You Knew That Man Had a Girlfriend!
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Oh shit, and just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Can't Believe Reckless episode. What's your girl? Just hilarious. You're going to jump straight into it because what do I do best? I fix your mess.

Okay.

Fast forward a few months later, I was at a party and there was this one kid there with his parents. He was talking some weird stuff and I was laughing. Then this boy walk up and I was like, are you into those things? Jokingly.

I don't remember what we spoke about, but after, I remember him asking me if I had an Instagram and I said yes. He followed me and we talked for a good 30 minutes before I got bored and went home. I followed him back a couple days after he texted me and I responded, charming as hell, filled with sweet talk, and he was so nice, so we started dating. After our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like...

What kind of friend are you? I didn't know what he was talking about, so I pretended not to hear. Then I noticed my friend that we're calling A not texting me nor talking to me when we've seen each other. All she'd do is mean mug. A few days later, somebody told me that the boy was A's boyfriend. I was shocked and stopped talking to him.

The only person I told was one of my friends from church. She would always talk me into dating him, even though we both know about him having a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her. Well, obviously. One day, as I was watching the boy's IG story, I saw him post a picture of my friend from church.

And I was like, oh, when did that happen? Didn't pay it any mind, though. He came to my house and stood outside for a few nights and I didn't respond until a few nights later. I got tired and went out there to him. He cried and told me a isn't who he thought she was. And no matter what, he's not going back to her. I didn't care because I have it to say that's my friend.

So I don't care what he says. I tried talking to A, but she wouldn't talk to me when I called her. Then I saw a video of the boy and my friend from church making out. Couple days after I saw A, she looked sick and I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she kept walking. Turns out she was pregnant and it was by the boy and they're now together.

Until this day, she still thinks that I know that it was her BF and still talk to him. We didn't even have sex. He did kiss me, though. I know I'm not going to lie. That was wrong. And I was falling for him. But right as I heard that was her man, I was gone. That's not me. And I don't care about our friendship no more. So, yeah.

A lot. So what the fuck are you asking me, baby girl? Because it sounds like you wanted to tell me this story and the way you told this story, you want to paint yourself out to be a better person than you may have been in this whole ordeal.

Now you 18, so I'm gonna break it down to you in terms that you can understand. I know you knew that that was your home girl's boyfriend. I know because you told on yourself in the damn story, little girl. You told on yourself right here. You said, after our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like, what kind of friend are you? And I didn't know what he was talking about. So I pretended not to hear. Then I noticed A not texting me or talking to me. When we seen each other, all she do is mean mug. A few days later, somebody told me that was the boy that A was going out with.

I was shocked and I stopped talking to him. And then you went on and said, the only person I told was my friend from church. And she would always talk me into dating him, even though we knew he had a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her. So you told on yourself, baby girl, because you and the backstabbing church girl that Beyonce was talking about in the damn song, ran back and told a, that she was fucking with her man. A stopped talking to you.

And then the damn church girl went and started fucking with the boyfriend as well. Damn. So now the boyfriend then had all of y'all in a goddamn frenzy with A being first. I'm just call you B, you B and then C for the church girl.

I don't got time for this. All y'all too damn young. Now we got A pregnant by this three-timing nigga because he ain't two-timing because it's three of y'all. Yo ass, you knew that was A's boyfriend. And I'm gonna tell you another way that you snitched on your damn self, baby. You remember his cologne. That was the same goddamn cologne he had on all four times y'all met up. You ain't gonna tell me that you did not know that was A's boyfriend.

Now, listen, you make mistakes. You're young. Y'all are children. This shit happens with y'all ages. Okay. Some shit like this happened to me when I was 16. I didn't end up pregnant and neither did the other girl who was my friend who was fucking with a guy that I was fucking with. You know, we were in fucking high school. It happened. She's still one of my good friends till this day.

It's just shit that you do when you're young. I think you should still try to talk to A. I don't think you should give up on the friendship. So don't be hitting me talking about something. Yeah, I don't care about our friendship no more. So yeah. No, you and that girl were friends and you did her wrong. I think instead of trying to get her to respond, you should just apologize because you're not taking accountability for what you did.

And you know you were wrong. And that fucking church girl knows she was wrong too. Okay? And I don't even mean to be using church and an F word in the same sentence. But she knew she was wrong as well. But it's starting with you. It starts with yourself. You can't speak for church girl. Okay? You need to apologize. Go in apologizing. I don't care. Lose your pride. And I know it's hard.

to not be prideful at such a young age. Cause y'all always feel like somebody coming at y'all and y'all tough and, and you got to prove a point, especially at your little age, baby, put that pride aside. And even if you don't get your friend back, you still owe her a sincere apology. I mean what I'm saying to you. Okay.

