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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

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And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Just Fix My Mess segment with Carefully Reckless and your girl, Jessalarius. Listen, we're going to jump right in. We got some voice memos. I like it. Keep it coming, y'all.

Hey Jess, so this is going to be kind of long, but I'm going to try to sum it up as quick as I can. I know you always speak about relationship shit, but I'm coming to you for advice, strictly for getting over a friendship or multiple friendships that you know, you know, you grew apart from, or you just don't see eye to eye anymore. So long story short, I moved to a different city when I was in about fifth grade. In fifth grade, I met one

of my best friends who I thought, you know, I would eventually be friends till I die with. And then in sixth grade, I met another one in seventh grade. We all was a trio because they had already knew each other previously. I just never knew that they knew each other. So we made it strong through middle school and even through half of high school. Now,

And in high school, I ended up getting pregnant and I was pulled from public school and I was placed into private school, online private school. So I wasn't there for them as much as I was supposed to be or I could have been. But just give you a little background. I'm the friend out of the group who don't play no shit. I will smack a bitch about them first and ask questions later. So that played a big part. I was like the outspoken person out of the group. I was the one who

took up for the entire group. Not saying that they're soft or anything, but I was just that on-go type of bitch. Now, with me being gone, I couldn't be there for them as much as I would have liked to, like I stated already. But one of them, so the one I met first, she ends up getting the second one into some shit. So she ended up getting her into some drama with some other girls, and the other girls jumped her while...

she was there and she didn't do nothing when this is her beef to begin with. You were supposed to do something, not just stand there. So we instantly stopped being friends with her and I just started being friends with the other one. The other one eventually, instead of just me being her friend, she felt so desperate that she had to go be friends with somebody we didn't already beat up and we weren't friends with at first. And so, yeah,

she just started to be really distant towards me, kind of. And then it's like, I'm raised into a household where I'm not close to my brothers and sisters. So I really rely on friendships to get me by, to get me out of this lonely place in my life.

And she just started to be like really, really fake towards me. And at this point, I couldn't turn back onto the other friend like I wanted to. And I instantly started regretting not being her friend because honestly, with me not even going to the school or being a part of this beef, I shouldn't have took anybody's side. Now that I'm older, this happened years ago.

I'm 21 now. This happened when I was maybe 17. Now that I'm, you know, learned a lot, I feel like that wasn't my place to just decide on what was right and what was wrong and what I had to do because it really had nothing to do with me. So I ended up being homeless at 18 and I was supposed to go live with the friend that I was still friends with. And she literally left me and my son outside because the girl that I wasn't cool with, she was in the house at the moment.

So it's just like, just to sum it up, it's just a lot of shady shit that started to happen. And I already broke up with the first girl and then the second girl was weird. So I eventually broke up with her. And now that we're grown, I'm looking at their lives and they're still doing the same thing. They're still fighting. They're still in drama. They're still pulling up to bitches house, jumping them and they mama. And I have two kids now. I have a five-year-old and I have a 10-month-old baby. And...

I'm just at the point in my life where I know that I cannot be their friends anymore based on where my life is going. I'm starting a business. I'm saving up my money to move out of state because I hate Michigan so much. But I'm on a different level than them. And I know that we can never be friends, but I hate Michigan.

The feeling of just not being their friends. And I just don't know how to get over it. I really, truly miss them, even though I know we can never be how we was. I often find myself on their Facebook pages, looking at what they've been doing, looking at how they've been growing.

growing one of them had a baby and like she's still on the same shit so i'm just coming to you to see like if you can give me any advice on how to move on from these friendships i would gladly appreciate it just because it's just a hard part of my life that i'm trying to

get over. Like, I don't find myself crying over it or anything, but it's so hard to not dwell on the past when those were, like, my sisters that I didn't grow up with. Well, actually, I did grow up with them because I was friends with them for so many years, but, you know, they...

weren't biologically my sisters, but it's just so hard not to miss them or not to think about them. And I just want some type of advice. I haven't reached out to neither of them and I really don't think they would want to hear from me just because of how I left them hanging. Okay. So your story stops there. Okay. Well, listen, it's okay. Girl, look, you don't have to not be their friend.

You don't have to. You don't have to hang out with them all the time either. There's nothing wrong with that. You love these girls and these girls love you. I don't care what y'all been through. Listen, you told me something that y'all went through when y'all were 17 years old. You're 21. That was four years ago. No, not too long. But you grow every year. You have two children now. You know what you want to do with your life. You want to move out of state. You're starting your own business.

