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This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are Black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging Black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.
I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people.
My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's change leaders on their Instagram page, We Are Golden.
Hey, ladies.
Hey, girl. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm Sam Sanders. I'm Saeed Jones. And I'm Zach Safford, and you are listening to Vibe Check. Vibe Check.
Oh, my loves, we've missed you. We've missed you. This week, we are going to answer some of your advice questions. Thank you for sending them in. Y'all got some good questions. As it turns out, we're all going through it together, friends. Okay, so we're going to hold hands and share knowledge. But before we get into that, let's do a summer check-in. We haven't done like a seasonal check-in. So Sam, Zach, and Zach, let's start with you. How's your summer going?
- It's going great because I'm outside and I finally enjoy being outside. It's been a struggle, you know, the pandemic we were inside and I was really loving that life of, you know, controlled social interactions, not just being thrown into the fire, but I've been back out in the streets. I've been going to like random dinners for people like GLAAD and meeting work colleagues who I don't like, but I will have dinner with. I've been going on more trips. I've been going to the movies. So it just feels like the pre 2020 life that I used to love so much and I'd forgotten.
and re-entering it has been hard but now i'm back to loving it again so yeah the summer of outside has been nice for me so far was there a moment where you were like oh this is a an interaction or a type of space or a type of moment i didn't even realize i missed you know what i mean there is there's a very clear moment and it was visiting a neighbor and i know that you now say you have a very close friend that lives next to you i famously always have a close friend living in my building it's like a
I love to do. And it was, I think in June, my dear friend Luke, who lived downstairs, invited me over for drinks with random straight people I didn't know because his friend wasn't bringing them over, who I did love. And typically, because of the pandemic, you got so used to being like, I don't know those people. I'm not being around them because, you know. You were like, strange, straight people I don't know? Absolutely not. Straight people not doing it. But I've been working on being present a lot. So I said yes.
And I had the best time. Spent the whole day. I drank on a Sunday, which I don't do. It was wonderful. And that began the summer for me. Where I was like, oh, this is a summer of being present and saying, not yes to everything, but like when you do something, just trying things new, going outside, meeting new people. Straight people are people too. They are. Apparently. Apparently. But yeah, so that's me. But Sam, how are you? It's kind of a continuation of the theme that you brought up. My summer has been just like a summer of community. I've been like,
with people again in a really real way that I wasn't, say, last summer. You know, going to see Beyonce in London with y'all and other friends. Having little gatherings in my backyard. Going to folks' houses for parties. Even, like, being back in Texas for about a week and a half for my mother's funeral this summer was an actual community experience for
Some of it's bittersweet, but this has been a summer filled of community building and community time with people I like. So I'm grateful for that. I've even found myself making like more phone calls to people like in my tribe. Just like, you know, what's up? And we're talking on the phone. It's very, I think it's happening because I need it, but I'm definitely like having more community time. So yes, definitely.
It's good. Yeah. I mean, I hear both of you and I feel similar. I guess, too, I would just add, you know, as a newly single person after, what, two or so years, I would add...
a self-awareness to being outside, to being in community, to saying, let me go hang out with them. Let me see what these straight people are up to. You know, in the sense of, you know, having these experiences where I'm on my own, I'm independent, and I'll be perfectly honest, I'm glad to be. I'm enjoying it. But just like kind of being aware of like, oh, okay, this is a little different. This is, okay, how do I feel? What do I want? You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Like, I think...
we take for granted how, and it's not just like relationship status. It could be job status or it could be, you know, where you live, your relationship to a place. Like as it changes, of course, it's going to change how those interactions kind of feed.
and what they can mean. So as a result, there's like a tenderness. I feel like a little bit much more in touch with like gratitude, for example, when I have these experiences because kind of like you were saying, Sam, it's a time when you're like, you need it. You need something from these moments.
- I'm interested in like how that shows up for you differently when you're out in the world now, if you're thinking about these things differently, gratitude, singleness, et cetera, like is Saeed walking through Columbus a little bit differently this summer and if so how? I'm interested. - Yes.
