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This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Today's the day. From Universal Pictures and Blumhouse come a storm of terror from the director of The Shallows, the woman in the yard. Don't let in. Where does she come from? What does she want? When will she leave? The woman in the yard in theaters. If you want to be successful...
You have to change this. This has to change. Listen to me. It's not what makes it hard is your lack of belief that it can happen for you. The fact of it is though, it's very doable. See, but you got to change though. If you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. So if you're at a place in your life and you ain't happy with it, you have to change some things.
but you have to make a conscientious decision that you're going to change. I was not always this strong guy you see. I went through a lot of hard times in my life to get here today. And a story I'll tell you with real quick. I tried once to get in the Air Force to be an Air Force pararescueman and I quit for fear of the water. I was 175 pounds. I left the Air Force four years later at 300 pounds.
I went from 175 to 300 pounds. This is all about the quitting mind. So what's the quitting mind? So let's say it's day one of a job interview. Well, y'all know what that feels like. You have your clothes laid out. You got your food ready to go in the morning. You've been preparing for weeks and weeks and weeks. You show up and you bring your best self. You get the fucking job. Merry fucking Christmas. All right. After a couple of months,
You start showing up to work a little later. You don't look as good. Your clothes aren't laid out. Your breakfast isn't ready. Your mind's getting softer. We do that with everything in life. When New Year's coming up, guess what? Don't have a fucking quitting mind. Repetition every day. Stay hard. When I wake up, I know the journey that it takes for me to find my greatness. And it's hard. Nothing is easy.
Nothing just like, oh, I wake up and I just do this or I do that. It's just, you know, I watch people every day go through life and it's so easy. For me to be where I'm at today, it takes every bit of me. So when I speak about it and as I get going here, you'll start seeing me. The temper will rise. The passion will come out because I'm back there. I'm doing what I do every day to become a human being. There's a long story in there on how that came to be.
But I sat around and read a book on the Medal of Honor. And those guys, all I wanted to be was an uncommon man. And my whole life, I was not that. Much worse than that. But I read stories about men like you, Doc, who had the courage to jump on grenades and stuff like that. So I came home one day from working at a job called Eco Lab where I sprayed for cockroaches. Made $1,000 a month, weighing 300 pounds. And...
I got home and I watched a show on Discovery Channel of guys carrying boats and logs, Navy SEAL training. I decided to make a change in my life. What sort of life would you have to have so that you could bear your suffering nobly? That's a good question to ask yourself. Now, and so we have people just write for 15 minutes. If you could have what you wanted, needed, what might that look like? And there's an instruction there too, is do it badly.
because what the hell do you know and and besides your vision is going to change as you progress through your life and so you're not going to get it done perfectly but that's okay get it down get a rough first draft down right a rough approximation of who you could be if you got your act together not who other people think you should be you know although that might enter into it because you don't want to be completely you can't be who you are properly and ignore
the fact that you're embedded in a social context. If you miss a day, meaning you don't perform four to five things, there is no punishment. And in fact, it's important that you don't actually try and do what in the literature is called a habit slip compensation, which is just fancy psychological language for if you screw up and you don't get all four or five in one day, you don't do eight the next day in order to compensate. After 21 days,
you stop engaging in this 21 day deliberate four to five things per day type schedule. And you simply go into autopilot. You ask yourself how many of those particular habits that I was deliberately trying to learn in the previous 21 days are automatically incorporated into my schedule. How many of them am I naturally doing? In other words, every 21 days, you don't update and start adding new habits.
You simply try and maintain the ones that you built in that first 21 days. Call the recruiter up and he asked me these questions. He had to meet a certain height and weight limit. I was 6'1" and 300 pounds. He laughed at me. Seven other recruiters laughed at me. One recruiter finally said, "Come on in, I'm too busy to talk to you on the phone." He didn't know how much I weighed. I walked into the recruiter's office and he looked at me and he said, "You're fat and you're black."
got someone to be a Navy SEAL. I didn't know there'd only been 35 African-American Navy SEALs at that time in over 70 years. It don't matter what your mama think. It don't matter what your co-workers think. It don't matter what your siblings think. It don't matter what your children think. It don't matter. They have nothing to do with it. This decision is yours and yours alone. It's two people born in a hospital every day.
