Mean Mama
24:09 Share

Life is an act of constant reinvention.

That's true for you and for cars. Nissan reimagined the all-new Kicks around you. The Bose Personal Plus sound system with speakers in the headrests keep you in the groove, while the Nissan Safety Shield 360 technologies keep you safe. If Nissan reinvented the Kicks, you can reinvent yourself. Drive the all-new, reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information.

ABC, January 8th. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy, Shifting Gears. Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So, a couple of days. When his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended up.

Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪

And just like that, we're back with yet another Catholically Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. This week, Taylor is in here with me. Say hi to Taylor, y'all. Say hi, Taylor. Hi. Nice. She back, y'all. All right. But I'm going to read this time and she's just going to help me fix the mess. All right? All right.

So we're going to jump straight into it. What's good, Jess? I need your opinion on something. Well, I need to know if I'm right or wrong for this. So me and my best friend have been best friends for about 20 out of 22 years of our life. Okay, so you're 22. You met your best friend at two? Bitch, how do you remember that? Bitches be lying to me like a motherfucker. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. Which means we are super close. We grew up in two different households. Mines. Mines is not a word. Mine was...

was more family-oriented, and hers was more strict and discombobulated. Sorry, but it's true. Growing up, her mom didn't really let her go anywhere and was also hard on her. I never understood why. My girl always had great grades, she's a great person, and no one ever really had problems out of her. Her mom used to talk about the way she dressed and just belittled her in ways that wasn't too recognizable until we got older. It's

Even on our senior graduation day, her mother made her cry so bad because she didn't want to take a picture with her. She said she looked like she was about to sell some ass. Damn. Oh, my gosh. And she actually looked really nice. Her mother also said in front of so many people, I was so embarrassed for her, Jess. What the fuck she say? Oh, she's saying her mother also said that in front of a whole bunch of people. So she was just embarrassed. OK, I got you. I got you.

A week after, she decided to move out, which I helped her move into her new place just to get a peace of mind. She always looked up to her mom. So how the fuck? How do you look up to a bitch like that? Damn. She got a mother like, what's the lady? Yeah, Precious and Carrie. I was going back to the movie Carrie and shit. But yeah, definitely. She always looked up to her mom. So it was kind of hard to see for herself how she was breaking her down.

That was just a little backstory so it can help back up what I'm about to say. LMAO. Okay, here you go. So now two years later, Bestie just bought her new home. Of course, I knew about it, but she wanted to tell her mom as some surprising news. I already knew how that was about to go. So Bestie and I just came back from lunch and went to pick her mom up so we can show her the new place.

Child, as soon as we pull up, she's like, who house is this? This yours? Bessie was so excited. Like, yes, ma, I got to show you the inside. Her mom going to ask her, who on the lease? And why you need a house so big? Girl, I just went back and sat in the car. Hey, yo, you went back to the car?

Mind of my business because, like, what? Why does it matter? Just be happy for your daughter. Damn. Yeah, I definitely get it. But anyways, once she was done showing her the house, which was an amazingly fast tour, by the way. First of all, she's 20? That's...

Go in your house. Like, what the hell? Right. And you're not even worried about that. Like, you're not even looking at, like, your daughter grew up fast. You know what I'm saying? It's like, damn, accomplishments early. So I know people in their 30s and 40s and even 50s who ain't got their own house. Yes. And that's fucked up. That she would, like, overshadow all of that with questions and interrogating her.

All right. So after she showed it a fast tour, she took her home. The drive was so awkward. Bestie would try to engage with her mom and she would just respond so short and nonchalant. As Bestie and I drove home, I finally decided that it was time. Time to tell her about how I felt about her mom.

To sum it up, I called her mom a hater and said that she's been hating on her for years. And Jess, when I say she went off on me, she did. I don't know if she's just being in denial or what it is, but it's definitely the truth. I wasn't trying to overstep, but that's exactly what I felt like after telling her. And whole time, I'm just trying to look out for her. She dropped me off and we haven't spoken since. Damn.

