Ask Us Anything (Holiday Questions)
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Okay. Okay. And we're off. And we're off. Hello, Rami. Hello, Rami. I feel like Tess and I are just realizing that next week will be our last episode of the year. Before a little winter break. Crazy. We were just reminiscing about the past year with you, Rami. I know. We're like another year has gone by and like...

We're just so grateful for everyone. So grateful. I can't believe it. I can't believe we get to do this and like connect with you guys. I know. It's the best. We have truly so much fun doing it. I know. It's the coolest thing. And this with Dear Rammies is one of the ways that we get to connect with you guys too. It feels good doing it over the holidays because I feel like obviously tensions can be high. It's a time where a lot of people feel lonely and feel just a little out of sorts. Do you feel that way during the holidays? I do.

Okay, Where Are You Christmas? Sometimes that song just like really hits. That might sound so lame to say. No. But I think there's like so much pressure on the holidays sometimes. Yeah. It almost feels overwhelming if everything isn't perfect. Yeah. You know, what's the song?

That's like on New Year's Eve. That always plays. Auld Lang Syne or Auld Lang Syne. I don't know exactly how you say it, but that is one of my favorites. That one makes me want to sob. If you watch Sex and the City, if you know, you know. You know, it's like a perfectly beautiful melancholy song, but it's also celebratory. I love that song, Tess. I love it too. I love it too. I love your enthusiasm. It's so tender.

We'll put it on the end of the episode. Yes. Oh, I don't know if I can though. I can't even listen to it. Okay. Yeah, we're fine. Because we do have a great episode coming for you guys next week and it is with the holidays and the holidays are fun and great. Yes. It doesn't have to be always depressing, but sometimes I do feel sad. I know. But it's okay. We have each other. We have so much. We have a great Christmas episode from last year. We do. Our Christmas bonus episode. What a fun time. Bricksting classic. I could not name all the reindeers and I still can.

because I can't right now. Oh, no, I would have. But you can name all of Kris Jenner's grandchildren. Yes, I can. Or I thought I missed one. You did. It was Dream. Oh, yeah. So sorry, Dream. Sorry, Dream. You are all equal. Yeah. Well, not really, though, because they treat that side of the family different. Poorly. Yeah, that's true. But anyway, we're not here to discuss the Kardashians. No, we are here to discuss you guys. We asked for it. You guys answered on us asking you questions, word questions. And we're going to ask you questions.

So that's where I'm going with that. We love when you send in questions because we love to be your therapist. That's right. And we asked for if you wanted personal advice, relationship advice, would you rathers, questions about the podcast, anything. All of it. We got some great variety. Yeah. So we are going to go with our top eight. Perfect. We're going to start with question number one. Mm-hmm.

Claire, what's the best way to show your partner you care? What's the favorite thing that yours does to show that they care? Oh, wow. I guess this is kind of like love language. Yeah, this definitely is love language-y, which, lucky for my partner, all of the love languages are important to me. I feel that. Okay, how do I – do you have an answer? What's the best way to show your partner you care? Okay.

I mean, I'm a communication person. Yeah. I think just checking in about the little things, you know? Yes. And I think I might be wrong, but I think the person who sent this question in might be in a long distance relationship. And so I think in terms of that, like, it's just like it's not always about the big gestures. I think it's being like...

What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Yeah. And just to be like, well, I really want to know about how you feel and what you're doing. So yeah, communication. Communication and like sending little things out of the blue of like, I love you, thinking about you. Like all that stuff is so sweet. Yeah. I think like I've also realized there's so many ways to compliment people other than like what you might think sounds good. You know what I mean? Like instead of just being like,

Wow. Like proud of you at work. Like there's other ways to be like, I really admire that this way you talk to people on Zoom. You know, like always phrasing it to make it really specific. Like I think that's how I show... I think that's how I show my boyfriend that I care of just like... Your very words of affirmation. I think so. I think...

