Ain't No Love Around the Holidays?
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And just like that, we're back on air with another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. We're going to jump straight in. This is a very, very long story. Now, I know I mentioned voice memos you guys can send to Carefully Reckless podcast page. Not Jess Hilarious official, not co-parenting therapy, not reckless discussions, and not Ebeni.Zena page. Speaking of, Ebeni.Zena does have their own page where you can watch the series start from episode one. I know when I do these videos, Ebeni and Zena,

I've been doing the newer ones because it's a continuing story. Newer followers want to know where it started and how it all started. So make sure you follow ebony.zena, E-B-O-N-Y-E, period, Z-E-N-A. It's a series about two women who share the same child's father and how they met and how they grew.

became good friends but they still kind of sort of got this underlining issue with each other okay and they they talk shit in their heads about each other but they never talk shit in person to one another about each other so yeah that's a good series to make sure you get into over the weekend over you know over a cup of coffee however you feeling about you want some ratchety follow ebony.xena let's get straight into fixing this mess this is a juicy story y'all

Okay, you are certainly right, honey. Because what we expect is not always what we get, so a list of standards is right. Ooh, okay.

The only thing that bothered me about this is that he never invited me over. He would always come to my house. Mind you, I would have never looked at it no type of way because I prefer to be in my own space anyway. But I always thought to myself why he never invited me over. So on one of our more recent date nights, I sat down with him and I asked him why he has yet to ask me to come over. And he told me there's always a problem with the water. So between that and work, he's barely even there himself.

I'm like, well, it's still the thought of you even asking me regardless of your house issues. You still have yet to ask me to come over. And he said, okay, as soon as I get these problems fixed, which should be by the end of the month, you're going to stay the weekend with me. Okay, cool. The weekend comes. And when I tell you the crib was nice, the crib was nice. It was giving five-star luxury loft.

Ooh, I know the fuck that's right, girl. For the first night, we stayed in. He cooked for me, we ate dinner, and we were just vibing. Now, girl, here is where things get crazy. As soon as we about to go to sleep, right, there was banging on the door. At first, I ignored it because he didn't budge. But then I started to self-question. Why isn't he budging?

So I asked him, "Are you gonna get that?" He told me that there are people that's trying to serve him papers for something that he didn't do and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, "Okay, cool, I trust you." But they were knocking for a while and it would get louder and louder. So I finally got up to answer the door. And when I say he looked real nervous, he looked real nervous. I answer and there's a woman at the door holding a baby in one hand and bags in the other hand crying, "Damn, the fuck?" I mean, not to laugh at this poor woman, but when she saw me,

Oh baby, them tears dried up and the veins was popping through that forehead. I already knew what this was. I wasn't even going to try to be delusional about it. So I asked, you must be his baby mother, right?

She said, yep. And I live here. Excuse me. Oh, I could have hit her right there. I'm glad you didn't. That woman would have had your ass locked up hitting her in her own house. But God had me. I'm glad he did. And she had that baby. So it wasn't the right time. LOL. No, it wasn't. And you you you did good following judgment there. She walks in and goes to him and ask him, why do you have this bitch in my house? Now I'm waiting to see what he's going to say. Jess, you're not going to believe it.

He tells her that we just been fucking around, nothing serious, as if this is something that they do. So I started spazzing on his ass and he yells at me, just get the fuck out. I was confused on if I should be mad, should I be sad, or even if I should kill him. Bitch, you're trying to go to jail real bad, ain't you? So I punched him in his throat and walked out. Good call.

The next day, he's blowing my phone up, apologizing with the dumbest excuses ever, and even came to my job. I told my assistant no visitors, which made him wait for me at my house. Okay, assistant. I know that's right, black woman.

This man gets out of his car boohooing talking about how sorry he is and that his baby mom is threatening to take the baby away and how he's going to be on child support so he had to play it like that and blah blah blah so she don't turn against him. What? I'm like, first of all, I didn't even know you had a fucking baby, okay? Until I seen her and her mom standing on your doorstep looking to come back home. Oh my god.

