Messy Bessie
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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage.

I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

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Welcome to Carefully Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

Oh shit, and just like that, we're back on the air. So listen, welcome back from my carefully reckless hiatus, y'all. Y'all know I said I needed a couple weeks off because I am pregnant. And

And I am even more pregnant than I was when I ended the season, y'all. So welcome back to season four. What I be doing? I be fixing mess and I'm still gonna be fixing mess, y'all. Ain't nothing new, ain't nothing old. I'm just still doing my thing and y'all seem to love it. Because I also fix mess every Thursday, some Wednesdays, but depending on the topics that we have at Breakfast Club, y'all can call up 1-800-585-1051. We do the segment around between...

7.30 and 8.30, so make sure y'all listen out for that. We're going to jump straight into it. We got some crazy shit. Now, I went, I did my due diligence, and I went through these stories. Because at first, season three, some of y'all may have felt like the stories were a little dry. Some of them were boring, but...

But, um, I actually, I went through a lot of them and we got some good ones. Okay. We got some good ones. I ain't saying some people's stories are better than others. I'm just saying some stories are better than others. So we're going to jump straight in. So me and my man got into a heated argument over him. Drink. Oh my God. This is why the fuck I don't be reading. Okay.

The fuck? This is why the fuck I took a hiatus. I told y'all. I told y'all to spell right. But this is a good story, so listen. So me and my man got into a heated argument over him drunk dialing an old friend of mine. We were fighting, and he stayed up all night in his feelings drinking. He proceeded to call an old friend of mine. You already said that. Oh my gosh. We have no beef, but we did grow apart. We're pretty much just social media friends now. LOL. LOL.

It's not funny. Anyways, this nigga called her questioning her as to why we weren't friends anymore and started talking shit about my current friends and how he doesn't like them. Whole time she had me on three way. So I heard the whole conversation. I know that's right. Now that's some childish shit I would have did back in the day, honey. You should have told me how old you was because at some point you are too old for this type of stuff. But okay, three way. I was upset because I don't know why he's so concerned about my friendships.

and his actions were embarrassing as fuck. He's always been that type of guy that would try and make me be friends with his friends and their girlfriends. And I never liked that about him because he befriends some trifling ass people. My question to you is, do you feel it's mandatory to have mutual friends with your significant other? Or have you ever had that issue where your significant other tried to force you into their friendships or even tried to force their way into yours?

Okay, so to answer your question, first and foremost, do I feel that it's mandatory to have mutual friends with your significant other? I don't feel like anything is mandatory, especially not from a social status in a relationship. I mean, you are well entitled to not, you know, engage with his friends and you're not entitled to have your friends to engage, you know, with him, shit like that. No, I don't feel that it's mandatory. However, it's natural, you know, especially if you're...

If your friends are always around, if you're a friend person, if you're the type of person that likes to hang out with your friends and you can double date or, you know, they have their significant others and it's natural and it's quite regular, I think, for couples to mingle with each other's friends and shit like that. But mandatory, no. In your case, I feel like he doing too fucking much. I feel like he is definitely...

I don't even know the word for him, but it's a little clowned out. Y'all know that's the word I always refer to when I can't figure something out and I feel like somebody is wrong. It's clowned out because for one, for him to call somebody that he thought was your old friend that you wasn't talking to and start talking shit about your new friends.

It's, I don't know, it's kind of giving me, like, Zeus vibes. Like, he belong on baddies somewhere. Like, what the fuck? Dude, why are you so worried about my fucking friends? You said he was drunk dialing an old friend of mine. I don't understand. I mean, I would have, it's not like you have to leave this nigga. Now, listen, y'all know I'm not big on breaking people up, but he sounds like he wants to be one of the girls.

And it's Pride Month, and I'm just saying, if he wants to walk in his truth, he shall right now. It's a very liberating time for him to do that. Because how the fuck are you behind all this drama with some bitches?

I don't get this. This is very tea time. If you ask me, I don't like that. I don't like that. And then you said he's always been this way. Why are you still around then? I mean, I get it. It's a relationship. You ain't tell me how long you haven't told me how long y'all been together. But you obviously know this man and you've known him long enough to know that he does shit like this quite frequently. That would add so much stress to me.

