The Best Of: Carefully Reckless (Part 3)
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The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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Peace to the planet. Charlemagne the God here. And as we come closer to closing out this year, I just want to say thank you for tuning in to the Black Effect Podcast Network. There have been so many great moments over the past year. Take a listen to some of those captivating moments in this special best of episode.

Hey, Jess, I need some on a relationship advice, as in how do you get rid of someone who just won't let a relationship go? I'm completely over the father of my children. We've been together almost 10 years and I was completely in love with that man and thought he was my best friend and soulmate. It must have been the sex because I was completely digmatized.

He played me damn near the entire relationship, but I didn't find out until two years ago and it's been a complete mess. I suspected him cheating and things fell off, but I never had proof or he made it seem like I was crazy.

Two years ago, I was eight months pregnant and engaged to him. I picked up his pants and his phone fell out of his pocket, unlocked. It's like God was basically telling me to see the truth. What was in the phone was way more than I ever expected. And he was complete slut.

Even fucking around with women I knew and sending them money as gifts while not helping with the household. Damn. To make it worse, he messed with women at the apartment complex we've lived at. Even our most recent place. I'm so over his lies and bullshit. Last year, I was ready to get my own place, but he guilt tripped me and said it was best for the kids to stay together another year.

Well, this year has been hell. He's so toxic and still has drama with females coming to my door, tells me I'm making things up. I can't deal with this. So recently, I got my own place without him knowing. The lease is almost up and I'm doing everything in my power to jumpstart this man into finding a place to live or even rehome him to another bitch for all I care. But he refuses to accept it and still makes it seem like we are going to be together. His family refuses to help and

and even encourages him to stay with me. I don't even know what to do to get rid of this man because he literally needs me for everything, housing and transportation. Yes, he works but rarely helps with household bills. I don't want the father of my kids on the street and he still needs to watch the kids while I work. But I also don't want him laid up in my new apartment thinking he can stay there. We don't have family that can help with the kids so it's just us taking care of them. So we are basically stuck with each other.

Any advice on rehoming my baby daddy? And so don't fill in the blanks. They are not having sex at all. And there's no chance of ever getting back together. This big was everything, y'all. Listen, I have everything. Before I jump into our story, I got an everything bagel for the first time. So it's going to have my breath like real oniony. But the cream cheese and it's toasted with extra butter. Baby, thank you. That's all I got to say now.

I do not like calling my beautiful black woman clowns, but baby, I'd be lying if I said you wasn't one. You are a clown, and sometimes we have to tell each other this so we can pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and try again. Why are you worried about a man who don't give a damn about your feelings at the end of the day?

being put out on the damn street, oh, because he's the father of my children, he didn't give a fuck that you was the mother of his kids when he was cheating on your ass for the past 10 years, which you just found out about two years ago, all because his phone slipped out the pocket and you washing his clothes, what, I believe if he ain't putting his hands on you, if he ain't got no guns to your head, if he is not holding your children hostage, if he ain't doing none of this, girl, you can leave his ass, let him be on the fucking streets,

Now, listen, what he may do is go be with somebody else for the convenience of it because he seems to like being taken care of. And his family raised him wrong. Don't give a fuck what nobody say. They raised him wrong because they still encouraging his cheating ass to be with you. That's because you're taking care of him. You're not responsible for your children's father. You're responsible for the children just like he is. Leave his ass. Talk about, oh.

And don't, it's no fill in the blanks. We're not sleeping together. We're not, what happens when you want to date? The fuck? Because I know he's still dating.

He just probably ain't bringing the bitches around you. And also, if you're able to take care of him, then you should be able to take care of getting a babysitter for your kids while you got to do anything. Look, I don't care. I do not care. I see moms do it all the time without their families, without friend groups, without support groups, all that. Like, we do it. Women, we do it all. No discredit to men because every man out there not like that. And we have a lot of hardworking dads. But women, come on now. We do this shit.

You feel sorry for him, you still have a soft spot for him. That's crazy. He didn't have not one fucking soft spot for you. You can't seem to shake him. You can't, girl, like I said, unless he beating your ass up and down the house or, like I said, holding you hostage, gun to your head, all that, you can walk the fuck out of his life. Period. Get a restraining order. Oh, but then he can't see the kids. He wasn't worrying about that when he was with Denise, Vanessa, and Rudy, and Claire. Yeah.

