Jess, Fix My Mess!
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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

Welcome to Carefully Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl and host, Jess Hilarious. Listen, I'm here to talk to you about the power of attorney.

Listen, I've been taken to the liking of all the followers on the Carefully Reckless page. Let's just give the Carefully Reckless page a huge shout out. Y'all been sending them DMs and stuff to the email and all that type of stuff. And I'm going to name this episode, Just Fix My Mess. Now, this is a segment that I was doing back in season one that I stopped doing. Don't ask me why I just stopped. You know what I mean?

But I'm picking it back up now. And I asked you guys last week on the Carefully Reckless page to submit some of the most complicating situations that you're going through right now that you've been through and that you don't ever want to go through. Or if someone close to you went through something, just keep it anonymous because unlike last season, I'm not going to put anybody out there. And a lot of y'all didn't really care about me putting y'all names and Instagram handles and social media handles out there because, you know,

You just didn't care. But I'm going to keep everybody anonymous, you know, just turning over a new leaf and it'll still help people whether people know who you are or not. So these are stories gearing toward relationship problems. Okay, first one. Jess, I've been with my man for eight months. I changed a lot of shit for him, including changing my clothes when he feels that my outfits are too seductive for public.

But I feel my outfits are empowering and I don't want to change them. So I stopped. Whenever he gets upset, he screams and yells and calls me thoughts. What the fuck should I do? What's my standpoint? Because I want to leave, but I do love him. Okay. Okay. So I can see both sides. This is the thing. No man wants their woman to be walking around naked.

showing cleavage and showing body parts that only he needs to see. So I definitely do understand, you know, if he feels as if your outfits are too seductive and he wants you to change them. If you are willing to change them, if you love him that much and you're willing, then it's nothing wrong with that. Now, what is he doing to you?

That's making you not want to keep the deal like it was. And then you want to wear your titties out and shit. Like that's the thing. What is he doing? Is he not reciprocating any sacrifices or any compromise? Like you, cause that that's a compromise. I would deem that as a sacrifice. You sacrificed your style for your man because he feels some type of way about you dressing like a damn hooker. Okay. You didn't say that. I'm gonna chill out. All right. My bad.

But that's what it looks like to him. And I've been through a similar situation. You know, my previous relationship, my boyfriend did not like for me to wear my body out all the time. He didn't like for me to be twerking all over the internet and shit. Didn't like for others to see what his eyes should only see. What's for him, you know? In a sense, you belong to that person and that person belongs to you when you officialize something. Officialize is not a word, but damn it, I made it up. When you officialize, I think officiate is, but I like officialize.

When you officialize a relationship,

Meaning this is what we're doing. We are moving forward. We are together. We are one together. Not even marriage, just a relationship. You have to be secure enough. You have to set those boundaries. Look, this is what I don't like. And he told you that. But something had to happen for you to go back to wearing that shit. Maybe he's not compromising enough for you. Maybe you feel like you've been compromising for him and changing yourself and he hasn't done anything. But he has a list of demands for you.

So I don't think if you love him, you should leave. This should be a conversation piece. You should sit down and talk to him and, you know, dress up in your lingerie, girl, dress up in your goddamn lingerie and, you know, strip for him and do all of that. You know, if he likes that and then, you know, you get them all riled up, feed him some strawberries, his favorite fruit, something, give him like a nice little tease, like a nice little strip show, you know, then put it on his ass. Right.

And then tell them, babe, listen, these are my issues. This is the issue. I know that you don't like me having my body out. I know that. However, this is my issue with you. I feel like you're not compromising enough. I changed for you. I don't feel like you're changing enough for me, for me to keep on keeping up with your demands. If you want to stay, stay. I don't think this is a big deal, honestly, guys. And to all my listeners out there, y'all can give me your feedback. If y'all feel like my advice, you know, was good enough for my baby, my...

almost said a name. If you feel like it was good enough, let me know because I feel like this is not big ladies. This is not big men. They can make it through this. They just have to communicate and he has to be willing to compromise with your list of demands if you have any as well. Okay. Everything has to be reciprocated in a relationship. Okay. Moving on.

I was dating this guy for about a year, but I had never been to his house. He always would come to mine or we would get hotels and we would travel. I would post him, he would post me, but it was just something that would keep me from coming over his house. I asked him and he would always go around the situation and want to take me out or come to my house. What do you think that was about? Well, the fact that the story is described in the past tense means

I think you figured that out your damn self or did y'all break up for a whole nother reason? I don't know because you said you dated this guy for about a year. I honestly wouldn't automatically skip ahead to thinking that he had someone living with him or he was necessarily living a double life. My mind would go to, and this is only because

You said y'all posted each other. Y'all were posting each other. Y'all were going out on trips. He was with you. He was always at your house and hotels or whatever. Just whatever. That's the main reason why I wouldn't automatically go to the fact that he may have had someone else living at home or living a double life.

