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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going.
Black Tech Green Money isn't just about telling the stories of successful black entrepreneurs. It's also about giving actionable and wealth building strategies that help you protect the future of our communities.
That's why we're pleased to be supported by State Farm Insurance. State Farm also believes that we must invest in our communities to achieve economic growth by sponsoring programs like the AXO, which rewards high school students for their academic achievements. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm Victoria Cash, and I want to invite you to a place called Lucky Land. ♪
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Welcome to Catfleet Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Catfleet Reckless episode with your girl, Just Hilarious. We're going to jump straight into it because y'all, I'm at work.
all right and I'll be fixing mess on the radio now only on Thursday so catch it on Breakfast Club every Thursday and then I'm fixing mess with y'all every Wednesday and Saturday April 27th at Pullman Yards in Atlanta Georgia I will be fixing mess live on stage with Can't Believe Breakfast y'all know my podcast for the second annual Black Effect Podcast Festival okay it was sold out last year and it's gonna be sold out this year we got some other people joining us as well but all I
All I know is just hilarious. It's going to be live. Fix that mess. And I'm going to be pulling people out of the crowd. Now, look, ain't none of this shit going to be, you know, pre-planned and none of that shit. I'm going to get people out the audience to come up there and tell me their situations and tell me their mess and, you know, get my advice and stuff like that. I might be able to clean it up for you. Don't come with no heavy, deep-ass stories and shit like, oh, my God, like,
Never mind. I ain't even going to give no examples because I ain't trying to give y'all no fucking ideas. But don't come up there and ask me some shit y'all know I can't fucking help y'all with. All right? Don't come up there acting crazy. Don't come up there. I'm telling you because y'all get tackled off the motherfucking stage if anybody come up there trying shit because y'all already know what the fuck going on with me. But yeah, y'all be very much pregnant.
I'm even more pregnant, y'all, so I'm going to be very emotional. Don't try to make me cry because I already do it at the drop of a fucking dime. All right. So please. All right. So we're going to jump straight in. So we got two long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long stories. And we're going to get to it right now. Hi, just listen. I am 23 years old and I'm an extreme introvert. I know what that's like. I'm not really a big party person and I don't do large crowds, but my friends do.
One of my good friends just threw a party for her 22nd birthday. Now, she's way more social than me and also have many other friends outside of me. The party was lit. All types of different music and all types of different people. I know you were scared as fuck, shaking in the corner. All types. Yes, I'm a big energy person. And when I tell you, I felt the energy shift before it shifted. I really did.
her other friends started to get sloppy drunk falling all over the place and getting extra loud with each other oh girl i was just at my birthday party and i ain't no introvert or nothing but i wasn't able to drink and i'm pregnant so yeah i guess i'm an introvert while i'm pregnant so i felt the same way lord jesus because everybody my birthday but never mind let me finish this story girl i started going on about mine all right so continue y'all
Oh, Lord.
It was already close to the end of the party anyway, but her other friends talked her into going to a club after. Okay, after party. And it's her birthday, so I understand. I definitely wasn't going to that shit. LOL. She was a little sad that I was leaving, but she understood. But girl, as I was telling her, her friends decided to come over and they heard me tell her that I was leaving. They started screaming.
Oh, girl, you so stiff. You such a square. What was your point of even coming? First of all, y'all bitches is drunk and she is not calm the fuck down. I was like, oh, there's the energy I felt. I didn't let that stop me from leaving, nor did I let that mess with my character. But I did laugh in their face and told them to get out of my way and proceeded to leave.
The next day, I text my friend and asked her how was last night and also tell her that I had a good time with her. She tells me that she enjoyed her night, but she didn't like how I left early and that she didn't feel like I even wanted to be there and that I was also acting stiff.
Oh, she didn't let her fucking friends get in her head, baby. Like, very much clowned out. And she was drunk. She was still drunk from the night before. Because, bitch, you already know as my friend that I'm a fucking introvert. But let me continue. Immediately in my head, I got confused. Because for one, she already knows I'm not a big party person. But I definitely did party with her last night. And for two, did she have her other friends get in her head? Girl, y'all.
I ain't even read your story and I'm like all up in your head, girl. Yes, because I just said the same thing. That's why I need to shut up and finish the story before I do my commentary. This is crazy.
I already know that they probably were talking shit about me when I left because that's how they are. But I'm just hoping that this is her own personal opinion and that she's not letting her other friends make her feel a way about me. I have yet to respond to her. And that's only because I'm usually a talker before I am a thinker. So I don't want to jump straight to something. And that's not what it is. But I would say this did throw me off a little bit.
