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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Nice little ass back there. Nice little ass back there.
And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to another episode of Carefully Reckless with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Now listen, this episode is kind of about me, but I'm pretty sure that y'all can relate to it as well, right? Everybody who's a mother or who's a father can. So grab your tea, grab your halls, because it's story time.
Okay, so look, I was dating this guy. And listen, I know every story that I tell y'all about me probably starts like that. But bitch, whatever. When you date a lot of guys, you got a lot of stories. So listen, he was successful in his own right. And you know, y'all know who I am. Cool. He had a child. I have a child. After dating for about two or three months, I let him meet Ash. Yes, he met Ash. Now,
Fast forward, we were dating for about five, six months. I never got to see his kid at all. I mean, like he wouldn't even bring the little boy up. I would have to ask about him. Like, how's your son? Is he still alive? What does he do? What does he like? Does he look like you? Who does he look like? Shit, I don't know anything about this little boy except for that you have a son.
It was a weekend. Ashton's dad usually gets him on the weekends. Something happened. I kept them home. But that was usually when me and the guy would hang out during the weekends because I would be gone during the week all the time. Called the guy, look, got my kid. I'm not going to be able to hang out this weekend. I got my son. So we're going to do some kid shit. He said, OK, cool, cool, cool. Can I come along? I said, OK, cool. We're going to Urban Air. All right, fine. Cool. I'm waiting for this nigga to be like,
I'm gonna bring my son to, you know what I'm saying? We five and a half months in almost six. I'm like, okay, cool. You know, I ain't gonna bite the little nigga. You feel me? Cool. Bring him around. He never said it, never said anything about it. So when we hung up, I text him. I said, uh, would it be too much for you to bring your son just so Ashton can have some company? You know, while we're all there, the nigga texts back. Nah, he be with his moms on a weekend.
nigga he with his mom all week and the weekend when do you ever have this kid like when do you ever ever in your life like what's going on with this later I found out after we stopped talking because he did something else that made me unattractive to him so whatever later on we became friends because you know I don't hold grudges with niggas I don't fuck with no more whatever you know if you cool you cool you were probably meant to be my homeboy and not my lover so that's fine he
He tells me while we at lunch one day, "Oh nah, my baby mother didn't want me to bring my son around you. And as long as I was messing with you, she didn't let me see him. That's why you never saw me with him." - Oh no!
Now, when he said that a couple of red flags, you know, shot up for me, that's all I need is one time for a motherfucking red flag. And it was a couple of them. OK, the first red flag was she may not be over you. She must not be or she cannot be over you if she does not want your child.
even to see me, to meet me, to be around me. If y'all ain't been together in three years, you got to be dicking shorty down still to this day, to this day for her to be saying, oh no, she can't come around my child. The child is five. You're telling me y'all haven't been together since two. You haven't been sexually attracted to her since the baby was two years old.
old y'all haven't even laid in the same bed or felt the same about one another since the baby was two years old then that's a fucking lie to me you ain't gonna tell me nothing I don't give a fuck I don't care the second red flag that went up you as a man
chose this unofficial relationship with me over seeing and being able to build a bond with your child. That says a lot about you as a man, sir. I'm just being honest with you in this very moment. Like I told him, yo, you really put five months on a shelf with your son for five months with me.
That says a lot about you as a man. I actually have way less respect for you unless it was something else. You understand what I'm saying? Unless he was still seeing his child just when he wasn't seeing me. I told you I was gone during the week. So that's the third red flag. Unless you were lying. You mean to tell me you ain't been able to see your son in five months?
because you was fucking with me because you was dealing with me because we were unofficial and when I say unofficial I'm heavy on the un you feel me like seriously capital you in official that means you was still going over there fucking and sucking her during the week you know maybe still putting in her head that you were gonna come back so y'all can be a family you just working on you and and you you you trying to fix yourself and you know feeding her all this bullshit and
That further complicates the relationship that me and you have, because now I'm looking at you like, damn, are you even a father? Did you lie about your son? And then it also further complicates the co-parenting situation because now you can't even raise your child with her like you want to or like you should be able to.
