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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.
I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jocelyn Larris. And today, I got my big sister back in the house. Say what up, Shay? What's up, y'all? Y'all can probably hear the smile on my face. Oh my God, it's killing me. Listen, so the last time she was with us, she was not smiling, okay? But today she is, and that's all the fuck that matters. Tell us how you got to this place. So y'all, as y'all know,
I was single, but I ain't no more. Oh my Lord. Jesus Christ. She ain't no more, y'all. I got me a man's now and I'm going to tell you how I got him and where he came from. I decided to go back out there. I've never been into like dating apps and stuff like that. But I saw that Facebook had a dating section. Hold up, hold up, hold up.
You went on a dating section of Facebook? Yeah. It's a date. So it's like a whole dating chat room? It really is. They next to the messages. What is it? It's next to the memories. It's next to the memories, y'all? Yeah. I know.
All right, go ahead. I ain't never know all this, bitch. You always leaving some shit out and then surprising me on the fucking podcast. I ain't know they had a dating department. Yeah, they got a dating department. Met her and took over every fucking thing. Okay, Mark Zuckerberg, get your money, baby. Anyway.
I went into the dating section of Facebook and I created a profile. You can create a profile using the same profile picture that you have, you know, just update. On your regular profile. So this is separate from your regular profile. Yeah. So it doesn't give people your last name. It literally just gives them your first name and your age. Okay. You update your interest, age, range, all the personal and things that you're interested in. You update that. Yeah. So,
before I actually updated mine properly as far as like the age range that I'm willing to deal with the height range I'm willing to deal with you can pick if you want a smoker, non-smoker, drinker non-drinker, whatever it was a whole bunch of young niggas that was like coming at me and I'm like how the fuck do these little niggas slip through the cracks because first of all I don't like younger guys. Nights slip through the cracks like it ain't motherfucking Facebook chat yeah they definitely slip through the fucking bites or whatever the fuck
So you can filter your shit. Based on what you prefer. What you prefer. Okay, so that means niggas was lying. No, I forgot to set that shit. Oh, shit. That shit was like 26 to something. And it was little young niggas on there like, what's up, my eye? Where you out? Oh, yeah. First of all. Oh, my God. First of all, little motherfucker, how did you get here? So anyway, I was talking to like 75 niggas at one time. Hold up. Damn. Damn.
75 niggas? It was 75 niggas. Like, that shit was like hitting like, somebody came through the block with a motherfucking chopper. Like, that shit was like...
And she was like, yo, how the fuck did you keep up with 75 niggas? I didn't. I ended up getting five of these guys my number out of the 75. So 70 niggas did not make the cut. Okay. I gave five niggas my number. And this one guy, he was younger. He slipped through the cracks. You can go keep trying to say these niggas slipped through the cracks because you slipped the motherfucker your number. So don't be trying to act like... They seemed like they were cool. So this one motherfucker, Lord forgive me and please do not think that
I have anything against anybody with any kind of health conditions or whatever, but this one guy, I told him, I'm like, look, I'm not looking for nothing. You know, I'm just looking for people to chit chat with so I can just, you know, get by. I was like, I'm not. Not get by. Yeah, definitely get by. I ain't trying to fuck
Fuck none of y'all. So don't come at me. I'm not looking for no sexual hookups, none of that. So the one guy, he was cool. So I was chit-chatting with him. And he had an underlying health condition. And then this nigga talking about some, yeah, I don't even work no more because of his health condition. I was like, well, you know, I wish you all the blessings with your health condition and everything. We just, we cool. And then one day this nigga sent me a long ass poem. And I text him back like, I ain't even going to hold you. I'm not about to read that shit.
But maybe we should stop communicating because that looked like it means something to you. And I don't want to mean anything to you. Damn. And is it because of his health condition? No, because I just wasn't, I wasn't looking for nothing. Then I told him that and he pretended that he understood. Well, what was it? What? His health condition. He had kidney failure.
He had kidney failure. You know, I have, you know, tons of family members and stuff like that and loved ones that had kidney failure. So like I said, blessings to everyone with any kind of, you know, renal failure. Blessings to you all. But I'm a mother, a single mother of three children. Even if I was interested in somebody, I don't want to just go into a relationship or something like that trying to, having to take care of somebody. With kidney failure. Yeah, that's a lot. And with three kids. That's a lot. I can see if I was with someone and...
