Carefully Reckless: I Love Your Girl
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My baby, go into it!

Let's go! Critics are calling The Fire Inside an inspirational knockout crowd-crazer. If I'm gonna train for this gold medal, I'm gonna need exactly what the man get. It's a monumental achievement. I've been working my whole life for this. The Fire Inside, based on the incredible true story, rated PG-13, may be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters everywhere Christmas Day. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪

And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another podcast episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. What I be doing? I be fixing mess. And that's why the name of the podcast is called Carefully Reckless. And look, I never explained that to nobody, right? So, Carefully Reckless. I know y'all probably like, what the hell does that even mean? I mean, well...

Other than it being obvious, I'm reckless, but I'm still careful at the same time. And I got the name reckless from being a clad bad queen and being just with the mess early on in my career before I rebranded my phone. You know, I was a little messy. So, you know, I would say.

I was reckless, you know? But as time went on and I grew up and everything, I became very careful of things that I talked about. And then just going through controversy and all of that type of stuff. And then just having to bounce back and be resilient. And just rebrand myself. So that's why I like to sugarcoat it by saying carefully reckless. I'm not just reckless now. I'm carefully reckless. That's why I start using words like allegedly when I'm reporting shit, you know. But we're going to jump straight into it because I be fixing mess. Now...

I guess it's just over for the voice memos and shit. Because y'all don't be sending me them no more. So that lets me know that more people than before is paying attention. And I love it. I got more listeners. Because people be trying to listen for y'all voice. And I love that. Thank you very much. Let's get right into it. Hmm. Now, I had a little shot, y'all. So I'm on one of that. But we got these stories. And we're going to get right into it. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. I said that three times and ain't start reading yet. Child, please. Okay. Here we go. Hmm.

I think I already read this one. Okay. Oh, wait, it's the same damn girl. Damn, bitch, you got a problem every week. Shit. Okay, let me just scroll on down. I scrolled up. I fixed up mess a few weeks ago. Like, bitch, you need to take a vacation to go sit down some damn way. All right.

Oh my God, Jess, I have a dilemma. So I got this friend who unfortunately has a girlfriend, right? But this story isn't about him. It's about her. So when we first were introduced at his 21st birthday party, I honestly thought she didn't like the fact that her boyfriend had a close female friend, which a lot of women have issues with for no reason. Well, bitch, it'd be for reasons, but I understand what you're saying though.

But her delivery and approach with me was just off. Okay, so you're friends with this guy and his girlfriend has a problem with you. Okay, I just had to dissect it real quick. All right, so for the listeners who didn't understand, I didn't understand either. Now we can move forward.

Because you fucked this next sentence up so bad, I'ma summarize what I think you mean. Okay, so this is what they wrote, because I just got to put you out there for this grammatical error. It says, Okay, so...

She was talking to other women that she was actually probably cool with, but she got a problem with you and she shouldn't because you gay is what you're saying. OK, got you. Now, does she know you gay? But let's continue. So I came to the conclusion she didn't like me because I was me or because I was gay. And honestly, I was fine with that.

Damn, wait a minute. Bitches, you're drunk? Goddamn, let me read this again. So I came to the conclusion that she didn't like me because I was me or because I was gay. Right, okay, I got you, I got you, okay. And I honestly was fine with that. For months, we basically avoided each other, not really conversing, just high and by when she hung out with us all. Now about two months went by and we were all at our friend-mas party.

Everyone participated in Secret Santa, which was amazing, but my heart dropped when I realized who had me. It was her. Oh, shit. She was pretty cool when she approached me this time and even apologized for being standoffish in the past. Okay, that's cool.

Me being me, I told her it was fine, and then she gave me my gift. I thanked her and walked off. So it's later that night, and we were all drinking, just enjoying ourselves. I invited everyone out to smoke, but they complained it was cold, so I stepped outside alone. And two minutes later, here she goes, standing by the door, staring. It's just like a junkie, motherfucker. I mean, and I'm one of them, too. But yo, we don't give a fuck how

cold it is outside, if it's raining, if it's pouring down, snow, sleet, hail, if we want to hit a blicky, we gonna hit that blicky, okay? I told her to come sit with me and hit the blunt, which she did, and we talked, and talked, and talked, for what seemed like ten minutes, but it was really an hour. We had so much in common, it felt like we were soulmates. Talking to her made me feel something I've never felt before. Damn, you fell in love, bitch, over a blunt in ten minutes? Well, an hour? Mm-hmm.

