Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
The land down under has never been easier to reach. United Airlines has more flights between the U.S. and Australia than any other U.S. airline, so you can fly nonstop to destinations like Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane. Explore dazzling cities, savor the very best of Aussie cuisine, and get up close and personal with the wildlife. Who doesn't want to hold a koala? Go to united.com slash Australia to book your adventure.
This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required.
Good morning and hello and welcome back to the moments podcast everybody. I'm currently recording I guess it's not really the morning It's almost noon, but it feels like the morning because I haven't had a coffee yet I've been doing my best to get myself feeling put together um
I think that lately I've been falling a lot into my old patterns and like my old ways where I'm less motivated to get up early in the morning. I'm less motivated to go grocery shop and make elaborate fun meals that are good for me and nutritious. And I just kind of am being a little bit lazier. My scroll time is just getting a little bit longer and I don't want it to be because it makes me feel horrible and it makes my anxiety go through the roof. And I just...
I want to get back to becoming a better version of myself. And that's what the topic of this episode is going to be.
How are we going to get better? Like, how do we actually make progress on evolving and becoming better versions of ourself without falling back into old patterns? And that being said, I think that life comes in waves and it flows in circles. And there's always going to be times where we fall back into our old ways. And that's okay. It's normal. It's your body trying to tell you something, your mind trying to remind you to take a breather once in a while and to just chill out.
But how do we more consistently become better? We can't do it overnight. So here's how to do it slowly but surely. At least my insight on how to do it because I feel like I've gone through this cycle a few times and I've gotten, for the most part, pretty good at consistently working to be better.
So that's what we're going to talk about. I'm going to give you some tips on why I think we always need to be evolving to be better people, better versions of ourselves, how to avoid falling into these old patterns or accepting them when it does happen, how we're going to get better and some ideas and examples and just whatever we need to talk about. I think that so often we just want to do it overnight. Like we finally get a point where we don't like where we're at or who we are and we're like, okay, tomorrow I'm going to wake up at,
four in the morning and I'm going to read the Bible and I'm going to journal seven pages and I'm going to go to the gym twice actually. And then I'm going to go for a walk and I'm going to put on a podcast and then I'm going to work hard for four hours. I'm going to get a promotion in my job and then I'm going to make lunch from scratch like Nara Smith. And then I'm just going to keep doing that all day. That's not what's going to happen. And that's not realistic. And that's not a good way for us to think or to be because we cannot do that so quickly.
Because it puts so much pressure on us. And I think that when we apply too much pressure to changing and to becoming essentially somebody else, we end up working backwards more than we work forwards. I mean, think about it. Think about all of these diet cultures where people go on these crazy diets and they lose all this weight, if that's what their goal is, whatever it may be. And they end up, once they stop eating,
doing this diet, once they've restricted so much that they break, everything goes back in time. It was a waste of time and people go exactly back to where they started from. Same thing goes for like sleeping in. If you suddenly decide that you're going to wake up at 5am every single morning, but you're not changing the time that you go to bed, your body's going to become exhausted. So exhausted that when you, you are going to end up sleeping in again and not in a good way. You're not going to feel good. The goal here is to be
sustainable and to make long-term lifestyle changes. When we make huge lifestyle changes overnight, that is not sustainable. The goal in becoming better and changing who you are is to enjoy the process.
You know, and they people always say it's not about the journey or wait, it's not about the destination. It's about the journey. And that's so true. And you guys have heard me emphasize this probably a million times on this podcast. But what happens in the middle is what is the most important because that is your life. Our life isn't about getting to these destinations or reaching these goals. It's about what we feel like and what
how we do it and what we can make of life while we're reaching these goals and getting to these points. Also just accept that you're going to fall back into old patterns once in a while. You're going to have days that are going to let you down. You're going to have days that are going to feel like it was all worth nothing. But
Having minor setbacks is part of moving forward. We cannot succeed unless we fail. And a lot of the things that I'm going to be reiterating to you in this episode are things that you've heard before. They're things that are like on little magnets at the bookstore. Like they're very cliche sayings, but they are really, really impactful if you listen to them right and you actually let yourself believe them and understand them. Like we are going to fail. 110% we're going to fail. We're not going to be able to do it all.
But if we just focus on doing a little bit every day, getting a little bit better every day, giving ourself grace and giving ourself patience, I think that we can become even better. And when I say better versions of ourself, I'm talking like...
Let me give you an example. This is the next bullet point I wrote down anyways. You want it to be fun. Like the way that I do it is I have two versions of myself. And this is something that I used to talk about a lot. If you've been around for a while, you know this about me. If not, I haven't talked about it in probably a year. But I see two versions of myself. There's Lexi, which is my nickname. It's what I've always gone by. And there's Alexis. Now, Alexis is a name I was always afraid of growing up because it sounded so...
