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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪
And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Listen, y'all, it's been a lot going on. For those who don't know, I actually had the pleasure...
of hosting Jocelyn's Cabaret season four reunion y'all y'all gotta get into it make sure if y'all don't got Zeus make sure y'all download yeah sure have to pay a prescription it's like no a subscription um make sure y'all pay that subscription so y'all can watch y'all good old sis
host that reunion. That's something I've never ever done before. Now, that is a show where they be fighting, but it ain't like baddies where you gotta fight to be on there. It's actually some good enlightening shit. Like, I'm proud of Jocelyn. I can't wait for y'all to see, because one thing that you expect about Jocelyn is to always see her beat the shit out of somebody. And she actually shocked the fuck out of me, so I need y'all to go ahead and watch. Tune into that. That will be coming very soon, y'all. But we're gonna jump right into Fixing the Mess. Now, this is...
The lady from a few episodes back that she caught herself checking me, you know, because I didn't know the laws and I guess the rights of bisexual women per se. So she caught herself checking me. I did tell her that I knew everything that she was telling me and that that still didn't
So how the fuck you gonna come at me? You didn't even finish the fucking episode. But this is what she said. I haven't listened to it. This is my first time listening to it, just like it'll be y'all first time. So here we go.
Hi, good afternoon, Jess. Hope your day has gone well. Yes, ma'am. I'm just hitting you up today just for two reasons. Firstly, to thank you for listening to my last messages to you and responding to them, responding to me directly and using it in the Fix My Mess for last week. It was very enlightening to be able to hear that.
Um, I didn't even know you would use it. So I just wanted to thank you once again, just for taking the time. Well, yes, ma'am. Your day to even respond, you know, and get back with me on that, about how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I thank you so much for that. First off, um,
And then also, you told me not to contact you again, but I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't block me, which I expected, just so that I could have this opportunity to reach back out to you. And thank you once again for listening. I also want to...
I ain't going to block you, girl. No, I ain't say I was going to block you. I did tell you don't reach back out to me. No, y'all, I did say that. Now, there is audio of me saying that. But I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, how you going to come at me? You ain't even finished listening to what I said. I don't give biased advice. And if I feel like I don't know...
that much on a topic. One thing I ain't going to do is stick my foot in my mouth because I don't know. I don't know the ins and outs of everything that I'm asked. You know what I mean? But I only give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom, you know? So if there's anything I don't know, I will gladly tell you.
I can't help you or it won't be on an episode because I'm not going to put your business out there if I can't advise you. So, yeah, this is also what she said. I also want to issue a formal apology to you for offending you. And I can clearly tell by your response to me directly. And when you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly offended you by trying to critique your advice to someone else.
And I also want to thank you for mirroring back to me how important word choice is when you're trying to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now recognize that me using the term check you in the beginning of the conversation definitely put everything in a more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully so. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.
I definitely could have used a better term because when I use the word check, I didn't mean that as in correction. I definitely did mean it as in education or just to try to give you another perspective. Yes, ma'am. See, this is what grown women can do. I love this. Thank you, girl. Hold up. She ain't done. Okay. One of her voice notes are not playing, but...
I actually listened to all of it. It was about 34 minutes, I believe, and stopped when there was just nine minutes left. So when I got your response saying that I needed to listen to the rest of it, I went ahead and went back to it and, you know, it picked right back up where it was. And I realized, you know, it was just nine minutes left. So the last part of what I heard was just you, you know, giving her more advice. Then you did the, you know, in your PAM voice piece and the...
The next set of advertisements came on and then that was the end of it. So I actually did get the whole bulk message and that whole session. So my apologies for misquoting that as well. I actually had listened to the majority of it before I had applied.
excuse me, replied. So I can wholeheartedly understand how you thinking I only meant because of my misspeaking, you thinking that I had only listened to nine minutes and then trying to judge everything, I would have been off put by that as well. So I absolutely get it. So I just wanted to correct that one point right there.
