Curious Matter Presents: The Rapscallion Agency
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Welcome to Curious Matter Anthology. I am Jonathan Pezza, your host. I know it's been a little while since you heard from us last. We've made a few changes between seasons and are now part of the Fable and Folly Network. Rest assured, though, we are hard at work on Season 3, and we'll have some exciting announcements coming your way soon.

In the meantime, we're kicking off our very first episode of Curious Matter Presents, a new, off-season bonus series where we present episodes from other amazing shows in the audio drama universe that I know the CMA audience will love. Now today, we're presenting the pilot episode of The Rapscallion Agency, the second series in the Leviathan Chronicles universe. If you're new to the Leviathan Chronicles, you are in for a blast.

This series draws from the best traditions in adventure and science fiction literature, and features espionage, ancient secret societies, immortals, a city at the bottom of the sea, and maybe even an alien or two.

And before we kick off the episode, we have the two creators themselves, Krzysztof Liputka and Robin Shore here in the Knightsville Workshop for the very first time to tell you a little bit about the show. Let's talk a little bit about how we got here. Leviathan Chronicles premiered in 2008, right? It did. Tell me a little bit about this crazy journey.

Well, I started the idea of trying to do an audio drama when I started listening to a lot of patio books that were coming out by authors that were releasing one chapter of their work a week and kind of taking a Dickensian approach to their work. And it seemed like an evolution from what audio books were.

And in listening, they were so compelling, but I felt like there was something missing. There should be sound effects. There should be active soundscapes that weren't there. And so I tried to figure out how can I tell stories, but make them come more alive in the headphones. And I was incredibly fortunate to meet Robin Shore, who was one of the owners of Silver Sound Studios and really helped me create

the vision for Leviathan Chronicles. Yeah, back in 2008, I was working at a sound studio in Manhattan, was just a couple years out of college, kind of trying to forge a path in post-production audio. I don't think when he presented this idea, either of us had really ever heard an audio drama. I'd gone to film school, so I was very familiar with Orson Welles,

and had to take classes where we constructed sound projects. I didn't have any firm reference, so he presented this idea and I was like, "Yeah, cool, I think we can do this." My goal was just to make

make something that felt like the movies I had grown up watching, but with no pictures. And that's really how Leviathan got started was two babes that didn't really know anything about audio drama, but wanted to tell the most visceral and cinematic stories that we could. Well, what was the origin of this world? Like, how did you create it?

I'm a huge scuba diver and one of the things that always fascinated me was the fact that we've had more people on the moon than we've had in the deepest parts of the Earth's ocean. And being an avid scuba diver, I was doing a cave dive at one point many years ago and I was in this chamber and I just thought,

who in the world has been in this spot? And if I were to expire in this room, who would ever find my body? And if this cave exists at 100 feet, imagine the caves that exist at 1,000, at 10,000, at 30,000 feet. And I think for any...

I think for any storyteller, the idea of an unknown space is a rich canvas to create stories. So I wanted to play with the idea of an unexplored part of the world, deep under the world's ocean, where we could really build a utopian society and explore what the nature of man really is. If

If we had a society where all of your needs were taken care of, would you soar to great heights of achievement, having all the time and resources to pursue your passions? Or would you become hedonistic and lazy and live off the fat of the land? And those are the questions we wanted to explore as we built out this universe of immortality, of aliens, and hidden places on Earth.

So tell me a little bit about how you decided to evolve the original Leviathan Chronicles into the Rapscallion Agency. Well, Leviathan is a three-season saga that goes over 50 episodes. And it's geared towards more of an adult audience. And some of the storylines are quite dark. And it was a deeply personal project. It...

I want to say this and the project spanned so many years and had a lot of dark themes in it. And we wanted to do something different with Rapscallion Agency. So after finishing Leviathan Chronicles, both Robin and I made the decision that we wanted to try something a little bit lighter. Yeah. And it took us a long time to finish Leviathan Chronicles. I think 2008 to what? 2000. We finished in 2020. Yeah.

And so we finished Leviathan, we were like, okay, what do we do next? Like, we've built up a little bit of a following, there seems like there's like an opportunity to do something here. And originally, we were both of the mind, like, we want to do something else, we want to tell a new story. And we realized very quickly that that wasn't going to get any traction, we kind of like pulled our fans and they're like, we don't want to listen to whatever comedy show you guys want to make, give us more Leviathan. Yeah.

