Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Beautiful people, this is The Moments Podcast and I'm your host, Lexi Hidalgo. I hope you're ready to learn a little bit something new about yourself or the world or feel a little bit more seen, heard, and understood because you are. And you are beautiful and valuable and I want to be your big sister and your best friend and I'm going to remind you of that hopefully in each and every episode that you listen to. So tune in and enjoy The Moments.
My beautiful people, welcome back to the Moments Podcast. This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who's been a teacher for over
who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
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It's been so long. I might need to reintroduce myself. I'm Lexi. I'm your host. We've been here for about two years now and we took a little break. This is the longest break I've ever taken from the podcast. We had about a month apart. I spent time like just understanding again why this is my passion project. Do you know when you do something so much and you burn yourself out from it that by the time you
Want to like pour your heart into it. You're just exhausted and you don't know how to do so anymore I think this is relatable to anything in our lives You need to take a break when your body and your mind are asking you to take a break like this podcast went from being My everything my baby my passion to feeling like a task and that's the last thing that I ever wanted it to be and I don't think that is
ever how we should go about our dreams. So I took some time off and let me tell you how much I missed you guys. In the month that I wasn't recording, all I could think about was things I wanted to share with you, to talk to you about, and I just wanted to record. And it honestly has been so beautiful and I'm so grateful and I'm so honored that I've gotten DMs saying, oh my gosh, we missed the podcast, bring back moments Monday. Like it's just...
So crazy to think that you guys tune in and you listen because in my head, you know, we're just talking one-on-one and I'm sitting in a room by myself, but I always am so encouraged when I remember that we are an entire team, an entire community, and this is all of our babies. You know, this helps all of us feel less alone, not just me, not just you, but every single person who's listening, who's listening to this podcast.
is feeling a lot of the same things and it's truly beautiful. Anyways, I've missed you and I'm back and the future of this podcast is bright and it is beautiful and it is vibrant and welcome to season two. If this is your first time ever tuning in, my name is Lexi. Like I said, I'm 23. I have absolutely, it's honestly kind of disgusting that I had to just say I'm 23 because I still feel 16 every single day.
I'm figuring it out. I think I'm a teenager living in an adult's world and I don't know how to do it, but the truth is none of us do. So what this podcast is about is simply figuring it out together and talking through
our feelings and our emotions and every single thing that we have going on because all of it is okay and all of it is normal and some of it's fun and scary and beautiful, but it is all something to appreciate and to be grateful of. And if there's another thing I want you to be able to take away from this podcast ever,
It's that I know it's hard, but it is part of the journey and it is something valuable, whether it's going to be a lesson or a blessing. And if you have been listening for two plus years, you're probably sick of hearing me say that. Anyways, that's me. That's how we got here. I've been doing this for a minute now.
I'll start it on TikTok with 60 second videos and now we talk once a week for 30 to 40 minutes, which is honestly insane. And half the time I don't know what I'm even talking about, but that's why we're here together. But I do know what I'm talking about today and I'm very excited to share this with you. I am telling you a lot of different questions that you need to ask yourself to get to know yourself deeper. Essentially an overview, the first steps, the beginning steps on how to
Truly get to know yourself because I think that we live in a day and an age and in a world where we are not so encouraged to figure out ourselves at our core. You know, we're encouraged to decide, oh, do you want to be a doctor or a teacher or a lawyer or a therapist? Like what career path do you want to do? Which, yes, this is a key factor in getting to know yourself is figuring out what you want to do.
But even deeper than that, how do we figure out what we want to do? Right? We have to know who we are on a much deeper level to figure out the things that are going to bring us joy long term. Like what career path are we going to want to take? Especially when we live in a day where there's so many different career paths and you don't have to stick to just one. I believe that it is more important to know yourself at your core to make your life a
Sorry, I'm yawning. I'm out of breath. I'm just talking so fast. I'm so excited. Something I'm working on is slowing down my speaking. Someone commented on one of my TikToks like, girl, breathe. And I was like, you're right. Let's slow it down. Back to what I was saying. Getting to know yourself deeper is going to make your life do a 180 for so many different reasons. I...
strongly believe that when you know yourself deeper, you love yourself deeper. And I believe that you magnetize, you literally draw in the right people to your life when you know yourself. Because you're not figuring yourself out based on other people, you already know yourself.