Right there. There she go with the chair. Right there. And then to answer your question. So you asked when I mentioned being triggered, let me also explain what I meant by that. I did not mean about that specific situation. I meant in more general terms. It just seems like in society today and past and present.
that us women get blamed for a lot that the men do. Yeah. And not a lot of accountability is placed on the man. There's a lot of double standards. I mean, I know you see it, you see it every day in social media, the different posts that come about. Yeah. Different podcasts, conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women can never do
right you know what I'm saying and that's what I was triggered by not by this particular situation just those double standards and how us women have to take so much on the chin yeah and and in my reality in my um you know I wonder why all her voice notes are not playing gosh this is frustrating me because she has some good things to say
Thank you, honey.
And thank you for everything that you do. And please know I was not at all offended by anything that you said or anything. Thank you. Said in response to me at all. Not at all. Thank you. I like to debate. I've been on the debate team in schools and things like that. So that conversation, even though we weren't talking directly back and forth to one another, I felt like that what was going on and that feeds me. Yeah. So I.
I wholeheartedly appreciate it. Never took offense to anything. And I still love you just the same. Just the same.
Last thing I want to say is, and then I'll get off here because I need to eat lunch. The last thing I want to say is, you may not be aware, but I'm sure you can see my picture when I write you. I do look very youthful. So I don't know. Yes, you do. Responding to me as baby girl is meant in a. Oh, no, no. But I'm actually a few years older than you. So I just wanted to point that out. That's it.
But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people. I love your platform. I will continue to listen. And I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day, love. Bye-bye.
Hey, Miss Ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no. I literally call, if you listen all the time, like you say you do, I say baby, I call a lot of my women baby girl. Just because I don't know the ages that you women are. Yes, you do look a lot youthful. You look very, very youthful in your photo. Very.
very nice and curvy too but yeah you know you know little petite slim little thing but yes you do look young so that that's the only reason that I call you baby girl not to be smart I ain't one of those that be oh baby girl uh sweetie uh yeah no not to be smart no I'm not I literally wasn't um I do want to thank you and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to actually reach back out after um
Me saying, don't be, you know, don't reach back out to me and all that. I was just very upset because I was like, no, she did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does put a negative connotation on things when you say things like, I'm checking you. You know what I mean? Just these days, I'm
Wordplay is so it can mean so many different things if you're not directly talking to a person one on one. Anything can get misconstrued or misinterpreted or anything when you're sending voice notes or when you're sending text messages, like if you're not in the same like.
area as a person if you're not talking one-on-one shit can kind of get lost in translation you know people can assume things um I'm so happy that you were not offended by anything I said I'm so happy that you did hit me back um guys I did send her a message that I did not preview you guys to because I felt like that was for me and her and not for you guys um basically just you know um
Telling her that, you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't think that she, you know, she critiqued me and came at me and all of that, you know, checked me, but she ain't listened to the whole thing. And see, this is why communication is good as well. I didn't know that she listened to 21 minutes of it. She didn't listen to nine minutes. I thought she said she listened to only nine minutes of it. So, um...
Yes, but I appreciate you, girl. Keep on going back and forth with me. And if you got any more mess for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting.
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All right, moving on to the next story. Here we go. Hey, Jess, am I wrong? So my best friend of 15 years just got engaged and she asked me to be her maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that she's cheating on her now fiance and has no plans of stopping. I told her I can't support her nor attend the wedding. She said if I don't come, it will raise red flags. Am I wrong or should I stand my ground?
All right. So look, check this out. Right. What I think is this is a very complex story and this can tear you as a best friend and as a woman, because as a woman, you standing on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing on morals. You know what I'm saying? And what you believe in, what you believe is that.
When you're marrying somebody, you have to be faithful. And upon getting married, you're you're writing your vows. This is a covenant, you know, of commitment that we're about to, you know, sign before God. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. This is a contract. You can't you can't fuck this up, basically. And in God's eyes, this is a sacred contract.