And specifically the way Rapscallion came about was there was a thing called the IFP Marketplace in New York City. And if they accept your project, they will help you pitch it to development executives and people in the entertainment industry. And they had just started accepting podcast pitches there.

And we were like, this is great. We should pitch something to these people. But we realized that at the end of Leviathan Chronicles, we kind of had a scene with two characters from Leviathan that we could just sort of repackage as the start of a new series. The characters are named Cleric and Lissette. And at the end of Leviathan Chronicles, they kind of strike out on their own in Paris. And

operate as like a high-tech cyber security agency and we had one scene that was like the beginning of them doing that and we were like we're just going to take that scene and submit it as the pilot of an episode and we did that we made this pitch deck we were really jazzed about it and the IFP project rejected us um

But our hope was that we wanted to do something lighter in flavor. And so we took two of our youngest characters from Leviathan and we wanted that the theme we were trying to go with was a semester abroad meets Spy Caper and have a little bit more of a fun rom-com. And that was really the spirit behind Rapscallion Agency and how we went about it.

So we did a Kickstarter for it. We were lucky to get a good bit of funding and yeah, that's how it started. We made, we made a new 10 episode season and we were like, Hey, we really like doing this. This is getting even more traction. We should keep going. Let's what other spinoffs we got up our sleeve. That's amazing. Uh,

Well, the show is super fun, I think. But my favorite scene is breaking and entering into the apartment going wrong and the gun going off. And maybe I'm spoiling too much for our audience. But yeah, the fish tank is my favorite bit. We love doing that. We had a lot of fun with that scene. Well, first of all, is there going to be a second season of Rapscallion? Yes, there is. Yes.

We are, at this point, continuing to make multiple seasons of the spinoffs that are coming out of Leviathan. And those are going to help set up some of the plot points and establish new characters that we're going to be using when we actually return to the Leviathan Chronicles story, which is going to be a few seasons ahead of where we are now.

But our next project is going to be called the Invenios Expeditions, where in Rapscallion, we took two of our youngest characters, Lissette and Clerican, and sent them to Paris to start their own cybersecurity firm. In the Invenios Expeditions, we're actually taking two of our older characters, Tully and Oberlin, that were treasure hunters in Leviathan, and letting them have their own adventures on the high seas. And that's really the spirit behind the Invenios Expeditions.

I'm guessing there's probably a pretty cool submarine. There is a lot of submersible activity. We're calling this our return to the ocean. Well, when can audiences expect the Invenios expeditions to begin?

Well, we're in production here in Los Angeles right now. We've had a couple really great weeks working with a terrific new cast of voice talent. And we're so excited to bring these new stories to your headphones. And we're expecting to have our first episodes available towards the end of 2023.

Well, awesome, guys. Thank you, Christoph. Thank you, Robin, for letting us share your show with our audience here at Curious Matter Anthology. And for all you guys out there listening, get ready because it's time to sit down, find a nice cozy spot, and grab that bucket of popcorn, sit back, and listen to the first episode of The Rapscallion Agency. The Rapscallion Agency, a Leviathan Chronicles story. The Rapscallion Agency

Hello and welcome to France 12. I am Jacques Detherment. As the reports continue to arrive, the world is always trying to find answers to these questions.

Good morning and welcome to French 2 News. I'm Jacques Dethermont. As reports keep coming in, the world is still struggling to find answers regarding the extraordinary burst of radiation detected just beyond the Earth's atmosphere. Shut off the television. The world's too crazy. It's going to scare the baby. The baby isn't due for another five months, René. It can still hear what we're saying. Then tell me you love me. Now. Ha ha ha.

That's easy. I love you. I love you, Nathalie. I love you, I love you. Come on, get off. You'll miss your train. Oh, it's cool. Victor's giving me a ride to the train. Ugh, Victor. I just...

Just don't trust Victor. You know how hard it is to find work today? For anyone, but especially ex-cons. Nathalie, Victor's the person who got me this job at VTEC. A good job. Enough that we can save for the baby. Are you really sure you promise me?

I promise. This is a good job, Nathalie. Yeah, the commute is terrible, but I don't care if it helps our family. And in two years, you'll be able to apply for citizenship. You're dreaming again, René. It's so hard for Albanians in France right now. There are so many people trying to come across the border. I'll never get citizenship. No, I'm telling you, everything is going to be fine.

That's easy for you to say. You're French. Ah shit, that's Victor. Ma chérie, I have to go. René, come here! What? What? You know I'm running late. Give me your hand! What the... Oh, the baby! She moved! When did... Oh, just in the last few days. She was kicking up a storm yesterday. Oh my god, I can feel her. Our little Estella. Ah, fuck.

