Match My Fly or Bye Bye Bye
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Nice to ask, nice to ask.

And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another episode of Carefully Reckless with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Now listen, I had the pleasure, the honor of going to sit down with Gilly and Wildo Crazy Asses, them niggas from Philly. They got a podcast. It's called Million Dollars Worth a Game. Now I love these niggas. They cool. And before I went up there, I had already knew to brace myself, right? Now look.

That's kind of what the topic is about today. It's story time about my own self. All right. So grab your tea, grab your halls because these niggas had me fucked up. All right. So look, one of the topics was being single. Now, neither one of them niggas are single, but they want to ask if I'm single or not. And they know goddamn well that I am. Everybody knows that I am. All right.

So, Gilly asked me, he just had to be the one. Jess, you single? I say, yeah. He said, okay, okay. I thought that was going to be it. Wildo straight cut him off. Wildo said, okay, damn, what niggas need to do to get a shot at you? Look at the camera right now and tell a nigga how they can have a shot with Jess Hilarious.

I say, yo, you just got to be real. You got to understand that I'm a hood bitch. You got to be able to have your own money. You got to be able to match my shit. If you don't make more than me, you still got to make something of that stature. You know, you got to be up there. You know what I'm saying? And you know what up there means if you up there. If you're not, then you know you're not. You know what I mean? So, Wildo cut me off and he goes, you know, you know when Wildo get to talking, he can't stop. This nigga says, so you mean to tell me that you can't date a cashier at Walmart or a pizza delivery boy or, you know, like a driver or...

No. I said very calmly, I'm like, no. Gillyquad, high, dumb, standing, sitting there looking like, okay, cool. She said, no, let's move to the next question. No, Y-Lo is trying to force me to...

to be with these types of niggas. He like, nah. So you mean like, what if he a manager at Target? Like, you know, cause you know, you've been there shopping for towels and soap and all of that stuff. You know, y'all girls go there to get y'all lip glosses and shit. Like, what if you see him in the aisles? I'm like, nah, I'm never gonna see a manager in the aisles cause managers don't roam the aisles. You know what I'm saying? I noticed because I've been a manager. We stay in the office, not doing shit, watching the cameras. You know what I'm saying? He's like, nah, nah, nah, nah. But what if it was the, then Gilly cut him off

Like, yo, she said no, nigga. No. Now, fast forward to when they posted about this shit. I got a lot of backlash from the men. They did the same thing to me that they were doing to B Simone. Now, listen, it's a preference.

It's a fucking preference. My preference is not to deal with a guy who has, you know, a job of that stature. No, you can't be a cashier fucking with me. No, you can't be a pizza delivery boy fucking with me. No, you can't be a manager at Target fucking with me. Now, listen, I'm not saying nobody with a nine to five. That's not what I said.

That's what B. Simone said. You can't have no nine to five. And she gave up a good reason because nine to five niggas don't understand what she do. You know what I mean? Whether that was her real reason or not. All right. She gave a reason. But still, everybody jumped on her ass because that was her preference. I don't understand why to this day that a lot of guys got mad at her for that. A lot of females got mad at her for that. My preference is you just got to have a certain type of job. You can have a job because believe it or not,

I don't want to date a celebrity. No, I do not. I do not want to date an athlete. I don't want to date an actor. I don't want to date a rapper. I don't want to date another comedian again in my life. No, I do not. I'd rather have a working man. Now you do have to have a certain type of job. Like, okay, you can be a principal. You know, you can be a professor. You can be a therapist. You know, you can be a doctor, work at the hospital. You know what I'm saying? Like,

All types of shit. Own your own business. Something like that. Work your way up. Okay, cool. I didn't say no nine to fives. Just a certain type of nine to five. What the fuck is wrong with that? Yes, I used to be a cashier. Even when I was a cashier, I didn't date another cashier.

You know what I'm saying? Yes, I used to work for FedEx. Yes. Did I want another package handler to be my boyfriend? No, the fuck I didn't. I'm not making fun of anybody. No, man. If you have a job, that's good. That's bettering yourself. Having a job is something that's very, very hard, especially for black men, for certain black men. You understand what I'm saying? But then you got your black men who don't want to work.

but they don't want to do shit. I don't want to work for the white man. Nigga, you're not trying to work for your damn self. So, you know, you got those types of guys. Now, I've had my share of every type. All right? I have fucked with a broke nigga before. I have fucked with a guy who worked with UPS before. Like Chris, my ex-boyfriend. He worked at UPS. Okay? And...

after a few months he quit and then he came to work for me and then he was supposed to build his own business off of the money he was making off of me and off of the the y'all say clout I call it the platform that he had built off of me my coattail I don't give a fuck y'all feel offended I'm gonna tell it like it is you know I'm saying he built his K off of my M and what did he do with that and

Not a goddamn thing. I have put men in positions to make something of themselves, to be entrepreneurial. I've done that.

