did work and things that didn't What you want to carry with you in the next relationship that that other person provided but also for yourself and

What do you want to leave behind when you move into your next relationship? It's really easy to believe that none of us have problems. I know, but the reality is that we, we do. And sometimes we're the ones who bring negative to a relationship. And sometimes that's for a reason. It's for us to learn going into the next relationship, what we do and don't want to bring into it. So I think that taking time of singleness is important because you can recognize and register these things. I encourage journaling. I also recommend,

If you are at that point where you've had the time in the singleness and you are ready to start dating again, go try to find people in places you would want to be. Don't go trying to find a man in an environment that you don't naturally find yourself in or you wouldn't want to find yourself in. Maybe if you're not into clubs...

Don't go to a club to try to find a man. There's nothing wrong with people meeting in a club or like being people that like to go to the club, but why force yourself to be with somebody that doesn't align with you if you don't have to, you know, I think that that's very important. And also just reminding yourself as you move into this next chapter of getting to know somebody again, remind yourself that you are perfect the way that you are.

Not to say there's not things that you could improve on moving into the next relationship. I know I just said that, but what I mean is the person that you are at your core, your personality, your beauty, you're exactly made that way for a reason. And the right person out there is going to love it. And I think that just because one relationship went wrong,

Don't stop yourself from believing that the right one exists. I think it's really easy after a breakup to be like, well, that's the end. That was my soulmate. I give up on love. It must not exist. It does. And the sad truth is that oftentimes you have to go through the heartbreaks to find the right people because you can't appreciate the good in somebody. If you've never had the bad, you can't appreciate the good in yourself. If you've never experienced the bad and grown from it and changed, um,

So just remember that, okay? Quick little intermission and let me tell you guys, this is such an exciting ad for me to be doing because as you may or may not know, I just recently got engaged and it was the best day of my whole entire life and I am so beyond excited to marry the love of my life and to just go on this next venture together. But one thing that is absolutely horrifying for me is planning a wedding.

And I heard of this company called Zola. And for me to be telling you about them is just so cool for me because they're amazing. They make everything so easy. And what it is, it's modern wedding planning for modern couples. No lie. With Zola, you can plan your entire wedding in one convenient place. Not only does Zola have every tool that you need to make planning enjoyable, from making your vendor search non-anxiety inducing to wedding websites and everything.

Helps you with an instant registry that you can literally build out with one click. They also just really get you. There's no right way to do things. There's only what's right for you. And Zola will have your back from day one to day wedding day. Start planning at Zola.com. That's Z-O-L-A.com. Trust me, guys. I don't even know where to start. And Zola has made this extremely, extremely better. So just go check it out.

You guys, I'm telling you about a really good podcast today. It's called SheMD and they're on a mission to change the world of women's health by educating one woman at a time with the knowledge and expertise to be their own health advocate. It's amazing, it's incredible, and you're going to leave this podcast learning something. It's a go-to resource for empowered women. SheMD offers health insights that empower women, helping them stay informed and proactive about their well-being at every stage of life.

It's hosted by industry icons. They cover relevant and timely topics from fertility to PCOS to mental health and menopause. SheMD tackles all the major health concerns, all from the lens of a woman, which we love. It's an inclusive and uplifting community. They break down stigmas. They empower listeners to take control. And it's going to become your Tuesday wellness ritual.

New episodes drop every Tuesday, keeping listeners motivated, informed, and connected throughout the week. It's a mix of the biggest names in Hollywood and the greatest minds in the medical space, all from the lens of a woman. So check out GMD wherever you get your podcasts today. Tips for living by yourself. Have fun. Soak it in because one day you're going to live with a partner. I mean, maybe, maybe not. And it's equally as beautiful in its own way.

But living alone is to this day, one of my favorite chapters of my life. My best friend, she was terrified, terrified of living alone. She said, I'm not doing it. I refuse. I literally forced this girl. I'm telling you, I said, you have to do it at least once. And I will say this to everybody ever live alone for a little bit. No roommates, no partner, just you.