I've got to run. What time are you coming home? Around 6 p.m. No, 7. I promised Victor I'd help him with something. Hurry home. I miss you, Rene. I love you. I love you, too. Well, we missed the 7.30 a.m. It took too long saying au revoir to your young bride. Well, maybe if you weren't driving like a turtle after eating a turkey sandwich...

Hey, so what? We'll take the 743. We can still get to work on time. No, no, no. There's a strike at the Saint-Lazare station. I got an alert on my phone this morning. It's slowing down the whole RER. Didn't you see it? No. Oh, no. I guess I didn't see it. Hmm. What happened? Too busy trying for baby number two? You know she has to have the first baby before you can... Hey, shut up. Don't talk about her that way. It's not respectful. You talk that way to your très chic girlfriend? Huh? Uh...

Fashion flea? I don't know what she sees in you, man. Hey, take it easy. I was just kidding. Don't forget who's trying to get your wife moved up in the immigration queue. I'm just trying to make sure I don't get marked for coming in late again. They say I've been a bad boy and might fire me if I do it again. I think they're actually serious about it. How do they know you're late? They don't check my time card, Evitek. Do they check your cravat when you use the executive bathroom? Ah, the elegance. Piss off.

I'm not an executive, Victor. I compile databases. It's practically data entry. I don't work in the fancy executive tower like you, Rene. I have to clean out medical waste and garbage bins in the lab facility across campus. They make me punch in every morning. Besides, the stupid drugs that the doctor gave me for my anxiety make me sleepy.

I actually missed a day of work last month. No, I'm sorry, Vic. That's terrible, man. Hey, uh, before, when you mentioned Nathalie's immigration status, I thought you said you couldn't penetrate the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. I thought you said the crack was too hard. It is, but...

Maybe I know someone who can help. Sasha? No, Sasha's still in jail. No, I've heard the rumors on a Discord server about an American hacker. He's here in Paris. Good. Very good. Used to work with Sansword. Ugh. Now all those guys are busted or dead. Apparently this guy got away. Disappeared for a few years. I hear he might be good enough to spin the crack.

I'm starting a new life, Victor. I don't want to do any of that stuff anymore. So you want to go straight, but you also want to get your wife's citizenship. Damn right I do. Well, René, sounds like you have some serious choices to make.

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Find exclusive new episodes from shows like Civilized and Realms of Peril and Glory. Fable & Folly Plus. Sign up today at fableandfolly.com slash plus. Paris, France. Close your eyes. I'm telling you, they are closed. I hear a door. Are you going to carry me across the threshold? Could be romantic.

As usual, I don't know what you're talking about. I hear echoes. Are we in a cave? Oh, Lisette, is our new apartment in a French wine cave? Even better. Open your eyes, Clariken. Oh my god, Lisette! Wait, this is our apartment? This, this is our apartment. So what do you think? Do you like it? I like it. It's... it's incredible. It's...

It's like Downton Abbey ate a croissant. It's just stunning. Lissette, you did such an amazing job finding us a place to live. This place is just unreal. Welcome to Paris.

Lisette and Clurican were newly reunited in the City of Lights, the City of Love. They stood in a foyer inside an 18th century maisonette that was built to the baroque parameters of the age. The casement windows stood almost 10 feet tall and opened inwards to overlook the stately buildings of the 9th arrondissement. Oh wow, look at this place. 15-foot ceilings, a wrought iron balcony, man!

It feels like an apartment where you need to wear a white powdered wig. Well, you could try combing your hair for once. Ah, come on. I just got off a red eye. Wow, look at this foyer. It's incredible. It's bigger than my apartment in San Jose. I have to say, I rather like it myself. Come on, let me show you the other rooms. We have a lot of boxes to unpack.

We're ahead of you! Wait, Claire Kent! Wait for me! Holy cow, look at the bedroom! And this bathtub! We could have a party in it! Or a naval battle! Ooh, look at this! I guess I'll bring all the luggage inside! A few hours later...

And look at these ceilings and that chandelier! Wait, is this the salon? You mean another room where you get your hair done? Clariken, will you focus? You're like a spastic grasshopper. We need to unpack all these boxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming. But Lisette, you have to tell me, how much does this place cost? How can we afford it? We had a pretty limited startup budget. It's not costing us anything.