I mean, one, of course, it's like appreciation for your friends and, you know, like, my girls are here for me and the love is real. Also, that sense of, like, everybody's going through it. I think when you're, like, when you're in the process of, like, healing after a breakup, there's a lot...
that you're kind of trying to make sense of and you can get in your head and it's a reality check and frankly very comforting for other people to be like well girl let me tell you about my mess and you're like oh shit so I feel it's interestingly being out in the world alone has made me feel less alone if that makes sense and yeah
- Yeah, I do feel more confident. I do feel sexier. I do feel like I'm reintroducing myself to myself because I think I spent a lot of time in that relationship second guessing myself, to be honest. I spent a lot of time, am I doing this right? What's wrong with me? Should I be happier? He didn't seem to, you know what I mean? And so it's just, there's a lot less of that chatter in the background. So when I, where I am, where I am, what I feel, what I feel, it's a little bit easier for me to just feel that.
So what I hear you saying is you're strutting this summer. You're strutting. Yeah. Every day is not a runway. Yes. But there are a lot more runways now. We love. We love. We love. And you deserve. Yeah. We deserve. We deserve. Speaking of summer, before we end this segment, get to the next one. I want to let our listeners know that there's going to be a bonus episode of Vibe Check.
and podcast feeds. On Monday, I'll be talking with one of my favorite artists, Emily Kane, about her newest album, which has been the album of my summer. It's a heartbreak album, but it feels good. Emily Kane, I tell folks, she is like if India Arie and Sheryl Crow had a baby together.
That music, but even three times as good as what you would expect, that's her. So we're gonna talk about her latest album, what it means to me, what it means to her.
And how she made a breakup album that's also joyful. That's going to be on Monday. I'm so ready for her to hear it. I'm so excited about this conversation. Please, from me to you to her, thank Emily King for the song this year. Oh, that is the one. That is a breakup song for the ages. Yeah. Oh, totally. Totally. Thank her for that in particular.
Well, with that, and before we get into our advice for you girls, we just want to say again, thank you for all the love. Thank you for the mail. Thank you for the messages. Thank you for the shout outs on social media. We absolutely love it. And you can keep sending your emails or questions for advice to vibecheckatsister.com whenever. Even if we're not doing this, sometimes if you send a good question, we may just talk about it on the show, honestly. You know? Absolutely. And have. And have. All right.
all right with that i'll be ready to play armchair therapists let's do it absolutely
Let's jump in. We have a lot of advice questions from our listeners. We're going to take a few. I want to say before we start, none of us are licensed mental health professionals. Sure the fuck aren't. None of us have an advanced medical degree. And all of us are in our own special ways a hot mess. So as I like to say, when I give advice...
It's less advice and more of me just telling you what worked for me. I like that. That's fair. I was going to laugh and then I was like, wait, actually, that's quite wise. I love that for you because mine is like, I'm telling you to do the thing I didn't do. There you go. Probably regret not doing. So it's very much to those who can't teach. And listen, a lot of the advice I give are things that I wish I would have done myself. So I'm just like, can you do it for me? I was just going to be like, I'm a Sagittarius. So like, you know. Fair, fair.
Yeah, yeah. That said, listeners know that we love you, know that we love talking about your issues. So let's get into it. Here's the first advice question. It comes to us from Kel L. And they write, quote, I've been around the dating block. Normally, I end up going for someone I know through mutual friends and spent time with as just friends. Those have also spiraled in different ways, but always ended poorly.
Now I'm seeing someone I met through Hinge. We've been on a few dates and it seems to be going well. We're both queer and trans and we have very similar values and senses of humor. I still feel like I'm trying to balance playing things cool and a little distanced since it's still early with opening myself emotionally and romantically up to another person.
I do like them, but I don't want to seem too eager. I feel like a teenager learning to flirt and date. Send help? Okay, sisters, do we have any help to send? Thoughts?
