Heartbreak Kid
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And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Now listen, I have something to vent to you guys about because support means everything to me, especially when it comes from my family, my closest friends, which there aren't really a lot of, but especially my family, my bloodline, most importantly, my parents.

Okay. So I had a big show. I had a big show at the MGM Grand in National Harbor. That's the DMV. That's Oxon Hill, Maryland, right near DC. Right. That's still considered Maryland. So that's still what I consider a big part of my home. You know, DMV, I'm from Baltimore. So we all together, I don't give a fuck who get offended on this shit about this shit, whatever. When it comes to outsiders, we're all together.

So Baltimore shows and DC shows are the two biggest shows that I have of the year. So this MGM show that I just did March 27th, that was about two, three weeks ago. I sold it out. I sold it out the year before that. I sold it out the year before that. And the year before that, this is my fourth time selling out MGM National Harbor. I received a plaque saying,

With my name, my face, and a coin for every year that I've sold it out, that I've played on this stage. They had my mother present the plaque to me at the end of my set.

When I tell you that made me feel so fucking good to look up and see my mother, who's always had stage fright, except for in church. You know, everybody shy until they get in church and they want to stand up and shout and all that. But not. My mom is a deacon in the church. She was raised in the church and she raised me and my brother as well in the church. And she's still in the church, still is a devoted believer in God, like a woman of God.

And this past year has been one of the hardest, but also the most victorious years for my mother. Celebrating a divorce. She was married to my father for 30 plus years before I was born. And we've got to live our lives. Me and my brother got to live our lives together.

our child lives, you know, as our childhood, we got to have our parents together. Although we're just finding out now that they weren't happy as, you know, when we were kids, they weren't as happy as they thought, as they wanted us to think. But they kept us out of that. They kept us out of that shit. And they just decided a year ago to divorce my mom. It was actually my mom's decision. You know, infidelity, lies, cheating, all that shit. You know, when that shit just stacks up on you and shit.

You get fed up, you get tired. Years and years and years of it, you get tired of it. And you have to start living for yourself because we're grown now. So you can't live for us no more, mom. You can't live for him because he ain't been living for you. You got to live for yourself. So my mom has this glow about her, most beautiful woman that I know in my life. She's one of the hardest working women as well.

Beautiful. Fucking beautiful. I'm hype up my baby. That's my baby. My mom is my baby. And in that moment, me seeing her with this newfound confidence and this beauty,

sashaying across that stage in that white track suit talking about, I know why y'all love my baby. And I'm so happy that y'all love my baby. And I just want to thank y'all for making her help make her the star who she is. And, you know, she gave me a wonderful speech. And honestly, can y'all believe that Jessica Robin Moore did not cry? I did not cry. And y'all know I'm such a cry baby, but I didn't cry. You know, I was just, I felt so liberated in the fact that

Not only another Black woman is presenting me this plaque, but the Black woman who had a hand in creating me, who birthed me. You understand? That was a moment for me. And while I had that moment, while I felt so liberated and just accomplished and at one of my milestones and winning what I'm sure is just one of many plaques I'm going to receive in my near future.

I was saddened in the same moment because my father wasn't there to be on that stage right next to her presenting me that plaque. Now, y'all not together. I get it. Y'all not together. But y'all both are still my parents. Nothing about a divorce is going to change that. Nothing about a separation, a breakup is going to change the fact that I have two parents alive and both well.

And you were able to come. The excuse that my father gave me for not being there was because he didn't want to run into my mom's new boyfriend. Nigga, what? What? I ain't ready to just see her with somebody else. But what? Nigga, are you crazy?

But she had to see you before the ink even dried with another woman. Not just one, two women. You was back and forth between two women that my mom had to see you with. Like I said, the ink wasn't even dry, nigga, on the divorce papers. Let's take it even a step before that, before a divorce. You was still creeping and doing all of this shit. You know what I'm saying? But you, with your selfish butt ass, can't bring...

