Faith, friends and lessons learned with Meredith Good (Part 1)
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Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I have a very special guest. We're both very nervous because it's been a really long time since we podcasted together or since we've seen each other. But I'm here with Meredith Joygood. Yay. Say hello to the people. Hello, people. We haven't recorded together in, oh my gosh, two years.

Was it when we were in Hawaii the last time we did a podcast together? No. Me, you, and Anna did one. But that was... That's painful. So it's been two years. Anyways, we've also barely seen each other since then, but you would think that we saw each other every single day based on how we act together. But moral of the story, Meredith has basically been traveling the world, and I've been falling in love, and we've been living these crazy lives, but we've been so far apart, and it sucks. And if you guys don't know, Meredith and I met...

in well I guess some people ask this so I guess we could just refresh the story of our friendship and and how this bond was birthed the story of our friendship but we met when we were living in Hawaii through friends and then we just kind of the rest became history like we just were inseparable from the first day that we ever hung out and then we were attached at the hip for like months of living together and we were roommates and we did good job as roommates so then it just worked out and now

We're best friends, but now we're long distance best friends. So... Which is the worst part of it all. It's the worst part of it all. Oh, wait, that's the first thing I wrote. How do we know each other? What should we catch up on? Like, where have you been? In a short version, where have you been? In a short version? Yeah. Like, as in the past... Okay, the past three months. That's where I've been. Yeah. Where do I start? Okay.

Basically, I've been traveling. It's so funny to me to like explain this to you because we've already caught like... I know it's weird because we've already caught up on all of this, but we haven't caught you guys up on all of this. But then we're talking to each other and we're talking to you guys. So we just forget how to act. No. When Meredith came to visit, we had this thing in our brain. We were like, no, we're going to record like so many podcasts together. We're going to go film YouTube videos. We're going to go have fun and frolic and take pictures and just like have fun being girly girls and making videos. And that...

Literally hasn't happened. Like we just lay down and relax. No frolicking. No frolicking. We frolicked a couple of times at the beach, but like we just like lay in the sun and we vibe and it's just nice to have each other in each other's presence. So like we need like three weeks of just chilling together. And then I think if we were together long enough, we'd want to like start.

doing things again. Anyways. Right. We had a bunch of you guys ask questions, just random ones. And one of those we'll get into about where Meredith has been the past three months and how she's been literally all over the world because that explanation, that one's not going to cut it. But what do we even talk about here? I don't know. First thing let's get into, how do we stay long distance friends? Like what are the tips and tricks to stay in good relation with your long distance friends?

Well, normally I would say calling. But here's the thing. Meredith and I... But we haven't FaceTimed or called. Or voice memoed. No, we've occasionally voice memoed. But neither of us... Like, we'll send one and then it'll be like...

days weeks and then you're finally responding and then like our whole lives have changed and turned upside down since that first voice memo but like reality of it is we send like picture updates so yeah we'll send like a ton of photos explain a couple and then I feel like through the pictures you kind of get to like understand what's going on better than just like a messages oh I'm

doing good or like something like that. We definitely keep it very niche. Like we send each other really, really random pictures and like just kind of get into any, and we also follow each other and we see what each other is doing all the time. So that's one thing that's cool. And I think when you're in like a, like secure friendship, you know that it doesn't matter if you talk or not, like you're still there for each other. So it's like,

Sometimes we'll text each other and we're like, okay, I'm down bad today. And then it's like, you know, like the person's going to immediately be there for you regardless if you've like caught up or not. That's a really good point. Or when you see each other, like the minute me and Lexi saw each other, I was like. Just like back to, back to the norm. We're already getting into it. Back to our usual, our usual behavior on our usual nonsense. Meredith and I have been so lazy.

Like so lazy and so tired. It's crazy. Lexi blames me. I do blame Meredith because listen, this girl drinks like five coffees a day. And then listen, here's what she's about to say. She's about to say, but I'm not addicted. I just like the way it tastes. Like I could not drink it if I didn't want to. Listen.