He wasn't thinking about none of that. Girl, no, I think you have lost your everlasting mind. And I'm sorry for all my aggression, but sweetie, you can do better. And sometimes a lot of us women need to be told that by other women who are completely unbiased. Like, I'm not your friend. I don't know. You never saw you a day in my life. You know what I'm saying? So...

I don't know you. This is just like anonymous. You know, I'm hearing a story and I'm telling another woman what she could do, what she should do. You know what I'm saying? You still love him. I know you do. You know, I'm not saying that you are attracted to him or you don't. You know what I'm saying? Because, all right, take into account me and my son's father.

We are way past intimacy. We're not, you know, attracted to each other anymore. I haven't dated Rome since before our baby turned one year old. Like that's just how that is, you know, and I often say that we're like brother and sister. So I would give Rome the shirt off my back. Yes, I will. But I would not give him a place to stay in my house because I am in a relationship. I'm moving forward. That's just that's a no, no. There are still boundaries. That's why I'm telling you this. There are still boundaries that has to be set.

And have to be put between you and your baby daddy. What's wrong with him getting a fucking job if he ain't got no record? Well, even niggas with records, fuck a record. Even men with records are able to get jobs. He got to start from somewhere. You cannot carry him as one of your kids. That's just not what it is. That's not what it's supposed to be. You know, AT&T believes that a voice can change everything. And if you're a podcast junkie like me, you get it. The power of hearing someone speak is unmatchable.

It's why we save those voicemails from our loved ones. They mean something, you know?

For me, when I need a one-on-one holiday boost, I know who to call. Aja. Her voice always feels like home. And when I need to get hype for something big, it's my best friend Mel. His voice gives me the lift I didn't know I needed. AT&T knows the holidays are the perfect time to do just that. Share your voice. If it's been a while since you called someone who matters, now's the time. Because it's more than just a conversation.

It's a chance to say something they're here forever. So spread a little love with a call this season. Happy holidays from AT&T. Connecting changes everything. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

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Drive the all-new Reimagine Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can't prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information. Hey, fam. If you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just started in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling.

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Find out more at stateforum.com. This Christmas. So you're her, right? You're the boxer? Experience the incredible true story. As long as I'm boxing, I'm going to be okay. Of Claressa Shields. My baby, go into the...

Let's go! Critics are calling The Fire Inside an inspirational knockout crowd pleaser. If I'm gonna train for this gold medal, I'm gonna eat exactly what the man get. It's a monumental achievement. I've been working my whole life for this. The Fire Inside. Based on the incredible true story. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters everywhere Christmas Day.

Hey Jess, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but I'm very much attracted to my sister-in-law. Wait a minute. What the hell is going on? I can't even believe I'm saying this. I can't believe you feel that way. What the fuck? All right, go ahead. Me and my fiance have been together for almost 60 years now. I'm 30 years old and my fiance is 31. Don't get me wrong. I love my girl and I want to be with her. I don't know where these feelings from my sister-in-law came from, but here we are. My

My sister-in-law has always been around and me and her are real close because we bonded over smoking. Even showed her how to roll her first blunt. She ended up moving to Virginia last year because her husband is in the military and got stationed out there. She came back here to Arizona after being gone for about seven months. She started for like two months and I didn't even I didn't get the feelings until like two days before she was about to leave.

I always thought she looked good, but never looked at her in the way I do now. We have been texting every day since she has left and went back to Virginia. Nothing crazy, just TikTok videos and talk about random shit. I would never tell her how I feel because I don't want her sister, my fiance, to find out and wouldn't want to mess up.

our close relationship either. Well, if your goddamn wife lives in the Catholic records, baby, you'll be divorced by tomorrow. I don't know what to do. You ever just think sometimes you ended up with the wrong sister? Oh, yeah.

Oh my God. The sister-in-law is ambitious, sexy, and a hustler. My fiance, on the other hand, isn't too ambitious. I think that's the reason I'm so attracted to my sister-in-law. Help me out. Give me some advice on what I should do here. Oh my God. What is the matter with you? You already married to the sister. See?