Girl, just a whole bunch of bullshit. I told him if he don't get the fuck off my porch, I'm calling the police. Jess, I have never in my life dealt with something like this before. I feel like I'm in a Lifetime movie. LOL, this sound like a Lifetime movie, honey. I'm only 26. What should I do? How should I go about this? How do I heal? I really started falling for him and I never seen this coming.

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You should leave, honey. The proof is right there in your pudding. It don't get no more crystal clear. It don't get no more crystal clearer than that. First of all, your woman in a wishing, that's something that we got that tells us something before we tell ourselves something. You understand? It's before we even can verbally say it, we're already thinking it.

Damn.

Fuck the water, nigga. You never eat like you said. No, you just never even extended the invitation like, yo, like we just keep going to my house, going out and going to my house, going out and going to my house. And I've had stories similar to this one before where a man wouldn't invite the woman over. And then the woman later found out that there was a wife that he was hiding or there was a girlfriend he was hiding or the nigga ain't even have a house. He lived with his mom.

In this case, I wish that was the case because now I hate that you fell for this guy and that you do really like him. I don't know if you love him or not because this is five months, but love doesn't have a time on it. You know what I mean? You can love a nigga in five days. You can love a nigga in five years, you know, but I can tell that you express a deep concern about this because you really, really love, I mean, because you really, really like him. You're attracted to him and obviously there is something there and you say he mocked every check on your list, honey.

until the baby mama and the baby popped up that night. All right, so when is the last time you talked to him? I mean, because obviously if you're telling me you don't know what you should do or how to feel or you're angry and then sad, you miss him. And I can almost assure every listener listening to this that you've been in contact again. Now, I'm not gonna say you're stupid for that. I'm not gonna say you're dumb, but I am gonna say if anything else comes out with this woman,

And if he doesn't leave her, you know, anything, you know, it's kind of like, but you knew, you know what I mean? You knew. Now you can't just turn off your feelings for somebody, but he hit a whole fucking baby from you, babe.

I'm not saying he doesn't care about you, but he's not upfront and truthful and he's not to be trusted until he is proven to be trusted. He hid a baby from you. I understand the reason he gave a reason about hiding the baby mother because she's going to put me on child support and she's going to turn against me. I'm never going to see my child again. But you never even let me know that you had a fucking child. How old is the baby? How old is the baby? She says she lived there.

You know what I mean? Even if they're not happy, they're still technically together. Even if he's fighting to get out of the relationship, you don't need to be up in that until he is fully past her and able to leave her alone and able to control the situation. Because it don't seem like he had control at all. Somebody trying to serve him with some fucking papers because of something that he didn't do. No, what you didn't do is tell the fucking truth, Scotty. I don't know if that's his name or not, but we're going to go with Scotty.

You know, you didn't tell me the fucking truth. And now my feelings are hurt. And you were in that woman's house. So she had every right to call you a bitch to feel you feel a certain way or whatever, because this is her home. You know what I'm saying? Now you are probably not the first or the last woman that she's caught in their home. You understand what I'm saying? They probably take a little break. So she probably go stay at her mother's, go stay at a friend's or go get everyone apartment or whatever. And then comes back because it's still her home. She just probably takes these breaks. Cause like you said, she's,

They was doing this like this, something that they do. Obviously, if you think it's if they acted like this was something that they do, this is something that they do. She has caught this nigga and she can't get over him and he can't leave her. That's just what it is. And that's actually common these days. It's not normal, but it's very common. It's not right, but it's very common. It's not cute either, but it's very common. And it doesn't make it OK because it happens so, so frequent. But I think you can do better than this.

You didn't tell me what you do for work, but you did say you told your assistant no visitors. So that lets me know right there that you're a boss of some sort, like some kind. I don't know if you own your own company or whatever, but you are a fucking boss. You're only 26. You got four more years until you hit that third decade of your life. You know, live out your 20s.

