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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪
And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Caffley Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious, where I'm fixing mess. That's what I do. That's what I does. Not only do I do it on The Black Effect for Caffley Reckless on my own podcast, I do it on Breakfast Club on BET and everywhere else you can listen to Breakfast Club at. Just make sure you tune in every day. You know, I ain't on it every day, but I will be. And I'm speaking it into existence. That's how you got to do it. You got to speak things as though they were. Speak as...
my bad lord I know that was in your good old book I know it but I don't really know it verbatim so I ain't gonna touch it we gonna jump straight in okay so I've been getting stories from everywhere okay uh now that I'm doing breakfast club and now that I'm out and about more and more people are asking me in person oh can you can I just have five minutes of your time so you can hear me out fix my mess it was this lady at the airport and she asked me what should she do about this
I was in Charlotte over the weekend and I met a lady in the airport. She wanted to take a picture, but she also said, can you help me with my mess? I was like, I don't even have to help nobody in person. I might have to charge you for that. And she started laughing, but I could see that she was really down or whatever. So she told me her story and she said, what do you do when you can't move on from your ex and your ex can't move on from you, but they're in a new relationship? What?
What do you mean? What do you do? You go get your man back. That's what you do. Because obviously he moved on a little bit too quick. And that's what people do. They jump in relationships. They jump out of relationships. And well, people do jump in and out. But this wasn't her case. Her case was they were together for six years. And she was like, I'm not going to let you go.
and they were having a lot of problems or whatever so they were going to take a break but they still lived together so that was the thing now separated living together I wouldn't even date a guy that tells me that he's separated but he's still living with his girl now they weren't married they were just boyfriend girlfriend for about six years or whatever but their struggles is why they broke up they both were struggling and that's what that's what it can happen you know finances it's
That shit can actually bring a wall up in a relationship and drive two partners away from each other. That shit will make you go crazy because if you feel like you can't financially provide for you or your family or you or your girl or you or your guy, it fucks with you mentally. You know what I'm saying? And that shit takes away from your confidence. It messes with...
other areas like sex you don't want to have sex no more you can't get it up because you broke you know you can't get wet because you're thinking about what you're going to do your bills are going unpaid and all that type of stuff so they fell up on hard times and they broke up and I guess he still needed that fulfillment from somewhere he ended up meeting somebody and getting into a relationship three months after the breakup and then shortly after admits to his ex that he made a mistake
And that's when he told her, I'm in a whole relationship and I don't know how to get out of it. So he came to her to ask her for advice to get out of the relationship with the new girl so he can be back with her. What the hell is going on? Just break it off with that girl. You know what I mean? I told her to tell him, just break it off with the girl. Like, you just got to sit down and just be honest. Like, he was honest enough with you to tell you all of that shit. He was honest. I like that. That's how you know they were friends.
That's how you know there was a strong foundation. A lot of people don't have that. They were friends. Some people would be half scared to death to go to their ex who they're still in love with and tell them, yo, I moved too fast. I got in a fucking relationship and I'm not over you and I don't know what to do. How can I break it off with this girl? Because I don't want to hurt her feelings because she's a very, very sweet girl. And you being that ex-girlfriend really give the guy advice.
That's a big step. That takes a lot of patience and a lot of damn dignity. And also no ego and no pride. Because that, that could never work with a motherfucker with pride. Could never work. Pride be so damn big. Ego be so damn big. Oh, he got me fucked up. Be so damn big. But,
But I really like this. I like that he was very, very honest with her, came to her about the shit and was like, yo, what should I do? And she didn't know. So when she saw me, that's what she asked me. It was a two part. She was like, I don't know what the advice is. He asked me for advice on how to break up with her. And I'm asking you because I didn't know what to tell him. And I'm also asking you, how do you move now? How can we?
Like, how do you just deal with this situation? You know, so that's how you deal with it. Get your man back. Obviously, you know, he loves you.
And you love him. Y'all just needed to get over whatever y'all needed to get over. Sometimes the end is not always the end. You know, sometimes it's just the to be continued. Y'all need to do your best team up to break up with that girl together so y'all can continue. Get back with me. Get back with me because you said you was going to listen. I told you I was going to talk about your story on my podcast. So make sure you follow up and you update me so I can update my listeners. Moving on.
So I did Breakfast Club a couple days ago and, you know, I fixed mess on there. Now, as I said to y'all previously, there was this girl that called up and...