I like to show, well, I want to do all of it, but I think the way that I do it is acts of service a lot, like cooking. Even something as small as yesterday, I was like, oh my God, I smoked and ate so much Halloween candy at Tess's house. She was like, do you want any more? I said no. Then I was like, oh, but Corey would want some more heads and little things like that. Corey likes more heads? Loves. Tess, the other night at Friendsgiving, he stole 15 from the bowl.

Wait, did I tell him about when I gave Alice one and she said she felt like she had just done hard drugs? That's what it is for adults. It is hard drugs. She was like, this is crazy. Crazy. It's a crazy experience. I have one in my purse right now, but I did have one on Friendsgiving. It's a little scary for a second. Even thinking about it right now makes me pucker. Pucker up a little bit. They're great. What's your favorite flavor? Oh, I really like the raspberry. Oh, I love raspberry sour stuff. Same. Love. Love.

But yeah. Acts of service. Acts of service. And I think words of affirmation are more important than I even think. I know. For mine. Yeah, I think Kunal definitely does acts of service for me. Like he knows that I don't want to move my car like on a Tuesday with street cleaning and he just goes out and gets my keys and he does it. It's like...

Like he does a lot of things like that where I'm like, God damn. I can't imagine. Like, do you know what I mean? Like that's the same for me is that I have acts of service and I was like, I think I could be throwing a fit if I were doing this right now and you're being so nice and not saying anything. A hundred percent. It's like, and it's so thoughtful. So thoughtful. And it's like, you're truly doing something that isn't fun for your partner. Like that really does it for me. Same. I love that. So yeah, keep just like,

Getting down to it. Yeah. I agree. Keep exploring it. I agree. Yeah. Show love. Show love. Number two. Claire, what's your advice on getting through the holidays with family? Wrong answers only. Wrong answers only. So I'll give a wrong answer. Yeah. Tell them to shut the fuck up. I'm just kidding. I don't feel that way with my family. Yeah. I'm just saying wrong answers only. Wrong answers only. Start talking about politics. Yeah. Yeah.

Critique everything that they're doing. That's always a great way. Get too drunk and bring up something from childhood. Get too drunk. Yeah. Tears. Tears at the table. Give a really big life announcement while everyone's drunk. Yes. That's good. What's your right answers?

I think taking time for yourself, like people that go home and they'll have an extended period of time. Like, don't be afraid to set boundaries and be like, I'm going to go on a walk. And if someone's like, oh, come with you back. I'd really like to listen to a podcast. I'm just going to walk right now. Yeah. So like alone time, I think is really important. But like, because there's so many people to see and things to do, like make sure that you are actually taking care of yourself. Yeah. And let yourself enjoy the holiday. Yeah.

Let yourself have like a vacation even if you're not going anywhere. Couldn't agree more. Let yourself enjoy it. That's such a good one, Tess. What would you say? I think boundaries is great and I think also if you're with your family and there's someone that drives you crazy, just like try to accept it as much as you can. Like not take it on. Right. Like almost observe it as like an experiment. Observe it, not absorb it. Like take it on.

Totally. Like this is a caricature almost. And I can't like go there. Which like there are people that are just hard to do that with. There are. There really are. Like in this world. So if it's your family, it must be very difficult. Yeah. And also like, yeah, we'll leave it at that. Before we get too into it. Yeah. But there's always the wrong answers. Yes. So yeah, just get drunk and... Throw a fit. Throw a fit. And let us know how it goes. Yeah. Um...

Number three. Oh, this is a great question. How do I politely tell people to mind their business when giving me parenting advice? I can't imagine. I can't either. I can't imagine being a parent. Like it's so hard to raise something and then someone else telling me what, you know what I'm saying? Oh boy. I can't either. You know when someone gives you like dog advice, like at the dog park that you really shouldn't, I want to

Literally kill them. It's just like people thinking that they know your circumstance, which a lot of times I know it comes from a good place, but oh, it must be so irritating. I know.