Live out your 20s. Date, but focus on your career because you're at that half mark. You know what I mean? Like where you got four more years to figure this shit out and you can't be fucking up. You can't be fucking up. You already a boss. You have an assistant. So you already have, you know what responsibility is. You know what self-discipline is. Discipline yourself and leave that nigga alone.

Leave him alone. Fuck that. If he checked off every mark on your list, make another list because that wasn't it. You know what I'm saying? I want to know what the fuck was on your list and how the fuck you didn't see this coming. Jesus. But niggas are slick. I will give you that. Men are slick and so are we. But in this case, men are very slick and they can hide things and you would never know. But to tell you something going on with the water, you know...

I, I just don't know. I think, I think that you should really have a conversation with him and tell him that you're going to move on because this is not something that you want to, you don't want to dim your light like this by just allowing him to be shared between you and another woman. Like you, you don't want to share him. And then the woman that you're sharing him with, she ain't going to have a go anywhere because she has this child.

And then if he already scared to death to make up all these stories about how the water don't work in this place because, you know, he don't want you to run into her and all that. He's scared of her ass too. You know what I'm saying? They still hunching for sure. She can't get past him and he won't leave her. So you tell me what you need to do with that. Update me, baby girl. You're better than that. And moving on. Okay, here we go.

Woo, child, where do I start? I hope you can fix my mess, Jess. So I met this guy at the beginning of 2020, right? Before COVID hit. It was literally supposed to be just a hookup and that was it because he was from out of town originally and here in the Dirty D just visiting. Hey, yo, shout out to the Dirty D. That is a series on Tubi.

And it's now on Peacock. Congratulations to Lisa Brown and just some of the actors that I do know by name. Diesel is in it. Crystal the doll. My guy who looked like James Earl Jones. He looked like he could be James Earl Jones' son. Like, yo, Detroit is really like the new fucking black Hollywood and I love it. I fucking love it, y'all. If you haven't seen Dirty D, hop on to Peacock.

and watched the whole first season and the uh the second season as well it's a really really good story man they executed the acting well and as you get in and you know what my bad I'm going a little bit too much into it my bad let me get back to her story and that's my show right there so so you're in Detroit basically all right that's what they call a dirty d y'all

So fast forward a couple months. He came back up here to visit again and we linked up again. For what? I don't know. I wasn't looking for anything serious for the simple fact that he wasn't from here. So we link again and, you know, we do the nasty. Oh, yeah. Y'all did the nasty in a dirty day. I know that's right. He came to me before he left and was like, I want to be with you. I'm like, say what? Come again. He like, I want to be with you.

I'm like, how? You don't even be here like that. He gonna say, so I'll make it work. I know that's right, girl. This man is telling you he's gonna make it work. He's professing his love. Fast forward another couple months, we locked in, rocking hard, out the gate. Stupid, right?

No, not stupid. But me being me, I love hard. And plus, he was fine as hell with some good ass D. They be the ones. But ever since then, we've been breaking up, getting back together multiple times. We've been through it all.

Okay, so that's it. Like, she just left it like that. She ain't want to say nothing else. I hate when y'all do this. I hate when y'all leave me on a cliff just hanging and dangling because y'all don't know what... What the fuck? What happened? Did the nigga walk in the room while you was typing and sent this shit to me? Like, come on. Like, I need to know what else is going on. All right, so I guess if we can go from where you left off, then, you know, basically...

Everything was good up until just a couple months ago. I want to know, did he move to Detroit? Because you said y'all locked in and everything. Did he move, end up moving there? Did you move to where he is? Does he just come up certain times? Is he there more? What happened? Because you said, ever since Detroit,

Ever since then, we've been breaking up and getting back together multiple times. Now, did you catch him cheating with somebody else in the Dirty D? Like, what was it? I need to know. I need to know because you just left me hanging here.