The apartment belongs to an old friend of mine that isn't using it and generously offered to loan it to us on one condition. Does this involve him having a night of passion with you? Maybe. Are you jealous, Clorkan? Maybe. Well, no, silly. We just have to take care of the bonsai tree in the foyer. Apparently it's worth a lot. Well, I say yes, because this place is amazing. Clorkan stopped in his tracks and stared deeply at Lisette, just before releasing a hint of a smile.

and kneeling cross-legged on the floor with his eyes closed. Um, Clerican? Why are you doing your cross-legged thing again? Come on, help me with these boxes. It's all your computer gear you shipped over. I'm taking a moment.

Well, take it while you unzip those power cords. Here. Ooh, I'm glad you found these. I can start putting together Excalibur. What the hell is Excalibur? It's my personal desktop computer rig. I custom designed it for compiling speed and to be the Fort Knox of data storage. Hey, can you open those boxes in the corner for me? Sure.

Why does all this stuff say "Property of White Egg"? Probably because I stole it. I thought stealing was my job. And I thought you were done with White Egg. Well, I never exactly told them I was leaving. What? You're joking! You never quit? Not formally. Oh, Clarican... Look, they were never going to let me leave, Lisette. Bailing fast and skipping the country was the only way out. If I had asked them to quit, they would have frozen my accounts and probably taken my passport.

Here, can you open that box? I think the motherboard is in there. Mm-hmm. Do you always use a butterfly knife to open boxes? I use it for other things, too. Of course you do. Clerican, aren't they going to look for you? You said you know way too much about what White Egg is up to. Is this the box with the monitors? Yeah, bring that over.

See if I can boot up this CPU I put together. So you don't think White Egg is looking for you? I'm betting not. Graphics card? Here. And why is that? A whole sand sword incident back when I was a teenager in Sunnyvale. I should never have gotten dragged into it.

Most of the hacking we did was just low-level cracks. Some website defacements and some watering hole attacks. Just for fun and practice, really. So what happened? Well, one day our group put together a high-dev team for a really hairy embedded Trojan malware attack on some DoD servers. Can you grab those adapters on the chair? Sure. Here's the adapters. So the crack went south and we all got torched and busted by the FBI. Oh my god, Clerican, that's terrible. But...

What does any of this have to do with white egg? I'll show you. Throw me that extra long power cord over there. Here. Thanks. Okay, moment of truth. Let's boot this up. Okay... Come on, come on... Yes! What? What are you showing me? Come here, look at this. See that file? It's an icon of a skull and crow's bones? It's the encrypted file I accidentally downloaded when we hacked the DoD. Here, take a look.

Oh my god, is this what I think it is? This is what is going to keep us safe from White Egg. Oh, put a target on your back! Where did you get this? When Sansor did the Department of Defense hack, I ran a slipworm program to trick the servers into copying themselves to Excalibur, locking it into an encrypted vault. No one could get it, except me. What happened after the Feds grabbed you and the Sansor team? Dr. Jeffrey Jacobs, some high-level guy from White Egg, came in.

and told me that I would have to make a choice that would affect the rest of my life. They knew I had this file tying White Egg to a secret government program to use AI to spy on US citizens, so they gave me a choice: join White Egg and have my identity scrubbed, or they give me back to the feds and I spend the next 20 years in jail. So that's why you joined White Egg.

What ever happened to Sansold? I never heard from them again. Most of the guys are still in jail. But actually, I think one of the old crew is living in Paris. Arty Kim, codename Raptor. The feds never caught him. Rumor has it he's living in a firehouse. That's strange, no? He was always one of those people who could disappear when he wants to. But I think I know how to find him. What about White Egg? Are they going to come after you? Not sure. I bet they'll know I'm in Paris soon enough.

Hey, how are you René? I'm fine Victor.

What are you doing in the lobby? I thought we were meeting at Pierre's Café. You said you needed my help with something? Yeah, yeah. Maybe we can talk about it upstairs in your office. You know I don't have an office, Victor. I share a cubicle with a flatulent American who eats sunflower seeds all day long.

Come on, let's go to Pierre's and get a glass of wine. The help I need, René, is... Upstairs, in your office building. What are you talking about? Upstairs. The elevator bank behind you. What do you mean? Are you serious?

You know, I work in a secure area. I could lose my job, Victor. I can't bring any people to my floor. You know that. Well, maybe not your floor, but you can get me into the elevator bank and we can make a quick stop on another floor where... Are you crazy?