And that's solid. That's firm ground. And I really think that that helps in drawing in the right relationships and the right friendships. And yes, there's still going to be bad friendships and bad relationships no matter how well you know yourself. But besides the point, I think that knowing yourself helps get rid of a lot of those unnecessary steps in finding your people.
I think that we work better and we work stronger when we know ourselves, when we know our strengths, when we know our weaknesses. I think that we function better in society when we know how to function in a way that works best for us. Each and every one of us has a completely different brain, a completely different set of DNA to which we cannot all function the same.
Mind you, we live in a world where it is extremely encouraged to function the exact same as everybody else who is walking on this earth. And I don't think it takes a scientist to realize that not a single one of us are the same and can function the same. So I think when we, again, going back to knowing our strengths and weaknesses, can help us a lot in figuring out what way to function. Does that make sense? I sure hope so. They're yawning again. I'm so sorry, guys. What is going on? Anyways.
Moving on, even if you are someone who knows yourself, take me for example. I have studied myself quite a bit. I have done a lot of reflecting on myself. That being said, I am also constantly changing. The external parts around me are constantly changing. And when that is happening, there is a solid chance that what's going on for me internally is going to change as well.
I am not the same person that I was before my relationship as I am a year into my relationship with the person that I believe I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Right? Like, yes, most of my core values and all of that stuff has stayed the same, but a lot of other factors in my life have changed that have caused...
The deeper parts of myself to change, you know the way I view love the way I view my future And that's good. That's supposed to happen. We are 120% Meant to change that is the whole point of life But my point here is since we're constantly changing since our life is constantly changing You can't just know yourself when you're eight years old and apply that to the rest of your life. You need to revisit this re
evaluate who you are and get to know yourself once every year. I mean, think about your friendships, right? If you are in a long distance friendship or even relationship or not romantic, any relationship, that friendship, think about, okay, let me, sorry, there's a lot of different scenarios going through my head. Let me give you a specific one instead of 20 million of them at once. Another thing I'm working on. You have a best friend from high school.
You go to different colleges, you move to different states, you don't catch up as often as you used to. You need to reevaluate that friendship every year or so to get to know each other, to catch up on each other's life. We know that. With other people, we're very aware of the fact that friendships change, relationships change, and in order to keep the relationship healthy and growing and beautiful and blossoming...
You have to water it. You have to keep checking in with each other. So in what world should our relationship with ourself be any different? We tend to undermine, undervalue our relationship with ourself. And I don't know why. It is the most important one that exists. Any friendship, any relationship, none of it is more important than the relationship that you have with you. Because you are on a team with yourself.
It's you and you. Not you versus you. Not you with... It's you and you. You guys have to be a team. And I like to just sometimes look in the mirror. I'm looking in a mirror right now. And just remind myself of that. Like, we don't... I don't have to be an enemy of her. I don't have to be competing against her. I don't have to be jealous of her. I am with her. And I want to know her. And I want to know her so deeply. And I want to...
look at this relationship that I have with myself the same way I look at my relationship with the love of my life. I want it to continue to flourish and grow and blossom and I think that it's beautiful my relationship has taught me that like I'm glad I took that away from it but yeah me and me come first. Now into the question since it's been 10 minutes of basically starting us up here.
Oh, another thing, duh. Not only are we changing, not only do we need to revisit this because we're changing, I think a lot of us forget that this relationship is so important and we pour so much of ourselves, which is beautiful, I'm not trying to take away from this, into other people and into other people's needs. And I am a huge believer in giving and serving and doing good in the world. Yes.
but not if you're taking away from you, not if you're emptying your cup to give to others. Your cup must be full, it must be overflowing, and then you will have all of this extra to give to others. So you're understanding that you have to heal you first before we can focus on others. And in some cases, helping others helps your cup fill up. For me, when I volunteer at the dog shelter,
I notice my cup gets more full and I love myself more when I'm doing that. So you just have to figure it out and you have to evaluate it, but you come first. Your cup cannot be empty and you cannot expect to fill other people's cup when yours has nothing in it. You get what I'm saying? Yawning again, really not breathing while I talk.