Because solitude is important. Enjoying your alone time is important because like I've reiterated a million times, knowing yourself is essential to a happy, successful, fulfilled, amazing life. You have to know you. Okay. And living alone really forces you to get to know yourself. You spend a lot of time talking to yourself, being responsible for yourself, doing all the chores by yourself. And it's absolutely wonderful and incredible. But my tips are, um,

to embrace it. Don't try to fill your time with doing things with a bunch of people because you're afraid to spend that time alone in your own home. Enjoy it. Learn to cook meals for yourself. Learn to go journal and scrapbook and print out pictures and I don't know, make vlogs to yourself. I used to talk to my MacBook video photo booth all the time and it was awesome. Learn to keep your space clean. Keep your mind uncluttered and just

Figure out, you know, what chores are you liking to do? I think that when you only live with somebody else, you don't even know what chores you like to do. You just do what you have to do or what somebody else didn't do for you. And it's kind of fun to know what you enjoy doing. I find it really therapeutic to clean my house now and vacuum my floors, but the dishes, heck no. Hate them. I wouldn't have known that if I didn't live alone though. Next, how to read my Bible every day and take care of my anxiety.

To be honest, the two go hand in hand. Reading my Bible every day helps me a lot with my anxiety. That's not to say I don't have days where I do feel anxious, but I think even if you listen to this episode, or not this episode, you've listened to this podcast, you've watched me for a while, it might be physically clear that the way that I handle my moments of anxiety are a lot different now than they used to be. It used to feel like the end of the world. And now, even when it does feel like the end of the world, I can just...

turn it off pretty quickly and I can recognize that it's not the end of the world. But I think that I recommend reading one chapter of your Bible a day and read consistently. Consistency is key because if you read one chapter a day of the Bible, I recommend you start in John or Mark or Matthew, because all of these will tell the actual story of Jesus. And it's a wonderful place to start because you can read it like a storybook.

book. But if you're not consistent every day that you go back to reading the next chapter, and if you skip a few days, you're not going to remember what you read previously. And it's not going to be a fun story to follow. They think about how fun it is to read a book when you're literally so locked in for hours and you're just living in the book. The Bible can be like that and it can be so much fun. You just have to be consistent with it. So that would be my advice. And I think that as far as anxiety goes, um,

Getting in the Bible helps, but also so does going for a walk. So does putting on your favorite song. I think that there's a lot of different ways to pull yourself out of an anxious moment. And in every anxious moment, that way is going to look different. There's been days for me where reading my Bible almost makes me feel more anxious and I need to just clear my head before I can read my Bible.

Listen to your heart and know that, you know, what one solution you think might work might not be the one that actually does. So don't give up on trying just because one thing doesn't work. You know what I mean? Next, how do I put God's voice above what the world says? I think this is something I'm still really figuring out. To be completely honest, I think that I'm having a hard time with it myself because the world is really loud.

But one thing I've learned is that God's voice is louder when you give him more time. The more that you pour into him, the more that he will pour into you. If you spend more time in the world, you're going to hear the world louder than you hear God. If you spend more time with God, you're going to hear God louder than you hear the world, if that makes sense. And I think that ways that you hear God are by listening to worship music, by prayer, by spending time with him when you just go on a walk, just thinking about God.

thinking about Jesus and you know, everything that he gave up for us all the way that he's blessed you in your life and reading the Bible and just learning more about him and seeking a friendship with him will help you hear him better. And I think that there are still times where the world is going to be louder, but constantly be seeking him. And I think that that's how we learn how to hear him more. You get me next, how to help friends through grief.

I think that this is very situation dependent, but I think that my overall advice is to literally just be there. Offer a hug, offer a meal. Let the person who's grieving tell you how to help them grieve. Every individual grieves differently. Some people need space to process their emotions alone. That doesn't mean you can't send them a message that you're thinking of them. Some people need attention and love.

And those people will find a way to make it clear to you. But you have to be really, really focused on the person who's grieving. Notice the little things about them. And you'll be able to read how to help them. Next.

Feeling like your boyfriend's mom is always getting in the way of the relationship. I think this is unfortunately more common than people realize. I think that a lot of moms and sometimes it's totally unintentional and they mean no harm by it, but they're very protective of their child. And I can only imagine that all of us are going to be the same way.