It didn't work. It can only happen with a certain type of guy. You can't have a childish ass mentality. You can't have a broke ass mentality. You have to have some type of ambition. I can't raise a man. You're not supposed to raise a man that you're supposed to be with. You're not supposed to raise him. That was his parents job. They failed him. I didn't know what the fuck was going on at the white. The wild niggas started stealing from me, but she was already making money. All you had to do was nigga. What?

So when I say I have upped the ante within my standards of men, yes, I do deserve a motherfucker with some money. Yes, I do. Because I done had too many of them without. So why the fuck don't I get to say what my standard is? Why the fuck can't I have a preference now? Because my preference back then was bullshit, as I can see. But it's always something about a woman wanting to help a man, no matter where he came from. You know what I'm saying? I done fucked with jailbirds,

You know what I'm saying? That done lied to me, told me what it was going to be when he got home. I done held the nigga down, put money on his books, made sure his family was good. Nigga, I'm checking up on your kids and making sure your baby mother good and all that shit. You come home and you ain't with me or her. You found a whole nother bitch. Like all of that. You know, you put a lot of your hope and a lot of your trust and a lot of your money into niggas to get a slap in the face. That has happened to me four times. There will not be a fifth.

So no, now my preference is a nigga who got some money. I'm not talking about so you can take me on shopping sprees and...

and all that shit and blow your money, you know, frivolously on me. No, I'm not talking about that shit. That's not what I'm talking about. So we can buy some properties together so we can do something together. You got to match my shit. What if I say, babe, let's open up a restaurant? What if I say, let's go buy some land, build some houses and, and, you know, create our own community so motherfuckers can move into a black owned community. What if I want to say that?

I'm not going to do that shit on my own and then bring you in. No, we got to do that shit together. That's what the fuck I want. I want somebody who can match me. Like I said, you don't even got to be having as much money as I do, but you got to have something and you got to be working to get there. Now let's kick it over to a brief break.

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Everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available tour capacity of up to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains.

Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Everybody can be better at something like even me. Am I happy where I am? Yes, but I'm not going to get comfortable here. No, everybody can be better than they are.

Even people like Beyonce, you think she okay with where she at? We look at her. She's the most perfect woman in the world. Richest woman in the world. It can't get no better. But in her mind, that's her mentality. That's why she is where she is because she always believes she can do better. You understand? You're not supposed to stop anywhere. That's the type of man that I'm looking for. That's the type of man that I'm in search of. That is the type of man that I want.

You know what I'm saying? Some ambition, some commitment to something. Not commitment as in relationship. Okay, no, I'm talking about commit to making something better of yourself. You know what I'm saying? If you work at UPS, work up to be the manager. Matter of fact, while you working there, create your own transportation company, just like Amazon did, just like DHL. It's not easy, but if you work and work and work and keep working, you will get there. Like it's this boxer I was talking to, right? He's from Baltimore City.

He wanted to own a bunch like a chain of readers. He wanted to buy a chain of readers. The Italian ice shit. He wanted to buy a bunch of Dunkin Donuts, a bunch of Subways. He wanted to buy like he wanted to have like 15 franchises. I remember him telling me at dinner one time. I said, OK, cool. You know, that's how it work. He said, I know. And they're not going to give it to me off the rip. I'm not going to get it easy as a white man would. But I'm going to do that shit. This was two years ago.

We lost contact, whatever, whatever, bop, bop, bop. He never stopped boxing. Boxing is where he get his money, money from. But now that nigga got five readers. He got five ducking donuts to go and five subways to buy. He gonna do it. He sat in my face two years ago and told me he was gonna do it. Had an ex leave him because she didn't believe he was gonna do it.

She, that's not only why she left him. She left him because he was basically using up all the money to do this shit, but she didn't see the bigger picture. You feel me? She got fed up and she left. Just like the movie, uh, acrimony or some shit. What was it with, uh, with Taraji P. Henson, whatever. She didn't believe in a guy's dream long enough.

Fast forward now, he's in the process of doing exactly what he set across for me and told me he was going to do. That's the type of nigga that I'm after. That's the type of guy that get my pussy wet. That's the type of guy that I see myself with. Not just fucking. I see myself with.

