Reporting Live from the Bronx
20:05 Share

Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T.

I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪

Oh shit, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl Just Hilarious. Now if y'all hear an AC unit, it's because I'm in this fucking shoebox of a house in Bronx, New York. Now, not coming at the Bronx, not coming at any type of establishment or home or residency in New York, but y'all know they try to fit as many fucking people as possible.

In the city as they can. So they build all these low ass houses put together like this. And it's like a fucking, like a raw dominoes and shit. But Bronx, whatever. So we're going to jump straight into it. Again, I'm fixing people's mess. Now we had a couple updates. I'm not going to play the updates this week. I'm going to save that for next week because we had some pretty rough stories I was reading. Again, everyone stays anonymous and we're going to jump straight in.

Hi, Jess. I need your help. I am 27 years old and I am in a very rough and convoluted place in my life. That's the first time I've ever heard of that shit. I lost my mother to stage four breast cancer last year. I'm so sorry. Only after a week of finding out that she was even sick. She, along with my father, were preachers. Since then, I've really been hurting emotionally and really seeking some reprieve in the form of a man.

For context, I am a gay black man and I have never, ever been in a relationship. I try to approach men in person through DMs, dating apps, etc. I find that I am usually met with the same responses, which are either, you're nice, but you aren't what I'm looking for. Absolutely no response at all, even in person. Or I'm immediately blocked on their social media at the top of the conversation. Damn, what are you being weird? What the fuck is going on?

Because I'm looking at your profile and you are very handsome, you know, and gorgeous at the same time, you know, when you slapped that makeup on. I know that I am not the ideal beauty for gay men, but it is hard to gauge why this has happened my entire life. I'm an independent person with his own loft, car, job, etc. But no one seems like they care about those things.

What advice can you give me to help gain clarity on my situation? And is my desire for experiencing romance something that I should just pray away because it isn't in the cards for me? Any guidance will be greatly appreciated. Jess, thank you in advance. First of all, babes, because I'm not going to say your name, although I want to because that's how mad I am with you. It seems like you have low self-esteem. That's the first thing I noticed just off the rip with you talking about

I also want to say I do feel for you and my heart goes out to you for losing your mom. And you said your dad as well. You use the tense of dad.

past because you said they were preachers. I don't know if your father is deceased, but I do give you my condolences for that. Now, yes, I do see that you seem like you don't have the least bit of confidence to say something like that. And then you think that you should give up. Baby, you're only 27 years old. Okay. You may be in a rough place right now. And maybe that actually is causing a lot of insecurity as well. Maybe you feel flawed.

I don't know exactly why. I also noticed in your Instagram pictures, you wear a lot of makeup, so you can't get up on you. Now, listen, I've seen drag queens do that, but you're not a drag queen. I mean, if I'm right, you're just...

a gay man who loves to wear makeup, but you put a lot of it on. You also don't have any pictures of you without makeup. That's also a sign that you don't have high self-esteem. You don't think that the natural you is beautiful and is handsome and pretty. So you're covering up yourself a lot. I see that. You also say you've never been in a relationship. Have you been gay all your life? Have you ever experienced the woman being with a woman or being attracted to them? Why haven't you ever been in a relationship?

Has this always been a problem for you? Now, you said this has been happening your whole entire life. But you know how you have puppy love where you're in like middle school. I wonder if you ever had like a playboy friend or a playgirl friend or somebody that you liked, like your first little crush in school, in those grade school years, you know, because that'll also tell me a lot about you as well. Now, you've tried approaching men in person through DMs and dating apps.

And you're met with the same responses. Usually when people say, you're nice, but you aren't what I'm looking for. You're either trying to buy them. You're very clingy. You're overbearing. Now, these are not what I'm deeming you. This is not what I'm calling you. I'm just saying that's what people with those responses are kind of thinking. You probably come on very strong and you probably are extremely likable, but you probably overdo it in those settings because you are looking for love.

But that's the problem. You're looking for it and you're really, really on the prowl. And that's why it's not coming. Just be yourself. But it kind of seems like you don't know who you are yet. You don't know exactly who you are. And that has nothing to do with your sexuality. You probably still don't know what you want in a man. Because how can you even know what you want if you've never been in a relationship? You know you want to be happy, but getting down to the nitty gritty and the specifics...

With specifics, you really don't know what you're looking for. What are you looking for? Do you have a type? Do you know what you want from a man when you finally get one? Like, do you have a list of deal breakers and a list of demands? Do you know your love languages? Do you know...

How you may come off to people sometimes. Do you know how to be laid back and chill? Have you ever asked yourself all these? You have to self-assess. Like you have to test yourself and really get to know yourself. It doesn't seem like you know yourself enough to even know why you're having this issue with dating.

So that's the first thing you have to do. Get to know yourself before you try to jump in a relationship after not having one your whole entire life. Because when you find out who you are, then you can be yourself. And then that's what just attracts people. A confident person who is sure of themselves, who can adapt in any social setting. That's how you attract people. And that seems hard. It probably seems easier said than done. But that's what you have to do.