I like the taste of coffee. It's like a sweet treat for me personally. It's like a reward. It's like a reward. I like having my daily little fun drinks throughout the day. No, and I can get behind that. But now, if we don't have like three coffees a day, two hours will go by and we'll be like, oh, I'm so tired. I just want to rest. It's

But anyways, back to long distance friendships. Yeah, I think that there's certain friendships that require more water, like more attention to them because they're like newer or fresher. But Meredith and I have literally been roommates and lived together in a different part of the world and have traveled together often. So like we recognize when we're in different chapters of each other's life that like nothing's going to change when we do get to reunite. So I think that if you're in like a secure, solid friendship relationship,

That feeling like you won't question your friendship if you're not talking every day, you know, somebody also asked, like, how do you know what friendships are worth watering? Like what friendships you should be pouring into? Because I feel we're at an age now, especially I know people listening to this are probably younger and a little bit older, but I feel early 20s is a very pivotal time.

age in friendships. Like this is when you want to really surround yourself with the right people because I feel like this is when our life just, it's just an important time in life. It's a very interesting time in life. So what's your first, what's your first take? Well, my first take is when I was in like, when I was like,

17, 18, like even 19, I was like, oh my gosh, I need to have a ton of friends. I need to have like, I need to be in contact with everyone I went to high school with, all my friends. Oh my gosh. The older I got, the more I realized like my mom was right when she said quantity or quality over quantity over quality. You need 50 million pounds or you're screwed. She was right because there's like certain friendships where I feel like they're like

energy sucking or they're not really happy for you. And so I feel like when you find your friends that you feel comfortable around or even the friends that you don't have to keep up with all the time, that's a sign of a healthy friendship that you should have in your life. So I think prioritizing the people that pour into you too will be more important than just like, oh, we're

we're friends just because. I was the same way. I felt like in high school and in college, I just wanted to be friends with everybody because I thought that that was like the key to success. Can I speak? No. The key to success, like that was how to be happy was to be surrounded by a million friends. But there's nothing worse than being surrounded by a million friends who aren't actually friends that care about you and want to see you succeed. And like, it can just be so draining to surround yourself with people who

act like they're cheering you on but are intentionally tearing you down in like different ways and like make digs at you and don't support you and I've also done a bunch of episodes on friendship but I think it really comes down to just like trusting your gut and knowing in your gut what is good for you and what isn't good for you my next thing

You too have struggled with anxiety, Meredith. This is true. Tell me a bit about your experience with it. Okay, okay. Take me from the top. Take me from the top. Take you from the top. Okay, let's see. I think from like... Hello? Can I speak?

we're both cut off ages 19 to like honestly like 21 22 I had such bad anxiety like I couldn't I barely could eat I would wake up like the minute my eyes opened I was like oh my gosh dread like doubt like everything was like the world is collapsing yeah like I couldn't get myself to do anything I wouldn't really hang out with a lot of people even when we were in Hawaii I feel like I like had such bad anxiety I'd just sit inside and I'm like the world is

It's so crazy what our thoughts are. Our thoughts are so capable of giving us and feeding us so many things that aren't even real. Like just so much of this fake little world. And I think that I've had to like really separate myself between what is really happening. Yeah. And what are the thoughts that my brain is just creating. Anyways, continue. And then... Side quest. No, side quest. Side quest.

And I feel like a lot of people in my life also experience anxiety. So I was under the impression that we were just supposed to like live with it. Like it was just something that you had to have and everyone did like had it and you were just going to always live with anxiety basically. And I feel like it's not until this year where I actually realized like we're not supposed to be living with like crippling anxiety. Yeah, like that is not something that we're supposed to carry. And I feel like that's something God is like,

freed me from, like, lifted off my shoulders where I don't have to, like, wake up and dread because the minute you start to... I think anxiety comes in when you want control. Mm-hmm. 100%. And the minute you realize you genuinely don't have control is the minute that your anxiety is up. And you don't have to. Like, you don't have to have control. Yes. You can let it go. You can...