It's only been a few hours since she texted, but I had no idea when you would open this message, Jess. So what do you think? I would love a second opinion before I respond to this woman, lol. Jess, also, I would not be thinking like this if this hasn't happened before. There was a situation previously where I felt like our friends were talking mad shit about me and influenced her decisions a little bit. So this is just a build-up.
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I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.
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Okay. Well, honey, listen, you got my attention and I'm definitely going to let you know. I mean, if you haven't already caught on by now, I am feeling the same exact way you're feeling. And then this is my thing. I can certainly relate to this because I just had a birthday party over
over the weekend for CIAA in Baltimore. And my little sister, my cousins, my friends, all of them are extroverted when they're partying. You know what I'm saying? My little sister, you know, to some point she's to herself, but when she gets around people that she loves...
you know, she comes out of her shell, you know, and our dad was there, and it's Baltimore, you know what I'm saying, our dad ain't no little old nigga with a cane, like, this nigga be partying, this is where we got our party animal side from, you know what I'm saying, but I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke, I'm pregnant, but I just was happy to be around my loved ones, now, my brother, Desi, he's an introvert, and he was sitting down all night, and he barely cracked the goddamn smile, you know what I'm saying, and
he was still just happy to be there, but we all know Desi, we all know he's an introvert, so we're not going to expect for him to jump up doing a Dougie and, you know, or whatever, he's not the type to go grab a fucking mic, now he is a stand-up comedian, but that's when we're working on stage, you know, that's when we are called to action, we're called to do what we do for a living, you get what I'm saying, he's an introvert and everybody knows that,
ain't nobody say why does he over there being stiff like oh that's why he shouldn't even have came because mind you I went in the house after the party but everybody else went their separate ways to other parties mind you it's CIAA weekend so it's parties all over the place Dazzy I guarantee you went home to his family you know what I'm saying and then I went home to mine only because I'm pregnant but I would have been right out with the rest of my friends and my sister and my family you know what I'm saying
So I definitely understand where you're coming from. Them bitches got in her head. And I'm going to call them them bitches because they were clearly fucking hating. With or without liquor, this is who these girls are. You can literally tell. And a lot of people just don't understand introverted people. You know what I mean? And a lot of people don't understand that sometimes...
Like y'all resting bitch face is literally y'all face every fucking time y'all around people that y'all don't really know. You know what I mean? It had nothing to do with her friends being too loud. Yeah, they're too loud for you, but it wasn't personal. Everybody's too loud. It's a fucking party and you came to support your friend. So I think her taking that into account would have been better. Like at least you showed up for me. At least you came out. At least you came to support me and you don't even do parties. Girl, I know you don't do parties, but thank you for showing up.
Why would she even expect you to go to a second party with her other loud ass friends? Now, no shade to our friends because I'm telling you, they sound like my friends. All up until the part where they were talking shit about you. You know what I'm saying? Because my friends don't do that. You know, they let whoever be who they are. You get what I'm saying? So it is what it is. And I have all types of different friends. You know what I'm saying? And different types of family members. Extroverted, both introverted. You know what I mean? So...
I think you should have a conversation with her. I think you should call her actually. Don't even respond via text. I think you should call her because to be honest,
She should have called you if she really felt this way. All that texty, texty bullshit. No, you should call her and be like, hey, look, so I can't help but to think that your friends got in your head or whatever. I mean, I know they had a couple of remarks yesterday when they heard me tell you that I'm not going to the second party. And, you know, and I heard their remarks as well. You know, I don't know if you heard them, but they, you know, and recite those remarks that you heard like, oh, they asked me.
What was my point in even coming and I shouldn't have came and I'm being stiff. No, I'm being who I am. And if you can't take that, that's on you. That's why you're not my friends. This is my friend and my friend, I thought would understand me after so many years of us being friends. And you already know that I don't even do parties, but I was there to support you. I think that's how you have to explain it more in depth. Sometimes people need it.
she may just be feeling a way and may need that conversation from you. You get what I'm saying? And that ain't even to go back and set her other friends straight, but just to get y'all on a better accord than...
than that because I know how you feeling I know that hurts your feelings and I know you don't want to jump out there and respond I can tell you love your friend because I would have been jumped down her motherfucking throat even her being my friend like hold up bitch don't play with me because you already know I ain't even that type of girl like the type of girl I am I wouldn't even have fucking came but I'm here and I love you you know what I'm saying but I'm very much a little bipolar when it comes to shit like that you know but my advice for you is call your friend don't text thanks can get very lost in translation through text
And you are young. You said you're 23, your friend 22. Y'all can get real reckless over them text messages. My little sister is 20. Okay. And I, listen, I know. When me and her get into it, it be some things that she be saying and I be like, ugh. Like, you know, I be wanting to say, but like my 32-year-old self has to always remember like, damn, I was 20 as well before and I was...
