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Couldn't figure out what to talk about. I felt like we were kind of due for a little advice session. And then I wonder, like, what is my advice good for? You know, what education do I have to back my advice? Like, who am I to give you advice? And like, I'll get in my head about that once in a while.
And then I really just have to come back and remember, like sometimes it doesn't matter who the advice is coming from. Some people just need to hear certain things. They just need a reminder. They just need some comfort. They just need a big sister, a best friend, like a friend feel. And that's what I'm here to give you. What are my qualifications for giving you advice are being 23 and having gone through some of these things.
Obviously, I'm only 23. I have so much life ahead of me. I have so much more to learn. But sometimes we don't want to take advice from somebody who's 45. Sometimes just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser. And that's not to say that there's not things we can learn from the older generation because there absolutely is. But sometimes we just need to hear from somebody who's just like us. So with that being said, this isn't an advice session, but it is more so an episode talking about our speed bumps.
What is making us feel stuck? What is holding us back right now? What are the thoughts that are crippling us in any kind of way? Because I know there's been so many different stages in my life recently and just throughout my whole life where there's these speed bumps, but they're not even speed bumps. They're like these blockages in the road. Like my mind has stopped me from so many things out of fear, out of anxiety, whatever it may be, out of doubt, out of insecurity, out of
I would get stuck on certain things. So I posted on my Instagram story. I said, I'm recording for a moments podcast, helping us through all of our speed bumps. Where do you feel stuck? Let's talk about it. So a lot of people, there's so many responses and honestly, it's only been up for about an hour. So the reality here is that we're all stuck somewhere, but these are speed bumps, not blockages. And if in any way possible, if any of these are relatable to you,
Please, take everything I say with a grain of salt and use it in any way that you can to better your future or to feel better. The only goal of this is to just help us all feel a little bit better. I have been on such a mental spiral thinking about the state of the world right now. It is so messed up in every direction, at every angle. Like, I'm not here to start arguments, to be controversial. Like, I think that every single person
thing going on in this country right now needs improvement and it's simple like a lot of times I'll say the things that are wrong with our country and people are like well then just move the bar should not be that low if you love something you should constantly be fighting for it to be better for it to be safer for it to be happier but I'm not even going to get into this whole can of worms right now the reason I bring this up is because I posted a TikTok on it today and anytime I try to speak my mind speak my thoughts speak my feelings on the internet I get so
overwhelmed and overstimulated watching people argue or hearing people call me an idiot, whatever it may be for like the next few days. So that's just, it's heavy on my heart right now, what's going on in the world. And I don't feel like I'm at a point at all educated enough to sit here and tell you facts because I will never know the 100% truth of what's going on on either side in any lane of what's happening in the world. Basically,
We all need to just zoom out, step back and start pouring a little bit more into our compassion again. And just like literally caring about people. Okay, moving on. I'm just staring at my phone. We're going to scroll through these as we go. And we're going to, we're just going to talk. We're going to talk our heart, talk our mind. High school.
I'd like to enjoy it more, but I kind of don't know how. I did a full episode on my advice for high school or things I wish I listened to in high school. So you can tune into that if you want to hear more. But I kind of understand this because I made a video. I made that video. I posted on TikTok and then I did a podcast on it too on like things I wish I knew in high school or did or listened to. And one of those things was I wish that I enjoyed it more. I wish that
I wasn't so ready to leave. But I know how much easier it is to say that now than to have actually lived in it. When people would tell me to enjoy the moment and enjoy high school at that point, I probably would have been like, don't tell me what to do. You don't know anything. You're not my age. It's so different than it used to be. And all of those things are true. But I guess my advice would be to just first be aware of that.
Be aware that you are living in a moment that you're one day going to look back and wish that you could maybe not relive, but you're going to look back and miss this moment. And I notice that in myself a lot. It's really easy for us to get caught up on the next step, the next chapter. We're so ready to just get out of the moment that we're currently in.