Not married yet? Listen to you. They ain't married yet, girl. We're still hoping. Oh, gosh. Okay. Now, I'm not even going to lie and act like I've never been in this situation, but not the same. Not...

Mess with the wrong brother. No. But the friend. Like, you know how you be like, damn, I done messed with the wrong friend. Because you jumping out there early and shit. You see this nigga driving. He cute. He got his head on straight. Then you see another nigga who got his head on a little straighter. You be like, uh-uh. This your own boy? Damn, I made a choice too quick. All right. So...

I've been in that situation before. However, I did not act on it. But this is even worse because these are siblings, bookie. The fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? Your fiance is going to be mighty pissed with you. Now, you said you didn't want to tell the sister how you feel. Do you think the sister feels the same about you? That's something that you didn't let me know. And then I'm bonding over smoking, baby.

I even saw the how to roll a first blunt. What the hell is? Yo, that is crazy. That is so crazy to me. It's a little childish, you know, y'all bonding over being high and shit. That's crazy. But you said there are certain things that you do like about her, her ambition and so on and so forth.

Are you insinuating that your fiance does not have ambition? She does not have like goals and, you know, potential success. Is that what she lacks? Because I'm trying to figure out how you are more into her sister. And you said at first you wasn't, you know, did the weed do all that? Like make you attract her two days before she left? And then honestly, no.

I don't think it's just innocent TikToks and random shit that y'all are speaking about if you feel this strongly about her. And if you're writing me about her, it has to. What you think, Taylor? I feel like it's definitely more. Don't get too happy. Just answer. And that's it. I think the sister likes him, too, because why are you talking to my fiancé? Like, y'all too close to talking. Yeah. Yeah. Do you believe they did anything?

I don't know. Yeah. I wouldn't just jump ahead and say like, yeah, they've had sex, but I do believe that they've probably had conversations about it lightly or they have mentioned sex

oh, if I could be with you, this will happen. If you weren't dating my sister or I wish things were different. Those type of situations, as innocent as they could probably get it without crossing that line of physical intimacy or whatever. But what was the question again? How do I go about it or what the hell? What does he do? What does he do? Hmm.

Well, their whole family knows you. So say if you do act like you in the movie because they do the shit in the movies, they'll leave what he wouldn't and go with who their heart lies with. The family gonna hate your ass forever because if this is your fiance, the sister, you've met her family already.

and they'll hate the sister, and they'll hate you. They're going to be looking at y'all for the rest of y'all lives like, these clown assholes. You know what I'm saying? They're going to look at y'all real crazy. And then think about the heartbreak that the sister would feel, that your future wife would feel, and you so much don't want her to find out. This is a big secret that you will be keeping from her.

I have no idea how this will play out for you, but I do think both of your asses need to be put on blast. And I'm sorry, you are very wrong. And you should go about it by first sitting down with your fiance, telling your fiance how you feel. I know you're probably listening to this shit like, bitch, I would never go sit down with my, but I think you should because this feeling is not going to go away.

and then you like I saw the sister and then you talk to the sister like well I told her so we're SOL and for some reason I don't know if the sister will be with him though I just think it's or the sister-in-law could be trapping the fiance like see I told you he ain't shit nigga if they playing little games like that my baby I'm hungry I'm pregnant the baby if they playing little games like that bitch

I ain't gonna lie. I would do that too. I ain't gonna lie. Uh-uh. My sister, I would cry later on thinking everything. She'll be like, I got you. But that's petty. No, if they really doing that, that's all petty. That's shit that I did in my early 20s, late teens. Like, no.

We're not doing it. This is somebody's life. Y'all plan on walking down the aisle. Be real with your wife. Therapy can get you through any and everything. Time heals all wounds. I don't know about this one, but buddy, you got to be honest with the one that you're walking down the aisle with. Because when y'all exchange those vows, y'all are best friends. You're making a commitment. Like you got to be honest. And sometimes honesty definitely pierces like it hurts.

But time heals all wounds. And I think that she would respect your honesty. She'd probably want to beat the hell out of her sister and push back the wedding, if not break up with your ass. But at least you got your truth out. Because if you don't tell her, I'm going to tell her. So we got his name. His name is Jeremy. Jeremy. No, Jeremy. Taylor. Jeremy, like I said.

