Chaos on Christmas
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The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. And building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve.

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And just like that, we're back with yet another Catherly Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. Look, I got a special guest in the building, somebody who ain't been here in a long, long, long time. No, it's not Taylor. It is... Excuse me?

You got a little bit too much going on. You got too much going on with the sound effects and the huffing and puffing like you're about to blow a house down. It's Shayna! Go ahead, show it to Shayna, girl. Say what's up to my best friend. That's my best friend. Period. So she here today, we're going to go over this mess and she's going to help me fix y'all shit, y'all. Listen, we got some holiday stories. You didn't tell me we was doing that. Yeah. Yeah.

We got some holidays to... Uh-uh. Hey, yo. Yo, you got to help me fix these people's mess. It's the holidays and people going through some shit, y'all. All right, come on, y'all. All right, here we go. Yo, don't come up here, like, doing all this. Come on, I need you. Come on, all right. All right.

So, this was a long-ass story, but I had to basically summarize it. So, this man started beefing with his girl around holidays every year, around the holidays every year. Leave him. Not yet. And she's starting to think it's on purpose to avoid getting her gifts.

Yeah. So she asked me, what does she think she should do? She basically like leave him or whatever, because this is the third year in a row that he's done this. They've been together for four years. The first year he didn't do this shit. The second year. Yeah, it was a beef. She just thought it was like a little quarrel, a little speed bump in a relationship. The third year. Yeah.

He went to go spend Christmas and New Year's at his mom's house without her, didn't even invite her. And she said they reconvened after the New Year and shit. And then this year, he's starting to pick. Like, he's been picking with her since, you know, since Thanksgiving and low-key. Well, I've been through something similar before. But it was birthdays. So...

The person's birthday was in the beginning of the year. So they would get all that shit. It's the beginning of the year, my birthday in October. So come October, we beefing every year. And I'm like, wait a minute. And then roll back around to February. Now shit cool. Shit cool. Shit is lovely. Because it's Valentine's Day. Yeah. And then the birthday coming up. So it's like, you know, everything good. Okay. So, yeah.

Yeah, I would say definitely get... I stayed longer than I should have, but I would definitely say get the fuck up out of there. Then now, when you say you stayed longer than you should have, was it because...

everything else that was happening, like, was that, like, the only thing? That was, like, the only thing? I was in love, y'all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, y'all niggas was in love and shit. Oh, my God. Anyway, please. So, basically... Hello. Excuse. Clear throat. I know. I got a little cold. Oh, what the fuck you doing here sitting next to me? Shit. I got a fucking daughter who's going on four months. You think I'm trying to be sick for Christmas?

Damn, and I got two shows. So, um... Anyway. Anyway. The fuck? It's so long. Everybody's sick right now. Except me. The fuck? There's something going around. There's always something going around in this fucking country. Shit. Anyway. So, alright. So, you was in love. So, maybe...

Yeah, maybe she just in love too, because this is the third year that she said that he has actually picked fights, started little beefs or whatever. And she caught on the second year, but she didn't want to make it a thing. But this year is definitely a thing, and she wants to know what she should do. I think you should sit down with that nigga.

I'm like, no, yo, no. Niggas tired of sitting down. Niggas tired of sitting down? Yeah. Get out of there, baby. Well, stand up. Shit, stand up and talk to him. And walk out the door. Don't be telling nobody to leave. It's a holiday. All right, all right, all right. And what if he ain't got, like, all right, what kind of work does he do? See what he do this year and then next year and the year after that. Oh, my God. Just stay in it. Stay in it. No, when you put it like that, it's like, no, but she need to get to the bottom of it. We ain't going to leave. It's a routine.