Yeah, so when we're so focused on other people and other people's needs, we're disconnected from our own thoughts and our own feelings and we need to reconnect to those, okay? Let's get to the questions now that I've talked to you. You're off. I made a guide for this week's episode, so we're back on having a little bit of structure, which is nice. I always forget how nice it is for me to have at least something to look at because...
My listeners of a long time, you know how this brain works. It is an unmedicated ADHD brain that I love and I think it is the greatest thing, but she doesn't always come in handy when I'm trying to get through topics and conversations and articulating my thoughts. This episode of the Moments Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
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Number one, I'm just going to leave you with like six or seven questions, however many I have written down to start with. And if you enjoy this episode and now you're really craving knowing more about you, we can do this again. You guys know where to find me in my DMs, in my comment section, whatever you want. At your core, what do you stand for? Okay, is it people, animals? Is it the environment? Is it money? Is it success? Is it success?
family is it, traveling, okay? What is important to you? And you don't always have to... If it's not saving the planet or giving your life up to help other people, I don't think that's something to be ashamed of. Like, I think it's okay to really, really, really want to see the world. Everybody has different core values and...
You know, that being said, I think it's important to still be a good person and a good, decent human in society that helps others and wants to and like recycle. It's okay if you don't think your passion or your purpose or your core value is to save the earth. But that being said, I think that once you figure these things out, it's very important to ask yourself if you're proud of them.
Okay, write all of this down, please. I'm begging you to write this down. I'll probably share it on the moments Instagram, which if you don't follow, it's the moments pod. I'll post some of this, but write this down. Okay, what are your values? Are you proud of them? Why or why not? Okay, evaluate what's the most important things to you.
And I think that this is going to help answer a lot of questions. It's not going to be the easy solution to everything. Like your career is not going to be based off the number one thing that's the most important to you. But that being said, you don't want to involve yourself in a career that goes against what your number one value is, what's the most important to you. If traveling is the most important thing in the world to you, you should avoid stepping into a career that is going to hold you back from that.
Because yes, I understand that we have bills to pay, that we have responsibilities, that we can't just travel the world 365 days a year. Some people can and some people find a way to make that happen. And that is, excuse my language, but it's fucking incredible to see people make a way for themselves to do that. But aside from the point, that's not an option for everyone.
But there are options where you can make sure that you can at least have time off to travel, to go somewhere once every few months, a couple times a year, whatever it may be. These are very important things to think about before we step into our future. And I just think that everybody should know that.
What is the most important to you? What are your core values? And I think that this can also apply to what are your morals? Where is your heart? Not necessarily politically, but my first thought when I think of my morals and values is like, where do I stand politically? And am I certain that that's how I feel? Or do I just feel that way because other people feel that way because that's what I'm being pushed to believe? Like figure out.
What do you want to see happen in the world? What do you want? Disregarding what anyone has to say ever, where do you stand? And I do think that's something to be proud of. Like I was always kind of nervous to talk about where I stood in politics and I was worried like, oh my God, what if people don't like my opinion? But then I had to really sit down and remember that I'm proud of my opinion. I'm proud that I'm a freaking, I'm about as liberal as it gets.
Does that ruin my relationship with anybody who is Republican, who is on the right side, who is more conservative? No. Because we are all supposed to have different moral compasses and different things that are important to us. And yes, I do think there's a line and a boundary. I'm not going to associate with people who are disgusting towards other people. But in a more general idea, I should not base my relationship with other people based on what their moral compass says.
You get what I'm saying? But I should be secure in my own, right? I hope I'm making sense. We're moving on to the next one because I'm getting ahead of myself. Here we are with another yawn. Somebody have a yawn count on this week's episode? Okay. No matter the circumstances, what are the things that bring you joy without fail? I will give you an example of mine. My number one thing that brings me joy, no matter how dark of a place I'm in, how shitty I feel, how sick I am, how busy I am,
No matter what, being in the sun will bring me joy. It will bring me comfort to feel the sun warm my skin and move through my body and into my heart. Another thing that is going to bring me joy no matter what is jumping in the ocean. Okay, maybe for you it's reading or it's watching movies or filming, taking photos, running,
Eating, knitting, painting, playing a sport. Think about your hobbies. Think about what you love. Think about the hobbies that have not gotten old for you. You have never gotten sick of them. Is it old people? Is it babysitting? Is it learning? Is it taking notes? Is it cleaning? Is it sleeping? Yawning? Is it traveling? Is it... The options are endless. But I want you to sit down right now and if you're listening to this driving, just pause it for a second and think.