Saying things that I know I didn't mean just to hurt the other person or whatever. But, you know, you guys are young. Y'all got the rest of your fucking lives. And things like this do happen also. I'm going to let you know.
While I was just, you know, my delivery may be a bit negative toward the other friends or whatever, but things like this do happen. So don't throw your friend away. Just just talk to her, call her and talk to her. You owe nothing to them other friends. You know what I mean? Because that's not who your bond is with your bond and your loyalty is to your friend.
And I would just hear her voice and she hear yours. Now, if the shit don't turn out, she's still getting all defensive. Meet up with her ass and be like, what's up? Say no. No, no, no, no, no. But then you hang that shit up and you see where she's staying. You know what I mean? But if y'all been friends for a long time, I think that she will receive it well if you call her versus not.
You know, texting. Because you checked on her. You didn't have to wake up and check on her ass. You know, but you did because you're her friend. So that's what real friends do. They talk things out. Keep me updated and let me know. I like that little story. That's nice. That's nice. But once somebody ain't cheating, getting shot, stabbing itself, there's a lot going on. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm going to beat your ass. Listen.
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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
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All right, next.
First of all, I want to start by saying happy Women's Month. You are definitely a public figure that I look up to, so thank you for being you. Aw, thank you, baby girl. I love that. Okay, so let's get into it. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about three years, and I'm ready to take things a little further. I have been bringing up the idea of us moving in with each other, but he's very, very short when we talk about it. Like, everything could be completely fine, and we would have a normal conversation, but as soon as I talk about it,
His whole demeanor changes.
We've talked about this once before when we first started dating, and he did make it clear to me that moving in with each other is a big commitment, which it really is, girl. But it's been three years now. Damn, how much longer does he need? Exactly. It also starts to make me question myself. Like, am I doing everything right? Am I making him feel comfortable? Does he even really want to move in with me? Is he happy, etc.? See, that's when our minds start playing games on us when we let these men play games on us.
Do not, do not. I mean, they're not playing tricks on us when we let these men play games with us. I was going to drop that conversation for a little while and revisit it another time. But I'm tired of not seeing him as much as I want to see him. And I really feel like it's about time that I come home to him. As you're right, sis. You can tell he's comfortable with the way things are. But I'm definitely feeling a way. And I know he recognizes it.
Maybe he wants to wait until marriage. Or what if there's even someone else? Exactly. See, am I racing and everything? That's what I hate. I hate when we do this as women. I hate when we have to do this because we feel like the guy leaves us no other choice.
I don't want to think like this, but how could I not? What is stopping him from moving in with me? I feel like he should make his feelings more visible when it comes down to that because he can clearly tell how much I'm bothered about this. So my question for you is, how do you think I should go about our conversation the next time I revisit that topic? Do you think my approach is wrong? Let me know something, Jess.
Girl, no, I don't think your approach is wrong. Okay, so you're asking me how you should approach the conversation this time going forward. I honestly feel like you should start just letting him know how bothered you are. I mean, because you state how he sees it and you state how, you know, I know he recognizes it, but I don't think you ever actually communicated with him that it does bother you. Okay, so most of the time guys do need to hear it.
You know what I'm saying? To believe it. Because I'm not giving them any type of excuse or anything. But a lot of guys, not all men, but a lot of guys, they don't pay attention in depth like that to know, oh, it may be bothering her that we ain't moving together yet. You know what I'm saying? Because you said he's comfortable with the way things are. And let's just say there is nobody else. Let's just delete that, subtract that from the equation. He feels comfortable.
So he may feel that you're comfortable as well because you haven't brought it up again because you're letting it, you're letting time go past, hoping that one day he just wakes up like, all right, this is the day we're going to move in. Or this is the day that I'm going to tell her that we're going to move in. You get what I'm saying? And you can't really do that with a man, honey. We have to voice each and every feeling, each and every topic that we want to talk about, each and every time something bothers us. So they can see that, you know, that's also teaching a man how to communicate with you.
Whether you are conscious of that or not, that's teaching him. OK, so she's been she going to come no matter what. My baby going to come to me about whatever. So let me do the same or not even let me do the same, because sometimes they don't learn how to reciprocate it. But they do learn that you are that type of person. So they handle you better going forward, you know, according to that.
