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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I can kill GT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going.
Black Tech Green Money isn't just about telling the stories of successful black entrepreneurs.
It's also about giving actionable and wealth building strategies that help you protect the future of our communities. That's why we're pleased to be supported by State Farm Insurance. State Farm also believes that we must invest in our communities to achieve economic growth by sponsoring programs like the ACSO, which rewards high school students for their academic achievements. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪
And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless with your girl Jess Hilarious. We're going to jump right into Jess Fix My Mess. We do not have any voice memos, so I'm just going to be reading. All right, here we go. Hey Jess, I'm a big fan. I go and see you every time you come to town. I've been doing so good for myself. I'm a newly licensed cosmetologist. I graduated in December with an associate's in cosmetology and business in two years.
I currently have a full scholarship to a private university to complete my bachelor in computer science this fall. I'm currently in the Army National Guard for North Carolina. I've been in for eight years, and for the most part, I'm financially stable. Since January, I've picked up two part-time jobs, a work-study job, and I volunteer my time for funeral services when I'm free. Oh, God.
I was deployed in 2019 and was overseas during COVID. I really accomplished a lot in a little time. I even ran cross country with my school for two years and won two championships. But lately I've been really sad, like really sad. It's been almost three months since I stopped running heavily and honestly, I thought that was my issue. So I started working out and running again. I still feel sad. I love to paint and even painting doesn't help me feel better. My love life sucks.
And you put four S's on that shit. It sucks. I have no boyfriend. I'm not even talking or messaging anyone on the regular. I'm really alone. I have friends, but they are all in relationships, some married, all with kids, though. I feel like I'm so different from everyone around me. I've tried talking to people, but that does mean no good.
The men around here are some bitches. I'm lonely. I've seen professional help, which saved my life after my deployment. I just feel like I'm missing something and I'm hurting. I'm happy with myself and I have peace within myself, but I'm just lonely. My sister had a mental illness, which played the biggest part in my life. I created a monster, my alter ego, because of the emotional weight it had on my life. It really got bad.
I've dug myself out of the hurt and anger that came with it. Now that I'm accomplishing all of these things and doing good for myself, I feel more and more lonely. I don't want a relationship, but I need someone there for me.
I haven't had intercourse in months and I just want a hug. I'm not getting any of my emotional needs met from anybody in my life. I love myself more than anything. I have plans to take over the world, but I'm missing something. I know you're a successful black woman and I listen to you all the time. You give such great advice and you have such a huge platform. Any advice on getting out of this loneliness on the journey of being successful? I'm so stuck. I'm 27, by the way. What?
27. I'm young enough to take my time. But then again, I'm stepping into a whole different part of womanhood. I really need to get over this emotional hump. All right, so I just want to apologize for the background noise. I'm actually in my home. I'm getting it cleaned right now. And I have to find any, any and every time I can to deliver y'all these episodes. So pardon me and pardon my cleaners. But listen, first and foremost, I can sympathize with you because...
I'm not going to say I'm going through the same thing, but I'm kind of in the same place in my life. I wouldn't consider it going through something. And the only reason why I say that is, it's just not your time. Here I am 31 and I thought that
that there was a time clock on my love life. I thought that there was like a deadline that I had to reach in order for me to get married or a deadline to have kids, a deadline to be in love. It literally is none of that. It's just not your time. Just like it's not my time. Now you're 27. You're still in your 20s. I think...
What you are probably feeling is that you're so busy because you talk about how independent you are, how you got all this going on, all your accolades. You know, you've been in school doing this. You got this degree. You're working on this degree. You love yourself and all this.
I think you don't even make room enough for somebody else to tell you any of that because that's all you gave me up front. I don't know if you ever saw the movie Think Like a Man. Taraji P. Henson's character on there was a very strong, independent woman who felt like she didn't need a man for anything. She just wanted that feeling. She just wanted to be hugged. She wanted to be kissed. But
She still felt as if, oh, I don't need a man for anything. I don't need love. I don't need, I just want it. I feel that's how you are. You're just a bit younger. We get so caught up in what we can do for ourselves that we never really give grace to our companion or whoever the companion may be in the future or whatever to do the same.
Now you said that you are stepping into a whole different part of womanhood. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you have to have everything that you think you should have just because you're stepping into a whole point of womanhood. Now you said you're the loneliest one in your whole friend circle. Everybody else is in relationships or they're married.
They have different paths. We often get caught up in what other people are doing that we can't really focus on ourselves. You feel like you're deserving of love because you accomplished everything else. No, you may have to wait
longer for love than anything else because you already have everything. And then it may just not be your season to love. Maybe you're supposed to be so focused that you'll be distracted by love if it came to you right now. You have to think positive in all aspects of your life. That's the only negative in your mind. And it's not even a negative. It's just not your time. That is the only advice I have for you. Take your time because it's not time.