They'll fire me. They'll fire both of us. Those are restricted areas. I thought you were done with this, Victor. No more hacking. I need five minutes, that's all. It's not what you think, Rene. I'm trying to keep my job, not lose it. You can take me inside as your guest. Your employee pass can get us onto the elevator and to any floor in the building. No way. No way I'm helping you. This is illegal. I'm not going back to prison. No, no, no, Rene. Listen. No, you listen. It's over, Victor.

I'm starting a family now. I'm done with all this. Look, I wouldn't ask, but I work in a different building. I can't get clean access to the servers without... Without what? Me jeopardizing my job? And who got you this job, eh? Who covered up your police file so you could get a job this good at a big pharmaceutical company? Nice corporate gig. How much are you making, Rene? Enough to not jeopardize my family. My job is so... What about my job? How about helping me for once? I told you.

I was late too many times. It's the stupid meds. I just need to change the timestamps on my personnel record before my monthly review. I'm not contracting, I swear. This is just for me. Just to save my job. Please, Rene. I helped you when you came out of prison. Come on, Victor. This isn't fair, man.

You know that I can't... You know what's not fair? The authorities learning that your wife is here legally. It would be a shame if your wife got deported right before the baby is born. Stop it! Natalie will pass her citizenship test and be French, and so will the baby. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. But, René, I promise you, promise you, that if you help me, I know someone that can make it a certainty.

Please, all I'm asking is that you help me keep my job. Five minutes. Just get me up and down that elevator. That's it. If I lose my job as a janitor with a record like mine, where do I go from here? Please, René. René stared at Victor and saw the tired desperation on his face. Fine. This last time, Victor. But we wait. We let the building empty out for the evening. I'll tell Natalie I'm not coming home for dinner. I'm sorry.

No, Harlequin, I'm fine. Yes, we're fine. No, I don't need any help. That's a very inappropriate question. And no, I don't need anything, especially not that. Yes, yes, I appreciate you calling. Yes, yes. Look, I have to go. I'm serious, I have to go. Yes, I'll call you later, okay? Goodbye, I'm going.

Told you I gotta go! Miss you too, bye! Bye now, bye. Look, I know Harlequin drives you crazy, but it's nice that he called you. It's not the same.

I've wanted to get out of Harlequin's shadow. I'm tired of him always telling me what to do. He's not my father. Well, not my real father. But he's been treating me like I was ten years old since... Since you were ten years old? Exactly. We lived here in Paris for a few years after he adopted me. But it was always my city more than his. Well, he's not here anymore. It's just you and me this time. And I think I'm gonna really like your city, Lisette. Mm-hmm.

Oh no! Don't say that! I'm so tired of hearing Americans say that. Come on, we still have more unpacking to do. And we can't start a company on... kisses! We could try.

No, Claricum, seriously, we have to get the last boxes unpacked. Hey, are we doing this? Mm-hmm. I mean, are we really doing this? Damn right we are. I know we can do this. We'll be the best cyber security firm in Europe. Assuming we can find some clients. Of course we will. With you behind the keyboard and me in the field, who wouldn't want to hire us? You know what this calls for? What's that? Some fresh bread and cheese. And champagne. I say hell yes, Lisette.

Or wait, uh, hell, we. Ah, real bread from Paris! At last! French flour, no yeast, baked this morning. Mmm!

It's the best in Europe. It's one of the things I miss most about my city. Well, let's break it out. Should I... No, no, Jacques left the cupboards empty because I didn't know what day would be arriving. Can you run downstairs and pick up some? I think there's a place on Rue Galilée. I need to stay here just in case the electrician shows up. I could stay and you could go if you want. Walk in that bakery, get that fresh bread smell. This is a very generous offer.

You don't speak French and the electrician might be a little hard. Good point, good point. But I'm gonna work on that. So, okay, bread and champagne. I can do that. So just go outside and turn left to... And clerican, try to get a pain de campagne and a ficelle. Are those champagnes? No, they're breads, mon petit lapin. Got it, okay. This is gonna be fun. Definitely fun. Ah, Paris!

Chlorican walked down the steps of the Maisonette, taking a brief moment to appreciate the warm September air. He smiled, feeling the gentle heat on the back of his neck. And if he closed his eyes, he imagined he might smell the scent of cut flowers, fresh bread, and perfume. Sunlight poured through the honey locust trees that lined the cobblestone boulevard, forcing Chlorican to unfold his sunglasses, and after checking the GPS on his phone, he headed north towards the 18th arrondissement. Maybe if I try Apple Maps.