I don't have no advice to give you. I will say, I will speak on long distance relationships though. I have done that. And it takes a certain type of person to be able to endure having a relationship with someone or being in a relationship with someone that lives miles and miles away. Like not somewhere you can drive to like a plane ride. You know what I'm saying? Like you got to take a train to get to this motherfucker. Like you got to be driving for more than five hours to get to this nigga. You know what I'm saying? Um,

um it takes a certain human being to be able to do that it takes a certain amount of patience to be able to deal with that um I don't think I could because I'm a very clingy person I'm clingy you know us Aquarius is we love and we love hard you know we love physically emotionally mentally we love you with everything that we have I can only speak on my sign because I've been my sign for 31 years and ain't going away it ain't gonna change so I know how I love you know what I'm saying but to that point

I don't think the best thing is to be in a relationship where you're not close to your lover, you know, because then trust issues can arouse, you know what I'm saying, like, what you doing when you there, I mean, when you, when you in Detroit, you my nigga, but when you go back to Chicago, I don't, I'm just throwing something out there, when he's in Chicago, when you in Chicago, you could be doing what, whatever with who knows who, you know what I'm saying, like,

And then what are you doing? Because at the beginning of the story, you said that you didn't even want a relationship. You were just looking to fuck somebody. You know what I'm saying? Like, is that the shit you're still on? I mean, I know you fell for him and all of that shit. But were you did you still have other people like on your roster when you started dealing with him? Because you said he came to you and proposed a relationship first. You didn't come to him.

And say that that ain't even what you wanted to begin with. So let me know your side of the story, too. Did you still have niggas you was talking to that you couldn't just cut off? Because now he's in your city. He's coming to your city. You understand what I'm saying? Ain't no telling what you were doing either. You know, ain't no telling what he was doing. But and the reason I'm not trying to blame you.

you for y'all breaking up multiple times and nothing you know and I'm like that I'm just going off of what you told me you didn't even want a relationship has the table turned where you wanted this relationship and then he jumped in it too fast and he felt like he didn't want it anymore I need some more meat on the bone how the fuck you gonna send me a passage and then be like to be continued bitch this ain't how that work ain't no commercials the fuck

Come on, girl. I need to know. So you need to get back with me and let me know what happened. And then your name is Beauty and Brains. You know what I'm saying? Oh, damn. I done gave you Instagram name. It's all good. It's a million of y'all on there. They don't know the underscores and the periods and shit. But you got Beauty and Brains, the bitch. You need to use both. All right? I'm serious about this. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm going to beat your ass. Listen.

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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

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Moving on, last story. Hey Jess, I've been dealing with this girl for a month. We've been kicking it and been very cool with each other.

However, she travels a lot and so do I. She currently stays in Vegas. So the time zone is very different. I get up very early. When I'm getting up for work, she's going out. Now the career that she's in, she's surrounded by a lot of celebrities. She's always around big influencers and things like that, as well as I am. But she's a little different with it. I feel as if she comes off as a groupie at times. And I don't like that because if you're supposed to be into me,

then all that energy is supposed to go into me. Now, I understand about being starstruck as I've been starstruck a few times, but I don't give groupie. We got into an argument about it just last night. She was saying that one of her favorite influencers was going to be at a venue that she had to work. I don't know whether she was joking or not, but she quoted, that's my type. I can't wait to see her tonight. Groupie or nah.

That shit made me mad. And I must say, I don't know where to go from here. Do I stop talking to her? Do I communicate with her? Now, Jess, I'm around celebrities all the time, but I never act pressed like that, especially because I am devoting myself to this one person and I'm actually working on being in a relationship with someone.

someone that lives so far away that's also kind of doing the same thing that I'm doing. I just want to know, are we compatible? Have you ever been in this situation before? And if so, how would you handle it? Because she's very attractive to me, but this makes her unattractive and it pushes me away. And I'm scared to even go out in public with her because what if we run into a celebrity while we're out? Will you act like a groupie in front of me? Will you leave me to go hang out with them? I just need to know what you would do in this case.

