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2021/4/14
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Carefully Reckless

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Jess: 本期节目讨论了关于单词"nigga"的复杂问题。讲述了自身与白人同事的经历,以及她如何处理同事不当使用该词的情况。她详细描述了事件经过,以及她对同事进行教育和处罚的过程。她还探讨了该词的历史渊源,以及它在黑人文化中的不同含义。她认为,虽然黑人社区内部使用该词可能带有亲昵或戏谑的意味,但这并不意味着其他人可以随意使用。她强调了该词对黑人的历史伤害,以及它在白人使用时所带来的冒犯性。她还呼吁黑人社区内部也应该反思该词的使用,并倡导从年轻一代开始,减少甚至停止使用该词。她认为,该词的权力在于其历史背景,以及它被用来伤害黑人的方式。她还分享了听众关于该词使用经历的反馈,这些反馈进一步证实了该词的敏感性和潜在的伤害性。 听众: 听众的反馈涵盖了各种各样的经历和观点,反映了社会上对"nigga"一词使用的复杂态度。一些听众分享了他们被白人使用该词冒犯的经历,并表达了愤怒和不满。另一些听众则表示,他们对该词并不敏感,或者认为在黑人社区内部使用该词是可以接受的。这些反馈突显了该词在不同人群中所引起的截然不同的反应,以及它在社会文化中的复杂性和敏感性。听众的观点也反映了社会上对种族歧视和文化差异的复杂理解。

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The host discusses a personal experience where a white friend used the n-word, leading to a confrontation about its appropriateness and the emotional impact it has on black individuals.

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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.

And just like that, we back on the air. I want to know, last week, did you miss me? I know you did. But look, this week ain't going to be no bunch of jumping around and a whole bunch of cussing and loudness and out of pocket and all the high energy because the bitch don't feel good. So y'all grab your tea because I got mine and I'm sipping it as well. Get ready for story time.

Now look, this topic is a never ending topic. It's never ending. It's always going to be people arguing with it. It's always going to be people debating around it. Okay, here it is.

Now, when COVID first hit, we were forced to shut ourselves in the house. All I could do was think about filming, finding ways to be innovative, to keep y'all into my content, to keep y'all wanting more, to keep y'all wanting Jess. Fine. Creating new ways to be funny. So I did a lot of filming. So one day after wrapping up an episode, we all in the parking lot at the restaurant, Capital Lounge. It's a black owned restaurant in one of the hoods of Baltimore City.

We all standing around having a conversation, laughing, kicking shit, cutting the bull, cracking on each other, whatever. So the videographer says, man, look, I told him, nigga, stop playing with me. Not only was he loud as shit when he said it, he blurted it out. Wasn't nobody even talking to him. This is the thing. He's white.

He's white. So that eventually turned my stomach sour. Didn't like it. But I ain't say shit. I looked at everybody else faces to see their reaction. Ain't nobody do shit, say shit, look stunned or nothing. I said, OK, cool. So we continue with the conversation. Damn, if he say it again, my man said, no, yo, because niggas be wilding. And I said, no, yo, hold up, hold up. It's not right happening.

So I stopped the conversation and I pulled Joe to the side. Everybody else was Ray leave. I said, all right, y'all see y'all later, whatever, whatever. I don't like embarrassing people. Now I've been friends with this guy for like eight years. Never heard him utter the word from his lips, but the fact that he was so comfortable and the fact that he didn't even know why the hell I was pulling him to the side until I told him, lets me know you say this shit every day.

he's not somebody that I hung with every day you know I would just see him at the open mics and you know at the events that we would have you know surrounding comedy but he's never said this shit to me or around me so I'm shocked I'm shocked or doodled do you understand what I'm saying so everybody else getting a call they leave I say yo let me holla at you real quick he said what's up what's up I said um you said nigga

Twice in the conversation we was having, I don't want to say, Jess, let me stop you. Look, I was raised in the hood. I said, hold on. Let me stop you. I don't give a fuck about it. Look at your skin. You're not black. I don't give a fuck if you was even raised in a black family. They should have taught you not to say the shit.

I don't give a fuck. I don't care about none of that. The urban environment in which you grew up does not justify, does not solidify, it does not give you a pass to say nigga. And I don't ever want to hear you say it again. Just period.