And, you know, and that happened while we were together. And of course, you know, I'll be obligated. Like his kidneys was good and then they failed. Yeah. But like, I can't just go into, I can't see myself. It's already failed. Yeah. I can't see myself going into that. But anyway, I had to cut him off and he act like he didn't get it. So I just stopped answering the text.
So then this other guy, he was like Hispanic or whatever. And he seemed like he was cool. He didn't slip through the cracks. Like he came after I changed my preferences and shit. He was older. He didn't slip through the cracks. He didn't.
He seemed like he was cool. I think his teeth might have been fucked up or something because he smiled. Oh my God. I would take kidney failure over some fucked up teeth. Damn. He smiled. He had the, the, um, I can't see your kidneys, motherfucker. I can see your teeth. He had the uncomfortable white people smile like on all of his pictures, but he seemed like he was cool and I agreed to link up with him to, to get coffee and I gave him my number and I was like, you know, I,
I'll chat with you over the weekend. Okay. Mind you, I gave him my number on a Thursday and I was like, I'll chat with you over the weekend so we can, you know, set up when we gonna go and, you know, grab coffee next week. Right. This motherfucker...
Didn't even give me a chance. Didn't give the weekend a chance to even roll around. I ain't working. This motherfucker goes and finds me on Instagram and he see I'm, you know, going off on my Instagram or whatever. And then he texts me like, oh, I see you haven't texted me because you're so busy with your new boyfriend kissing your feet. First of all, sir, who the fuck told you to come over to Instagram where to find me? First of all, you got a boyfriend? No.
No, not then. Oh, okay. So who was you talking about kissing your feet? The old dude. When I was putting on the black- It was the old nigga for kissing your feet? No. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I was going to say, hold up now. I'm missing the whole light now. No, no, no, no, no. I got you. I got you. I know what's going on. Okay. Okay.
So I'm like, all right, you fucked up. You got to know how that just sounded. No, remember the old dude? Right. That sound like a stink. No geriatricness. Yeah. Oh, my God. Hold up. Hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals.
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Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Okay, go ahead. So I just stopped communicating with him because I don't have time because you just being nosy because who told you I'm over here? Then it was this other guy. Every time he turned around, he was always in the house. I'm like, nigga, do you have a job?
One of the niggas that you met on Facebook chat. Yeah, on the Facebook dating app. Well, not app, but the Facebook dating section. So then, sometime he would answer the phone and sometime he wouldn't. But I'm like, yo, if you're always in the house, what the fuck you doing? You must got a situation. And it's cool because I'm not looking for nothing, but don't lie. That was another one. And then this other guy, it was just like a brief chit-chat. He and Ned, he would text. And I'm like, look, my hands are... I'm always doing something with my hands. It's better to just
Call and talk to him. You know, and, you know, they like, oh, well, I don't know. Right. Like, I don't know if you be busy. I'm like, okay, well, the only way you'll know is if you actually call. And if I can't talk, I'll let you know that I can't talk. All right. So then that was that guy. And then it was this other guy. And he was more of my preference because, you know, I like the light skins. Tall light skin. Tall light skin guys. So out of all of these guys, the light skin one was like the most...
persistent. We communicated like regularly more than I communicated with the other people that I met on there. And then one day he was like, I got a confession, but not really saying he got a confession. I'm like, Oh Lord, like what? He was like, I tried to holler at you on my space back in the day and you curved me. And I was like, what?
MySpace? He was like, yeah. So I just basically, I admired you from afar. Because basically, I took it like this. Man, fuck that bitch. She ain't going to care about me. Right, right, right. Because I'm that nigga. Oh, wow. Okay. So he slipped through the cracks on MySpace. He didn't slip through no cracks. He just was on there. Because I don't even remember him. So then when I look at a picture of him from back then. You have your log in?
Hell no. I was about to say, I don't have my... I don't have my login. That's crazy. If you got your login, yo, let me know if you got your login. Let me hold your profile so I can go and look this nigga up real quick. Right, look. And see, he be like, hold up, because he probably just said that. It's like, no, but go ahead. It's cute, though. Then when I go and I look at pictures of him from back then, I'm like, well, damn, why the fuck I got...
I care for him because he was cute as shit. Right. You know, he light skin, tall, he had his little model chiseled looking face. She was looking over the good niggas going to the bad niggas. Mm-hmm. The niggas that treat her like some shit.
