Friends Can Be Lovers
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We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

Welcome to Carefully Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪

And just like that, we back on the air with yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. And I got my boo Taylor here. So we're going to both read a story. So I'm going to read one and then she's going to read one. All right, we're going to give her a little break, but she's definitely going to be in on the mess with me. So here we go. Hello, Jess. I need to hear what you think about this. So I just got out of a long distance relationship. It wasn't really going well for me.

So that was that. I quickly started enjoying my single life and just exploring options. Mind you, I'm very open with everyone I talk to. So no one is confused or left in the dark. Not saying it was a whole bunch of people, but you know, during this process, I enjoy talking to this one girl. We would always have conversations and she was just a cool vibe. We started hanging out and she even met a few of my cousins. Yes, I know what you're thinking. This sounds like it's leaning towards a relationship. Yeah, it does. But I promise you, we agreed to take things slow and to just vibe out.

Here's when things started getting complicated. I travel for work and always have an unpredictable schedule, which I made her aware of ahead of time. So sometimes I wouldn't text back right away or my responses would be short, but only because I'm busy, which I would let her know. She would always be quick to ask, am I doing something wrong? What are you doing? And kind of back off as though she's trying to imply that I'm being sneaky. Yeah.

I gave her the reinsurance that she needed, even though I don't owe it to her because we're not in a relationship. But that's just me. Moving on. I came to her one day and told her that I like the speed that we're going. See, this is why I be having salary, because why is this one sentence? Shit. Girl. Oh,

I came to her one day and told her that I like the speed that we're going and I don't want anything to change that. So I just want to continue to vibe. And she took that as me saying, I don't want to talk to her anymore. And I don't like the way things are going, but that's not what I said at all.

After that conversation, she started moving weird, texting me back less, giving me a whole lot of nonchalant responses. I even invited her to come on a trip, a friend's trip, mind you, that I was going on. And she started replying less and less about that. I asked her what the problem was and why has she been acting weird? And she keeps saying, oh, yeah, it must be someone else. What?

When you telling me something that somebody is saying, use quotations. Damn. Oh, my God. I asked her what the problem was and why she has been acting weird. And she keeps saying, oh, yeah, it must be someone else. And that I basically told her I don't want to talk to her anymore in that way. Here goes me once again, giving her the reassurance that I really don't owe her. But I gave it to her.

She still continues to act weird after that. So I decided to fall back. As soon as I did that, I found out that she was back talking to her ex, which made sense. Yeah, duh. That's where all the accusations was coming from. Projection. I definitely confronted her about it and she tried to smooth it over and say, well, we weren't really even together anyway. Oh, so she pulled a you on you. Oh, okay. Okay.

And that I told her that I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I just let her have it because girl, what the fuck? Even after that, she was still trying to talk to me. And I guess because I figured out the truth and was over it, but she still wanted to be cool. And,

And then the funny thing is she ended up backing out of the trip, which I knew was going to happen, but didn't even tell me and ended up going to the same place, but with her ex at the same time. Wow. Oh, this bitch is weird. Jess, there is a word for this girl, but I can't put my finger on it. Help me out. Laughing my ass off. Also, I want you to let me know if I was wrong in this as well. Well, the word you looking for. Yeah.

Yeah. Wear the shit. Wear the shit. I was going to say something else, but that's weird. That seals it because the whole thing is...

Well, before we get to the whole thing, the trip was crazy. I invite you on a trip, right? And we fell out, so we not going no more. So you fell out of that, right? And I'm guessing she left her with the bill. It must have been some money shit going on, but she ended up still going. So she probably wanted the money back from the girl, because I'm not going no more, which fucked shit up.

And then you end up still going, but bringing your ex. Right. And I wonder, did they see each other? Of course she did that shit on purpose. I feel like she did, especially...

And then this girl just seems like she's possessive, very possessive. And she she falls very quickly. Now, the one that the girl was talking to, the one who wrote us the story. Yeah, I feel like she's not telling us something, even because let's let's break this whole shit down.

You said that both of y'all were talking. It was a vibe. Both of y'all said y'all didn't want a relationship, whatever, whatever. And then y'all started, then she started falling for you and started becoming increasingly possessive, obviously, because you said you travel for work.