Because there's people who are overboard, but it's also a wild thought. You raise a child into a man, you help them with their homework, you teach them how to love, you hopefully be a good example for them. And then you watch them start giving all of that love and maybe credit to somebody else. I can imagine it's hard. So I think my first piece of advice is to just

recognize that, that like maybe that's what the mom is feeling. Because I think that we understand when we understand other people's feelings a little bit more, it makes it easier for us to be able to not be so angry at their actions or be so mad at them or just be so frustrated with them. I think it just helps us have a little bit more sympathy. And I think that's key.

I also think if things are extremely out of hand, it's okay to have a conversation with your partner. Be like, "Hey, your mom's doing this and this, and it's really making me feel this and this." Not in an attack, not in a, "I hate your mom. You need to cut her off." In a, "Hey, this action made me feel this way." See how your partner handles that. Also recognizing that it might be a little bit hard for your partner. That's their mom and you're their girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever.

It's a tough thing. You know, they might feel pulled in both directions. Like, crap, how do I please both of you? I don't want you guys hating each other. But notice how your partner handles it. If your partner wants to put you first and have a conversation with his mom about you, I think that that's a green flag. But I also think that, I don't know how old the person who asked this is, but I think that when you're younger, know that the moms and the parents are probably going to have maybe a little bit more input in the relationship than you would

But I usually think that that's for good reason. I think if you're older and this is an issue, it's a little bit more different. It's a little bit more serious. And I think that a conversation is totally warranted and just see how your partner handles it and take it from there. Next. Sorry. I have so many screenshotted. I think this is the last one I'm going to do because it's getting nice and long over here. My decision to defer college for a bit. Girl,

Boy, whoever typed this, whoever's taking some time to figure out what they want to do and who they want to be before college, I applaud you. It's a hard thing to do in a world that absolutely pushes and says that it's the most necessary thing ever. Let me tell you from personal experience, and I don't want to push anybody away from going to college because on the opposite spectrum, I think it's absolutely amazing. I think it brings friendship. I think it brings clarity. I think it brings such amazing life experience to people.

I also think it's completely not necessary and that life experience can be given to you outside of college and can teach you just as much as college can. To be honest with you, the two years I did college, I was drinking so much alcohol that I don't remember a single thing that I learned. Whereas every year that I've been out of college, that I stopped doing school, the amount that I've learned and absorbed has been freaking astronomical.

And I think that also has to do with, of course, the fact that I was drinking in college, whereas not everybody's doing that. But a lot of people are, which is why, again, I say everybody's situation is different. But if you've decided to take that step for yourself, to take time to figure out who you want to be, what you want to do, without just being forced into something and paying crazy money for school and classes that are not going to take you anywhere that you want to go, I think good for you. And I think...

It's important to recognize that people will always have something to say. Gosh, people still judge me for not going to school. People still judge everybody else's choices. Just know that that's going to happen and you don't have to take it personal. Okay. Most of the people who have something to say about that are people who maybe have things going on of their own that they haven't worked through or just like have this notion in their mind that they have to do things a certain way in order to

For them to feel successful and that's personal. It has nothing to do with you or your decision And I think that that's where I'm gonna leave off. There's so many more and I will do a Part two of this if you guys want I'm totally down to do that. I

And we could do it next week. And then, I don't know, clearly we have a lot of different episodes that I want to be recording. So you'll see what you get next week. Maybe we'll save the rest of the advice for a couple of weeks from now. But I love you guys. And also moving forward, we're going to be doing bi-weekly episodes instead of weekly episodes. I just think that it's going to be better content for you guys. It's going to be quality over quantity. And I just want to provide you guys with the most

that I can, and I don't just want to throw things out into the world. I want to make sure that I pour into them and we do it right. And I think it'll be better for both of us. And I will miss you guys on the weeks that we're not together, but you'll be able to tune in everywhere else. You know, I'm still on the talk on the gram on the hopefully YouTube soon, but I love you guys and I'll talk to you. I think I should still be talking to you next Wednesday. We're still trying to navigate all the technical things, but yeah,

Yeah. Find me at Lexa. I'll go on all the other places and we'll talk soon. Love ya. Bye.

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