Love, Life, and Liquor
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I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

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Hello, lady. Hello, lady. I'm Saeed Jones. And I'm Zach Stafford. And you are listening to Vibe Check. Vibe Check.

This week, we are talking about a deadly incident in Chicago that has us questioning men and more essentially like patriarchy, right? Like the real shit behind all the other shit in our lives. But also, you know, look, this holiday weekend is coming up. And I just personally wanted to ask,

Where did all the cookouts go? Where are they? Where did they go? Before we get into all of that and even do our vibe checks, we want to send our love, our deep love to our friend Sam. Those of you who've been following along may know that Sam lost his mother recently and is with family in San Antonio. And our thoughts, our warmth, our grace are with him and his loved ones. Yeah, we're just really thinking about our sister and

Just hoping she's doing well. We talk to her often and she is doing well. And we're just so, I mean, the thing about Sam that you all probably know is that she is the strongest girl we know. It is really something. And we just are really so glad she's able to be with family this week. So we miss her. We can't wait for her to return. But until then, we want all of you to be sending positive vibes her way.

And I saw Sam, because Sam posted the obituary for his mother, which is beautiful on Twitter, if you would like to read it. And I know he also said, you know, let this be an opportunity for me to encourage all of you to hug someone you love. So make sure you do that today if you can. But Zach, beyond that, what's your vibe? A lot of...

A lot has happened since our last... A lot has happened. I'm full, maybe too full. Like, too full from love, life, and liquor, like, altogether. I'm in LA. I'm back. You are not back yet. But as you all know, we were in Boston and New York City for our live shows, and it was just...

i don't know we had that many friends in boston so i'm just sure huge in boston i had so much trauma from going to boston so many years of all the anti-blackness racism and all that but now i'm healed i love boston boston's my girl

We had a wonderful time. We had a wonderful time. Made some friends, went out. Yeah? Probably should now. So that's the thing. That's why I wanted to bring up Boston. We probably should have just gone to bed. We should have gone to bed because I'm still hungover from Thursday. It is now Tuesday. I'm hungover since Thursday. So I'm just wanting to take a break from drinking. I love Pride, but I'm too proud now. I want to go to bed. I can't wait for it to no longer be this grim. Your Pride has transitioned fully into hubris.

yeah hubris huge yeah yeah i guess my my vibe is similar and of course zach and i have really been just traveling trains planes automobiles together for the last week or so yeah last week was a wonderful but wonderfully busy week i did a book event in pittsburgh by myself to talk about poetry and memoir writing with actually it was the folks at duolingo they invited me in for it's like a fireside chat with sy jones so i was like okay

And then, yeah, and then I flew to Boston to meet you and that show. Yeah, and that was our first live show, which is always intimidating, but sold out. We signed... Oh, we don't have merch yet. So we just have like vibe jet stickers. So we signed stickers for, I believe, just under two hours, which is pretty astounding. But yeah, it was so wonderful. And then, yeah, New York. I mean, and it's just...

You know, you know you have friends and people you know who personally want to come out and support you, and that's always great. But I think it's – I'm still – you know, for everything that I've gotten to experience at this point in my career as an author, I'm just always –

to walk onto a stage and then look out and just see a full house of strangers, of people who I don't know who decided to make time to invest their time, their money. You know, there's so many. Look, it's Pride Weekend in New York City, for example, right? And it's like on a Friday night, you've come to a live podcast recording. Wow. That is love. Yeah.

It was really, it was like overwhelming at times because you know, we all grow up as people in this world who struggle to find love that feels good. You know, being queer, being black, being all these things. So to step on stages and have so much love that feels good is overwhelming. And to have people travel to you. We met people who flew in from California to Boston to see the show. People come down from Maine. My little sister who's in San Francisco flew and surprised me in New York and I found out

on stage. She was texting me earlier in the day. She was like, I know Zach really likes to plan. So how do we... I do love to plan.

And she knows stories like surprises in the past haven't gone so well for me. I'm a bit too like obsessed with why didn't I know and how am I just not finding out. Not you trying to do an investigative report. I'm like, how did you do this? And then I start looking into every conversation I had and be like, oh, you were lying to me, Craig. I see what you were doing. Oh my goodness. Oh God. But it was a fun surprise. This was, but it was just so much love.

