Help Me Again!
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

Oh shit, we on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. Cause what I be doing, I be fixing mess, y'all. Alright, let's get straight into it. We got a juicy story today. We don't have any voice memos. We just got straight words, y'all. This person wrote me a book, but it's finna be good. Listen. Jess, I'm back. Damn. Jess, I'm back. And

And yeah, I really need your help. Thank you again. Okay, so right now me and my ex have been dealing with each other on and off for about four years. And yes, the question you're probably wondering, was it his fault? Yes, it's his fault every time. I haven't saw him in about three months until recently. I invited him to my hotel for a drink. I don't know why I did it.

I mean, cause you missed him. You was probably already drinking and was like, shit, I need a little dicky dicky. So then you called him. Let me continue. I was just feeling spontaneous and I was bored. Okay. We sat in the lobby and literally talked for like five hours and it was very positive. Oh, y'all missed each other, honey.

It was like I was talking to a whole new person and I kind of was feeling him again. Oh, I know. That's right. That's what happened when you create time, when you put time in between you and a person or create space in between you and a person. It could be for the better. It could be for the worse. So they were talking for five hours. Okay.

So I invited him to stay. Uh-oh. And when I tell you the night was amazing, it was amazing. And I said amazing like that because she had all caps, y'all. We watched our favorite shows and movies and ordered our favorite food like we used to and also did shrooms. Oh, yeah. I know that sex was bomb.kiz on. Oh.

All right. He ended up going to sleep before me and leaving me up with a racing mind. Oh, yeah. When you want shrooms, y'all just want to let you know your mind wanders even when you don't want it to. That is a high you cannot control. So I know she was going through it. Wait, how the hell he go to sleep on some shrooms? Y'all must have had the bullshit shrooms because I can't ever go to sleep on shrooms. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Y'all let me know if y'all go to sleep on them. They leave me up for hours.

Girl, tell me why I saw him put the code in his phone earlier that day and reverted back to it that night. Oh, shit. And he was on shrooms. Oh, Lord, don't go through a nigga phone, for one. But don't go through a nigga phone on shrooms. And I decided to go through his phone.

I know what you're thinking. Yeah, bitch, you're crazy, but I don't care. I did it and I was happy I did it. I found out everything I needed to know. And I even found out what he was doing while we were still together. Oh, shit, girl, you went. How far back did you go? God damn. She said, listen, he was asleep and I was up shrooming, bitch. I had all the time I needed.

He was literally lying to me the whole time. I was crushed. And then, you know, I was on shrooms. So my mind was everywhere, which made me wake his ass up. And I told him when he get us off together, he needs to get the fuck out. He looked at me very confused. So I had to repeat myself. When you get yourself together, get the fuck out. And then this nigga acted like he didn't know anything I was talking about. I told him to open up his phone and go to his messages. Once he was done, he need to get the fuck out.

And I don't know what delusional type of shit he was on, but he proceeded to go to his messages like he didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and was just looking stupid and started crying. I didn't give a fuck. This literally took me back to the reason why we broke up in the first place. So my question to you is why are all these niggas clowns and why they be so in denial and delusional and liars? Oh my God.

This girl, this girl going to get me an award. I'm telling you, because she comes to me for her mess all the time, y'all. This is somebody. And I'm wondering, her life is always in some damn shambles. I'm trying to figure out why she don't write a goddamn book. She need to be helping fix mess. That's what she need to do, because she's been through a lot. And she seems very wise, because she goes through something every week. So, like, I find myself helping this girl every week. But I love it. Okay, so...