Now, what's going on with people immediately blocking you on social media when you try to come in? Are you sending dick pics or are you saying some shit like, you know, how are you running these people away? Because ain't nobody just going to immediately block your ass and keep it moving. There has to be something that you're doing. Ain't nobody playing with you now.

You gotta tell me what do you be doing? That sound like you be just jumping in niggas DMs like, yeah, I'm trying to suck your dick from the back. Damn. Or, hey, you ever ate ass before? You know what I'm saying? Come on now. Just what are you saying? You want to sneak dick after 12? Oh, yeah. Like, what's going on? You trying to swim through these chocolate alleys? Are you saying these kind of things? Because, yes, I would block you too. You gotta check yourself sometimes. Ain't nobody just blocking you for no reason.

And then you said sometimes you get absolutely no response. Who are you going at? Like, who have you hollered at? It also depends on the status as well. Like, are you jumping in celebrities DMs? Are you like, who are you? Are you dating on your level? Are you trying to date on your level? And when I say on your level, I mean people that you can actually see. Somebody that you just don't see on the internet. People that you can actually...

meet up with and go on dates and actually, you know, like people in your own city and people who work in the same profession as you and things like that. That's what I mean when I say on your level. It has nothing to do with money, has nothing to do with popularity. Just someone that can compare to you like your companion. And congratulations on being independent. I'm glad. I'm glad that you are a young, successful Black man who has his own loft, car, job, all of that. It sounds good.

But you also said it seems like no one cares about these things. I can see why that's defeating a little bit. But a part of you better be glad that people don't care about those things because then people would take advantage of you for the things you do have. You know, just because of the things you do have, you have a good job. Oh, yeah. People see that they see dollar signs. Got his own car. OK, he might take me anywhere I want to go or he can pick me up and drive me around.

He works. Okay, so I don't have to work. No, people will take advantage of people like you. So you actually should be glad that not a lot of people care about those things and you being independent and having your own. That's my advice for you. Look inside of yourself and try to work on your self-esteem and your confidence and learning to live with who you are instead of trying to cover it up. Okay? That's what you need to do because as soon as you learn

To be yourself. You'll be yourself and be you with the fullest, most bubbliest,

personality, being you most efficiently, the people will come to you. And before you know it, you're going to be struggling with picking motherfuckers. You're going to be like, hold up. I know I asked, you know, I asked for this advice and I know I said, wasn't nobody trying to pay me no mind, but now it's too many niggas for me to focus. Wait a minute. So that's what you need to work on. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals.

Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are really worth talking about. Like their deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. With this amazing deal, you can trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition for a new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. It's so good. In fact, it'll have you shouting from the rooftop.

So get yourself down to street level and learn how to snag a new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 on AT&T and maybe grab a ladder on the way home. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer, 256 gigabyte for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in a spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your gateway to larger-than-life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof, everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available towing capacity of up

to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains. Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more.

Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu. Moving on.

I'm finding it nearly impossible to not drink water whenever I get the chance. I don't and I have never let it interfere with my work or functionality. I still work full time and maintain relationships and stuff like that.

However, I simply cannot resist drinking in high volume whenever the opportunity presents itself, mainly at my home on my own. And I feel like it's ultimately getting in the way of my intellectual and spiritual growth. It's like I have an appetite for fun and good times that I simply can't satisfy no matter how many bottles I empty.

I understand it's not necessarily as bad as smoking meth or crack every night, but it's still effectively similar in principle. So girl, I need some advice on how to lower my intake and learn how to appreciate a sober night at home. Love and respect from the United Kingdom.

Hey, baby girl, listen, I literally just had the same problem. I just, I'm going to say suffer because I have ulcerative colitis and drinking flares that up.

It's when you have ulcers on your colon and it gets inflamed with your diet. I'm not supposed to eat a lot of fried foods, a lot of spicy shit, a lot of liquor. So when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and they told me that, you know, I couldn't drink heavy liquor like consistently, I couldn't do it or it would get worse. And it ultimately damages your liver and then other things get fucked up and then everything else gets fucked up. And then, you know, it's just an ongoing process.

health issue. I took breaks. Now, you don't have to stop drinking. That would be nice as well. That would be greater than anything. However, you don't always have to. Because you drink so much, it will be wiser and easier for you to wean yourself off this way. If you drink every day, drink every other day. Put yourself on a schedule until you wean yourself completely down to where you think you'll be fine.

If you drink every day, put yourself on a schedule. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, and then go back to Monday. So two of those days you are drinking back to back, but that's how you wean yourself. If you're not going to go to AA, if you're not going to seek professional help, if you're not going to do that, these are some home remedies you can do. Drink every

every other day for two weeks. Then for the following two weeks, drink every two days. Do that for two weeks. And then for the following two weeks, drink every three days until your drinking minimalizes so much where you're only doing it on the weekends now, or you're only doing it in the middle of the week or two, three times a week now.

