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Shownotes Transcript
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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.
I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Nice little ass. Nice little ass. Nice little ass. Nice little ass.
Oh shit, and we back just like that. Welcome to another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Now listen, I know I usually have guests, but I'm doing this episode today by myself. Now this is the third episode since I've been back for season two, and I want to get into something more serious. I know y'all always expect for me to play, but I'm a mom, and I'm noticing things about my son that I haven't noticed before. So is his dad.
So let me ask you this. Have you ever seen a sudden extreme change in your child? Like sudden. Now I have over the past few months, I've seen that my son is way more quiet. He likes to be alone a lot. He would prefer to be by himself. He don't even like to be around his friends, his cousins and stuff like that. And I pay attention to that because he,
If you are an avid Jess Hilarious watcher, viewer, fan, supporter, what have you, whatever, then you know over the years my son has been charismatic, charming, absolutely animated, just a ball of fun, big personality. He's just like his mom. That's died down quite a lot over the past few months, right?
His father also sees it as well because he doesn't like to go with his dad on the weekends anymore. I just noticed that now Rome, everybody know little Bay for them. That's, that's my son's dad. He is a father of four, um, and expecting a new one. So a father of five and a stepfather of one. So it's six kids in that whole household where he is, you know, with his current girlfriend. And I
I noticed more recently, you know, he just got a house. Congratulations to my little baby father and his girlfriend. He just got a house and moved all the kids together. Fine. You know, now it's other kids. They live with their moms, but it never fails every weekend. Sometimes even into the week, Rome has his children, all of them.
Now, this is one thing. When I noticed that he didn't want to go over anymore, it was just one weekend out of the blue. He was like, mommy, can I stay with you? And I'm like, I'm not going to be home this weekend. I'm going to be out and about parties, all of that stuff. He's like, all right, it's fine. I'll still stay home. Like I'm old enough to stay home. I'm like, Ash, no, you're not. You're nine, baby. You're more advanced than the average nine year old or whatever that means. But you cannot stay.
stay home by yourself. Mind you, where I live now, it is a lot of security. I live in a building, a condo up on the 23rd floor, all that. Like I'm secure. You can't even get on my floor without a key fob and all that type of shit. We got security downstairs, outside, everything. So it's completely secure. However, Ashton is an explorer.
That little boy would be trying to cook and every goddamn thing else. Like, nah, you're not burning down no damn building. Okay. You're not going to do that. And then we have a dog, Bane, my little Frenchie. So I'm like, no, you're not old enough. I'm gonna give you until like 12, 11, 12, whatever. Then you can be in the house by yourself.
He like, nah, nah, I don't want to go with him. I said, okay, what does he do to you? Why don't you want to go? I just don't want to go. He won't ever give me a reason. So I talked to his dad about it. I went to Rome. I say, yo, don't even take this the wrong way. But out of nowhere, Ash just would rather stay home on the weekends.
And he was like, yeah, I know he been acting like he don't want to be with me when I come pick him up on Fridays. And I'm like, have you ever asked him why? And he's like, no, I told Rome. I'm like, Rome, I've asked him why, but he won't tell me. I think we should come to him together. So we talked to him together. He's like, nothing. No.
I just don't, I don't want to. I like to be home. Now, Rome thought because he has a mom that travels a lot and I'm always on the go and, you know, I spend as much time with him as I can. And even when he's out of school, he travels with me. I take my son everywhere with me as long as he doesn't have school. Since the pandemic, everything really hasn't picked back up like it was 2019, 2018, you know? So I'm actually home more than I've ever been since I've become a celebrity, right? Yeah.