give it up and breathe. Yeah. And like days where I feel extra anxious, it's like, okay, what am I trying to control right now? Like if it's something about like my body or like my like clothes, like I'm like, okay, what am I wearing? Like I'm trying to control what I wear, control what I'm doing. And it's like, no, I actually, I really, really like that a lot. This episode of the moments podcast is sponsored by better help. Quick

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it was strengthening your relationship with God that helped pull you out of anxious thoughts. Yeah, for sure. I think it's like, like reminding myself, like you said, like the anxious thoughts aren't true. And then taking scripture and be like, this is true. Like if my thought doesn't fit into like the Bible or like this scripture, it's not like, it's not real. It doesn't have control over me. And something like,

I would read, like, Psalm 139, like, verse 14 almost every day because it's, like, that is so, like, it says, like, I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Like, your works are wondrous. And it's, like, okay, if...

these thoughts about myself don't fit into this verse then they're not they're not true and it's easier said than done yeah it's easier said than done but I think it's like a constant reminder of literally resurrendering it to God like every day is the minute where you start to like build that habit instead of the habit of like

Oh, I suck. Everyone hates me. Like, you can't fall down that rabbit hole. No, it only gets deeper and darker. And like, it is so much easier said than done. Because I kind of noticed that. And this is why I was telling this to Meredith, like one of the reasons that I'm so grateful that I have this week of

struggle so deeply was because it made my relationship with God so much tighter. Like it was so much tighter knit. But before we even get into that whole conversation, let's, let's backtrack. Okay. Let's, let's take this back from the beginning. Where do you feel like your faith really started and really grew? And like, where would you lead anybody who doesn't really know where to start? I feel like in Hawaii, um,

That actually is a big part of my testimony because you feel like you have everything. I felt like, okay, I have really great friends. I'm living in the most beautiful spot ever. All of these things I felt like I had that I've always wanted. And then at the end of the day, I'm still waking up anxious and I'm going to bed sad. So it's like... Something's missing, but what could it possibly be? Yeah. And I'd always been Christian and I grew up going to church and all of that stuff. But I don't think...

I ever thought about it for myself. I was like, oh, it's just, like, it's a family thing. Like, I'll just call myself this. But I don't... I never thought that it, like, truly applied to my life. So I think until, like, consciously... I'm sure you never thought it could affect you the way that it has now. Yeah. I just saw it more as, like, religion versus relationship. So I was like, okay, like, I go to church. Like, whatever. Like, that's what I'm supposed to do. Like, I'm good. I'm chilling. And I think it wasn't until, like, I started...

praying like bigger things and seeing God like actually move and like show me that in real life. Like that gives me goosebumps. Yeah. That's the coolest thing. And prayer is really the trusting. And like the more, like the bigger prayers I prayed, like the more I would see him answer. And the more I prayed in faith, like the more like smaller things I would see, which is why like when I say like when I went to passion and upper room,

my like faith was like really changed because he was literally answering my prayers like verbally with other people. And I was like, there's just no way. So cool. So like it really just put it in perspective that like, Oh, like God wants relationship with me. So you went to those conferences. What were the, what are those like? It's like a sermon and then worship. So it's like for a long period of time. Okay. But it's like all day. So there's different like

Different people will speak. Different people will lead worship. And then there's just time for prayer or communicating or talking. Okay. Love that. So it's just a long...

days of that. Of that. So you'd like go to like a worship set and then like go get lunch and then you'd hear someone speak for like an hour and then. That's really cool. So it's really cool. Yeah. Sometimes I was like, okay, I'm really tired. And this is a lot. You're like, this is much. That's when I had my quad or no, my six shot espresso. How crazy is that guys? I told you this girl can put down a coffee and she was telling me, she was like,

Yeah, when I was, was that a passion? Yeah. She was like, yeah, because we got a coffee that she thought had four shots of espresso. Turns out it was only two. Yeah. Or we think. We still haven't quite figured it out. I think it's two. But she was like, yeah, I had this drink there and it had six shots of espresso. But I was like so anxious after. I'm like, girl, I don't think you were anxious. I think your body was just literally having like an attack. Yeah. Like you probably put your heart rate through the roof. It was called the heart attack or something like that. Well, that would, that adds up. Checks out. Go get it. It's good.