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So that was story time. Hold that for me. Now let's switch over to carefully reckless discussions. Does your co-parenting situation put a strain on your current relationship or current relations? For me, I think it depends on how serious the relationship is, how serious the relations are. Because you could be dating someone, but you, you know, as a man and a woman, you kind of could picture where it can go within like the first month.
You know, some people need two months. Some people even need three to get that clarity, to get to know that person, to get to see what type of road they going down. You know what I'm saying? But when you do get the clarity, you can kind of see where it's going. So then later, you know, kids and shit come into play.
But it depends on how serious. Now, if you're talking to somebody that you see yourself with and y'all haven't really put a bow on it yet, meaning make it official, but you know that this woman is going to have to meet your kids or you know this guy is going to have to meet your child or children or what have you, then you let that happen.
Sometimes, depending on who the other parent is, there needs to be a conversation in place because a lot of baby moms can't handle their children being around other women, especially when it's like a cycle. And that's vice versa. Let me explain. So my son's father, little baby father, y'all know Rome. When we first broke up officially, when Ashton was like one year old.
Rome didn't jump into another relationship. No, he did not. I did. That was the only person that I fell in love with in my whole life. Like Andre was the only person that I was in love with. So I introduced him to my child a couple months after us. No, no. A couple weeks after us dating. Yes. I'm sorry. I ain't no liar now. I'm not bad. I said months. It was weeks. You know, Rome, on the other hand, he was.
Not trying to be committed to anybody. He was still getting over me. He just knew he didn't want to be a one woman's man. He knew he couldn't do it, but he wasn't over me. So you know what happens when you get a bunch of rebound bitches that take your mind off of the one you really want or you wish you could really have. So it was one week it was this bitch. Then the next week it was that bitch. And then the next week after that it was this girl. And then the next...
And Rome had my son around all of them. Why? Because it's good and bad. He would always have his son for one. Rome always had Ashton all the time. I worked. Rome was self-employed, but if you know what I'm saying, but you know, he still had my son all the time. He was a student. He was going to college, had my son in the damn school with him everywhere. So it was good because he was just a committed full-time father.
It was bad because my son had to grow up around all these women who kissing on him and taking pictures with him and posting them and all this shit. And everybody think, oh, I got, oh, I met his baby. So I know he, he really going, he really going to stay with me. Nah, bitch. Nah, nah, nah. Keisha had the baby first.
A week ago, Takiyah had the baby the week before that. You know what I'm saying? Ray Nisha going to have the baby next week. Bitch, this is just your week with the baby. So the baby is a rental at this point. You feel me? Like everybody get their hands on him for a week. That's it. That was the bad part about it. Now back to my relationship with Andre after Rome.
My co-parenting situation definitely put a strain on my relationship because Rome wasn't over me. So Rome didn't want me to have anybody else around his son.
And he made it such a big fucking deal that this one dude, this one man was around his son. But I couldn't make no type of fuss about nothing. And I didn't. Why? Because I didn't fucking care. I didn't care if he was around Ray Neum on Monday, if he was around Precious on Tuesday, if he was around Penelope on Wednesday. I didn't care about that. Why? Because my feelings were already expired.
For Rome. I was fed up when I was with him because all I was doing was being cheated on while I was pregnant up until I had the baby up until the same day we broke up. He ended up going out with a bitch that night. So I was done. I had mentally checked out a
minute ago, like a while before this, but I was trying to make it work for my baby. I've always wanted a family like the one I grew up in. Two parents who had two children. We grew up in a house together. We were fine. Never even knew that my mother and my father were having complications when I was younger because they knew how to hide their shit. They didn't put their shit on social media. They didn't tell everybody in the neighborhood. They didn't go on TV. They didn't
call Ayanla. We didn't call Dr. Phil. They handled their problems together. So they raised us together. Does it put a strain on your current relations, your co-parenting situation? It can in many different instances. If you have a bitter baby mother, yes. If you got a bitter baby daddy, yes. It really does happen because a lot of people can't let go of feelings and really pay attention to what the child needs.
It's about the child. When you say co-parents, parents, it's a child involved. There are children involved or else it would be no parent at all.