It offends me. And so, you know, you have a black friend and you know for a fact that it offends your black friend to hear you say, nigga, you should feel bad. That shit should make you cringe. Even coming up out your throat to come through your mouth to slip through your teeth. You should feel some type of way because I do. And I'm telling you, I do. He said, cool, cool. That was it.

So before he walked away, I said, listen, you know, I understand it is a habit for you and it's going to be hard for you to stop saying it. But I want to help you stop saying it. Do you want to stop saying it? He said, yes, yes, yes. Because I see how it offends you. And I say, yeah, you don't know how many other people that it offends as well. But because people love you, they will beat around the bush or they will let you say it because they know you don't mean it in a derogatory sense. They know that you're not calling us niggas. They know that.

But it still makes them feel some type of way. Trust me, I know I'm not the only black friend that you have that is offended by this shit. I'm quite frankly insulted to say the fucking least. So every time you say it, you need to come up on $5. He said $5. I said $5. Do you want it to be 10? The fuck? And he said, no, no, no. I got you. I got you. All right, cool. By the time it was all said and done, this guy owed me $365. And

That's ironically how many days are in a year. But he didn't say nigga once a day for a year. He crammed 365 niggas in like three weeks. So that's how much he owed me. Now he only paid me like $160. Now he didn't have 365 to give me. You feel me? All right, cool. I get that. But after a while, this shit started to be like a game to him. And I didn't like it. It was like...

Man, if I said all I got to do is give her $5 and then she'll be all right. Nah, nah. It's supposed to be a fucking goal. What the fuck I'm going to do with $365 anyway? 365 ain't nothing to me. I understand it's a lot of money to other people. It's even a lot of money to you, my nigga, because you still owe me the other half of it. So stop playing with me. But either way, I'm like, all right, cool. It's not about you giving me the money. It's about you learning what the word means.

to black people when you say it and you're not black your damn self and even to some black people when other black people say it it's cringeworthy you understand me

So listen, this was the last straw. I'm telling you, this is what did it for me. He had FaceTime me one day. We was going over some content. I wanted him to shoot something for me because I stopped letting him shoot for me and everything. You know, I really was like, no, I can't. I can't fuck with you. I can't fuck with you how I used to until you get it through your thick, greasy head that I don't want to hear you say, nigga, I don't want to hear it. We on FaceTime. So I'm taking out my trash. He was like, yo, you need a man. You you.

You doing a man's job. I said, listen, I've been taking out my own trash for a while. I've been single for about three years. I'm good. I do everything on my own. He said, that's not what I was saying, Negro. Hold up. Hold up. I don't think he understood how bad my blood was boiling. Do you understand you went from nigga to Negro? What the fuck makes you think that that was better to say? What the fuck? What the fuck?

If I was in your face, I was spitting it. Do you not know that's how I feel when I hear you say nigga to me? Do you not know that's how I felt hearing you call me a Negro? I will spit in your face.

No, I'm going to do you one better. I will chew up some tobacco, son. And I don't even do that. And then spit it in your face. That's how offended and insulted I was by that. I said, well, let me tell you something. If I ever see you again in my life and I got a guy with me and oh, no, I'm sorry. And I got a nigga with me. He going to knock your bitch ass out. Believe that. Hung up on him, blocked him. Oh, my God. He was so apologetic. He been hitting me ever since. This was like beginning of quarantine. This guy's been hitting me ever since.

He didn't understand the detriment, the pain, the severity behind that word. And we'll be right back after this. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are really worth talking about. Like their deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. Which...

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So that's story time. And that brings me to carefully reckless discussion. Should we be the only ones allowed to say it? I'm kind of torn about that. I'm kind of torn about it because it should never be said. That goes back to how the word was created. It was created by white people. Nigger, you know, nigger. It starts from nigger.

They didn't only say nigger, though. They said nigga as well. If you go back and you watch some of these movies, if you if you go, go talk to your great great grandmother. If you know if they're still living, hopefully they are. They can tell you they didn't always put the E.R. on it. They put they put a on it because white people had slang back then as well. They would say nigger. They would say nigga. They would say monkey. They would say a bunch of shit that don't nobody want to hear a white person say today.

Whether you cool with that motherfucker or not, whether you just talking to me, whether he was raised in the hood or not, that does not solidify that shit. That does not justify the shit. You cannot talk to me like that. It's disrespectful. It's painful at the end of the day. Now, listen, I'm conflicted on whether black people should be the only ones allowed to say it anyway, because that means we've adopted a word that was created by white people to hurt us. Now, I say the word all the time.