he already put in some rotate? He already, that's what he did. He already started the cycle. Three times. All right. So it is a pattern. Yes, we do know. I still, all right, even if she don't, I think she should still sit down with him and talk to him about it. Let her, let him know. Like, look, I'm sure she did this three times. Oh, she said the first,

times she didn't the second time she ain't want to make it a big deal and the third year she noticing it I'm at a point where I'm not doing no more repeating myself you know so yeah I'm like this look you don't get it all right maybe two times but come on yeah

We too old for this. How did she know? No, I get it. She ain't tell me how old she was. That's why I said they be leaving hella meat off the bone. You know, I'm about to start putting a form on the website, on my website. Like, you have to be able to tell me a lot more about shit. We know something. But we don't know everything. We need to know how old y'all are, like, what kind of work he does. Because to be honest with you, listen, I can't even sympathize with him if that's what he's really on. I don't care. No, no, no. I'm not going to start beefs. But...

As an adult, as a 32-year-old woman? Oh, no, Christmas is very expensive. And I'm like, everybody feel like they should get something. Fuck no. I feel like if you ain't my children, then no. I barely got something for Chris, baby. I barely got something for my mom and my dad.

Shit, y'all got me. A beautiful child. Oh, please. Please. No, you don't even have no house. You don't have no bills. You don't have nothing. You need to get everybody something. You the one with all the money. Shit, send me on a trip. Shit, man. Y'all don't want to... These people don't want to Jamaica without me because I was stuck breastfeeding the baby. That's right. No, you was stuck at work.

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So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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Hey fam, this is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts.

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See terms and conditions. Anyway, oh yeah, back to this lady's story. Talk to him, honey. I think you should talk to this man. Because I mean, some stories are just obvious. Some shit is just obvious. Like to me, it's just like,

Y'all love going through the struggle. I know. Get you a woman, okay? Uh-uh, no. We are not pushing the gay agenda. No, we are not pushing this. Nah, don't do that. But, yeah. I mean, unless that's what you feel. But, yeah, do something. But, all right, because I want to also know, she needs to update me, because I want to also know, do you get him gifts every year? I mean, are you not getting anything? Like, is he not getting you shit? I'm sure she's doing everything on her end. Okay. Well, yeah, or she wouldn't be writing me. But...

Did you not get nothing for Christmas for the past three years? Like, is it just like, or is it like the bare minimum he's doing? Or is it just the fact that he's picking arguments to not have to spend time with you? Because you just said the thing about gifts, but the second year you said he went and spent Christmas.

with his parents and shit and didn't even invite you and what about other um holidays and like birthdays and things like that do he uh show up for you yeah so i think you need to like give us a little bit more you know context around this or whatever because i ain't trying to have you leave somebody when it can really just be a conversation or i ain't trying to have you stay with somebody when it's really downhill like nah it ain't nothing else to say it's like nah yeah nah nah that's that's petty

We together, we together. You can tell me if it's because you're struggling. Nigga, open communication. Let me know. Look, I ain't got it. Would the shit that you want be too expensive? So, I don't know. Or baby, every day is Christmas for you. Or every month is Christmas. So it's like, yo, I mean, I ain't really got it this time. Anything. Like, there needs to be a communication. Every year? You didn't tell me you'd talk to him. No, not every year. But what? Unless the man got another bitch somewhere. Yeah.

shit cause that seem like that's what you are resorting to I ain't trying to hear that for three years straight oh baby ah my pockets no I can't do it like no nigga what if I ass wanna burkin okay what if she wanna like you know what I'm saying what not okay yeah what if she want something that this man cannot afford every year what if she is you know hmm cause the first year he had no problems that's what it is

Mm-mm. She said the first year. No, they was together for four years. Oh, yeah, okay. The first year, he, you know, they bought each other gifts. They spent Christmas together. Everything was good. The next year, she said he picked a fight.