I don't know. How do you tell someone? How do you respond when someone, you feel like someone's getting a little bit too, like crossing a line about something in your life? God, I am so bad at hiding my emotions. Which is true. You can tell when you're upset. But you can tell when I'm upset too. So it's really hard for me to do it. It's not like I'm not outward. I think I'm a silent rage. So when someone tries to like give me advice, I don't want it just like looking at them and not being warm. You go like...

You kind of like talk into your breath a little bit. You're like, well, that's actually not really how it is, but okay. And then you just kind of look away and you like go on your phone. So I can't imagine like, I mean, I think that the mature response might be just again be like, well, I mean, you could have a boundary to be like, please, if it's happening so often to you.

Like, I don't know what the circumstance is, if it's just strangers. Right. Because then it's kind of like, okay, all right. You just like nod your head and smile and grit your teeth. I know. But if it's like a family member. Okay. Can you imagine? Well, let's say it's for a family member because a stranger, you probably don't care as much. You can just be like, fuck off. I'm good. I got this. But if a family member is doing it, I think you could say like...

I'm going to let myself and blank, whoever their partner is, decide on that. But I know. No, because you don't want to be like, but appreciate the advice because you don't have to make it nice. I think you can like. It's so hard. It's so hard. Because like it could be family members, like even an aunt that you don't see all the time. I know. They check up on you. And so it's like it does feel uncomfortable to be like Flo. Yeah.

Yeah. Stop giving me advice. You know what I'm saying? What if you're just like really honest about it and you're like, it feels really overwhelming when so many people at once are telling me like different things. And I think like the noise doesn't help. Yeah. Like you just, you express really how it like hurt, kind of hurts your feelings. Or you can be like, if someone is like, you really shouldn't say that in front of your kids, you can be like, actually, it doesn't matter to us. Yeah. I think you don't have to be polite about it. And I know it's hard with family, but I think...

I can't imagine. And I can't imagine either. It'd be tough. Well, let us know. And go parents. Yes. Go parents and let us know how that's going for you. Yes. Okay. Number four. How to navigate long distance romantic relationships help. I mean, Tess, I feel like you should. I've never really been in a long distance relationship, but Tess has. Yes. I've done...

I did long distance with my boyfriend now for a year and we were in different states. So that was the most like intensive long distance I've ever done. It was different time zones too. It was. Yeah. Two hours. Yeah. And that makes a difference. Yeah. And then I did long distance like once from SoCal to NorCal for I think six months. Yeah. So...

What would I say? Well, I would say that Kunal was very great at long distance and he was like the champion in our relationship for it. He like put in a lot of effort. Like definitely he was the one to like push me and to who kind of taught me actually how to be better at it. And it was really hard for me at the beginning. Like I think I resisted it. And then once I was like, okay, this is how it is. And we have a year and like that's how it's going to go. I think always having...

a point of when when you're going to see each other never leaving one visit and being like we'll plan it I think already have it planned have a set date every time that you know that you're going to see them yes so like there's something to look forward to you're not anxious about like their commitment to it like you kind of just plan it out I feel like that probably makes it feel more real too that it's not like we see each other when we see each other exactly yeah it makes you like work towards it more totally know that you're going to see each other at

this time. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd say that that is probably number one. And number two, I think something else that like I learned is like I'm not a big phone talker and I'm not a big FaceTimer, but my boyfriend is.

And it is important to not just like, I know sometimes you're tired and like you don't want to get on the phone and you're like texting is easier and Snapchat and like all these other things. But I think, yeah, if I were to go back, I'd be like more FaceTimes, more FaceTimes and like do things together on FaceTime. Like put on a movie, like drink, like open a bottle of wine together. That's so cute. Go on a walk and show like where you are. You know what I mean? Like things like that. I love that. That you're going on dates together. I think, yeah. So for this person, yeah.