This is how I think you should approach it. I'm going to let you know. I think you should start off very honest. You should say, babe, okay, something has been bothering me and I've been wanting to have this conversation with you for a few months now or however, realistically, how long it is. Don't make no time up. Tell them the fucking truth. It's been bothering me for months now. You
You know, every time we visit the conversation of us moving in together, you get kind of short and all of that. And I know we talked about it before and I just kind of like left it alone because I didn't want to push you away. And that is the truth. I didn't want to push you away. However, it's been three years. Okay. And you seem to be comfortable with the way things are. Now, if you are, that's you. But me, I am not. I'm not. I feel like...
now I should be coming home to you I feel like that I don't know if you want to wait till marriage or whatever but I don't feel like we should have to wait until marriage to move in you know what I'm saying like I feel like I should be coming home to you and if you just don't flat out agree with that if you don't want to move I think that you should be man enough to tell me you should be at least open and honest enough to tell me moving together is not a good idea I
I don't like that. And then try to see why, because it may be reasons that he don't want to. Maybe he moved with someone in the past and it didn't work. Maybe, you know, it can be all sorts of reasons why this man really don't want to move with you. You get what I'm saying? And you can't let it hurt you. You can't let it get to you because it may very well be his truth. But we don't know the truth because you haven't sat down with him again and told him your whole truth.
So make his ass tell the truth to you. What is it? And you can even tell him, you had me even questioning myself, like, what am I not doing right? Like, what is it? Do you even want to move in with me? And then the last question, the big boom, the big bang theory, is there someone else? I hate feeling like this. You know what I mean? And I would like for you to answer these questions. Like, are you seeing someone else? Are you scared to move with me because you're dealing with somebody else? Are you living with somebody else? Like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. But I know that I feel that it's time that we come home to each other.
And that's that straight up point blank girl. And then you will get the reaction. Probably not. I mean, I ain't going to say that you're looking for, but you're going to get a reaction and you're more than likely you're going to get the truth, you know, because when you put everything out there and you are eye level with the guy, you're looking at his eyes and he ain't got no way to run. He ain't looking at his phone. They feel back into a corner and he will more than likely tell you the truth.
And the reason why I'm saying more than likely, because less than likely he could lie to like, you know, when guys feel backed into a corner, they lie to the lie their way out. Oh, babe, I was just thinking about that. Or, you know, I don't know. I got to take care of my mom. So I don't know. I just I have anxiety when it comes to moving, you know, because you said, as he stated earlier, that's a big commitment. And if he's saying he is aware of how big of a commitment that is.
then he could get cold feet. You know, he could be nervous. He could be scared. He could be... That could mean marriage for him. Like, oh, shit. That's kind of like marrying somebody. But the fact that you let three years go by, he ain't had nothing else to do but to get comfortable. This is kind of an equal fault, you know, of you and him. I do blame you. Because men will only do to us what we allow. But I love you. So...
My sister looking like, how you gonna just blame her? I mean, I'm just saying, I do blame you a lot because you let a lot of time go past and you ain't even been happy with this part of it. You know, we can't keep putting ourselves in these miserable situations to save a nigga feelings. Okay?
Because relationship is communication amongst other things, but communication don't hold nothing in. That's why half of us be single out here for a while, hurt, carrying hate for exes and shit. Cause we didn't say, we didn't tell these, we didn't have the strength or find the strength to,
to tell these men how we felt in the moment, that's why you, you, you still probably got things that you want to say to your ex 10 years later, no, bitch, you should have said it, and I be, I be hard on my women about it, because it's like, shit, we, we know damn well they ain't gonna do it, so you do it, shit, listen, listen, stop playing with your damn self, all right, but keep me updated.
And just like that, we've come to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. What I be doing? I be fixing mess, and I will be fixing mess, like I said, Saturday, April 27th at Pullman Yards in Atlanta, live, Carefully Reckless, with your girl, Jess Hilarious, on the stage. Make sure you come and you let me know all your mess. Let it out on the stage so we can cry together. I give you some good advice so you can go home feeling ten times better than you came.
Make sure you get your tickets at black effect.com or something like that. Y'all get y'all tickets, get y'all tickets. And I will see y'all soon. It's the second annual black effect podcast festival hosted by my girl pretty V and beat out. Y'all they're going to keep the crowd jumping. Peace.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes. Take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com.
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Vitamin Water was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more flavor to pair with all the amazing food in the city. Vitamin Water is so New York, its three favorite cheeses are chopped cheese, bacon, egg, and cheese, and a slice of cheese pizza. Drink Vitamin Water. It's from New York.