And one day we look back and miss everything about that moment or we wish that we could go back to it. And it's something that we constantly do. And I think that if it's something that we keep doing for the rest of our lives, for all of the time that we have ahead of us, we're going to miss life. And it's going to be over and behind us before we even know it. So be aware. Be aware that this is a chapter that you should appreciate. And that's really the first step to doing so.
and allow it to be fun. Again, my biggest advice for high school is to be friends with your teachers, to get involved in clubs, to do things that are extracurricular, to go to the pep rallies and the sporting events. All of that is fun. And I know that every school is different, but that's one thing I wish I did more of in high school because when I did do it, those were the moments that I look back and I loved school. Make it enjoyable. You have the power to do that.
So I don't really know if that's too much advice, but the first step in that speed bump is to just be aware, which it seems that you are. But just do your best every day. Wake up and ask God or write it down. Today, I'm going to be grateful and appreciative of this chapter of my life. I feel that a lot with this chapter of home renovation. I'm so ready for it to be done. And I'm constantly like, oh, I'm
I can't wait for this part to be done. But like, I'm not taking a step back and recognizing like, I have a home that I get to renovate. Is it is it expensive and exhausting? It absolutely is. But I'm so grateful to make the in a place where I can make these expenses where I can physically move my body and do this work and look at this mess and live in it with a roof over my head. That is a bigger blessing than so many more people have if you have a roof on your head.
So we just get really caught up in being ungrateful subconsciously. And it's not, you're not ungrateful for being tired of a chapter that you're in or for wanting to be moved into the next one. But sometimes when we can step back and look at the bigger picture of what we really have, it's helpful. Okay, you know, you get me, you get me. I'm hoping.
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Oh, I like this one. I'm afraid of posting the stuff I want. I want to become an influencer, but I don't know how to start. This is something I'm sure I've touched on in many different episodes, but the only way to start is to start. I want to do a whole episode talking to you about how to get started on social media because I think it is a beautiful and powerful place that all of us should take advantage of while we can right now, while we have this at our fingertips. It is so accessible for all of us. I genuinely...
Want you guys to know that the most important thing to do when it comes to getting on social media is to stop paying attention to what the haters have to say. And I know it sounds cliche and you've heard it a million times before, you know,
Be consistent. Be yourself. Forget about the haters. It's so much easier said than done. Thank God it was COVID when I started posting videos because people were sending my videos in group chats. I was getting roasted. I was getting trolled from every single direction, from my parents, from my friends, from my family, from my cousins. It was all over. And the people had something to say until I was doing something that they wished that they could do.
And that's how it's going to go with anything in life. People who see your success as a threat or people who know what you could be doing could work, who are too afraid to do it themselves, are going to be the people that have something to say. It's always the people who haven't tried it who have something to say about it. It's always the people who are too insecure or too afraid of what their friends might say that say something about the people who do step up and try.
And who knows? The worst thing you discover is that social media isn't for you. Social media is something you can do on the side of a full-time job. I was nannying for three different families and working as a full-time summer camp counselor when I first made it on TikTok. And I had fun doing the both of those things. I'm sure over a long enough period of time that would have gotten exhausting. But the point is there's no harm in trying.
Social media is like the biggest form of marketing right now. There's so much knowledge that you can share. Each and every one of us has something that we can share. Whether that's just doing your makeup or making a meal and showing the recipe or vlogging a day with your family or taking your friends, your friends, your followers along with you for a day of work or updating the world on current events or being a big sister or
to your followers. Whatever it is, there's something out there for everybody to do. There's so many niches, there's music, there's film, there's beauty, there's lifestyle, there's fitness, there's... there's everything. The world is your oyster. Social media can be yours in any way and you just have to try. You just have to remember
that people are always going to have something to say, regardless of what you're doing. Do the thoughts in the comments tend to be heavier when it comes to like influencing or social media? Absolutely. The things that people say about influencing is crazy. And I understand that it's such a blessing of a job and there's way too many influencers out there who complain about their job. That is not in any position that any of us should be. If you get to do social media for a
Regardless of how many they are or how much it is like we are we are blessed We are so blessed but that being said people always have something to say people cannot be proud of somebody who is a content creator No matter what pretty much. That's just how it goes, but try it. Just give it a go Just get online and make a video build a personal relationship with the account that you create That's I think my second piece of advice is
posting and posting just like everybody else because it works for other people is a lot less likely to work for you. What is more likely to work for you is to speak from your heart, be genuinely open about yourself, your feelings, your activities. The more real you are, the more authentic your audience is going to be. You get me? Like if you fake who you are, you are never going to feel connected to your audience because that's a fake relationship. It's a fake connection. It's the same way when you
act a certain way to please a group of friends, you're never gonna feel like you're really friends with those people because you know in your heart that you're faking who you were to become their friend. And I feel like a lot of us do that, sometimes subconsciously. Like I can't tell you the amount of times I've wondered, I'm like, "Oh, like why do I spend so much time with this person but I don't actually feel any real connection with this person?" Maybe that's because I was the one who wasn't real in that connection.