In all seriousness, first and foremost, I'm questioning why you would go through his phone if y'all technically wasn't together. You said you missed him. Y'all technically haven't even been together, seen each other in a while, you know, and this wasn't just somebody you was fucking with for a few months. This was an actual relationship. I remember your story before. This was an actual relationship.

you know, like for years and years, you know, and then y'all broke up for whatever reason. Of course, you told me that it was his fault. Okay. So you created a distance between you guys and put a lot of time and between you guys and people do change. We're going to stop

pushing that narrative like people don't evolve and people don't change and people don't stop cheating. I don't believe in that saying once a cheater, always a cheater. I don't. I also don't believe in once a liar, always a liar. I don't believe in that. We have to give people grace. You know, we have to extend that as the good brother Tyrese would say, in my opinion. Yes. If he wasn't your boyfriend, if you guys weren't actually together, you had no business going through his phone.

um i don't know if that's something that you guys are used to doing whether you guys are together or not but that that number one is a no-no for this reason one y'all weren't back together and then two you were shrooming

As an avid shroomer, I can tell you, you don't want to step foot in shit like that while you are on a shroom high because anything could have happened. Anything. Your mind wanders and then you start acting out of your full character. And I'm not trying to scare anybody away from doing shrooms because it's actually an enlightening psychedelic. And it's really good. It can open you up and it just opens your mind and it...

makes you become one with nature or whatever you, it helps you face your demons. It helps you actually get out any, anything that you have bottled up and you feel good about it. It's also a body high. So you're numb to a lot of shit and I'm really, really selling this shit here. This is, you know, but it, but shrooms are used for a bunch of different things across the world, but it's really, really good. It's, it's an enlightening, um, psychedelic. So,

I don't like to step in anything negative while I'm shrooming. And I know you as a female, you couldn't help it, you know? And then also y'all sit in that lobby and y'all talk for those five hours. Went down memory lane.

Came back as lovers after y'all came back from Emory Lane and y'all went upstairs and y'all did the goddamn do. But before y'all got there, it was just a rekindle, you know, a flame, an old flame. Y'all are each other's old flame, you know? So it's like, damn. And that happens. That happens more often than not. I want people to understand that. Like, it's okay reconnecting with an ex. It is. It really is. When it becomes not okay is when...

Y'all haven't gotten past whatever the reason may be that y'all are exes. If y'all didn't put everything out on the table and iron those kinks out, because that's honestly what y'all should have talked about. If y'all were planning to sleep together and you was planning to go through the phone, I think you just probably got a little carried away. You're just looking for something because, you know, as a woman, we can lay down with our ex and we can feel all that shit come back and we can say, oh, shit, I want you back. We can make a decision like, all right, I'm going to just fuck back with him.

but we get curious because we never got over what they did to us before, but we just love them so much. And in that moment, we don't give a fuck that you're mine right now in this moment. And everything good that we had is coming back because we're, we're really in a good mood right now. Yeah.

Y'all never talked about and ironed out the kinks of what happened to y'all before in that relationship. So you got a little carried away and you went through his phone, but you shouldn't have touched his phone if you weren't his girlfriend. But that's what that five hours of conversation did. That's what I was trying to say. I know it sounds like I'm talking in circles. Yeah, that's what that five hours of conversation was. Don't nobody just sit with somebody for five hours.

Like you say, you didn't even plan to sleep with him. You missed him. You know, you were bored. You said you were bored, but I think you missed him because when you're bored, there's so many other things to do when you're bored. You ain't got to call your ex. You know what I mean? But yeah, he doesn't owe you any loyalty now because you guys are not together. Now, I want to know this.

Say if he would have went through your phone, would he have found something? And you didn't put that in there. You didn't, you know, I don't know if you even will when you respond back or keep me updated. Would he be able to go through your phone and not see anything? Because then that's just us trying to have our cake and eat it too. You can't get upset about it.

at him about something that you're doing too because then it's a contradiction and you probably feel like well this don't pertain to me because he cheated first and this that and the other yeah but two wrongs don't make a right I know you heard that cliche saying you know I I know it sounds very cliche but it's it's the truth you know two wrongs don't make a right you need to tell me what do you want what do you want do you want to be back with him do you because you said it reminded you going through his phone reminded you when you saw whatever you saw of why you left

But y'all weren't together in that moment, you know, and I know you can go on and say, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. But that's why I can't trust them. You called them. You called them to come there to the hotel. Yeah, he was an ex for a reason. He is an ex for a reason. But you called him, you know, and has he been reaching out to you? Also, tell me, like, did he ever try to get you back when you left for what he did? Or, you know, has he ever stopped trying again?

