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cover of episode I'm Coming to You As a Woman

I'm Coming to You As a Woman

2021/7/21
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Carefully Reckless

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
B
Bria
J
Jess
Topics
Bria: 女人之间互相告知对方男友出轨的情况,有两种截然不同的反应:一种是选择视而不见,因为她们可能已经知道男友出轨,或者她们不想面对真相;另一种则是迫切想知道真相,因为她们对男友非常信任,以至于完全没有想到对方会出轨。有些女人对伴侣非常信任,以至于完全没有想到对方会出轨,而当她们最终得知真相时,往往会感到震惊和难以接受。有些男人精力充沛,同时与多名女性交往。即使女人知道伴侣出轨,她们仍然可能选择不离开,而这往往导致她们与情敌发生冲突,但伴侣的行为却不会因此改变。过度依赖检查手机等行为来确认伴侣忠诚度,本身就反映了关系中存在问题。 Jess: 她本人从未主动告知他人其男友的婚外情。她曾被告知不要与另一位女性联系,因为那名女性可能会揭露她男友的秘密。即使女人之间分享秘密,她们也应该意识到可能存在其他隐藏的真相。她曾主动联系另一位女性,告知对方其男友已婚的事实。她事先并不知道男友已婚,直到事件曝光后才得知真相。她直到与男友分手后才开始关注他的社交媒体内容,并因此得知他已婚的事实。她不会容忍男友欺骗行为,并会采取相应的措施。她会直接质问男友,而不是仅仅依赖于其他女性的告知。她曾遇到过男友利用另一位女性的钱财来取悦她的情况,并为此感到难过。她与另一位女性在水烟馆相遇,并听取了对方关于男友利用其钱财的叙述。她并没有归还男友用另一位女性的钱财购买的礼物。她同情那些在感情中受伤害的女性。她理解女性在感情中做出疯狂行为的原因。她理解“女人之间互相告知对方男友出轨”这一行为的积极和消极方面。女人之间互相告知对方男友出轨,其动机可能各不相同,有的为了寻求关注,有的则出于真心帮助。她主要目的是帮助那位女性拿回被男友骗走的钱财。她曾劝说男友停止欺骗行为。由于社交媒体的普及,“女人之间互相告知对方男友出轨”这一行为带有负面含义。将私事公开到社交媒体上,会加剧负面影响。在社交媒体上公开私事,会适得其反。公开私事只会带来负面影响,并不会获得任何好处。她不赞同为了获得物质利益而与他人发生关系的行为。她认为Safaree对Erica Mena的态度转变令人气愤。Safaree对Erica Mena的态度转变,以及他对待婚姻的态度,令人失望。Safaree在节目中对Erica Mena的态度表现得非常冷漠。Safaree对Erica Mena的生日惊喜表现得非常冷漠。她同情那些在感情中被欺骗的女性。她不理解为什么有些男人在得到对方后会改变态度。她同情那些在感情中被抛弃的女性。她认为Erica Mena害怕告诉Safaree自己怀孕了,这反映了他们婚姻关系的紧张程度。她最担心的是在婚姻中被欺骗。人们更关注失败的婚姻,而忽略了成功的婚姻。人们不应该将其他人的婚姻作为自己的目标。她认为Ciara和Russell的婚姻是一个成功的例子。她未来可能会结婚。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Jess and Bria discuss their perspectives on the concept of a woman coming to another woman, sharing personal experiences and reactions to such situations.

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Just like that, we back with another Carefully Reckless episode. I'm here again with LaBria Shannon, last week's guest. What's up, baby? What's going on, friend?

ain't nothing you gonna be a little bit more lit this week yeah because you wasn't trying to show us the Baltimore I really feel like you need to show us the Baltimore okay got you okay cool so listen last week approaching the end of the episode you asked me about Justin Laboy I sure did okay and why he pulls a lot of stuff on his page that have men and women thinking so I'm like he pulls a question last week like

which sign was a woman coming to another woman and I commented and I was like, I don't want to make come up to me about anything. LOL. And I got a little backlash from that. Okay. And it was a thing. Okay. Well, he said, what was it? How do you feel about a woman coming to you as a woman? Yeah.