I ain't gonna say this was dumb, but sometimes people just need to hear themselves talk. That's why I like when y'all give me y'all mess. Because when it's borderline obvious what the fuck you need to do, sometimes you just need to hear your story told back to you. So this girl called up and said, I wonder why I keep ghosting men. I never make it past the talking stage. Right? So I was like, okay, okay, okay. True.
Trying to figure it out because when people say that I never make it past the talking stage, you know what it is, right? It ain't them as you because you said you never make it. So that means almost every guy never makes it past the talking stage because you ghost them. What about them makes you want to ghost them?
She said, well, it's only the guys that I like. I don't ghost the guys that I really like. It just keeps happening with the guys that chase me. Because, you know, I got a nice raw side. I got a nice little starting five. First of all, baby girl, back it up. There's your answer right there. Girl, you said you ghost the niggas that be chasing you. But you don't ghost the niggas that you really like. So that means...
you're chasing behind somebody too. That's how it always go. The good girls always want the niggas who really don't want them for them. I'm not saying these niggas don't want you, the ones that you really like, but you like a guy to play hard to get. You like a guy to act like he don't like you. And I think a celebrity just said that. Ruby Rose just said that. She said she, quote unquote, I don't know. Well, don't quote me at all. Allegedly, I think Ruby Rose did say she liked guys who don't like her back or who act like they don't like her back. Huh?
you want a gay nigga, don't you? Shit, what you mean? You want a nigga to act like he don't like you. Excuse that. What the fuck you talking about? So, that's not the right way to go. And that also means that you like toxic shit. Because you like for a motherfucker to feel one way but act another. That's toxic as shit, girl. And I think that's mental as hell. Don't do that. Now, the guys that are chasing you
They probably whining and dying at you, probably calling you and texting you every day, doing everything that you want from these niggas that could care less. That's probably dicking you down every now and then. And that's probably smutting you out. And the reason why I say smut, because you're having sex with all the ones you like, but you ain't trying to give no pussy to the ones that are chasing you. That's crazy.
How about you stop the chase turn around for a second and pick one of them niggas who chasing you and see how it actually goes That's why you don't get past the talking stage because niggas too soft for you the niggas that chase you too pressed and too and too soft probably for you Get one of them niggas a chance girl I'm telling you'll probably be married with kids settle down somewhere and you'll be right in me next year It's how about just listening to you was the best thing I ever did in my life So get back at me girl. Get back to me now
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Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.
State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
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State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I think I killed G.T.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
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Moving on. So last week we had somebody in person. We're going to do one every so often. We have another person in person today that is going to allow me to try to fix their mess. I ain't going to let you know who they are. I'm not going to let you know who they are because everybody is anonymous on this show. So yeah, take it away. Hey, Jess. Girl, I'm irked. Okay, so I just got out of a four-year relationship.
Well, it was a few months ago, so you can still say it's fresh. And I just started being okay with dating again. And I started talking to this guy. And, you know, when you're starting to get into a new relationship, you want to let them know what you've been through. Just so you won't go through it again. Give them more insight on you. So I'm letting him know what I've been through with my ex. And he's trying to say that I'm comparing him to my ex. Yeah.
And it's not that at all. It's just literally I don't want to repeat the same cycle that I've been through with my ex. It's traumatizing, you know, and it triggers me. So I just want to know how can I communicate with him without making it seem like I'm comparing him to my ex.
Okay, so there's two ways that that could be taken. There's two perspectives on that because while you don't want to be compared and people actually do it, sometimes you do have to let that person know what you just went through, not only so they won't do it, but you have to let them know what you just went through.
But so they can handle you accordingly. They can handle you different. And so they can be like, oh, they can have a reference if you are triggered by something or if something happens. It's like, oh, man, she went through this. So or he went through this. So this is why they act like that. OK. And then. All right. Now we're going to try to break that and get them out of it. How can I reassure this person that that shit ain't going to happen over here? Because now you want good hands now, you know?
I think it's a meet in the middle type of situation. Let me ask you this. How often would you bring your ex up or your past up? Because that also plays a part too. I remember when I was talking to this guy and he brought up his ex every day, not because he wanted her, not because he liked her, you know, or he missed her. He brought her up every day because he was just that fucked up over the relationship that almost everything reminded him of being with her.
Even when he was talking to me, certain things, you know, she was also an aggressive person. And, you know, I'm not always aggressive, but my voice very aggressive off the rip, especially if you don't know me. You can take every almost everything I say the wrong way. You know what I mean? And I'm not even from New York. You know, we from Baltimore.