Oh, hey, man! Sorry. Sorry. I didn't see-- Sorry. I'm new in town. These bike lanes, man. Oh, God! Look out for that car! Holy crap.

Dude, I think your wheel might be in that tree. I think I'll, uh, just leave you guys to it. I'm loving this place. Korkhan could feel the vivacious energy of the city. Paris, the city of artists, lovers and thinkers for centuries.

He walked for another 20 minutes along the tight sidewalks, admiring the zinc-clad buildings and tiny stores, as well as the fashion of the passing creatures. A faded wooden sign that said Boulangerie caught Clarkin's eye. A papier-mâché baguette hung below the awning, and three black metal tables sat outside the store.

As Clark Kent approached, a full palette of pastel colors erupted under a small sign in the case that read: "Macaron." Pale pink, lavender,

You wanted to know how your own cash register works? I understand, but it's a new system, so let me just restart the cash register so I can accept the payment.

Hello? Bonne jour? Just one second! Yes, how can I help you? So, hey, uh...

Ooh, yeah. What kind of bread do you guys have here? We have French bread. Read the sign. Yeah, the sign is in French. Because this is France. Yeah, yeah, I get that. I guess I'll start with one of those croissants. Hey, what was that guy's problem? Oh, he's in a rush. Everyone is in a rush these days. No time. Always a screen to look at. Just sad. Yeah, but...

But that's no reason to get so upset. It's this new register and this stupid touch screen. I just can't seem to get it to work. You know, I'm not terrible with computers. I'd be happy to... They're ready. Excuse me a moment. Oh, wow, that smell... Your shop smells amazing. It's like firewood, toast and a little vanilla and cinnamon. It's the Chausson au Pomme. They just came out of the oven. Here, try one.

Mmm. Mmm. Wow. You know, you have a very good nose. Thanks. When I was growing up, my uncle, who was a chef, would bring over these amazing dishes to our house. He used to say that to really appreciate food, you had to slow down to taste it deeply. A wise man, your uncle. One cannot think well, love well, or sleep well if one has not dined well. Ah, Gertrude Stein. Virginia Woolf.

But it's nice to see you have a gourmand tradition. Well, like I said, it was mostly my uncle. How about you? Is your family all bakers? No, no. Just my husband and I. Sounds like a family business. I wish it still was. I have a son, Pierre, but he doesn't love baking. He's only interested in flirting with female costumers. I see.

Sorry to hear that. Pierre is trying to help me deliver more bread to the other neighborhoods, but it takes me away from the store too long. I don't want to chase my costumer all over Paris. There are actually some really good apps now that could make it pretty easy for people to order bread from you.

Why would they do that? They lose the mouth-watering smell of a bakery, that sense of walking in and knowing that everything was baked by hand. You lose all of that when your bread just shows up in a van. Here, try this.

Mmm, I think I see what you mean. I mean, I taste what you mean. Ah, I think you already know more about bread than myself. So, you think you can fix this storage touchscreen? I can't make any sales. Sure, I can take a look. You know, a lot of these new point-of-sale systems don't play well with legacy hardware. Do you mind if I... By all means. Thanks. I, uh... Well, let's take a look here. No, that's okay.

Sometimes if you have Bluetooth on it can pick up and pair with other devices so... Oh, I see. Yeah, I think I see the problem. You need to do a software update so that... Well, here I can show you. See this little icon here? I can barely see it without my glasses. Well, this just means that the latest and greatest software was released so your touchscreen might work a little better.

There, try it again. Hey, it's not frozen! You fixed it! Thank you, my friend. I'm glad to be of help. Well, I'm very appreciative. So then, what kind of bread are you looking for, mon jeune homme? Oh, well, my girlfriend sent me to get some bread. Bread and champagne, actually. And I think she said... What was it?

Maybe some fusilli or facsimile? Ah, ficelle! It's like a baguette. Your girlfriend, she's French, yes? Oh yeah, very. Then you must also bring her this. A whole wheat levion and a box of macarons. From a recipe my husband brought from Nice. Remember, hell half, no fury, like a woman starved. Certainly sounds like you've met my girlfriend. Yeah, these look great. I'll take all of them.

How much do I... No, no. Compliment de la maison. Small gift for helping keep my little business running. Now I have a little tech support. Oh, no, no, no, no. I couldn't. Please. No, no, no, no. I insist. Well, thank you. Merci. I really appreciate it, Mrs... Madame Isabelle Dubois. And you are? Clerican. Just...