Where was I on that adventure? How did we get off? Okay, so you went to these conferences. That's when you felt like this relationship really grew. That's when you really felt locked in, I guess you could say, for lack of better terminology. And then what? I think I was just like...

because I stayed in California with some friends for, like, three months after that, and they were, like, they encouraged me so much, and they were just teaching me so much about, like, the way that God communicates with us, and I kind of didn't think that it ever applied to me, and so I think that three months that I was there, I was, like, okay, like, if this is, like, true, and, like, this is real, I'm gonna lock in, like, I'm gonna, like,

study scripture like I'm gonna like start trusting God more and like devote myself and it was the growth like that I saw and like the ways that he would communicate with me I was like

oh, I can't even like begin to deny this anymore. This is far more than I could ever comprehend. I feel like it's really easy for people to not feel like it applies to them because there's so many people all talking to the same person, asking for different things. Like how could he really notice me in my prayers? Especially if you're new into this relationship, you're like, well, what do I deserve when all of these people have poured into him for how

however long. Like I know that that's like a big thing for me, even growing up. Like I always prayed every single day when I would go to school, my dad and I would pray and I would always pray at least like once a week or so. Like praying was something that I always did, but I never really felt like I was connecting my mind to my prayers. Like I never really felt like I was praying to anyone. And like, I would forget that I'm, I'm, I'm praying to a real person who lives within me and through me. And I feel like once I started doing that, you start to feel

the value that you actually hold. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's so easy to think that you don't matter, especially when we live in a world like this one. Yeah. And it's really easy to just get into that mindset. But the second that you recognize that you are truly one of a kind to him, I feel like he shows up a lot more for you because you start to

Like you were saying, just, like, notice the things that you didn't recognize were him working in your life. Yeah. I would see my friends and I'm like, oh, well, they're, like, that's their thing. Like, they're gifted in that. Like, they're anointed for that. Like, I'm not. And so then my friends would be like, no, like, you are, this is so accessible to you, too. You just have to, like.

ask for it in faith. You're like, and then it worked. They weren't kidding. And then here we are. So then, okay, wait, but then three months go by. Okay. Because let's do the timeline here. First things you did were passionate. Yeah. The other one. Yeah. There was two, right? It was like, yeah. Yeah. So then you were living in

in California for three months was this just with friends this is before you were doing yeah whatever you just did which I still don't comprehend so this is going to be a refresher for me right again guys but tell me about that so when I went to California like right after I was I went to like the conferences I stayed with Brie who's like one of my best friends now I'd literally only met her

or Upper Room. Which was crazy. And we had like known each other online but I literally never talked to her and then she came up to me at Upper Room and she was like

I believe we're going to be, like, best friends, like, for a very long time. And, like, God, like, wants me to tell you this. She gives me this, like, crazy, like, answer to one of my prayers. She's like, you should come visit me in February, like, in California. Oh. And prior to that, I had been so mad because I felt like God was telling me to go to California. And I was like, I don't want to go. I don't like California. I don't want to be there. I didn't even know that part of the story. And he said, like, Bree said that to me, and I was like...

Like, oh, crap. I guess I have to go. But the minute that I, like, even got in the car with her, I was like, oh, we're locked in. Like, this is fun. We're locked in. This is good. And so then...

She, like a week after me being there was like, I have this like last minute like trip I have to go on. Do you want to go home? And I was like, no, nah. So I couch hopped like, oh my gosh, I'm with all her friends, which I didn't know either. So then I got to go to like Cirque Riders, which is like a ministry thing in California.