Because it could be one or two things. He could have been on your line real heavy and you just gave in because you were sitting at the bar drinking. That's also a possibility, because if you went a long time without talking to him, you were just holding out as long as you could. You know, and I've been there, too, girl, getting away from somebody that I love so much because they don't treat me as good as as I deserve to be treated.

But we turn a blind eye to a lot of things that these men do, you know, because we want to be loved and we do love them, you know, so it is what it is. But in this situation, I would say you were absolutely wrong. But if this is something that you want, I think you guys should work at it. I think what you guys should do is meet up because it seems like it's still a lot of love there. And it seems like.

just the instant replay of the breakup but y'all wouldn't have found yourselves back in each other's presence if there was nothing else there to fix if you feel like it's worth fighting for I say y'all meet up y'all have a goddamn conversation y'all put everything on the table you tell him what you're doing you tell him I don't care if you got four or five niggas that you just entertaining right now you tell him that

You tell him that because you can't go through his phone and figure out every fucking thing he doing. And then he asks you about what you're doing and then you start lying. I've done that as well because we feel like what they won't know, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Because men take that shit a lot harder than we take it, to be honest, if we're being honest. I'm not saying all men, but in my experience, men take their exes dealing with other men or moving on way worse than we take it. They keep it bottled up. They keep it bottled up. They don't really show outward. They don't really show that shit. We're just emotional creatures as women, you know, um,

but guys, they, they have a hard time, uh, coping with that when somebody has moved on and, and heartbreaks and, and men have heartbreaks as well, you know? So,

So I think y'all should just lay it out on the table. You tell him what you're doing. He tell you what, I guess what you already know, because you done went through everything, girl. I know you done went through the DMs. You can't go through the messages without going to the DMs. You can't go through the DMs without going on Twitter and the messages. You can't check the Twitter without going into recent calls. You can't check the recent calls without going into FaceTime. I mean, if you don't have an iPhone, do you know, then I don't know how them Androids work, but that's how it work when you're going through a nigga iPhone, because I've been through more than I can even remember. So

So, yes, I know that. So, girl, you and then you was on them shrooms. I know you didn't check this nigga apps like I know you didn't. Girl, girl, you don't probably scroll through the context to see if he's storing a bitch's name under a nigga's name. Girl, I listen. I done done it all.

So I know you probably was checking to see if he got a text free app girl. Cause them niggas do that too. Um, but so do we, cause I've done that as well. Damn, I'm putting my business out there, but that's what I got to do to help y'all fix y'all mess. Cause I ain't squeaky clean. I ain't perfect Patty. I am not cookie cutter. Y'all know that.

So that's what I think. I think you should also write me back, update me again, you know, just letting me know if this is what you really want. Cause I think you do. You wrote me about this man before and I think you do. I just think that y'all are, y'all have grown to be very toxic and I still think that you can turn that around though. Y'all just have to be more communicative with each other and y'all have to be honest about everything. Honest. Even you, Missy, you

You know, you going around snooping and shit, playing private eye. If he start doing the same thing, it's a lot of things I'm pretty sure that he would find in your phone that would not make him happy. It doesn't matter who is the reason for y'all breaking up. You know what I mean? All that matters is that you still want this man somehow, some way. And so y'all have to come to a common ground, you know, and this is what happens.

made me leave you before I felt betrayed I felt although you weren't my boyfriend because I do think you owe him an apology for going through his phone although you weren't my boyfriend but I still think you owe him an apology with an explanation like yo that just triggered me because that triggered you I don't care what you that triggered you you were like oh shit because you said you had a flashback of why y'all broke up so that tells me that you're not healed and you don't trust him fully but that doesn't stop you from loving him

So you need to decide whether you're going to walk away from it altogether or if you're going to try to trust them because you can't say you can't get back with somebody that you didn't forgive for doing you wrong previously because then you're going to grow to hate them. And then, you know, it's not fair for either one of you. So keep me updated. Let me know what's going on because I need to know what's up. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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Moving on, we have another story. This one is also written. Hey, Jess. So me and one of my closest friends had a falling out right after I moved away. I had to move away because I met the man of my dreams and he works as a contractor. So he landed a big contract in Houston. I said contract. I said that real illiterate. And y'all heard. Y'all heard it too. I know y'all did. Let me say it over. Landed a big contract in Houston, which is where we now live.

