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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. I'm going to be fixing mess today. We're going to jump straight in. We got a voice memo. Y'all know I love these. I love these. I love these. Real quick before we jump straight in. Listen, y'all know y'all girl got that third spot on Breakfast Club, right? It's not official.

It's not official. It was actually an unofficial offer, but it ain't official yet. But I'm claiming it and I'm speaking it into existence because you're supposed to speak of things as though they were. And I got that from the good Lord upstairs and from that good Bible. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, I need for y'all to go spam whoever comments y'all feel like y'all need to go spam. Charlamagne, fucking BET, fucking Breakfast Club, DJ Envy. Spam everybody. Y'all need to spam. I don't give a fuck. Viacom.

VH1, iHeart, spam everybody's shit. Because that's my third spot right there, okay? That's my third spot. Now we're going to get it popping. Here we go. First person. Hey, Jess. So there's a situation with this guy that...

In my delusional mind, I kind of want to get with him. But my realistic mind wants to just work with him because he is a successful up-and-coming artist. It's funny enough, he was on Wild N' Out recently. But yeah, I've been listening to him for years. And for some reason, actually, I know exactly why. I caught a crush on him because when my grandma died from cancer in January...

I was listening to his music on the road trip home and it just, it gave me all the vibes I needed. And so like, I just really started liking him. It was like, he comforted me. His music comforted me and uplifted me when I needed it the most.

And I started to see him in a new light, especially like once I started watching interviews. And I think that's when I like caught feelings or whatever. Just like if I watch your interviews, I learn more about you. If I listen to your podcast and watch your show, like I feel like I'm best friends with you in London and Prince. And I feel like I'm

I'm a coitousness with Rome because he's a little mean, but I love all of you guys. And so I'm just that type of person. So I get like, I understand the concept of a parasocial relationship when like I like someone, they don't really know me or they, they don't know me like that. And I understand boundaries. Right. But like with him, it's a little different because this artist, like he interacted with me before.

I found out that he liked to read, so I sent him my book, and he was like, thank you. And, you know, at the show, he was pointing at me, because he was... There's only white people, but it's basically at the show. And he said he's saying something about black women and pointed at me. So, like, I'm not being delusional. Like, he was actually... I was the only one he could have been pointing at, basically. So we had that moment. And then...

When I comment, sometimes he'll like, he likes a lot of comments, but like he will actually respond to mine. And he interacts with his fans in general, but you know, he made me feel really special. And so I guess my problem is I want to network with him and stay top of mind without being annoying and without being thirsty. And honestly, like I, like I said, like I have this huge crush on him and I'm like, I don't want to like,

ruin things by just falling all over myself and not knowing how to move. So I guess my question would be like, how do I build the rapport naturally without like overthinking it? And I know that you'd understand because not only are you a successful woman who is highly sought after, I'm sure you have your fair share of interactions with fans of the opposite sex, right? But

You know what it's like to deal with a guy who has clout and hoes and, like, shit to do. And you just strike me as, like, you're that bitch. Like, you know how to move in any situation. And you just have, like, this energy, you know? And it's like, I'm still building up my bad bitch energy. I'm still very much, like, you know, trying to find myself, I guess. And my confidence and my feminine power or whatever, you know?

Yeah, so Jess, please fix my mess. Thank you for your time. And I hope to hear from you soon. Oh, and so the last part of the situation too, I forgot to mention. So like...

It's like he was replying to my DMs a lot more at first. And then it's like, it kind of became like, it was like my, like I would DM him a few times or like reply to his story, like over the course of a few days. And then he would reply with like a few words or like an emoji, you know, just like, it's just been like that for the past few weeks. And I'm like falling back now. Cause I'm like, bro, I don't want to like be annoying. And I literally told him like,

listen, like music is my life and you're one of my influences and I want to connect with you and impress you. And I just felt like radical honesty was the best way to go. So I just admitted that. But I was like, yeah, I didn't mean to be annoying. So like I unsent some stuff. I'm sorry if that's weird. And then so he hasn't really said much since then. And I feel like embarrassed. Like I said, I just don't want to do too much. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to stop.