I will honestly say that maybe he didn't have a place to live and he could have been living with his mother or he could have been staying with a homeboy and was leading you to believe that he had his own home or whatever. Or maybe he never even spoken of it. But, you know, women minds wander. Our minds wander. If we don't know something, we'll start wondering.

running in our heads and we will make up some shit and we will get in our own way. I do feel like you should have told me a couple of his responses when you would ask him, why can't I come to your house? So let me come over. Because you said that he would always go around it. How would he go around it? What are the things that he would say? Like...

Oh, no, my shit, my house dirty right now or, you know, or I'm getting the carpet pulled up and shit like whatever. But this was a year, a year and you hadn't been to his residence. Maybe he ain't have no goddamn residence or think worst case scenario. Maybe he was homeless.

Living a double life. Maybe he did have a girlfriend at home or a wife at home or a man at home, a boyfriend at home. It doesn't matter. Nowadays, you never motherfucking know. So you have to make sure you know a person before you even solidify anything. You have to make sure that or at least that you know the basis. Because let's just be honest here. Nobody's going to ever know everything about their partner.

before they decide to make it official. It's married folks still getting to know each other right now, still learning each other right now to this day. It's people who've been in relationships for years who still don't know each and everything about each other, who still are learning each other, you know? So you have to remain cognizant of that as well. But you were supposed to give me some more meat to that damn story, girl. You definitely was. You're actually out of that based on the tense of your statements, right?

So I don't need to give you any advice, but you did ask me what I thought. Like I said, I really think that he doesn't have a home, you know, given all the factors of everything that you described. I don't think that he had anywhere to stay. I think he may have been staying with somebody or whatever like that. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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Okay, the next one is from a guy. I love when my guys write me because everybody thinks I'm just all for the women. No, I'm for the people, baby. Okay, so this one is from a guy. Why every time I get into my girl's car, the passenger seat is not how I left it. It's linked all the way back and you already know what the fuck that's giving. Damn. Okay. Okay, so he didn't pose a question at the end. He's just letting me know that...

He don't like that shit every time. So have you taken this to her? Now, this man did say I can say his name, but I'm not going to. Oh, my God. I want to call you by your name so bad. Listen, hey.

Have you talked to her about it? You need to go to her, go to her. Okay. And listen, do you have your own car? Because why are you always riding with her? Basically? No. And listen, listen, no, I'm not down to you. If you don't have a car, that's fine. If you don't have a car and if you don't have a car,

And she does. And she is your only means of transportation. Is that the reason why you haven't brought this up to her? If you haven't, because you feel like, all right, it's her car. You know, I ain't driving right now. But every time I get in this motherfucking car, this shit linked all the way back. I'm guessing further than when you lean it back. That's what I'm guessing, because you said it's never how you left it.

Okay, so that means one, you're always in her passenger seat. So that means you're never driving. And then two, you pay attention, motherfucker. That's what that means. You pay attention. I do get it. You have to talk to her. You have to talk to her. Some girls lean all the way back. She might have a homegirl or she might have a guy in the car. It may not be somebody that she's fucking with.

It may be, I don't know, it could be a homeboy, a cousin. Like, do you know of a guy best friend that she has? Like, you have to sit down and talk. These are so childish to me. These are childish. And the reason why I'm deeming it as childish, guys, because these are just one, two questions that you can talk to your mate about.

If you ain't scared, you know what I mean? You can go and talk to your girlfriend about that. You're supposed to be able to call your bitch and be like or go in the house and be like, yo, come here, come here, come go in and get her ass up if she sleep or go get out the kitchen if she cooking. Take her, pull her away from the TV. Listen, come here. Let me show you this real quick. Take her ass outside by her hand. Lead her around the car. Open up that goddamn door.

Show her, yo, this ain't how I left it. What's this? Like, you know, talk to her, ask her. And I guarantee you, you either going to get the truth or you ain't. But whatever her response is, you going to know what happened. Whatever the fucking response is, you going to be able to get the truth. You will know something ain't right or you was just overreacting. You said every time you get in there.

So either she is frequently cheating or she not. It got to be the same person. If the shit always link back, it got to be the same person. And if she is cheating, that means this bitch love niggas that don't drive.

That's what I'm just going to keep it simple for you, baby. She just, she love the fact that y'all depend on her. She love the fact that y'all need her. A lot of women love to be needed. They love to be a necessity to a man. You get what I'm saying? They love for a man to depend on them. I need for you to get your own car. And if you in her house, get the fuck up out of there too. Because if there is another man in her car, every time you get out, it is another man in her house every time you leave out. So I need for you to understand that, brother. And we going to move on.