All good. You're taking care of your children. By the way, I hear your baby in the back. Hi, baby. But you know what I'm saying? As long as you know what your goals are, it don't matter who your friends are. You don't let people drag you down. You don't do that. Ain't nothing wrong with checking on your friends, your childhood friends, your sisters. You know how many girls don't have that these days?

You know how many girls don't have friends at all, didn't even grow up with friends that they considered sisters? Girl, you know how many fights I've been in for other bitches or how many fights other bitches been in for me? You know what I'm saying? That's the part of growing up. Girl, look, I had a friend who I stuck my neck out there for. She didn't know how to fight. All she knew how to do was talk shit. And we in a club and this girl whooped my ass because I'm the same friend that you are.

Jump out there. But see, you can't beat everybody. This big bitch. I just knew I was, you know, because I'm quick with mine. You know, you know, you know what I'm saying? But she beat my ass. And I didn't leave that friend alone. I was upset that that bitch stood right there and watched me get my ass whooped and act like she didn't see what was going on. She just started dancing to the beat and shit. But I knew she wasn't a fighter.

You get what I'm saying? I knew she talked shit. So that's when you don't say, oh, I ain't fucking with her no more. No, you realize what she is. Oh, okay. That's the point of her being your friend. Oh, okay. All right. That's Tiffany. I'm just, you know, throwing a name out there. Oh, that's Tiffany. I know she don't fight, but I know she going to talk shit.

So I'm going to keep her at arm's length because I don't know one day we might be out and somebody walk up on this bitch and she don't fight. Somebody hit in the back of her head, I'm going to fight with her. But if I don't want to be attached to that part of my friend, I don't have to.

So you have her for different shit. Oh yeah, we can go to church together on Sundays, bitch. Oh no, you can come over my house and we gonna chill. Bring your baby over here. We can have a play date. Oh, we only gonna be in certain facetities where ain't no drama gonna be. You have to know your friends. That's it. You watch them through Facebook. You find yourself missing them. You find, it's okay. That's cause y'all had a lot of fun together. Girl, hit them girls up. Hey, how y'all doing?

I was actually pondering back and forth whether or not I should hit you guys. I didn't know if I wanted to speak with you guys. I didn't know if you guys wanted to speak with me. I'm just saying, hey, I see you guys are doing better now, even if they ain't. They're your sisters. Uplift them.

Uplift them. Shit. That could be your way of getting them out. Whatever the fuck they got going on. That message from you can actually make them say, oh shit. Damn. She doing good. She hit herself up. You know, you might prompt them to want to know more about what you're doing. And then when they see what you're doing, they might want to do the same shit. That still don't mean hang with their ass every day. You don't have time to do that. You're 21. You on your way places. And you got two babies. They your friends. Mama. Mama.

Shit, you can't hang out with your sisters all day if the fuck you wanted to because your real friends, the one that was crying in the back and that other five-year-old, oh, they gonna be there. Oh no, baby, we first. So they come later. There's nothing wrong with still having friendships with people that you feel like aren't on your level. It's fine. What you have to do is not let them bring you down. You can't let them rub off on you. And you seem pretty headstrong.

Well, you ain't going to let that happen. You seem that way. You live by yourself. You got your own place. You know, you could be motivation for them. Obviously, they ain't thinking outside of Michigan. You are. It ain't your job to take them with you, but shit, pass on what you don't.

Just put that shit in the air. But if you miss them, tell them ain't nothing wrong with that. Drop that pride because you 21. I understand. I was 21 too. And I had a whole bunch of pride. Shit. Ain't nothing wrong with telling your sisters you miss them. You love them and you wish them the best. That could open up a whole nother can of worms. Listen, they could be missing you right now too. You never know. Be that person, you know? And if you don't want to, you don't have to, but

I would say do that. You don't want to take that advice? Pray on it. Ask God to send you new connections, new people that you can build healthy connections with. Just pray on that. If you do pray, if you are a Christian or, you know, whatever or whoever you believe in, pray, pray to that, pray. And I'm telling you, ask God to put meaningful connections in your life, connections that you can benefit off of as well as someone else can benefit.

Send you friends that can strengthen you. Where you lack, they can pick you up. Where you feel weak, that friend is going to be your backbone, your strong girl. You know, there's nothing wrong with that. Talk to your sisters. Tell them you miss them. Your friends, you know, tell them you miss them. It's all right. It is okay. Check back in, baby girl.

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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

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All right, before I play this next one, I want to let y'all know this is an update. All right, so look, I've helped this girl three different times. And at this point, this is my client. This is a regular and she's my client. And we have monthly sessions. So bear with her. Here she go. Hey Jess, at this point...