It's been a week. We usually talk every day, and I just feel so bad. I texted her a few times, and now she's giving me the cold shoulder. Like I said some crazy shit to her when, in all honesty, my intentions were genuine. I need your honest opinion and feedback. What do you think? Do you think I was wrong? First and foremost, no, I don't think you were wrong. Y'all been best friends since she was damn two. And that's crazy because you remember that. But...

I don't think that you were wrong. I've seen like, I've seen something like this before. But look, Taylor, I got this new thing I do where somebody has written me a story that I've never seen before. Like, because, you know, people write similar stories all the time. Right. But I got this thing. We got one.

So that's literally like what we got. I call this an exclusive story, right? Because we've never heard anything like this before on Just Fix My Mess. Again, like I said, I've known people that has gone through this. And then we've even seen movies like this. We've seen Precious. We've seen Carrie. We've seen other movies. But even in Precious though, she knew her mom wasn't good though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, she still loved her mother. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, she knew her mom wasn't good. Yeah, and you know what? The difference between Precious and that girl, Precious...

Didn't go off on nobody that told her that she didn't need to be with her mother. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know what that part is about. Shut up, y'all. I don't know what that part was about, but this is what I do think. I think that your friend's mom is jealous of her. Well, it could be one of two things because I've seen this. You know what I'm saying? I've seen this. It could be that she hates me.

Because sometimes people have kids, women have kids by men before getting to know them. And then they realize that they don't want the kid, but the kid is already here. You know, something happens and, and,

You have this constant reminder of the person that just took you through hell, the person that you don't even know why you was pregnant by. And, you know, especially when they look like the motherfucker. It's like, you know, while I understand that it's wrong, it's very wrong because one, the kid didn't ask to be here.

And you willingly had the kid. You get what I'm saying? Just because something happened with the father does not mean that that falls on the child, you know, so you can't treat the child away because of who you conceived with. I noticed that happens a lot. Like I said, I know people. And then the second thing, her childhood, the mom's childhood.

She could be projecting what her mom did to her. You understand what I'm saying? Now, sometimes it goes different ways. Sometimes people get treated like shit when they're younger. So all they want to do is be good parents.

to their kids. That's why most, a lot of those people, they want families so they, they can give the family, they can give their kids what they didn't have growing up. You know what I'm saying? Like I do, I do see it like that. Um, but sometimes your trauma can make you the very person that you despise. You know what I'm saying? And, and, and you can actually, um,

Yeah, basically just be like the person that fucked you over. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Life is an act of constant reinvention. That's true for you and for cars. Nissan reimagined the all new kicks around you. The Bose Personal Plus sound system with speakers in the headrests keep you in the groove while the Nissan Safety Shield 360 technologies keep you safe.

If Nissan reinvented the kicks, you can reinvent yourself. Drive the all-new, reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can't prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information. Hey, fam.

If you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long-term success.

They've been a steady presence in our communities and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference.

State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more at statefarm.com.

So I think either her mom didn't have a good upbringing, you know, and this is just a generational thing. Like, you know, and she's going to have to break that cycle with your best friend. Because she, I still can't figure out the defensive part other than she loves her mother. Like, she really just, like...

It's like she sees the good in her. Yeah. And she really is hoping that it changes. Because she says she looks up to her. What do you think? I know someone actually, not necessarily like that, but I know someone that I don't know how, in a sense, she loves her mom. Yeah. Because certain stuff that her mom did to her. Mm-hmm.

This is... And you can tell the mom has her own trauma that she didn't deal with. But she... Again, her mom's not like that where she kind of just keeps critiquing her. It's just her mom just got issues, whatever. But...

I don't think she did anything wrong. No. I think she needs to face the truth of how her mom acts towards her, though. And that's being her best friend. She should understand and she should just try and keep it real with her. Yeah. She's going to see things that she don't see. Yeah. And I think, what if she sees it, but... She don't want to... Yeah. She don't want to, like, she's in denial about it. It's like, when I say denial, I mean like,

she's not ready to open that can yet you know what i mean like uh no because like i said she could still see the good in her mom because like even even for precious before precious got fed up and she went to that social worker and i forgot mariah carey was in that movie mariah carey was looking a hot ass mess i've never seen mariah carey look crazy like that that's why i can't believe mariah carey agreed to look a hot ass mess like that or to play a social worker oh

well, we can't talk about it. Because remember when she did MTV Cribs and even how she was acting? Yes! Like, damn, it's like, we never seen her with a bad day.