We got another man. Yes, Lord. I love it. Yo, my baby mother has been receiving child support, but my baby is well taken care of by me and her. We both work and have jobs. So why the fuck am I on child support, right? She uses the money to buy nice things for herself. What the fuck?

You'll say, what the fuck? I get it. It makes you upset. And listen, on a more serious note, these women, they do that shit. There are mothers out here like that. There are men out here, these fathers who are taking care of their children and they are still on child support. Shit, I know men that keep their kids primarily single fathers who are on fucking child support. Literally, like my father was just one of them.

My father was just on child support for his daughter and his daughter lives with him. My little sister was living with him and still was on child support. You feel me? Like it's just hard. Once you go on, it's hard as shit to get you off. That's why I always tell ladies, listen, if you don't need to put him on child support, if you absolutely don't need to, and you're not doing it out of spite and you really, really fucking need child support.

Don't put him on there unless you really need it because it's hard as fuck to get a man off. And that's not the way you hit below the belt. If a guy is really taking care of his child and you don't need the state for those extra benefits and you don't need to go through the courts to get him to take care of your child, don't do it. All the other personal shit don't have nothing to do with the baby. Seriously. And I know this sounds like cliche, but this is real life shit that women go through and men go through. My

My son's dad, Rome, little baby father, he on child support. Two of his kids' moms have him on child support because them bitches was mad at him. Not because he don't take care of his kids. He still take care of his kids. What y'all don't understand is when y'all do that shit out of feelings and all that type of shit and y'all get back cool with the nigga, then y'all feel bad. Then y'all try to take him off. But the state don't work like that.

No, they're not just going, oh, he good this week? Are we going to take him off and shit? No, it's so many loopholes and so many hurdles and obstacles you have to jump through and go through and conquer to get a man off of child support. It's not that fucking easy. And then also, when you put a man on child support who's taking care of his child, you're actually taking away from what the child could potentially have if they weren't on child support. Because even with my son's dad, he's on child support for one of his kids.

He was doing so much more for her before he was put on child support. So it's like, damn, you done fucked that up because you mad because the nigga ain't with you. But he's still taking care of his baby and you had the baby. So he would stay with you. But you got to understand also that these men are not staying for these babies. A baby cannot keep a man. And that is very selfish to a child. Very selfish. So I'm sorry, brother. I'm so, so, so sorry.

But you need to take that shit to the courts, okay? You need to be able to provide proof that your daughter or your son or I don't know if it's children are well taken care of. You know, you need to seek counsel and, you know, try to get custody or joint custody or something like that that will help you out in that situation because I know how that looks and I know how that feels. There's been many a times that my son's dad has cried over that shit like, yo, I'm literally going broke, childless.

trying to take care of my kids and pay child support. Why the fuck do I have to do both when I'm already taking care of them? You know, so I definitely do understand your frustration and I'm sorry about that, brother. Because a lot of times these women ain't shit. These mothers ain't shit, child. Lord. Now we got a commercial and if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.

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State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. OK, moving on. I broke up with my nigga. Oh, my God. Stop saying nigga. This is a young girl right here. I broke up with my nigga. And the crazy thing is I started falling for his best friend.

His best friend is the one that I wanted from the jump, but he was in a relationship already. I broke up with my boyfriend around the same time he broke up with his girlfriend. Would that be bad if we started to link? Bitch, let me tell you something. The way you just asked me that motherfucking question.

You already linking with this nigga. Don't sit here. Don't sit here and try to. Yeah, I'm talking to you because I know you listening. All right. Don't sit here and try to act like you ain't already make up in your mind that she was going to fuck with that nigga before you broke up with his friend. Don't do that. Okay. You know, I ain't for this shit.

I ain't for it. You know, I support a lot of fuck shit sometimes. I support a lot of ratchety. You know, I support a lot of ghetto-ness. I do. A lot of messy shit, but not this. That is nasty as fuck. And they're not just friends. They ain't just homeboys. Bitch, they not coworkers. Okay? They're best friends.

You just said to me you had your eye on a best friend before you even pursued his homeboy. It must have been a reason why you wasn't able to date this nigga. He was in a relationship, right? So you played house with his homeboy and monitored his relationship the whole time because y'all just out of nowhere coincidentally broke up at the same time. Broke up with y'all boyfriend and girlfriend at the same damn time and you asking me would it be wrong for y'all to link. You motherfucking right. It's wrong that you fucking that nigga. Oh,

Yep, I ain't even going to answer it like you didn't already go see him. Stop playing. And honestly, I'm going to take it a step further. You might have been fucking around with the best friend while you was with your boyfriend. And the poor boyfriend don't know and the poor girlfriend don't know. I hope they all listening because that's nasty. And her name is Stasia. I'm going to put you out there, bitch. Anastasia is her name. Anastasia, right? 277.