It was great. So much love. And listeners, if you weren't able to be in New York City, it's okay. That show will actually air next week. So you'll be able to hear that. I'm going to say while we're at the cookout and stuff, but it's entirely possible that Zach and I use the holiday just to nap. But you can listen to our 90 Seconds Streetwise show then. Yeah. And I will say it is...

chaos. It is holding heights of chaos in person because we have an audience giving us real-time feedback. It was a very hype audience.

everyone had their little cups of wine and yeah we were yeah and what i will say is there was no chantelle to texas in the middle of this oh yeah we gotta move on don't do that using the clock i was really trying to i had all the little time stamps but we were just like fully unleashed out there we were unleashed and then pinbatchly it's just you know i've gotten a sense of

know via kind of research and and just being a fan myself that he is someone with something to say so i knew that but i think i left the conversation with pin going like 10 minutes longer than yeah we originally planned just because it was so good and i mean at one point i think i joked i was like look y'all i almost said amen earnestly in response to something i was

And I was like, reel it in, Saeed. Reel it in. I mean, this man was quoting bell hooks accurately on stage. In detail. I mean, in detail. It was really something. So he is smart. He does his reading. He is allyship kind of manifested. And he's not too bad to look at. So definitely listen to that episode next week. That'll be fun.

All right. Well, before we get into this episode, we want to thank all of you who have sent us fan mail or reached out to us on social media. We absolutely love reading your messages. And also, if you have pictures from the event, please send them to us. We love looking at those. Oh, yeah. I love that. I love that. Well, with that, let's jump into our actual show and get to this week's other chaos that we need to talk about. Take a deep breath and dive on in. Here we go.

All right, so first today, we're going to talk about a story that emerged over the weekend out of Chicago involving Carlicia Hood and her son. So here are the facts, and then we're going to dive into what all of this means and how we're kind of thinking about this video. So over the weekend, a mother and her son were facing murder charges after Claricia Hood allegedly encouraged her 14-year-old son to repeatedly shoot a man. His name is Jeremy Brown. After he attacked her while she was waiting in line for food,

on the South side of Chicago Brown was shot twice by her son who Clarisha did text and say come in to help her because she was being violently attacked if you watch the video it's so hard to watch it's incredibly disturbing the man involved I accidentally watched the video I don't know if I would have watched it otherwise but he like fully kind of winds up his arm and punches her I mean just

Full force in the head. I'm really grateful she's okay. And then does it again. Does it twice. I mean, it's astoundingly violent. And because it is a restaurant, they have multiple views, and her son was at the door watching this happen. So imagine 14 watching her mother being hit by a man in a restaurant. And I know you may be thinking, it must have been empty. They must have been by themselves. Yeah.

They were not. There were lots of men, grown men, watching this happen who even moved out of the way to let it continue to happen. - Moved out of the way to let this man come and begin to accost her. It is, it's astounding. - It's really something. - I know I've said that word several times, but really, I just, it's shocking to see, even just beyond the facts, you know? - Yeah, and so what you should also know is that the mother did have a license to carry card and a FOID card, so she had all the right cards to prove that that gun in her car was hers.

And even with that, when the police arrived, the five officers that arrived, they arrested her and charged her and her son immediately and held them on bonds that were millions and millions and millions of dollars. After these charges made the news and the video started going viral, the state's attorney, Kim Fox, announced that she was dropping the charges due to insufficient evidence to really hold murder charges, which are huge charges to put onto somebody.

Carlisha and her son were immediately released, and then just hours before we started taping the show, it was announced that she and her son would be suing and filed a lawsuit against the Chicago police and the five officers that arrested them. She said in her statement this morning, on June 18th of this year, my life changed, my son's life changed, never in a million years would I have imagined being brutally attacked, beaten, and then arrested. So, with all

With all that, let's start off with how we felt seeing the video. Saeed, you said you saw it on accident. What were your thoughts as you were watching this? Yeah, it was like late one night. I'm on my phone kind of scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. What's this? Click and then, oh my goodness. I guess as I mentioned, to me, there's kind of like circles and circles and circles of resonance with this tragic incident. But in addition to me just being shocked,

Before I really understood the context of watching this man, because he's basically the part that I saw. He's like, say one more thing. Say one more thing and I'm going to hit you. And she says something. And he just winds up and punches her and then punches her again full force. I mean, there's no incident in which hitting a woman, hitting another person is appropriate or okay. But I was just like, oh my God, he just...

