Baby, Slowww Down!
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

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Black Tech Green Money isn't just about telling the stories of successful black entrepreneurs. It's also about giving actionable and wealth-building strategies that help you protect the future of our communities. That's why we're pleased to be supported by State Farm Insurance. State Farm also believes that we must invest in our communities to achieve economic growth by sponsoring programs like the ACSO, which rewards high school students for their academic achievements. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Okay, round two. Name something that's not boring. A laundry? Ooh, a book club. Computer solitaire, huh? Oh, sorry. We were looking for Chumba Casino.

Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

Oh shit, we back on the air. Happy New Year, everybody. We're back with yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Just Hilarious. What do I do? I be fixing mess. Same as I did last year. I'm going to do the same shit this year. We're just going to keep on getting bigger and better. Keep on growing the podcast audience. As I came in number five, the great brother Charlemagne, the God let me know that.

Our podcast came in number five, y'all. We in top motherfucking five. That's nice. That's amazing. And we're going to jump straight into it. We got a voice note for the top of the year. Y'all know I love those. But we also got some paragraphs, y'all. People know these people voices and they ain't trying to get caught. All right? Let's jump straight into it. Hey, Jess. Um...

I just want to say, like, I'm a huge fan of yours. You know, I've been watching for years. And, you know, I love you. I love your work. I love all that you're doing. I just wanted to get that out the way. But I really need advice. Like, oh, my God. So, basically, I've been dating this guy for the last...

How long has it been? Four months. And we kind of moved pretty quickly because I noticed that, you know, like he's a really good person. I just came out of a, not just, but earlier this year, you know, I came out of a toxic relationship with my daughter's dad.

And when I met him, it was like a breath of fresh air. So things kind of moved quickly to the point where I invited him to move in with me. Okay, girl. That's when a problem started because I noticed that he has a lot of issues. He has issues with...

Like he can't stay up. And he didn't tell me that at first. So I had to find that out on my own. Like this is not something that he disclosed to me. He claims that he didn't know about it and that he thought it was just every once in a while. I also realized that he's a little bit slow. Like not saying that he's dumb, but like he doesn't stimulate me mentally at all.

I will say the good about him is that he's a really good person, like genuinely a good person at heart. I just feel like I'm not 400% happy. But at the same time, like I'm trying to reason with myself, like, you know, nobody's perfect. You know, like if you find somebody who...

is willing to fight for you and willing to work things out with you, then stick with him. But he is like, he's willing to work things out. And, you know, we talk about things and, you know, but, and I'm just not satisfied in the bedroom. And on top of not being satisfied in the bedroom, I'm

He's also like, he also calls himself an entrepreneur, but he's not bringing in enough money to the point where for the last three months that he's been, well, the last month that he's been living with me, he didn't have his half of the rent and that was a problem. So I have kids. He's good with my kids. You know, like he's a good, good, genuinely good person, but I'm just trying to, I don't know, like, I guess I'm,

My question is, I'm sorry, I know this is kind of long, but I was trying to give you all the details. But my question is, like, is it worth staying in this relationship? Like, the ED problem, he told me that he, you know, goes to the doctor and tried to see what's going on with it. And, you know, he did say that he would get a real job, like a regular job, whatever, not just doing Uber. So, you know, these are things I guess that can be worked on, but I just don't have the patience. And I don't want to settle.

So I just, I guess I need your input on what would you do? Or do you think that these are things that, you know, that I should be more patient with? Well, I appreciate you, first of all, for even having the balls, you know, well, having the heart, sorry. Trying to get better with how I talk, trying to get more professional, you know, but

Thank you for even sharing, because this is, in a lot of cases, a very prideful thing. Like people don't like to, especially women, especially us, you know, we don't like to put all of our business out there on Front Street because this does seem like a big mistake that you made. Mistake one. I'm not saying the relationship is a mistake. Let me be very careful.