It's not your time for love. Take your time doing everything else. Continue to stay focused. Continue to work very, very hard. And it'll all pay off. I don't know if you are spiritual. I don't know if you're religious. But the God that I pray to is a very, very loyal God. And he's not ever going to let us be lonely. You're not lonely. You're just alone.
And I'm not telling you how to feel. I'm just telling you, I know the feeling all too well. I thought it was a season of loneliness for me. No, it's not. It was just that I was alone. And you have to learn how to be by yourself. If you love yourself, that's what you're going to do most.
you know, first, because you need to turn that definition of loneliness into just being alone. You just don't like being alone, but you have to learn how to do that and love on yourself. So when someone finally does come to love on you, you'll know how to accept it. You know, you have to make certain decisions about yourself first.
and what you'll take and what you won't take and just learn yourself. You need to be taking this time to learn yourself. You're still in your 20s. You don't even really get to know who you are until you step into that 30 mark.
I thought I had it all figured out too when I was 23 and 25 and 26. It's just because my parents raised a very mature young lady. So I'm well before my time, but I still didn't know everything. You're well before your time. You still don't know everything. You don't know who you are going to be as a woman in love. You just don't know. So you can't just make that decision and just stop.
say, I'm tired of being lonely. Nobody's going to, you know, I don't talk to anybody right now. Do you get out? It seems like you work so much that you wouldn't even be able to mix and mingle. It seems like you don't really get out for like just drinks. You don't. And then have you ever gotten any advice from your married friends and from your friends and relationships and from the outside looking in?
Are they all great and in love and happy? Is every single person happy? You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you could be saving yourself. Sometimes it's just better to hold fast and wait. It's not your time, baby. It ain't even my time. I used to wake up every day like I need to have kids by 30. I need to be married by 32. Why do we put deadlines on ourselves?
I come to tell you right now, I'm 31 and I see what my 30s are going to be like now. I'm going to be in movies. I'm going to barely have time to sit down, get married and have a baby. That doesn't mean it's not going to happen. But now I notice I'm not saying the same thing that I was saying at 28 and 27 that I'm saying at 31.
My deadline was pushed out. Why? Because it's not supposed to be a deadline put on your life for anything. The only deadline you have is death. And we don't know what that is. Fortunately, we don't know when that is. So check back in with me. I'll let you know when I get a man. You let me know when you get a man. All right. All right. I love you. You young, black, successful woman. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.
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AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.
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Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.
State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
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State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GTDT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you've ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to stop.
I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu. I'm Victoria Cash, and I want to invite you to a place called Lucky Land, where you can play over 100 social casino-style games for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. ♪
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We're going to call this a fall from grace. Oh, Lord, girl, you've been watching too much Tyler Perry. Let me take you back to the summer of 2020 before COVID hit. I was living my best life, Jess. Traveling, partying on the lodge with it. It's a Detroit thing. Hot girl summer vibes all around. For the first time in a long time, I finally felt like I found myself. I was drama free, genuinely happy and abandoned. You must have meant unabandoned.
I felt free. I was going through a little breakup and my feelings were hurt, but I was healing, but still enjoying my life. Fast forward to 2021 and COVID was on a rampage.
And to be honest, I worked so much that I didn't even know what was going on until I went to the grocery store and it was completely empty. And I was like, damn, this is real. I was still happy and doing me, but I was just in the house with it until one day I was approached by this guy. We're going to call him Gossip Boy. Damn. Oh, Lord. Can't nothing be good about a nigga you calling Gossip Boy.
Gossip Boy came up to me and started a conversation with me, and he seemed to be a cool guy. So I gave him my number, we hit it off pretty quickly, and we started spending time together. What I like most about him is that he made me laugh, and we had a pretty good vibe. He was staying with his sister at the time, so the first time we hung out was at my apartment. Justice Man gave me big dick vibes, oh wow, and I was really feeling him. One thing led to another, and clothes started coming off, and bitch, I'm excited. Oh!
Because I just knew that he had the King Kong. Man, when that nigga took off his pants, my face went from mm-hmm to ugh. Translation, buddy had a mini beer can.
But I still went through with it because I genuinely liked him. After that happened, he would be at my place all the time and basically was moved in. Oh, shit. The first red flag. I was about to say, girl. All right. We worked at a factory and I pretty much stayed to myself. Nobody knew me until I started talking to him. And people somehow knew all of our business. Oh.
I would ask him, why are you running your mouth? Gossiping like a bitch. Every time I would ask him, he would deny telling anybody anything. Red flag number two.
