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Girl, Bye!

2023/10/4
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Carefully Reckless

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Jess Hilarious
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Jess Hilarious: 本节目讨论了双性恋女性在婚姻中寻求三人行,以及伴侣出轨的问题。Jess认为,虽然妻子主动提出三人行,但她最终的目的是为了满足自身需求,并且在丈夫拒绝后没有及时制止事情进一步发展。然而,丈夫最终出轨才是问题的核心,妻子不应该为丈夫的背叛承担主要责任。Jess强调婚姻中忠诚的重要性,无论性取向如何,都应该忠于伴侣。她还指出,性取向既有先天因素,也有后天选择因素,不能简单地将责任归咎于一方。 听众: 听众认为Jess对来信中双性恋女性的建议有所偏差,因为Jess没有完全理解双性恋女性的处境。听众认为Jess将责任完全归咎于妻子,而没有考虑到丈夫的责任。听众认为丈夫应该为自己的行为负责,不应该将责任推卸给妻子。听众还指出,丈夫拒绝三人行的原因可能与其过往的感情经历有关,这可能是导致他出轨的原因之一。听众认为Jess的观点过于偏袒妻子,没有充分考虑丈夫的感受和行为动机。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode begins with Jess reflecting on her recent break and the end of the writer's strike, emphasizing the importance of fair compensation in the industry. She then transitions to a listener's voice note critiquing her advice on a previous episode, discussing the complexities of being bisexual in a marriage.

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Oh shit, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Listen, when I say, oh shit, we on the air, you know who I remind myself of? Nick Cannon. Y'all remember that shit every time a Wild N' Out episode is about to come on. He'd be like, oh shit, we on the air?

Hey, yo, that reminds me of Nick every time I do that. I just said it one day and was like, Nick Cannon used to do that shit. But yeah, shout out the big Nick, not the little one. We're going to jump straight in, y'all. I had taken a week off. It was a lot going on, y'all. It was a lot going on. A lot of big opportunities, a lot of great opportunities. Congratulations to myself and other

writers and actresses as well. The writer's strike is over. We still got some things to wait for because the actors are not completely off the hook yet. But congratulations to all the writers, including myself, my brother Desi, a lot of writers that I do know because the strike is over. And y'all, that is a really, really big thing. It's a really serious thing. I think you

And everybody who knows how serious it is, these writers and these people in, you know, in the industry who feel like they're underpaid and they don't get paid for their work, you know, they don't get paid enough. And some of them don't get paid shit. You know, all these great films that you guys love and you guys watch and all these great shows and stuff like that. It's a lot of great writers behind these films, these projects that are not getting paid, you know, what they're worth, you know. So that's what the writer's strike is about, amongst other things, but that works.

is mainly what it's about. And now they trying to introduce the AI and shit, which is scary as fuck because that means no human being will be able to have a job when it comes to that type of shit because they have computers. You know what I'm saying? So that's why I pray every single day against AI

everything that's trying to, you know, just kill off humanity and just stop us from living and stop us from, you know, working and everything that we need to do, you know, to provide for our families and shit like that. So let's jump straight in. That's just a little a little gem I wanted to drop in your ear. Here we go. Oh, y'all, we got voice notes. Y'all know I'm hype as shit. Voice notes, voice notes. Y'all listen. Jess.

OMG, Jess, listen. Okay, so start this off. I don't have an update about my situation other than I did take your advice regarding the communication piece. That has all been worked out. No longer an issue. So that's not what this is about.

Girl, what I want to talk to you about today is I actually feel like I need to check you just a little bit. And let me explain what I mean by that. Please do. I was just listening to your bye-bye baby episode. And I have a few things that I want to say to you that I think you need to know because as awesome as most of the advice is,

that you give is you missed the mark on this one, shawty. Well, what you got to say, baby? Yeah, you totally missed the mark on this one, and let me explain to you why. Well, bitch, go ahead. So, I have experienced...

in the arena that the young lady that sent you the message was as far as her being bisexual and being married. Now, to my knowledge, you are none of those things. So I feel like the advice you gave was kind of one sided because you don't understand the full dynamic.

So this young lady, from what I heard, married her husband, married a man, but still had cravings for females that he was not, he can't meet, he's not a woman. So she wanted to have the threesomes, once every other month was not enough. I agree with you in the fact that that's a little greedy. I mean, to each their own, you know what I'm saying? I'll never shame somebody for...

their sexual preference or desires or sex drive or whatever they got going on. Never will I do that. But just for myself personally, like I've always known that I was bisexual since a kid. I actually was attracted to females before males. And so now I myself personally, of course, I am always going to be attracted to females. That's just who I am. So what? Well, let me explain what bisexual means is.