So, you know, but I would tell him, yo, I'm tired of hearing about your fucking ex. I don't like this shit. I'm not used to this shit. Nobody has ever spoke on the ex so fucking much. Do you fucking want her back? Because honestly, like I was so fed up and I was so like offended and defensive. Like I was just very like not even trying to look at it in a way of.
of, oh no, he's kind of telling me what he went through. And he's just very, very fucked up. It was just very severe. How often would you bring up your past or your ex to this guy?
To be honest, not that much. But I noticed it started becoming more frequent when he started acting like my ex. He would start, you know, doing malicious stuff. You know what I'm saying? It would be the same shit that my ex used to do. And I would bring it up and I'm like...
Okay, that's the shit that ran me away from him. That's the shit I don't like. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So I fall back. And he's like, I'm not your ex. I'm not your ex. You know, stop comparing me to him. I don't do the same. But you're acting like him. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So that's what I'm trying to battle with. Right. And get him to understand. So you actually said the words, you're acting like him.
Yes. Oh, my God. Was I not supposed to do that? No, you're not supposed to say that. Well, he was. All right. Well, say for instance, tables were reversed, right? Tables were turned and he told you, you know, you act like my ex.
You would go to fuck off. Right? Yeah. It's a better way to say it. It's a better way to say it. And to be honest, if the nigga act like your ex, the nigga act like your ex, to be honest with you. But a better way of saying it is, I've been through this before. I've been through this before. And that's why.
I made myself single. That's why I left my last relationship. I don't want to go through this no more. I'm not. This is a trigger for me. This scares me. I did it once. I'm not doing it again.
I'm not. He's still being compared, but it's not, yo, you act just like him or you act like my ex. Because if this is a man that's trying to build something with you, regardless of him acting like your ex, that could drive a man crazy. That could fuck with their self-esteem and that could always put in the back of his mind. She might really fucking go be back with that nigga because if I act like that nigga, she might as well just go be back with him.
You know what I'm saying? You know, and literally you saying the same thing. If you gonna act like my ex, I could have just stayed with my fucking ex. But that's not what I wanted to do. I don't want that type of shit no more. Like, I don't want to be treated that way. I didn't like this part about the relationship. So you either got to compromise with me, change that.
Or that's it. But y'all weren't in a relationship. Y'all were just talking. Just talking. And because I know you said you didn't even want to be in a relationship. No. Yeah, and then that was early on. So he probably felt like on his end, that's a red flag. She already saying I act like I act and all of that. But then you should see that as a red flag too. Oh, no, it's the same type of nigga. Oh, hell no. Uh-uh.
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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.
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Yeah, it's a lot. It took a lot for me to get to say that he acts like my ex. I'm having a conversation with him and I'm not even bringing up my ex, but I'm just educating him on myself. And also about things that he do that I want to question and stuff like that.
So, you know, we would just have a conversation just that in a third. And I would just notice like small stuff he would do. Like he would cut me off. Or if I don't like something that he say, he'll just try to sidetrack me. Like, okay, but you look so nice. You're not going to talk to me. Like, why are you acting like that? And I'm like, can you stop doing that? And he's like, stop doing what? Like, stop making it seem like I'm crazy. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about.
Like, yeah, absolutely. You know, and then he'll drag it on and drag it on. And that's when I exploded. And I said, you're starting to act like my ex. I got you. Like, don't ever make me feel like I'm crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm trying to educate you on how I am and tell you about it. And then you're kind of dismissing me because you don't want to face it or you don't want to hear about yourself. You don't want to hear about it.
Yeah, you don't want to hear about my ex. Yeah, you don't want to hear about my ex. And you don't like when somebody tell you about yourself. Exactly. It has nothing to do with my ex at all. But now, since you want to make it about my ex, you're acting just like him. Yeah. And that's just how I felt about him. Yeah. So what did he do when you said that?
Did he stop talking to you or did he? No, he was trying to kiss my ass about it because usually what I do when I'm feeling some type of way, I back off. So he's literally just trying to kiss my ass like, okay, you know, I didn't mean it like that because I stopped talking to him for maybe like a day. He started blowing me up, calling both my phones and just acting crazy. That's another thing my ex did. That's a red flag. Ladies don't let niggas call you. You know what I'm saying? No, ladies, if you got two phones, don't give them both numbers. The fuck?