What makes me happy no matter what? Another thing that makes me happy and brings me joy no matter the circumstances is my best friend who has been my best friend for 18 years. We could be in the world's biggest fight, which we never really get in crazy big fights, but
I would still feel an undeniable, unhideable amount of happiness and joy if I got to hang out with her and spend time with her. That one hits extra hard right now because she moved away for work. Depressing. We'll do an episode on that too. But aside from the point, what is it that brings you joy? Okay? Not what is trending on TikTok that brings other people joy. Not what does...
Your favorite influencer, love. Like, yes, the things might align and maybe me saying I love the sunshine and going in the ocean will spark the fact that that is something that brings you joy. But again, deleting the outside world. What do you love? What do you really, really want to spend your time doing? Maybe it's scrapbooking. Maybe it's, I don't know, rolling in the sand, making snowmen. The options are endless. Maybe it's swimming, diving,
I don't know, I can't think of anything else, but you get the point. Think about the things that bring you the most joy and don't lose sight of these. As life takes over, as we go into the corporate robot scary world, don't lose sight of what brings you joy. We are encouraged to work, work, work, go, go, go, and never make time for the things that we love, but I strongly think it is essential to make sure
That we have time for the things that we love because I really do believe we work better and we work harder when we give our brain breaks and when we do and make time for our happiness things, our things that we enjoy. And yeah, okay, enough said about that.
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Another thing to think about as you move, it's so hard to kind of do this podcast sometimes because I know that every once in a while I have someone listening who's 50 and has their career and someone who's listening who's 13 or 14 or 15, high school, college, figuring out what they want their career to be. So either way, whether it's moving into a career or just moving through the next few years of your life, make sure you're moving into things that can still, I'm not saying you have to do everything
Hold on, I'm working on my words here. I'm not saying you have to find a job or a career that is solely based around the thing that brings you joy no matter what because that's nearly impossible. What I'm saying is to find a career that still allows you to have time for these things. If you are an outdoor girl, a lover of nature, an outdoor guy, I don't know who's listening. Anyone. Any... anyone who's listening.
If you need to be in the outdoors because that is what makes your soul smile and light up from the inside out, maybe look at career paths that involve being outside or going outside. Maybe avoid the direction of a career that puts you in an office in a cubicle with no windows. If you're not someone who gives a shit about being outside, which is a lot of people, and you honestly hate being outside and you hate being cold and you hate sweating, maybe an office is a perfect setting for you, right?
evaluate what you love without outsiders ideas. And I emphasize that because I am someone too who is a scroller. I love TikTok. I love Instagram. I follow 20 million influencers and I am easily influenced, okay? If I see someone doing something that's super fun for them and then it starts trending and everyone loves it, but I don't really love it. I just kind of pretend I do because everyone does. That's not being true to myself.
That's not gonna help me understand myself or create a life that actually makes me happy and joyful, right? Don't always go on the yellow brick road, okay? Sometimes take the green brick road or the red one or the pink one. You following? Moving on. What do you believe your strengths are? Okay, everybody has strengths. I have fallen into the dark place many times. Honestly,
I think I'm just finally getting out of feeling like this for a while. Feeling like I had no strengths and I was just a bunch of weaknesses. There's nothing that I can bring to the world and it's a horrible way to think. Honestly, that is my weakness is thinking like that because each and every one of us brings value to the world. Each and every one of us has a purpose, has a reason for being here. We all have things that we're good at, okay?
Are you kind? Giving? Do you have a warm heart? Are you always on time? Are you self-driven? Are you a good listener? Are you a problem solver? A good communicator? Are you honest? Are you flexible? Patient? Are you positive? Are you dedicated? The list goes on and on and on. When I was making this guide, I just googled most common strengths that people have and I wrote them down and that's what I just shared with you. But going even deeper than that,
Every single one of us is good at something. Are you good at braiding your little cousin's hair? Are you good at singing? Are you good at vacuuming? Like you don't miss a spot. Are you good at folding laundry? Like getting down to the little things, you need to start believing and understanding that you are good and capable and valuable and amazing at things that you do.