because I gave up myself to have that connection. Of course it's not real. And you can often tell the difference between a genuine connection and a fake one. Now I don't know how I got to that from talking about making videos, but let's take it and let's move on. What's next? Okay. How to navigate friends who just want to go out when I don't personally enjoy it. Tough one. I have had this chapter of my life and for me it really just came down to balance. I
got to a point where I, my best friend and I now, she loves to go out less so now, but when we were a little younger, she loved to go out. I have been a going out hater for a few years now, at least I just never does well for me. I wake up depressed for the next three days. I feel horrible about myself. I have no motivation. I don't like to drink, but when I go out, I drink. I know people are always like, well, just don't drink easier said than done for me. I don't know what it is. It's just hard.
And then even going out and not drinking is not a good environment to be on. Everybody's sloppy and falling all over you. Point is, what I had to do and what may work for you is to find that balance, find that compromise. Like my best friend and I, one weekend, I'd be like, okay, it's your weekend. We can go out. Let's have a good time. Next weekend, hey, let's just go bowling. Let's go watch the sunset. Let's make Bella Hadid pasta or Gigi, whatever the one is at home. That actually sounds so bomb right now.
I might have to do that. Anyways, I just put that in my head. You know when you put something in your head and then it's just stuck there? Okay. The next one is, honestly, I feel stuck in being active. I don't move around as much as I'd like to. This is something that I feel like I was kind of struggling with for a little while. And I don't want to say struggling. I just...
factually was moving around a lot less. I was walking less. I was working out less. I was just a lot less active. I wasn't playing pickleball. I wasn't walking Leia as long. Like I was just more lazy is not the right word, but I think what I've learned through that period is one, we put way too much pressure on ourselves to be active, but two moving around does feel good. And it is good to be active, but active. We often look at the word active and we're like, Oh,
I haven't been working out. I haven't been doing my strength training or my gym grind, or I haven't been going to Pilates or I haven't been doing my cardio. Activeness can just mean, like I said, walking around the block. It can mean going to play pickleball. Like we just put too much pressure on
on activity and moving our body. And I think that it is very much important and it is something that we should all kind of focus on slightly, but we should never base our days around how active we're going to be. There's more important things. And I know that's kind of a hot take. And honestly, my opinion on health and wellness and all of that changes probably weekly. Like right now I'm on kind of a protein kick and I'm like, Oh, I want to get back in the gym. I want to
Eat quadruple the amount of protein that I am right now because for the past three weeks I've been eating out and haven't been moving my body. Like just take the pressure off of it and understand that your body is going to move in phases. You're going to work in phases. You might be less active in this chapter of your life because God knows you're going to be more active in the next one. So just trust your body. Listen to your body. That's not to say don't ever move your body. We should all be moving our body, but I hope that made sense. I know I just spoke in circles, but
But just take the pressure off and let your body tell you what it needs. And I think it's telling you what you need for a reason. So just listen to it. I apologize if my brain is going to continue speaking in circles. It's a little bit disappointed right now because it's taking every ounce of my focus and brain agility with my ADHD to be able to not only be listening to the lawnmowers outside. But we're doing my best, okay?
We're doing my best. You know what I meant. The next one is I feel stuck with rebuilding my social stamina. I want to push myself and be more social, but I always feel so drained. Girl, I want to help you over the speed bump too, but I'm stuck on it as well. I am somebody who is a extreme introvert. This is something I've learned recently about myself. I can fake it in social settings, but the only place I really want to be is by myself with my boyfriend or with my best friend.
Those are the only people that don't take up my social battery. Even my family, I'd be getting tired in any social setting. But I think that something, again, we should do here is listen to our body. Listen to our mind. Your body knows everything.
