I'm Only Gay For You
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

And just like that, welcome back to yet another Caffley Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. We on the air. We're going to jump right in. We got a lot of voice notes, so listen, y'all.

Good morning, Jeff. I know it's early as fuck, but I've been meaning to send you this voice note because I need you to help me figure out my mess. Like how I hit you with that one, too? Not fix my mess, figure that shit out, because I'm motherfucking confused over here. Sorry for the potty mouth. I know it's early, but...

Before I go into details, I must say, bitch, I love you like a motherfucker. Like, you're my inspiration, my motivation, and I'm an upcoming influencer entertainer myself. Anyways, no free promo. I know you don't play that shit.

But I dated this girl in high school and she wasn't gay. You know, just most gay girls just feel like they can get any straight girl they want no matter what. They can turn a bitch out. Like, girl, stay in your motherfucking lane and keep it pushing. Like, I learned my lesson. I respect my motherfucking karma.

So, anywho, everybody just knew I couldn't get her, but it's like I made that shit a motherfucking goal. I'm going to get this bitch. Like, we be making that shit goals. I'm going to get her. I'm going to get her. Like, knowing that bitch may not be that interested for real, but we going to make you that interested for real. We don't give a fuck. Especially me. I'm a motherfucking Sagittarius. I don't play. Anyways, that's the old me. We talking about the old me now. Anyways, so I've grown a lot. And

And she played softball, so I became the softball manager just so I could get closer to her. Damn. And behold, believe it or motherfucking not, it motherfucking worked. Yeah, I got her at softball practice. I would mess with her a lot, and then I would sit next to her on the bus for the softball trips. I remember one time she was on the phone with her mom.

Damn. Alright.

Her mom? And that's another little issue I have. Like, when we're talking, give me your undivided attention and this bitch would just get distracted anytime I talk to her and be on her phone, be doing this, that, and the third. Like, I want your undivided attention because I'm going to give it to you when you're talking. So, I do others as I want done unto me. It's what people don't understand and this thing that we call life. So, we're going to move on. And

we grew closer as the days went on. Of course, I kept messing with her. You know that little play fighting shit turns into that fucking shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought you'd be doing that. That shit funny as fuck. I did not do that. Girl, so, one day I

went over to her house for the first time to help her take her hair out. I already knew what the fuck was going to go down, bitch. I wouldn't try to go take no motherfucking hair out. But that's the way. That's the code you get your foot in the motherfucking dough. So, that's what I did. Played the game, how it's played. You already know, mama ain't going to care about a bitch coming over. So, boom. Went over and...

Helped her take her hair out. You know, we played and the playing led to other things. And that was the night that baby was mine. After that, it was over. It was rats. Now, let me tell you where I fucked up. I expected her to be

That gay girlfriend, as soon as we got into the relationship by me being gay, I expected her to pick up on the gay things that I did to her and expected her to do them back to me was the huge issue of the whole relationship that made me gay.

us turn toxic. And I will admit that it was my fault and take my accountability on it. Like when she didn't do what I wanted and she wasn't giving me the pleasure that I wanted, I wouldn't have got that pleasure and things from outside parties in code for cheating. Once that started happening, I started going to outside parties and that's really, really when things started getting better.

And, you know, I stayed with her. I loved her. But I stayed with her just because, first of all, when she first found out, she came back. That's the problem that I feel like us as women have to stop doing so these men don't be so comfortable to do what they're doing. We have too many women out here that settle and just accept because they feel like they won't find no one that'll love them for them or...

that they're not worth it. They're not enough. And when we do things like that, we or men or whoever the other motherfucker party is, he, she, it, alien, when we do things like that, we don't realize that we're bringing our partner's self-esteem down, making them feel like, well, what am I doing wrong? So she...

Okay. Okay.

I know you do that sound effect too. Yeah, the relationship was just very toxic because throughout the relationship, all I did was cheat, get that pleasure from those outside parties, and she returned. Now, I'm not trying to make her seem like no weak bitch, but that's what love do to you.

And sad to say, you know, we can't control temptation and comfortability. Sometimes we can't. But when it's breaking point, it's your breaking point. And we did eventually get to that breaking point. I also had a little temper motherfucking problem. I would get mad.

