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You're Not Lazy, You're Overwhelmed (feat. Kendra Adachi, The Lazy Genius)

2024/12/26

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Kendra Adachi

Nora McInerney

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Nora McInerney: 当代社会推崇高效率和高产，这给人们带来巨大的压力，让人们习惯将自身价值与成就紧密联系。她本人也曾深受其害，将自己视为机器，认为自己应该完美地完成所有事情，无法完美地完成所有事情时，她会感到非常不快乐。她一直在寻找能够解决这些问题的方法，尝试过各种时间管理方法和工具，但都收效甚微。她认为，与Kendra Adachi的对话将帮助那些对自己设定过高标准，难以区分自身存在与行为的人们。 Kendra Adachi的《The Plan》一书与其他时间管理书籍不同，它更富有同情心和体谅，能够帮助人们摆脱对完美的执着追求，并接受生活中的不确定性。她认为，持续的成长是不可能的，人们不应该总是追求进步。计划不是“通过”或“失败”，而只是意图。改变心态，将计划视为意图而非成功或失败的衡量标准，可以让人们感到更自由。学习适应比学习计划更重要，因为生活总是在变化。 Kendra Adachi: 她通过研究发现，大多数时间管理书籍都是男性撰写的，这导致这些书籍没有充分考虑到女性所面临的独特挑战，例如，男性作者通常没有老板，也不承担家庭的“精神负担”，他们通常不承担照顾孩子、处理家务等责任。因此，现有的时间管理建议并不完整，因为它们没有考虑到女性所面临的独特挑战，例如生理期。她认为，时间管理行业总是让人们相信，下一个计划者、书籍或技巧就能解决所有问题，让人们不断购买。许多时间管理方法之所以无效，是因为它们没有考虑到女性所面临的独特挑战。她指出，有些时间管理方法是错误的，不能适应所有人的生活方式。时间管理行业教导人们，如果每一天都没有为理想的未来自我做贡献，那么这一天就没有意义。人们不应该将每天都视为“成功”或“失败”，而应该接受生活中的不确定性。她分享了自己成为“懒惰的天才”的经历，以及她如何克服完美主义和对成功的过度追求。她认为，计划不是“通过”或“失败”，而只是意图。改变心态，将计划视为意图而非成功或失败的衡量标准，可以让人们感到更自由。学习适应比学习计划更重要，因为生活总是在变化。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why does Kendra Adachi believe that traditional time management books are incomplete?

Kendra Adachi argues that 93% of time management books are written by men who often don't contend with the same challenges as women, such as managing a household, caring for children, or dealing with periods. These books lack the perspective of those who carry the mental load of invisible scaffolding in their homes and families, making the advice incomplete and often impractical for many women.

What is the main message of Kendra Adachi's book, 'The Plan'?

Kendra Adachi's book, 'The Plan,' emphasizes that time management should be compassionate and considerate, focusing on setting intentions rather than rigid goals. It encourages readers to pivot when plans change and to avoid tying their self-worth to their productivity. The book challenges the traditional, often perfectionist-driven approach to time management.

What does Kendra Adachi mean by 'big black trash bag energy'?

Kendra Adachi uses 'big black trash bag energy' to describe the tendency to swing from seeking a perfect solution to feeling overwhelmed and wanting to start over completely. This metaphor applies to both physical clutter and emotional or scheduling overwhelm, where people feel the need to scrap everything and begin anew.

Why does Kendra Adachi believe that learning to pivot is more important than learning to plan?

Kendra Adachi argues that life is unpredictable, and plans often fail due to unforeseen circumstances. Instead of focusing on creating perfect plans, she suggests developing the skill to pivot and adapt when things don't go as expected. This approach reduces the pressure to achieve perfection and fosters resilience.

What personal experiences shaped Kendra Adachi's approach to time management?

Kendra Adachi's approach to time management was shaped by her childhood, where she felt the need to be dependable and competent to maintain safety and approval. As an adult, she struggled with perfectionism, especially as a mother, until she realized that trying to be perfect at everything was unsustainable and unfulfilling.

Chapters

The author discovered that most time management books are written by men, who don't face the same challenges as women, such as managing household tasks and caring for children. This leads to incomplete and sometimes unhelpful advice for women.

93% of time management books are written by men
Most buyers of time management books are women
Men generally don't face the same challenges as women when it comes to time management, such as managing household tasks and caring for children

Shownotes Transcript

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Most people I know are feeling overwhelmed, to put it lightly. Between the stuff you have to do (work, paying your bills, getting your kid new shoes, or vacuuming up the dog hair before you host book club) and the things you wantto do and know will make you feel better (going to the gym, drinking water, REST, spending time with friends, starting one of the million hobbies you bought supplies for and shoved into a closet), it’s all too much and somehow we still don’t feel like we’re doing enough.

We’re supposed to do it all (and make it look easy), but it feels like an equation that always adds up to “well, if you can’t figure out how to do it all you must be a loser!”

Today’s guest is Kendra Adachi, AKA The Lazy Genius). Kendra is the author of The Plan: Managing Your Time Like A Lazy Genius)*, *a book that is nearly the exact opposite of any time management book I’ve ever read, and a message I desperately needed to hear.

Please send us your questions and comments about this episode or any other! You can email us at [email protected]) or leave us a voicemail at 612-568-4441.

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