How? Shit. I'm going to be married and my husband ain't going to have both my numbers. Shit. Please, you better not call me on this one. Shit. Because I just be calling a lot. Not that I've ever known because I don't have one. Shit. I think the question is being changed. Do you even think that I'm ready to date since I'm dealing with all this? Or should I just...
finish healing? Well, to answer the second question, you'll never finish healing because life goes on and it'll be new problems. And once you bury the old ones and get them ironed out and put them under, put them to rest, it's going to be new ones. So I don't think any such thing as a fully healed person
Because that would be a perfect person. You know what I'm saying? Well, they don't exist. We need some type of trial and tribulation. We need some type of obstacle because that's what makes us stronger. Ultimately, that's what our experiences and our different walks of life and our endurance and what we can come up out of. And that's why my biggest attribute is resilience, how I can just...
bounce back from anything, I don't think you're ready to answer the first part of your question. I don't think you are. And I think you already know that. But the idea of love and loving someone and having someone love you is always beautiful. And it always seems like it'll make sense. And it seemed like that's what you want. But how
How has your last relationship even changed you? Did you even think about going through a whole phase? Did you say, I want to date a couple of niggas? I want to have a roster of people I just talked to. I want to just be by myself until maybe we can figure it out. Maybe we won't figure it out. Or when we do, you know, I went and dated other people. So now I know that he's for me. Or like, how do you feel in that aspect?
Well, I did want to just, you know, just take my mind off it, like have distractions and everything. But sometimes I do get connected to a person and I don't want to talk to nobody else. It's a lot of work talking to a lot of people at one time. Yeah, having a roster. And then having two phones. That's a lot. I know. So...
I was just talking to him and then he started acting like that. And then it was so easy for me to fall back because he's not my ex. Right. I'm not used to him. And he's starting to act like my ex. So it's like, I'm used to dealing with the bullshit with my ex, but it's, but getting it from another person and the same stuff. It's like, I don't have to deal with this for me. Yeah. I was just dealing with this with him. So it was like onto the next. Yeah.
Now, if you talk to somebody else and they end up doing the same thing, it's going to be the type of guys you attract. Because you know what you are? You like to help people. You like to fix, like, brokenness in some sort of way. So, yeah, like, it'll be what you attract more so because you have a big-ass heart. You keep getting these battered and scorned people. Yeah. What about girls?
Y'all think about some girls. Actually, no, I got a few honeys on my roster right now. And you know what? This is over. I ain't doing this shit. No, wait, a few honeys? After you sitting there and fucking just... Yeah, but you know, I'm not really gay. Oh, so you fake? No, listen. Oh. I'm confused. And you see why people stay anonymous? They're going to be like, her fake gay ass. You bringing fake gays on the community?
You bringing fake gays on the podcast now where you can just bring a real gay up there with you scared of the real gays? It's like, no, y'all at my show every weekend. I ain't scared of y'all. I love y'all. I love, love, love y'all. So listen, that is the end of the episode.
I ain't got no advice for this damn girl because I like what she's doing. I love what she's doing. She's dating. There's nothing wrong with that. She's fucking dating. People think that dating is when you're with a person. No, that's in a relationship. When you're dating, dating is just seeing who you like, getting to know a person. And you can be dating more than one person.
You don't have to be having sex with more than one person. If you are, whatever makes you both fluke. But I'm saying everybody don't always have to date exclusively. Dating is you see what works for you. You're seeing if this guy works for you. If this don't work, you go on a date next Friday with another dude. That don't work. You go on a date. Try, you know, whatever you want to do. People should be able to date, date, date until they really find that one.
And so I don't have any advice for her. I think she fixing her own mess. You know, keep on telling these motherfuckers what you're going to stand for, what's not appropriate, what you will not take. Stand up for yourself because in your last relationship, you were taken for granted a lot. You know what I'm saying? And you know what you ain't about to take no more. You know, I'm not. I took that from this guy. I'm not taking this from you. So you're starting to remind me of my ex.
And I'm out of here on that because I could have just stayed with him for this shit. I get it. And I love it. You are straight up. No chaser with a girl. Love that. Now we come to the end of another carefully reckless podcast episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious, where she's fixing mess day in and day out. And you can catch this podcast each and every Wednesday on iHeart or wherever else you listen to your podcast. Also catch my new docuseries on YouTube.
It's called The More You Don't Know. And more is spelled like my last name, M-O-O-R-E. Check it out each and every Monday night at 8 p.m. We got new episodes dropping. And in my deepest pan voice, I'll see you next week. Peace.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going.
gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder this midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys offering spacious seating for 8 available panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent 4 wheel drive feature with 7 drive modes to take your off road experience to new heights
Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.
Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring Flex Cam with Galaxy AI. You can get in on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from
the real talk so grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T AT&T connecting changes everything requires trading of Galaxy S Note and Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for zero dollars additional fees terms and restrictions apply see att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details
The fall is creeping up on us, but we don't have to give in just yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.
MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.