Wailed on her but then because at least the angle of the video I saw I see at least four or five black men who from my perception look older Growner than me. I mean these are men who made me think of uncles older cousins You know grandfather that kind of age and the fact that it's very clear that they have moved out of the way To give him space. Yeah my first

honest thought when I saw the video and kind of put my phone down was I now understand I'm 37 years old. Every time in my life, a man like one of those men has accused me of being weak or being a coward. It is absolutely projection. It is absolutely projection. What cowardice? I just get to understand like from where the camera angle is and these men that somewhere behind the camera is a 14 year old son who

Not just watching his mother get brutally attacked, but watching men twice or three times his age not just complacently witness, but laugh along as this man's attacking his mother. So you know what I mean? So that was my first thought, just like, oh, we need to talk about cowardice and misogyny and its brutal consequences. Yeah, what about you? It's very similar. And when I first saw it, I didn't know that anyone had been shot.

What I thought had happened was a woman was in line with a bunch of men around her. Something happened and they let someone beat her up and that someone had tweeted, you know, I bet her son's going to go after that guy. And I was like, oh, this must be like a Twitter joke. Like, oh, you beat up. Someone needs to come after him. And then I started reading the articles. And what stunned me when I started reading the reporting from CBS Chicago, which is who broke the story, which I was colleagues when I live in Chicago with a lot of these reporters that worked on the story.

What stuck out to me was that she was texting her son to come in. And that broke my heart. Because that meant there was a lot of time that lapsed here. This wasn't like a 30 second thing. Oh, that's a good point. There's a lot of time and she knew she didn't have any allies in that room. That no one in that room was going to help her. That she had to... And looking around, these men, like the man that has been shot and died, he was 32 years old. She's 35. Everyone in that room looked their age or older. So we're dealing with grown folks.

As she's dealing with this incident with grown folks, she thinks, I need to call my four-tailed son from the car to grab the gun, come in and protect me because no one's going to come in here and do this. And it just really broke my heart that you can be in a community restaurant that you probably go to all the time.

and one thing go wrong and people don't step up to help you especially when you're a black woman and it just makes me think so much about you know as we're going to talk more about misogyny and gun rights in america maybe think about malcolm x a lot and malcolm x was very ardent about the most disrespected woman in america as a black woman and he would always point to so many examples of that in fact i think he says the most disrespected person person is a black woman woman

Right. Exactly. Yeah. So this clip for me just kind of really shows that in reality. It just broke my heart. And then once we got to she was immediately arrested, charged, all of these things. I was like, how, why are we doing this so fast? And that's what I mean. Like the circles and circles of resonance and compounding tragedy that is so often the case. I mean, to experience that.

that kind of violence and then immediately just you know because I've been in New York City for the last few days I mean you know just on the street on the subway the moment I see a cop at this point I know my pulse increases so to put ourselves in her shoes for a moment like you've just been violently attacked

And imagine how upsetting it must be to be violently attacked in a room full of people who did not help you. Like that would be salt in the literal wounds. And then cops come sweeping in. And we know so often a cop just walking into the same space as a black person can very quickly become another fatal incident. It's just, there's just so much. And then also just like the way in which...

this mother and son having those charges dropped is probably very much related to the community activist in Chicago videotaping it and making a point to put it on social media. Like that this kind of violence has to go viral in order for justice. You know, I don't know. There's something there that freaks me out too.

Yeah, yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot there. But something you've been talking to me a lot about, I think this helps kind of widen the aperture a bit, is this bigger question that people may be asking themselves, which is why didn't you just call the police? You know, you get hit. Why don't you run to the police? And we know that black people, especially black women in certain parts of town, don't feel like they can because things may not go their way. Saeed, I feel like you have an example just recently of an incident where a parent called the police and it didn't go their way.

Right. And this is from an NPR article, May 26, 2023. Listeners, some of you might remember this. I'll just read a couple of paragraphs.

A Darian Murray, age 11, called 911 for help at his home in Indiola, Mississippi. But after police arrived, an officer shot him in the chest. The boy is recovering, but his family is asking for answers, and they want the officer involved to be fired. Again, this is from late May, so I'm sure there are some updates since then. But the next paragraph is just...

Adarian's mother, Nicola Murray, says she told her son to call her mother and the police after the father of one of her other children appeared at their house in the early hours of Saturday, May 20th. She was concerned for her safety, Murray said. But when police arrived, things went terribly wrong. An officer ordered people out of the home and then shot Adarian.