Straight poop poop. It's always the niggas that want you that you don't want though. But I honestly, I feel like we linked at the right time because us being younger, you know, had a lot of growing to do, get a lot of, you had to get a lot of play out to system because probably if I would have talked to him back then, he probably would have broke my heart and I probably would have tried to slit his throat because he looked like he was a player. He looked like he was a player. Most definitely. Looked like he probably should have like 10 kids right now, like country Wayne. First of all, you must say, hey yo.
She's on my nerves. I love you, nigga. Oh, my God. Erky, go ahead. So he was persistent. Our communication grew stronger. One day I'm out selling my drinks or whatever. He came to support. He literally got every one of the drinks that I ate in my cooler. And he hugged me.
And this was the first time that I had a hug from a man in a little while. And the hug felt so good. Really? Like it, I, it just, it felt like it was supposed to, like it was supposed to be. And I'm just like, damn, I want another hug. Yeah. Like it just felt right.
I know y'all probably like, what the fuck is this bitch talking about? How would it feel wrong? You know how it is. And you know how it is when you get that hug and the nigga hold you a little tight. He squeeze your little ass. Yeah. And I was just like, oh man, I felt like... That was a comfort hug. It felt like he was squeezing some juices out real quick. But anyway. Oh yeah. Hey yo. I'm done. I'm done.
So anyway, I'm at work one day and he pulled up and he surprised me with plants. Normally guys, you know, get you flowers, you know, but he surprised me with actual potted plants. Did he know you like plants? No, but he loves plants. So that's some weird shit. You don't think that's weird? No, he just got me the shit that he like. Do you like it? Yeah. Did it die yet? No, it's still alive. He told me how to take care of it.
And I feel like from jump, he was trying to give a lasting impression because, you know, when you buy somebody a bouquet of flowers and stuff like that, they die. And people don't even take them home and put them in water. They just like them, take a picture of them, post them, and then throw them away. I mean, I put my shit in water. Or leave them wherever the fuck they at. Yeah, I put my shit in water too. But yeah, no, I feel you. Okay. But I'm just saying there's just something different about a nigga coming to your job with a plant. Like, here you go. But it's all good. Go ahead.
She is a hating ass little somebody. Because niggas ain't never bought her a plant. Fuck no. Ay yo. Shut up. Niggas keep buying her them temporary cut off shits. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Ay yo. Uh-uh. Shut up. That's why she keep cutting these niggas off. But anyway. Whatever. That's for the next episode. Signing off. Uh-uh.
Anyway. So, you know, I have plants that are in my room already. So I added the two plants that he, you know, he purchased with my plants. And I was like, oh my gosh, that was really thoughtful. And then my overthinking is, I'm just like, man, he's trying to make a lasting impression. You know, that's why he bought plants. Like something that if you take care of it, it'll grow. That's like a relationship. If you take care of a relationship, it'll grow. Oh, interesting.
I don't know. This is a message. That's how I took it. Oh, so we didn't say that. You just took it like that. Yeah. Well, that's good. It's manifestation also. Fresh as all. So. What? Bitch. Not. Oh my God. Listen. Fresh as all.
So, um, hey, yo. So over the weeks, we've gotten closer and closer and closer. Obviously, I couldn't keep my legs closed. Cool. I mean, well, you're a woman. You have sexual needs. Yes. You know. And bitch. Wait. It's good. It's good. It's great. First of all, Tony, the tiger. Ah!
So what we don't need for her to go in depth with is because we know just how she keep laughing and just chuckling. I know y'all can actually imagine how her face is right now. Like she is like moving. She can't keep still. She really is feeling this dude. Yes.
He feeling me too. From Facebook. You know, him and I had a conversation and he was just like, you know, he feeling me, I'm feeling him. We like overly feeling each other. And I'm just like, all right, I deleted that Facebook dating shit. I deleted my profile. I want you to delete yours too. And he was down. Yeah.
He deleted that shit. Oh, I love that. I love that. That's how you know that motherfucker still ain't on there. Right. So he. And neither are you. No, we ain't on there. We ain't on there. We deleted that shit. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm going to beat your ass. Listen.
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I went on vacation for a bachelorette celebration because I'm in my best friend's wedding. And I'm at the club with the girls or whatever. We celebrating. And I just happened to click on Instagram. And I clicked on his little story bubble because I saw, you know, he had posted some things. And he posted me. And I choked on the food I was eating in the club. Wait a minute. This nigga posted me.