And unnecessary stress. Yeah, I just think that's... That is clowned out. You need to leave him alone. And then for you to be able to sit on three-way, girl, that's some kind of patience because...

if I don't know where y'all in the same house because I definitely would have unmuted that phone and said your clown ass upstairs sitting up there fucking talking about me to this bitch because you think we wasn't friends but whole time I'm on the phone so come downstairs and talk to me like a real fucking man but you didn't do that you didn't do that so you playing games too understand you know sex with him may be great but if y'all ain't got no fucking kids honey

You need to leave messy Bessie alone, honey. He's a chatty patty. And any man that will call your friend or ex-friend to talk shit about your new friends, that shouldn't be your man. That's not like a gay homeboy. And I just like a gay best friend. And I've had plenty of them, you know. So, no, I think that was dumb.

I've never had a situation where I felt like my boyfriend was trying to force me into his friendships.

Or a situation where I felt like I was forced to put him in mine. No, it just happens organically. The types of friends that I have are different. Like I have a very supportive down to earth. They classy, but they can act a little, you know, ratchet. But like my circle was very tight. I have a group of five friends. I can literally count on one person.

Hey, and that's it. You know what I mean? And everybody else are, you know, associates that I can be around. I got friends that, you know, people that I don't consider friends that I can confide in and shit like that. But if we talking about my core, like circle of friends, um,

yeah, they're all cool with my boyfriend. Um, as my boyfriend is cool with them. Like he could text them like he, no mind you, it ain't no whole little conversation piece every time, you know, you don't go hang out with them without me and I'm like that. But if he's trying to surprise me, he can hit up either one of them and they'll help him with shit like that. You know what I'm saying? Like for my birthday or, or, um,

what do you think I should get just this Christmas or, you know, things like that. Like, but no, anything cross those boundaries. Nah, Chris, no better. And my friends know better too. And my friends just, my friends are, they just are better than yours. It seems like.

And my nigga even better than yours too. Damn. But that's not what we hear. I'm sorry. So we're going to move on. But keep me updated because, girl, you a mess. So break up with him. Move on. Keep me updated. This is crazy. Don't piss me off. This is the first fucking episode of the season and they acting dumb in here.

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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

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I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

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All right. The second one. My situation is I've been in a relationship with a dude for seven years. We both are from different cultures. I'm Puerto Rican. He is Jamaican. At the beginning, sex was good and we were very much in love and all that honeymoon stuff.

He proposed to me three years in. The proposal was very different. He went into the jewelry store and asked me what I liked. So I showed him. We went to the next store. He goes to the bathroom. Then by the end of the day, he gives me the ring and says, you are off the market. Oh, three years passed. And ever since, my sex life has been in shambles. Damn!

I have sex once a month or every other month. I'm very confident with myself, so I know it's not me. He plays off with this macho attitude that I don't know how to treat him as a man because I didn't cook every day. Mind you, I work. I go to school and I have two young daughters. Okay. It gets me frustrated because I have to clean up after him and my two girls that he helped me raise.

I get it. Oh. Hmm.

Damn, you talking about sex? Oh.

Damn, girl. And it is very frustrating that my poom poom is depressed and needs attention. What should I do? Should I get a side dude to get on to just get knocked off? Since I've blatantly communicated with him how I feel numerous times.

Well, baby, I think you need to dig a little deeper before you decide to go cheating or whatever. You did say that this man is a Jamaican. And, girl, he will knock your head in between the washer and the motherfucking dryer because you know they do not be fucking playing. Now, you ain't Jamaican, so you don't understand this. You're Puerto Rican. Y'all be going off, too. But Jamaicans, they don't fucking play. So don't cheat on him unless you're cheating on him with another Jamaican. Say no. Don't do that. I'm not endorsing cheating. All right? Now, not anymore because back in my day. But now I've grown up.

Listen, I think you have to be honest. You got to be honest with yourself and say, did I do enough to get to the bottom of it? Because, yeah, yeah, we are hormonal. And, yeah, you know, we have needs and shit. But figure out what the hell going on with him. Because you may find out there's a cheating because them Jamaican men. I'm not saying all Jamaicans are alike, but a lot of them are. So.