He did time in jail. He still got a little hood with him, but he very classy, clean up nice, sexy as hell. And if you listening, jump in my DM booth because I miss you. What? But yeah, that's the shit I'm talking about right there. You set out to conquer a plan, to conquer a task so big

That nobody, nobody believes in you when you telling them this shit, because a lot of people can talk a good game. So understand when I say my preference is a guy who has a certain, a certain nine to five. It has to be something near my stature of money. That's just what it is. It was such a relief when I dated Country Wayne after dating somebody like Chris.

I was so programmed to paying the tab every time we went out to eat to, you know, when me and Wayne would be out somewhere and he tried to get me to taste that nasty as vegan food. Shout out to him. I love my ex to death, but no, baby, I want, you know, I wasn't gonna be no goddamn vegan. I would find myself reaching in my purse. Like, all right, he'd be like, what? You think you about to pay for what? Yeah. All right. Like, this ain't that I do this, you know, we'd be out.

He would just think of me, buy me shit. You know what I'm saying? Like that. And that's not what I require. That's not a requirement for you to, to splurge and buy me bags and buy me. I can do that shit myself. You know what I'm saying? Like I can do that myself. I don't need a guy to take me shopping every day to prove his love. No, no. But when that nigga Dwayne Coley, AKA country Wayne said to me, do you want to go to Puerto Rico? Let's get away. And I said, what's,

All right, we splitting it down a half. He said, why would I split a trip? I'm telling you, I want to take you on. Stop playing with me. He couldn't believe, couldn't believe how conditioned I was by my previous relationship. Always was paying for everything after a while. Like, and then yo,

Chris had money coming in. He just got lazy, got comfortable and started being a bum slowly but surely. You know what I'm saying? That's what happens. That wasn't the only time I was in a relationship where that happened. And no, I haven't always been up. But even when I was broke, I didn't prefer a man who worked any nine to five. I didn't.

Yeah, I had standards. Yeah, I was broke. I'm talking about lights out everything. I've shared this with y'all before. If y'all are avid listeners, y'all know I never let my son stuff. I would go to bed hungry, but I will be fucking with niggas and not even tell them. Oh, yeah, you dropping me off to a powerless house, buddy. You drop. I just wouldn't let you come in. No, that's it. No, you don't need to come in. Period.

That's how strong I was. That's how my pride was. So nobody can ever call me a gold digger because I would have been a gold digger from the fucking jump. I dug my own gold, got my own shit. But it feels good to have a motherfucker to match you. Feels good. After not having that for so long, that was why it was such a relief. And that's why me and Wayne are friends today. We share more than just a relationship. We actually got to know each other after getting together.

He showed me more than just what all of y'all seen. He's a really, really good dude. That is what my preference is. A guy that can match me or you can have more money or have just a little bit less than me. But you got to have something because I'm done with building niggas. And that's just what it is. And that's vice versa. Just like I got a preference. Y'all niggas got preference.

Maybe y'all don't prefer to deal with a bitch like me. Y'all don't prefer to deal with a female like me. Why? My voice deep. Why? I seen the comments. Oh, it's a lot of testosterone up in shorty. Oh my God. The masculinity is on 10. Oh, she had to be born a nigga. And I'm going to tell you right now.

I'ma tell you right now, I will have your weak ass in love. You don't know, you only see that side that y'all see on IG. You only seen that side, you're judging me 'cause of my voice or how much of a Baltimore bitch I am. That's what you're judging, but you don't know. To know me and to know me like that is to love me. Nigga, you'll never leave. I'm talking about going all the way back to even my baby father. I know how to treat a man and I've never, ever, ever lost one that wouldn't come back. You understand what I'm saying? Period.

This is before Jess Hilarious, when I was just regular dirty Jess from around the way, period. Always knew how to treat a man. I got that from my mother. Y'all got mad at Ari Fletcher, Moneybagg Yo's girlfriend, months ago for saying, why y'all mad at me because I don't like to fuck with broke niggas? That's her fucking preference. That's what she prefers. Apparently, before G Herbo, she been fucking with niggas with money. That's just who Ari is. That's who she's been.

I understood that. Period. Like, if that's her preference and she getting these niggas, what the fuck y'all mad for? What y'all mad for?