Every time we had sex, he would apologize for how small his dick is in the middle of us having sex. And I'm like, nigga, I'm trying to concentrate on bussing. Shut up. Red flag number three. He always said I was going to have his baby. I tried to get rid of him, but he always suckered me into staying with him. By July, I was really over it. And as soon as I was about to kick his ass to the curb, guess who popped up pregnant? Ding, ding, ding your ass.
Damn, damn, damn, and my Florida Evans voice. So I found out that I was eight weeks pregnant and shit still ain't improving. So one day I left work early. He stayed, so I politely put his stuff on the other side of the door. Wait.
I told him we should just focus on co-parenting and see what happens. He agreed and things started to get better. Okay. Until my friend told me he was messing around with another girl at our job. I didn't know because my job put me on maternity leave early. When I confronted him about it, he said he was just pimping her out and he didn't care about her. We argued for weeks. I
I asked him to just please leave her alone and focus on our family. That bitch told me he ain't giving up on this opportunity for nobody. So once he said that, I blocked him and just focused on me and my pregnancy. I was hurt. But anyways, when I was five months pregnant, I decided to move out of the state to have more support for my family. I told him about it. He didn't like it, but I had to do what was best for my daughter. Mm hmm.
So one day I call him because I missed him and that's when I found out that the girl he was pimping out was pregnant with his child too.
And he was happy. He told me he finally got what he wanted and this is going to be end all be all. When I tell you that broke me, Jess, like how could you do that to me? Like I have never been betrayed like that in my life. Yes, we technically weren't together, but I was pregnant with your child. I wasn't out here fucking nobody. I was alone and pregnant for months.
I would ask him to help me get some things for our daughter. And he would tell me his girl and his son needs it more. Mm-hmm.
He treated my daughter like a second option. He would verbally abuse me. And yeah, I popped my shit too. Yeah, you from Detroit, I know. But it's different when a nigga is constantly gaslighting me. Somehow he finds a way to be a victim. Oh, that manipulating shit. Girl, I can't stand it. It's really beyond me. Yes, I had my petty moments and said fucked up things to him. But he is the common denominator for everything. He blames me for having another baby.
I had my daughter in March of 2022 and a few days later, I got a real bad case of COVID and pneumonia to the point where I was incubated for three weeks and I almost died. So dealing with that trauma, being a new mom and the bullshit from him had did a lot of damage to my mental health. I became a depressed alcoholic and overall an unpleasant person to be all around.
I finally made the decision to cut him off and focus on myself and my daughter. But even with that, it didn't help. Every time I get drunk and I'm talking about blacked out drink, I'm crying and talking about my baby daddy hurt me. Oh, God. I just want to heal. I just want to be happy again. Jess, can you please help me and give me some advice? Thank you. And I'm sorry for the long written message. P.S. I forgot to mention that the girl he was messing with.
knew about me the whole time and she be on fuck shit with his ass. But it's okay because when I see her or them, I'm beating their ass. I love you, Jess. Also, I'm a real person, but I deleted all my social media accounts. So I created this one to contact you. Okay, I totally get it, girl. It don't matter. I didn't even need that last part. I could tell you a real person because this shit is too fucking specific for you not to be a fucking real person. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
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All right. First and foremost, let's start from where you caught my attention. All right. So you wanted it to be over. You did. You really did want it to be over with him. You put his shit on the other side of your door. You was ready. You were fed up with it. You didn't quite tell me exactly why you were fed up with it, because I know the little penis is.
Cannot be the only thing Because you still hung in there You hung in there enough To get the bun in the oven He got you pregnant That little big can Had some little soldiers Marching through it Alright Because he got your ass pregnant Big dick or not Alright
But you didn't quite tell me why you want it to be done. That's all you mentioned was just his small penis. All right. But you had his stuff outside the dough. You find out you pregnant. You still wanted him gone. It wasn't until you found out that he was dealing with somebody else at the job. Then you were hurt. Now, listen, were you hurt because you didn't want him to deal with nobody else?
Was it just the fact that it was somebody at the job? Did you think that he may have been fucking with somebody else before y'all broke up or what? Because if you wanted him gone that bad, why did it matter to you so much to find out that he was dealing with somebody like y'all weren't together? You know what I mean? You had already put him out by then.
So I'm just curious to know. Now, it could have been a hormonal situation because you said you were pregnant. You could have been having different feelings that would change. You could have been in and out with it like I want him, but then I don't want him. And these could have all been blamed on your hormonal changes or whatever with you being pregnant. But it seemed that you were very concrete in your answer because you wanted this nigga gone before you even found out that you were pregnant. So that's what I'm trying to get to. But you're not here to tell.