You have to do that. And you have to be strong-willed enough, which you admit to me that you are not. So it does seem like if you can't do this, slowly but surely minimalizing your intake, you just may need to seek alcohol therapy. You may need to seek professional help that I can't give you. I can just tell you what's not good for you in drinking every day, whether you're functional or not. It's not good because you even admit it.

It's starting to fuck with your intellectual and spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is one thing that I have delayed in my life time and time again. So I know exactly how you feel.

That's why you have to put your spirit first. Your spirit is loud and it's like a mosquito. It keeps following you. It keeps biting you. It keeps poking you and put your spirit is loud. You just have to listen to it. And you have to be serious about this problem that you're telling me you have. And I know that, you know, you have it because you wouldn't be telling me you got the damn problem. So just pace yourself, try to pace yourself.

Remember, every other day for two weeks, then every two days for two weeks, then every three days for two weeks, all the way until you get to drinking two days a week, which can be on the days where you don't work. Try that. Check back in with me. All right. And thank you for sending in your mess all the way from the UK, baby. I shall be there soon. See, Bradley, but I didn't ask you to come here. I need you to fix my mess. I'm a drunk.

All right, last but not least. Hey, Jess, I'm in desperate need of some advice. So a couple months ago, my boyfriend threw a party and did not invite me. I played it cool until the day of the party, got fine as fuck and popped up with some of my homegirls. Parties aren't my thing. So he was completely surprised at the party. I was confronted by a female who admitted to having a sexual relationship with my man.

As devastated as I was, I played it cool because I'm not giving no bitch the power to see me cry, as you shouldn't. She showed me text messages, videos, pictures, and cash apps, everything. Damn. She was playing it like she was the other woman, and my BF was two-timing the both of us. Whole time, she knew about me and had been stalking me for months. During the whole encounter, my boyfriend was nowhere to be found. The next day, he was begging for my forgiveness.

Even asked me to marry him. Fast forward to today. Although we aren't together, he's still been trying his hardest to prove to me that he's changed and wants me to take him back. So my question to you is, is once a cheater always a cheater? Or do you think it was just a mistake that helped him grow up and realize what he wants? All right. So that was very detailed, honey bun. Okay, so this was just a couple months ago. All right. I'm not saying it's impossible to grow up in a couple months.

But what I'm saying is it hasn't been that much time because this was a couple months. It hasn't been that much time since this shit happened. And I just don't want you to jump back in because you are young and you do love your boyfriend. I mean, your ex-boyfriend, you know, your now ex-boyfriend.

I just don't want you to jump back in it and then be disappointed again. I think you should give him more time. He needs to feel that shit for a little bit more than a couple months because apparently he was lying to y'all, both of y'all for a long time. Now, although she knew about you, she still owes you nothing. And this shit would have still been going on if she would have never approached you at that party. If you would have never decided to go to the party that he didn't invite you to.

Now that says a lot because he's your boyfriend. He had a party. His girlfriend wasn't invited, but the side bitch was invited because she was there.

And how the hell he was nowhere to be found if it was his party? And you and the side bitch then had a whole goddamn shabwinga shenanigan talk. And he ain't nowhere to be found. Well, did he leave the party? Because if that's the case, you know why the hell he wasn't nowhere to be found. Because now both of his girls are at the same party.

Okay. It's given the boy is mine. That's what it's given. It's given the boy is mine music video with Mekhi Pfeiffer, Brandy and Monica. That's what it's given. If you don't know what I'm talking about, cause you so damn young, you ain't nothing but a little whippersnapper. Then go and search that video on YouTube. It's a very good music video at the end. Well, look, I ain't going to ruin it for you. Back to your story. Yes. So I would give him a lot more months.

That girl, whether she knew about your ass or not, he cheated. He'd been lying to both of y'all. And this has been going on for quite some time. And that's why it was so good. That's why he was having his cake and eating it too. It was played very well because one girl knew. One girl actually knew. See, it's hard when both of y'all don't know.

It's hard when a guy is two-timing two women who don't know about each other. It's a little easier to move when one of the bitches know about the other one. Because now you only got one to hide everything from. And that's the actual girlfriend. Now, if he's begging you to come back, that's exactly what the fuck he should be doing. Okay? And I'm not saying he doesn't mean it. I'm not saying he hasn't come to his senses. But you ain't over that shit. I know you're not over it.

I can tell by the way you type the story to me. I know you're not over it, but you do love him. So I would say give it to the end of the year. We in August. See how you feel around Christmas. If that's too long, go ahead and try it. But don't be fucking crawling back in my fucking DM telling me that he did some more shit by Christmas if you get back with him before Christmas.

All right. Now check back in with me. I love y'all. And just like that, we've come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. And I'll be fixing mess to the end of the year, y'all. Make sure you submit all your mess, whether you type it, give me a voice note, however you send it, send it and I will fix it. And in my deepest fan voice, peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious

seating for eight available panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights discover the 2024 nissan pathfinder at nissanusa.com intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions always monitor traffic and weather conditions towing capacity varies by configuration see nissan towing guide and owner's manual for additional information always secure cargo