And, you know, he didn't get her anything for Christmas. Oh, yeah, she said he didn't get her anything. All right, all right. So update us and let us know what's going on, okay? By the time they update us, she won't be here. So let me know what the fuck is going on and we're going to move on. All right? Okay. All right, so, again, I'm summarizing because I want to get, it's three Christmas stories that I chose and I think these are, all three of them are different. Yes, the fuck? This person doesn't get along with their family. But,

but they want advice on keeping it cool on Christmas. Okay, so you don't get along with the whole family. Now, this person did say the whole family. She only gets along with her two aunts and her cousin.

But they have a really, really big family and they, the grandmother has a huge, huge, huge home. And they all meet there. They all meet there for Christmas every year. But she has an issue with basically the whole family outside of her two aunts and her cousin. And, but she wants to, one advice on how she can keep it cool. Just go in there and don't fucking say shit. Because obviously if everybody got a problem with you, you the problem. I'm better.

I'm about to say, I feel like she's in front of you. I don't know. I ain't want to judge her, but that's all we're going off of. Yeah, because if it's a big, big, big family now, she said it's about three full fucking generations. You sure she ain't say more than that? No, what? That like her? Yeah, like what's the issue? No, just her two aunts. Oh, no. She said she has a very problematic family. Everybody's toxic and they all have a problem with her. So don't sit there and say she's the problem.

So everybody niggas is weird. No, no, no, no, I'm not. I mean, to believe everybody just got a problem with you. If they're problematic and toxic, then everybody shouldn't like each other. You know what I'm saying? It should be more beefs than just with her. No, that it's only a two aunts and a cousin that you fuck with. And I imagine these are the family members that are.

that she comes for like because I wouldn't I don't family or not if I know y'all don't fuck with me and I don't fuck with y'all I'm not showing up to jingle bells jingle bells like no I don't give a fuck we not maybe I show up I'm trying to make a plate you make a plate no not if everybody don't like you and not if you don't like everybody you're not eating my food baby you never cutting my turkey if the fuck I don't like you yeah alright make a turkey for Christmas I've never not liked you make a turkey for Christmas right

I made a turkey for Thanksgiving, then you weren't there. Because you didn't call me back. How the fuck do I need to call you back? Listen, you pop up at my house even when the fuck I'm not there. I come home, you in my pool, baby. So please, what the fuck do I need to call you back for? Because I called you. Whatever. And I live far. Yo, I live so fucking far from her. But she drives, and she a driver for her fucking career. She drive every day. So it's like, why you can't drive to my house?

When I call you, call me back. The point is, what are we going to tell this lady about this advice? Oh yeah, yeah. So yeah. I can't do my podcast with you. We're not helping people. We fucking fussing each other. Alright. Just tell her. I mean, alright. I'm telling you. Okay. To um... You don't need to remember the story. She got a problem with her family. Yeah, yeah. Family matters. So...

Try to work it out. Whatever the issue is, you know, y'all got to talk. Y'all got to come together and figure this thing out. I need more information. Like, why? And listen, I'm summarizing these, but she really didn't give me much. She didn't say where the beef came from. She didn't say she did something. She is 38. So I feel like she a little too old to be 38.

What do you mean? She a little bit too old to be dealing with this shit. Don't have Christmas by your damn self. Yeah, she got kids? She don't have children. Oh, wow. Nope, she don't have children. She's not married. She have a man? So, she ain't saying if she got a man or not, but she don't have kids and she's not married. So, this is... And you know why? Probably because she's fucking problematic and toxic. On her way to 40, just fucking everything up. You know what I'm saying? And that's crazy. You know, so you on her side. Why?

Cause man. Your family don't like you either? Excuse. My family love me. Exactly. So you don't even know. I don't like them. So I'm joking. I'm joking. I love my family. Right. Um, but I mean, I don't know. I feel like she, I'm going to encourage therapy. Yeah. I would say, you know, I mean, shit. Because I mean, and with, like I said, I'm summarizing, but she did seem like,

She wanted to be around her family. She did want... Like, she still wanted to be around them because, like she said, family and fellowship during the holidays just goes together. And she just wanted to be around some love. You know what I'm saying? She lives by herself. And...