It's a person that's born in the hospital that's gonna get a job and somebody born in the hospital that's gonna give them a job. You get to decide which one you're gonna be. Nothing is easy. Like, running is running. It sucks. But you have a choice to make. Do you want to sit down and go back to that guy you once were? No. So this is what it takes. It takes that misunderstanding of people and they'll never get it because they were never David Goggins. What would actually motivate you?
And you might think, well, I could never have that. It's like, that's not the question that's being addressed here. Although I would say there's no sense floating off into some kind of impossible juvenile fantasy. We're making an assumption that you're taking the question seriously and that you're going to remain within the bounds of what you regard as sanely reasonable. Getting successful, whatever you consider successful, if it's rich, whatever, it's not a magic trick.
It's not God picks certain people he'll make rich and certain people he don't. He gives all of us as his children the power of choice. What about breaking habits? Certainly many people out there would like to break habits that they feel don't serve them well. I know what it takes to be a combat soldier and I used to look for courage. I thought courage was a man who won the Medal of Honor. It is.
But courage is a man who's willing to put those boots on every single day of his life to go out there and fight for this country where nobody even knows what the hell they're doing or where the hell they're at. You do it for the man beside you. If you have a tree in your backyard that you want to cut down and you have an axe, if every day you pick up that axe and you go to that tree and you swing five times with that axe to hit that tree, put the axe down.
The next day you go out, pick up the axe, swing five times at the tree. Put the axe down. The next day you go out, pick up the axe, and five more times you swing at that tree. Five times every day you pick up the axe and only five, not 15, not 500. If you swing five times a day at that tree with that axe every day, let me ask you a question. What eventually is going to happen to that tree? That tree is going to...
It's essentially a cellular and molecular explanation for how something goes from unlearned to learned to reflexive. In order to identify a specific protocol that one could apply in order to break habits, how do you take two neurons that underlie a habit out of synchrony? How do you get them to fire asynchronously? The way that one would do this is, let's say for instance, you have a habit of picking up your phone mid work session.
You just sort of find yourself doing it because the behavior of picking up your phone is sort of reflexive. You have a say-so in that. You can decide to be rich. And with God's help, it's highly doable. But you first have to think it. The difference between successful people and non-successful people is here.
If you swing five times a day at that tree every day, that tree will fall. End of story. Now, find your tree. What's your goal in life? What's your purpose? What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to knock down? I wanted to be the guy that people looked at, whether they liked me or not, and said,
This guy is never going to stop. I didn't care if I won. I just wanted to be the person who kept getting back up, no matter how many times life knocked me down. I wanted to go the distance and that mindset drove me beyond what I thought was possible. The goal is in some sense, both your character and your life. And you specified that rather vaguely.
You only have 15 minutes to write about it. And that's a good thing because now you have something to move toward. Now, I could tell you this technically, this is an interesting thing to know. People say they want to be happy. That's not true, by the way. If you investigate what people mean when they say they want to be happy, they say, "I just want to be happy." It's a very funny phrase. It's, "What do you mean, just?" There isn't anything harder than that. So you can't just say, "Just, I just..." That's all you want. You just want to be happy.
all the time. Let me tell you something. You get to decide if I'm gonna be rich, mediocre, plentiful, happy, sad. You have a decision to make. Your mind... Alright, here we go. This is the teaching moment. Let me give you this so you can get on with your 2019. Whatever is important to you, where your heart is, there is the mind. Where the mind is, so where the intention is, there is the energy.
where the energy is, there's the creation. So if your heart is hanging on something, but your actions are doing something else, that just means your energy and what your heart really wants, they are not merging at all. And that feeling that I was nowhere near that feeling, I was able to put myself there a million times every day. And that feeling of like, my God,
That is going to feel f*cking amazing. That's what made me suffer. That's what allowed the pain to be real and say, "This is worth it." I want to feel for this f*cking next 18 months. It took me 18 f*cking months to finally become a Navy student. To finally just get through BUDS. 18 months. It's six months. It took me 18. That's what woke me up every f*cking morning was, "I'm going to put myself through this much f*cking pain and suffering for a few seconds." That's all it is.