Well, I do honestly, but I do know who that is. I do not know Justin LaBoy or Justin L.A. Boy. I still don't even know if it's L.A. Boy or LaBoy. I don't know. Either way, I know that he is the voice for a lot of our thoughts as women. And then he is the voice for a lot of the men's thoughts. I do respect his page. I respect his content. Now...

coming to you as a woman about your man about your man now listen listen listen it's two ways you can look at that you can look at it one way and say I don't want to know shit because I know my nigga out there doing I don't want to look because a lot of people nine times out of ten a lot of these women know that their men are out there you know what I'm saying so they don't need you coming to them now listen then you have the other woman who's completely in a blind who don't know I've seen like

Family members that go through that shit, they want to know because they don't know what's going on. They put these men up on pedestals so high that they don't even expect to be cheated on. One of my aunts, she never checked phones. And you shouldn't have to do that. But he got so comfortable with her being so lax in the relationship that when somebody ended up coming to her as a woman, everything was a fucking surprise to her. You know what I'm saying? She was like, I'm not even going to say she was naive. She just was fucking...

I don't know. She was so into her man and he was into her, too. He just had a lot of motherfucking energy because he had energy for this bitch, that bitch and my aunt. You know what I mean? So it's just like some women already don't even expect to be cheated on. You know what I'm saying? Like that still is a thing. You know, you don't expect it, but it happens. But you have your women that want to know. And then you got the ones that don't want to know. You know, then you got the ones that want to fight the bitches.

Facts. When you know you ain't gonna leave this nigga. And nine times out of ten, he ain't gonna stop messing with the girl that you about to fight. Facts. I just feel like women, when they come into those type of situations, I feel like they need validation that they in his life. They do so much on this social media. Like, oh, we did this. We got...

Miss, that man was with another lady yesterday. You know what I'm saying? So it's so much that goes on. And then you want to come to somebody as a woman for confirmation. What do you want to know that you already don't know? Because some people know. They go through them phones. I'm not that type of person. I ain't going through nobody's phone. I have discernment, baby. I ain't doing all that. Okay, discernment. I know that's right. Discernment.

But I'm not doing all that. And I feel like if you have to do all of that, go through people's phones and all that, it's already a problem. Before you put yourself through the whole insecure stage. Yeah, the insecurity is already flowing over. Sneaking and looking at a guy's phone. You're texting the lady and all that. No, talk to your man. Like, what's going on? Talk about y'all. All right, well, listen, let me ask you this. You ever come to somebody as a woman?

I don't feel it's necessary. So that's a no. You've never came to somebody as a woman. You've never been dealing with a guy who had a girlfriend that you didn't know about until you found out about her later and you hit her up. Like, listen, this is what's going on. You never did? Never. I feel you. Never. Has anybody ever come to you as a woman? They tried. What that mean? Hey, I want to talk to you about my man. What are you talking about? What? I'm going to hit the man. This lady says she want to talk. Don't talk to her.

So that's what the guy told you? Like, yeah. Don't talk. Don't talk. Okay. And was this the ex that we was talking about last week? Oh, no. You know I'm an ex. And talk in the mic so we can hear you, huh? I don't do it about it. What? That's the same one? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So somebody came to you as a woman. Okay. And he told you, do not talk to her. But you know why he told you do not talk to her? Because she was going to spill the beans on what the fuck he was telling her. Facts of the man. You know what I mean? And I know as a woman, you know, from woman to woman, we share things and we share things. And often we are judged for sharing them by the woman that we shared with. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time,

You still got to leave that reservation open for the fact that y'all really could be hiding some other shit. You understand what I'm saying? And she was the girlfriend, huh? Yeah, that I said, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So both of y'all were being played by this nigga. So understand, if he told you not to talk to her, he told...