Grown up and professional and when you're young you don't want a grown-up professional name It's kind of like the last thing you want. I hated when people called me Alexis It made me ache like when I would have a substitute teacher and they would say Alexis and then all the kids in my class would be like What your name is Alexis and it was you know childhood trauma sounds silly, but we've all been there so
As I've gotten older, you know, I love Lexi. She's great. She's wonderful. She's fun. She's awesome to be around. But she's not as professional and mature all the time as I want to be. So instead of
Just deleting Lexi and trying to get rid of her and trying to just be Alexis who is this mature, evolving, empowering, passionate person. She's the one who volunteers and she works all the time and she works super hard and she reads and she's just so great to be around and never is in a bad mood. That's Alexis. Everybody wants and everybody has a version of themselves that they love and are the most proud of.
For me, that's Alexis. But for so long, when I first was tapping into this Alexis mindset, I'm going to be Alexis. Lexi, I was trying to get rid of her. I was trying to delete the version of me that was like super fun, super lazy, like to go out, like to just get cozy up and watch a movie and not be productive, not read a book and not open a journal and just scroll on my phone for a bit and eat ice cream or like four servings of ice cream and watch movies and watch shows and just chill.
I wanted to get rid of that version of me so badly, but I've learned that we need both. They have to coexist with one another. We can't be amazing, incredible person without being like a lazy bum once in a while. And that sounds silly, but it's really true. You need to just accept both versions of yourself and enjoy both versions of yourself. And it helps you
So much because it's allowed me to stop punishing myself for doing the things that I enjoy that may not be as productive as I want them to be. I've created this version of my head so many times in my brain that I just need to be somebody who's always, always getting better, doing more, being one step ahead. And I think I just burnt out from that.
So I kind of fell backwards into this other trap of like doing none of that. And I finally got myself to a point where both can exist. So if you're at a point where you're at either of those stages, you need to recognize that you are human. You're going to have multiple versions of yourself exist within one. And it's good for them to coexist. But also the point of this example is this is a really good way to make it fun. Like I will wake up some days and be like, you know what?
I'm going to be a Lexus until 5 p.m. today. Then Lexi's coming out. I'm going to make popcorn. I'm going to put on a movie and that's it. And it just makes it more enjoyable. If you're somebody who likes to have those little scenarios or like role play in your own brain, that's what I like to do. And it's really helpful for me. It helps me shift my mindset. It helps me give myself a break, but it also helps motivate me. So take that into account. Have your Lexi and have your Lexus.
This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.
So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.
Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And, you know, I don't know if you've heard of it, but I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously.
They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.
But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.
So refresh your everyday look with Thrive Cosmetics, beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash moments. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S dot com slash moments for 10% off your first order. You're going to absolutely love it. I pinky promise you. Have a beautiful day. Back to the pod. The next thing I have.
We need to move slowly. If we want to actually get better, this ties very much into the first point that I was talking about. We're not going to do it overnight. We need to move as slow as we possibly can. And we need to just focus on being 1% better every single day. If you try to be 30% better overnight, you're going to burn yourself out. You're not going to be changing your lifestyle. You're going to be making a temporary, short-term, little change that is not going to last throughout the rest of your life.
Do it slowly and do it right and be patient with yourself. For example, if you're somebody who wants to be more productive and you find yourself scrolling too much or you feel like you've been super lazy lately, one, your body might be asking for that for a reason. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. But two, if you are ready to take the step up and make the change, don't just tell yourself, I'm done scrolling. I'm cold turkey. Stop scrolling.
I have done that before and it was great when I did it. But again, I ended up scrolling again like we always do. But make it something where you're swapping things out instead of taking them away. And I'll get more into that soon. But like if you want to scroll less, add something in. Go make yourself go for an extra walk a day with no phone. You can't bring your phone to walk around the block in the middle of the day, whatever it is. Add in one extra chore. Add in one little task. I'm going to clean out the junk drawer in my kitchen. I'm going to
organize my closet. I'm going to just fold the clothes that are all messed up in the drawer. I'm going to unbox this package. Whatever it is, just add a little bit more to make you a little bit more busy so that you have a little bit less time to scroll. And I know that
scrolling can be really consuming and really addicting even if we do have other things to do I've been in different stages of my life where I've actually had zero time to be on my phone and I still find a way to like scroll instead of do my work and that's just not healthy whatsoever but I do recognize that and understand that but still give yourself grace find other ways to fill your time and even if it's
Wanting to be more productive, but you're finding yourself like super addicted to your phone or even if it's not your phone, whatever it is you feel yourself being trapped by. If it is your phone though, like put on a podcast instead of watching a TikTok. You'll be moving yourself forward more than you even recognize you are because you're consuming good media. And I always stress that what you consume matters. Another example, if you're trying to get closer with God, if you're trying to build a relationship with your faith,
That is not something that happens overnight. It is something that takes a lot of time and patience and understanding. So start with adding more worship music onto your playlist. Start with making sure you make it a goal to pray every day. Not, I'm going to pray four times a day. I'm going to read my Bible seven chapters a day. I'm going to talk to God every second of every day. I'm going to lead a Bible study. Like that's not realistic.