I say it. It's a habit. It wasn't taught in my household. My mother never used this nigga. My father can't stand the word. But as I was growing up, I went to school. I would hear people say it. Friends on the block would say it. My brother would say it to his friends. It's a cultural word now. We use it as cultural slang. It means yo. It means my homeboy. It means, you know, playfully. But we ain't playing when we hear it come from another race. Now that in its own right,

right is hypocritical but it eases the blow because we're black I think that's wrong however it's habitual you know it's a habit it's something that we've we've commonly adopted generationally honestly I do believe that we can stop I do believe that we can create a movement to actually stop us from saying the word that's only for people that want to stop saying the word you know

I feel like a lot of white people feel like this. How the hell can y'all say it? But we can't say we made the shit up. And if we're not being rude to you guys, how the fuck can't y'all like, why can y'all say that? We can't say it.

It's just an unspoken rule. Don't fucking say it. You know why, motherfucker. Because y'all wasn't using it like we use it. Y'all were using it to degrade a race of people. That's why, dumbass. It hurts coming from you guys because y'all were trying to hurt us. This is what we're trying to get through to y'all. That's why it hurts.

Because it was created to hurt black people. I do believe we could put a movement in place to kind of stop even our race from saying it. It starts with the younger generation. It starts with the children. Yes, I say it around Ashton, but I teach Ash to do as I say and not as I do. I think it starts there. Ashton does not use the word nigga. In fact, my mother taught him don't answer to it.

don't say it to others. I love that. Now, if everyone did that with their kids, it could actually stop for generations to come. That's called flushing it out. We could flush the word out, teaching our children, don't call it out to others and do not answer to it. Because kids are the future of the world. They are. And what they see, they absorb. And if you squeeze the sponge, it all comes back out. So if they never absorb, nigga,

Because it's taught not to be said. They won't ever have to regurgitate it. You understand what I'm saying? And that's real shit.

Now, how much power does the word actually have? I believe it has no power until it comes from another race, until it comes from white people. That's what gives the word power, because the word had power behind it back in slavery and even past slavery when things were still segregated. Even now.

It's some black people that can't even just walk away after being called a nigga or they're going to be in jail because they're going to knock a motherfucker out. Now, within reason, rightfully so do that. That's how I would react if a white person called me a nigga.

You know what I'm saying? I think when it's said between two black people, it doesn't hold power. It actually has like a camaraderie about it. That's my nigga right there. Oh, man, nigga, you geeking, nigga. Let me tell you what happened. Oh, they my niggas. You feel me? That's playful slang. If you my nigga, you my ride or die. You loyal. You know what I mean? We've changed. We've altered the definition of what it is.

And we made it our own word, you know? However, it wasn't birthed that way. The word nigga wasn't born to stand for that. Do you understand what I'm saying? So when I ask how much power does it actually hold? I believe when it comes from a race outside of our own, it holds power. And we don't like it. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It makes us cringe.

But for me, it's especially white people, especially. Absolutely no white person is supposed to be able to say nigga. I don't give a fuck. Nigga, nigga, whatever. It don't matter. No, none, none. And like I said, your environment or your upbringing still does not permit you to say it.

I don't care. Now, listen, rappers blast nigga in their music all the time. Now, I remember a couple of years back, Kodak Black was on stage and he brought one of his fans on stage. The little boy was white. Now he was rapping a song, rapping a song. And he did say nigga because there was a part in the song.

Where Kodak said, nigga, Kodak wasn't offended. You know what I'm saying? That was that was a white kid. He wasn't a white man. He was a white kid. But listen, the reason why I feel like Kodak didn't get upset because they blasted this all over the blogs and all over the socials. The reason why I don't think that Kodak got mad and put the little boy off stage is because the kid looked like he was about 11.

I don't think that that was taught to him in his household. You are not to say nigga, do not say it. And obviously he likes black people. He probably has black friends because Kodak is one of his favorite rappers. The little boy went on to say, but I don't think it was taught to him not to say it, which is a problem in his household, not in him.

Because if he was taught that shit, he would have bleeped over it. That's just what it is. He would have skipped right over the word and kept rapping it. Now, a lot of people got mad at Kodak for not putting the little boy off the stage. I get it. He could have took him to the side and said, look, you don't say that. I don't know what you're being taught at home, but nigga is a word that was created by your ancestors to degrade my ancestors. I don't think you should use the word.