Her not to talk to you too. This was him trying to keep y'all separate. And fuck with y'all at the same time for as long as he could. Yeah. Now me personally...

I have. I have come to somebody as a woman. I felt bad for a situation. I found out somebody I was dealing with was married. I mean, we know this story. And I tried to approach her. I tried to talk to her. She wanted to keep going on social media. She really wanted to keep like going there with it when they knew she knew that they were getting a divorce. You know what I'm saying? Like

Only thing that I didn't agree with was that he lied and told me that they were already divorced. You know what I'm saying? After not even telling me that he had a wife. We woke up together in Puerto Rico, like I didn't say it plenty of times. And the shaver was up. Bitch, the shaver was a jumping. She sent a marriage certificate and said, we are still happily married. I don't know anything about no divorce. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Lying. Lying. And then that started a feud in between me and him as we waking up in Puerto Rico together. Oh, okay, cool. And we got three more days here. Let me leave because I don't have time for this. You have a wife? All right, I was going to tell you, but we divorced. We divorced.

First of all, I didn't even know there was a wife. Now you're saying it's a divorce, but your marriage license, your marriage certificate is on Shade Room up and down all day. So it's like, does she know she divorced? Like, you know, so I tried to go to her like, listen, I did not know about you. His fans don't even fucking know about you. A lot of his fans did not even know he was married until that shit came out. You should have seen up and down them comments like, damn, yo, you married? They still try to bring it up. You know what I'm saying? To this day, you know, and it's just like, I didn't know that.

And then I really didn't pay any attention to him outside of him just liking me. I wasn't watching his comedy. I wasn't watching his videos. I wasn't at all. I didn't know. I just, I knew who he was. I knew his name. You know, we're all in that same industry, that same lane where these names come across your desk. Like, it's like, okay, cool.

And I know I had seen him a couple times. I ran into him in New York and L.A. And, you know, we were crossing paths because of TV and film. Did not even think to start watching his comedy or his content until maybe like when we broke up. I did not. You know what I'm saying? So I didn't know that. And people were like, bitch, you knew he was married. No, I did not know he was fucking married, bitch. Lying. Lying. Like when I was in my little situation.

Man said he was single. We try to get on his feet using this lady. All that type of foolishness. But like, you know, it's only a certain amount of things that you're going to get away with me. You're not going to lay up under me, baby, and think it's a thing. I'll let you go over there and let that person deal with that. I'm not settling for that type of foolishness. You so right. You know what I'm saying? So I'll play the game. Let's play the game. We both go play the game. But guess what? I'm not settling for the foolishness. So you're going to have to go over there and do what you want to do over there. I ain't know nothing about this person.

until they hit my phone. He don't speak about you. Yeah. No, I get it. But did you penalize him in any way? Like, why is this girl hitting me? What is going on? Did you sit him down and talk to him? Like, listen, she wouldn't have to hit me unless she really thought she had something to tell me. So did you fucking hit him? Absolutely. Every time the call came through, why is this...

So this bitch was just a calling. No, just a texting. Just a texting. Why do you keep hitting me about this? Man, I don't deal with that in my personal life. But I wouldn't even want to be on that side either, Bri, because it's like, obviously, it's something that he fucking telling her. And when he not with you, he was with her. And no, you're right. You know not to do this shit no more. You know not to step your foot in this shit no more. But,

I don't know. I remember there was a time, another time where somebody came to me as a woman. And this guy wasn't even my boyfriend. I was dating him and he was using this girl for money to buy me shit. Damn. I'm talking about taking money from one bitch and giving it to me. Oh, friend, you. When I'm not even the one who need the money. You know, real MVP, okay? You know what I'm saying?