And stop putting yourself in a box of self-doubt and negativity and just bringing yourself down because going back to why we even started this episode and what we're trying to do in this episode is to create more love for ourself and to be on the same team as ourself. And if we can't know our strengths, we can't love ourselves. And that's something that I am working through right now because there she is, YonCount. Um...
Obviously, you know, I've been doing social media for four or so years now. I have had a whole lot of opinions. I have read a whole lot of things about me. And people say nasty things. You know, some of it can be constructive criticism. I love to accept that. Like, I literally know that I am a human who makes mistakes and I always have things to learn. There are also people who just like to bring others down.
And it is really easy for all of us, whether it's your uncle saying, oh, that's what you want to be when you grow up or your random friend making fun of the TikTok that you made because you're trying to put your foot in the door or your parents making you feel like you're not making progress. All of those things can stab us in the heart and they can bring us down. And we live in a world where it is very common for people to bring others down. And you need to remember that.
that half the time, most of the time, not half, it's not true. And none of it, never, 100% of the time, it is not personal. And when people attack you, it's not because of you. It's 99% of the time because of them. It's because of what they're going through, what they're healing from, what they're trying to figure out. And if someone is just trying to bring you down because they are a hater or a bully,
it has nothing to do with you and you need to block it out and I think a very good way of blocking it that out is by knowing your strengths and knowing yourself and being confident and proud of yourself for what you can do and I think that when you start by noticing the little things that you're good at you'll slowly start to recognize the big things that you're good at and it's going to take some time especially if you're coming from a very dark place of self-doubt like going back to a relationship example I never knew
how much I could love. Obviously, I love my family and I love my best friends and I love each and every one of you guys, but that's very different than a romantic love. But now, after being in my relationship for as long as I have, I understand that one of my strengths is loving, is the way that I give love and I show love and I communicate and I listen.
And I'm proud of that. And I'm not really ashamed to say that I'm good at it either. And for a long time I was. Or I didn't understand that I was good at it. Right? So know your strengths. Think about your strengths. Give yourself the value and the worth that you deserve. Pour that into yourself. Okay? Now. Sorry. Yawning. See, I would cut these out, but that would not be very real of me. So we're keeping them in, of course.
What are our weaknesses? You know, we can't only look at our good traits. We have to also accept that as humans, we cannot be perfect. We cannot be 100% great at everything at all. Like the same way that I'm so loving and I'm a great communicator and I'm a great listener. If I'm upset, I'm kind of none of those things.
I accept that, I know that, I communicate that to my people that are close to me. I kind of warn them, like, "Hey, this is something I'm constantly working on, but I just want to warn you, I just want to let you know that if I say something kind of out of line or mean, it's not because of you, it's because of me." Just know that you have flaws. Know that you are wrong sometimes and you are not always going to be perfect.
And know that that's okay. Again, you're a human. I'm a human. Each and every one of us has weaknesses, right? And I think that to know ourselves at the deepest level, we must recognize that we're not good at everything. And then in a less... My brain just farted. One second. One second. I'm looking at my little guide here and it confused me. See, sometimes it's better to not have this guide. But I think that when we know our weaknesses...
we can move ourselves in the right direction of our future. Again, whether it's finding a career. If you are someone who struggles very badly with time management or organization skills like I do, you can find a job where that can become a strength for me. And honestly, I've talked about this many times on the podcast. With my unmedicated ADHD brain, I can be all over the place. I have a really hard time
doing one task at a time, which is part of the reason that doing social media has been such a gift for me because I have the ability to take my brain in a million places at once. And it honestly helps me create new projects and new goals and keep up with the pace of social media because it's very fast.
And if my brain was not as quick and all over the place as it was, I don't think that this is something that I could do. Therefore, I found something that I used to view as a weakness and I've turned it into a strength for me. And...
This can apply to any weakness, any strength, okay? We're all going to have things. So figure out what they are. Like I'm going to give you an example. Again, I looked up the list of some common weaknesses. Are you short-tempered, impatient? Are you blind to time, easily overwhelmed? Are you insecure? Can I speak? Insecure, self-critical. Are you a perfectionist? Are you disorganized? Are you impulsive? Are you sensitive, right? And I know it is so pushed upon us
To just figure these things out and figure out how to turn them off and how to be perfect and how to be constantly grateful and on time and never sad and always happy and always smiling and always perfect and always aligned and always driven and motivated. That's what people want us to be.