This feels so sweet. It is. It made me smile. Yeah. I was smiling, right? The fact that you're like, I don't want to be too eager. Am I being too eager? Is kind of that nervousness that makes the beginning of a relationship have the butterflies and get you really excited and committed to wanting to do nice things for them, be really special, all that stuff. So,
My advice is like to be present and just enjoy, like listen to all those feelings that are hitting your body and don't be afraid to reach out. And I also tell myself a lot when I was dating, and this is probably how I ended up with Craig, was that, you know, if I want to be with someone that would let me reach out to them whenever I'm thinking of them, if that's important to me, then do that with this person. If they're not willing to do that for you, then like they may not be your person and then just move on and find that person. But if you're finding you want things in this dating period with someone and you're not sharing them,
you're not building a good foundation. So I would say, do what you want. Listen to your body. Yeah. Saeed? Yeah, I smiled while listening to you read this, Sam, both because I think we all identify with that stage, and also because you're shook. But I love that, and I went back, I even highlighted some sections. At no point are you, in this letter, shaming yourself.
Or being shamed, right? Like, it's just like you're aware that you have feelings. You're like, I'm shook. Just how am I doing? How am I feeling? And I think that's a good place to be. I think, kind of like I was saying before, like, change in our lives asks us to reintroduce ourselves to ourselves, to our feelings. And so there should be check-ins and everything. So I think this is good. And what a joy. Look, there's not a lot that I miss here.
about being a teenager, except for my metabolism. But the sense of discovery, of newness, the sense of butterflies without shame, that's something I think particularly as queer people, a lot of us didn't get to experience when we were teenagers. So what a joy, how beautiful that you're getting to feel that way. And I guess the one other thing I would say is
if you feel comfortable, kind of like Zach is saying, call the play. I think you can tell someone, I really like you. I'm trying not to be too much. If you say something and I might freeze up, I just want you to know I'm just trying to sort this out. Kind of being in dialogue, I think, is a nice way to still have your boundaries, but also not be like a cold mystery to the other person. Yeah.
I think a lot of times the easiest way to make peace with feelings that can seem overwhelming is to name them.
One thing that I always do when I'm doing a live event or a thing on stage or in front of a camera, if I'm nervous right at the start, I'll say, I'm really nervous. And then I'm less nervous. Yes. And so I think that like you are allowed to, especially with someone who you say is kind of like minded and share similar values and senses of humor. You're allowed to just say, I feel excellent.
X, Y, Z. Two things will happen when you do that. One, it'll lower that pressure valve for you. And two, you'll realize the other person probably feels the same way.
Right? Yeah. So I would say, think about ways that you can just very candidly offer up some I feel statements when you're with this person. I feel X, I feel Y. Just doing that, you'd be surprised at the wonders it works because they probably feel the same way too. And the second thing I would say, especially in the early phases of a new relationship, sometimes we feel like,
we're talking too much and showing ourselves to be too eager in that way. There are other ways to show your eagerness about the newness of a relationship.
If you think you're overwhelming things by like telling this person how intensely you feel, what if you put that energy into making them something? Making them a meal, making them a collage, doing an activity with them, getting them a nice gift, right? Like a lot of times I'll find myself looking at several ways to communicate the same feeling.
So I can tell you I feel this way and I love you so much, but I can also like get you a little trinket or a gift that I heard you mention that you liked. And that does the same thing without me feeling like I have to say I'm so eager every time I see you. But also it's okay to say I'm so eager every time you see them. I think that like none of this is out of the ordinary. And I think that everyone has butterflies at the start of these things. And that's the joy of it and the beauty of it.