And it was great, but I knew it was wrong. Ooh. I tried avoiding her after that, but it didn't work. Wait a minute. Let me just finish reading this story. This shit is unraveling pretty quickly. Next time I knew I would see her was New Year's. And I was right. As soon as I walked in, I greeted everyone and was suddenly pulled into the bathroom. Now, in my mind, I'm wondering...

How nobody seen her and why did she pull me? This sounds a little rapey. Damn. She knows it's wrong. I can't do this to basically my brother. Like, that's crazy. But then she kissed me and everything went out the window. Oh, mother. Literally, after things started progressing and it was too much to the point where my guilty conscience was screaming at me in my head, I honestly didn't know what to do. I know it's wrong and I know I should tell him, but we've been friends literally since we were in diapers. Okay.

I just know it will crush him. Any advice? Nah, but you on with this one. I ain't even gonna hold you. I don't know what to say. Nah, I got you. I ain't gonna leave you hanging, boy. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola.

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So you're her, right? You're the boxer? As long as I'm boxing, I'm going to be okay. My baby, go into the...

Let's go! Critics are calling The Fire Inside an inspirational knockout crowd pleaser. If I'm gonna train for this gold medal, I'm gonna need exactly what the man get. It's a monumental achievement. I've been working my whole life for this. The Fire Inside. Based on the incredible true story. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters everywhere Christmas Day.

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at RhodesScholar.org. Now look, I ain't gonna lie. We got one! So look, that's gonna be the sound I make when we read a story that we've never gotten before. Y'all, listeners, we have never heard a story like this before. Okay, I like this. I ain't saying we ain't never seen nothing like this in life, but ain't nobody ever write me.

like this nobody ever wrote me a story like this and asked me to fix they mess so for one like I said I appreciate you being honest and open enough to come out to me and tell me this shit because this is a bold story and I hope your friend do not listen to this shit okay so here we are

I think the advice starts with your friend, to be honest with you. Well, you know what? We got to back that up because you engaged with the friend and it takes two to fucking tango. And when she snatched your ass to the bathroom, you should have jacked up on a wall and said, look, bitch, you got to chill. You dating my brother. My brother says diapers. You got to relax.

All right. I don't want to betray him. And you shouldn't want to betray him either. But steady, you hear, trying to eat my pussy in the bathroom. Get your mind right, bitch. Backhander, walk out. That's what you should have did. That was the scene, right?

But you didn't. Y'all orally made love in the bathroom. Like, and I just meant tugging each other down. I didn't mean y'all went down on each other or nothing. That's crazy. And then what you said is you knew it was wrong, but everything went out the fucking window when she kissed you. And you know what this all starts with? You inviting her outside to sit down over a blunt and y'all having a fucking conversation. But listen, this is also what I realized. Maybe she didn't like you because she liked you.

if you get my drift if you get where I'm going you remember back in the day when you was in elementary school when you would have like a bully you know what I mean and then later on you found out that that person really liked you and shit that's exactly how I feel like this story is I feel like she she didn't like you because she was intimidated by you oh and it was never about the boyfriend maybe she always knew you was gay maybe the boyfriend told her

That you were gay. And maybe she was a little gay. Or bisexual. And she was like damn. Really? That's what I want anyway. You know what I'm saying?

So she been had her eye on you, obviously. She just didn't know how you would approach the situation. You know what I'm saying? She was trying to read the room, read the temperature of you. And yeah, when she realized how easy your ass was, she got you and you fell for the fucking bait. And you're a horrible friend for this shit. I'm not going to lie to you. Now we make mistakes as friends all the time. But baby girl, you was horrible for this shit. Because like you said, if it's going through your mind that you're wrong in that moment,

that something is actually happening that you know should not be happening then you you're aware you know it's not a mistake that's what makes it purposeful you know what i'm saying like you did this shit on purpose you did this shit with a purpose and what was the purpose but tell me what was the purpose like cardi say what was the reason what was the reason you know how many fishing to see and you are gay so how many girls out there waiting to munch on you oh

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And you going to fuck with your brother's girl on the side?

Uh, both of y'all need your head smacked, period. All right. And I'm saying that to you out of love because I don't want you to get mad at me, but I tell it like it is, boo. I don't always take the side of the person writing me a story. You know what I'm saying? Because sometimes y'all be wrong. A lot of times y'all are not, but sometimes very seldomly y'all are the ones wrong. You know what I mean? So you asked me, what did you, what should you do? I said, all that to say, you should have a conversation with the girlfriend.