I was like, niggas don't post me. What was it though? What was it? It was screenshots of me and him on FaceTime, first of all. And it's not creepy to me, but I just didn't know that he be screenshotting us while we on FaceTime. Yes. It was cute. At least I wasn't looking all fucked up or nothing like that. But I was surprised. I was like, oh shit, like-
What was the first thing that go to your mind? I know you didn't think it was creepy, but did you like- I was just like, "Oh shit, this nigga, these bitches about to be mad on his page." And he don't give a fuck. I was flattered. Him and I share locations.
Really? We share locations. We share locations. And he was just like, you know, I don't have anything to hide and I don't want you to think that I'm fucking with these bitches. I never had a nigga share a location with me. So that right there was like, kudos to you. Hats off to you, sir.
That's some real grown man shit. Because I only share locations with my homegirls and my kids and shit. Everything that I'm experiencing with him is new for me just from being posted. I'm just like, oh shit, you're showing me off? This one bitch was hating big time. Talk about some, oh, you only fucking with her because that's just hilarious, sister. Like, bitch, shut the fuck up.
Because, like, that means you came to my page to come look. Yeah, to see. To see who, you know, I was related to. Because, you know, he was trying to get at me back in the 2000s, the early 2000s. So, like, don't hate, bitch. And what if she came back, like, and, bitch, you didn't even want to give him no rep, so get the fuck out of here. I'm like, girl, bye. Bye, Felicia. But anyway. Just wanted to make sure you was on your feet. You know I slap a bitch. No, we can't go that route no more. Y'all say, yeah, speak for yourself.
Nobody playing. But either way, so you are in like a honeymoon phase right now. And guess what? And I, what? I got a boyfriend. Oh my God. And guess what? I don't.
But no, it's all good. No, no, listen. My thing is, I was with you, like, on the phone with you every day, calling to make sure you were good. You never know how long it takes for your heart to heal. And you never know whose treasure you really are. Like, if you get so stuck in one place and you think it's, like, not, like, really the end of the world, but you feel that way because the heartbreak is upon you. Listen, I'm telling you.
It's always somebody waiting on a treasure and that you definitely is what this man was praying for because he told you that. Yes, he did. He told me. He told you that. He told me that he prayed for me. Yeah. And he said, you know, he said, I didn't pray, you know, for you, you know, per se directly, but I asked God to give me what I need. And he gave me you out of nowhere. So that right there, for one, like just the fact that he prays.
Yeah. You know. I love that. He's Godfrey. He prays. So it's just like, you know, he Godfrey and he a hood nigga. So I like that. He Godfrey and he hood. Like not Godfrey. He a Godfrey. And you're not a Godfrey. Fuck.
Look, bitches get all in love and want to be ghetto and shit. He a good friend. Look, but yo, so he, and he loves his kids. I'm a sucker for that. How many kids he got? He has two children. And you have three, so he already know he's down with that. Like, what up with that? Yeah, he's all down for the Brady Bunch shit. He's talking future. He's talking future? He's talking future. Okay. Not the rapper. Not that kind of future. Oh, Jesus. I would hope not.
Sensational. Oh my God. So what type of future shit is he talking? Like long term. You know, marriage, meshing families, family trips. So this is something that he's already wanted then. Yeah, I mean, niggas is getting old for real. He about to be 39. He's a Virgo like me. You know I'm a Zodiac person. He's my Virgo lover. His birthday is a week after mine. Oh Lord. Have you ever dated your son?
Yeah, August 1. So I told you I'm so zodiac. So I had an August Virgo. I've never had a September 1. Okay. But them August 1s ain't right because that's what Michael Jackson was. First of all, bitch, don't ever try to... Bitch, don't ever fucking try to play with Michael like that because you do not even know him. Don't ever do that. You don't say, yeah, not them August 1s because that's what Michael was.
Girl! Yes. Stop playing with Michael Jackson. Okay, so it's safe to say that you have been completely healed of your heartbreak, huh? I have, and I did not think that it would happen so early, but I don't think about anybody else but him. Like, he is all I see. He's all I think of. When he calls, my...
My day just brightens up. He makes my heart smile. I can't even explain how a heart smile feels, but I literally have butterflies. It feels like I have butterflies on my entire torso. Were you scared at first to indulge into anything else after going through a heartbreak?