But if you just take a deep breath and recognize that you can't be all of that at one time, it will make your life feel lighter. And I'm saying that from the deepest parts of my core and of my heart to just let you know and to just remind you that it's okay to not be perfect. Yes, we can constantly be working towards being better and being more kind and perfect and all of those things that I just said. But
But give yourself the time to do so and recognize that you're a human. You are not a robot. Okay, moving on. The next one. Oh my gosh, I have more questions than I thought. So let's go through these last few and hopefully a little bit quicker because I've talked to Errol for 30 minutes now. But we can definitely do a part two to this if you want. What is your fear? Okay, on a deeper scale than spiders or heights.
Is it rejection? Is it failure? Is it intimacy? Is it... I don't know. What is it? What are you so deeply afraid of? The thing that you don't really want to tell people you're afraid of. For me, one of the things I was so scared of for so many years of my life was intimacy. Not in like a "Oh my god, I'm so scared of like hooking up with a boy" kind of way intimacy. Like yes, that too.
but I was so scared of letting someone see the parts of me that I didn't even like. And I ran from things that probably could have been beautiful. Now, looking back, I can understand that everything happened perfectly for a reason because because I ran from these things, I ended up with the love of my life. But I ran from things in relationships and people simply because I was scared that they were going to see the parts of me that I even hide from myself. And I was so scared.
So scared. Like the whole first three months of my relationship with Gabe, I was terrified. I spent day after day like sick to my stomach, anxious the same way that I was back in middle school. And I couldn't really talk about it because I couldn't explain to anyone that I was just afraid of someone getting to know me. It sounds silly to a lot of people who don't have that fear. Right. And also on the physical scale, like I was terrified of being intimate with someone physically.
to that extent romantically if you know what i'm saying but it turns out like once you face your fears the only way to make them not your fears is to face them head on you know like didn't there used to be a show where they would make people face their fears like if they were terrified of spiders they put them in a room full of spiders or something maybe i'm making that up but i do believe that it's okay to be afraid of things but i also have always said and i'll say it till i'm in the grave
to chase your fears, to look at them head on and just say suck it and punch them in the face. And I strongly say this one with a lot of passion in my voice because this is one of those that I don't always practice but I'm constantly preaching it and as we know I don't practice what I preach all the time but I always preach what I know I need to practice and all of us need to face our fears.
So if it's failure, you have to take the risk because there is nothing but goodness that comes from failure. And I don't think that you can reach success if you don't fail. And I think that failure teaches us maybe this isn't my path. Maybe there's something else better for me, but you have to try or you're going to spend your whole life wishing you tried and regretting that you didn't all because you were scared of failing. You don't want to do that.
Face your fears. Okay? If it's rejection, shoot your shot. Apply for the job. And if it's rejected, you're redirected. Like I know you've all heard the quote, rejection is redirection. And it is. You have to try. You have to go for it. You have to do things to realize that things aren't meant for you or that things are meant for you. You get what I'm saying? Just go and move forward and push forward towards the things that are scaring you. Next.
What is your version of success? Everyone's looks different. Okay. In the world that we live in, a lot of people's definition of success is to have a lot of money, have a happy family, fame or validation from others, or have materialistic things. In a lot of places, especially in the US, that's what people care about. We care about making a lot of money.
And now, of course, I'm not like invalidating the fact that we need to make money. I know that we need to make money to live and to survive. What I'm trying to say here is that there are people who only care about big crazy numbers and boats and jets and Louis Vuitton bags and that's okay. I'm not here to judge that. But I'm just here to ask you if that's what's really important to you.
Like, yeah, it all sounds nice. It's thrown in our face. It's rubbed in our face. It's pushed upon us to make a lot of money and to have a lot of things. But if you had all that and you didn't have love and you didn't have true friendship and you didn't have a relationship with yourself and you didn't have a place that ever felt like home, would you feel successful? Like, if you just had money, a yacht, and a husband...