don't stomp your butterflies. Can I say that? Like, don't stomp your butterflies. Let them fly. And probably not too many butterflies for this other person, but if it is, lesson learned. Yeah, I also think, you know, and acknowledging again, you're saying it's pretty early. So we don't know. For all we know, y'all might have just gone on like two good dates. You know what I mean? Or maybe you've been seeing each other for a few weeks. I think it's interesting, you know, we have this sense of, like a false sense of blueprints, I think, when it
comes to dating like oh don't do this you're not supposed to be you're not supposed and it's like well why i think what's most important as you're testing the possibility of a new relationship is do i feel like i'm myself with this person and how are they responding when i do open up you know what i mean so that that's significant right like like sam saying like if you say oh i'm a little jittery i'm a little nervous but i'm excited to see you tonight and
How do they handle that? That's a really valuable piece of information, right? Like if they're cold or sh- Pay attention to that. If they go, oh, I'm nervous too, you know, you're in rhythm. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. What's most important is are you and this other person in rhythm together? There's no one way to be in rhythm, but I think we know what it feels like when we are out of rhythm with another person. And maybe part of what you can do is say to this person some of the things you've said to us. One of the lines in your letter to us was,
I'm trying to balance playing things cool and a little distant since it's still early with opening myself emotionally and romantically. What if you just said that to the person? What if you just said, I'm feeling some kind of way about this newness. It's really exciting. But,
But I'm trying to balance playing things cool. Just say it and see what they say because they're probably in the same boat with you. Sounds very mature to me. Yeah. And you're going to tell them anyway. I mean, there's so many times I've had in my relationship where I'm like, you know, when we had that conversation two years ago, this is what I was actually thinking. This is what I was actually feeling. So just get out of the way. If they're going to be around, they're going to know one day. So go ahead and lay that foundation of sharing and being open.
It's really nice. Also, bake him a cake. Take that nervous, eager energy. Make him something sweet. Listen, I did that, and I now have to make that same cake every anniversary. What's the cake? Oh, my God. This is so silly. I can't believe I'm saying this. It's not even a cake. It's Rice Krispie Treats. I thought you'd be like, it's not cake. It was a metaphor for my ass, Sam. No. Yes. No. No, no, no. It's actually...
My, my, my, my, my. It's very long story short. Greg loves Sour Patch Kids. When the pandemic hit and we were just starting to get to know each other before the pandemic and it hit, it was his birthday. We were all in hiding. And I was like, what do you make with Sour Patch Kids? And the only thing I think of is Rice Krispie Treats and folding in Sour Patch Kids. So I made them in my little New York apartment and brought them to his apartment door.
Didn't you have those at his last birthday party that I was at? I did. And I make them all the time. That's sweet. So create moments with these people. Share so that you can keep sharing in the future if you like them. All right. That was a good one. I liked it. Time for a quick break. When we come back, more advice.
This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.
I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.
at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, WeAreGolden.
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All right, we are back and we have another question. And this one comes from Charlie N. Charlie writes, over the past few months, I've been struggling with how to thrive in this current hellscape that is America. You all talk about this pretty much every show. Capitalism is soul crushing. Politics are all over the place and usually sitting in a bad one. And finding joy has become a chore that I feel too tired to do. Have y'all been in this place before? Let's be honest. The answer is probably yes.
And how have you helped hold yourself accountable for the work that you can do in that headspace while also giving yourself grace to get through the hardest parts? Hmm. So this question is about like the world's falling apart. How do you keep yourself going through all of that mess? Sam? I think the easiest way to not feel powerless or to feel less powerless is
is to claim any bit of small power you can. And so my first response to this letter would be like, all right, if you think that capitalism is soul crushing, our politics are in a bad place, the world is on fire, in what ways can you grab some kind of control or power? And I would say probably just like volunteering with the causes that you think might change that. If you think your politics are bad,
How might you get involved in local politics, even if it's just going to city council meetings? If you think capitalism is soul crushing, how are you volunteering to help people who don't have enough? I think that like doing something that is service oriented is,
one, takes you out of that kind of like hell spiral of morning late capitalism and it makes you do something. And two, it gives you a like-minded community of other people who want to do something positive and being around those people can help lift your mood more. But I would say like, can you write down a list of all of the things you hate about the current state of the world and then find some ways that you could even in a little way help with those things?
and just do it. Some kind of volunteer work might help you feel better. That's my first answer. So get out in the world, be active. Get out in the world and do something. Yeah. I'm into that. Yeah. Saeed, you seem very deep in thought. Yeah, yeah. What's happening? For listeners, I think,
I have too many tells because now Zach and Sam can tell when I'm looking out the window in a certain way what I'm thinking. Well, one, something I learned recently is that people who were in their teens during World War I were in their 30s or 40s during World War II. Oh, my God. Can you imagine? I had never thought of that.