Don't be afraid to have fun with it. And don't be afraid to like be too like too much. Like, oh, they're calling like really put in the effort because you have to like you're not getting so many of the things you normally would be getting. So you have to like overdo. Totally. The other love languages in a way. Totally. It's like even out. Yeah. Yeah. And just go for it. Make someone feel really special. Oh, I love that. Get spicy. Mm.

Yeah, you could. You could. You could. I'd say download Snapchat. Yeah, exactly. And send some nudes. I'm going to say it. Why not? Keep it spicy. This is the time that all of us will look back and be like, I wish. Our bodies damned to be this age and have a body like this. Damn, you don't have to have your face in it. No, like just show your body. Yeah, show the bod.

And save them for later. Yeah, exactly. That's what a woman at a park once told me when I turned 30. I was like, what's your one advice? And she was like, save every nude you've ever sent and just look at it like when you're 50. And I was like, oh, so I've always thought about that. I love that advice. Honestly, that's iconic advice. Same. Yeah. So yeah, I love that. And good luck. And good luck.

Claire, I'll let you take the reins on this one because I feel like you'll have a good answer for this. Oh, God. Number five, how to not compare yourself to all your friends, peers in your 20s. Oh, my God. You know what I feel like I'm realizing more and more is that people are going to tell you how to do it and literally you don't know how to do it until you learn how to do it. It's truly just like trial and error over and over again and getting – I think the only way you can do that is just trying to get to know yourself more. Mm-hmm.

And, like, having time to, like, journal and just starting, I don't know, accepting, like, and liking little parts of you that you don't think are a big deal. Yeah. And be like, oh, I have really cool taste in movies and I should like that about myself. That's such a good point of, like, really tuning in on those, like, specifics about yourself and, like...

Not everyone has that. Yeah, exactly. And like being okay with that again, like we get told like you shouldn't think highly of yourself. We really do. Like people think that it's weird if you were to be like, oh, I look great or something like that. Totally. But I think the more that you get to know yourself and accept yourself and it's so it sounds so cliche because you really only can do that by just practice. Yeah. And it is and it is a cliche, but it's because that's true. Yeah. It's like positive self-talk.

I think is effective. You know, like when people are like, oh, like it's not gonna make a difference if every morning I look up and like say an affirmation to myself in the mirror. But like, I think your brain is, you need to trick yourself sometimes. Yes. Fake it till you make it. Like we have so much oversaturation and comparison and things that like we're told that we should be. And like all of that is just fake. And like what is real is what is who you are and what's in your surroundings. Yeah. So just like learn to enjoy that and explore that more.

Yeah, it's so hard. What would you say in terms of like career? Because I think in my 20s, career thing was like my biggest point of insecurity, especially in L.A. of being like,

There just seemed to always be people that were like, oh, you were just on a movie set? Cool. You were this while I was this. And you're like, will I ever make it to the top? But like what the top is such a stupid like. It's so real. It's not, you know, that's fake. All of that. It's so fake. I just have had this conversation. I thought it was like a really hard conversation for me to have like with Corey about like

your identity and your life and like what your career is. And like, I was, didn't even realize how wrapped up I was. And like, so you don't think that you're at a place where you should be. And so you're like, then everything around me is a failure. And it's like, but what if I thought that that was fun instead of like,

I don't know. Totally. I think I lost it being fun. Like what you like creativity and all of that stuff because I was so worried about getting to this place and like what other people thought and where other people were. Yeah. That's a good point. But also like I even cringe like talking like this because it's like such a thing every day that I think we're all just trying to figure out still. Yeah. No, I know. Like I think there's no this is like a hard question because I'm like, damn, like it's just so real for me.

In your 30s, I'm sure it's real. In your 40s, your 50s, I think it's like, as women, it's really hard not to compare, especially like on social media. I think that doesn't make it any better with everything. With everything. With like appearance and all of that. Like it's a hard time to be in your 20s, especially with like, with social media. Yeah. I truly think so. I agree. Everything is a comparison. Like a fake life that you can put into the world. Yeah.