I will find your wife, your fiance, and tell her if you don't tell, I'm giving you two weeks. Get back with me. Update me. Love you. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

The world is constantly changing. It's up to you to decide how to respond. Choose to be bold, to try something new. Choose to reinvent yourself. That's what Nissan did with the all-new Total Reimagined Kicks. The dynamic new exterior styling immediately announces that Nissan isn't messing around.

The interior, a completely redesigned cabin with premium features like wireless, Apple CarPlay, and panoramic moonroof make driving at Kicks immersive and exciting. And with new performance and safety features like intelligent all-wheel drive, the Kicks is both more fun and safer to drive than ever before. It is the dawning of a brand new era for the Nissan Kicks. Only one question remains, is it a new era for you as well?

Drive the all-new reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can't prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information. Hey, fam. If you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just started in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling.

Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long-term success. They've been a steady presence in our communities, and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference.

State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

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I am a 17-year-old woman who lives in Nigeria. I was born in the U.S., but I am from Congo and have spent most of my life living in Africa. I'm in serious need of your help. Oh, wait a minute. Is this about some money? Because I don't... Oh, well, okay.

girl, will you start off like that? And they'd be like, I'm in serious need of your help. It's like, oh, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay. My dad is cheating on my mom who is currently in North America trying to find a job so we can finance me going to university. Okay. This is not the first time my father has been unfaithful. Once my mom packed her bags and threatened to leave, he begged her on his dusty ass knees not to go.

I know that's right. I had to carry her 30-pound suitcases up the stairs when she decided to stay, and I was only 12. Okay. The same thing happened about two years later, but this time she went back to Cameroon, threatened to divorce him, but was magically cooking his favorite meal in the kitchen two months later.

Oh, I see where we're going. Okay. My dad's infidelity has been a consistent issue in their marriage, and I know my mom will not leave him. He's a good father most of the time, and I could care less if they are together or not, because I honestly think they're better parents when they are apart. About two years ago, when we were moving to a new city in Nigeria, we lived alone with my dad. I had to do all the motherly duties, which I am used to, modern slavery type things,

Girl. Okay. Okay, baby. He was cheating then, too. I found condoms in the trash can, and he was coming late every night. I decided to mind my own business, as I had my own shit to deal with, and honestly, I was hoping my mother was doing her thing as well. This time is different, as I am too soon to leave the house, and I can't have my brother having to pick up after my sloppy, horny father. Oh, jeez.

I'm sorry. I do not mean to laugh. I'm just trying to figure out what is the problem. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, okay. Because it seems like more of a venting session, but I got you, baby. I'm going to keep on because it's about four more paragraphs. All right. He is so disrespectful and does not even have the decency to cover his tracks. He bought cheap-ass condoms when we went grocery shopping and thought he was slick, making me go get salad while he quickly paid for it. We are a carnivorous family.

Yeah. Okay, girl. So do everybody else. Y'all don't have to, you don't have to say we are a carnivorous family. Oh, let me finish. Okay. Nobody in this bitch eats salads. Oh, girl. I'm like, all right, but you didn't have to say we're not, we are a carnivorous family. Like girl. Okay. So technical. I know she's going to college. Okay. Nobody in this bitch eats salads.

Later that night, he gave me the receipts to throw away and I saw condoms written at the top of the receipt. His first chaps were his priority before our school snacks. He has come home twice with dirty cheats.

that have wet spots on them dirty drawers you mean that have wet spots on them and and he asked me to put them in the washing machine so it can be ready for the next bitch STDs still exist they certainly do I am not an idiot I am not one of the boys so I don't know why he thinks it's okay to be so oblivious with his adultery I don't want to tell my mom as she won't leave him and

And she is just going to be stressed out on the other side of the world. Oh, right. Because your mom is in North America and your dad is somewhere else. Okay. This is none of my business. So what the fuck is you telling me for?

But I am already stressed out with school and teenager shit. So him adding this to my plate is revolting. I already think men are trash and he is just reinforcing that narrative for me. If I don't tell my mom, I also fear bad karma might come to me. But I also feel as though telling her is selfish of me as it would just relieve my guilt. Hmm.