Yo ass to your daughter's show. This ain't my mom's show. It's my show. Now, my dad already don't come to my shows. You know, I expected this. But what I didn't expect was to feel some type of way about it. I'm telling you, me and my dad, we're so much alike. We're kind of like, I'm not going to say cold hearted because we're really good people.

But sometimes we can be very unfair in ways and we can be so selfish in our own way, you know, and I get that part from my dad. And I honestly just really thought that I wasn't going to feel anything about it because I don't expect him to come to shows, any show. It don't matter to me. I've been stopped caring about that shit a long time ago. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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Now, backstory. All y'all know my dad was literally my best friend. Like he used to be my best friend. I used to be closest with my dad. You know, that kind of changed recently since the divorce. My father felt like when my mother divorced him, so did I. No, I just didn't take your side. You wanted me to help you get this woman back and she's done. It was nothing I can do. It was out of my hands. I've watched you cheat on her before. I've watched it.

Even as a fucking kid. So like, this has been going on. What do you do when your favorite parent is your dad, but this nigga cheating on your mom? What, you gonna snitch? Some kids would say, yeah. My little nine, 10-year-old ass didn't. I wanted to keep that secret from my dad. So I did.

As an adult, I apologized about these things to my mom. I told her like, you know, she didn't blame me. I was a kid. All right, cool. But I definitely had to make that apology because I knew that it was wrong back then as well. But I also knew that I didn't want my dad to be pissed at me for going back, telling my mom some shit that could have got him kicked out the house or that could have brought us to this divorce way earlier.

I'm really just being a good, good kid, just trying to keep the peace, right? Now, fast forward back to today. Me and my dad talked about him coming. Me and my dad, he was supposed to bring my little sister. Now, mind you, I have a little sister that my dad had outside of the marriage, right?

He was still married to my mom, but yeah, that's how I have a little sister. That's his daughter. And my mom claims her just like she is my mom's biological daughter as well. So there's no love lost there. None of that shit. It took a while to get there, but we're there. We're all a good fucking family now. Everything is good. Everybody's good. The thing is...

My dad still feels some type of way. So he told me a few months ago, look, I'm moving to Boston. I got to start a ride. I can't live here. And it is what it is. Now, this is just the motions that you go through when you lose a good woman, you know, and it's your fault. And I get that. So I'm not going to keep beating up on him. But no, I didn't want him to go.

I expressed to my mom this shit. She didn't want him to go either. Not even the fact that, oh, I miss you and we may work things out just because, yo, we got kids here. Your life is here. Your family's here. You got a sick mom. My grandmother has dementia. Why the fuck would you leave? And even if you take her up there, you still got to work, but you're going to put her in a home all the way in Boston. It don't make sense. So you're still making decisions selfishly. You know, you got more to live for than just you. It's always been about you all your life.

Like, nah, let it be about family. Practice...

caring about others a little bit more. I talked to this man up until show day, he was coming. So my mom is the one that told me, because he actually expressed to my mom, like, I don't feel comfortable coming, knowing that your man is going to be there. I'm not ready to see you with somebody else yet. She felt like that was selfish, but she told him, okay, I respect it. You're going to have to tell your daughter yourself. That's not something I can tell her for you. You have to tell her because she thinks you're coming to the show. He told her that he would tell me. He never called me and told me anything.

So after the show and everything, that shit hit me the next day. I cried. It's my nigga, man. You supposed to be my nigga. Like, you know, me and my dad went through a rough patch as well after the divorce. But we got back. We good. We not like we used to be. And after him missing this shit, I don't think that we ever will.

And I really would love to, for the life of me, be the same boo-boo to him. Like, because that's what he calls me, boo-boo. But I feel so fucking betrayed. Like, you're so selfish. You can go around just hurting people any fucking way you want to, any and everybody, at your convenience. But because you ain't ready to see somebody in your eyesight, you ain't ready to see somebody with your now ex-wife, nigga, who you thought would never leave your ass for all the shit that you've done.