I understand. Cause I want to know what do you want out of this shit? Like y'all need to figure out what the fuck y'all want, you know? And she needs to stop leaving main man on if she knows she really want pussy. You know what I'm saying? If she knows she really want to dive deep into the cootie cat, my nigga, why is you dealing with a nigga that got a thing thing that swing swing? You know what I'm saying? If that's what you want, you want the split and the clit.

then you don't need to be fucking with the dick yo I'm clearly feeling this shot but I'm feeling this episode too so I want you to sit down and talk to your friend after talking to the girlfriend and the reason why I think you you and the girlfriend owe each other a conversation because y'all need to really decipher what it is y'all y'all like y'all did you know what I'm saying like

What it is like, what was it? Was that just a moment? Is this something that y'all going to be sneaking around doing? Have you thought about her since that shit happened? Is there a lusting desire for her? You know what I'm saying? Because obviously we know there's one for you on her side. You get what I'm saying? Like, but we can't control her. You know what I'm saying? You can only control yourself. You can only control yourself and your loyalty lies with her boyfriend.

your brother since diapers. Remember? I'm just repeating back to you what you told me. I'm just spitting it back at you. This is your brother since diapers, boo-boo. Okay? Now, I done heard of niggas doing this shit, betraying their mans and shit. You know what I'm saying? But I ain't never heard of a stud doing it. And you may not be a stud, but something is telling me you are. My gaydar senses is tingling, and I feel a patch of stud in your story. You know what I mean? And I just want you to be honest with yourself.

Do you feel that's the last time you will ever get tongue down by that girl? Do you feel it's the last time that you will try to make a pass at her? Do you feel it's the last time she would try to make a pass at you? Y'all need to figure out what it is. You know what I'm saying? And then for the sake of your friend, if you really want your relationship, you need to shut that down. I think you need to tell a girl, look, shit, what we did, it was wrong. It was a fucking mistake.

I thought you didn't like me at first, you know what I mean? So I was being nice when I invited you outside to smoke that blunt with me and shit. And we talked and we realized we had more in common than we had realized or whatever. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if that was your goal from jump, you know what I'm saying? If he was plotting the whole time and shit. But like, yo, that's my brother. And I know we already then kind of went there. Because you ain't telling me if y'all slept together or not. But I'm just saying, like, you could say, I know...

We kind of already went there, but I'm realizing this is not the road I want to go down because I don't want to lose my brother. And we're doing this behind his back. And I know what he won't, what he don't know won't hurt him. But I don't want to betray my brother any more than I already have. That's the conversation you have with her. I don't know what her response will be. It could be one of two things. It could be...

There's probably more options it could be, but the main two, it could be either she understands and she goes to live happily ever after with your brother, says diapers, or she can say, no, I want you. I just don't know how to tell him. You know what I mean? Like, I don't. I'm bisexual. I'm attracted to you. I wanted you. I just didn't know, like, how to go about telling you. And I think about you all the time. What you gonna do? Something tells me that you gonna take B.

be you gonna take b and be like all right well fuck it we're gonna fuck right now you know what i'm saying but you shouldn't do that if you value the relationship that you have with her man after you had that conversation you go to him you tell him be honest be honest okay if she ain't you need to do it because y'all got the most history y'all been friends since diapers

Okay. I'm going to keep on throwing it at you because I want you to feel bad about the shit you did. Bad enough to not fuck with this girl again. Okay. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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And then good friendships are just hard to find. You know, I know it sounds like I'm joking a lot and playing a lot. Nah, that's the Casamigos talking, baby. I'm dead ass serious. Like friends are very hard to find. And I, and it's very seldom that you hear somebody say, oh, we've been friends since diapers. You know, I'm not going to say it's seldom that you hear that, but how many of those connections are still connected? You know, most friendships these days, long, long childhood friendships these days are

They break up because people grow up. They go to their separate ways. People realize that they're not who they used to be. And some people can't grow in other areas. And you just never know. You know what I'm saying? So like good friendships, long lasting friendships are hard as fuck to find, guys. So I just I want you.

to really value that because you do seem like you you love your brother yeah you do but that also wasn't in front of your mind when you got pulled in that bathroom that was like more so in the rear view you know what i'm saying and so you know yeah you tried it as a friend you definitely did try try your mans or whatever but i think that you owe him that explanation um you just owe him that explanation now i know a lot of my listeners are like well shit

She don't need to tell her friend if her and the girl done severed ties. But it's going to be awkward as fuck because Shorty's sneaky. You know what I mean? It obviously feels like Shorty's sneaky. Anytime you're being pulled and groped in the bathroom and you're being fondled and spreading your legs open and yanking your head back and she giving you passion marks and hickeys and shit and she letting you know she been wanted you but she just fucking your brother to get to you.

you know what I mean none of that happened that just seems like a really hot sexy scene you know what I'm saying something I might want to see later you know what I mean but that just that I'm just gonna assume that's what happened in the bathroom you understand what I'm saying

When you do that, all the loyalty goes out the window. That's not shit that you want to do. Okay? So I'm just letting you know, update me, talk to the girl, and then talk to your friend. Or just talk to the girl. Because now, you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, if y'all do have a conversation, you and a girl, you and a girlfriend, right? Have a conversation. And she say, it was a mistake. Because, you know, I'm not giving her benefit of the doubt. And I like to do that. Even though, even...