Talk to me in real time about it. So I want you to check back with me. Moving on to a later part of the story. You said let's go parents. He was fine with that. But then, OK, I'm backpedaling because that's what I'm saying. You are fine with everything until you found out about the damn girl. So that's why I say, were you really over him? Because sometimes we may think that we don't want a person until they're gone.
In other words, basically, you don't know what you got until it's gone. Now, I'm not saying he was the best thing that ever happened to you and or nor vice versa. I'm not saying you're the best thing to happen to him. But obviously, you felt the way and you wanted him back after you found out that he was with somebody else. You said the girl knew about you the whole time. Fuck her. She ain't got no loyalty to you. You ain't gonna be her ass because you got a daughter to take care of. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck that. All right. You ain't gonna be her ass.
Because to be honest with you, her daughter or her child and your child are siblings, whether you like it or not. So don't beat her ass. Don't beat her ass. I made that mistake. One of my baby fathers, other baby mothers, I beat her ass. We're cordial now, but I still regret doing that because I wasn't thinking about my child or her child, who I also look at as another child of mine. You know what I'm saying? And how it could potentially hurt them later. Or my son could say to his sister one day, they argue. And that's when my mother beat your mother ass.
You know, does she look at me a certain way or, you know, vice versa? You just don't want to do that. You're playing a dangerous game when it comes to your children and their parent, the other parent. They're not worth it anyway. All right, you moved out of town. He ain't doing shit for your baby.
He could be bitter that you didn't want a relationship with him. He could be bitter. I'm not justifying, but he just seems like he's bitter to you. You can't make a man step up and do shit. So you need to go through the courts because obviously y'all don't even live in the same place. You need help with their baby. So this is a good time to put them on child support. Yep. This is a good time because obviously,
This would be a case where the mom actually needed, you know, women put men on child support for many different reasons. But the right reason is for the child and because you can't do everything on your own and you did not make that baby girl on your own. So this is what I would call a great opportunity to seek assistance through the courts, put them on child support, some type of government assistance you would need to help take care of your baby. All right.
I understand that you're bitter, but you also need to heal. Like you said, you need to fucking heal. He ain't coming back. And even if the fuck he would come back, would you take him? Exactly. We have to ask ourselves that. What could he give you right now to make you happy? Another baby? Love? A relationship? A cheating one? Back and forth? What could he do right now to make you happy? Nothing.
Take care of your daughter. But it ain't even that for you. It's the fact that you're still bitter about what he did to you with another woman. It ain't even all about your daughter. Yes, you're damn sure upset that he won't help you take care of your baby, but you're upset that
with matters of the heart too, you know, more so what he did to you in the relationship and what he didn't do after the relationship or, you know, or you felt like he cheated or whatever, or just we, sometimes we don't want to see the person that we love with someone else. We're not ready to move on, but you need to do so. And it starts with, with you just reflecting on who you are and you having to do everything by yourself.
And asking yourself that real question, that very real question. What could this nigga do for me right now that's going to make me happy in my heart? Not the baby, me. What can he do? Drop everything and come live here. Then he got another baby. Then he still got other kids with that other girl somewhere else. You know what I'm saying?
Like just just just wake up and think about that because you deserve much better and you're going to get much better because you're still young. You got a lot more life to live. And so does your baby girl. Get back to me, because if you feel like nobody love you, I'm telling you, I love you. And that little girl loves you, too. So, no, ain't nobody worth your peace and your sanity because you need that to take care of your child and you need that to get past all your trauma. And that's just what it is. It's past trauma. I'm not asking you to forget it.
in a sense but in a sense I am move on and forget it bury that shit because remembering ain't gonna do nothing for you but hold you back and just like that we've come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl just hilarious make sure you tune in to co-parents and therapy every other Wednesday listen y'all my trip in Aruba threw me off y'all I didn't
deliver an episode for carefully reckless I didn't deliver co-parenting on YouTube I didn't deliver any promotions for my messy vision products my glasses and we got new new glasses coming soon I also will be doing breakfast club with DJ Envy and motherfucking Charlamagne Tha God y'all listen I'll be doing it all this week if you ain't already heard make sure you tune in to carefully reckless each and every Wednesday and in my deepest pan boys peace
I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight. Available for purchase
We'll be right back.
Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get in on them when you're trading your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from
the real talk so grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T AT&T connecting changes everything requires trading of Galaxy S Note and Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for zero dollars additional fees terms and restrictions apply see att.com slash samsung or visit an AT&T store for details
State Farm Insurance knows that understanding and investing in our cultural identity is paramount in protecting our future. We know what it's like to go from nothing to something, to wish that we had better financial literacy when we were younger. Luckily, State Farm is here to help. With funding programs like Project Ready, which is committed to education achievement and has already awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to black and brown youth since 2021. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
The fall season. We don't have to let it happen yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.