A covenant of commitment to be together forever, for better or for worse. This bitch is already at her worst. God damn. So basically, your best friend is cheating on her husband, on her soon-to-be husband, who is now, you know, her fiance. You don't want to attend the wedding because it goes against what you believe.
Which is you have to be faithful within your vows, within your relationship, within your marriage. But you know she ain't going to stop cheating. So you like I don't I don't even want to be a part of this shit. Hmm. As a woman, you are doing the right thing. As a best friend, you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry. I I'm sorry.
If it were me and my best friend was going up to be married and I knew she was cheating on her husband or her wife, you know, because my best friend is gay. I don't I would say I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't not be in the wedding just because my bond with my best friend.
Trump's everything like it. I put my bond with her over everything. My best friend is my girl. That's my ride or die. Y'all know how much I hate that term, that phrase ride or die. No, this is my my real life of a half type best friendship. Like best friend is used very loosely these days. The term friend is.
in general, is used very loosely these days. I feel like to define friend, that gotta be, man, your confidant, the person that tells you when you're wrong, the person that you run to for advice, the person that runs to you for advice, the person that loves you in and out, that loves you no matter what you got in your bank account, that loves you no matter what
Obstacles are throwing you away and shit like that. That's a friend. That's a friend. And a person that holds you down, man, no matter what you're going through, a person that spots you, that can see when something is wrong, a person that doesn't ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no matter what's what's going on, whether that's good or bad. They with you in your times of ups as they're with you in your times of down. So.
So, um, that's what a friend is for me. That's what a, that's what a best friend is that I just described. And, um, her cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline being her maid of honor at her wedding. Now, will there be a conversation put in place prior to the wedding and what I think she should do, what I feel, uh,
She's up against and how how bad I feel as a woman standing up there knowing what you're doing, knowing that you are already breaking your vows, knowing that you that you up here live in a fucking lie. You're living in sin before God and your wife and, you know, and or husband, whatever. That's going to bother me. It's not going to bother me to the point where I'm going to say I'm not going to be in a wedding, but.
It will bother me a great deal. Yes, it would. But she would definitely know how I feel before she walked down that aisle. You know what I'm saying? Whether she still want to go with it or not. Whether she want to keep it real with her damn self or not. To be honest...
I would object. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to be one of them to object. I am not going to not be there again. I want to stress this. I'm not going to not stand there as I'm made of honor. But what I'm going to do is tell her what the plan is. Look, I'm going to stand up there with you. But if you let that preacher or pastor, whoever or whoever is marrying you guys, if you let him include that one little part where he say, speak now or forever hold your peace. If you feel like,
you know, that these two shouldn't get married, I'm going to say, okay, listen, I do. I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And then the husband or the wife will be like, uh, uh, yes I am. Uh, and then look at my best friend. Like, why is your best friend stepping out of line saying this shit? And she going to have to tell that nigga or tell that woman right there because she knows something that the rest of you don't know. She knows something that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently. And I didn't plan to stop.
And so my best friend had a problem with that. And she's actually battling her morals standing here next to me today, marrying you, knowing damn well I cheat and I'm not going to stop. Now, she may not say it like that. Shit, it ain't my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object. It's your place to tell him. So, yeah, while I'll be there with ringing bells, bright eyed and bushy tailed.
supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. I don't think that she's ready. I do not think that she's ready. And I'm sorry. If she choose to be like, I don't know what she's talking about. I'm ready. I'd be like, all right, that's fine.
And then I will step back in line. So niggas know. Niggas could just try to stop the shit. So that way the divorce won't look so ugly. The divorce won't look like it just came out of fucking nowhere. Because Jess tried to warn us. Period. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm going to beat your ass. Listen.