I feel like you need to put some more meat on the bone. I want to ask you a couple questions. Has his patterns changed? Is it just the sex? Does he come in later? Is he on the phone more? Now, I'm telling you, I applaud him for helping you raise your two young daughters. You said you go to school, you work. I understand you are tired. How the fuck do you even have sex?

desire to want to have sex. It sounds like that you should be tired of shit. Now, having sex once a month or every other month is crazy. That would make me feel like somebody's cheating on me. I'm not going to lie to you. Is it the fact that he can't get it up? Like, you need to let me know more because I feel like while you're concerned, you're not concerned enough. Or is some shit you're not telling me? Because...

Like I said, my initial thought is if y'all, if he swept you off your feet like daddy's taking care of both your daughters, y'all living together, you cleaning up behind him. Y'all got like a whole family situation, sweetheart. Although y'all come from different cultures, it seems like he doing what he got to do. You know, you just got to clean up after him. Is he paying bills? Is he, you know, does he work? Like what, what's going on? Because...

That's a long time to go without sex for it to just be three years later. Like, I'm not really buying that you've told me everything. I don't really feel like you did. Well, maybe you told me all that, you know, but I encourage you to do some more digging because either he is cheating. He has a medical issue where he can't get it up. Or despite you saying that you are very comfortable with yourself, you didn't gain some weight and he probably is not attracted to

To you now, like did anything change? Now, I'm not saying, you know, big women are not. What the fuck am I going to give a disclaimer for? Charlamagne got me so fucked up with these big back bitches. No, listen, if you were petite when he met you and you blew up a little bit. Yeah, I could see the change. Or if you're always complaining about some shit.

That turns a guy off. You know what I'm saying? Because you seem very frustrated and fed up and, you know, a little irritated in your story, what you telling me. So if he's getting this type of attitude every day, it probably will push him away. But you need to get in his head, baby. I need I need for you to get some more information on this man. And all jokes aside, you know, like seriously sit down and talk to your man because communication is one of the most keynote necessities.

That needs, needs, absolutely needs to happen in relationships. And honestly, don't just communicate and be bullshit. Like, be honest. Yo, like, what's going on? I want to know. Like...

You proposed to me three years ago, told me I was off the market. You made me feel beautiful, swept me off my feet. Everything is great. Now we're not... Sex went from being amazing. Now we're only having sex every four weeks, sometimes every other month. What's going on? Is it me? Are you interested in somebody else? Is there something that I'm doing wrong? I don't understand. We need to communicate on that level. I need for you to open up to me because I've often thought...

long and hard about leaving you. You know what I'm saying? Don't ever say, I thought about cheating on you because girl, he will strangle you with a fucking telephone cord. But just say,

Tell the truth. I've thought about leaving you because, you know, I'm a woman. I have needs as well. We got to talk to these men just like they would talk to us if they talked. So that's just, you know, talk to him like he would talk to a homegirl. Talk to him like you would talk to your therapist or talk to him like he was just fucking talking to me. You trying to figure out what the hell going on and you want to save your relationship. I imagine that you still love him and he already has a bond with both of your girls. You know what I'm saying? You know, so let's just get to the bottom of it.

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State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage.

I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

Every sandwich has bread. Every burger has a bun. But these warm, golden, smooth steamed buns? These are special. Reserved for the very best. The Filet-O-Fish. And you. You can have them too. For a limited time, the classic Filet-O-Fish you love is joining your McDonald's favorites on the 2 for $3.99 menu. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Single item at regular price. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

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Your chance to redeem real prizes is just a spin away. Care to join me? Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Voidware prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply. Well, we do have Taylor here for some input. What'd you say? I've been in that type of situation where like, I don't like feeling I have to be like

a man's mom. Like, I got OCD, too. You got to be clean as me. So I can see how if you got school, work, and you got daughters, and you're not clean about yourself, I'll be pissed off. Yeah, no, I understand. But, like, what do you think about the sex thing? She said they went from... The sex thing, it sounds like...

I don't know. I got to hear. She got to be more descriptive with their interaction because are they even affectionate or is it? Yeah. Or is this just no sex? Right. Like, are they intimate with each other? Like you said, is it? Does he still kiss you? Does he still hug you? Feel on you? Touch you like do you? And, you know, and is it the kids? You know what I'm saying? Like, does he not want to have sex?