But then that little boy could have been like, then why do you say it in your music? So this nigga shit is a very never ending topic. It's always going to be debatable all the time because here you have a race of people that cannot stop saying it. That's us. Then you have a race of people who's confused of why they can't say it.

But I don't understand how you can be so fucking clueless as to why you can't say the shit. You just can't. Don't worry about us saying it. You can't say it. That's it. And then now we're going to get into different races that take advantage of saying the word. Like people got a problem with Cardi B saying it. And, you know, 6ix9ine, Erica Minna, Sin Santana.

People who are not black, people who are not African-American. This is my thing. When people say, no, Cardi black. Okay. Cardi black and something else. You understand what I'm saying? I recommend it. Nah, she, she grew up. I recommend it. It's not fully black.

6ix9ine ain't black at fucking all. Daniel is not black since Santana. I don't know what the fuck she is. I know she like Hispanic though. I don't know what else she is, if she's black at all. So what do we do? We're going to police everybody that say it. We're going to police all the Hispanics that come forth and be like, no, but, but I'm, but I am black. I'm black. Listen,

I don't agree with you using the black card. I'd rather you just say, listen, I was born in the Bronx. All my friends were black. We were in the hood. Everything was predominantly black my whole life.

Like I just I say it because that's I just grew up around everybody else who was saying it. So I so I'm saying it too. That's just it point blank. Like don't go on ancestry.com and try to tell me your percentage of black and justify why you can say the word. That's

That's not, that's not going to work. But on another hand, that shit don't offend me when them women say that shit. When six, nine say that shit, when, when biracial motherfuckers say it, like, you know, when Hispanics, that shit don't phase me like it phases me when a white motherfucker say it.

You know what I'm saying? It doesn't. So we're going to police all Hispanics and we're going to police Cardi every time she said we're going to police 6ix9ine and all that. We're going to police them every time. We're going to cancel them every time. The motherfuckers finna be canceled for life. It's in their vocabulary. No, police the right motherfuckers. It's white people that still use it to this day and mean it and mean it.

Not, oh, no, that's my nigga, man. Niggas be tripping. Nah, they use it and they mean it. We've seen instances where white people will get mad at a black person and say nigga just to hurt the black person because they can't beat us.

Because they can't fight. Because they want to hit below the belt. They want to feel like they did something. So there are white people that have used the word and then got their clown asses knocked the fuck out. And they would rather risk that to hurt us. They don't care getting knocked out. That's the lawsuit.

Most of them do that just so we can get sent to jail. I think it should be a fucking charge you catch for calling a black person a nigga. That's what I think when it's used by a Caucasian. And then we got words we can say back in return like cracker, honky, hillbilly. That shit don't make them no motherfucking never mind. They don't care about that shit. They don't. Trust me. I don't care about cracker, honky or they don't care about it.

It hurts them more when we say, when y'all get wet, y'all smell like dogs. That hurts them worse than us calling them crackers. And then what the fuck is a honky? Like, who the fuck even invented that? That shit, I wouldn't be offended if a nigga called me a honky. The fuck is a honky? Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

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Now that brings me to Just Fix My Mess. So of course, I went online and I asked my fans and followers how they felt about it. And I'm going to read just a few of them off.

I said, how do you guys feel about the word nigga? Tell me about an experience you've encountered that ended badly. Go. Davis Diva said when an ex friend tested me, she was Asian. Her BF was black and their friend was white. We all were chilling in my car. So basically I was smoking. I get it. They told the white dude to say nigga around me to see how I would react. I corrected his ass ASAP.

I said, you can say it anywhere else. That's on you, but not in my car. Period. They didn't expect for me to care. So you did the right thing. But honestly, I would have slapped the shit out of my Asian friend and I would have slapped the shit out of her black boyfriend. I don't give a fuck. And I would have slapped the shit out the white boy to get the fuck out my car because y'all tried me. And if you were my friend, friend who dared the white boy to say it, you had to already have in your mind that that would have hurt my feelings because

because I'm black and I don't play that shit so now all y'all get the fuck out but I see in the beginning you said when an ex-friend tested me and that's exactly what the fuck she need to stay an ex-friend because that shit would have hurt me daily but I'm telling you I would have smacked shit out of all three of them they just would have had to jump me the fuck out my car walk and give me my goddamn blunt bat thank you deeply rooted goddess says

Old head called me a nigga in front of my kids and I hit him with my car off his bike. And I know that's the fuck, right? I would have done the same thing. But I hope you didn't go to jail for that shit. I hope you didn't. I would have sped off so fast like I was a getaway car. But hit his ass is what you should have did. I don't give a fuck. Don't ever disrespect me in front of my child. Don't disrespect me, period. But not in front of my children. That's not what we're going to do.