11 year old a darian murray after he left his room and a darian apparently later said to his mother why did they shoot me what did i do before he started crying so yeah it's important we wanted to make it clear that we're not just talking about one incident something that happened in south side chicago there's a broader phenomenon it doesn't feel that there's a coincidence of these stories in which women mothers are being attacked

And the mothers know, essentially, and the sons know that the only person that's going to be there is like 11-year-old boy, 14-year-old boy. You know what I mean? And yeah, and so in the children. And so in this case in Mississippi, you're right. And again, it underscores something that all black people understand that –

calling the police, it's not something we can count on. It's a very, imagine how scared a black mother in Mississippi has to be to decide to call the cops in the early hours of a Saturday morning, you know? Yeah, it's just something. And it's also, you know, before we close, I want to bring up an ongoing conversation people have around the Second Amendment and gun rights. So there's been a lot of jokes on the internet that say, you know, if we really want to

curb gun access, you know, are more black people like make marketing material with black people holding it or have trans people hold guns. That was like a whole new cycle that the New York times even covered like trans people with guns.

However, with black people, America's literally built on denying access, legal access to guns for protection for black people. Before black people even had equal rights under the Constitution, the reason why they didn't want to give it to them, according to cases like Dred Scott versus Stanford in the 1800s, was because to give black people post-slavery full access to guns or the Second Amendment right,

would then mean that they were equal, full people under the law, and they were not willing to do that. Guns have always been the final straw for so many people in the government from making black people real people in this country. Even so much that Malcolm X, that's why he was obsessed with guns. Ida B. Wells, the journalist who covered lynchings, she also said guns were the only way to stop lynchings. And even Martin Luther King himself, after his house was firebombed, wanted to get guns.

we here at Vibe Check do not think everyone should be getting guns. That's not what we're trying to say here. But what's interesting in these cases, when you look at this case with the Hood family versus the Jordan Neely case with the Marine, who literally walked free forever after killing someone on camera, is that whenever black people have any access to something that

protects them from intra-community violence, federal violence, whatever, they're immediately thrown into prison or jails, and then maybe they are set free. White people in America are allowed to stand your ground, but Black women especially are not. And that's why we really wanted to show this case is because it really illuminates, like, she did everything right in the situation, and then when things became deadly force, which is what he used against her and could have killed her, she then responded with deadly force to protect herself. And even then, the state was like...

you're going to jail. Sorry. I also want to say, okay, first of all, historian Carol Anderson has a book called The Second that, to Zach's point, really illuminates the relationship between the Second Amendment and anti-Blackness in this country. And like Zach's pointing out, it's not a coincidence, and it goes basically to the beginning of the Constitution being written. But also, again, I just want to say that

There's a scenario in which the other men in that room in Chicago, to take it back to the first case, there's a scenario in which...

They could have intervened. They could have. And look, it doesn't have to get to the point that someone swinging their arms and you're like, okay, well, you know, you could, of course, step in, speak up before it gets to that. This is an argument that kind of gets out of control. There's a scenario in which not only would they have been able to prevent violence against this woman, to prevent a child having to watch his mother get beaten and then make, you know, an irreparable decision. They also could have saved that man's life.

But instead, I think it's very clear that these men, and I think we all have to think about whether you identify or don't with the decisions they made. They were so aligned with patriarchy that they would rather step out of the way and laugh along with a man behaving in a way they agree with, even if it dooms him.

And that is how patriarchy dooms all of us. Yeah. And to really land the plane on that point, the big lie patriarchy has told us for centuries, since the beginning of time, is that men are in power because they protect women and children. Men need to run the state. They need to run everything because women and children need to be protected.

But what we know to be true, especially when you're a woman in this country, is men barely ever protect you, ever. They're really interested in protecting themselves. In this incident, that's the most glaring thing here is that if men had just protected a woman, they would have protected a fellow man, a community so much.

but they didn't and they let violence happen and what happens with violence is that violence begets violence and you know it spreads like a virus and that's what happened so we do feel so terrible that life was lost but we do think folks who are looking at this case can learn a lot about gender violence in the state and all this it just is really heartbreaking but we're glad that the mother and her son are out and able to try to imagine what life looks like moving forward from here yeah i wish them healing i wish them healing and for other people i mean you know if you've had

your own experiences with domestic violence and this kind of violence, even just hearing about these kinds of incidents can send you spinning too. So if this, if this has lit you up in a hurtful way, I want to acknowledge that as well and send you warmth. Yeah. Yeah. So much warmth. Well, with that, we're going to take a quick break, but stay tuned. We'll be right back with the cookout or where did the cookout go? Cause we're, we're just like, it's true. Cause after trauma, I'm like, I need comfort. I need some comfort food. So let's talk about it.