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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
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State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I think I killed G.T.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
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Now, I know a lot of my listeners are going to be like, Jess is lying. She is not about to stand up there against our best friend and say no bullshit like that. And da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And say, listen, you're shitting me. You're shitting me. I absolutely understand, as a best friend, the position that you're put in. And I honestly feel like you should have a conversation with your girl. She say she don't want to. She ain't going to stop.
don't be in a wedding I honestly feel like that I just gave you what I would do um and what I would do would probably embarrass her much more you know embarrass her further more but it's better to get that shit out the way then then later on break this man's heart over something that could have been prevented you know what I mean I know the wedding is already probably paid for uh she wants to have a cake and eat it too and shit like that and um
I know that, but, you know, obviously you are a woman of deep morale and you just don't you don't you don't like certain shit. You don't stand for certain shit. And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the right thing. And as a best friend, you're doing an even righter thing. Just have that conversation. This may put a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend. But when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture, I don't see anything wrong with that.
And if it ain't going to physically hurt you or mentally hurt you or emotionally hurt you to lose a friend for a little while, I say shit. Don't go. Don't be in it. Or you can go. Just don't be in it. You know what I mean? But definitely tell her how the fuck you feel.
you definitely gotta tell her you can't just like say I don't want to be in a wedding and then she not know why you know what I mean obviously she knows you have your reservations about this shit because you told me that she said it would be raising red flags if you don't come how the fuck would that be a red flag to be honest with you it'd just be me and my best friend fell out hey
Has your best friend ever come close to her husband finding out that she's cheating? Her fiance finding out that she's cheating? And is it with multiple men? Is this like a mistress type of thing? Like, does she have a nigga on the side who's just one main nigga on the side, you know? I need to know. Is she just... I don't know. Does the husband, the fiance have money? Is she marrying this nigga for security, financial security? And is she just getting her little dick on the side? Or, you know, it...
I need some more meat on the bone. I know you probably...
Don't want your best friend to figure out that you talking about her, but baby, she probably already going to know, you know, you brought this shit up to her, obviously. And she's probably going to know because she's probably an avid, carefully reckless listener. I also can't help but to point out the fact that you said I'm not the only person that you gave this story to because you really are torn. You need to know. You want to know what you should do. Oh, man. But that's what I think you should do, baby. Just be honest and just...
And just get back to me. Tell me how the shit go. When is the wedding? And shit, I might pop out and object. You never know. If you don't want it to be you, how about you go and I go and shit. And then when they say, oh, if anybody objects, I can say I object because I know that she cheating on this man and I don't want him to find out later. So better now.
Or whatever. Does anybody else want to get married so these people money don't go to waste on these decorations? And then we'll see how that go. But just let me know, baby girl. And just like that, we are done this episode. We've come to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless with your girl, Jess Hilarious. And what I be doing, I be fixing mess like how I be doing. So if you got mess that you want me to fix, whether you want me to fix it on Carefully Reckless, on the Black Effect, shout out to iHeart, or on Breakfast Club, make sure you hit me up in the Carefully Reckless podcast.
DM sending me a story. Now you can send it via voice note or you can type a long ass paragraph, but make sure you do punctuations. Correct. Because if it's a long run on sentence, I ain't going to read it.
I'm getting tired of trying to fix y'all broken English and shit. Broken literature. Yeah, I don't want my nigga to know my voice. Well, bitch, you need to go take a punctuation class. You need to go take an English class over and figure out how to fucking write. If I gotta read it, your mess ain't gonna ever get fixed. All right? It is what it is. And in my deepest pan, boys. Peace. See you next week.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight. Available for
panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.
But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be shouting!
So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T connecting changes. Everything requires trade in of galaxy S note or Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for $0 additional fees, terms and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.
The fall season. We don't have to let it happen yet. Because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.
MITRE is investing in a massive AI supercomputer to power a new federal AI sandbox. With AI's potential to drive transformational advances across industries, MITRE's expertise in healthcare, cybersecurity, transportation, finance, climate, and national security will be critical. Transform your career while helping solve problems for a safer world. Visit MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.