It simply means I am equally attracted to men and women. I can fall in love with each. I can have sex with each. I don't see any difference there. I love people, period. This is what I know. Because there's only two types of them. It does not mean that you are always craving one or the other. Like, as you know from my previous story, I've been with my husband now for 11 years.

I'm still attracted to females. I still see a fat ass and look at it. We look at them together. You know what I'm saying? That still attracts me. That still turns me on. But I don't have the desire or the yearning, I guess you can say, or an insatiable appetite for women.

I am more than satisfied, you know, with my husband and our sex life is very active. Girl, you better get to it because it don't sound like you saying much of anything different than what the fuck I said. So you better get to it.

Cool. I don't have no issues there. But that doesn't take away the fact that I am attracted to and will always be attracted to women because that's just who I am. Bisexual. The same way that even though I'm married, I still find other men attractive. You know what I'm saying? They still look good to me. If I see a nice chest, I might feel a little tingle. So the difference here is when you're in a committed relationship, married or otherwise,

No matter who you're attracted to and who you have cravings for, you make that decision to stay committed to the person you are with. Regardless to if you are having feelings for the opposite sex and feel like your needs are not being met or whatever the case may be, you still need to make that decision to be faithful.

So in this young lady's case, it sounds like to me that the man just wasn't enough for her and that's her truth. And she explained that to her husband. And what really appalled me about your response to her is you placed all of the blame on her for introducing the other woman into the situation.

And not holding him not one bit of accountable for the fact that one, here's his first mistake, thinking that he could be everything to her. That sounds real egotistical and chauvinistic for one. Because no matter how good you are in the bed, you cannot change somebody's makeup. Being bisexual is not a choice. That's not something you just choose one day. That's who you are.

Simple as that. It is who you are. You can't explain it. I can't explain why I'm attracted to women, why they turn me on. I just know that I am. The same way I can't explain why I'm attracted to men. I just know that I am. Listen, listen, listen. So I'm going to correct you right there. And mind you, I'm not checking you. And I need you to know you ain't checking me either. You're just trying to educate me on something you think I don't know about. So that's not checking somebody. That's just you checking.

having a different opinion and then also attempting to educate me on something. So I think you need to go back and listen to Bye Bye Baby, Miss Ma'am, because I did not place all of the blame on her. I said that. In fact, I said he was wrong for even thinking that he could be everything that she needed if she went into the relationship slash marriage to

telling him all the facts about her sexuality preference. Like she's bisexual, she's been bisexual. And you can also choose that. I know bisexual people that has chosen to be bisexual.

They have chosen that. OK, you may feel that you were born that way. That's you. Everybody don't feel that way. Some people have the right to choose and some people do choose to be bisexual because that's what they want to be after a while. All people aren't born that way.

I don't believe, just like I don't believe all people are born gay. And the reason why I say that is because I know gay people and bisexual people who became that way. I know both who became that way. Some people I know...

Were born that way. They feel they were born that way. And some people became that way. So, yeah, you can speak for yourself, ma'am. And you can't help me fix nobody else mess. How you going to come to me to fit girl? All right, let's finish. Let's finish. Let's finish. Hold up. Hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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You know, nothing happened in childhood that turned me that way. There's no, you know, trauma or anything. That's you. Nothing of that sort. That's just how I always have been. Right. That is how she always will be. So it was the husband's fault, first and foremost, thinking that his dick gang so good that he was going to fuck her out of being bi.

That's just unrealistic and immature to think that way. But I'm saying, how do you know that's all he was thinking? This ain't no little, this wasn't just his, like a fling. You talking about he thought he had like the most amazing dick that could change. Nah, this is his wife, ma'am. This is somebody that he wanted to marry. So I think it was more about dick, more about him just having this awesome piece of pole. You know what I mean?

Like it could have been I'm a love her this way or the way I look at her or the way I hold her to a high standard or it could have been everything else, including dick. But I don't think he was just thinking that he could just fuck her out of being bisexual. I don't think that or he wouldn't have went so far to marry her if it was just all about his dick. But continue.

You cannot change someone's orientation. There have been enough studies about that to prove like the little gender reassignment stuff, not reassignment, but the, um, the little, uh, therapies that, you know, psych wards and stuff used to do to try to, uh, conversion therapy and all that. It doesn't work. You can't change who you are attracted to. You simply cannot. So that that's the first mistake. That was his mistake there.

So then, so Shorty, you know, gets the green light, you know, on the threesome situation. You know what I'm saying? They're having their threesomes, you know, and I completely, I do agree with you, you know, on the fact that, you know, she introduced this and maybe she should have just, when he said, no, just let that be that. And she kind of pushed it. So I agree with you there, but this is, this is the thing.