They really went through it. You're a teenager doing the, what would they call it? The war to end all wars. And then there's another word. And the next one is nuclear. Because it's just, just to me, that's just an example, right? Of just like, woof, you know, this sense of calamity, this sense of global sense of destabilization and nothing will ever be the same. We ain't special. This ain't new, you know? So that helps me because I guess,
It got me thinking about time. I really struggle with anxiety. And one of the things anxiety does to me, and I'm looking at the things you're talking about regarding American politics,
and all the things, all the violence connected to those, is anxiety speeds me up. It shoots me like a rocket too fast and forward into time and gives me this sense, I think because my mind's going so fast, that whatever the calamity is that I'm worried about is that this is permanent. It'll be this way forever. I'll always feel this way. There's no horizon. This is just it. Every day, every day, every day, every day, right? Well, we know that's not true.
And so I think I would say, slow down, you know, and I have to say this to myself so many times, slow down. And I try to break things into time periods, frankly. So seasons, grief,
heartbreak, the ecstasy of joy, the good stuff too, whatever. I think when I just start, when I feel myself being propelled a little too far and I'm losing perspective, I try to say, this is not forever. This is a season. This is a moment. I'm not trying to invalidate it, right? I'm not trying to say that what I'm worried about is not real or is not something to pay attention to. But instead, I'm trying to say, okay, what's the appropriate context? Because
Because I think if you think something's like...
forever and ever, then that to me feels defeatist and kind of hopeless. I don't know how to deal with an issue that I have that kind of perspective on. That just makes me want to crawl into bed. And that's not always helpful. But when I go, "This is a valid feeling, but this feeling is, you know, here for this moment," I think I can begin to strategize. Well, and I think you have to tell yourself, like, I'm allowed to feel all kinds of feelings.
I think a lot of times when the news is depressing, we think the only correct response to it is to be depressed all the time to honor the severity of the news. That's not how emotions are supposed to work. You're supposed to experience a lot of them and you're still allowed to have a full life that includes joy in spite of the calamity. Someone much smarter than me once said you cannot –
set yourself on fire to keep everybody else warm. You still got to do for you and take care of you in the same way they say on the planes. Put the mask on yourself before you help someone else with their oxygen mask. There's a certain need, especially when times seem extremely perilous,
to focus on self-preservation, which often includes finding joy in spite of. So I would remind myself if I were you that you get to experience all of the emotions and that experiencing all of them actually helps you be better prepared to change the world. You're better prepared to fight against the things you see that are bad if you're still finding joy for yourself, if that makes sense. Yeah. And I think...
I also, I think all of us probably battle anxiety and like we all like, I mean, my thing is nuclear war. Like I'm always like nukes says the one who just went to see Oppenheimer, which made me feel affirmed in many ways. Yeah. Yeah. People are terrible. These men are awful. We're all doomed. But anyway, you know, we feel the heaviness of it. And whenever I feel the heaviness of the world on me, you know,
There's a few things that I do where I say to myself, self, is today the day you need to even do this work? Can you take the day off? Can you do something else to bring you joy? So if you're having a hard time going to work or doing something, figure out a way to like, can I just like listen to my body and rest? But the other thing, because so many of us can't rest because you have to go to work, you have to get through the day, is an ex of mine told me, his mom used to say this to him all the time. She would say, sweetie, how do you eat a whale?
And he'd be like, "I don't know." And she'd go bite by bite. And I think about that all the time, that no matter how big something is, how laborious it is, it's really the same action. You just take it by step by step, bite by bite to get through anything. And once you kind of reduce it down to it's just putting one foot in front of the other and moving through something, it helps it become lighter in many ways. Because then you're not thinking about solving it all at once. It's really a process. Everything's a process. And you just got to give yourself to that process.
Yeah. At the end of the day. Also, the world is always ending. The world is always ending. It was ending for our parents and ending for their parents too. Right. And they still found time to dance. Yes. And I mean, look, I'm saying this as someone who wrote a book about this kind of stuff. But isn't it a privilege to be able to be distressed about the state of the world, however you want to define that? Yeah.