But like I felt bad in that fucking moment when she hit me. I'm talking about we met down at my fucking hookah lounge. She was crying to me. And I just was like, yo, I feel horrible. Because it was around my birthday. She was able to tell me every single thing that

she knew that he had bought for me because how much it amounted to when he used her money wow did you give any of that stuff back I did not give any of it back I just didn't feel like she would have much use for it so no I did not give anything back but I felt bad in that moment and I called that nigga like right there in front of her I said yo you using this girl to give me you you got such and such from her and he didn't know she was right there he like I don't even know what the fuck that is yeah that's how it

You can at least not lie like that. Come on. This girl got pictures of you on her phone. She got. And like I said, he was not my boyfriend then. Like he was not my boyfriend at all. We had never even made it to that point because of shit like this.

But we were two months in dating. You know what I'm saying? I started dating him in like December. My birthday was February. He showered me. I'm talking about like showered me. All of that and still have a second life. Everything. And still juggle. You know, right. So with her coming to me, I listened to her. I wasn't like...

Oh, no, I wasn't like you, bitch. Like, no, I ain't nothing to talk about. Whatever, whatever. I didn't even tell the nigga that she said, can you please meet me down? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because she knew one of my friends. She knew somebody that I knew and they knew her. And she was like, I just need to get in front of Jess because I know who she's dealing with. And I'm dealing with the same nigga. He is taking money from me, spending it on her. I need to talk to her.

And I said, okay. So by the end of that conversation, she was, you know, teary eyed and shit. And I have like a sympathy card and like a compassion card for women who are going through shit that they can't help. Like, well, she could help that, but.

When it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes you'll do some crazy shit. I agree. You know, and she had told me he had lied to her about shit that he was supposed to be doing and, you know, just to get money out of her. And then she'll never, ever see her money again. And I said, OK, well, were they loans? Did you tell him that? So I was in love with him. Yeah, but baby, you still got to let him know I need my fucking money back. You need to write contracts. Bitch, you can't be giving niggas no money or no fucking contract. That's not good. You don't do that.

So I just want to say I do understand the I'm coming to you from woman to woman. I understand both parts. It's a negative side and it's a positive side. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Sometimes when that woman to woman thing come, it be intentions. Like, what is your intention? What's your motive? Like, for instance, all these fucking strippers that was coming out saying, I slept with a little baby. Like, their intentions are for the attention, the exposure of it, what they can get. They honestly don't even be trying to break up.

him and Jada. They just want what they can get out of that nigga at that time. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of times bitches want to be able to throw in your face that they fucked your nigga. So I do understand the intentions behind like the girl's intentions when she was telling me about the guy who was taking money from her but spending it on me. That wasn't just so I could know that she fucking with him too. I honestly didn't give three and a half fucks. You know what I'm saying? And she knew that I didn't.

but I really wanted to get that girl money back. I really did. I wanted to like rob that nigga and get that money back, but he ain't have it no more. He ain't had no more money. I said, shit, if this mean I'm gonna have to pawn my Louis, if I'm gonna have to pawn my Louis and my Chanel, then baby, you ain't gonna get your money because these boots is nice. I think this man was taking money from this lady. He was out all the time. Man.

Bill Payne Bill Payne oh you want me to do a tip and it's so bad and it's so bad because she actually had a really good job and she worked and she was a single mother so that shit really like fucked it up even more I said damn she's a single mom you can't do that so I chewed him up stopped talking to him you know whatever

But you have to know the intentions of the person. And it depends on the situation. When women come to you. Yeah, every situation is different, you know? And then you never know what the woman that you come to, she might not even been in no stuff like this before. So you're like, hold up. I mean, uh-uh, let me hit yo up. You know what I'm saying? Because ain't nobody really running to that all the time, all the time. Let me hit yo up. And then honestly, nowadays...

Since everything is publicized and everything is put on social media and everything like that, the coming to you from woman to woman has a negative connotation around it because it's like...

Listen, I'm going to post this because this bitch, she fucking coming to me. You know, I'm going to post this. I'm going to post it. I'm going to post this. I'm going to post this. It's like, yo. You don't have to post that. I don't post nobody on my page. If I'm coming to you as a woman, bitch, I'm coming to you as a woman. That's it. You know, but like I said, it's been this negative connotation placed on it since everything has to be posted. Like something just happened in the media last month or something with Amber Rose. Somebody was coming.