Long story short, he proposed and I'm getting married soon, but still haven't spoken to my friend in a while. I'm torn. I wouldn't feel right getting married without her there by my side. I've reached out multiple times and I just have been left on read and she hasn't returned any of my calls. Wow. What the hell y'all fall out about Jesus? So I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should even invite her because she hasn't responded in a year. Damn.

The reason for the falling out is because I told her I would, okay, look, you about to answer my question. Good. The reason for the falling out is because I told her I would have to up and move to Houston from Ohio. And her and I planned to start a business together, as we always said we would do when we were younger. But things changed for both of our lives. Suddenly, what should I do? Okay. Okay.

So I see a lot of a lot of interesting parts about this story. I want to pick out. OK, so she's one of your closest friends. Oh, so you didn't say best friend. OK, but I'm just going to say you're a really good friend. I'll just say that. OK, y'all had a falling out and you moved away right after that.

And the falling out was because of your move. You were telling her that you had to just up and move to Houston because, you know, your boyfriend at the time, who was now your fiance, your boyfriend is this big contractor and he landed a really good, a big contract in Houston. So you had to move from Ohio to Houston. So you didn't even move down the street from your best friend, you know, from your good friend. You moved like miles and miles. And I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of miles away. You moved where she has to, she can drive, but she's,

you know, ultimately she would have to fly to you, you know, if she didn't want to drive, you know, so you didn't just move in Cincinnati and y'all niggas was living in Cleveland. Y'all moved, you moved far. Okay. And then you said, and then he proposed to you, um,

And congratulations. I love, love, I love wedding bells. I love all of that. So congratulations, Curly. But you went on to say you reached out even after the argument. I don't know. Did you wait to reach out? Did you reach out immediately when you got to Houston? I need a little bit more meat on the bone. I don't. These are the things I don't know. However, I still can, you know.

give you advice without all that meat, but I wanted to know how long did you wait to even hit her? You know, was it a long time? And then also, were you posting? Did she still follow you on social media? Were you able to see that she was watching you and your story? Now, you may not be a person to see, to go through views and see what's going on, but, you know, this is your good friend. And if you want to see if she's been

keeping track of you, but not just not reaching out to you or talking directly to you. That's what you do. You can go through. I mean, cause that would obviously state that she still cares, but she's just still angry. I think what it is, y'all been friends for so long and y'all had life plans as friends to do business together. You know what I'm saying? This reminds me of the movie bridesmaids. Um,

that I actually watched, one of my favorite movies, it was two best friends. One of them got married and was moving away. Actually moving further away than her best friend would have liked, you know, and they were supposed to

I don't quite remember if they were supposed to go into business together, but I know that they had plans to do things together just as best friends. And she kind of felt like her best friend was taken away from her abruptly. And we're not going to be able to be down the street from each other anymore. We're not going to be able to have these long, long, long conversations. You have a man now. So getting away from that movie, although it is real life,

your situation is very common. That's the point of me bringing up the movie. It's very common. So I think your best friend is just dealing with having to see you level up and it's, and, and also the, this is not me calling her a hater in a bad way. This is not me saying that she's jealous of you or she's envious or whatever. That may be the case, but it's not bad being jealous. Jealousy is not always bad. It's not, it's not, it's not that, um,

it's totally human to be jealous of someone that was very close to you who just took off when we were supposed to be building to take off together. You know, do you get what I'm saying? You kind of see my drift. It's nothing wrong with being honest enough to say, yo, I felt like,

You and I, and I don't know if your best friend, your good friend is ever going to tell you this or be honest enough with you about it. But you always like you left me here struggling. We used to struggle together. And although I'm not your responsibility and you don't have an obligation to stay here and struggle with me, if your life is presenting you blessings, if your life is presenting you blessings at a certain time, because both of you guys' journey are different.