Maybe that husband didn't love you, didn't treat you right, didn't show you affirmation and true love and maybe treated you poorly. Would you feel successful? I pause because think about it. Think about it. Money will never buy happiness. Can money make people happy? Yeah, of course. I love traveling. I love spending my money on traveling. It's not the source of my happiness. What success looks like to me is good relationships,
good routine with myself a good relationship with food and my body good people Nature I need nature and if I didn't have a beautiful environment I would definitely not feel successful and I'm blessed that I've grown up in Florida But it's something that's important to me. So ask yourself and and don't compare it to mine What does success look like for you? And there's nothing wrong with it being money or a relationship or yacht just make sure that
But if that was all you had, would you still feel happy? Would you still feel fulfilled? Because for me, yes, I could have money. I could travel the world. I could do all these things. But if I didn't have a best friend, I wouldn't feel successful. You get what I'm saying? And if I had a best friend but not all of those other things, I would still feel fulfilled. So take it from there, okay? Look at success kind of from the bottom up, not the top down.
Make sense? I hope so. Moving on. Oh, I wrote this down and I like it. Okay. So this is exactly what I wrote. Kind of just what I said, but this puts it in a shorter version. What is your version of success? Okay. Everyone's looks different. Is it money? Is it fame? Is it validation from others? What is it you think those things will bring you? You think it's going to bring you happiness or relationships or joy or satisfaction? I think that we should switch the order in which these go.
Maybe happiness, joy, and satisfaction we focus on first and then the others. Hope that makes sense, okay? How do I act around others versus myself? If they're different, why? And which do you like better, right? Why do some of us
act completely different around people. Now, if you ask me this, if you put me in a setting of people I don't know, I do act very different because I have really bad social anxiety and I get really stressed and I just kind of, my brain turns off, which is part of the reason I get so nervous to do, I don't know, meetups or live shows or whatever it may be because of my fear. So should I face it? Yeah, probably. Everyone's like, Lexi, you literally just told us to face our fears. But aside from the point,
When I'm around the people that I love, my circle, I am the exact same person that I am alone. I am weird, obnoxious, for lack of a better word, I'm quirky and annoying. And I drive myself insane and I drive my friends insane. And I am so glad that I can be that person I am by myself with my friends and with my people. But just ask yourself, the circle that you have around you, do you feel you can act the same way that you do alone with them?
It's important because if you can't act like yourself with your people, your people aren't going to feel like home and you're never really going to feel like you're home. You know, you're never going to feel the right kind of connection in your relationships if you can't be yourself. Now, also important to take note that those kind of relationships take time and sometimes a very long time. I was very nervous in the beginning of my relationship with Gabe because
I was scared to act like myself, you know? I was scared to be annoying and cringy because one, part of it just could not come out of me because I just didn't want to ruin like, you know, a fresh, fun relationship. But it also took time to get comfortable enough with each other, to get to know each other. Sorry about the banging. They're taking out the trash next door. We needed to get to know each other before I could fully be myself. So evaluate that. Evaluate...
Just that question in general. I'll let you kind of take that one into your own hands because I really don't know how to explain it deeper at the moment, but we could get back into it another time. The next one, we have three more. Okay, I'll make them quick. Who is truly a part of your circle, right? This kind of ties into the last question. Are these people you could tell anything to or would you feel judged or embarrassed by talking to them about your deepest fears and desires and dreams? Never have a circle that doesn't support you.
Because that circle will keep you in the ground. Now, listen to me. There's crazy dreams and goals that I have that I say to my best friend in the whole wide world and my parents. And they're like, Lexi, you're insane. They say it like that, but not like, oh, really? You think you could do that? That's what you want to do?
Do you know what I'm talking about? I know you know what I'm talking about. You can tell when someone doesn't believe in you and doesn't want to see you do something versus someone that's just like, dude, you're crazy. You're freaking crazy and I love it. You know, that's how I feel. My best friend and my parents make me feel. The good version, not the bad one. Right? I keep saying right. I don't know where I got that from. But what are your friends teaching you? Please never forget the quote. This is so, so, so important.