Now, do you feel it's necessary to raise a child in the same house? Now, listen, it's two answers to that. A lot of people feel different ways, you know, back to how I was feeling. I was willing to be miserable and unhappy with Ashton's dad just to raise Ash in the same house. And then I kicked myself in the ass and woke up like, oh,
Fuck no. Uh-uh. I can't do this. I gotta do this for me, myself. I gotta think about my sanity, my mental stress, my uh-uh. I gotta get the fuck out of here. I gotta break this off with this nigga. As bad as I wanted Ashton to have that family dynamic,
My baby was one. He ain't gonna remember shit. I left his ass. But a lot of people feel that way. And a lot of people have done that. Years on years and years for years you'll be miserable. In the same house with somebody you got kids with. Only because you want the kids to see y'all grow up together. It's not a good thing though. It's not a good thing. Because if you are miserable and if you are unhappy, it will start to show. Even in your performance as a parent. I'm talking about toxicity at its best.
Sometimes it may hinder a child for you to stay and raise them in the same house, knowing that you and the other parent are not good for each other. Y'all can come to blows. Y'all can mentally abuse each other. Y'all can verbally abuse each other. And then the child got to be raised, got to grow up in that household where his parents were bickering. Her parents were bickering. Their parents were bickering their whole fucking life.
It can hinder a child. If you raise a child in the midst of negativity and dysfunction, that is what your child will absorb and be fucked up. Then there's counseling and therapy that you got to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to, you know, some works and some doesn't. Well, you can just prevent that shit and think of yourself. Now, I'm not saying be selfish, you know, but think more about the child.
Think about the long term of it. You may think, oh, I want my child to grow up like I did. I had both of my parents. I really did. Fine. But that doesn't mean that something is going to end up being wrong with your child if you choose yourself. Because listen, if you separate yourselves, the baby can have two healthy environments. Sometimes you need that breakaway to live apart.
To feel free and to be happy again, to be jolly, to be in a positive state of mind. I'm telling you, the aura is better. The environment is better. The air is clear. If a baby got two places like that, they can go mommy house and daddy house. I promise you that baby will be just fine. And that's that.
Now, is it easy co-parenting when you aren't together? Like if you're not in a relationship with the mother or the father, is it easy? In my opinion, I feel if the only goal is to raise the child the right way and not focus on each other, then yes. Me and my child's father, for example.
That's like my homie. That's my nigga right there. You know, that's my mans for sure. I'm not attracted to him in any type of way. You know what I'm saying? No, that does not mean he's ugly. Baby father ain't ugly by a long shot. You know what I'm saying? He might be balding in the corners, you know, but that's one thing he ain't, he ain't never been is ugly, but I'm saying I'm not attracted to him. There will never be another relationship that comes out of me and Jerome, but we are,
Tight knit. We're very close. And a lot of times I joke in my videos and I say, you know, we're like brother and sister. No, for real. We fight like brother and sister. Then we back cool like brother and sister. Shit like that. You know what I'm saying? Or like two best friends, regular friends. Like, you know, we're cool as fuck. He calls me for advice about women. You know, about the women he's dealing with in his life. I don't call him about the niggas I'm dealing with in my life. You know, Rome is very...
Rome is very childish, so I can't call him like that. He be like, well, first of all, the nigga probably ain't got no car. Nigga probably don't look like me. Nigga probably... Like, you know, like, Rome is that type of nigga. Like, you know what I'm saying? But that's not because he's attracted to me. That's just who he is, period. He'll say that shit about a bitch he was dealing with in the fourth grade if she came and asked him a question about a nigga she dealing with now. That's just who he is, you know? You have to understand Rome to love him. So the task is at its easiest when...