Other than her two aunts and cousins, she, yo, she could be bipolar. She could be schizophrenic. She could, like, have an issue with, like, I don't know. I was ready to say she could just have an issue with everybody individually, but who knows? Like, you don't just do that. Like, you know what I'm saying? She could be an introvert, too. She could be an introvert, but introverts usually, everybody still be liking introverts. Like, it ain't like, she says she don't get along with her family at all. None of them, except for those three.

So I think she needs to seek out therapy because I feel like she's a common denominator. And it'd be an underlying thing. It might most definitely be an underlying issue. Yeah, I think you should seek out therapy, definitely. And it's this pamphlet that, like a little holiday book on griefness.

for it's Have a Merry Little Griefmas or whatever, how people handle and navigate being alone and losses and just pain and trauma, like how they handle that during the holidays or whatever. And the author is Shanti Dyes. She was up at Breakfast Club and the...

pamphlet is, I wish I knew your address. I would send it to you. I would gift it to you for free, but it's only about $12 or $13 and it just gives you healthy tips on how you can navigate through, you know, your emotions at a time like this. You know, it teaches you about recognizing your boundaries and recognizing, you know, how pains of like different trauma and stuff can haunt you more and then it also is a part in there that tells you like,

It helps you with, like, being on social media. Because being on social media during the holidays and seeing people with their families and shit like that and seeing people, like, with their parents and having fun and all that, that can push you further into your depression. Or, you know, I can stress you the fuck out when you home already alone and, you know, lonely and shit. Because this girl said that she goes to our family even though they...

They don't fuck with her like that. She don't fuck with them. She still goes there. You know what I'm saying? It shows that she wants that connection. It shows that she's alone too. She says she lives alone. No kids, no man, you know, I mean, no, no marriage. Like she, she's just that I'm not married and I don't have kids. So she didn't say whether she had a boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever, but she, um, obviously, obviously it's not socially where she wants to be. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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- Hey fam, this is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn and to build something that lasts.

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So, yeah, I do encourage therapy. And just keep me updated, boo. And just, you know, next time you update me, update me with more detail. I mean, your story wasn't too long, but I still, for the sake of this only being a 20-minute episode that I wanted to drop on Christmas, I shortened it up. So, I know I'm not leaving anything out, but I think you need to drop some more information. But happy holidays, boo. Try to get through that.

All right, we got one more story. Like, okay. Now this person can't decide which family to spend time with. I was clearing my fucking throat.

So, um, person, well, I probably caught it from you, motherfucker, that quit. Shit. I don't know. Person ain't know, I don't know, you better know. So this person can't decide which family to spend time with. Oh, the baby mother or the girlfriend? Right, right, right. Now, he's not with his baby mother, okay? They haven't been together in six years. But...

He never missed a Christmas. He usually... He usually... He's a new girlfriend? Mm-hmm. He's been with his girlfriend for a year. Okay. And this will be their first Christmas together. Yeah. And, well, they not... He said eight months, but after Christmas, it'll be a year or whatever. More into 2025. But, like, he loves his girlfriend. Like, there's no complaints, no nothing. His baby mother don't give him problems. His girlfriend is never beefed with the baby mom. But...

She has an issue that he wants to spend Christmas with his kids.

They got two boys and a girl. Oh, the girlfriend have an issue with that? The girlfriend got it. Yeah, because she's like, why do you have to spend the night over there? Oh, he want to spend the night. Yeah, so they do this thing where they do like a... It's like a whole... Christmas Eve. They watch movies. They bake cookies for Santa. They do the elf on the shelf thing. Is she cool with the baby mother? She has met the baby mom. Pretty cool. Because she has met his kids. Yeah, he said the baby mother is like not...

Like, beefing it all. Now, what stuck out to me, he said he don't think she has feelings for him.