I just feel like, particularly as someone who comes from a working class family, that was the beginning of me understanding particularly the privilege that my education was taking me into. Yes, I was becoming more anxious and stressed out as I was beginning to have these perspectives, but it would just be so interesting to talk to
Family members are people who I grew up with who they're like, yeah, I get it. This is bad. But like, sorry, girl, I got to make rent today. Like, I don't have time. And, you know, and I don't I'm not saying that you should be ashamed or feel guilty again for your anxiety. That's not productive. I think what you're saying is to maybe practice gratitude. Yeah. Could you make a list of the things that are going well for you that you're appreciative of?
that might help yeah it's like we're we are fortunate enough to have the bandwidth i guess is what i'm trying to say the energy to even kind of stick our heads up and kind of look around a lot of people just have to keep their heads down so what do we do what will we do with this privilege and that is that's not a space of helplessness so yeah i mean you are you you are alive and if you woke up and you're even able to have these conversations or these thoughts that is something to celebrate so if you have nothing else to hold on to just have that that the
I'm breathing, I'm here, I'm conscious. And that is a gift that so many don't have right now. Yeah. All right. Well, with that, we're going to take another quick break, but don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with one last question. So stay tuned.
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This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.
I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture.
And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's change leaders on their Instagram page, We Are Golden. All right, my loves, we're back. And we have a question from Anonymous. This person writes, I want to talk about cannabis. I've heard you mention it on the show before. So I know you don't shy away from the topic. No, we don't shy away from the topic and we don't shy away from the cannabis. This person says, I'm a 40 something mom of two kids.
and I've been dabbling in using cannabis again now that I'm done having babies and live in a state where it is illegal. I used to be a huge pothead in my teens and early 20s, but so much has changed since then. I don't think I could tolerate smoking anymore, but my issue with edibles is that they can take too long to kick in, and I found the dosing to be unreliable. I only like a
teeny buzz, just like the way a beer or two would feel. So what are my choices? Should I try vaping? Beverages? What's a good choice for a faster high without getting stoned? I love this question so much. I do too. This is great. I've been exploring this as well. But Sy, please, you begin because I'm new to this. I'm like, this is me. I'm like, am I the 40-something with two kids living in a supper place?
To open it up, what I would say, and it's helpful actually to have a sense of this person's lifestyle and all that kind of context, because I would just say, as someone in my late 30s, something that I realized as weed started to become legal and more easily accessible in the places that I was living was that
a lot of us were traumatized by our experiences with weed growing up. Like, I'll be honest. Like, I'm one of those people that in my early 20s and stuff, when I tried weed, it was inconsistent because I was just getting it from somebody's older brother or somebody's ex-boyfriend or like the edibles would be too strong. And so I'd have like a piece of a brownie and spend the weekend laid out. It's not like that now.
If you go, like, if weed is legal in your state, which is in the case for this person, right? Like, these places are actually really lovely. The little stores. And they know what they're doing. And shops. Yeah. The people, what do they call it? Like, bud tenders, weed sommeliers. Like, these people, in my experience, I've been so delighted to find that it's a joy for them actually to have this kind of conversation. Yeah.
And all the questions you just asked us, like they are there and eager to help you navigate them. So like you saying, okay, look, I only want a teeny buzz. I got two kids. So look, I can't be out, you know, like all afternoon, like just too stoned. Do you have something that would be akin to a beer or two is absolutely a question they would be able to like respond and give you the right products for. What do you think, Sam? I was going to say the same thing. Like,
The exact letter you wrote to us, take it to a good dispensary in your town and you'll be off to the races. They'll be like, I've been waiting for this moment. They want it. They want to help. They're eager to spread the gospel of cannabis. So honestly, take this letter to them. The second thing I would say is that a lot of times, especially in a state where the sale of cannabis has been commercialized,
You can tell what kind of vibe this stuff is going to give you based on the packaging and the design of the thing. The vapes that are more colorful and look more like toys usually offer a lower dose of weed and usually offer weed in a kind of regulated puff that's not going to be too much, right? So it's even kind of color-coded. Like you can tell what's going to be what when you walk in the store based on what looks heavier and harder or not.
