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cover of episode Self-Portrait of My Own Misery

Self-Portrait of My Own Misery

2022/2/9
logo of podcast Terrible, Thanks For Asking

Terrible, Thanks For Asking

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N
Nora McNerney
V
Vanessa Zoltan
一位听众
日本文化与社会主题的播客主播和编辑
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Vanessa Zoltan: 我从小就经历了严重的焦虑和抑郁,这与我祖父母在大屠杀中的经历以及父母所承受的创伤有密切关系。我的家庭既信奉犹太教,又持无神论观点,宗教在我的成长过程中扮演着复杂的角色。希伯来学校对大屠杀的过度关注让我感到压抑和麻木。我的父母也受到了大屠杀创伤的影响,他们以不同的方式表现出悲伤、愤怒和绝望。我父亲的脑瘤可能也与创伤和压力有关。多年来,创伤在我的家庭中代代相传,最终导致我患上了严重的抑郁症。在高中时,我第一次意识到自己患有抑郁症,并通过药物治疗和心理咨询得到了缓解。然而,仅仅依靠药物和心理咨询是不够的,我需要找到新的意义和方向。我选择进入神学院学习,重新审视宗教的本质,并寻找新的精神慰藉的方式。我发现,任何文本都可以成为神圣的文本,只要它能帮助人们更好地生活,例如《简爱》。 Nora McNerney: Vanessa 的故事展现了创伤如何代际遗传,并以多种方式影响到后代。她的童年经历充满了恐惧和焦虑,这与她家庭的创伤历史有直接联系。她的祖父母都是大屠杀幸存者,他们经历了巨大的苦难,并将创伤传递给了他们的子女。Vanessa 的父母也受到了大屠杀创伤的影响,他们以不同的方式表现出悲伤、愤怒和绝望。Vanessa 的抑郁症是多年来创伤积累的结果,她通过药物治疗、心理咨询以及寻找新的精神寄托的方式来应对。她的经历也引发了我们对创伤、宗教、以及寻找精神慰藉方式的思考。许多人将世俗文本视为神圣文本,从中获得力量和慰藉。

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Vanessa recounts her early experiences of depression and anxiety, highlighting how her feelings of misery and futility were evident even in her childhood drawings and interactions with others.

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We are all just products of the people who raise us. And they are products of those who raised them. Vanessa Zoltan knows that better than most. She is the grandchild of four Holocaust survivors, and for her, nihilism and depression kind of run in the family.

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