So I know she probably like, no, and this is just the role, bitch. Like, you know what I'm saying? But like, I have never seen Mariah Carey. That's why I forgot. I forgot. I'm like, until you watch the shit, you were like, oh shit, Paula Patton was the teacher. And it's like, oh shit, Mariah Carey did look like she was on crack. You know what I'm saying? But it is what it is. You know, she's a very beautiful woman and that's what it is. And it's her holiday right now. So shout out to Mariah Carey. But even before Precious,

got fed up with her mother. You know what I'm saying? Like, she... Right before she threw that TV or piano or something, she threw out the window at her ass. A TV or something, right? Like...

Precious was still trying to help her mother and shit and give her the benefit of the doubt. And Precious' mom... She just wanted her mom to like her. Yeah, to like her. It's like this neediness of, maybe I have to do this so like me. Yeah, because it's your mom and you only get one. You know what I mean? And it's like, yo, what am I doing wrong? So kids start to blame themselves. The child starts to blame themselves if they don't get help early to realize this is not normal. You know, because if you grow up like that,

then this is normal to you. This is your normal. Yeah. Yeah, that's normal to her. Yeah, she got a lot of issues. Because she's like, she acts like, well, again, I don't know if this is how her friend acts, but acts like, okay, maybe if I do that, like she's very, it's like she's trying to get approval by everyone, though, based off, I think, her.

Her mom, that's my thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because like her wanting to take her mom so bad to show that house off to her like, yo, mom, this is what I accomplished. And she knows her mom. I don't know if she thought her mom would react like that. I just think that she was just like, oh, maybe if I show her this house, this is going to make her love me. This is going to make her acknowledge me. This is going to make, you know what I'm saying? So maybe she's been spending her whole life trying to prove herself because this is the normal that she's, you know what I mean? But I wonder if she never talked to her, she never talked to her friend about that though?

Like, what are they? As best friends, y'all don't have that. That's why I said, if y'all been best friends since two, why was she so defensive? I could see if y'all had just met or y'all just been friends for a few years or, you know, because then it'll be a thing like, you don't know my mom, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, y'all was damn near, like, y'all were toddlers. So it's like, you've known this lady, you know, and...

I don't know, my best friend's mom is like my mom, too. You know, and my mom is like my best friend's mom. And we haven't even been best friends since we were two, you know. So I'm not sure why that is. But like I said, if this is her normal, then maybe it's going to take a lot of, like, a lot more of this shit to happen for her to realize it's wrong. Because again, she's still only 22. I think she'll realize once she...

Where's her dad? Like, I need to know, like, who's her dad? Where's her dad? Give me some more of the backstory. I want you to update me on this, friend, because I could figure it out more if I knew the history with both parents. Like, has she ever opened up to you about her father? Has she ever opened up to you about...

being treated a certain way as a kid when y'all were friends, but you didn't live with her. You know what I'm saying? Who knows? You know, she could have been getting beaten every night or she could have been getting starved. The mother could have been like telling her, you're fat or whatever. And, you know, like this could have been, this could have started early on, which makes it her normal life, you know? And then how does your best friend

look at you and your mother you know what I'm saying like that does she ever has there ever been a moment where she where you even saw her wishing that this could be her household like when you're around your parents and shit like that like and has she ever been around that you know what I'm saying what I'm saying well do I mother even let out the house but you know like I like uh it's something there that I need more context for to give full advice on this shit because

I'm not going to say she a little too old, but she old enough to know this is not right. Yeah. You know? You know, unless she's just a diehard, I got one mom and I know... And I wonder if she grew up with any siblings. Yeah. Yeah, that as well. Like, yeah. Was she the only one treated like this? Was she the, you know, the...

Well, what child they always say is treated like the outcast? The middle child. Yeah. Is she a middle child? Is she an only child? You know what I'm saying? Which wouldn't matter if the mom is fucked up anyway. Because, you know, because then all the kids get treated fucked up. You know what I'm saying? Unless it's the dad thing, like I said. Yeah.