Be gentle with yourself. We are getting better gently. Look at this as like a challenge, not like a 30 day challenge or a 75 hard. It's a lifetime challenge of just doing your best and getting 1% better every single day. Even if now, I don't know how I'm going to explain this properly. I know it's going to get lost in my head. I'm trying to go off the quote. That's like,
Give 100% every single day, even if your 100% is 30% of what it was yesterday. Basically, recognize that there's going to be days where your 1% better is like a thousand times better. There's going to be days where your 1% better feels like you barely moved, but you did because you are aware of it and you're focused on it. And if you have that awareness, you are already steps ahead.
I promise. Now, another example of our moving slowly and patiently and giving ourself time to do things and reach our goals. Say you're trying to get more in tune with your body. Instead of taking away all of the foods that you like to eat, whether it's carbs or you have a candy addiction right now, which is, I'm all for it. But I also understand wanting to fill your body with more nutrients and take care of your health.
If you want to do that, though, you're not just going to go from never working out and eating a bunch of processed food to overnight waking up at 5 a.m. to run a marathon and eat only whole plant-based raw foods that you made from scratch. That's not how it's going to go. So what I would suggest is like add a little bit more activity into your days. Go for, like I said before, an extra walk.
Have a little bit more body awareness. Pay attention to what the foods that you eat make you feel and like how much you eat and what it makes you feel and not in a way of needing to take things out of your life. In a way of just becoming aware of your life and of your body. And you will slowly, as you recognize your body more, feeling it from the inside out, not basing it off of what it looks like from the outside in, you will want to make changes that make you feel better.
If going for a walk at night helps you sleep better because you've digested more food, you're going to continue to do that. And you're going to experience more things just by having that awareness. And it's going to look different than everybody else's. And one reason I emphasize so much having body awareness of your own body
because there are so many different health fads and things that people suggest we do but every single human has a different body and you can't just take somebody else's advice if you don't even have the awareness of what it is that you need. You get me? You get me. Okay, the next thing I wrote down which is essentially what I just talked about. We are focused on adding to our life. We are not taking away from our life. Becoming better at
We can't look at that with this restrictive mindset that becoming better means taking away so many things. It doesn't mean I'm never drinking again. It doesn't mean I'm never eating a candy bar again. It means we're going to add more good into our life. Because if we're so focused on taking things out, it becomes restrictive. It becomes...
Bad our mind becomes upset with the fact that we're taking things away from us It's like taking a pacifier away from a baby. The baby's gonna cry, but if you Give a baby with a pacifier you add something else to give them a bottle You're gonna be excited about that and they're gonna have both and they're gonna love the bottle so much They no longer want the pacifier now I must have serious baby fever and I do right now, which is why I gave that example But you get what I mean
If we just rip things away from us, there's no joy in that. There's no fun in it. We can't enjoy the process. We're not going to want to keep doing it if that's how we live. Take that into account. Like if there's things you want to do less of, we're going to add more things into our life to do instead. Like maybe a new hobby, maybe a new practice. Maybe you want to start drawing. Maybe you want to learn to dance. Maybe you want to take dance classes. Fill your free time with things that make you feel better from the inside out.
Whether that's being more productive, moving your body more, loving yourself more, being more creative again, writing in a journal, add to your life. When we do this, it really helps our mindset because it gives us this desire to keep going.
and to keep wanting to add more, and to keep seeing what life has to offer. And I think that's awesome. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.
Reporting live from under my blanket, I'm Susan Curtis with Duncan at Home. Breaking news, pumpkin spice iced and hot coffees are back. I'll pass it to Mr. Curtis with his blanket for the full story. That is so right, Susan. You know, it's never too early to get in a spicy mood. I'm talking cinnamony goodness that's so tasty, people don't want to leave their blankets either. Back to you. No, back to you. All you.
The home with Dunkin' Pumpkin Spice is where you want to be. I'm going to keep this one quick. I'm going to go through a few of the things we talked about, a few of the final reminders that I have, and remember this as you move forward in becoming the best version of yourself. You're going to have setbacks. There's going to be days it's not all going to work for you. You have to have patience. You have to slowly but surely...