Now I got to suffer for that. I don't care. I don't care. I got to suffer for that now, right? Huh? It's bad enough you don't come to no fucking shows. And what do I do? You ask me all the time. Support my karaoke thing. My dad's a DJ. Oh, support this. Support that. Throw this up. Tell us that, you know, post this. Try to get me more people, more clients and all that. And I do that shit. I do that shit.

I do it. Do I have to? No. You're my dad. I'm going to do it. I want to keep money in your pockets just like I keep money in my mom's pockets. Just like I keep money in other family members' pockets. Just like I'm paying bills for other people too. And just like I got to pay my own. I take care of my son. I take care of a lot of people around me. A lot of people that depends on me. And I'm depending on you just to show up. All I want you to do is show up.

That's all I want you to do. Now listen, while my dad never asked me for no money, never. My dad never asked me for shit. Since I've been famous, my dad only asked me for a pair of fucking Pumas. I'm going to give it to him on that. He ain't ever, ever come to me with his hand out. He ain't ever. In fact, he hates to see other people use me. That's one thing about him. He ain't never been like that.

I remember a time my dad, he was in between jobs and he was really going through it. He couldn't pay bills. My mom was handling everything. You know, she's a business owner. My mom's an entrepreneur. She has her own preschool. Been had it for years. So it's something about a man not being able to provide for his family, man. That man was literally about to kill himself.

He was suicidal in this moment. He just could not make shit shake. But what saved him was the fact that he would be leaving us here. He would be leaving us here to really have to fend without him. But I remember my mom telling me that because that's something that he never would even want his kids to know that he was about to kill himself. He was contemplating checking the fuck up out of here because he couldn't provide for us.

Those moments, those fucking moments. And I thank God that I still have my dad. But do I really got you? It's like, yo, when my mom divorced him, he divorced us. And when I say us, I mean me and my son. My son used to spend so much time

with my fucking dad, bro. Like they look alike. If you are avid Jessalaries fans and watchers and listeners and viewers and shit, you know my son look more like my dad than his dad, period. Like that shit is crazy. You know what I'm saying? Now I ain't got the most functional family. And in fact, it's a bunch of dysfunction going on. My biological brother, Kevin, who y'all never see,

We either beefing or we all right. We just mutual. We just cordial and shit. But that's my man's too. We just never see eye to eye ever. I wish we could. We can't. You know, he has an anger streak. That shit is just built up for whatever reasons, you know. My mom, my dad, I really, really want them to be like how me and my son's dad are.

That's going to take years and years and years if that ever happens. But that shit hurt me to my core. The fact that my dad still didn't even apologize to this fucking day for not coming, for not missing because he don't really feel like nothing is wrong. He going to tell my little sister, I can just fly out to another show. Nigga, don't come to nothing. Don't come to none of them.

And I won't show up to your karaoke shit no more. Even though that's my favorite thing to do in the world is to get on the mic and really act like I can sing. And y'all know that I can a little bit, but I'll never be at one of them again. That fucked me up as your daughter, you know, somebody that you was really, really close to. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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Now, my dad told me that he was going to start getting them on Sundays because I stressed to him before. Like, I previously told him, like, look, dad, I feel like you give us the short end of the stick because mom divorced you. It's like, you don't see me. You don't see Ash. You don't really give a fuck about calling them or none of that shit. Like, nothing. My son needs his grandfather. Seriously. He really only has one act of one in his life. And that was you. Like, come on, bro. Like, where you at?

My son always asks about him. He used to ask about him way more when the divorce first went down. But, you know, kids be like, all right, whatever. You know, nah, that's your grandfather. The fuck? He used to look forward to every Saturday football with my grandfather. Football with Pop Pop. That's what he looked forward to. He don't see you. You don't call him. None of that shit. So, what's up? But you'll go out there.

With Kevin, Kevin is my brother. You'll go out there with your son and his girls. You'll see his daughters. You know what I mean? You'll see your grandkids, your other grandkids. Why is it? Because you feel like I took mommy's side? Because honestly, this shit kind of divided everybody. My brother took his side. I took my mom's side. The side that's in all fairness if somebody's tired of getting fucking cheated on. That's what I took.