She was open and honest with him about how she was feeling and wanted to find a remedy to where she could, you know, get her satisfaction that she needed with him being included. She could have went and cheated. She could have had a homegirl that she was fucking on the side when they go out for brunch. You know what I'm saying? Like she could have done it the other way and he would have been none the wiser.

But she didn't. She honored her vows and was honest with her husband about what she wanted and what she needed. And he eventually gave in.

He is the one who took it a step further, stepped outside of their union and decided to continue with this female outside of her. That was dishonest. Yeah, it was dishonest. But when you get into all it is, I need someone else type of bullshit, then this is what happens, ma'am. This is what happens. Whether you're bi, straight, gay, whatever.

If you're married, be married to that one motherfucker. Do something, do everything with that one motherfucker. Until you're able to be with one motherfucker, you got to be single.

Or be poly or whatever. That's it. That was dishonest. That was disloyal. That was sneaky. So yes, I understand now he got this new poom poom that he'd been in after being with hers for four years. So it's new. Probably feel a little different. Like you said, he didn't got time to learn the girl's body. All of that. All of that is true. Not taking nothing away from what you said on that. All of that is true. But the fact still remains that she was honest with him, open with him, introduced it to him, with him, and

he stepped outside of that and decided to do his own thing outside of that. How is that her fault? Yes, she introduced the female, but it is him who made the choice to dishonor his vows. Mm-hmm.

So the fact that you're blaming her for that can be even furthermore traumatizing on top of this situation of her just being, feeling betrayed. I also do agree with you that, you know, the first time that she had a little side eye situation when he was getting too close. I agree with what you're saying. I'll let you continue because that was the middle of a thought. I did not solely blame her for him sneaking out. I mean, for him sneaking.

Fucking the girl by himself. But okay, I'll let you continue. She absolutely should have checked it and nipped it in the bud at that point. Like, okay, hubby, I appreciate you, you know, obliging me in this request. But I feel like you and the third party is getting a little closer than I would prefer for y'all to be. So, you know, I'm cool on that. That's what I would have done. You know what I'm saying? First, I'm not having no threesome with my husband. Oh, I know you're not. That's what I would have done. So she should have checked it right then. You are absolutely correct.

Bisexual or not, I bet you won't, right? Because you don't want to be another one writing me about an incident like that that happened and then now I got to fix your mess. Yeah, you wouldn't be. So that should exclude this whole shit that you're writing me about because you would never do those things, right? And you're bisexual yourself, something that you'll never not be, right? Something you didn't choose to be. These were your words, not mine. But it's just who you are.

And even with that being who you are, you would never bring another woman in the bedroom with you and your husband. Why? Because you made a conscious decision to commit to one person, whether that be man or woman, to one person. Right. So, right. This excludes everything. This really just excludes everything that you're saying. But OK. She should not have stood back and just let it be.

But the fact that he is sneaking around with this female is not OK. You're right. And that is not her fault. I agree. So I kind of see it from another point of view. I feel like the reason why the husband may have been so adamant and not wanting to do it to begin with was because we don't know his past. Is he a known cheater?

You know what I'm saying? Is this something that he is known for doing? Is that a part of his past? Oh, girl. Is he had a problem with keeping just one female? Oh, girl. Come on. Now we not about to do that. We definitely not about to do that. The nigga said no. He said no. Not not you. You offer your husband a threesome and the niggas say no.

So now you want to dig into why he's saying no is because he may be a cheater. He may be scared to dive into something like this because he know he can't just be with one woman. Come on, girl. Come on. Come on. Let's cut it out. Let's cut it out. It sounds like to me that you don't think that she needs to be held accountable for anything. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like that you want to make this possible.

From her fault to his fault when they both share faults. That's what it sounds like that you putting this more on him. What's going on with your past? Like, did this trigger you in any way? Has your man cheated on you before? Because now I'm about to have to fix some more mess for you, I feel like. What is going on? Are you projecting because of this story? What is happening? Because that's some bullshit.

And being with just one female and maybe in the back of his mind, he knew that this was going to open up that can of worms again and he wasn't going to be able to stop his. This is how people get single. You know what I'm saying? We got to consider that. We don't know. Oh, my God. We got to. Now it's a we. You ain't helping me fix nobody mess, ma'am. You don't need to help me. You're you're totally biased. Like and I think it's because you're bi.

That's how I feel. Like you're taking a biased stance because you are bisexual as well as this woman. But see, that's why it's good for me to fix the mess because I'm neither. Like you said, I'm not married yet and I'm not bi ever. So that's why I can never be biased. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.