I'm saying the mistake was moving him in too quick. Now, I do understand you said you had just got out of a really toxic relationship with your ex. I believe you said your kid's dad, your ex. And

You were a bit vulnerable. I'm going to go ahead and say you were vulnerable, maybe even a bit gullible, you know, because who doesn't want love? Even, you know, especially after a bad relationship or not a bad relationship, but, you know, just a relationship that didn't work because I know it couldn't have been all bad because you were there and that was a long-term relationship that you had gotten out of. I think you didn't give yourself enough time to heal. I think you guys should have just...

continue to date because dating is how you get to know someone. And it doesn't matter how long that takes. You have to get to know someone before just moving them in.

And then it's not just you, it's you and your kids. Now, again, I am not calling your relationship a mistake. You just made the mistake, in my opinion, of moving him in. Because what made you move him in after four months? Well, after three months of dealing with him. No, after one month, right? Because you said y'all been dealing with each other. Y'all been together. Y'all been dealing with each other for four months. And he's been living with you for three months. So...

One month and you moved him in. Now I'm repeating this back to you because most of the time when I repeat somebody's mess back to them, they easily can see it. They easily can see the mistake that they made before I even give the advice.

Sometimes you just got to hear your shit back. You know what I mean? And that's what makes all the difference. You know, when you hear it out loud, when you hear it coming from somebody else and it's kind of easier to judge it or even give advice if it was someone else going through it, but it's you. So me repeating it back to you should make you be like, oh shit. Yeah, this is crazy, but we've all done it. Well, I ain't done that part, but I've definitely moved too quickly and

you know, fast and rapid with a guy that I barely even knew. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are worth talking about, like their deal on the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6.

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I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

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Okay, so let's get into the ED. When he moves in, you notice that sex is a problem because he can't keep it up. Now, you said that is something that you had to find out. No man, well, I'm not going to say no man, but a lot of men ain't going to let you know that they can't get it up. You understand what I'm saying? Because a lot of men don't even have the answer to why they can't get it up.

You know, it could be a medical issue. It could be something going on there. It could be a disconnect. It could be something mentally. And he has to get those answers himself. He has to go to a doctor. He has to go to a therapist, something he has to do to take care of himself. Like he said, he didn't even know. He probably didn't know he had the problem, but he probably thought that it was because of the person. You know, a lot of men don't really know. And instead of going to find out,

If it's something medical or not, they just assume, um, maybe it's the last bitch. Maybe it's this woman that's just not getting me up. Maybe, you know, so I don't, I can't say that I blame him for not telling you because he probably didn't even know why, you know, he didn't know that it would happen with you, you know?

Now, that's still no excuse for him not going to get checked out. Yes, that can be worked on. All right. That's a big thing. Not being sexually satisfied in the bedroom does play a big part in a relationship. OK, moving on. You said he calls himself an entrepreneur. What does he do? Not even being nosy. This is things that.

I want to know so I can help you better. Is it something that does he have a business that, that you do believe in that you do believe with some investing or some hard work or some more patients or some more building the right resources can flourish and take care of him and you, you know, and, and, or his half, you know what I'm saying? Is this something that, that can be a very lucrative business? Is it something that,

You know, or is he or is it something along the lines of, oh, I'm just going to be a rapper, you know, and hoping my music kick off, which can also happen these days. You hear this shit that's coming out now. Shit, you ain't even got to know how to rap to become a rapper.

So, you know, so not judging if he is, if it is something that way, I'm just saying, because you can't really shit on somebody's dreams unless you do honestly see it for what it is. And it ain't going to work, you know, because a lot of people need somebody real. You know, you don't need nobody that's going to shit on you, but you need somebody that's going to keep it real with you. Look, baby, no, no, no, no, no. This bakery that you're trying to open the market right now, it ain't the time for that. So what we need to do is get a fucking job.

until you can fund your business idea, until you can get your business off the ground. Because I got kids. And if you with me, that means we got kids because you live here with us now. We're in a relationship. This is secure. This is something that we have to move forward. Bills are today. Your entrepreneurship, it ain't kicking off the way that you thought it would or the way that it should be right now. How long has he been an entrepreneur? Does he give real effort into trying to

Be an entrepreneur, whatever it is, you know what I'm saying? Do you see him actually working toward a goal? You know, does he have ambition? You said he is a genuinely good person. He's good with your kids. That's a plus. A lot of men who don't have kids don't typically do well in situations with children, you know, and in households with children because they don't have the experience. That's not most men. I'm not putting a percentage on the men, but that's just from experience.

experience and what I know. So he seems to have a great deal of patience because he don't even have no kids and you got kids. Okay. You did say he drives Uber. Now I know Uber can get you some money. You know, I got a bunch of little cousins that do it. I know a lot of people that do Uber, you know, you hit them peak times and you get up, get on that road at a certain time and you put in that work, you can make some money, but I understand it's not enough for you. Okay.