I also did tell my mom, you allowed a lot of this shit too, but I'm not going to beat up on you. No more than you already been getting beat up this whole goddamn marriage. Not physically, but mentally, emotionally. All that shit is painful. All of that shit, all the neglect and all that.

So it kind of separated. It's a drover wedge between the whole family. All right, cool. But is that why my son gets the short end? So my mom's like, all right, well, can you watch Ashton for the show since you ain't coming to the show? He like, oh, no, I got a birthday party to DJ. Why do I find out that the birthday party that you DJ is your girlfriend's grandson? So it's a kid's party, nigga. Why the fuck my son couldn't come? Why couldn't he come? That shit makes no sense. It makes no sense ever.

It'll never make sense to me. So I sent them a nice long text message. Like, look, yo, I didn't even think this shit would bother me, but it does. It's real selfish and real fucked up that you only think about yourself and that you really only, you know what I'm saying? Like you, you, I didn't even get a congratulations, a call. You text me the next day and was like, congratulations on your plaque. I said, thanks. Kept it moving.

That shit hurt even worse. You ain't even call me. You ain't call me to say, yo, I'm sorry I ain't come. Nothing. You didn't do nothing. So then he called me, but I was around my mom. So I didn't want to seem phony or nothing. I said, I'll call you when I get home. He was like, all right, cool. I ain't never call him. I didn't. But you think he called me back? Nah. He just started texting me the next day like nothing ever happened. He sent me pictures of him looking nice. I said, oh yeah, you look nice, dad. He said, you look amazing too, babe. I said, okay, cool. That's it.

That's it. We ain't talked since then. But that's the problem with me and this family. Like my family, like me and him, we always do that. Like we never talk about shit. I'll send him a message. He'll know he's wrong. He ain't gonna say sorry about it. He's gonna keep on going. And when he see me, nothing ever happened. Nah, I don't fuck with you for that. That's fucked up to me. And he will literally act like nothing happened. Gonna call my mom like, I did tell her I wasn't going. No, you didn't, nigga. You lying.

You lying. And lying for what? I'm 30 years old. I'm 30 now. I'm saying that proudly. That means I'm not a little ass kid. You can't just tell me anything no more. You can't just lie on me and shit no more. You can't.

I didn't know because you didn't tell me you wasn't coming because I would have gladly and proudly expressed how the fuck that would have made me feel when you saying that shit to me in that moment. And that's why you didn't tell me. But it's all good. Listen, the moral of this shit before I get out of here is to show up for people. Please show up for people the same way you want to be showed up for the same fucking way.

Because that's how they're going to remember you. Oh, that motherfucker had a lot of shit with him. But look, that nigga always showed up for me. I just always was talking about people, whatever, whatever. But that bitch showed up for everybody she loved. Look, she might not. She may have done this. She may have done that. But she was a loyal motherfucker who always showed up for her people.

her family, her close friends, everybody. So make sure you keep that in mind and make sure you check on those people that you showing up for. Make sure they good. You know, even if it's something that you can't do for them, a simple, how you doing? You good? You feeling good? Or I'm sorry, I couldn't make it. I seen that you got a plaque. I just wanted to call you and congratulate you. Even if you can't show up sometimes.

Make it your business to show why, to tell somebody why. A fucking congratulations card face-to-face would have been better than a fucking text message and some bitch-ass emojis. Come on, man. That shit don't mean nothing to me. We're better than that. I'm your daughter, and it don't look like that shit going to change.

It can't change. I can't stop being your child. You lost your wife. You didn't lose none of your kids. So you remember that. And it's just like that, y'all. We come to yet the end of another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Tune in every Wednesday, 7 a.m., hump day. Also, tune in to Reckless Discussions. We got one dropping in about 12 hours, y'all. Make sure y'all tune in on YouTube with me and my crazy-ass family. Reckless Discussions. Love y'all. Peace. ♪

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GD.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

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