Who, the baby mother? Yeah. He said he don't think she do. He said he's moved on and he's not. He don't have feelings for her, but he don't think that she got feelings for him. Usually, you know when y'all... Yeah, yeah. And he said he would. He said that if his kids weren't so young, it wouldn't be a problem. But his kids are three and two and, you know, they got like stair-step kids. So they're pretty young. Does the baby mother have a boyfriend? No, she does not.

He said that she dates, but she don't bring... She hasn't brought a man around the children. A man has never been in the house to his knowledge. So I just feel like... Okay, so it's a couple different ways to dissect this here because the girlfriend, while I do understand how she feels, I understand that shit. I mean, there's no way getting around...

Even thinking like that. Like, why the fuck do you need to go spend the night with them? Yeah, I don't think he needs to spend the night. Unless I can go. Yeah, that's what I'm about to say. I would make it a family. Especially if the baby mother cool with the girlfriend. Yeah, that's why I was asking that. But I do believe because he said he don't think she's over him. And where do you sleep after y'all put the kids to bed? Do you sleep in a room with the kids or do you...

You sleep on the couch, do you sleep with her? Like, what? I'm pretty sure all of this is going to go through the girlfriend's mind if you do still take it. That's something he would have to change if he's serious about this girlfriend and they're like...

Everything's going good. He would have to really consider, he got to consider her feelings. Absolutely. And he's going to have to change all that, spending the night. Now, going over there is fine. You know, I would even enjoy going with him if I was the girlfriend. Right. And they're cool. Right. Like, that way it make you feel more comfortable and secure with their relationship as well. Mm-hmm.

Because you have to deal with this person anyway because that's his baby mother. You're going to have to deal with it. Yeah. So I would say, you know, make your rounds. Like, go stop past there with the kids. Enjoy yourself with them. Go with the girlfriend. And, you know, yeah. Like... Yeah. And really, really... You got to bring people together. If you're real serious about this young lady, then yeah. Because I know you love your kids. I know you love your kids. But a part of it is not really about the kids for the girlfriend. The girlfriend is like, yo, y'all ain't been together in six years. And...

you still spending, you know what I'm saying? Like, but this is something that they've been doing for three years now. That's because he didn't, I guess he didn't have anybody. He was single before that. So this is like a, it's a problem to him now. He hasn't talked to either one of them yet. He did say, but he was like, yo, I just want to know what I should do. Um, now that's advice on a girlfriend. Now,

on the baby mom, you need to really sit with her and figure out all y'all done or not. Like, if she think that y'all finished or whatever, y'all need to figure that shit out. Okay? Because you can't be straddling the fence with that shit. You said you love your girlfriend and you also don't want to confuse your children. You know what I'm saying? Because if you don't live with them already and daddy just come over, you know, and you play Santa Claus and then they wake up in the middle of the night and see mommy kissing Santa Claus.

You know what I'm saying? That's going to be a motherfucker problem. You know what I'm saying? But, yeah, you need to sit down and be honest with yourself first. I think you know your baby mother ain't over you. However, she has never given your girlfriend no problems. That ain't the problem. The problem would be your girlfriend sitting at home by herself wondering what the fuck is going on at night. You know what I'm saying? So that's going to make her feel uneasy, and then that's going to create tension in your household. So, yeah.

You either take her or you tell your B moms, you can't spend the night. I can be there early Christmas morning for my kids. I can be there late at night, Christmas Eve for my kids, but I can't stay the night. Yeah, you can't stay the night. I'm just not. That's it. Because the kids are not really. Kids are going to be fine. Yeah, you came. You showed up. You showed up for them. They not going to miss the B. They won't even be worried about the stay in the night part. That's right. That nigga need to update us, though, because I need to know what happened in the new year. Yeah.

And just like that, we've come to the end of... Yeah, we done. I got to go and do the news. I'm at work. Oh, well, baby, you can record your own goddamn podcast. Peace, y'all. I'll see y'all in the new years. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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