And that's how I got... It's called DTS, Discipleship Training School, that I did. And everyone was like, you should do it. Like, it'd be so cool. And I was like, I'm too old. Like, I don't... I don't want... I can't do that. Because normally, like, people that do it are fresh out of high school. Okay. It's not, like, everyone, but, like, that's, like, the thing. That's... Okay. And so I was like, no, I don't want to. Like, I don't want to go. But I do want to stay in California and, like, be with you guys. And so I was like...

I'll go home. I'll pray about it. And see what gets answered. And see where I'm led. Little do we know. I had a crazy dream. That basically was telling, my dream was like telling me to go. And I was like, oh no, not again. I don't want to have to do it. So I did it. I like applied like two months late. Somehow like got it just like that.

And basically, it's three months of, like, lecture phase where you're, like, going to, like, class, essentially. Which is probably so cool. Yeah. Like, I feel like you learn so much. I mean, there is so much in the Bible. It's crazy. I don't think we'll ever really know everything that it holds. Yeah. And so, like, every week a different speaker would come in. And they'd come in from, like, all over the country. That is so crazy. So, like, they're crazy speakers. Yeah.

And like it was a different theme like every week, which was so cool. And then after your three months lecture phase, you do three months of outreach, which is like I think there was 25 different teams like across the US and then there was four in like overseas. Yeah.

And I was one of those four. So this is why a bunch of people asked, too, like, why? How are you just in Europe? How did you go so many places? This was an extension of that. Yeah. Right. Like, that's like the second portion. Yeah. It's like what you learned. Like, this is for like what you learned. Like, OK, you go share it and spread it. Yeah. Which is so cool. So we spent two and a half, maybe a little more months there.

in Western Europe and we held worship gatherings and we would just like, it'd be like the same thing if you went to like a youth group, I think, like worship and then like a sermon and then we'd have like time for prayer and got to talk to like a ton of high school to college and even like younger aged people. That's wild. Do you have a memory that just...

comes back to you and you're like, yeah, this is something I'm going to remember for the rest of my life. I feel like there's so many. I'll randomly get flashbacks during the day and I'm like, oh, dang. You're like, I did that. That was awesome. Holy crap. So one that was really awesome, I feel like I talk about this a lot, we were driving through the Swiss Alps to Italy. Oh, I... Is this when...

The pictures on the mountain and, like, the lake or something beautiful. It was crazy. So we were driving two vans around Europe. So we pull over and we climb up this, like, huge hill, which we had no business climbing on. And we just, like, stood up there and the wind was, like, blowing us around. And we got to, like, stare over, like, one of the lakes. Holy crap. It was February, but it was still so blue, so green. And we were just, like, laughing and, like, rolling down the hill. And it was so...

Oh my gosh. No, I remember when we posted the videos from literally, I know exactly, like I can get the vision of exactly where you were because I remember being like, wow, that's where I want to go. Like I want to go there and I want to experience that, especially with people who are so like-minded and kind. And like, I feel at least this is my assumption. You were surrounded by just such good people with good intentions and good hearts. So yeah, I love that for you. Literally felt like family. Like as soon as we like first found out like who our teams were, we were like,

oh, we're the best team. Dude, that's awesome. We're like family friends. You know, she was explaining to me that sometimes you stayed at like people's houses. Yeah. And sometimes you stayed at... Churches. Churches. Basements. Basements. Like she was like, I've slept on a bed, but like I also sometimes just slept on like a...

Like it was like a floaty. It was literally like a blow up raft. A blow up raft. So thin. Sometimes we slept on like gym mats kind of. That's crazy. With like a sleeping bag. No, but that's iconic. And she said it was some of the best sleep of her life. I slept so great. I don't know how or why. Like I had my sweatshirt as a pillow. It probably had to do with the fact that you were exhausted. Like you spent three months being exhausted. No, literally. Like living the dream. But it was so fun. It's just, it's tiring to travel. I bet. We had like an event almost like.