I need help. My friends ain't shit. Respectfully. Damn. And I go to a predominantly white school. So I could barely afford my scholarship. The counselors and teachers there are no use.

girl, you did a good job of making your life sound like the most shittiest of all shit lives in the world, honey. Like, let me tell you something. I'm not going to say we all have a cheating father because, you know, I don't know about everybody, but yes, I...

had a cheating father. And the reason why I say had is because he's not a cheater anymore. My mom ended up getting the strength to leave after just, you know, after many, many, many affairs or whatever. But like, your mom will get the strength to leave. I do understand. I thought the same thing about my mom at first. You know, my mother gonna listen to this like, bitch, first of all, don't try, you know. But...

Yeah, I think that, you know, every woman has a breaking point. And who's to say that your mom is not doing her, you know, but still in love with your father? You know what I'm saying? Who's to say that your dad is not in love with his wife, but he's still doing him? You know what I'm saying? And who's to say that this is not, this comes from, this is deeply rooted. You get what I'm saying? Like, this is like generational. Although men...

at a certain age, man, you should know what's right from wrong, you got a woman that's down for you, you got a wife, you cannot cheat on her, that's just how some men are wired, you get what I'm saying, as far as you complaining about all the things you had to do for your mom, I get it, I get it, but you're a child, just like she a mother, you get what I'm saying, you're talking about carrying 30 pound bags up to the, listen, let me tell you something right now, my son is 12 years old,

I ain't lifting shit around that little boy you understand yeah so he's gonna carry 30 40 50 pound bags for me too I get it I understand but I'm gonna let you know you do sound like a brat a little bit you know I mean because they still trying to figure out how they can pay for you to get to school to get through school I get it your friends ain't shit get rid of them make some new ones you understand what I'm saying everything you told me is solvable

everything you told me is solvable. It just seems like the only real, real, real issue, and I'm not discrediting you for anything that you're going through, but the real issue is that you really, really have a hurting bone from your dad.

Like, and I think that that should result to therapy. Whenever you ready. I know you probably like hell no. Cause you fed up with him. You only got one mom. He cheating on her, been cheating on her. She ain't strong enough to leave. What have you, whatever. You know what I'm saying? I understand. But you can clearly learn not to be that woman.

from your mom but we don't know what all she dealing with either do you talk to your mom do you see what else she going through all this moving back and forth and shit trying to be a mom trying to uh provide still trying to be a wife at the end of the day you said she was cooking his favorite meal two months after catching him cheating trust me I get all of that shit I've seen it myself so I get it I get it figure out how to get a job as well

Like, you know what I'm saying? You got you got teenage shit going on. Go get yourself a job.

You know what I mean? Because at some point, if we see we can't rely on our parents, we got to make it happen for ourselves. We can't sit and sulk in misery. You understand what I'm saying? So fuck all that teenage shit. I understand. I understand. But if you got people that ain't shit, drop them. You still young. You got a lot of life to live. Go get you a job. Help your parents put you through school. Help your mother put you through school. I guarantee you, you won't regret it because this is your future. It ain't theirs. It's yours.

you know, sometimes as kids, we feel very entitled, you know, and, and we always say things that we, you know, we, we always feel that our parents should be doing this or should be doing that. And no, it's my parents' job. All right. If they ain't doing it, who going to do it? You. So get yourself together. You understand what I'm saying? Figure out exactly what you need to do to mend that relationship with your father. You know what I mean? Um, and

And it has to be a two player game. It can't be just you. It don't even seem like it's going to be just you. You know what I'm saying? Now, I will say him putting you through shit like giving you a receipt where you did see that condoms were on there or him making you go buy a salad, even though y'all be eating meat and shit. You know what I mean? Just so you wouldn't see him buy the condoms.

the condoms and shit, or him making you wash his dirty drawers and shit, and all of that type of shit, these are the things that you can bring up to him, you get what I'm saying, you got to bring this type of shit up, whether you do it in a therapy session, whether you do it in a conversation with just you and your dad, or whatever, you know, but I just want, I need y'all to get past that hump one day in your life, because just like you get one mom, you got one dad.

Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. See you in 2025 for more great moments from your favorite podcast.

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