all love is gone, when the feelings are no more, when you don't feel some type of way about your baby mother still, when you still aren't hoping for a future with your baby father or whatever, when you aren't leading the other on or, you know, bullshit and no line and all that type of shit, if there are no ties intimately, no ties mentally at all,
all, then yes, it is easy co-parenting. But then there are other levels to it. One parent may be financially fit and the other parent may not be. So, you know, you got the moms that run down child support, not even the ones that do it out of spite, the ones that do it because they really need it. You know what I'm saying? You're not really providing what you should be providing for your child. So that's why some of these women do it. A lot of women more than often do it out of spite these days. But what it's really for is that
the child and when you need something and you can't get it from the dad that's what you do you're gonna put that motherfucker on child support it's just a negative connotation wrapped around child support now and shit so a lot of people look at it differently than it should be looked at it's solely for the child and then you flat out just got deadbeat parents out this bitch
Like for real, the other parent that don't want to do shit at all. It ain't even got nothing to do with him being in a relationship or y'all not being together. It's just that he don't do period. It's just that she won't do period. You know what I'm saying? You got those. I don't know what to tell y'all about that. Just keep praying for that person and keep your fist high. Okay. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.
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That brings me to just fix my mess. Now y'all know I always turn to y'all for instances like this so I can relate to y'all as y'all can relate to me. Now I asked on Instagram, is it easy co-parenting when you're not together? How so? Go. I'm going to read a few responses off. Phenomenally Marie on Instagram says, no, because mine don't want nothing to do with the kids unless he can have me.
And this happens to women more often than not. That is very, very fucked up. Honestly, I'm very sorry. So you doing this by yourself. You are what they call a single mother, baby. And I'm very, very sorry about that, Marie. Damn. But.
I don't care how bad you need that motherfucker, how bad you need that brother to be the father for them kids. If that ain't who you want to be with, you better not crack them legs open because he needs to know it's a respect thing. You got to have that standard for yourself. And he needs to know whether I'm fucking with her or not. She has my children who she works to take care of every day of their lives. He needs to come to Jesus moment with his dumb ass self.
Miss.Sparkle84 on Instagram says, yes, it's easy. My son's father and I have been doing it since he was two and he's about to be 14. It's about our child, not us. And it works. Thank God. Hallelujah. I love it. It's about the child, the child. Like I said, you wouldn't be a parent if you didn't have a child. So when I ask a co-parenting question, think about the child.
This person wants to remain anonymous. Easy as hell. We are the best of friends and we aren't attracted to each other at all. Our children was affected by our divorce long ago. However, they eventually got over it. Oh, well, cool. That's good. That means that your children may be grown now. I love that. I have no feedback. That's perfect, baby. Touche. Here's another one.
My baby mother is a lame. She brings my son around every dude she sleeps with. So sadly, no, co-parenting is not easy. Now listen, brother.
Is the co-parenting not easy because you still want your baby mother? You still have those feelings for her? Is that why she's a lame? Is that why you had to disrespect her like that? Before telling me what it is? Because you still didn't tell me how it's not easy. How does her bringing your son around every nigga that she sleep with making it hard for you to raise him with her when y'all are not together? That was the question, babe. Go back to the drawing board. Holler at me next week. I might read it.
This last person says,
Wow. Okay. This was the first and only person that had this response. Now, when you think about it, that's a little toxic, but I do understand it. That means that y'all didn't see no future insight for y'all anyway. She said they had two different ways of parenting, which confused their child. Now, she never made it about them being together or having love for one another or being bitter or whatever. I don't know what their relationship with each other was like. However, to her, it was about...
the child being raised two different ways. Now I bet she's not the only person in the world who feels like that. That's amazing. I have really, really nothing to say about that because all indeed, it was about the child. I love that. So listen, people, when you co-parent, you just have to know what is right for the child. If you are dating someone and you never get to meet their children, that's a red motherfucking flag. If you dating somebody who got kids and you never see them with their kids, you never hear about their kids, that's a red motherfucking flag.
If you feel that it is hard to co-parent because you are in a relationship, there needs to be some type of closure that you and the other parent have to get to the bottom to just so it's healthy. It's healthy going forward for you, the child and any other companions that are in the way. And
Boom. The end of the episode. Just like that. I love y'all because y'all love me. And next week, tune in. I got a very special episode for y'all. Next week, Wednesday, every Wednesday, hump day, in my deepest pan voice. Peace. Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GTDT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights.
Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.
But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be... Shout out!
from the roof top. So, grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trade-in of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256GB for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details. Music