Even though she don't deserve it. Even when I don't want to do it, I still have to do it because I don't know her. You know what I mean? It could have been a spread a moment thing. You didn't tell me if y'all were both intoxicated or not or whatever, you know, because liquor can alter how you feeling and your mood and, you know, your desires and shit temporarily. So, you know.

If you sit down and you talk to her and she says, that was a mistake. I, you know, I totally agree with you. I don't know. I don't know what came over me. You know, it was just something that happened and it'll never happen again. Then, okay, I could see you not saying anything. But I just don't like the idea of him being in the dark. I don't like it. Because I hate when us women are in the dark, when guys sneak around. And I know the saying is,

What we don't know won't hurt us. But man, I don't know, man. I don't know. The fact that I know this and I know that he don't know. I'm hurt. You know what I'm saying? It just says something about your character. You know what I'm saying? I'm not calling you a bad person because I can't judge you off of this one situation. I can't judge you off of this experience that you're writing me about, you know. But I just want you to just look deeper.

Look deeper within yourself and speak to that. Like, really be like, man, I really did this shit. You know what I'm saying? And feel bad enough to not fuck with her again. You know what I'm saying? But if you can't do that, then you definitely have to have a conversation with him. I mean, I'm definitely open to you not talking to him if you and the girl both agreed that it was a horrible fucking mistake that will never be made again. You know what I'm saying? Which was very intentional, by the way. Motherfuckers always slap that mistake shit.

when they get caught, you know, or when they're about to get caught or when they feel bad for doing something, but you didn't feel bad. You know what I'm saying? When y'all was doing the dooski in the bathroom, y'all, y'all didn't, y'all didn't feel bad, you know? And honestly, shorty smart. Cause that's the only place that he wouldn't have caught y'all. Cause he can't come in a woman's bathroom. You know what I'm saying? I could have been in there for hours and hours and hours, like money long. And he would have never caught y'all.

He would have never caught y'all. So Shorty is serial sneaky. You know what I'm saying? Again, I don't know her. I'm not calling her a bad person. I'm not calling you a bad person. But if she knows she wants some pussy, she don't need to lead that man on. Okay? And you don't need to keep lying to yourself. If you want Shorty, go get her. You're just going to have to deal with your friend. But if you don't want Shorty...

I'm not going to force you sitting down with your friend if y'all both agreed that it was a mistake on each other's part. You know what I'm saying? On both of y'all parts. Both of y'all accounts. You know what I'm saying? Because one is not wronger than the other. No. She was wrong for initiating and you were wrong for engaging. And that's just what it is. Right? Yeah.

So update me, update me, baby, update me. And I love that. I love that we had a story that we have never had before. I know, and this is no discredit to anybody else, like with stories similar to others that, you know, that we try to fix the mess of every week. But it's, and we, I mean, me and Taylor, cause Taylor is not here today cause she's busy. But I wanted to take this one by myself. Yeah, man. Like I, I,

damn i just fucked my thought up i forgot it's crazy i'm not even pregnant no more and i still be having pregnancy brain i still be like forgetting like mid-sentence what the fuck i'm gonna say i don't know how long that takes until that goes away but that that happens and there's no no it's not because of the shot so don't judge me judge your mother and just like that we've come to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl jess hilarious again taylor is out to die because she has real work to do y'all all right so she ain't got time to be reading y'all problems

All right. But her friends got the worst problems. So we like to hear from them sometimes and fix their mess. But y'all catch us next week on Carefully Reckless and anywhere you find your podcast. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy, like Otsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Reif, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes,

and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to LiveNation.com slash comedy to get your tickets today. That's LiveNation.com slash comedy.

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State Farm, proud sponsor of My Cultura Podcast Network. If you've always dreamed of exploring the world, Rhodes Scholar welcomes you. Rhodes Scholar offers educational travel adventures for adults 50 plus in more than 100 countries and throughout the United States.

When you travel with Road Scholar, you'll be an active learner, not a passive tourist. Every day is thoughtfully planned to open your eyes to new discoveries, ideas, and people. You'll learn from local experts and meet others who share your passions. Find your next adventure at roadscholar.org.

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