Sisters, ladies, when you think of summer, what feels to you quintessentially summer? I have an answer, but I want to hear from y'all. Festivals. Festivals? Yes.

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This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are Black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging Black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.

I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, We Are Golden.

Here's an HIV pill dilemma for you. Picture the scene. There's a rooftop sunset with fairy lights and you're vibing with friends. You remember you've got to take your HIV pill. Important, yes, but the fun moment is gone. Did you know there's a long-acting treatment option available? So catch the sunset and keep the party going. Visit pillfreehiv.com today to learn more. Brought to you by Veve Healthcare.

All right, we are back. And now we're going to talk about the cookout. Where have all the cookouts gone? Look, you know, Juneteenth, of course, was just a week or so ago. And Fourth of July is coming up. And it's so funny when I think about, you know, summer, you know, in my memory, the

cookout, the smell of barbecues, ooh baby, a hot dog in my hands, you know, is such an important part. But I realized, I was like, damn, it really is more of a memory now. It's not something that I see happening. I thought it was just me. I was like, look, I lived in New York, no one has a backyard in New York City, and then I'm living in Columbus, and seemingly everybody has a backyard, and the cookouts aren't happening. Zach, when's the last time you went to a legit cookout? Uncle back there on the grill.

we brought this up as kind of a joke because we're like, what are we doing for the holiday? You assume 4th of July cookouts. And I realized that I have not been to one in so long because I'm going to throw one on Sunday because my little brother and my sister are coming. And it was like the most obvious thing to do was like, okay, I need to find a place to grill because I have family together. That's what you do. And that's when I realized I fit with family a lot. I fly to Tennessee. I fly everywhere to see them. But no one

been cooking anymore. It has been this thing of why don't we come together in this way? Because when I was a kid, it happened so, so much. And why I remember this so well is that I'm obviously, as people know, a mixed baby of God. I don't know why I have to say of God, but I am a mixed person. Mixed baby of God? Is that a phrase? No. But, um...

Being mixed, you know, I have one parent that's black, one parent that's white. My mother is white. I love her so much. But she had a lot of anxiety, I think, going to my first black family event. She was the one white person that was like, please don't invite me to the cookout. Exactly. Yeah. I feel like on Twitter, that's a whole thing of white people being proverbially invited to the cookout. Exactly.

stay and she did love it and she got along with everyone but i just remember growing up and seeing so much harassment at black events this is like the 90s where you know we were really beginning to talk about interracial love and a new way you have you know wesley snipes's uh jungle fever coming out when you're saying content about mixed love and and don't come in here with that potato salad exactly i mean i don't think they let her bring any food actually you know

So I guess as I started thinking about it, my sense is that

that the cookouts, well, okay, two things. One, I think this might be a millennial and younger predicament. And I say that in the sense that I'm like, well, we don't have homes. Like to host a cookout, you know, because cookouts, it's like a tradition, you know, when I'm with my family back in Memphis, like I know exactly which family is probably most likely to host the cookout, all that kind of stuff. And so it's like, I think the idea of

enough of us having homes and having backyards and then like owning a grill, knowing how to grill. There's something, there's a relationship between the fact that it's less likely for millennials to own homes, to own property. But also, you know, grilling to me is a very, at least maybe this is just true in my family. I mean, on my dad's side of the family, like they would have like an annual barbecue contest.

that was i mean we're talking 12 people with i mean it was it was ruthless very competitive actually you know people would protect their recipes that whole thing so there's something about tradition also you know like it was at least in my family it was no small thing to know how to grill to be invited to come stand beside you know whoever your auntie your uncle whoever was grilling and for them to kind of show you what to do

Yeah. And so I don't know. It feels like there's been a rupture, a break, where that's just not happening for maybe a few reasons. I brought this up to a friend last night. I told them that we were doing this conversation. I was like, you know, and they're Black and queer. And I said, you know, Saeed and I are going to talk about how there are no more cookouts. And they were like, yeah, because we're all working too much. I was like, oh, that's so funny. Wait a minute now. I was like, oh.