And you would tell her, yo, I'm going to be busy. But she would get upset because you wouldn't text right back. Yeah, insecure. So she insecure as fuck. The interesting thing is the girl who wrote us the story, I feel like she let her on a little bit. No, I feel like she because if she must have been talking to that girl every day or day. But you can't do that.

If you know you ain't trying to be in no fucking relationship, that's just not what it's going to give. Like, what you think? But that's why people have to... I wonder how old she is. Because that's why people have to just be straightforward. Do you want a relationship or not? Because that whole situation shit... Yeah. That shit, yeah. It's sticky. Because she said, though, she's like, I like... She likes the way things are going, though. Uh-huh. So I guess... And people... I made the girl fall back. I don't know. Yeah, and people... People...

They think they can handle situations until you start to fall for that person. I've been in one of those before. Especially if she's the only person you're talking to. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. If you're exclusively talking to somebody, that's going to lead to people thinking that, okay, this might be going somewhere serious. You know what I'm saying? Now, the girl wrote it. She said that she was talking to other people, of course, but...

I felt like she was giving this girl a lot of her time. She was the main girl that she talked to. And that girl took that as, oh, this girl going to be my girl. Even though y'all knew from the jump, y'all had an understanding. Neither one of y'all wanted a relationship.

but she probably didn't expect to fall for you that fast and you didn't expect for her to fall for you and start acting crazy. What's the point? I don't even know the point of situationships anymore. I don't either. Because people are not dating to, why are you dating? The end goal is the relationship, right? Exactly. Like, not just to talk and fuck. Like, that shit is weird. I don't get it.

And I think it's because we're older now. We are. Because I used to love a little situation in my 20s, in my early 20s. Yeah, but you were scared of commitment. Yeah. I wasn't ready for commitment in my 20s. You know, so I'm like, okay, I'm just living free, having fun, you know, but you hit a certain point.

where you're like, all right, I'm done with the streets. Like, just like men. Just like, and you know, you grow up and of course women grow up, you know, a lot quicker than men. But she went back with her ex though. Who? The girl. The girl. So she wants a relationship. She wants a relationship. Because she went back

But she said, I don't think she went back to that. I think, you know what I think this is? I think that the girl just got her ex on top because if she wanted to be with her ex, she would be with her ex. That's just probably somebody that she keep going back on, like keeping that, keeping shorty in her pocket. Yeah. Just in case other shit don't work out. Just like niggas do. Like, people,

people do that you know they they treat people like disposably and that that's fucked up because she told her it wasn't even like that you she probably was talking to her ex the whole time but just like a nigga with a baby mother that he don't want to be with but he want to keep fucking right when he wants to when when shit ain't going right with other bitches like that's that because that was my experience because Rome used to fucking make me be him to fuck up because he used to do that but yeah I haven't

I'm thinking about my ex who, I guess, was trying to do that, but we never did any... Like, I'm one of those people, once I'm done, I'm done, though. Yeah, that's it. There's no going back. I'm not spinning a block. I'm not trying to hear you out. None of that. Yeah, so, and this sounds like they're very young, honestly. They haven't come into...

Like, they're not mature enough yet to, like, solidify real relationships and to know what they want and know what they're not going to accept out of relationships because I wouldn't even be fucking with her. Like, as crazy as she is. Like, I mean, as stalkerish and insecure as she sound, I wouldn't. But she might

the other girl probably playing around on her too, though. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's something like they all playing around and shit. So I don't even get what the question is. She said, do you feel like I was wrong? Wrong for what? Like, wrong for what? Did you leave the girl alone? I don't feel like it was an actual question here. She said, also, I guess wrong to feel a type of way, maybe? If she... Because you were saying that if she didn't want a relationship, why...