And then, you know, you seem conflicted because now I understand I've been in your place before. I've been in your shoes. I'm not going to sit here and just act like I haven't. You know, you're conflicted right now because you're not happy in the bed. You're not happy with him financially because you feel like you just moved this guy in. And while you do like him, while you do love him, you know, maybe even love him.

You feel like you made a mistake that that's just what it is. And you just try not to say it, try not to look at it that way. The good part is you're only four months in. OK, I like when you said nobody's perfect. No, nobody's perfect. And yes, if you do find somebody that genuinely loves you and genuinely is a good person because it's hard to find those people these days, then you do stick with it. However, you do not settle.

You just don't settle. Where was he living before? Is there any chance that he could go back there and you guys could start over? You know what I'm saying? Because what I don't want you to do is settle, keep him in your house,

And you're unhappy and you just just praying on patience, praying that one day at work and then you're slowly but surely getting miserable. And then you're starting to dislike him and now you're starting to hate him and then you're starting to resent him because that's not fair to him either. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to your kids because the longer he's there, he's building a bond with them. OK, but mommy's not happy. He wasn't even around long enough for them to.

to meet him and live with him, right? I'm just telling you from mom to mom, I've done this. I've been in this before, okay? I'm not judging you sis, I'm just telling you baby. So even with that being said, you really don't see a future here. You're trying to see a future here, okay? I would say

Don't give up on it 100%, but sit down and have a real conversation with him. Sit down and have a real conversation with him because it ain't all on him. It's not. You invited him to move with you. Those were your words. That was an action that no man in his place could refuse or would refuse. Shit, you know? Now, if you ask him, I bet he in love like a mother. You know what I'm saying?

He got a partner that's helping him, that's understanding his situation. Of course, you have beautiful children that he's created this beautiful bond with, you know, probably making him want some kids of his own. You know what I'm saying?

And you seem like just a phenomenal woman. You do deserve more, but you just made a mistake moving too fast, moving too quick. It's okay to still heal because I bet you still do things like compare him to your ex in some ways when you weren't even happy in that relationship. Because I've done it before. You know, we just start comparing and we'll try to find the good in the last relationship

As it compares to what you're what's happening now, what you're going through now, because I bet you said it to yourself. I mean, the nigga was toxic. The last nigga was toxic. But I mean, he could get it up and he was getting money. But you still wasn't happy. OK, hold up. Hold up. I know this shit getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

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Nobody has it all off top. Okay. I'm letting you know that from experience. I'm not saying it won't get there because it can. You can have it all. You can have whatever you want manifest. You can. It's real. You can have whatever you want. When you meet your partner, no, he ain't got to always be at the top, but y'all can build together.

and make it there together. If you already there, shit, build him up and he can be up there with you. If you meet a man that's already there and you ain't there, shit, and he believes in you and he loves you and he wants you, he going to build you up and you going to make it there. Okay. You understand me? So I think it needs to be a real genuine conversation. And I know you probably don't want to hurt his feelings because he is a good person. He is a good man at heart.

And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being honest and being open. That will probably make our relationship stronger. Tell them, be honest. Listen, I made a mistake. I was just getting out of a relationship. I love you. I really, really want this to work. And if it's going to work, I need you to understand and be open-minded enough to not take what I'm about to say as insults.

I'm not happy in the bedroom. That plays a big part in our relationship and any relationship. Okay. But I do suggest that you go see something, go see a doctor, go see, go see if there's something you can do about it. You know, because as painful as it is for me, I know it's uncomfortable for you. I know it's painful for you to not be able to get it up. Shit, you want a nut just as bad as I want a nut.