You become the five people that you keep closest to you. What are your people teaching you? What are you taking away from them? Because you need to make sure it's good things or you need to reevaluate your circle. Okay, and I know this is a list about getting to know ourselves deeper, but I do believe that in order to know ourselves deeper, we have to also evaluate our friendships and our relationships because of this quote exactly. You are the five people that you keep closest to you. Okay, next.
What do you actually love about yourself? Kind of goes back to our strengths. But what do you as of right now love about yourself? Is it your hair, your eyes, your teeth, or is it your deeper... What's the word I'm looking for? Your deeper features. Your heart, your brain, your desire, your passion. What is it that you love about yourself? And if it's nothing, this is where you're going to stop the episode. You're going to stop your car. You're going to go to the bathroom.
And you are going to whip out your phone, go to your notes, and start thinking about what you love. And if there's nothing, you force yourself to find something because you need to love yourself. And it's okay to have things that you dislike. I understand that. But more importantly, there needs to be at least a few things that you truly love about yourself. Because you should. You deserve to. You are beautiful. You are beautiful.
One of a kind. I mean genuinely one of a kind. There's a one trillion chance that you were born and God chose you to be born. You specifically, okay? So know that you are loved by something else and love yourself. Love something about yourself. All right, next. Last question. Where do you feel at home? What is your safe space?
It could be a place. It could be a person. It could be yourself. It could be laying in the grass. It could be in the ocean. It could be when you're taking a shit. I don't care what it is, but evaluate what it can be in the classroom. It can be at your job. It can be having lunch with your dad. Our safe place in our home is different person to person. Your home is not going to be the same as my home, but you should know what it is. 110%.
And if you don't know, that's okay. If you don't have, aside from what do you love about yourself, if you don't have the answers to all of these questions, that's okay. That's why I'm asking you them. You have to think about them. They're not just going to come to you. Like, if someone were to interview me right now and ask me the answer to all these questions, there's a pretty solid chance I wouldn't have them. So as I give you this episode and give you these things to think about, know that it is not coming from someone who has all the answers.
99.9% of us don't have all the answers and we probably never will because they're always changing but essentially this is a list for you to always keep in the back of your mind and to always think about and to answer to the best of your ability when you get the chance to. Maybe it's once a week, maybe it's once a month, maybe it's once every couple of months, once every two years. Whatever you can do and you can make the time to do, do.
And what I want your takeaway from this episode to be is, well, of course, everything I said in the past 45 minutes. But also, it's you and you. And in order to be on the same team as yourself, you have to know yourself. And knowing yourself is one of the most important things that we can do in this life because we are not encouraged to do so, which is exactly why we should. You following? I love you.
from the bottom of my heart. And I hope you know that even though I might not directly know you, I know you. And I know that you are a miracle and a gift and you bring value and goodness to this world. And I believe in you and I support you. And I am here to be your friend and your sister and whatever it is that you want me to be and you need me to be, I want to be there. Whether it's from afar, it's definitely from afar for most of us.
But it's me and you together. We're all figuring it out as we go. Take some of the pressure off. Just take a deep breath and enjoy your life. And remember that even being here is a gift and it's a hard gift to have sometimes, especially because we didn't really ask for it. But it is. It is. It really, really is.
And I'm grateful for you and I love you and thank you for tuning into the moments podcast. I'm so glad that you're back. I hope that this season is even more beautiful than the past and I'm really glad that you've joined me. And in case you're new here and this is your first time listening to moments, I want to start saying this at the end of episodes, go ahead and follow my Instagram, follow my TikTok. I post a lot of the things that I talk about on here regularly.
tie very closely connected to what I post on there but it's Lex Hidalgo L-E-X-X H-I-D-A-L-G-O you can find me on there you can find the moments pod Instagram there's a lot of different places you can find me except YouTube but we'll get to that when we get to that
I also have a guided journal coming out. If you want prompts and questions to really ask yourself and to really get to know yourself, because for me, I didn't know I needed to know myself until I started journaling, which is why I published one. You can pre-order it now on Amazon. You can pre-order it. Link will be in the description. And it's just full of prompts.
to get to know yourself deeper. And I poured my whole heart and soul into it. And I think you'll love it. And it comes out April 16th. So if you order it on Amazon Prime, you'll have it probably on the 16th or 17th. But I love you guys big time. You're my greatest friends and my greatest blessing. And it's me and you. It's us. I love you forever. Bye.