When you can handle a social situation, if you track your cycle, when you're in your, let me give you a cycle breakdown really quick. It's not going to be a completely educational professional, a hundred percent fact cycle breakdown, but it's going to be a Lexi cycle breakdown. Okay. Here's what I understand. And here's how I view my own cycle. You get your period. It's your, your, your menstruating. That's the beginning of your follicular phase. So from
Day one to day four or five, however many days you bleed, that's the beginning of your follicular phase. Your follicular phase, that's about two weeks if you're lucky, week and a half to two weeks. The end of your follicular phase is when you're ovulating. This is when, when you are ovulating, your body is on fire. You are like, I am hot and sexy and I'm ready to mate and I'm ready to go mingle with the world.
This is about two weeks after you first get your period or a week and a half after you first get your period. This come up from the day you get your period to that two week mark, you will be getting increasingly more confident, more energy, more excited about life, more happy, more social, more better, everything in those two weeks.
After that point, after you ovulate, the next week and a half or two weeks or one week, depending on your cycle, it varies for all of us, look this up. You can look up a cycle breakdown in two minutes on YouTube and it's a really interesting video. From the day after you ovulate to the day that you get your period.
for the next month is called your luteal phase. This is when the whole world feels like it's caving in. You literally feel like every day is a drag and everything is difficult. You PMS, you're a little bit angry. Everything is just bothering you. You're not a social butterfly. The last thing you want to do is decide where to go eat or to go out to the bar. This is when it's best for you to focus on your own
social battery in the sense of spending time alone reading your books listening to music at home putting on a podcast going for walks like this is when you need to genuinely be graceful with yourself because a lot of times in my luteal phase I get really angry with myself for not wanting to go out and not wanting to step out of my comfort zone and not wanting to be social but it is human for us to not want to do these things when our hormones are quite literally fighting for the opposite and
Your body is not lying to you. Your body is telling you the truth. And sometimes, even though it sucks, we have to give it the grace that it deserves. So the moral of what I'm trying to tell you here is focus on rebuilding that social stamina in the weeks where your body is actually going to agree with it. In your follicular phase and while you're ovulating, go out and meet people and push yourself the extra edge because your body can actually handle it. In those last week and a half, that last two weeks, don't even try.
Don't put yourself through that. There's no need to do so. But I do applaud you for wanting to make more of those social connections and break those social battery boundaries. I know how it feels and it is hard, but it is important. Community is important and it's not something that we should constantly run from. But we also shouldn't give ourselves such a hard time for being introverts. It's okay. There's a lot of people who can't even handle being alone. So if you prefer it, that's impressive, you know?
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Okay. Ooh, I like this one. These are really good. I might do a part two of this to be completely honest. I feel in a rut with routine. Some days I wake up at 5 a.m. and other days I don't wake up until 11. This is something I struggled with for a very long time. And I would say for like two years of my life, this would happen to me. I would either wake up at five in the morning and go to sunrise or go to a workout class first thing in the morning. And then I would wake up at five in the morning and go to sunrise.
Other days, I would not be able to get myself out of bed until 11. And the reason that I think that that was happening is because, and also this isn't a, I have no judgment towards people who sleep in. We all have different things that work for us. I personally don't feel good when I sleep in. I feel unmotivated. See how loud it is? Can you guys hear that? Background noise. Who needs background music? We have a lawnmower.
I think my biggest piece of advice for the person that wrote that or anybody who feels like they just can't get consistent, just give yourself grace and meet yourself with balance. Like maybe the 6 a.m. lifestyle isn't for you. Maybe you're a 9 a.m. girl. There's nothing wrong with waking up at 9 a.m.
Just find something that actually works consistently. Don't burn yourself out by being so hard on yourself for sleeping in or waking up early or not waking up early enough. We need balance in everything in life. And also just don't be so hard on yourself for living this way. If your body needs rest, your body needs rest. But I encourage you to just what has worked for me is
is just kind of forcing myself to meet myself in the middle. It's not all or nothing. I can wake up at 8 and still have a very productive and happy day. I have so many more of these I want to answer, and I think let's plan on continuing this next Monday because I really only got to go through like three of them, and I could make this episode double its length, but for now, given our circumstances, we're going to cut it here and we're going to call it here, but I'm really grateful for you guys, and I love you.