I just need more context on it. But I don't think that you are wrong. I don't. I do think that you should reach out, though. This is your best friend since two. I think she did, though. She said you gave her the cool shoulder. Oh, she did? Oh, she said she haven't talked to her in a week.

She said it's been a week. And then, hold on, let me see. I'm assuming, though, she reached out and she's not replying to her, though. Got it. Let me see. Hold on. Let me see. Let me see. Let me scroll on up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She dropped me off and that we haven't spoken since. It's been a week. We usually talk every day and I just feel so bad. I texted her a few times and now she's giving me the cold shoulder. Like...

I really said some crazy shit to her. Okay, okay. I get it. I totally understand. Also, what nationality is she? Like, is she black, white, other? Like, what is she? Because not that that really, really matters, but I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. The defensiveness...

It seems like that would come out of a white person before a black person. Hell yeah, I went to a predominantly white high school and it was a lot of my friends who had fucked up parents and they seen nothing wrong with that. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

Life is an act of constant reinvention. That's true for you and for cars. Nissan reimagined the all-new Kicks around you. The Bose Personal Plus sound system with speakers in the headrests keep you in the groove, while the Nissan Safety Shield 360 technologies keep you safe. If Nissan reinvented the Kicks, you can reinvent yourself.

Drive the all-new, reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information. Hey fam, if you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just started in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling.

Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long-term success. They've been a steady presence in our communities, and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference.

State Forum is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Forum is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Forum is there. Find out more at stateforum.com.

They seen nothing wrong with their parents. Like, yeah. Like, listen, this crazy. I remember in high school, um,

I was like one of, when I say predominantly white, my high school was predominantly white. Can you tell? Yeah, I went to Dallas Town. I went to school in Pennsylvania, right outside of York. It was this county called Dallas Town. And I went to Dallas Town Area High School. And it was a middle high school or whatever. But it was a huge campus. It looked like a fucking college. Like it was huge, like a university. And of course, I'm in high school. When I first got there, I think I was like one of like 16 black kids. And it was about...

from 9,000 to 11,000 kids in the school. You know what I'm saying? And it was different other races or whatever, foreign exchange and all that, but it was predominantly Caucasian. And I had friends. And once I got to be popular and shit and all of that type of stuff, I developed a strong friend group up there. And we would hook school and go to my house and shit. When it was time to hook school...

Not when it was time. But yeah, like we hated Thursdays, yo, because that was science day and shit. Like, you know, so we would hook on Thursdays and I lived closer, closest to the school. So we would go right to my house. My mom worked in Baltimore. So I knew when she was coming home and it would take her a while to get home. So I'm like, we can just hook in my house. We smoking in the backyard. And yeah,

my mom had came home I didn't get in trouble the first time I got caught you know she was just like you don't need to do this she had like a nice stern talk with me in front of my friends and she kissed me on my forehead and she was like I love you but don't fucking play with me little girl and that's the thing I said yes ma'am you know what I mean so my friend I remember her name was Morgan Talbert she was like your mom just told you she loved you and I'm like yeah you know what I'm saying she was like that's crazy

A white girl? Yeah, she was white. That's so interesting. They weren't affectionate with their parents. Their parents weren't nurturing. They were just providing for them. They would give them money. They wouldn't even see their kids half the time. A lot of their parents traveled for work. So they wouldn't even see their parents a lot. You know what I mean? And then I had other friends that would look and be like, yo, you see your parents every day. Your parents talk to you all the time. That doesn't get on your fucking nerves. I'm like, no, they love me. The fuck?

Like... That's interesting because the white people I went to... I went to. The white people that went to my school, at least my white friends, like, the only thing... It was the stereotype, though. I remember one time my friend Emily, she...

I don't know. Her mom was mad at her about something. And Emily didn't give a fucking damn. And she was just like, whatever, mom. Like, fuck you. Catch me outside. She didn't say fuck you, but she was like back talking to her mom. And I remember stepping back like, I should go. I would never. Yeah, we would never. Her mom, she goes, maybe you should call your mom or whatever.