A few seconds of joy. You walk in the house, you pick up the remote control. Let me teach you how this works. And you press the power button. What I told you, 2019 will be the best year of your life, but you have to claim it. You have to expect to be the best year of your life. You have to live your life with the expectation that great things are coming your way. And that's how it works.
You're alive. Your heart is beating. You have food, water, shelter, clothing, a few people that love you. You have so much to be grateful for. You have to learn to stop focusing on what you don't have and start focusing on what you do have. Because life isn't about having what you want. It's about being grateful for and wanting what you already have. Which choices you make every day, that is what you are in the mirror today.
If you don't like it, or it could be better, it's on your terms how that works. No one else. You have to find the motivation to make those hard steps for change. It's got to be you. Only you. Beating yourself day in, day out. Not like beating yourself up. But whatever you currently were, you try to beat that measure and grow and push and push it. Growth comes from hitting failure and pushing past that. It's where all the beautiful things in the world are found.
The happiness that people refer to when they talk about happiness has more to do with enthusiasm. And enthusiasm is an interesting word because it means it's entheos. It means to be inspired. Inspired is in spirit. It means to be imbued with the spirit. Well, enthusiastic is to be imbued with the spirit of God. When do you experience the positive emotion that's associated with happiness? The answer is now.
Not when you've attained a goal, but when you're pursuing one. I was a scared, insecure kid my whole life. I ran away from challenges. But that voice inside me never let me give up completely. I realized I had to create a version of myself that didn't exist yet. Someone who could endure pain, suffering, and the judgment of others. I had to build a calloused mind, and I did it through relentless effort.
I stopped making excuses. Rain, pain, exhaustion. None of it mattered anymore. If life was nothing but green lights and we didn't have yellows and reds, then what the hell would it all be for? We need the yellows and the reds. That's how we evolve. Go fail more. Go fail more. Forget them. Those people on the sidelines that are saying the thumbs down or calling you something or being snarky, they're on the sidelines for a reason.
A man is as he thinketh. God created us in His image. God thought of this world. He thought of it, so He created it. So He made you just like Him, that your thoughts can create things. Now you can't go make earth and heaven like He did, but you can make a better world for yourself.
I faced every fear, every weakness and made the decision that nothing was going to stop me from becoming who I needed to be. Man, you're gonna have to f*cking suffer to go from this fat, insecure mother f*cker to one of the best guys on the planet Earth. This journey is gonna take something that is gonna be incomprehensible to most people. And
These different visualizations how I visualize them in my self-talk It became so nasty and dirty that I almost liked the fact that I went point to five. So you're set up Your your positive emotion is associated with movement forward you could say that your positive emotion is the psychological equivalent of forward movement just as your negative emotion is the psychological equivalent of freezing or retreating
And so your emotions are very tightly tied to your action. Freeze, retreat, negative. Advance towards a goal, positive. No goal, no positive emotion. Winners do consistently what losers do occasionally. Winners do consistently what losers are going to do occasionally. And I frame in my mind, man, when those hard days come, good. That's awesome. Why do I love that? I have stamina.
I'm in this for decades. Most people aren't. When it gets hard, when that friction comes, they quit. Life's competitive. I don't quit. Write the vision and make it plain so that he who reads it will run to it. And even though it tarry, tarry mean take a long time, wait for it, for surely it will come at an appointed time. That's in the Bible. That ain't in the rich people's copy. That's in everybody's Bible.
The problem is everybody don't do it. Freud said once, in retrospect, the struggle will strike you as most beautiful. Like the years of struggle will strike you as most beautiful. And it's true. You think about the worst moments of your life from earlier. Now they're integrated into who you are. And in some ways we understand that we...
couldn't and wouldn't be where we are without those things. We know not only is that true in a positive way, but it's also just true in how the mind works. Like the mind is really good at, this is what cognitive dissonance does. It works on you in a way that makes this thing for the best, even if it wasn't for the best. Like we're so worried about, will I regret it? You won't regret it because you actually don't have that many regrets at all. The mind is pretty good at
minimizing that feeling of regret. We convince ourselves that what happened was for the best. So we know this is almost certainly where we're going to end up. And so why torture yourself in the interim, right? Why not give yourself some of that grace now? And Potiphar's house and the prison are the things that prepared Joseph to become the prime minister. And see,
We want to get to the top without the crawling through the glass at the bottom. But the difficulty at the bottom is the thing that makes us strong enough to stay there when we get there to the top. Like whatever we've got to do, it's worth it. Like when I look in the faces of my children, I could not look at them and tell them you can do anything you want to do and you can be anything you want to be while they watch me do nothing and be nothing. A corollary of that as well is no goal, confusion.