Yeah. But, I mean, again, feelings are feelings, so you're going to feel it. Okay, so how she started was, I need to hear what you think about this. So I just got out of a long-distance relationship. Oh, right. She just got out of a long-distance relationship. So, yeah, so she really wasn't trying to commit to this girl. She was just probably just, yeah, talking and shit. Yeah. Quickly started enjoying my single life. Yep. And just exploring my options. Minds were very open with Fariy Baik. I think the type of person that this girl is, like, she...

she's a charmer. Like she's a charming person and she'll make, she'll make somebody fall for her. And then she'll probably be falling for them too. But she leave motherfuckers on. You can tell like, there's no way that girl started acting like that. If you wasn't giving her that time of day, like, and it may not seem big to you, but if you just talking to somebody, but y'all on FaceTime all day, y'all talk, y'all text all day. When you switch up your pattern. Yeah. That person's going to feel a certain way. Whether y'all just talking or in a relationship or not.

You know what I mean? Like we developed the pattern. I'm used to waking up to good morning and, and you calling me when you get off work and you telling me about your day and shit. And I'm the last person you talk to at night and you're the last person I talk to. And then now that goes to like nothing. You slow texting now. You're not hitting me back. Even though you said you, you travel. I know you travel. You busy. You probably doing something out there. They now have developed like this false relationship in their mind. And now the bitch got you cheating on her and you at work.

but you ain't even with her. I've, I've, I've been in this situation, but, um, I don't know what you want me to tell you, but just grow up. And, and,

Grow up. Let's move on. And just enjoy your single life. Like you said, when you run into people like this, you have to understand. Everybody ain't going to be like you. Maybe you didn't fall for her. She didn't plan to fall for you, but she did. So just don't give too much of yourself if you already know what your objective is. Your objective is just to have fun, take things slow, go steady,

then stay on that. Don't over, don't overdo it. Don't overextend yourself. Cause that's going to make you feel like that's going to make a motherfucker feel like, Oh, this motherfucker want me. Yeah. We're going to be in a relationship. So just prioritize like what you do, like prioritize telling them like, no, no, give yourself like three hours a day to talk to a person. That's it. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Moving on. Roy.

Hey, what's up, Jess? So over time, I dated this girl who really became one of my best friends. My friends love her and my family love her too. But we never made it official because of different circumstances, like either I was in a relationship or she was. And now I think we've got too close to even really be in a relationship. I think there will always be a what if with us, but we both agree that we will just remain friends.

So here's the kicker. I am dating someone new and she went through my phone and saw that me and my friend were more than friends before. Now, yes, I did lie and just say like, that's just my friend. And now she wants me not to be friends with her anymore. After she went on the phone and found out that she was texting a girl. Okay. Yeah.

And this is another gay story. I don't say she was a woman. I dated this girl who really was out here. So I'm dating. OK, yes. I like about me and my friendship to her because I feel it's none of her business to know. And I knew she would react. I mean, just like this, wanting me to break up the friendship.

Help me out, Jess.

I've been in a situation like this. That's a little... You have? Mm-hmm. I've never been in a situation like this. You know what? See, mine a little different. Mine is a little different because... All right. I'm going to share mine real quick. See, I was dealing with somebody and they was intimidated by me and Rome's bond. Like, Rome is my baby father, y'all. Y'all know that Ashton did. And he... Y'all know how we are. We're like brother and sister, fucking siblings. Like, we're not...

We're good together. You know what I mean? Like, we cool. We just friends. Like, you know, but he like my family and I talk to him almost every day. Like, you know, and that was the issue for a guy. Like, I don't know. Like, but Rome is my friend. But it's different because he my B-father. What was your situation? I had a friend and me and him, like, messed around before. But it's kind of similar. Like, we had, like...

We just never actually made it official. But of course, family and everything else like that. Because we only went to friends first and then got into whatever. And then he dated someone that already was jealous, that had jealous issues already. And his dumb ass was like, well, always talk about me, though. So that probably also sparked like, who the fuck is this? Whatever. So...

she found out and yeah, she didn't want him to be friends with me no more. And mind you, I didn't even know he even had a girlfriend. He didn't even tell me any of that or nothing. Damn, that's fucked up. It is fucked up because I told him when I got into a relationship and all that other stuff. Yeah, because y'all are friends. Yeah. But anyways. Your friend liked you.