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Okay, baby girl, I just want to say thank you so much for writing me. And I did listen to your first message, but I didn't put it in here because that was so personal. That was to me. And I want to let you know, I love you too. And Prince and London and Rome, I'm sure will be happy as hell to even hear that you even spoke their names because these people, they crazy girl, they feel like don't nobody know them or remember them because we only did one season of Reckless. I said, shit, that's

touched a lot of people. You don't know, motherfucker. That's why Reckless Discussions season two is coming back. I just had to let y'all know that. Clap it up. Clap it up. Season two, Reckless Discussions is coming back, motherfucker. All right. Anyway, so let me tell you this. Also, I know you said you're still trying to find your bad bitch energy. We're going to move out of that. You know why? I don't consider myself a bad bitch because you know what? When we really

define what a bad bitch is, it's actually very harmful to the culture. And I don't want to be of that definition anymore. You know what I mean? I'm growing into who I am as well. I'm a 31 year old black goddess and I'm, I'm, I'm a very powerful woman. I am,

very motivated. I am ambitious. The amount of tenacity that I have for my longevity. You know, I know I'm going T.I. a lot. I'm going T.I. here with the words, but I mean everything I say. We're going to move out of that bad bitch energy because we don't need to do that. I'm going to say to you, you're still trying to find your goddess energy. What a goddess is, by definition, a woman who is adored, especially for her beauty and brains. That is

is equivalent to what people think a bad bitch is. That's what a bad bitch supposed to be. But the fact that the word bad and the word bitch, total opposite of everything I just said to you, of everything, uh,

a goddess really and truly is. You don't want to be that. So let's move out of that space. Let's move out of that space, beautiful black woman. Now, I know who you talking about. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know who you talking about. And yes, he is, um,

He's extremely talented. He's a newer member on Wild N Out. He's been there for like the past two or three seasons, I'm going to say two. But yes, I do know what you're talking about. And music is also his life as well. He's actually really cool with me and I'm

I like him too. He's cool. I mean, I don't like him like you like him, but I like him too. You know, he's definitely a strong influence on music and instruments. If I think, if I'm talking about the right person, I think you're talking about the Hispanic fella.

Yeah. And he plays an instrument. Or am I putting too much out there? I don't know, girl. I don't know. I don't know, girl. But yeah, he is fine or whatever. What I want you to do is stop being scared. I want you to find that confidence. Find that confidence. I guess that was that bad bitch energy you was talking about. No, find that confidence, okay? Because trust me, there's some bad bitches out here who ain't got confidence. Their confidence is shit. That's why they are bad bitches. They conform bad.

As low as they can go, they conform to the lowest vibrations to be accepted by men. And that's where you have bad bitch. No, no, you're not confident. That's why you unsent messages and all that shit. That's why you got scared when he minimized what he was saying. His responses went from, you know, lengthy to a couple of words and an emoji here and there.

that does not mean he does not like you. That does not mean that he ain't paying attention to you or he can really just look at you the way he's looking at every other woman in his DM. You know why? Because he's also a guy on the come up. So with that comes a lot of women, clout chasers, um,

Comes a lot of those bad bitches you was talking about. Uh-huh. There comes a lot of, you know, IG models and girls who just looking for either some dick, some clout, or some money, you know. And it's probably so many of them in his DM he hasn't really had time to decipher. Or he probably don't want to decipher. Because there's been a bad stigma put on DMs.

A lot of love can be found in DMs just like it can be a lot of love found in person. It can be money found in DMs like it can be a lot of money found on the streets. You know what I'm saying? DMs are not a bad thing. Look at it like this. Social media ain't nothing but a dating app. That's how motherfuckers link up. That's how motherfuckers go. You know what I'm saying? It ain't safe, but what dating app is safe? In fact, you're safer meeting a motherfucker on Instagram than you are on Christian Mingle.

Fuck, because people can disguise who they are. You understand what I'm saying? So I'm not saying that you should give up on trying to talk to him, but I think you should really know what you want first because you said you like him, but you also, business-wise, you would like to connect with him on a business level as well. You have to figure out which one is more important to you, though. Because if I were him reading your DMs,

I wouldn't know whether you liked me or whether you wanted to do business because you're very beautiful and he's handsome. You could be a person that's just trying to use business to get close to him. You got to think from both ends of the spectrum, you know, got to think from his perspective and then also from yours as well.