So I'm like, no, that can't be it. I spend way more time with him than I ever used to when I first started blowing up. Like, no, I spend way more time. He's getting older, Rome. I don't even think it's the fact that he wants to be up under me because nowadays me and Ash will be in a house and I won't hear from him.
unless I go see what he doing. Like my baby used to be up under me. He used to be more affectionate. He used to kiss me, tell me he loves me, hug me, touch on my little love handles. Like he gets that shit from his dad. His dad used to just, he just liked to play with fat and shit. But you know, it used to be all of that affection, attention, mommy, mommy, this mommy, that mommy, mommy. I got to pay this little boy to call me now. Like I love hearing the word mommy because he doesn't say it. Like he doesn't talk. And I feel like
He's too young to be so unemotional now. He's nine. This usually occurs in teenagers. My son is not even 10 yet. He will be April 14th, but he's not even 10 yet. And he's already showing me that he may be an introvert. Now that's what the whole episode is about. How you're able to tell if your child is an introvert or not, which I think he is, which is weird to me.
Because I would have guessed that he would be an extrovert. And this is literally recently. Like, se puede ser, believe me. He was just like me, not even a year ago. I'm talking about what, like, he don't like the camera no more. He don't like being recorded. He don't like none of that shit. He don't like his door open. Now, you know, I'm a black mom. So sometimes I'd be like, no, leave this goddamn door open. What you doing? I'll be even listening by his door.
And he really don't be doing shit. My man be watching TV. He'll be doing his homework. He'll be reading a book. He'll be watching YouTube. He don't even really be on the phone to talk to his friends. You know, because when we were younger and we closed the door, we on the phone. We cussing and shit. You know what I mean? Trying to sound cool for our friends. And oh, look, we yeah, yeah, yeah. Bitch on the shit on it. You know what I mean? Like we're we're doing all that.
He does not do any of that. And trust me, I listen. I'm talking about these ears be glued to the damn door. He gives me nothing. But I'm letting you know, I feel like now Rome and I, with the help of my mother, we're raising an introverted child.
And the craziest thing about it is when he's home with me, I'm raising an introverted child in an extroverted world because my world is very extroverted. Now, listen, I also possess some quiet qualities. Like, you know, I'm not outgoing all the time. Sometimes people may see me out and they expect for me to be loud and jumping around and this, that, and the other. And like, they see me on the internet when really I have a downside as well. Like not a down, I don't want to say down. That's just the wrong word. Cause I'm not,
Like I'm hardly ever down, you know, I'm highly blessed and favored, but I don't like to talk to people. Sometimes I like to be alone. I like to, you know, just be by myself. Like I'll get to that point where I don't want to be around anybody, but I still can't even say that my child gets that from me. You understand what I'm saying? Because we have to realize everything that our children do is not really based off of how we raise them. It's not really based off what they see us do.
Our kids really still possess and develop traits of their own. They're still their own people. Like my brother, my brother is the total opposite of me. We were both raised in the same house by the same two parents, one disciplinarian, one more lenient, which was my dad, but he was still a great damn father and we did not play with his ass.
But still, my brother turned out totally different than I did. My brother is my biological brother, big brother, only one I have. His name is Kevin. He has anger issues. He's introverted as fuck. Like, he don't like to be around people. That's it. He work. He stays to himself. He go home. Same shit. Wife and kids, that's it. Half the time, he don't even like to be around they ass. Damn. But that is literally it. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial. And then we'll be right back.
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upset when they feel like they can't get through to their child. Like it's easy for them to be upset about it. Cause I got upset about it. Rome gets a little bit more upset than me because he's like, yo, what is it about me? He's taking it personal. Like my son don't like to be around me. What is this shit? Yo, I, I'm not used to this.
Rome lost his mom. Rome was not close with his dad after that. So understand Rome is more fearful for his child, not wanting to be around him. He thinking it's something that has to do with him. And it's really not. You have to ask yourself, like I told Rome, how do you talk to an introverted child? You have to accept and embrace.
the first hurdle to get over is yourself. We got to get over ourselves. Like, no, it's not even, it's not about what we're doing. It's not. We're both two goddamn good parents. Like, it's not us. You got to encourage them to seek out outlets for self-expression.