Yeah, I guess, but... Because why wouldn't he tell you about his girlfriend? Exactly. I don't know, though, because I was real with him, but whatever. Did he ever give you signs that he did like you, though? Yeah, I already knew he, like... Right, right, right. We were always friends, but he was, like, in the Army or... I'm sorry, he's in the Navy. And I was in school and all. Right, right. Like, it wasn't like... Yeah. That's my... I wasn't going to have love for you, but it's like... No. No.

So he ended up... Actually, we didn't speak for a year or whatever. And his mom was mad at him because he was like, yo, she's been there for you. How are you just going to do this girl to like... Yeah, make you break up with your friend, basically. They ended up breaking up because she was crazy. Okay. And insecure, obviously. Yeah. And I tell them to this day, he's the only guy that's like...

What? Like, that was able to get, like, me and him are cool. Still cool. Yeah, but, like, because he had to, like, really, like, I knew it was, like, he really felt bad. He had his friends calling me, his mom calling me, like, just talk to him, like, sorry. Yeah, he's like, I just want my friend back, fuck it. Like, you know, yeah, no, I get it. Because that was a friendship. That was, you know, how long were y'all friends? Now? Mm-hmm. Damn.

It's been like 15. Yeah. Like that front, like friendships don't come, don't, don't come by like that nowadays. You know what I mean? So it was always good to have those good people and keep those clothes, keep those people close. But this, this person here that that's writing us a story, their friend, I feel like they say they were friends for 10 years, 10 years. Yeah. But at what point do you feel like this, this friendship is a little questionable when you,

your girlfriend going your fucking phone and see... And did they even say what they read? No. Well, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I feel like you're leaving out parts of it. Like, what did they... Are you guys flirty? A little bit too friendly? You know what I'm saying? Because friends...

Right.

Y'all friends, this your friend. Y'all got 10 years of history. You feel me? Like y'all could be sneaking around or, you know what I'm saying? Hiding shit from me. And I don't know. So those type of situations are very touchy. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time,

Share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please, go for it.

Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

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You know what's even more crazy? The girl, the guy was living in, my friend was living in Hawaii at the time. What the fuck? Like, we're not, why do you think he's cheating? Like, we're not doing nothing. That shit was so crazy. She called my phone, all that. So they were in Hawaii? No, no, no. I'm just saying my situation. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. The friend that she was talking about. I was in Philly. Philly.

wow from Philly to Hawaii and then y'all are cheating yo he's calling my phone and he lied to me too cause he was just trying to be on some sneaky stuff cause they ended up

getting secretly married and all. He was like, you can't, like, leave my husband alone. Like, just go on off. And I was like, huh? I was so confused. I'm an asshole too, though, because like, once he started getting me going, then I just played with you. Then I was like, you know what? I'm asking for it. Cool. Because he licked my ass the other night. Yeah. Like, tell her why. Jesus. Good times. But, um, I think,

Well, I have a question, though. What's that? Do you think, do you always think it's necessary? Like he said, he was like, I don't think it was necessary to tell her, like, really the past because of how, most likely people are going to react, though. Like, if you don't have a kid involved, like, they're going to feel a type of way. Yeah. No, I think, I think,

It was absolutely necessary for you, especially because what do you want a relationship for? You have to, what makes a relationship? Communication, honesty, you know, loyalty, you know, love, being open and shit. Just like you supposed to be able to put that type of shit on the table. But I, and I feel like when people don't and they hide shit like that, like lower friendships and shit like that, like they're expecting to, they even hide, even like,

then I want to open up about something happened in the past and then I want to open up about with that person. Or they're just nervous, like you said, the reaction. They like that person. But you don't think it's just a reaction of someone else, though? But that's what you got to deal with. You know what I'm saying? Like, if that's going to be your partner, if this your girlfriend and shit, like, or, you know, if it's a girl,

a girl going through this shit, all right, if that's your boyfriend, keep that shit a buck and see how they handle it. Now, how they handle it tells you a lot about them. Yeah. Because if somebody can't respect your honesty, you know what I'm saying? Instead of hiding it, I'm glad that you told me. I would look at that as, all right, cool. Now I know what to look out for. I'm not going to not trust you because you didn't, you could have withheld the information. Then when I find out,

And you didn't tell me that's going to make me not trust you. Yeah. I wonder how old they are though, because I know I remember back in the day, like if I had a boyfriend, he's still friends with his ex. Like why? What are we doing? Yeah. Like being more mature, like you could be cool with your boundaries. Absolutely. Wait, so this is an ex relationship.