Trepito Allen says, don't bother me. Shrug emoji. Okay, well, that's good. That's very big of you. I totally understand. I know a lot of people, a lot of black people who the word don't bother. That's good. I'm still trying to learn how to be as unbothered as you guys. That takes a lot of patience. It takes a lot of endurance and tenacity to be able to not react to a white person calling you a nigga to let that shit roll off your back. You understand what I'm saying?

Deja Kleist says, just recently told a guy that he had to wear a mask at my job. He proceeded to tell me that he has a medical condition, which clearly he was just being an asshole. So I told him we will refuse his service if he does not put on a mask. So he called me a fucking nigger as he walked out of the door.

I just laugh because white people think that that is the worst insult to a person of color when I don't even look at it like that. He was the ignorant one and you won't get a reaction out of me by calling me that because that's exactly what they want. Sorry, boo. I have too much to lose. Definitely been called worse. Oh, and he got more mad when I started laughing. Shrugs.

I know that's right. I'm going to commend her on that level of maturity because honestly, she made a mad because she didn't get mad.

I love that. Make them just as mad as they trying to make us. On the contrary, I would have jumped over that motherfucking counter so fast before he even parted ways out the door. His head would have been through that glass door. I don't even know if the door was glass, but I would have broke it, whatever it was, with his fucking forehead. Now, nigga what? Nigga what? And more than likely, I would have been fired and locked up and all that other shit. But it's just something about it. It's cringy. It's cringy.

How can you ever say it if you're not a real racist and you white? How the fuck do you even feel right saying this shit out your mouth, bro? That's not what you do. Kimmy underscore Brown says, I hate it. It's associated with the level of ignorance that we should evolve from. Now, that's exactly what I was saying earlier. That's what I was saying earlier, Kimmy. And I do understand and I agree with you.

We should. That's what makes me so conflicted about using it, but telling others that they can't use it. You understand? It's always going to be ongoing, never ending, never ending. Underscore underscore anything is possible says I was in eighth grade and bumped into a white girl and she called me a nigga.

And I beat her ass in first period. To my knowledge, I was the last nigga or black person, period, that she said that to. As you fucking should have. Because I would have beat her ass in first period, second period, third period, and even after school on a goddamn school playground so everybody could see.

I don't think it was, I don't think it's playgrounds in middle school, but shit, fuck it. I don't know. I would have beat her ass in the cafeteria at lunch. I would have beat her ass in PE and gym so everybody could see how to beat her ass in music class with the clarinets. Don't you ever in your dirty, wet dog ass life call me no nigga, bitch. And that's just it. That's how I feel about it. And there you have it. The most ongoing, never ending, debatable topic in life is always going to be nigga.

That brings me to current news. There isn't going to be any current news because the most current news today is the word nigga because it's currently used by too many goddamn races. It's currently used by too many fucking people, including our own. Now, I want to have a moment of silence, but the one and only brilliant, brilliant ride or die rough rider DMX. We lost him to what they say is.

A heart attack. So many rumors were circulating this guy's death, you know. First they said it was OD. They said he OD'd. But I'm telling you, yo, this guy was just on drink champs a couple weeks ago. He did not look like he was on drugs. He looked healthy. The way he spoke, the way everything.

I don't know, man. We've known DMX long enough to know, you know, when he high, you know what I'm saying? When he's on drugs and I'm telling you, it just didn't look like he was. But when, when they said that, Oh, he OD'd at first, it was like, Oh, okay. And then they said he had just got the vaccination, but then they said that he caught COVID. Then they said it was a heart attack.

I just choose to believe the heart attack. I do not believe that the guy was on drugs. I don't even believe he had COVID, but that's just me. I love you all just like y'all love me. On that note, we done. Next week, I will be up and at it again with another episode of Carefully Reckless and my energy will be high. I'm sorry, y'all. I don't feel well. And no, I do not have COVID. I have tested negative seven times.

And I do not have it. Just keep me in your prayers and I will keep y'all in mind. I love y'all. And in my best Pam voice, I'ma still do it.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.

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