So no goal not only means no positive emotion, it also means confusion and confusion means anxiety and dread. And so a life without a goal is confusing and hopeless. I have that vision in my head of where I'm going. I think long term and I've got stamina to keep going. You know, it just became this different mindset. I turn negatives into positives.
So I would take it like who would even think about doing this? So I would sit my couch saying who at 297 who can't swim that great, who's scared of the water. We have the balls, the balls to man up, quit a job and go and put everything on himself. People say, what do you do for a living? That's a really lame question. What do you do for a living? Let me ask you a more valuable question, if I may. What do you do while you're living?
If you don't do it, it's too hard. It's almost impossible. What else do you need to motivate you? Well, how about negative emotion? So what do you do with that? Well, negative emotion can stop you. You might think, well, I'd like to get a better job, but I'm afraid of putting myself out in the job market. I'm afraid of being evaluated. I'm afraid that if I tried something more difficult, I might fail. Then you have your negative emotion opposing you, right? Anxiety is stopping you. And fair enough, because there are things to be anxious about.
No one do this sh*t. You're the baddest mother f*cker around. You're the baddest mother f*cker to ever live. And it kept fueling me with the right kind of message that I needed to hear that I was never telling myself. And through time, it became reality to myself. I can't live several lifetimes. What do you do while you're living? Because most people do something for a living and do nothing while they're living. You're either living your dreams or living your fears, one or the other. And which one are you giving the most time to? Well, I think one reason people don't change their lives
It's because they don't think they can. But what if you could get your negative emotion behind you, pushing you, instead of stopping you? Sometimes in my clinical practice, I would have clients who hated their job. They're laboring under the thumb of a tyrant. And maybe that was partly because they'd turned themselves into slaves. But it didn't matter. They were laboring under the thumb of a tyrant. They needed to
make a move and they're often afraid to. Ultra gives it to me in high definition real fast. 62 hours you go out there and suffer, you come back, oh that was 62 hours I gained seven years of knowledge. The ups and downs, the pain, the suffering, you learn how to chunk this down like oh my god man I'm at mile 100, how the am I going to get to mile 118? Everything I put on my vision board I get. Everything.
Now you have to understand something. It's not going to come when you want it to come. It comes at an appointed time. That's the trick. But the appointed time is what throw people off. Anxiety is literally nothing more than you thinking about something in the future and thinking about it in a manner where it starts to sound an alarm in your body. First of all, if you catch yourself worrying...
If you catch yourself out in the future catastrophizing, if you catch yourself in that, what if this, what if that, if you let your thoughts spin, it will spin you out of control and then you're going to start to feel anxious. And so you want to count backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And one of the best, most effective things you can insert as a different pattern is this. What if it all works out? What if it all works out? People have talent. People have a lot of talent. And this is going beyond your talent.
So when talent, when there's no more talent, what happens to you? Most people quit. People only go to their talent level. And once their talent level is gone, it becomes a mental game that the whole mental game sets in then. And most people can only perform to their talent. And they realize, man, why am I always messing up right here? Why is this like my big hurdle? It's because you're performing to your talent.
Because most, see, when you ask God for something, he sends it, he ships it immediately. Soon as you ask him something, you really believe he'll do it? He boxes it up and he ships it to you immediately. The problem with the package is he never gives you the date that the package is going to arrive. He doesn't do that. He doesn't do that.
Because if he told you the date that the package would arrive, it would destroy the requirement he has of all of us, which is faith. All of us have had people in our lives at some point in our lives in the past tell us that we are not enough. Something enough. Not tall enough. Not short enough. Not pretty enough. Don't sing good enough. Don't dance good enough. Not smart enough. Not strong enough. Not coordinated enough. You are not enough. We've all heard it because that has never been the message that God has given you.