I consider you my homegirl from a distance. But basically, I just wanted to update you on the last situation. I'm really just spilling some tea at this point. But basically, the last situation I was with...

was talking to this guy that I work with. He pretty much seemed interested. You know, he had my number. We texted during work and, you know, he seemed like he wanted to go further because he said that he wanted to text me, but he ended up never texting me again.

And this was like during the weekend. So I assumed that he may have another woman in his life. But like you said, communication is key. And I didn't want to assume. So I asked him once I saw him at work a few days back. This man told me it was not another woman. Mind you, a few days go by and we ended up coming across each other again afterwards.

He's flirting with me. You know, we talking and I'm like jokingly saying like, you know, you're doing all this flirting, but you can't even text me outside of work or, you know, call me or anything. Why this man said,

you know it's hard to do that when I have a living. In my mind, I'm like, a living? But I asked him, I'm like, what is a living? He said, I still live with my child's mother. Yo, child's mother living with her, excuse me, is what I said in my joke. So he goes on to explain, of course,

They no longer get along. She's always arguing with him that he wants to just like separate from her. Yada, yada, yada. I'm taking this all in. I'm not giving no expression. I'm not saying anything back. Anything. I'm just like, okay, okay, yeah, okay.

And he just goes on and on, and like saying that they've been together for 20 years, and he doesn't want to leave because of the child. Just digging himself in the deepest hole ever. A couple days go by again, you know. We ended up coming across each other again. Really, he kind of followed me. I wasn't even trying to deal with this man. But he goes on to invite me. We're talking, like, casually. We're not even really...

flirting at all. I'm over him at this point. But we're talking casually. We're still at work, you know, still keeping professional and cordial. But why this man tells me or asks me do I want to go to a Halloween party with him?

My nigga. No, I don't want to go to a hollabrain party with you. What I said was, though, I'm not doing anything with you because you have a whole situation. I'm not trying to deal with any of that. Do you understand where I'm coming from? I'm trying to really gauge his understanding of how messy the situation is.

He still is like, you know, just saying all this negative stuff about the woman. Like she argues all the time. I know she doesn't love me. Yada, yada, yada. And then he goes on to say, when I see you brighten my day, I'm like a kid in a candy store. Just saying all this reckless.

it's I'm like oh god you must be testing me you must be testing me if it's not a test I don't know what is because he's handsome he's tall he a handyman he has a lot going for himself I'm not gonna lie but like no absolutely not I'm done with the mess Jess I'm done with the mess yeah I just wanted to update you like

cut that off. I already know, like, he's playing games, not keeping it real, not getting himself out of a situation before jumping into a next, like, shows his level of immaturity and just, like, carelessness. So, yes, Jess, I just want to update you on the shenanigans, the everyday lives at this point with these men.

Yeah, I hope you have a beautiful day. I love you. Keep doing what you do. I'm going to always support you. I'm coming to your comedy show here in the DMV on the 31st of December. And yeah, keep rocking, girl. Okay, so that's my client, y'all. That's my baby. Okay, I'm about to get in her ass a little bit, so y'all know bad with her. Girl, you know damn well.

You know damn well, but you already said you know, so I ain't going to beat you up too much. Listen, I'm going to be honest with you. Yes, all of this is true. You brighten up his day. This man is with this woman. He is. They've been together for 20 years. He's not going to ever leave her because that's his comfortability. That's her comfortability. I bet you any amount of money they both

trying to cheat on each other if ain't already doing so. You understand what I'm saying? But they have so much together and they've had so much together that they don't want to walk away. No, it ain't about the damn child. Listen, you said 20 years. Now, if they would have got it for 20 years, all right. Now, if they had a kid 20 years ago, that kid shouldn't even be living at the house. That kid is 20.

But that might not be the case. All right, let's say the kid is younger. Either way, it ain't about the kids. It's about that 20 years that y'all been together. It's about all the shit that they have shared. It's about all the shit that they own together. They own that house together, better believe that. They ain't paying no rent. They own that shit together.

20 years, please. His car probably got her name on it. Her car probably got his name on it. They married without being married. They married without the legal contract. They married without the paperwork, okay? That's what it was. It's giving Yandy and Medusa C's. That's what they know. Now I think they got paperwork now. But no, that's what that is. That is a lifelong relationship. And listen, he's bored. He's bored. At times he's tired of her. At times he's tired of her.

At times he's tired of her, but he also knows it ain't really shit out here either. Not saying you ain't shit, babe.