huh? And then they begin, they're like, well, yeah, we work a lot. All of us have like different types of jobs, different schedules. And we obviously know black people have been working in this country for a long time. So that may not be particularly the case, but they were also like, things have gotten expensive too. Like I can't imagine buying all that food for people because like, especially with inflation now. So it feels like that. And they're also like, I live in an apartment where I can't grill. So there's all these larger factors coming into play that really block us from doing this, which I'm like,

When did that happen? And how did that happen right in front of our eyes that we went from all growing up in a community or spaces where we were coming together a lot? Sam has talked about this on the show, the third space, where people can come together outside of work and be together. But the cookout has... It's kind of like...

evidence that that has disappeared for some of us. Yeah, that's kind of interesting. So like the cookout, the block party, it's funny, I hadn't really thought of them as third spaces, but they are. And so maybe as those other versions of the third space are

are going away, the community organization, the church that you go to every week, then maybe just the kind of mindset of like cookouts being an important value part is just like not at the forefront of our mind. Yeah, not there. Well, what would you say, because now I'm in the mode of I'm going to have a cookout on Sunday. So what are things that you think for those that are listening that want to have a cookout? What makes a good cookout? What have you loved most about a cookout? What's kind of like the cookout thing to do? Well,

Well, I'll tell you. I make a pretty good burger. May I just say? Really? I was not expecting that. I make it at home by myself on my little George Foreman grill. Oh, my God. What do you put in this burger? I make a cute little bougie burger. One thing that I... I always change up the seasoning. I mean, obviously, you need salt and pepper and a few other... I like to get some of those barbecue seasonings that I like to use and try out. A little bit of cinnamon. I like having capers...

In my burger patties, sometimes I'll chop up sun-dried tomatoes and just mix it in to the burger patty. These are fancy-ass burgers. Wow. It's just a delight. I think they add kind of like a spark of flavor to the bites. Something I think is important but is often overlooked, good bread. Like bringing good bread.

Mm-hmm. Going a couple of notches up in price, I think actually makes a big difference. It makes a big difference from like sad little burgers and hot dogs. What about you? I totally agree with the burgers. I saw TikTok the other day that Hawaiian bread should be baked, which I didn't know. Did you know this? Oh, yeah. And that's the other thing. I put my buns on the grill. Like after the meat patties are done, I put them on a plate. And then I'm putting the buns right on there and let them soak up the juice and get a little warm and toasty. Yes. Yeah, that's important. Hoo!

would have guessed that Saeed would be giving cooking advice on vibe check I was not expecting any of this this is the only thing this is the only thing Chantel said people don't read the packages that's why they don't know about the Hawaiian buns needed to be toasted ha ha ha

True. True. Okay, so there's that thing. The other thing. Potato salad. I don't like potato salad. I don't like potato salad. But wait, can I tell you, did your family have a secret ingredient in their potato salad? No. Because the one that I've heard consistently from, like, Black friends and Puerto Rican friends especially is sugar. You put sugar in the potato salad. And that's what makes people like it. Yeah. That's, like, the secret to so much Black cuisine is putting sugar in it. Part of my family, I felt like one of the very few things we could agree upon was that

potato salad was maybe not so great really oh my god coleslaw that's another memory i have from cookouts i hate coleslaw i've hated coleslaw my entire life everybody else in my family i mean i think it's very southern very black southern dish i felt like coleslaw was actually a part of like almost every meal i'm like is it even count as greens anymore at the point that it's coleslaw but i hate coleslaw i've never and people like you haven't had my coleslaw it doesn't matter

That's the other thing at cookouts. When you say you don't like something, people will then say, you haven't had my ex. I am the exception. It's so bizarre. You're right. It's such a weird... What about for drinks? Kool-Aid. Red Kool-Aid, not purple.

Not purple, not blue. What are we, in middle school? No, we are adults. We pay taxes and rent, which is why we don't have backyards for our cookout. Red Kool-Aid, baby. And I better see enough sugar in there to make Oprah shake. Look, don't play with me and my Kool-Aid now. Gosh, now I have a craving for things that I can't have. Oh, man.

We can find it for you. Go to Harlem today. So, listeners, you should play back what we just did there because this is a big thing on TikTok right now. I asked Siyu Jones what his favorite flavor of Kool-Aid is. He responded, not with flavors, cherry, blueberry, anything. He responded with colors. That is the answer.

Red. And the way I say Kool-Aid, it's like, it's not even R-E-D. It's like there's an A in there. Ray-ed. Yeah. Ray-ed Kool-Aid. That accent comes out pretty quickly. It's...