I mean it. That's it. You are never to go around that nigga again. That is A's. That is your friend's boyfriend and now baby father. Okay? That's a family now, whether you like it or not. Whether the connection was strong between you and this young boy or not. Y'all don't know nothing about no goddamn connections.

Y'all don't know about that. I ain't gonna say you don't know what love is, but you don't know about these connections that y'all got. No, y'all just little horny ass people. Little cute horny ass humans running around and shit. And now Aiden got a damn baby. And it better be his. Shit, if she was having sex with, we just gonna call him D. Oh, yeah. If she was having sex with D, she having sex with E, F, and G. All right?

But we talking about you. You have to fix the situation, even if it's not fixed in a sense where y'all are friends. You still did something wrong that you need to take accountability for, apologize for, and move on. She doesn't want to accept you as a friend anymore. That's fine. That's on you. She has every reason not to. She had every reason to whoop your ass, to be honest with you, but I'm not going to encourage fighting because y'all already do it. All right? Check back in with me, but get yourself together, girl. This is what I'm talking about.

There's so many little boys out here. Stop dating boys after your friends. All right. That's what we call leftovers. Shit, I ain't that old. I know y'all still call them that. Moving on.

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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

Hey Jess. Okay, so boom. I've been with my girl for five years. So we solid off the top. Everything right now is good. No complaints. Just regular relationship shit, you know? But the problem, I believe, is me.

I have super bad trust issues that it sometimes affects our relationship. And I really do love her and plan to be with her as long as time takes us. We've dealt with flirting type stuff, but nothing serious that would make me not trust her. I say I'm the problem because before her, I used to be a real bad cheater. Not proud, but it is what it is. So my question to you is, do you think my past actions will always affect my trust?

If you let it always affect your trust, yes, it will. Yes. That's something that only you can control because like I always tell my baby father, I tell Rome this all the time. I used to tell him this all the time. He is no need for me to tell him this now. I used to have to tell him all the time, you know, all that cheating you're doing on your significant other or your girlfriend, that is making you insecure as well. Because if you can do this to a person that you're in a relationship and that you love so much and you have no reason to cheat,

If you can do that, you're always going to think it's going to be done to you because you can do it perfectly fine. And some people will never see it that way. But people bring insecurities on themselves a lot of times, not just others. You can cause insecurity within yourself sometimes.

yourself, because it's something that he was always looking for. My son's father was always looking for something and he could love you and you could be most loyal to him in love with him, be there at his every beck and call, everything, do everything right. And he'll still go cheat. He doesn't feel complete. It's not the girl, just like in your situation. It was never the girl or in previous relationships. You said you used to be a really bad cheater and those relationships, it couldn't have been the other girls. It was you who did it. Okay.

So you are insecure because of the things that you've done to other people. It's true. It happens in marriages, not even just relationships and friendships. I had a friend who was always losing her friends all the time. It was how she was treating her friends. You only want to use them when it's convenient for you. You only want to be around certain girls to talk about your other friends. You only want, you know, she was very toxic and messy in friendships. That's why we're not friends anymore.

And she had to see, I brought it to her attention, that it's not everybody else. It's you. The common denominator is always you. You're always losing people. It's you.

All right. You can take advice A or B. A, stop dating. Work on yourself because you're always going to have this problem if you don't recognize it. That's the answer to your question. But that's totally up to you. That starts with you. You have to realize that you're insecure because of yourself, because of the things that you've done. So that's A, stop dating. B, sit down with her and have this conversation with her if you haven't already yet.

Tell her to work with you because sometimes you'll have that person, depending on who you're with, that they love you enough. They'll help you get through your insecurities. They'll help you become better as a person. They'll help you build a solid foundation. That is where solidarity comes from. Being able to be your girlfriend's friend, being able to be your boyfriend's friend, because, you know, that's the foundation, the friendship.

You can't just jump from strangers to now we're in love. No, it has to be a foundation built. Okay. And it's not always easy. It's not even easy in my relationship right now. My current relationship, me and Daniel are still building, just building. Yes. The motherfucker from the show. Yeah. You know, we're still building and that shit takes time. So A or B check back in with me, baby. Moving on.

Okay, so I wanted to write in for this. I was with my ex on and off for like three years. I realized recently she's not only a narcissist, but she's been using me for my energy, positivity, the fact that I'm stable on my own. So I left.

two things one she has a son that i've built a bond with and honestly love this child like he's my own and i don't know what to do about this aspect on our break and two every time we've broken up over the years i've actively tried getting over her and honestly nobody has been able to fuck me like her

I'm moving on and I'm not about to get used now that I've seen it plainly, but it's hard letting go of that fire ass sex. You can leave my name out. And I'm from PG County and I'm out in Atlanta now, but I'm proud to see how far you've come and seeing somebody from back home get on like this. Even if Baltimore is a little different, it's all love to me. Oh, thank you.