Not to her as a woman. Amber Rose. No. Yeah. Amber Rose came to somebody as a woman about her man, A.E. And the bitch posted it. Like, bitch, I'm asking you a simple question. Did you fuck with my man? I know he used to fuck with you back then, but I don't know. I'm a little weary about have y'all fucked? Was y'all fucking with each other while we were together? This bitch go and post it.

bitch, now you stupid. Like, you know what? She didn't even have to do that. That really pissed me off, you know, that she decided to post that shit between. You happy as shit Amber Rose hit you, bitch. Don't even do that. You know what I'm saying? Went ahead in no other way.

other way. Yeah, and after that day, wasn't nobody talking about that shit no more. You did all that shit for 24 hours of nothing. Clout. Stupid. Clout. And ain't even getting no goddamn clout. And Amber wasn't even being mean. She was just saying, hey, would you mind telling me if you and, you know, you and A.E. were fucking with each other when we were together?

She getting all smart and shit. They gonna post it. Just so she can seem like she won. I don't like that shit. You lost. The moment you posted it, you lost. You lost. It's over. I'm being a woman. People go on the internet so much. That's Facebook, that Instagram. That's old. So Justin Laboy posted something else. I was looking at it. It said, so did we all get played this year by a motherfucker who wanted us first? Yes! Yes!

Oh, there she go. We done woke this bitch up. Listen. Don't come to me. You know, buy me dozens of roses and give me money. It ain't no play with me, baby. I know. I get it. I get it. And you know what? One couple that I feel like is going through that shit right now is Erica Mena and fucking Safaree. Damn. It pisses me off so bad, yo, because he did want her. He wanted her. So, like, you couldn't tell this man...

Nothing about Erica Mena. He was so attracted to her. Like he was really in love with her, showing her off and everything. I'm talking about like he was showing like how much he really liked her and how he wanted her. And then he gets her to get married. They have a baby and he openly admitted it on Love and Hip Hop.

I didn't know a baby would be this much. Basically, like, I don't want to do this shit no more. You know what I'm saying? And you can tell Erica's so stressed out about it. It's like, yo. It hurt. But like she said, I didn't ask for this.

You asked for my hand in marriage. You asked me to be your girl. You begged me, nigga. We saw on TV. They was on a couple reality shows together. This nigga would not leave her alone. He chased her. And then now treating her like she chased him. It's like you work to get me, but you ain't gonna work to keep me. Now you don't want you. And I gave into you because she did not like this nigga at first. I'm telling you, yo, she did not like him. And then he made her fall in love. And then literally,

Just started treating her like shit. Threw her away. Now listen, what we don't know is the whole story. I do know that, but what you show us, what you show us on TV, what you show us online, Safari, you don't fuck with your wife like that. He talks to her like she annoys him. On the previous episode, she gave him like a Jamaican bash at their mansion. He been wanting to go back to Jamaica.

Jamaica for a while. That's where he's from. But COVID kind of shut all that down. So he didn't. He wasn't able to travel there. So she got Spice to perform. Spice is queen of dancehall. You know, that's that's and I love her. That's one of my favorite 11 hip hop Atlanta. I love Spice. Hey, Spice. And then he got like some Jamaican dancers and shit. Jamaican food like she got catered. She got like some nice shit. The whole set up a billboard with him on it. First thing he say we walk in is.

I love me. This is great. Like he ain't never say yo shout out to my wife. Like he said it later on in the commentary. He didn't even voice that shit in the actual scene.

I've never seen Erica like this. Never. I know she get played with by a lot of niggas that she, like for instance, in the past, she done got played with by fucking Rich Dollaz when Love & Hip Hop New York first came on. I'm talking about like, nigga, that nigga played her up and down. You know what I'm saying? She got played with a lot of times. You know what I'm saying? And it's like... Why is it like that though? I don't know. They work so hard to get us like... It be people we not even interested in, not even our type. They work so hard to get us, they got us, and then lay down down the road.