I thought this was a friend. No, a friend. Oh, I'm just saying like in general. Oh, yeah. If I was with somebody and they were friends with their ex or something like I was. It wouldn't be a big deal nowadays. Yeah. Back in the day. Yeah. I was very like, oh, no, fuck, fuck out of here. But see, that's again, that's like much immaturity, immaturity and how when you grow up certain things, you don't even look at the same as you did when you were younger.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you, Taylor. We've come to the end of yet another... What should he do? I don't know. Shit. Oh, yeah. Let me give the advice. What should we do? What was the question? What should... She found out now and they went... Should he break up his friendship or not? Oh, shit.

I think it has a lot of talking. If you don't want to break up a friendship, could you just start dating this girl? You don't know how. Oh, I know why I ain't giving no advice. Cause I don't feel like he gave everything. I don't feel like he or she is giving everything. I feel like him and that friend probably did something. If we don't know what the text said that your girlfriend texts,

I mean that she checked when she went through your phone. I can't give you no advice. I can't because I don't know what it is. All right, let me let me just do scenario A and B. So scenario A, say y'all was flirting. Say y'all were flirting and shit. Your girlfriend caught that. You have to leave your girlfriend.

You got to leave. You got to break up with her and go try to pursue your friend. Because that seems like that's where their love is at. And it's a disconnect there. Y'all got to figure something out. You know what I mean? It seems like that's where you want to be, but something ain't connecting or something's not right. Go figure that out. Don't play with nobody in the meantime. You get what I'm saying? Don't play with nobody's feelings. Now, scenario B. If it wasn't that serious and y'all wasn't texting on no shit, that means your girlfriend is just...

insecure, but you got to do a better job of reassuring her that she is the only one in that. Yo, I'm allowed to have friends like every friendship where there's opposite sex don't have to be nothing intimate or nothing going on. It can be strictly platonic. Like this is my friend and that's your friend of 10 years. You should be able to break that down and tell her if she can't handle it, then she's madly insecure. Like, you know, and not insecure in a good way. You know what I'm saying? Because sometimes they're all women have insecurities, but

It depends on how, like, what level that shit is. And also how far... I'm just also getting, basing this off of my situation before. Like, how long ago did she... Or...

How far up did she read text messages where she's found out something? Because if it's like recently... Old or recent, yeah. And it's nothing, but she found out later on that they did mess around. Or if she went back and they messed around before. Like a couple years ago. And now y'all just cool and shit. I would want to know that too. That would make me leave a person. Because maybe you was withholding that because...

Now I get what you're saying because you don't want to spark nothing up. But what if we go on and get married and shit and you got me around this bitch? I just want to know. I want to know everything. That's the whole point of having a partner and just keeping that shit open. I don't know. What was the advice? Fuck, I'm all over the place today. You just gave them two scenarios. Scenario A or B. Make sure you update us and let us know what the hell happened. We need to know what the sex said, man.

All right. We've come to yet the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious and my girl Tay Tay. Okay. Say thank you, Taylor. Thank you. Not you. Them. Say thank you. Lord. All right. We'll see y'all next week. Taylor, I'm telling you, when I say thank you, it's for them. Oh. We said say thank you, Taylor. No, I said say thank you, Taylor. Oh, to the people who listen. Oh, okay. Got it. Thank you, Taylor.

We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan, or Joe Ho. And we are the Black Fat Film Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat, this year we have had some of our favorite people on, including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross, and more.

Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Femme Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, girl. Ooh, I know that's right. Hey, y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop.

Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history. Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. Did you know, did you know?

Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

While this podcast might be keeping you from being distracted, here's something to level up your focus. I'm Amantha Imber, host of the podcast How I Work. It's a show where I interview some of the world's most successful people and uncover how exactly they construct their days. From how to combat a scrolling addiction to morning rituals and productivity hacks, we explore how some of the best stay disciplined and manage their time effectively.

where ambition meets inspiration, search for How I Work on the free iHeart app or in whatever podcast app you're listening to.