Yeah. But her mom did not fucking play. That's why my mom fucked with her though. As a white woman, she was not the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's funny. One of my friend's moms was like that. And rest in peace to her now. She actually took her own life. She was dealing with some like mental issues. Yeah. But her name was, oh my God, Katie or Yvonne. I don't know. But either way,

Alex! That was her name. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, Alex. That was her name. She took her own fucking life, you know? And she was dealing with it. But she was a mother that did not play. She had two kids and her daughter gave her... Her daughter was the youngest and her daughter gave her the most trouble. She would whoop that little girl's ass. Yeah. Like, she would whoop her ass and that was the first time I ever seen or even heard of a white...

One of my white friends being chastised physically, being disciplined. I never seen that still, though. But my friend, her mom was like, she was being grounded. Yeah. Not playing with her. That's the crazy thing, you know. So I said that to say, I'm sharing my experience about being in a predominantly white high school because this speaks to this girl's story. Like,

I wouldn't be surprised if she was white because... But even if she was white, how you explained it, like, they just weren't there, but their parents weren't treating them. Mm-hmm. Weren't treating them right, yeah. Like, I think they'll be happy if...

She got, I'm sober. She got a house at 22. A house at 22. What'd she do for a job? I know. I need to know. My best friend need to tell me a shit, you know? I really want you to keep reaching out to her though because honestly, maybe she's not okay. You know what I'm saying? You just, yeah, you never know. And I think that should be something that you should say. You should suggest that to her to go to therapy. I'm mad as shit. I lost my thought. I'm,

went all around the Murray Go Bush and shit just to let you know why I said and told you I went to a predominantly white high school it was a thought there but I'm gonna get to it probably next week or something because I forgot y'all I did the same shit on the episode last week but it's alright um

Man, yeah, I think that you should suggest therapy to her, some type of family therapy. I doubt that her mom will go, but she needs to go. It's still family therapy because she's going to go in there and spill about her mom. And maybe her healing can motivate her mom to go. You know what I'm saying? Because those type of people you have to talk to a certain way, like her mother. You have to it's a certain way you have to be a healed person to get.

to like to show another person the mirror of themselves. Like, yo, what you're doing is fucked up. You're wrong. And you're projecting on me and you've been projecting on me my whole life. And I'm just now seeing as an adult, as a young adult, but still an adult, nevertheless, like,

you're not a good mom to me. And I love you. I look up to you. And it's just like, why? What did I do? Like, I need her to have these conversations with her mom. But I do also want her to seek out therapy. But I want her to have these conversations with her mom. Because I doubt if she got mad at you like that, she's ever questioned her mom about that. You know what I'm saying? Because if you know your mom like that, that ain't the first person I'm going to go show my house. Yeah. Or she just also is, in a sense, family oriented. Like, she got to protect her family.

family like I don't know like yeah maybe it's something yeah in that sense yeah but definitely keep me updated you know because I want to know I want to know and then that's your friend you know I know you miss her and everything so it's okay you ain't you ain't losing nothing keep hitting her yeah she giving you the cold shoulder pop up on her you know go see her that's your bestie you know what I'm saying best friends they do that they do that sometimes um

And you have to do that sometimes. You got to go pull up on a bitch. What's up? Like, come on. You got mad at me? I'm just looking out for your best interest. You know what I'm saying? I've watched your mom basically try to destroy who you are almost your whole life. Like, remember graduation, bitch, when you was crying in front of all those fucking people because your mom didn't want to take a picture with you and she kept saying that she was dressed like a hoochie? Yeah. Like, no. Like, tell her that you've always been there. Just always just...

Be there if anything. Even if she push you away, just be there because she still needs somebody. You know what I'm saying? And it's not the person who her mother is. She needs her mother, but not the person who her mother is right now. So the mother needs help too, but she a little too set in her ways and it's going to take a miracle to change who she is in her age. So it's up to the best friend to break that generational curse. So keep me updated, boo. And just like that, we've come to yet the end of another Catholic Reckless podcast with your girl, Justa Larius. And my girl, Taylor, is here to say thank you, Taylor.

And we got one. Okay. All right. This is the first option to follow directions. Yes. All right. Now say, you're welcome, Taylor. You're welcome. All right. That's what's up. Your shoe's about to say, you're welcome, Taylor. All right. I love y'all. Y'all will hear from us next week. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.