So, those are some of our favorite things. But, you know, before we close this out, Saeed, you brought up a historical form of a party that I think is so cool. And I think if you're listening to this and you're like, yeah, I don't have the money to do this. Saeed Jones has an economical way to do a party. I have a solution for you, baby. And look, I tell you, black people are from the future. We're also from the past. So...

A social phenomenon that, at least in my experience, it's like early 20th century. When I would read about it, it might even show up in jazz at one point briefly. There's illusion. So I'm talking 1920s, 1930s. This is very Harlem. This is very Chicago. This is very Philadelphia. Black people would have something called rent parties.

And rent parties were, you're getting close to the end of the month. You need to make rent. You don't have the money. So you would throw a house party.

And you would, you know, inflation being what it is, it's probably the time like admission was probably 50 cents. But you would kind of charge everyone, you know, a little bit of money. And then you would use that money to pay your rent. And it would be these parties. I mean, you should Google it. Look it up. There are pictures and descriptions. It's really fun. Some of our favorite literary icons, you know, Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston. There are people who are like talking about rent parties everywhere.

I just think it is such a fun idea. And I don't know, like, what if you, I was like, what if we could bring it back? Let's bring back cookouts. Let's bring back rent parties. Because I was like, I don't know, you could kind of go back and forth between a group of friends. Maybe if there are six of you every other month, one of you just host the rent party. Yeah.

i just think it's a fun i love this i remember when i was living in chicago i would try to throw brunches um we call them black banji brunches but it was a brunch for black queer folks a lot of black queer cis men would come but if you were black and queer and you could come to it and i would almost go broke by doing these brunches in my early 20s because it can get so expensive and my hack was buying you know fried chicken from the store so you can buy a bunch of fried chicken pretty cheap but

But I now wish I would have charged cover because I could have really... Just a little. Just a little. Just a little. Because people... There are those people that come to cookouts or events and don't bring anything and take everything. And that really gets on my nerves. Yeah.

So I'm just like this, this idea of a rent party to, to just kind of give back, make it more equitable is really smart because I've, I've also been seeing people joke about, um, there was this one TikTok. It was an older person, black person posting about how they woke up. They want to have a cookout, but didn't have any food. So they'd turned on the grill and began calling friends saying, Hey, I got,

burger patties. I just don't have buns. If you come over, bring some buns and I'll make the burgers, but also you can bring some wine. And you then go through your list of friends and each have them bring one thing. You'd be like, oh, I got everything but red Kool-Aid. Can you pick up some red Kool-Aid? So it's just like, you know, doing, being inventive. Create the space, invite people and see what they bring. And that can be your cookout. Yeah. I just love

the spirit of deciding to bring people together i think that's really what i i just and i i just think look i believe in alone time i'm a sagittarius i love i'm the party hermit um so as much as i love being at the party i love being in my cave by myself but um i think it's important when we can come together we need to be together and and that laughter and that warmth and the music and of course the food it's no small thing and we deserve that so i hope

Maybe this inspires some people who are ambivalent about the, I hope some of y'all decide to do a cookout. Maybe it's you. Maybe it's you. And maybe it has to be smaller scale because you got to do it in your little studio apartment and you don't have a backyard. Like, look, but look, I can throw down on my George Foreman grill. Don't play with me. Don't play with me. I would love to see someone do a barbecue with the George Foreman. They could probably get a brand deal from that. You should do that, film it on TikTok, and then pitch it. Oh my God.

Well, we will leave it there for now, but don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with our recommendation. NetCredit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit when other lenders say no. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. If approved, applications are typically funded the next business day or sooner. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com slash partner.

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at events like the bec awards and the essence festival of culture and follow the journey of the 2024 mcdonald's change leaders on their instagram page we are golden we are back and before we end the show we always like to share something that's helping us keep our vibes right or throwing us off this week and saiyan it's just you and i today so you're gonna go first and i know you have something fun to share with me yeah i as a

survivor of North Texas. I am always proud of another former North Texan, Kelly Clarkson. I just think she's a delight.

And, woo, that woman can sing. She can sing. And she has a new album out now. I don't know how many... Because I think I knew that she was married, but it wasn't something like on the top of my mind. But I definitely knew when I found out she was getting divorced from her husband, who I believe, I think Kelly Clarkson has... He's her manager.