Because the kids are older or younger. You said you got two young girls. Are they always home when you want some dick? It sounds like he's just not romantic, though. Yeah, but he was. He was romantic. Yeah, do y'all go on dates and shit? Does he still stress to you that he loves you? I don't know. You said that you asked him and he said that he's content. The word consent is crazy, though.

Did he say the word content when you asked him? Was he happy? Are you OK? Because you did say that you asked him, how do you feel about our relationship right now? Is this good? Is this what you want? Like, are you OK with things being like this? And you said he said he was content.

And even going off of like saying his family and friends love him. Her family and friends. Her family and friends. But like, what's their perception? Like just because he provides? Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Because that's honestly, honestly, now that we're speaking on that, that sounds like why she fell for him, to be honest. Because he took in a jewelry store. He's, you know, he swept off the feet. He probably like wooed her with gifts and shit like that. And she got,

You know, comfortable. Yeah. And I mean, what girl does not like that? What woman doesn't like that? I understand. Especially if you've never had it before or you're coming out of something where you've never been treated like that. I understand because I've been wooed and swept off my feet, too. I remember that's how country waning ended up getting me because I just came out of a relationship where I was taking care of the guy. This was the first Chris, not the new Chris that I got. Yeah. And it's not Chris Brown, y'all. Chris Brown treated me good when we was together. But I'm...

And I came out of the relationship with the other Chris, you know, the one I used to put on line all the time. Like, I was taking care of him, you know, and a few family members of his for a while. And then he had stole from me and everything. And then Wayne swept me off my feet with that. My problem is I didn't get to know Wayne. You know, I just, I was wooed by that. And then I just jumped in a relationship with him, which...

I learned from that. I don't regret anything, but I learned from it. It's like, you know, when you're with somebody so long that you, cause me and my ex before Wayne, we were together for like three years, two and a half, three years. And it felt so long. Cause that's just how it felt. You know, when you unhappy, I was unhappy for like a year and a half. First year and a half was good. Second year and a half. So when you get what you have been missing, um,

For a while. It tends to make you feel like, oh, shit, this is new. This is great. And you kind of ignore other key components. Like, you know. You're missing two. It says he was saying... If he's saying he's content, but then saying that... She don't treat him like a man. Yeah, he don't treat him like a man, so... Yeah. That's why I said, is she arguing with him? Do you got an attitude every day? Do you belittle him? Because, you know, she obviously makes it a problem that she has to clean up after him. Yeah. So...

And then does he have a job? Like, is he still providing? But she's saying he's a macho. So he probably thinks like, I'm being a man. Like, why do I, like, it's looking like 1950s where she should be cleaning and cooking. That's how he's looking at it. That's how I'm taking it. If he's saying he's a macho man. And if he's Jamaican, then don't they, don't they look at their women like that? Like they need to be homemakers, but she's in school. She has kids. She, well, yeah, that's part of homemaking. She's in school and she works. Yeah.

So nigga, take me from all that. Right. And then, yep, I be OCD all that. Come home pussy laid out like a platter. What's up? You know what I'm saying? But we will see. We will see. You need to update us, baby girl. I'm sorry. Puerto Rican mommy. I'm sorry. That's going to be a pretty fucking baby though if y'all do have kids. Jamaican and Puerto Rican.

That's crazy. Very much, girl. But we come to yet the end of the very first episode for season four, Carefully Reckless. I encourage you to send your stories to the Carefully Reckless page, y'all. Just title it, Just Fix My Mess, because there'd be a bunch of junk in that shit.

I don't be liking what some people will be sending me. I'll be getting dick pics and all that type of shit. I don't block you. I'm straight fucking blocking you because I'm pregnant. I'm irritated. I don't want to see nobody dick. That's how I got in the situation right now. So make sure that y'all are sending voice notes. I encourage you, please. I like when I like to hear people's voices because then I don't got to read. And then because y'all know I'll be struggling with that because you already can't spell all of y'all. So I need for more voice notes to come. And if you are writing me, read over your shit before you send it.

But I love you guys. And I'll see you next week. And peace out.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

State Farm Insurance knows that understanding and investing in our cultural identity is paramount in protecting our future. We know what it's like to go from nothing to something, to wish that we had better financial literacy when we were younger. Luckily, State Farm is here to help. With funding programs like Project Ready, which is committed to education achievement and has already awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to black and brown youth since 2021. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities.

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