It's like, it's not the same energy that you were giving before. Why is it like, what's the, what's the thing? I have no idea. I really don't know. You know, listen, in the beginning, you got me. I'm in love. And now we going down here like, what happened? That's what we got to call Justin LaBoy and see what he got to say about the shit. You know what I'm saying? We got to write this nigga. Because honestly, I don't understand. Now, listen, that.

That has never happened to me, but I can honestly sympathize with women that it happens to because you don't ever want to feel unwanted by somebody that you didn't even want at first. Like they did all this work to make you see that they're the one for you. And then...

now it's like nah I ain't never leaving real shit you know what I'm saying like all of that shit is crazy you know so I just want to commend all the women who are going through that shit because that shit has not got to be easy like it has not got to be easy like I know and then she's on her second baby she was scared to tell him that she was pregnant Erica was scared to tell this nigga that she was pregnant

You know how fucked up your marriage gotta be? How much of a strain has been put on it and how much down the drain, how far down the drain y'all are when you gotta butter your husband up to tell him that you pregnant and be scared of his reaction? Because he told her, like, I don't want no more kids. Wow, that's crazy. But she didn't even know she was pregnant, you know, according to Love & Hip Hop and everything. She did not know that she was fucking pregnant. So later, like she said, she wasn't even really paying attention to her body, you know, because she was going through it stressed out. And like he said,

we live in the same house and we don't even sleep in the same room. I didn't even know that my wife was pregnant. I couldn't even see that she was pregnant. She was showing a little bit, but he wasn't paying attention. Wasn't paying attention. That's my biggest fear to marriage. You want to get married? No, let me, let me rephrase that. That's not my biggest fear. Getting married is not my biggest fear. Getting married and being pleased and then please. Yeah, that's the part. Play me.

Play me while I'm your girlfriend. I do want to live happily ever after. Because I'm going to fuck some shit up. Yeah, that part. But we can't. But once we... Get that energy out in the beginning. But if we want to settle down, like, let's make it happen. Let's make it happen. Don't do that. You know, like, I just... So marriage definitely used to be in the forefront of my mind. But it's like, I see so many marriages failing. What? What?

Yeah. Like it's so many. A lot of marriages are failing but then you still. Because everybody don't put the same effort in. I know but we pay so much attention to the marriages that are failing that we don't really pay homage to the ones that are standing. We got Grant Hill and Tamia. We got Boris Kojo and Nicole Ari Parker. We got like and look for a minute remember how everybody used to be like I want to be like Will and Jada. I want to be

Like B and J. I want to, and then you see some shit come out. You know what I'm saying? It's like, we should look to people. We should look to people. It's different. That behind the closed door, you get a whole nother story. We should not look to other people as goals. You know what I'm saying? Because everybody's different.

Everybody's different. And a lot of people live for this image. A lot of it has a lot to do with imagery. I love Ciara merch, though. I love Ciara and Russell's merch. And listen, prime example. She didn't even like him at first. That was not her type. That was not her type. She wasn't into that. She was not trying to give that man a chance at first. I love this. And he stayed persistent. He stayed with it. Yes. And he got her. Yes. And he swept her off her fucking feet. And now she's living the fairytale marriage life. Yes.

And them babies are beautiful. All of them. All of her babies. Their babies future. Like everybody little future I was meant to say but they are they are adorable. I love that family. You know who else I love? Gabrielle Union. Yes. Yes. I love Gabrielle Union situation. How marriage that is. Not the situation. The marriage. The marriage. Don't have it down places. Like. Ha.

But like, I might get married. You'll be like, huh? When?

It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Okay. It's going to get there in life. It's going to get there. But until we get there, we've come to the end of another episode of Carefully Reckless with your girl, Jessalarius, and I got my baby, LaBrea Shannon. Say bye-yo. Bye-yo. Make sure you tune in next week, every Wednesday, hump day, Carefully Reckless with me and in my deepest pan voice. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

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