In fact, you are enough for the assignment for which he created you. And that's all that matters. I'm so miserable. My life is so miserable. And we take that apart. And one of the reasons was because they were laboring under the thumb of a tyrant. And then we talked that through and they'd say, well, I'm afraid to make a change. And I'd say, that's okay. That's understandable. How afraid are you not of not making a change? And then after that, your mind has nothing for you, nothing for you.
I see fighters, I see runners, I see people who they're great, but they get to the edge of their talent. It's like, man, what's up? Because you're now at the point now where your talent ain't gonna do shit for you, my friend. Now it's the mental game. And that's where people get lost in life, get lost in that next level. And that next level is found for me in the things that I do.
and familiar feels safe. We are programmed every day to seek safety. Programmed to avoid discomfort because it's safe. Programmed to stay small because it's safe. Programmed to play victim because it's safe. Programmed to seek validation because it's safe. Programmed to repel money because it's safe. We are programmed from the moment that we were born to our childhood environment, to the people that we hang out with, to the music that we listen to, to the news that we watch, to the television shows that we binge. We are programmed to seek safety.
but it is your responsibility to take ownership over your programming or else you're going to live life asleep let's make a little vision of that you're 35 you hate your job what's the consequence you're not motivated you don't want to get out of bed in the morning you're starting to get depressed you're getting bitter you're getting resentful you're getting cynical you're a motivated at work you're not doing a very good job and you're starting to shrink now play that out for 10 years
You don't change it. You don't fix it. You're going to be in the same situation, but 10 years older. On the other end of suffering, that's the real growth of life because you realize how the mind processes. And I talk about another thing called theory and practice. A lot of people are theorists. These smart guys that read these books and shit, man, and they sit down, they tell you what the mind is supposed to do. And a lot of us listen to that shit. So many people think all day long on what they're scared of.
All that tension, all that energy is going into the possibility of failure. When I win something, when I go after something, when I put the work in and achieve it, why don't we think that way? We're always thinking about losing something, something being taken from us, trying to maintain what we have. Why do we think that way? Why are we always thinking about the fears, the worst case scenario? All we do is put all that energy in there. Why don't we put the energy into the dreams that can be? We either give birth to our fear or we blaze the path of our dreams.
Faith is the belief in things that you cannot see. So if you ask God for a million dollars and he tell you I'm gonna give it to you in March of 2020, you wouldn't need no faith. You'd be talking to people crazy because you know in 2020, I'm finna be a millionaire. But he sent a million as soon as you asked for it. But it's going to come at an appointed time. The problem is people stop waiting on the package. And if you can't get out of that situation now...
What the hell makes you think you're going to get out of it in 10 years? You're 10 years older, you're 10 years more bitter, you're 10 years more cynical. Maybe by that time your marriage is collapsed because who the hell wants to live with you?
The energy that you give is the energy that you get. And that's with everything. You know, that's with your mentality. That's with the things that you say. That's with the people that you hang out with. So it's so important that you surround yourself with people that's going to fill you with life and things that's going to fill you with life. And don't do things that's going to take life out of you. Make sure, make sure, make sure that your vibration is high, your energy is high.
That's your energy and efforts and your mentality is in a great spot. I mean, in most days are going to be good than bad. This is it, man. This old man who has been studying the mind forever, this is the cap that we have. By being a practitioner, I went out and realized a lot of these guys are so wrong, man. The mind has capabilities that are so unknown. I found that through suffering. There's a whole nother world on the other end of that.
If I could give you a gift, and I can't, but if I could, I would give you the gift to believe in your ability to change your life. Because I know you can. You have control of this. This belongs to you. This is yours. You're the captain. You're the master. You're the foreman. You're the general. You're the head. Don't give control of this to nobody. I call that my 40% rule, where like a car has a governor on it. It can go 130,000.
You know, the governor's only going to go 91. Especially the devil. Do not let Satan come in here and function and operate because he has one mission to keep you off course, to make you not think it's possible.
to make you think that God don't hear you. His job is only to destroy. Hey, Austin, Apple is open for small business. That's right. We're here to make starting and running your business simpler with privacy and security built in on all devices. It's easy for you to protect your customer's data. And if you need hardware or software support, you'll get advice from business experts at no cost whatsoever. So you can focus more on the soup du jour and less on, you know, the other stuff.
At Apple, we're open for your small business. Go to apple.com slash small business or visit an Apple store to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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