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I tell it like it is, like I see it, whether this woman is straight, gay, trans, whatever. Everybody gets the same advice no matter what, you know, no matter what their preferences, their sexuality. It doesn't matter. You get everybody's going to get the same type of advice depending on the situation. Like what?

background you know i'm saying the fact that he was so cocky enough to feel like he could be her everything and she wouldn't need how was he cocky lets me know that says to me that he feels very highly about himself so how do we know as you're supposed to a connoisseur of multiple women in the past and you know maybe settled down when he met her and now she done introduced him to what he was used to in the past and he was remembering how much he likes having more than one poom poom

Yo, you are delusional. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Baby girl, you are making, you see how you just said dad made up a whole story about this man's back history, about his life. Like you made up a whole backstory about this man's life.

You don't even know. Like, what are we talking about here? Look, I hope for damn sure you got everything going on right in your fucking love life. Because, baby, the way you just sat here and made this whole shit up has me wanting to reevaluate what I told you. You know what I'm saying? So my whole point is, I understand your point about her introducing the other female to him.

But she did it openly and honestly with him, in commitment with him, in conversation with him. Yeah, you're traumatized too by something. He, on the other hand, snuck and did something behind her back. Right. Whether she introduced the female or not, he was the one that's been lying and has been disloyal. Well, that's why you don't do shit like this. He went outside of her.

So whether she introduced it or not, once again, she was open, honest and brought it to the forefront. He's hiding shorty in the background. That's not right. Point blank, period. So just another point of view from someone who is bisexual and married. Right. So I definitely am going to have a different take on it than you do.

And we can, you know, agree to disagree, but I would want you to just think about those points that I brought up. And I'm not going to lie, I stopped the bye-bye baby at nine minutes and two seconds because it was too triggering for me. Right, exactly. That's what we're talking about. Exactly. Baby girl, look. Even listen to you continue to...

absolve him of his wrongdoing and put all the blame on her. That's not right. Well, how the fuck can you even be sitting here writing me and make sure this is your last message to me? Because to be honest with you, I ain't about to go back and forth with your ass because I know the next bulk of messages you're going to send me ain't going to be so pretty. And I ain't got time for none of this shit. Like, for real. Girl, look.

You sitting here criticizing me about some advice that I gave to someone that's also bisexual just like you and you ain't even get past nine minutes of it. Girl, fuck out of here. I'm going to let you finish this because I need to finish this episode. Let this be your last time even reaching out to me. That's some bullshit. So,

So that's pretty much it. I hope you listen to this. If you use it for one of your podcasts, that's cool. If not, that's cool as well. I just really wanted to talk directly to you on that because I just wanted you to kind of maybe try and think of it from another point of view.

Because, yeah, he's wrong. He's the one that stepped outside of the marriage. That's wrong. Point blank, period. So keep doing your thing, girl. I'm going to keep listening. I love you. You sure? Thank you. Have a good day.

Oh, girl, I love you too, but I can't talk to you no more, baby, because this is crazy. This is crazy. And I don't even like giving up on people. I don't like doing that. I don't like that. Because it's not about her challenging me. It's about her not even completing listening to the fucking episode. Like, you stopped at nine minutes. The episode is like 25 minutes. Are you fucking crazy?

You don't know how it ended. You don't know what, you don't, that's why, that's why you don't even know what the fuck blame I placed on him because you stopped too fucking early. And now you over here getting me worked up. You crazy as shit. Now I know how Judge Mathis be feeling and shit. Man, I know that was random and shit, but I know how he be feeling. People come up in this courtroom thinking they know every fucking thing and they gotta, well, since you got your fucking degree.

And you know every fucking thing. You should not ever have to ask Jess to fix no more motherfucking mess. Don't ever hit me back up again. She just pissed me off.

Trying to educate me about something that I already know about, baby. It's just the difference between you and I is that you actually live a bisexual life. I don't. I know exactly what it is, how it works, and what the fuck happens. Like, I know. I know exactly what it is. It ain't much.

Is you like both. That's it. Bye. Bye is two. You like both sexes. That's it. You're attracted to both men's and women's. That's it. At all times. It's never a time where you're not attracted to both. Whether you're married or not. I got that. Already knew that. What else? You supposed to give me an update on your shit. Not give me an update on your shit and then tell me how I could have fixed somebody else's mess better. Girl, please.

I'm so pissed for her. She took up a whole fucking episode and she better listen to this shit and listen to more than nine minutes of you. I ain't give up on listening to your long ass messages. And that was about 15 minutes worth of message that I had to listen to. I ain't give up on your ass and I didn't want to hear what the fuck you had to say after a while. But I still listened because I don't do people like that.

Shit. And I know I said I don't want to talk to your ass no more, but you better update me because I don't know why the fuck you even play with me like that. And this is the end of this episode, y'all. Bye. I'll talk to y'all next week. And in my deepest pan, boys. Peace.

I'm not gonna stop.

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