I love for Ashton to express himself and he does so, but not in front of people. And I told you that's so recent that that's more recent than anything. We have to respect their need for privacy. That's also big when you're an introvert. Respect their privacy. Now, I know he's only nine and I know y'all probably looking at the damn phone and looking at the podcast like, bitch, I am his mother or you are his mother. What you mean? He don't get no damn privacy. That's the problem.
Even with us growing up, we didn't get privacy. All right. That's why we snuck and did a lot of shit. And,
And, you know, turned into rebellious teenagers because we weren't given the respect of privacy as children. A lot of us, not in all cases, but very much most. You know what I'm saying? Especially growing up black. I can't speak for other races. I don't know how this shit is. I just know for me, I wasn't allowed to have a personality. I wasn't, well, I wasn't allowed to have a mood. I wasn't allowed to have an attitude to be upset or whatever. I wasn't allowed to have no damn privacy where I can just scream in my pillow, shut my door and just,
do all types of shit. You know what I mean? Your parents back then always wanted to be able to know what the fuck you was doing, but didn't give you the liberty and the freedom to express what the fuck you was going through. So that's the mistake.
that I don't want to make with my child. Respect their need for privacy. Like I told you, Ashton, he likes to keep his door shut. Now I'll listen for a while trying to catch something. I will never catch anything. He just really likes to be by himself off to the side, not with too many kids. Like seriously. I also noticed that my baby had a lot of friends in the same school. He's been attending the same school since first grade and now he
He has kids that he'll speak to, but he don't really want to hang out with them. He don't really want to talk to them all the time and shit. Like, I'm like, I'm paying your phone bill for no reason because you ain't on the phone. You know what I mean? Like, you know, another thing you have to work with their strengths.
Like find out what his strength is. Like find out what her strength is. I'm talking to you now, guys. Like if you're listening and your child is going through the same thing or you're going through the same thing with your child, find out what they flourish at, like what they blossom at, what their passion is, what they're good at. Find out their strengths.
Also, with an introvert, you can't be screaming and with the rah-rah and get what is wrong with you and da-da-da-da-da. Like you have to give them gentle nudges, not hard ass thrusts. Like you just can't be so harsh with an introvert that will push them away even further than you already feel that they're pushed away. When it's not even really them pushing you away, it's just who they are. You know what I mean? They don't like to be yelled at and scolded and shit.
Also, teach them to understand and celebrate their uniqueness. Tell them, explain to them what an introvert is, you know, and then tell them the uniqueness of it. Tell them that you understand them. Like, even if you don't understand them, try to, you know, don't make them feel bad about it because that's what me and Rome was doing when we couldn't figure it out. Unintentionally, we were making him kind of feel bad for not opening up, but it's like, damn, maybe we should take a different approach.
I honestly would not encourage therapy so early for a child that is developing introvertedness. But later on in life, if you see that it turns into something else, then OK, because just because you're an introvert does not mean you need therapy. It doesn't. Not always. And then you guys would ask the question, well, where does it come from? Where does introverted people come from? How do you just become an introvert?
That's because introversion or extroversion, you know, both, but we're speaking of introversion is something that humans are born with. And it may take a minute to activate. You know, like I said, I thought he was an extrovert. No, it's determined and in large part by our genes. But it still can happen where your kid is growing up and they're growing into themselves.
Ashton could have been just like me because kids are also sponges. So he may could have just been regurgitating everything that he's seen me do since he was born. Okay, I know my mother's loud, crazy, silly. He was doing that shit up until he's now growing into himself. So I just feel like he's finally growing into himself. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. No.
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If you also still don't know if your child is an introvert, this is how you can tell. They literally like recharge by being alone. I'm telling you, if you feel like your child always has an attitude, always angry, leave them alone for a while.
And see if they come back, if they're in a better mood. They recharge by being alone. It's literally, you know, it's just different. I'm not going to say it's weird. I'm not going to say it's awkward. It's just different from what if you're an extrovert, you know. Listen a bit more when they speak. Don't be so quick to shut them up. Like just listen to them talk. Pay attention. Pay attention to the kind of music they listen to.