Every day, if not every other day. How long did you drive the whole time around Europe? We drove for the first two months. Then the last two weeks, we flew. That's crazy. We couldn't drive. How long were the drives? What were the stretches? One time, we took two public buses once. Those were 11 hours. Holy guacamole. In total? Straight. It didn't stop.

Wow. And the first one, we forgot. We thought it stopped. Uh-huh. So we brought no food, no snacks. Oh. And we were literally dying. Oh, my gosh. Because on a bus, too, it's not like... Yeah. Like, when you take the train, they have that one section where you can get food and drinks and stuff. Yeah. Not on a bus. No. No. And sometimes, like, our drives would last, like, nine or ten hours in the van. That's a long stretch. Did you get carsick? Honestly, sometimes I did, but I would...

try and sit like you're like I know myself yeah guys when the last time Meredith and I did see each other we went to Italy together and it was so fun and the day that we got there we like flew there we're so excited like high on life we're in the van driving through that you know if you've ever been to Positano yeah there's cliffs basically and really windy roads and you're up this mountain and the view outside is like magical stunning like nothing I've ever seen in my life but

But you're winding. You're going back and forth and spinning and up and down. Like you might as well be on a roller coaster for an hour straight. Straight off the plane. Barely any real food in your system. We're in this van and we stop at the top of the hill and we go to this little sorbet spot. And the guy gives us lemon gelato. And we're like, score. So we slurp it all down.

We eat it all and then we get back on the van and it's like 20 more minutes until we get to our spot. And we finally get there and we can't check into our Airbnb yet. So we're just sitting at this coffee shop right next to it for literally hours. And the whole time we're at this coffee shop, Meredith's like, I don't feel so good. Like, I don't feel so good. I go, okay, I'm going to go to find a pharmacy and get nausea medicine. We had not for one second considered that you could just be carsick.

I knew I was carsick, though. And I couldn't, like... I was, like, carsick and hungry. All at the same time. But I couldn't eat. This is before she went on a European world tour. Like, this was her first time leaving the country and going so far away. And we hadn't seen each other in forever. And it was kind of like it was a...

quote unquote work trip like there was just a lot of so many factors I felt so bad I was like oh my gosh we were like not the first day we like tried to go out to dinner we did go out to dinner after and I was in the shower and I was like I called my mom I was crying I was like I feel so sick I can't do this

But she did come here a year ago. Yep. And it was in like February for like two weeks, kind of just like this. And it's crazy to see how much has changed in that year of our life. Like it's actually weird. Meredith was here when Gabe and I went on our first date. Like I picked up Meredith from the airport and we come back to my house and

And I had gotten her a rose at a gas station just because I didn't want to pick her up empty-handed. So I get her this rose and, like, probably, like, a yummy drink or something, like, knowing me and knowing her. So that's what I get her. I pick her up from the airport. We're driving home, catching up. We're both, like, talking. And I'm, like, telling her a little bit about Gabe because Gabe and I had just kind of started hanging out. And he had already texted me to go on this date. But...

I was just updating her because I was like, no way. Like, it's not going to be anything, but I have to go on a date. Like, I'm freaking out. I don't want to go. So I get to my house and...

We go to the door and there's a rose on my counter on like my little table outside, not the counter. And there's a paper underneath it that says, will you be my Valentine? So I thought Meredith had put that there like as a joke. And I was like, haha, like Meredith, this is so funny. And she's like holding her rose. I look back at her and she's holding the rose I gave her. So I know that she didn't put it there. I was like, what's funny? Why are you laughing? And I'm like, what do you mean? I'm like, why? How do you even do that? Like you're still at the car. How did you how did you prepare this? And then turns out.