Well, Monsieur Clerican, enchanté. I hope I get to see you again. Well, if this bread tastes as good as your store smells, I think you'll be seeing a lot more of us. I hope so. And if you buy champagne, go to Monsieur Jean Bouchy's shop on Rue Bechel. Ask him for his recommendation for a good Cremon. Wow.

I'll do that. Thank you for the tip and for the bread. I'll bring my girlfriend in next time. I hope so, Monsieur Clurican. Merci beaucoup. Au revoir. Yes, thank you. See you soon and au revoir. Clurican, you forgot something. Oh? Your chausson aux pommes. Your apple turnover.

- Ninth floor, doors opening. - Later that night at the VATEC headquarters. - Okay, we're here. What's on this floor, Victor? - They have these servers that cover all the major departments at VATEC, including human resources. - Five minutes, Victor, then I'm leaving. - I'll be done in three. - You know they have cameras everywhere, especially around the servers. - That's why I have this. - What the hell is that? It looks like a rubber frog with two cigarettes sticking out of its ass. - Custom hardware scrambles the camera videos.

It doesn't cut the feed, which would trigger alarms. It just creates a lot of static. That's a nice piece of kit. What else does it do? It has other tricks. How do you make that? I didn't. What? Well, then who... Rene, just stay here by the elevator. I'll be back in under five minutes. Keep the elevator ready and we'll be out of here in no time. Victor turned towards the first keypad locked door at the end of the corridor. Victor, what? This is for your job, right? Yes, Rene.

This is for my job, I promise. I promise. Victor ran to the door and knelt on one knee. He removed a jewelered screwdriver from his backpack, along with a laptop with two wire leads hanging from it. Let's get you acquainted with my little friend. A few more seconds... There! Voila! I mean, rats. Must be one of the bio-labs. Where's the terminal? Ah!

Victor sprinted to a terminal at the far end of the room. All right, my sweet little server, get ready to meet your new boyfriend. And placed the strange device on the table beside him. Let's first bypass your login process. Now, let's get access to the terminal line and list your route to... As his fingertips raced across the keyboard, rows of code scrolled rapidly across the screen as Victor's eyes scanned urgently for the very specific, very hidden, very protected piece of information he was searching for. There! Oh my...

It's incredible! My god, they actually did it! Its location is on the campus. If I can grab it, if I can bring it to her, then... Security alert! Security alert! Shit! The alarms! Security alert!

Rene! Rene, get the elevator! We've got to move! We've got to get out of here! Come on! Come on! What the hell did you do, Victor? There's alarms going off all over the entire building! Shut up, Rene! We've got to get out of here now! Hurry! Come on! Get in the elevator! Oh, damn it, Victor! What did you do? This wasn't supposed to happen! The alarms were supposed to be handled! Oh my God! Oh my God! They're going to find us! They're going to put us in jail again! Oh my God! Hurry! We've got to get out of the building! Damn it!

What did you do, Victor? What did you steal? I didn't steal anything. Quick, hit the service level. We'll take the elevator to the base. Come on, come on.

Damn it, the buttons won't work! Lose your ID card! I am using my ID, you idiot! The damn doors won't close! Son, we're losing time! What were you trying to steal, Victor? It was a chip. A computer chip. What kind of chip? One that changes everything! What the hell are you talking about? You don't understand. Shut up! It's your fault, Victor. I never should have trusted you. I never should... Doors closing. Elevator going down. You did it! Yes, Renée. Get us to the underground level. I can get us out from there. Renée!

Did you hit the basement level? Renee! We're going down too fast. Something is wrong. Is that happening? Rene!

Victor! Oh shit! Look! I think you got off on the wrong floor, my friend. It's him! Who is this? Monsieur Murdock. The cyborg! The cyborg?

What the hell are you talking about? This is the end. Peeking eyes will always tell lies. The man removed his left glove to reveal a gleaming silver hand. Victor, his hand! It's...

It's metal! Murdock swiftly leapt into the elevator cab and viciously gripped Grenet's neck. Let him go! Let him go, you freak! Your friend can live if you give me back what you stole. I didn't steal anything. Let him go! As you wish. Murdock flexed his left bicep, shooting a dull gray blade out of his forearm. What are you... No! No!

Two thieves lie dead from misbeliefs. Bastard! Freak! You killed him! The man moved towards Victor to block his escape through the elevator doors. Not yet, Victor. Uh-uh. The cheap...