All right, I ain't going to put out the whole Instagram. I just got mad at that because that's some nasty ass shit, girl. You already know I wasn't going to agree with that shit. I'm moving on from that. That's disgusting. Okay, moving on.

Okay. Ooh, I like this one. Hey, Jess, I am a wealthy author. Okay. I have four books out and I'm on my fifth one. I am currently engaged and about to get married. I presented the idea of a prenup to my fiance and he refused to sign it. Am I wrong for that?

Well, let me ask you a question and you're going to eventually write me back. Is that a deal breaker for you that he won't sign it? I need some more information. I need some more meat. I need to know how long y'all been together. Were you struggling with him before? Like, was he with you when you didn't have anything? If you, if you've ever had nothing, you know what I mean? Maybe you have never been in that predicament. I'm not, not trying to put that on you. I'm just saying you're

Was he there? You know what I mean? Prenups are always scary for people because there's been a stigma put on them. A prenup is an agreement that you sign prior to marriage that states you leave this marriage like you came in. You leave this marriage with whatever you bought to this marriage. That's what a prenup is put in place for. Okay.

Now, without the prenup, if you guys get a divorce, she would then have to give up half of everything that she worked hard for, even if he didn't have anything to do with it. Half of it will go to him, you know, and then depends on any other things that their lawyers work out or whatever. But is it a deal breaker for you? I can't even really speak on it until I know, you know, because I'm going to give you this. Charlamagne Tha God just sat down and did an interview, right? And I love him, by the way. He and his wife, they don't have a prenup. And he explained the reason why.

She's always been down for me. She was my ride or die. When I was in between jobs, that woman was taking me to work, helping me fill out applications. She was paying all the bills. There were times where I didn't know I didn't have a damn job and she was still grinding. She was helping me and taking care of everything, you know, and our kids and just all of that shit. I could never present her with a fucking prenup is what he's saying. I would never. That's my best friend. That's my, you know.

She deserves half of that shit if we ever get a divorce, but we ain't getting no fucking divorce is what he said. You have to be sure when you walking down that aisle that

You don't even expect to be divorced. A lot of people get married with the notion that they're not going to be together forever. Or maybe we won't make it to the end. These days, it is just like people date with options open, keeping options open because they're so scared that the shit won't work. You can't date like that. You can't marry someone like that. You can't be in a marriage unsure. I got to be able to know if I'm walking around with a ring on and I got a husband, I ain't thinking about no motherfucking divorce.

I ain't think about none of that shit. Even if we going through some shit, I ain't thinking about canceling my contract on this nigga. Cause that's exactly what a marriage is. A contract before God, whether you want to look at it like that or not. Shit.

We're not breaching no motherfucking contract. We ain't doing it. I mean, we're not breaking no fucking contract. Even if you breach the contract with infidelity, with lies, whatever. All right, we're going to sit down. We're going to think about this. We're going to, you know, it's other routes to take real quick separation. And we're going to figure out if I'm better over here and you better over there. And then we can talk about divorce. But that shit shouldn't even be on your mind when you're getting married or before you even walk down the aisle. You know what I mean? They're in the engagement phase.

Is that a deal breaker for you, woman?

By the way, I just want to take a moment to congratulate you on your fifth book. I congratulate your wealth. I congratulate even your engagement. I'm so happy. You're a woman. You're doing your thing. Let me know about your book. You didn't even say your, you know, maybe you didn't want nobody to know who you were. I get it. Definitely. That's probably why. But I will support your books because I read sometimes, you know, just sometimes, but I'll be reading or whatever. And I got a lot of people that will read to me, you know, if I don't want to read. So yeah.

But I definitely do understand how you feel, baby girl. It's just a conversation. It's a conversation and it shouldn't be a hard one, even if it is. Are you willing to even set there for it? Are you willing to do the work? You're not even married to this man yet, but there is a reason why you're engaged. So don't forget that.

And just like that, we come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode. Just Fix My Mess is the new segment that I got going on right now. The new and improved segment that I got going on right now. Make sure you write to the carefully reckless page followed by Jess Hilarious underscore official. You can go right to my follows. I'm only following seven people.

Find the page there, submit your inquiries, submit your questions, submit anything that you need advice on and any other topics that you want to hear me touch on. I love you guys. Tune in every week. Next week, hump day, Carefully Reckless. And then my deepest pan voice. Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

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