I'm angry. Up until this day, I'm angry. Oh, I can tell. That's a whole other story for another day. Dealing with family stuff like with my father, I'm angry. So it caused me to be angry in a lot of situations that didn't need it to be. And I would feel attacked all the time when necessarily I wasn't always being attacked. So with all of

the way that she was raised and growing up and the things that she was going through, it just didn't work. We both were going through our own little separate situations and didn't realize that we just needed to be apart and figure out our situations instead of trying to do it together. It wasn't working because we were so comfortable. But like I said, we eventually did get to that breaking point. And after that,

four years of being together, we broke up. And that was about three years ago. And we both haven't found anyone. We're still single and we're still friends to this day. And it took us a

♪♪

to this day to get that together because, you know, I was the one that cheated. So I was the one that felt the guilt and was trying to get back with her.

All alone, she had moved on from the relationship from the first time that I cheated. In reality, she was just there because of comfort. And of course, she loved me. But the relationship was done the first time I cheated. All trust was gone. Right. And that's what others don't realize either. So, yes, Jess, the mess that I need you to help me figure out is why am I still single? What? I feel like a whole heap of motherfucking lot.

Being in the relationship with her, I learned a lot. I learned what to do and what not to do in a relationship. And I just, I honestly feel like and know for a fact that I wouldn't ever in my life cheat on another person again. Like, I really truly loved her. And of course, you don't realize that until after the fact. And I would never, ever want to see the person that I love hurt and cry again.

And knowing that I was the pain and the reason, the after effects of all of that is terrible and it's draining and it's stressful and it's depression and it's your mental health you fucking with. At that point, I lost about 30 pounds, went from 200 to 160. Dealing with that after the fact of us being not together anymore. So it was definitely, it was a lot.

Now I'm just trying to figure out why am I still single. Like I said, it's been three years and I still like haven't found no one. I feel like I've grown a lot. I've changed a lot. My whole life perspective has changed just with experience and everything I've been through. I grew the fuck up.

And it's like I've talked to females since I've been with her, but it's like all of it ends up not working out. Like the people I attract is crazy as fuck, bitch. I attract a motherfucker that got shot, a motherfucker that's bipolar, a motherfucker that motherfuckers tell me I'm too aggressive and I act like a nigga too much. And they were the ones that's really fucked up. They had secret kids on the way and shit like.

It's just confusing. Like, why can't I find love? And I don't know. I feel like I have to find myself first before I find love or, you know, figure out my life and who I am as an influencer, actress, brand ambassador, model, public figure, motivational speaker. I do it all. Most are talented female. And I just feel like because I'm on maybe my little come up,

Then maybe that's the reason why I haven't found no one. Because, you know, it gets lonely when you're great and when you're meant to be successful or a star in life. It gets lonely. And I was listening to Pretty V. Well, just think about what she said the other day. Actually, when we were at the Revolt Summit in Atlanta. I know you were there for a while now, too, girl. I mean, love me, I'll be with y'all. Not like that, but.

Yeah, she just mentioned that it gets lonely on this journey, but, you know, you're going to have anxiety. You're going to go through shit, but don't let that determine you or be your whole life. And it's just, of course, it's hard as shit. Like, it's hard as fuck. I'd really be lonely as fuck, and I would go back and text certain people just because of how lonely I am. Like, that's another thing about us as the human fucking population. Like, we really would go back and put up with a motherfucker

that maybe put their hands on us, cheated, or made anything, did anything wrong and just deal with them just because of us being bored. And that's another generational cycle or social, I don't fucking know, social thing that we have to break as a whole. Like, it's not a good thing. So, yes, like, yes. I just need help. I don't understand why I'm still single. Am I doing something wrong? Like, I talk to these different girls and...

And it's like, it just never works out. Like our personalities is like, I expect, they make me feel like I be expecting too much. Like I'm not from the lower my standards, bitch. No, like I don't be, it don't be too much. I just want undivided attention. I want a motherfucker to show me that care. I want the motherfucking rose petals in the hotel. I want fucking all the little cute shit, flowers. I've never received flowers. Like that's, and that's a lot of things that I,

always did in my last relationship that wasn't necessarily always done to me as well. Like, I don't feel like my last relationship really was a 50-51 emotionally, affectionately wise. Like...

at all and yeah like i'm not lowering my standards i just i need motherfuckers to get right but maybe i just haven't found my person yet i don't know and i'm still young i'm 23 so maybe that's another thing i don't need to be worrying about this because another thing that i realize is when i stop worrying about bitches my life gets better

and my blessings come better and all of that good stuff so yes Jess I really hope you listen to this I can't wait I love you boo and that's the end of my motherfucking story period hold up hold up I know this shit getting good but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial if you love me you'll listen here's a little secret most smartphone deals aren't that exciting to be honest they're barely worth mentioning but then there's AT&T and their best deals

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Okay, so I love you too. I want to tell you, you have kept me entertained throughout this whole ordeal, this whole story from beginning to end. And I do see a motherfucking future and stand up for you because, child, you know how to tell a story. Comical, okay?