It was Gabe. And then a few days later, I went on my date and Meredith had to force me out the house. No, me and Lissette were like, literally, you have to go. You have to go. And she's like, I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Me and Lissette are like, let us hang out alone. Please leave. Yeah. And they did. And they went to dinner without me while I'm on this date, like feeling so stressed. I was so anxious. I couldn't breathe before I went. She wasn't even texting us. So me and Lissette were freaking out. We're like, I wonder how it's going right

Like I didn't even go to the bathroom. You know, like I didn't go to the bathroom and like send them a text and like update them like nothing because Gabe and I were just so locked in like the whole time, which is awesome. And clearly it worked out so well because now we've been together for 14 months. Who would have thought? But anyways, a bunch of people asked if you like Gabe. So what do you think? I hate, no, I'm kidding. Gabe has literally set my standards so high already. Like every single day it's something new. I'm like, you're like, oh, I didn't even know that existed. I didn't even know that was possible. No, literally. Like,

He's the best. No, I got so lucky. He's perfect. He's so perfect. I can confirm. They are a perfect match. They do the same weird things. I'm not as weird. I'm a little weird, but Gabe, Gabe this week has been like next level. Like just like warmed up to me. Oh yeah. So he's like full blown. He lets it rip. Yeah. Like literally lets it rip. But,

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Enough of that. Another people that ask is about crushes. Okay, crushes. And boys and relationships. All of those questions, which a year ago or any other time that Meredith and I recorded a podcast together, we were probably the worst people to take advice from. And this is true. Because we have quite the history with crushes. For anybody who's new and

And just now listening to an episode of us together, Meredith and I, we had the same crush. The literal same boy in the same friend group. And you know what? We owe it all to him because we would not be best friends had it not been this situation. I don't even understand how that's even possible. No, because if you, anytime I tell people this story and Meredith was saying the same exact thing to me,

They're like, how do you not hate each other? Like, how are you best friends because of this? Anyways, the story is we liked the same boy and we would bond over how much we liked him and how he would just, we would go, whoever he chose, well, that's great for the other one. We're like, we're so happy. Like, if it's you, it's you. Like, so happy for you. Even better. Like, if you're like, if it's me, awesome. If it's you, whatever.

Cool. No, but we would just, we were getting played by the same guy. We both liked him. He didn't like either of us. No. I don't even think he likes anyone. Like I think that I don't even think he has a heart capable of loving somebody properly because you'd never treat somebody you love the way that we were treated. Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because I feel like since we went through that together, there's been a pretty significant change.

change now in our mindset on how we look at love and relationships and what we deserve. And I feel like that's always an important reminder to give out because we often forget, especially as like little girly girls, that we deserve somebody who's actually good to us and respects us and values us. So...

Where am I going with this? Uh-huh. When it comes to crushes and boys, never, never ever stick around and wait for a boy who is very visibly playing you. Yeah. And also gives your best friend attention.

That's so weird and crazy to think about, but I also think it's more common than we realize. Obviously, our specific situation was beyond me. That makes no sense to me. I don't know why nobody was like, hey, this is weird and sus. No, because everybody that was around us ate it up. They loved it. It was like a show. It was encouraged from both sides. No, it was literally like an entertaining reality TV show for everybody except us.

Like, it's sickening. What a time that was. One day we'll be able to break down even more. But for now, just we look back on it and recognize that we deserved so much more. I cringe. I physically, like, shudder when I think about it. No, Meredith and I really have a hard time with this one still, but we talk about it every day probably because what in the world? Well, it taught us don't do the most for her.

No, if he wanted to he would if he wanted to he would and it's crazy for me to look back at that time and think Like oh my god. He sent me a red heart He must like me like we made eye contact We we rode in the same car to go to he chose to road in my car right in my car He called shotgun. He when I drove like ordered my food

And I paid for it. No. That's what it boils down to. That's what it boils down to. It's so true though. But like the reality of it is, it is so easy to get caught up accepting the bare minimum when that's what you think that you deserve. And that's what you are used to receiving. But if we don't give ourselves the love that we think we deserve, we're not going to think that anybody out there is going to give it to us. So we, that is why I believe we have the bar on the floor because we have the

Put our own bar on the floor. Yeah. You know? Like, we don't treat ourselves with enough love and respect ever. And even, like, now, we still don't half the time. Like, we still wake up and we're like, ah, I feel gross today or my skin's bad today. Like... Yeah. Those are things we need to stop doing if we're ever going to... This is true. Find the people... Anyways, you have to love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than somebody who sends you a red heart and also sends it to...

your best friend sitting next to you like at the same time. That's true. That's true.