I don't think you should have unsent anything because now that is your nervousness, your anxiety and your pride also getting in the way because you don't want to seem thirsty. You don't want to say, girl, what the hell ever. It don't matter.

Women can be thirsty just like men. Girl, I've been thirsty a few times in my day and I'm even still thirsty right now for somebody I ain't never gonna have. But shit, it don't matter. Girl, Lorenz Tate is who I've been thirsty after ever since I was like 14 years old. But whatever, he's married and I will never ever show my thirst to this married man. That's just disrespectful as fuck. But I'm just saying, like that's somebody who I've always had a crush on and shit like that. You seem like you have a crush on this guy. And I don't doubt at all that he was talking about you.

I don't doubt at all for one second that he pointed at you and that audience. I don't think you're delusional. Stop giving me disclaimers. Stop putting out so many disclaimers. If you felt like that man was looking at you, he was fucking looking at you. If you like that nigga, jump in that goddamn DM. If he say two goddamn words back to you, you still bet not unsend shit.

Let him know, look, I like you. And then if it ever comes to a point where he ain't showing you, you move on to the goddamn next. It's okay for you to like somebody and them not like you back the way that you like them. That's the world. That's not rejection. That's literally life. It's life. And it's okay. It's okay. It's okay for you to be pressed. It's okay for you to be, I'm talking to a guy right now, right?

And he told me something that was so cute. I'd never heard a man say this shit ever. He had called me, blew my fucking phone up. And I couldn't answer because I was doing something. So when I finally called him back, I said, damn, your pressed ass called me four times in a row. He said, yeah. So what I'm pressed. You damn right I'm pressed. I'm pressed because I'm going to make you mine. If I ain't pressed, I'm going to fuck around and lose you.

I like that. If I ain't pressed, I'm going to fuck around and lose my spot. I'm like, damn, that shit made my goddamn vagina so moist. I was like, oh my God. Like, really? Like, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm so sick of these stigmas and these prideful ass people acting like they can't express how they really fucking feel. He said, shit, I guess you can call me. I'm going to be a press nigga.

Because I want you, girl, and now stop playing with me. What you was doing. I like that shit. No, that's not toxic. That's really a man letting me know how the fuck he feel. And he don't give a fuck what nobody else feel. He likes me. He wants me. Now, I don't know if this is the guy for me or whatever, but I know I like that. That's different. Nobody has ever said that to me before. Nobody has ever said,

You know what I mean? And it's something so simple. No, he didn't buy me no bag. He didn't say, oh girl, yeah, let me take you out to dinner and all that. I mean, he already done did that, but it's like the small things.

That matters, you know, because he's not trying to fit in with with society and what is accepted and what is not accepted, you know, what is frowned upon or what what what the other niggas ain't going like or what niggas don't usually do and all of that. That's why it ain't no real relationships. It's hardly any real relationships that we see because everybody got.

pride and everybody ain't pressed and everybody don't you know and I ain't trying to look like no clown and I ain't trying to that's the men talking I ain't trying no clown chasing no bitch and I know the only thing I chase is money and I and and then women I don't need a nigga for shit and I don't want cut it the fuck out cut it the fuck out everybody wants to be loved everybody

I don't care what nobody say. Everybody wants that person. I don't give a fuck. Everybody. But my advice to you is just that. Don't unsend no messages. Resend that guy that goddamn message. Let him know you like him because he probably didn't even fucking see it. And then also imagine how many goddamn DMs he getting and he just getting tired of looking at him. So, but he don't want to be rude. So he responds and he probably responds just like

you know, just so he won't leave nobody on scene or read, just, you know, out of generosity. But I think a closed mouth don't get fed. And even sometimes...

Even if you do get rejected, say you hit him up and you be honest with him. He just say, I'm not really looking for anything right now. Or he may have a fucking girlfriend or the nigga may be gay. Girl, you up, you all in your head, psyching yourself out. You don't even know. You don't even know. Or he might just like you. He might start talking to you. You never know. But don't be scared because I'd rather say I tried and failed than to say I was too scared to try at all. Boom.

I love you. Check back in with me, girl. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in a spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your gateway to larger-than-life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof, everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available towing capacity of up

to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains. Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more.

Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

The fall is creeping up on us, but we don't have to give in just yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.

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Hey, Jess, I do not need you to fix my mess because I don't have one. My life is amazing. But I just wanted to drop this for you and all the beautiful young women that I hear talking on your show that you, you know, you want a health that you have advice for. I'm 52 and I didn't get all the way up to this big age without picking up a few things. And life and love is not meant to be a struggle.

We have glamorized this sense of struggle love where you forgive him and take him back from cheating and take him back from the outside babies. And all of this, be engaged for five years. Why he won't marry me? Then you win and you get him and you have to keep fighting and keep doing. And no, that's not what real love is.

And you don't have to do that. When a man wants you, he wants you. And you don't have to lower yourself to like just be competing all the time for him. So basically what I'm saying is we have this thing about where relationships are work. Yes.

but they're not the hardest work ever. They're not like working in a coal mine where you get all dirty and you might die of black lung disease. It's like working out where it's good for you and it makes you stronger. It makes you a better person. That's the type of work that real relationships, real love should be. So I just want to encourage you young women, don't settle for anything. Don't just settle for the mess. And I'm

I don't mean like having these high ass, ridiculous ass standards about how much money he's got to make, what kind of mansion, what kind of Maybach and all this stuff. No standards about what kind of quality man you want. Loves God, loves his mom, takes care of his kids, has a sense of purpose, wants to be a good man, a father, a husband. That's what you want. Okay.

And I'm giving you this because I wish somebody had given it to me and I hadn't wasted so much time. But if you are wondering if a man cares about you, he doesn't.

Any man that cares about you, lets you know, and it is obvious to you and the world, there are no mixed messages. The message is he don't like you like that. So like Maya Angelou often quoted, when people show you who they are, believe them. Stop wasting your time trying to make people better than they even want to be. I love you, young ladies. God bless you, and may you find your happy.

Oh, and I meant to say this. I don't mind telling you I'm 52 because I don't look it. So, uh. Also, I just got married last year. I got my degree in 2010 when I was 39 going on 40.

And at the end of this year, I will be going back for a master's in data analytics. And also as of Saturday, I just crossed Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated through my local alumni chapter. And I'm saying all that to say this as well.

Stop setting timelines and acting like 30, 35, 40 is the end of your life. As long as you have breath in your body, you can keep going and accomplish whatever you want. So sisters, never give up, ever. You can be, have, and do whatever. You see it for yourself, it will be for yourself. Love you.

Oh my God, I love you too, Miss Woman. Listen, now I hope all of y'all were listening to that because look, I was and I am speechless and that brings me to the end of this

Oh my God, that was amazing. Look, she said, I ain't got no mess, baby. I'm 52 and I ain't get 52 without picking a couple of things up and I'm going to let y'all know what I picked up and then you can, I'm going to drop it right here. You can pick it up if you want to, you can step over it, but somebody else going to pick it up that need it. And like she said, she wished that somebody would have dropped these jewels and told her, if you are wondering, if you have to wonder, if you're wondering whether or not a man cares about you, he don't.

Because why are you wondering? They're going to show. They're going to tell you. They're going to prove it. It's in their actions. It's in their words. It's in their mannerisms. It's in the movements that they make. It's in their head nods. It's in them kisses that he give you. It's in that hug. It's in that dick you ride. It's in everything.

Everything from the flowers he gets you to the way he opened your door to that good morning text to the good night one. All of that. You should get and deserve all that. You should. And vice versa. Men, if you got to wonder if a woman really, really love you or not, she don't.

She don't. Move on. Because there's somebody else that will. And I love y'all so much. Y'all beautiful people. Y'all beautiful black women and men. Y'all beautiful white women and men. And y'all beautiful others. I mean, because there's so many others. You know what? I'm going to take that back. Because I don't need the Chinese motherfuckers coming out. Yes, you did not say you didn't say you love us on the air. Okay, I love y'all too. The Spanish motherfuckers. Why you didn't say you love us? Or you know the Italian motherfuckers. I don't know.

I'm sorry. I love all of y'all asses. All right. And just like that, we done. And I see y'all next week. Hey. Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

The fall season. We don't have to let it happen yet. Because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.

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