All right, let's get down to some serious shit. It's a couple things. First of all, you being 23, yes, you are too young to be worried about this shit right now, especially when you want your come up. I wouldn't put little in front of it because ain't nothing little about a come up. You know what I'm saying? You're going to be way further than you ever expected to be. You're very charismatic. So I definitely get how you charm girls. But

You also are controlling. I hear it. You're very controlling. Bitch, you wanted this girl to get off the phone with her motherfucking mother to talk to you. Her mother could have been drowning. Her mother, well, I don't know why she would be on the phone if she was drowning, but you get what the fuck I'm saying. You understand what I'm saying? That's her mother. You thought she was talking to, if I'm remembering right, you said that you thought that she was talking to a guy at first or a girl or whatever. She was talking to her mom. Yeah.

And you was like, I don't give a fuck. Even when I found out it was her mother, I didn't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? How the fuck would you feel if your mom was on the phone with you and the bitch was like, I don't give a fuck about your mother. Get off that motherfucking phone and talk to me. First of all, you give me female Ike Turner if you ask me. You know what I mean? And it's a couple of controlling things that you got going on. But I also noticed that you also brought up your dad as well.

So you're still upset. You got a lot of animosity with a lot of family shit going on. That could be where your controlling issues stem from. That could be where your anger issues stem from. Straight up. You already said it. You know what I mean? You may need therapy for a lot of things. You may also, like you hinted toward, need to find yourself and figure out who you are and what exactly you require to even be loved.

Because I think that attention, that undivided attention that you long for so much from one person, I think you wanted that from your father. I think you probably wanted that from like your parents growing up. You didn't really speak on your mom. But I think what we do as human beings, we lack, we go without these basics, like these essentials for so long.

is now that we're adults and we grow up and we try to love and we try to be intimate and have these relationships.

That we don't realize that we lack until we are in love with somebody and we realize that we don't have something that we should have been had before we jumped in a relationship. So you try to blame it on other people. I don't think you should lower your standards. No, but I think you should find who you are. Your standards are not the problem. It's what you require. You require too much from a female. You do. And then too fast.

Girl, you became a softball coach to get close to this bitch and she wasn't even gay. That was a lesson that you learned. You said it at the beginning. You can't turn every straight bitch all the way gay. You can't do that. I was in love with a female before, but I never touched or looked at another female after her. But that female couldn't make me gay.

I just liked her. I knew I still wanted some dick. I knew I still wanted to explore the dating pool of men. I just was obsessed with this one girl. I didn't want no little pussy after that. I didn't even want her pussy. She wanted mine and she got that motherfucker too. But after that, it was no more of that. You understand what I'm saying?

So when you say, I felt like my last relationship, I wasn't reciprocated. Yeah, because she wasn't gay. She wasn't able to give you what you gave her. You went in already knowing your sexuality. She didn't know.

She was curious, vicarious, a little bit gay, a lot of gay, whatever. She wasn't as far into it as you was. She didn't know where her sexual preference was. She was just trying that shit. She ended up liking it, but not liking it enough to be gay. That's why I think she didn't give you what you wanted her to give you. She didn't give you everything that you gave her.

You know, in a sense of just being in a relationship with it. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. Your getaway to larger than life adventures with spacious seating for eight and available Panoramic Moonroof.

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I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

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Why are you still single? You want me to tell you why you're still single? You're 23. You don't know who you are yet. You still got issues to resolve.

that are deeply rooted and you can't hold nobody else accountable for what the fuck you have going on. You don't even know what you got going on. You understand what I'm saying? I think you need to see a therapist. I think you have such a big personality and you're so passionate about this shit, you need to do it carefully. You're so passionate about being with someone, you need to be careful. You need to do it right.

You say somebody told you that you act like a nigga. You do. That's not necessarily bad, but you do. I think you need to focus on yourself. You're 23. Give yourself realistically until 27 to be in another relationship. I know you don't want to hear that shit. That's four years away from now. But I think the greater good in all this is that you're on a come up and you don't have time for distractions. You just said it at the end of this message.