You know, maybe she'll take off next year. Maybe, you know, this just happened to you in a different time. Maybe she'll meet the man of her dreams next year. Maybe she can get the business started on her own. Maybe, you know, maybe that was a test for her. You know, whose business idea was it? Maybe it was her idea for business and she thought that she would be doing it with you. But maybe she's going to do it on her own and it'd be even bigger than she had envisioned.

When it was supposed to be you two, everybody has their own path. But you seem to love her. You seem to miss her. And it's a very, very nice gesture and heartfelt to say that, yo, I can't get married if my girl ain't here. You know, I don't feel right getting married if my girl is not here. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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You can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains. Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

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So is making a trip back home to Ohio, you know, your old home, because Houston is your new home now, rightfully so. But is that something that you're opposed to actually going to fly and see her, going to fly to see her to have a conversation? Look, I'm in your face. I flew to you. You ignored me for a year. Yes, I up and left. My life is different. And so is yours, you know, such and such. Because you didn't tell me your name and I don't want you to. But...

Look, I'll just say Maggie. Look, Maggie, like we're friends. We're friends first. You know, I don't want you to feel like,

We can't talk about this. We've been through so much. I bet you guys have. You said she's been your closest friend for a long time. And y'all made plans when y'all were younger to be CEOs and bosses together. You know what I'm saying? This has obviously really affected her. And while you're off living your happily everlasting life, she's still, I guess, stuck at home dealing with the problems that she was dealing with when you left her.

If you can just have a little empathy for her and then go see her ass. Now, listen, if you don't want to totally, totally. I understand because now in your defense, come on, bitch, not a whole year. Come on now. That's what happened with me and April Jones when I was going through the shit with April.

That bitch ain't talked to me for almost a goddamn while. It's six months. It's six. Yeah, like six, like more than six months. It wasn't quite a year, but I think we was friends no more, bitch. I don't try after a certain amount. And me and April wasn't even childhood friends. I met her in L.A. and we hit it off. She had great energy. So did I.

And then, you know, things I just started seeing things that I didn't like. And, you know, I'm me being from a different place and I don't I never got fully acclimated to a place like L.A. So I I haven't been Los Angeles. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of people that move from their hometowns to L.A. become Los Angeles. And I just.

I, yeah, that's not me. It's like, they don't even know who the fuck they be no more. I don't, you know, I don't know if it's them running from something or, but a lot of people that move to LA be, I guess, Maddie turned into different people and they, they lose their fucking roots. And I literally have watched that. You know, it's just, it's just, I've gone through that, that same thing with a close friend, you know, go fly and see her.

Go fly and see her. Do that. Because even with me and April not being friends anymore and us falling out, I still could have flown to Chicago to go see her. She was going through some things. And I did and still do have my own life. You know, I had my own shit going on. But sometimes it is bigger than you. And sometimes you receive blessings when you just...

act selflessly. And I'm not selfish, but I just, I don't know. I wasn't wrong for not going and I don't feel like I was right for not going either. So, you know, but I think in this case, this is a bond from childhood.

And it can be saved, you know, her ignoring you and all that. She ain't disrespecting you. You know, I still disagree with letting a fucking year pass, but you don't know what she's been through in that year. So I would say ask your big contractor husband to get you a motherfucking flight and go fly and go see your friend.

And then update me and let me know what's going on, boo. I loved this story. I enjoyed it. It's very relatable. And I'm happy that I can relate to it and give you my own past experiences to kind of help you and kind of guide you. It'll all be okay. Again, congratulations on that beautiful wedding, girl. And if y'all need a host, I charge $30,000 off the rip since he's a big contractor. And just like that, we come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious.

who do what? I be fixing mess, y'all. And in my deepest pain voice, peace. See you next week. Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

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