Now, Portia Williams, gold digger. That's what that's given to me. The only guy, like, I swear to God, I feel like she really, really fucking loved and he broke her heart was Cordell. That was the first guy that I seen that we actually seen her with when she first got on the show and shit. You know what I'm saying? Cordell, he fucked her over real bad. So did the baby father nigga. But that's some gold digger shit. Y'all talking about me. Bitch, that's gold digger shit. What Portia got going on. Don't confuse me with that.

That's not what I do. I tried to help these niggas. I'm telling you, some of them are just unhelpful. And like I said, it's vice versa. Even with a guy, you think men want to date a broke bitch?

You think that you got celebrities that say it in their music all the time. You know what I'm saying? And I love Chris Brown to death. I love him to goddamn death. But he even said in the song Loyal, I can make a broke bitch rich, but I don't fuck with broke bitches. Ouch. And listen, do you know why that man said that? I ain't even got to call him up and ask him. And yes, I do got his number. I know y'all not getting it. But yes, I do not even have to call him up.

He don't want a broke bitch because all they're going to do is leech. If you're the breadwinner and you running into a broke bitch, she see to come up. It's destined for her to leech off you. That's broke bitches with broke mentalities. Now it's broke people out here that really want to get it for themselves that really make the best out of situations and end up coming up because they know what to do with the money.

Like Pleasure P, he was another one on his page the other day. This shit hit the blogs. Shout out to Neighborhood Talk. Pleasure P posted, you want me to fly you out so you can lay up under me, reap all the money and all that type of shit to fly you back home and all that? Instead of having me put you in a position to get your own business so you can be making money just like me? Y'all are weird. Y'all women are weird. These new women are weird.

And I went through them comments and y'all would not believe not one woman agreed with him. Yo, bitches was in the comments. Like I'm talking about comment after comment. If you broke, just say that. What? Like, what the fuck? Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to ChumbaCasino.com. It's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba Casino has over 100 online casino-style games all online.

absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus now at ChumpaCasino.com. Sponsored by Chumpa Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Void where prohibited by law. 18 plus terms and conditions apply. People's minds aren't even wired right anymore with common sense. Like, are you stupid? It's the same with men. Like, we don't want broke niggas.

Men don't want broke women. You understand that? And especially your mentality behind it. Now, I know women who ain't got a pot to fucking piss in. But talking about, oh, no, my nigga need to have this and need to have this. No, you're not fucking if you ain't got this and you ain't got this. You ain't got not a piece of ambition in the fucking world. You don't got nothing going for yourself. Not a piece of longevity and no type of business. Not one ounce of business mind do you have.

And you talking about, oh, you got a whole list of fucking A1 standards for a nigga. No, I don't agree with that. But that's a different story. That's who the ones y'all need to be attacking in them comments. It was so many mad men under that comment. Like, that's why she gonna be single forever. And even if I am, I'm gonna be paid and I'm gonna be able to love myself.

Y'all niggas don't love y'allself. See, y'all wouldn't have been offended if y'all were working on y'allself. That's what I'm talking about. If you work on yourself, you wouldn't get offended. If you working and you striving to be something greater than you already are, if you wasn't moving so stagnantly in your life, if you wasn't comfortable where you at, you know what I'm saying? If you didn't get comfortable where you at, which is almost no fucking where, then you wouldn't be offended. Being offended is easier than doing something about it. Bitch.

being offended is the new trend I say that wholeheartedly and proudly because it is I ain't never seen so many weak ass men in my life and the reason why I say you weak is because you you're a punk nigga you let what I say you let that shit like really make you curse me out really like make you point out what you feel are my flaws man nobody want her bald head trash talking red ass anyway and

And y'all the same nigga selling weed, waking up to sell weed. Go buy a fucking dispensary, nigga. Go do that because there's money in cannabis. Ain't no money on these streets. Is you goofy? Stop playing. Build. If you sell weed, grab a bunch of your homeboys. Y'all go into business together. Open up a dispensary. Do that. You got to want more for yourself. So again, don't get upset because a woman has a preference.

And just like that, that's my time. Look, I love y'all because y'all love me. There was no just fix my mess today because I ain't focusing on y'all. Y'all got me fucked up. So y'all fix yourselves, sir. So you can be something. If you don't got nothing to do, go find you something to do and keep practicing so you can be the best at it. Do you hear me?

Go work on yourself so you won't be offended by a woman's preference. All right? All right. And just like that, I'm going to end it on that note. Tune in every week because y'all love me and I love y'all back. Y'all already know what it is. And in my deepest testosterone-ial voice. Peace, nigga.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be...

from the rooftop! So, grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trade-in of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256GB for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details. Music