It ain't really shit out here. So he probably like to go off and have his fun every now and then. Just something to hold him over until he misses her again. But you better believe it's still some type of goddamn love there. It is. It's love and respect of some sort because that nigga turns his phone off or blocks you on the weekends to be with her.

You know what I'm saying? To be with his family. Now, even with that being said, you saying he talking all this reckless shit. You said that he said, oh, you bright in my day. You're beautiful. And I get butterflies when I see you and all that shit. That may not necessarily be a lie. That may be true. You're a young breath of fresh air. Youthful. You got all your teeth. Probably a nice, pretty, beautiful complexion. All of that. He's older.

You said he's handsome. He got things going for himself. He's a handyman. He just got a living, sir.

Goodbye. Good goddamn bye. Calling her a live-in. You with this woman. And I can't stand when a man do that shit. I can't stand when a man lives with a woman who has his children and you come and you talk to outsiders about me as if we ain't together. As if you ain't hitting this at night. As if you don't wake up next to me. As if you don't block these girls. And as if you don't lock yourself in the house with me every fucking weekend. And we have our time.

You sitting here going back, painting the worst picture possible to get these women to fuck with you when really they should be looking at your ass like you fucking lost your mind. Because why are you still there if all of this is bad? I know she don't love me no more. All right, then why you don't talk to me on the weekends? The fuck?

Stop playing with me. No, he's looking for, you know, little temporary side bitches here and there that he can go have his fun with when he's outside the home because he's been with the same person for 20 years. That's how that shit goes sometimes. But he's not leaving her. And you ain't about to fuck with him. I don't care what you say. You ain't about to fuck with him. Yeah, he handsome. Yeah, he can light up when he see you every fucking time. Yeah, light, light, light up.

I don't care. You can turn it to a goddamn Christmas tree every time you see me, sir. We not fucking around. We not doing nothing. We not about to be together. No, we not. Halloween party, my ass. That's because it was on a Monday. If the Halloween party was on a Saturday, he wouldn't have invited you because he would be with the living. Calling her a living. Sir, you need a therapist. You don't need a little young girl. You don't need a girlfriend and a living. You need a therapist to help you find that spark with your living again.

You need somebody to help you or you need to move the fuck out. Wake up and realize that ain't where you want to be. But he too old to not realize that. So that's what I'm saying. No, he may not be happy with this woman, but he loves her and they are working it out in their own little way because girl ain't leaving that woman. They're both too comfortable with each other. So you check back in with me.

Bring me some more mess so I can fix it. I ain't finna keep playing with you, girl. That's my girl, though. That is my girl. I can't. The nerve of these men. I'm telling y'all. I'm telling y'all. Well, look, we're going to end the episode right here, right now. I love you guys the way y'all love me back. Tune in to Reckless Discussions each and every Wednesday at 7 p.m. only on YouTube. Again, if you have mess, you can send it to Carefully Reckless. You can send it to Reckless Discussions.

I will read or listen if the story moves me and I feel like it's something that I can do. If I have not ever read your story, if you, you know, cause I, I see a lot of y'all mad in my emails. Y'all be saying, I've sent you this, that, da, da, da, da, da. Baby, you need some real goddamn help. You need to go pay for some shit. You don't need for me to repeat what y'all telling me on this goddamn podcast.

A lot of y'all are submitting things and going through things that require medical attention. So I don't want to ever use a severe situation that I think is detrimental to your health and health.

our community just for the likeness of a podcast, just for likes and views. No, I would never. I don't want to do that. But I do read a lot and I do be seeing the shit, but it's a lot of y'all. I can't. Man, no, I can't. I can't. I need you women to really, really seek professional help

I don't want to be responsible for like domestic violence mess. These men are whooping your asses. These men are doing shit to your kids. Why the fuck are you sending Jess with the mess this shit? I want to help, but that's the reason why I can't be a real therapist or a real cop or a real judge because you can't help everybody.

And I'm the type of person that would love to help everybody. I would feel horrible if there was somebody that I tried to help and I couldn't. I failed.

So please y'all need medical attention. I cannot, I will not do that. And it's even worse things than that. Other than the two things I just said, y'all are in like really, really bad situations, man. That's detrimental to your health. I can't, I can't, I'm not going to read that and try to fix it. Cause I don't know. I don't know what to do for you guys. I can't, I can't physically come get you. So, um,

What I can do is keep praying for all the men and women out there who are battered and being treated wrongly and in danger. And just like that, y'all, I love y'all. Tune in next week. Love ya. Bye. Bye.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

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