You also will know if they take their time processing something. Like for instance, my boyfriend, he's an introvert for sure. For sure. I'll ask him a question and he will literally take so long in between words telling me. That's because they're thinking as they're talking, they're processing shit. They are different. I'm telling you, they're fucking different.
Just be more calm with your kid. Just give them a second. You take a second and then go back and reflect on some shit calmly. You know what I'm saying? Now, I'm not saying walk on eggshells. I'm not. But you have to adapt to your child just like they have to adapt to you. You know, everything is about adapting.
Some things you should not say to an introvert, whether it's your child or not, because we got to respect these people. You know, they're just a little bit different. And I struggle with my introverted boyfriend every day. And now I got an introverted child. So I'm like, Lord, please help me because I'm extroverted enough for everybody. OK, so I know I get on their nerves, too. But this is what you don't say. I learned this dating an introverted person.
You're so quiet. You real quiet. Don't say that. It's just like, okay, if you don't know the person is an introvert, you just going to say what the fuck come to your mind. But once you figure it out, certain things are just offensive. It can be offensive. Like if we are extroverted, you don't want nobody always saying, damn, you loud. You always loud and aggressive. That's something that I take offense to all the time because I don't feel that way. I don't feel that I'm always loud and aggressive. I'm loud and aggressive when I have to be.
Sometimes more often than not, but that's also a part of me. Just my extroversion. That's it. If you think about it, the root word for extrovert is extra. It's like, no, it's not. It's actually extra, but shit, I'm gonna say it like it is. It's extra bitch. All right. I'm extra.
Now, don't say speak up more. You need to speak up more. Damn. Because in their mind, it's like, nigga, I'm trying. I'm trying. I don't even want to. I don't even talk. So how the fuck I'm going to speak up? Nigga, I don't even like to talk to y'all motherfuckers. They're in their mind saying that shit. Don't say speak up. Be more assertive. Be more assertive. No, that's for y'all. You know what I'm saying? That ain't for us. Also, don't interrupt them while they talking.
Because nine times out of ten, you ain't going to have to because they ain't going to have much to say. They're expressive in different ways. You will notice a lot of introverted people are artists, you know, because artists, they love to express themselves non-verbally. You know what I'm saying? Not recording artists. I'm talking about like creative people, artistic people. They like to paint. They like to draw. They like to design clothes. They design whatever, you know, stuff that keep them busy where they don't have to say much to nobody because they're in their own zone.
Don't say you're so boring. Like you boring as shit. Like you're so boring. Please don't say that to them. Aren't you lonely? Don't say that shit. Be more outgoing. Don't say that shit.
And I'm going to say this before I get up out of here. Now, listen, everything I just said, I want y'all to be informed. I want it to be very educational to y'all because I don't just get on here just talking shit. That's for Reckless Discussions that comes out every Wednesday on YouTube. Make sure you check it out. Okay. Y'all got about 12 more hours until the episode 11 drops. But I don't want anybody to think that, like I said,
I'm telling y'all to walk on eggshells around y'all kids or, you know, these introverted people that you think that you have to dim your light for. No, no, no. And that's another thing. They don't want you to dim your light. They just don't want you to force them to shine theirs brighter. And that's a word. I know that's right. Like I dropped something on it. That was, that was a gem. That was a goddamn gem of the day.
But listen, it's the difference between introverted people and stubborn ass motherfuckers. And I want y'all to mix up the two. My son is not a stubborn ass little motherfucker and neither is my boyfriend. They just are introverted people. That's just what that is. And as long as y'all know how to treat these people, then everything will be fine. So just like that, we come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your favorite girl, Jessalarius. Make sure you tune in every week at 5 p.m.
every Wednesday on Hump Day. Peace. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.
I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights.
Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.