There is somebody out there who is going to talk to you like you're the only person in the world and you're not going to doubt that. Like that's so true. That's the biggest thing is just, you know, in your heart, you know, in your heart, like if this boy is for you or for the street and like for this, it's just it's true, though. It's like it like almost it makes me so mad when I think about it, because literally what you said, like I didn't think that I was like, oh, well,

Well, he's giving me something like that. This is better than I'm used to. This is better than anything I've ever had. And you get like fearful. You're like, okay, well, what if I never like find anybody? Like, I don't know what I would, I don't know what he had that I thought I couldn't find anywhere. No, I don't know. I don't know why we didn't think that we deserved something better than that. And I don't know why nobody, even my, I was, I was talking to my mom. We're in the car all driving home from something the other day. And I'm like, mom,

Why didn't you step up and tell me maybe that's not okay? Oh, my mom made it loud and clear. And you were like, I didn't listen though. She made it loud and clear. Mom, I'm sorry, girl. She always does. Moms are always right. And I know that's a crazy, crazy take. But my parents, every time they have told me something I didn't want to believe, they

They've never led me astray. She's so right. Because when I came crying to her, she said, girl, I told you so. I told you so. Yeah, we should have known. We should have known. You win some, you lose some. You win some, you lose most. Just kidding. Just kidding. No, you won. You won. I won. I won. You do win them. You do win them once in a while. I'll wait. I'll wait. But that being said, it does take all of those...

I don't even want to call them mistakes because they're not mistakes. Like, it takes all those people. Lessons. Yeah. You're either a lesson or a blessing. What's that phrase? How does it go? A lesson or a blessing. It takes all of those lessons, those people who hurt you or people... Even if people didn't hurt you directly, but, like, you grew from it, all of those people...

Come on, Lexi. To show you what you deserve and what you will get. Yes. If you don't go through those, you're not going to know what you don't want or what you do want. Had I not learned loud and clear that I don't want somebody who wants me and the rest of the world, I wouldn't know any better. You don't know until you go through experiences. I didn't even know that I could be loved the way that I've been loved this past year until it happened. Right.

But I did know there were certain things that were going to be non-negotiables for me. Like, there were things that were requirements. Like, I knew because I experienced that one time, like, I am not going to be an option for anybody. I'm not going to be somebody that you can disrespect. I'm not going to be somebody who sticks around in a group of people who...

talks down about other people. Like there's things that I've learned because I went through what I went through. And that's why I just feel like when it comes, somebody also asked about like moving on and moving past somebody who hurt them. Like you just have to recognize that there's better things out there for you. Yeah. Like think about how much our lives have changed in the past.

three years, but we could not be at this point had it not been for those points. Yeah. Which all sounds very much like common sense and very cliche. Like you have to go through it to get to where you are now. But when you really sit down and like debrief and dive back into things, like it's all part of the plan. It's all part of the process and it all teaches us something. Yeah, that's true. I think you get caught up in moments like when you're in them and you're like,

oh my gosh, it's never going to get better than this. Like, this is a core, like, core memory, which, like, these core memories, they're fire and they're great. Yeah, no, they're great. And if you hold on to them when you're trying to, like, get to a new spot, you're not going to get there. Oh, I like that. Because you're too busy, like, oh, that was really good then. That was really awesome then. I need to recreate this. I need to have this again. But it's like... Oh, I like that. Some things are meant to just, like...

Stay there. Some things and some people are just meant to be memories. Yes. And that's the tea. And it kind of sucks, but then once you're out of... Once you let go of that... The mask is lifted. Yeah, and you're like, oh. Like, first of all, that's what really happens. I need this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, guys, thanks for tuning in. We'll do this again soon. Okay, we love you guys so much. Bye, Pookies. We'll talk to you next Monday. Bye.