I know she got back to the story eventually because I was like, girl, you finish telling me the damn story. Thank you. All right. Continuing with her story. Just to give you some meat on the bones. I'm 29 and she's 31. We're both bisexual, but monogamous when we're together and tested.

Also, she doesn't live with me. I moved down here from the DMV before COVID and I have my own spot, car, job, bills, everything, LOL. She's living with her mom and son. Her son is nine. I don't judge people for whatever situation they're in in life. Plus, while we would be together, she would cash at me for everything and anything I would go out my way for. Groceries, gas, bills, whatever. So it was very hard to notice that she was using me at all.

But she's very negative about herself and life sometimes. And I'm a genuinely positive person. So I started connecting the dots and noticing the bullshit. There you go. Plus, her mom is slight weight homophobic and hates me, even though I'm the best partner she's ever been with. So that was stress in itself.

I know this is a lot. My apologies, but Jess, fix my mess. The relationship is over with and I'm done, but I think the relationship I have with her son is the hardest part, honestly. Oh, man. Now,

I do understand that. I understand it's the relationship with the son, but it's also all that fire ass sex that she was talking about that you mentioned frequently throughout that damn passage that I just read. Now, first and foremost, thank you so much for congratulating me and supporting me and always just being a day one. I thank you, babe. Back to your ass. It's so much fire sex out this motherfucker. It's so much fire sex. Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah. What sticks out to me the most about this, you said that she's negative about herself and in life, period. That's work that she has to do on herself. You did the right thing. You picked up and you left. Now that little boy, all you can do is pray for him. I still would not even encourage that you still try to have a bond with him because then that gives her a reason to keep you attached to her.

And she could very well use the fact that you're so close with her son to kind of manipulate you to be with her or to still deal with her or to still send her money and do things for her. Her and her mother got to get that together because honestly, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. The apple don't far, far from the tree.

All right. Yes. She was looking for someone to take care of her. Yeah. And she just happened to have Bon Plitsey and an unbelievably beautiful son. Beautiful. I can tell the way you speak of him that you do love him, but you have to get over that. And I'm very, very sorry if it seems like I'm being harsh, you know, or insensitive to your love for this baby. No, no, I'm not. What I love is that he's nine and he's not three.

He understands. These nine-year-olds these days, I have a 10-year-old. He understands. Listen, I've been in relationships. Ashton has known every goddamn guy. When they leave, Ashton know how to cut it the fuck off. Now, that is not to say that that's right. But what's wrong? Let's talk about it. What's wrong with it?

I feel, and a lot of people may disagree, my son has a right to know each and every man I call myself being in an official relationship with. I don't give a fuck if it was four relationships. All right. He knew AJ. He knew Chris.

He knew Wayne and he knows Daniel. And that is how the fuck is going to be. If Daniel ain't the nigga I marry, whoever the fuck I do marry, Ash going to know that one. That's the type of bond me and my son have. You will know each and every person that your mom calls a boyfriend. You will. Now, little flings, no, you ain't even worth coming around my son. A fling is just, I'm using you for one thing, baby. That's it.

but something serious, yes. So a lot of people may disagree and I'm okay with that, but that could be how she is with her child. Because trust me, whoever she is dealing with now or after you, her child's gonna meet them too.

So you have to cut that off. And the great thing about it is you're not in the same city anymore. It should be. And I know it's easier said than done. It should be a lot easier for you because you don't have full access to her. You can't just pull up on her and shit. You got to get on the flight. And her mom hating you and her mom being slightly homophobic. Yeah.

You ain't got to deal with that either. Okay. You don't have to deal with taking care of someone instead of building and taking care of each other, getting that solid work that you put in to be a family. I'm sorry. You just going to have to move on. That's just what it is. So basically to fix your mess, all I'm doing is confirming what you already told me.

You already got all the tools. You left. You ain't there. She got the best sex. Whatever. You in Atlanta. There's a whole bunch of gay motherfuckers running around ready to get fucked. Go ahead. Take your pick. Shit. All them fish in the sea down there.

I'm glad you made it out too. And I'm gonna end it on that. And just like that, we've come to get the end of another carefully reckless episode where Jess is fixing your mess. Y'all tune in each and every Wednesday at 7 a.m. Also tune into Reckless Discussions, which will air every Wednesday evening, only on YouTube, 7 p.m. Watch, like, subscribe, give your feedback. If it's anything that you want us to talk about on Reckless or anything you want me to speak on in Carefully Reckless.

Say if there's a situation that you didn't even go through, but one of your friends have a situation or somebody else that you know has a situation and you want to give them advice. Write me about it. Everything is exclusively anonymous unless you beg me to say your name or send in a voice note because niggas gonna know your voice because it's going on here and I can't disguise it. I can help. So send it in. And in my deepest pan voice, peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I can kill GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available

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