You know what I'm saying? That's not one sided. It's both sided. Girl, I know he's feeling it. If you feeling it, you know how you think he feeling if you feeling that way, you know what I'm saying? And then move on to the finances and be serious. Stand your ground. Don't be rude. No man wants you to talk down because he probably already feel less than because he can't provide.

You understand what I'm saying? But again, this was your invitation. So you just keep that shit a hundred with them too. And you do that and tell them this entrepreneur thing that you're doing. No, don't call it a thing. Lord shit. He won't be like, what the fuck? Okay. No, don't minimize it like that. You say, I understand you are an entrepreneur, but I need for you to get a job until you able to get this business off the ground and up and running.

You know what I'm saying? But it can't happen here. You can still come past and see the kids. You can still come over. But I think I made the mistake of moving too fast and inviting you to move in. And I appreciate what you do for me. I appreciate how you stimulate me mentally. Actually, damn, you said he don't. Okay.

Yeah, this conversation needs to happen because I don't want you to start resenting him because that's not fair. It's not fair to you, him or the kids. So he needs to go. He needs to move out and there needs to be a distance created. And just in that part, in that aspect of it. Now, is he the type to blow up on your ass? Is he the type that would even understand? That's why I'm saying ask him to be open minded if he isn't already open.

You know, because some men won't be able to take that. But some men are. Some men are able to take the hard, cold truth. Because at times, I know it's cliche, but the truth does hurt. But it also matters to tell the truth. Because if you lie, both of y'all going to be unhappy. It ain't going to work out at the end because you're going to blow up one day and you're going to say some things that I damn sure know you're going to regret. Have the conversation while it's still early. Four months is not that long.

OK, please do that for yourself, your sanity and your babies, too, you know, and do that for him, too. Just for the sake of breaking a heart and for the sake of breaking your own heart, you know, because, you know, you're not happy. Check back in with me. Let me know, girl. OK, moving on. I lost my fiance about a month ago. Shit wasn't doing the best for months.

Damn. The picture? Okay.

This girl is my life. We got a daughter and she's there for my other kids. How do I get her back? First of all, nigga, you ain't even let me know shit. You just, you leaving some shit out. It's some other shit that you done did. Ain't nobody, uh-uh. Your fiance ain't gonna leave you just because she seen a bitch send a picture to your phone.

You've been doing something else and I ain't even going to take your shit until you open up all the way up and let me know what you did. I ain't playing with you. I am not playing. This is crazy. You're going to send me this little bit of shit. I'm going to read it again. I lost my fiance about a month ago. Shit wasn't doing the best for months. She would say I wasn't making her happy. Wasn't a great father at times. Rarely having sex. Long story short. How the fuck are you going to say long story short and the story already fucking short?

Long story short, a female messaged me sending me pics. I sent one back. Next morning, fiance seen it. We split shortly after that. This girl is my life. Got a daughter and she there for my other kids. How do I get her back? You tell a motherfucking truth about everything. So help you God. Because ain't nobody sitting here believing. I ain't believing this shit. I'm not believing it. Now you can come back and you can send me. Take your time. Take your time. Open up to me and tell me what happened.

Cause you ain't going to get her back like this. This is shit. This is probably how you lost her. All short and shit and nonchalant. Like you don't give a damn. You don't really want her back. And this is crazy. You sent me the same message, May 24th, sending me the same shit, December 18th. All right. So that was like, what, six months ago? Yeah, this was seven months ago. And then you came back and sent it again. So you still want to, obviously, but the dates done changed.

I know the dates change. You sent you copied and pasted and sent the same shit. So you ain't got her back yet. And you ain't going to with this nonsense. Try again. I better open up my DM for carefully reckless and see a longer message. Shit. Send a voice note. Talk to me. Cause this ain't gonna get you no way with me. I say, she don't take your ass back. Cause you lying about something and you hiding some shit. And yeah, I ain't playing with you niggas in 2024. I ain't playing with you women in 2024.

I ain't doing it. Get your shit together. And just like that, we've come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Juscelarius. I ain't playing with y'all niggas. I ain't playing with you. And in my deepest pan, boys, peace. Catch you next week.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offer a spacious seating for eight

Available panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes. Take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Touring capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Touring Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

The fall is creeping up on us, but we don't have to give in just yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.

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