You said when I focus on bitches, I'm distracted. Or no, no, no. Verbatimly, you said when I ain't focusing on bitches, when my mind ain't on bitches, I do so much better in life and all of that shit. Don't focus on bitches, as you would say. Don't focus on women. Don't focus on a relationship.

But if you really, really tired of being lonely and you don't want to just, I'm not saying you don't, you don't date. You don't have to be in a relationship. Dating and being in a relationship is something totally different. But I feel like you attach yourself very quickly to a person to, now that's your girlfriend. No, you don't have to jump in a relationship with everybody you date. That's why it's called dating until you realize that you don't want to be without this person, but you can't.

Feel like that until you know a person in and out. You got me? So I think you should focus on yourself and date. Go to new places. If you keep meeting people the same places, don't go to them places to meet people. You're attracting people that's getting shot.

There's hiding kids. You know, all that type of shit. Whatever. Everybody going to have something with them. You got shit with you. But that's why you need to work on that. Nobody is ever going to be fully healed. Nobody is ever going to be perfect. Or, you know, healed 100%. You know why? Because life goes on every day. There's new shit that happens. You run into new trauma, new obstacles. You know what I'm saying? New fights. All that type of shit. You run into that type of stuff. So we're constantly healing and evolving all the time.

new traumas are going to happen. And where you're going in the lane you're in, this industry, oh yeah, you're going to run into some obstacles. So you're going to be forever healing. You're going to forever be a work in progress. But you got a lot of fight in you. You're very passionate. I can tell when you love, you love hard. So don't waste that. Save it for the right person. But get yourself right, man. And check back in with me. I love you too.

She done took up the whole goddamn episode. I'm going to be her ass. But I really, really do appreciate that story because these are the stories that a lot of people feel like they're alone in. A lot of people have these issues where they feel lonely. They don't want to be alone, but they have so much.

Traumatic stress and and they have depression they suffer with anxiety and shit like that because they have deeply rooted issues that they haven't even that they haven't even accepted about themselves like you know you see this girl she has a habit of well had a habit.

of blaming everybody else for her being single. No, no, no. Or blaming everybody else for why they can't meet her requirements or her standards and her practices and shit. Like, no, no, no, no. We can't have a list of demands. We can't have a list of demands and we don't even know what the fuck we want. We ain't even all together.

We're not all together. My brother Desi, who opens up for me, he's a comedian. He has a joke about that, how both men and women, when he get in these relationships, they have these presentations.

Like, you know, you present this girl with a list. You present this guy with a list. Like, Fancy, something as small as, oh, this nigga got to have a house. He got to drive. He got to have a Benz. He got to have a job. And a job, he got to be making more than $25 an hour. He got to be. And then you sitting home, you ain't got no motherfucking job. You're receiving government assistance.

You got four kids with three baby daddies. Don't none of them do nothing for your kids and shit. So you're just single mother sitting home, living off of the system and shit. And, you know, you don't drive at all. You know, you know, shit like that. You ain't got yourself together. You don't even have a plan for your life. Shit like that. And vice versa.

So these list of demands, these people feel entitled and shit. That's why a relationship, especially these days, is no fucking joke. Ain't no jumping in and out. That's why I can't stay in a relationship because I was the same place she was.

Same way she was. You know what I'm saying? You got to learn who you are. I'm just now stepping into who I am. I'm just now knowing, getting to know myself in a way where it's like, oh shit, that's why I couldn't keep this man. Oh, that's why this happened. That's why. Okay. That's why. That's why. That's why. And with every person you date, you learn something about yourself.

You have to be open-minded enough to learn about yourself. Because a lot of people still will date. You got old niggas, old women, old men up in their 60s and 70s still wondering why they single. Going through life, blaming everybody else. Accountability. Sometimes you have to turn a mirror on yourself and you just have to be like, yo, fuck dating for a minute. As hard as that is, nobody wants to be by themselves. But you can date. You don't have to be in a relationship.

You can literally have a person that you communicate with. If you can't find that person, shit, pray for it. If you ain't religious, motherfucker, go out and explore new places and new things.

If you're hanging in the same places, you can get the same results. If you're doing the same shit, you can get the same results. Do something different. But that is the end of this episode. Thank you for tuning in. Make sure you tune in to Co-Parenting Therapy every other Wednesday at 7 p.m. only on YouTube. And tune in to Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday in the morning on your way to work, on your way to the gym, on your way to drop them babies off to school, or wake up, listen to it, go back to sleep if you ain't got no damn job. And in my deepest pan voice, peace.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights.

Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be shouting!

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