I also think what might be good for you as you dabble more would be just to do it with somebody else. I think what you might be wondering or feeling unsure about or feeling unreliable about is not actually knowing what you do once you're high or what your body is really doing. So if you have a little buddy,
And they'll both do it together. You both at the end of your three or four hours could be like, did that feel good to you? Did this feel good to me? What was I really like? Was I acting a fool? Let me know for real. I love that. It's like get a babysitter for the kids. And instead of like a little brunch, you have a little like a little bud brunch. Exactly. And it's like someone that you can like talk about your experience with.
Because doing that might help you figure out what you want in the next experience. But yeah, if you're having questions about how to do weed right, the first thing I would say is don't do it alone. Do it with somebody else. I love that. Having a weed buddy really helped me because when I moved to LA years ago now, I was like,
I was shocked at how legal it was here. It's everywhere. Prior to New York. It's literally everywhere. I remember going to a movie and people were like lighting up and I was worried. You go to concerts, smells like weed. Yeah, I was like, aren't y'all going to go to jail? And they're like, no girl, it's that legal. Like you can just smoke it right there. And so I began doing it socially with people.
And I learned really quickly, I don't like doing it socially that much. I'd rather do it by myself or with one person. But it's something you have to journey with. To steal from your partner, Sam, who talks about exploring these things as a journey. You find your own journey by experiencing lots of things. There's going to be days you're going to get too high. But what's going on? And there's days you're going to feel nothing. But those are all pieces of information you can take to build out your future perfect version.
version of this. And I would say the dose, it's like a little pin that I think they're called doses. Doses. Those have like one puff is like one little small dose. Perfect. If that's the beginning, just get one of those. I used to use it for sleeping. Just one puff, it lights up. It's really fun. And then you're good. You don't have to worry about lighting anything. Yeah. My one specific, I was going to be like, one, because I'm too lazy to actually roll. I just, I'm not.
rolling. I'm not doing papers, child, please. So I love a little weed pen. And also because, yeah, it's a controlled amount. And my weed pen, like you can change the setting. So if I wanted it stronger, if I wanted it so you can have that kind of control, it's kind of
the equivalent again like you know like you're underage in college and you would just take any kind of alcohol that was available to you you know just get it and then now you're an adult you're legal and so like you're like do i want rosé do i want vodka do i want a cocktail do i want a beer like everything sam was saying about like the labels and information it's absolutely true if you're in a place where weed is legal and you have those options which is why weed should be legal everywhere one of the many reasons and this is one-on-one you know this you were a pothead back in the day half
food and water nearby. Maybe some coffee if you needed to. You know these things, though. Yeah. Can't hurt. Well, I love it. Let us know how your journey goes. Do you have recommendations on the other side of this anonymous? I love it. But that's all for now. Friends, if you have any advice questions, you can always reach out to us at vibecheckatstitcher.com. As Zach mentioned, sometimes we're so shook.
or, you know, enlivened by one of your questions, we might just make it a part of a regular episode. VibeCheck at Stitcher.com. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of Vibe Check. If you love the show and want to support us, terrorize the people in your life. Bully them. If they loved you, they would love Vibe Check too. And I think it's time for you to demand that they demonstrate it by listening to Vibe Check on your favorite podcast listening platform. Love it.
Well, as always, huge thank you to our producers, Shanta Holder, engineer Sam Kiefer and Brendan Burns, and Marcus Hom for our theme music and sound design. Also, special thanks to our executive producers, Nora Ritchie at Stitcher and Brandon Sharp from Agenda Management and Productions.
And listeners, we say it all the time, but we want to hear from you. Do not forget, you can email us at vibecheckatstitcher.com. And you can keep in touch with us on Instagram and threads. We're still there. At Sam Sanders, at Zach Staff, and at The Ferocity. Use the hashtag vibecheckpod.
If you get at us on socials. And I would say threads. People are lovely on threads. And I get more messages about Vibe Check on threads than anywhere else. That could be because Twitter or X is dead. That said, we're out here. Come find us. We are indeed outside. If it isn't clear. Yes. All right. Stay tuned for our bonus episode with Emily Keene on Monday. It's going to be treat. I promise you. Until then, go smoke some weed. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
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