Love yourself while you go through this process. You have to empower yourself. Tell your friends. Tell people in your life what you're trying to do. Gently. You know, don't say, I'm gonna be president in a year. Like, tell them your small goals. Because...
They'll help hold you accountable for the little things like this. Surround yourself with the right people who encourage you. Give yourself positive reinforcement. If you are doing the things and you're reaching the goals that you set for yourself, give yourself a reward, okay? Don't just be like, yeah, about time you did that. Because I know that's something I used to struggle with. When I would finally make a change that I've been working so hard to do for so long, I would be like, good, good. And it would be so...
So much pettiness towards myself. I'm like, well, finally, you can't do that. Treat yourself with love. Give yourself positive reinforcement. You're like, you know what? I finally did that. I'm going to go get myself ice cream. I'm going to buy myself a little necklace. I'm going to give myself a sweet treat. I'm going to watch a movie. Whatever your happiness stems from, give yourself that when you reach your goals. You're going to want to keep going when you do it like this. That's how you want to make the change. You want to...
Notice yourself every single day waking up wanting to be better. If you wake up every single day dreading the fact that you're trying to be better, something's off. You need to take it back to the beginning and figure it out. Step by step, one day at a time, one breath at a time, one thought at a time. Especially if being better has to do a lot with your mind, which is I think a lot of what I'm feeling right now is just...
My thought patterns, I've still been productive. I got a lot going on here and we're moving forward, but my thought patterns are a lot more negative than they were even a few months ago. And having to make those better and get them better is not easy. There's so many setbacks, but I am feeling empowered and I am feeling excited. I want to feel better. Step one is wanting to feel better. We get so easily trapped in comfortable situations
our but negative thoughts there is Scientific research on this and I know this because I've read it couldn't tell you where it came from But I promise you this is a fact we are more comfortable in our hurt and in our pain and in our negative patterns Then we are comfortable with making a change and feeling our life change. So Take that pill swallow it think about your life and just just remember it. That's something I try to remember daily, okay
Next thing I've written down and we've gone over this things are going to fail. You're going to fail. You're going to set back, but don't give up. Don't give up every single day. We're being better and it's fun and it's joyful. And some days we're trying to be better and we get worse. And that's not the end of the world. We'll just do it over again tomorrow.
The next thing, you are an individual. What works for you, and I mentioned this before, is not going to work for everybody else. What works for your favorite influencer, what works for me, what I tell you on this podcast, might not be what works for you. You might have to go consume a different podcast, and that person might have advice that you're like, wow, that really hit for me. You are an individual with your own set of DNA, your own thought patterns, one that you cannot even try to explain to somebody if you wanted to.
You have to recognize that. You can't beat yourself up over the fact that something is so easy for somebody else and not for you. Like, for example, Lisette has a really, really easy time eating healthy and like staying consistent with eating good whole foods. I struggle a lot more with my self-control and I can just make myself so upset with myself because I'm not like her.
And I have to remember, I'm not supposed to be. I have different strengths and different weaknesses. And that's what makes me me. And next, which aligns really well with that, is you have to have compassion for yourself. You have to be kind to yourself. You cannot bully yourself. And I've said this for two and a half years since we started this podcast. And every day, I'm still working to become a better friend to myself. I am the worst friend to me.
And the reality is that we should all be the best friend to ourselves. You are on the same team as that girl talking to you in your mind, telling you you look bad or you are a piece of shit or you are ugly. You guys are on the same team. What kind of team is going to move forward talking to each other that way? Not mine. Not yours. So you and I both need to remember that if you want to get better, you have to start on the inside. You have to start with kindness.
Not for the world, I mean, yes, that, but for you, I hope that there's something in there that will at least encourage you to want to be better a little bit every day. I encourage you and I believe in you and I love you.
And I know that you are powerful, capable and beautiful and amazing. And you inspire me more than, you know, every single day. I think I'm going to go lay in the sun, maybe bring a book and get 1% better. So I encourage you to slowly, happily, without any pressure, with a whole lot of joy, become a better version of you one day at a time. And also recognize that becoming a better version of you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you now. Take care of yourself. Okay. I love you so much. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Bye.
Tune in next Monday. And also, order the Moments Journal. I think it's, oh my gosh. No, by the time you're listening to this, it's not out, but it comes out in two days. Please go pre-order it or order it. I am so absolutely mind blown that this is real life. Order the Moments Journal. The link is in my bio pretty much everywhere. I'll put it in the description and it would mean the world to me more than you know. And I think you'll really love it.