I really was. Granted, it happened quickly, yes, but it happened naturally. Yeah. It wasn't a forced situation. It was just like a natural bond between two humans. And that's how I feel. Bitch, what the fuck, y'all monkeys? What else y'all gonna be? Goddamn. Not two goddamn humans. Now you trying to be too deep, bitch. Come on now. Come on back with it. Oh my God. Between two humans. Yes. What, you thought y'all was aliens before? I mean...
It's just amazing. He's extremely thoughtful. He sends me random cash apps. And I'm not trying to say... Hold up. Hold the fuck up. That's what all this shit is about. No, it's not. No. Uh-uh, bitch. I knew it was something coming. Oh, no, no. No, you didn't even ever tell me that shit. I know that's right, bitch. No. Okay, put it there. Uh-uh. No, because he's just being...
Y'all say he know all the shit that matters, like my birthday, my cash app. No, no, no. Y'all, she plays all the fucking time, y'all. Don't pay her no mind. Thank y'all. That's just added to the love that he, you know. The cream of the crop. Yeah. He's a sweetheart. And he deserves everything that he's given to me. He deserves it. All right, so cash app him. I got him a nice Father's Day gift.
Oh, you did? Yes. And I took him on a date. Our first official date. And, you know, just to let you women know, it is okay for you to take your man on a fucking date. Like, because they deserve that shit too. Especially when they're showing hella love to you and they always there and doing stuff for you. Reciprocate, bitch. First of all, why they got to be bitches?
Bitch, you was just crying the other day, bitch. All right, look. Look, reciprocate. Like, these men deserve to be treated as kings. Like, they treating us like queens and stuff like that. They deserve the same energy. And all of them are not bad. Like, all of them are not the same. Like, stop looking at every man the same. Mm-hmm. All these niggas...
Ain't no ain't shit niggas, you know? And all of us are not hoes, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were. All of us not big booty hoes. Come on. Yeah. No. Unfortunately, I'm back for the streets, y'all. So, say no. I'm joking. I'm not. But I'm fucking joking. I'm in this bitch crying every night. She definitely not. But it's all right. No, I'm not crying because I just need to get myself ready.
All of us together. It's just like, yo, it never works. Like, for me, like, I'd just be so upset. Like, because I have failed again. Like, this is just... I feel like this is because you got money. Yeah.
I feel like it's because you have money. You're a celebrity. And I feel like it's just hard just being in the limelight. I mean, well, shit, my shit has always failed and I ain't got no motherfucking money. So I don't know. Maybe I'm just a scratch that because, yeah, it ain't because you're a celebrity. Shit just don't be working. It ain't your time. It's not your time. That's what we're going to say. Things have not worked because it's not your time. Look at me. I'm pushing 40.
When I was your age, I was fighting on Lofa's parking lot at 29, 30 years old. Drinking bitches under the car. Yeah. But anyway, nonetheless. Six years later, I am finally in a relationship where someone is proud to have me. And consistent with it. Consistent, proud to have me, not hiding me. Ain't showing it yet.
And, you know, that is... That feels good. That's big dick energy. Ooh, okay. We gonna end this shit right here, y'all, because when you see a man next... Soon as I get off this motherfucking podcast.
You know where I am, y'all. Look, so we come to the end of yet another Can't Believe Reckless episode with your girl, Jessalaria. Say bye, Shay, because we ain't got time. Bye, y'all. Y'all going to see the wedding pictures one day. Oh, my God. This girl about to go to pound town with her nigga real quick. Uh-uh. Ow, listen. Just don't have no more babies, honey. Oh, I can't. This shop is closed. Why? Because you got your tubes out, right? Yeah, but remember I got my uterus burnt, too. Remember you came to pick me up? Hold up. All right, damn. Look, we... Shit, I forgot about that. Remember you came to pick me up in the hospital?
hospital? Yeah, they smoked her uterus like a blunt, nigga. I was like, damn. Listen, y'all love me and I love y'all. And I love y'all motherfuckers too for loving me because y'all love her. And I appreciate all of the support from you guys. Because he was like, fuck that nigga. And he was asking what was going on and all of that. So I just wanted to bring you back on here and just give you a chance to like
Let people know. You know, it's not easy going through a heartbreak, but it feels good when you get past it and you need to know that you need to love yourself. And it's better to let motherfuckers go to show you that, you know, you just wasted your time and show you that they didn't really love you like they most definitely, you know what I mean? Like they really betrayed you. And just like that, we out of here. Make sure you tune in next week, every week, 7 a.m. every Wednesday. Peace. Bye.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going.
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