Give me the chip you stole from us. I told you I don't have it, you're crazy! Victor threw his fist at Murdock's face, but the man absorbed the blow easily, answering with a sharp jab. You bastard! We don't allow rats to live with stolen cheese. Murdock lunged to drive the blade into Victor's stomach, but Victor twisted left just in time for Murdock's arm to pass by him, driving instead into the wall of the elevator cab, immobilizing the blade into a tangle of metal.

Victor spun behind him and fired a desperate kick to the man's groin, causing him to inhale sharply in pain. "Oh, Elor, I'll kill you, you piece of-" And as Merodok turned, his face registered genuine surprise as Victor stood outside the elevator door. "Go to hell!" He held the black device with two antennas. "You damn freak!" Victor pressed the button for the lowest level. "Doors closing. Elevator going down." And watched the elevator door slam shut.

Victor swiped his hand across his drenched face as he picked up his backpack and sprinted down the hallway of the VATEC executive tower, frantically trying to find the most expeditious route of escape. Damn, damn, damn, oh shit! Oh god, oh god, oh god, nay! Damn it! I've got to get out of here! I've got to move! Oh god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! No, no, no, no, she's going to kill me! She's going to kill me! They knew! How did they know?

Yes? Do you have it? No. No, I wasn't able to get it. We had an agreement. Yes, I know we did, but there were complications. That's disappointing. But I know where it is now. I located it and I saw the reports. It's true. They did it. They created the successful prototype and I can find it. Then why don't you have it? I got burned. I

I just need more time. You don't have time. Neither does she. Look, I can't go back to Vatek. They'll spot me. I don't have the cover of my job anymore. And my friend that I set up...

You should have seen what they did to him. I hear excuses. No, no. It's just the facial recognition software will pick me up as soon as I walk into the lobby. I can't get access to the VATEC campus anymore. I won't be able to meet our deadline. It will be this, please. No, no, please. I can fix this. I can still get the chip. How? I think I know someone else who can steal it for us. Whether they want to or not.

Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

The Ravskalian Agency was executive produced by Amish Janik, produced and mixed by Robin Shore, produced by Claire Dodin and Kim Donovan, casting by Claire Dodin and Kim Donovan, original music by Luke Allen, editing and sound design by Luke Allen and Robin Shore, directed by Christophe Lepoutka.

Starring Claire Daudin as Lisette Mazabile, Todd Haberkorn as Clorican, Gary Amaniak as Monsieur Mérodac, Christian Roman as Victor, Jean-Michel Richaud as René, Laura Post as Nathalie, Cookie Castelli as Isabelle Dubois. Narrated by Benoit Monin. Additional voices by David Duclos, Bruno Stéphane and Sarah Molo. For a full cast list, go to rapscallionagency.com.

To learn more about our other audio drama podcasts, go to leviathanaudioproductions.com or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to get the latest news and behind-the-scenes footage. Thank you for supporting Leviathan Audio Productions, and thank you for listening to The Rapscallion Agency. Leviathan Audio Production. The Fable & Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Dum Dums and Dice would like to welcome you to the grim darkness of the 41st millennium in The Valentine Heresy, an actual play podcast set in the Genesis adaptation of Warhammer 40,000's Dark Heresy RPG.

Newly promoted Inquisitor Lucius Valentine has received visions of the death of the immortal God Emperor. With few options before him, he teams up with hive-bred criminal siblings Lyric and Alto. Together, they must defeat a cabal of shadowy foes to save the Emperor and the Imperium. Can this trio of unlikely heroes survive in a galaxy where there is only war?

The Emperor is going to die in a year. My job is to make sure the Emperor doesn't die. Because if the Emperor dies, the Astronomicon goes out. And the only thing keeping the Imperium alive is the fact that we have a very large navy and a very large army and space marines, and they shoot everyone. It's delightful. Praise the Emperor. Thanks for that. But if the Astronomicon goes out, we have no navy.

We have no ability to defend ourselves. And the Xenos and Chaos will overrun us instantly because there will be no defense. So every planet will turn out like Galen's glory? And that would be the best case scenario, which is why...

We need to keep the emperor on his throne. I spit in my palm and put my hand out for a handshake. Am I supposed to do something in return? Sorry, I just don't know what this is. Alto's like, yeah, like this. He spits in his hand and puts it out towards you as well. Then I spit in both palms and shake their hands separately. We have an inquisitorial band. Warhammer 40,000, The Valentine Heresy. Available now.