Well, I want to know how old both of you are. If you can write me back and keep me updated. I want to know how old both of you are because this sounds like, you know, childish activity and coming from somebody of youth, you know, and it's expected for somebody to be around celebrities and act pressed and, you know, and to even be a groupie or whatever, you know, just happy to be around celebrities. However, if you are...

engaging a little too much then yeah at that point it's like all right because you do have somebody at home you are dating so I don't give a fuck if it's a celebrity or not I don't give a fuck if Tiana Taylor walked through the motherfucking door bitch you are supposed to be my girl

We are working on this. We've been dealing with each other. Now, you said it's only been a month. I'm going to assume that it's been a month that y'all have been together. Or you can give me more of an update whether that y'all were together for a month or y'all have only been knowing each other for a month. Because knowing each other for a month, that actually changes my answer. Because you have to get to know her more. You know what I'm saying? And whoever they show you they are, they are that person. This sounds like...

a person who obviously they didn't grow up being in the industry you know she probably this job is probably new for her because if you still

Being a groupie and this is something that you've been doing for a long time Then yeah, you're probably more so an opportunist more than likely, you know what I'm saying? I mean I just and you know looking for the next big thing or you are you one of those people that like to? Jump on whoever's hot and shit like that. I think you need to give me more clarity on that III was in a relationship

with somebody who was in the same line of work as me. But they wasn't a groupie. They wasn't really pressed to be around celebrities, but he was an older gentleman. You know what I mean? I think this girl may be young and she may be out of your fucking league, to be honest. You sound a lot more mature than she is. And I think if she is young and if this is the case, she just got to grow up. That's all. And you being as mature as you are, you got to date on your level. You know what I mean? A lot of people...

are not gonna be on your level. I don't give a fuck how much money they got, how many celebrities they rub elbows with, whatever, you know? There has to be...

some type of standard that your partner can hold their self to even around celebrities, you know, and if you're able to do it, she's able to do it as well, but maybe she's not ready. So again, I want to know if you guys have been together for a month or if you guys have been talking for a month, because then you got a lot more getting to know her to do, you know, and I think you should have a conversation with her. Let her know. You said y'all got into an argument about it, but I think you should actually go into depth a lot more, you know, look,

And especially if you know what you want. Look, this is what I want. We're in the same line of work. There should be no reason that you should be this way around celebrities, especially if you're telling me that you want me and we're in this together. Now, the time zone shit, that shit is different.

It is very different. I mean, she'd be outside all hours of the night, which some jobs in this industry require, you know, late nights and all that type of shit. But all of that extra, you know, going to my A and all that extra shit. Nah, that's like dating a rapper. Oh, I was in the studio. Nah, he was in the studio fucking bitches.

You know, and then that little remark, like you say, you don't know if she was joking or not. But when she referred to one of, you know, her favorite celebrities or influencers being at the club or venue that she was going to be at that night saying, oh, that's my type. I can't wait to see her. I will be the first to say that's some clowned out ass shit. I don't like that. But that's probably who she is. And just take note of her showing you.

Indirectly who she is. She's subconsciously sure. She don't want you to think. Nobody's ever going to say, yeah, I'm a groupie. Yeah, I like to be around celebrities. Yeah, I like it. Nobody's ever going to cop to that because people look down on it. You know, it's the clout of it all. But I think you're a little bit better than this situation.

If I may just be 100 percent honest with you and I think she pay attention to your work right now and then that right person will come along for you for sure. Now, you can you and this girl could be friends, you know, and you can even teach her, you know, she gets same. She seemed like she can learn some things from you, you know, especially if y'all are in the same industry. But keep me updated.

Yeah. And just like that, we've come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious. And listen, if you want to send voice notes, make sure you send them to carefully reckless podcast page, the carefully reckless podcast page. Listen, drop the hand clap emojis. We are now in the top five carefully reckless on black effect under I heart radio. My podcast is in the top five.

five guys and it's all because of you guys so I want to say thank you and extend some love to all my listeners all over the world I love you I love you and I couldn't do this without you because I need y'all ears and just like that peace see you next week

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

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