Yeah, and that's what I was about to say. That unfortunate distinction of like, it's happened to too many women. And of course, you know, we're still thinking and acknowledging the loss of Tina Turner. And of course, like part of the problem was that Ike Turner wasn't just her abuser and husband. He was also like her business partner kind of manager. And that just, I don't know. I hope with Kelly, it was not nearly, you know, as intense as that. But it just, it doesn't seem like a great arrangement. Anyway, her new album is called Kicks.

chemistry and it is it is y'all it is a bonafide divorce album oh buddy i mean the first track is called skip this part where she's basically can i just skip all the heartbreak i would really like to basically emotionally fast forward yeah and you're like oh so that gets to me one of my favorite songs right now um because it's one of the more it's a little bit more up tempo is down to you and and she just has a refrain in the song where she says something like

it must be cold in your veins. And she's just like, just like, how can you act? She's basically just like, how can you act like that? It must be cold in your veins. And so she's like, I can't dance with the devil on my back.

I just love it. I'm just like, come on, Kelly, with the bars. Kelly Clarkson. Come on, madam Kelly Clarkson. It's good. I'm just so happy that she was our first American Idol winner. She was the very first one. And she beat Justin Guarini. I just remember we had that curly hair. But she's incredible. So yeah, check it out. Let me know your favorite song.

Brandon, girl. Okay, what's your recommendation? People are texting us a lot of foolishness today. Names we don't want to see from the American Idol popping up. So my recommendation is the Sex and City spinoff and Just Like That, season two.

I will say the show most days makes me miss the original a lot because I think the original is better. And I still haven't decided, is it just my nostalgia that takes me back to the first version of it? Or is it better? I don't know yet. But all I do know is I've let go of wanting this new version to be something that it's not. I'm now leaning into what it is. And what it is, is Miranda...

having lots of sex with dildos with Che played by Sara Ramirez, which Sara Ramirez got tons of flack for last season. And you know, I've just let go and let God, some of these characters can be annoying, which means I'm just going to watch them every week and they're going to be annoying to me and it's going to be fine. But our dear friend, Samantha Irby is a writer and producer on the show. And I just, I'm just like leaning into the chaos of the show. The show is so chaotic on every level. It will probably be one of those shows that I watch on Tik TOK.

At some point, I'll talk about this in more detail. But I have this thing now where I'm watching entire shows and movies just out of order via TikTok clips. And I wouldn't be surprised. You do talk about watching just on TikTok a lot of things. Oh, it's a whole thing. I'm watching Vicious right now, a British sitcom starring Ian McKellen. It's really funny. But yeah, I can see you in Just Like That just kind of being out of context. Because yeah, I'm not...

I'm not going to be seated for every week for a just like that. And I will say, the show is interesting. It's just like, I just get stuck in this nostalgia loop with anything like that. That, the L word, queersfolk, et cetera, where I'm like...

I'm always comparing it backwards instead of looking forward. And the show, if you just let go of the original and just let yourself kind of swim in these new lives of new women you're meeting, because there's a lot of new characters, then it's great. Enjoy. Also, I mean, look, this writer's strike and these studios clearly just refusing to

compromise beggars can't be choosers you better enjoy whatever original program we have as long as we have it also with them deleting all the shows damn yeah not much is left well I will say if you are still looking at shows on max I will say last week I said swiping America was great

New episodes dropped. Still great. Getting better. More interesting. The queer guy, Chris, Krishna, shares some things this week where it makes me like him a little bit more. Oh, he's warming up for you? He's warming up. But, you know, I think maybe up until the finale, I'll share every week how it's going. The show is really something. It's really something. Okay. All right. So, listeners, what are you feeling or not feeling this week? What's your vibe? Check in with us at vibecheckatstitcher.com.

That's our show this week. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of Vibe Check. If you love the show and want to support us, please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform and tell a friend, tell another friend, tell all your friends. Huge thank you to our producer, Chantel Holder, engineers Sam Kiefer and Brendan Burns, and Marcus Holm for our theme music and sound design. Also, special thanks to our executive producers, Nora Ritchie at Stitcher and Brandon Sharp from Agenda Management and Productions.

And again, we want to hear from you. Don't forget, you can email us at vibecheckatstisher.com and keep in touch with us on Instagram at Zach Staff, at The Ferocity, and at Sam Sanders. You can use the hashtag vibecheckpod. Stay tuned for another episode next Wednesday featuring none other than Penn Badgley himself. Bye. Bye. Stitcher.

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