Just remember that if let's say you're looking at someone that's like living like their best life and they're all just imagine them waking up and crying and they're not going to post that. That's what I always think. I'm like, this person could have had also like to be on your phone and to be editing that much and to be putting filters on things and coming up.

You might not be the happiest person. So even if your life doesn't look a certain way, you get something else in return. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. Totally. You get like the better version of yourself. Just like enjoy. I just, we don't, nothing's guaranteed. That's it. That is true. So just like enjoy it. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the ride. And enjoy being in your 20s. Yes, exactly. You know? Yeah, just fucking enjoy that. Nothing matters. Nothing matters yet. Go for it. Truly. Truly. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. We're going to move on to number six. What's your last death row meal? Oh, God. This question. So hard. It's really hard. Right now, what's coming to mind is like a fat cheeseburger and french fries. Yum. I love a cheeseburger. You really do. But then also pasta. But then also Mexican food. Oh, I was making my tummy growl. I know. Like, oh, that's hard. I think I'll go with cheeseburgers and fries.

I would go with like a spaghetti, like a bolognese. Bolognese? What can I say that right? Bolognese. Bolognese. I would go with that. Of like some basil on top, shredded cheese, like a meat sauce with some bread, with a baguette on the side. And you're just dipping with like a glass of...

Class of red wine, I think. I'm like, what? I definitely have to have a drink, but like what drink? That's like, I know. Cause then I was like white wine, martini. Well, that's what I'm like. I, I think a martini. I want a martini. And since I'm having a burger with like a beer, like a really crisp Pilsner for me. You do love a Pilsner. I do. I do. God.

But then we were doing appetizer. I'm like, I think I want oysters. Oh, oysters. Have to. With some really good sauces. Have to. I mean, it is our last meal. And we can go for it. And then I would have to have like some really great dessert. Oh, yeah. What would you choose?

I think like some kind of really, really good. This is going to be unpopular, but cake. I love cake. Yeah. I love cake. I love that you love it. Love a carrot cake. Love it. I would do a whole pint of like salt and straw ice cream. That is also so good. With like a caramel with some like brownies in it, like crumpled up. Yeah.

I'm thinking about this video that I saw of someone making fun of a Cold Stone worker too. Remember Cold Stone? We should do a whole episode on Cold Stone if you guys liked Blockbuster. Yeah, exactly. All the franchises. Remember how they had to sing every time you tipped them? Yes. Do I do that to your employees? I remember being a shit little teenager and getting a penny. Just staring at you little bully.

I did it though. I can see it. Sing for me. Like Ursula. Like I am Ursula. At Cold Stone, I am Ursula. Oh, that's good. But I have egg grass. Oh, please, please write in and let us know what yours is. Let us know. Okay. Second to last question. Would you rather live in one place for a year?

Whole year. Sorry, I got distracted. I thought someone sent one final question. Oh, damn it. We put another little video just in case you guys. Just in case. But don't worry about it. Would you rather live in one place your whole life or have to relocate every single year? A whole life. Same.

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I mean, I think I'm either I'm only going to live in two cities my whole life. Really? I think I think which ones are. Yeah. Well, in two states, Arkansas. Oh, that L.A. is a city. But live in Arkansas and then L.A. Yeah. Like I see myself. I don't know. Who knows where life will take me. Have you and Corey ever moved out of L.A.? Like what if you had to in six months? Where would you guys choose to go?

Well, if it wasn't like close, like I was just in Santa Barbara and I loved it, but I wouldn't choose it. I think I would choose like Nashville. Oh, I love Tennessee. Yeah. And I would like to be like with more space. And yeah. And you guys would be close to Hannah and Jordi. Because Hannah and Jordi because Allie or Rami. Oh, we miss you guys. Because closer to my family. That is for sure. Yeah. That's a good answer. What about you? Where would you what about you?

God, it's so hard to think about. Moving is just such a bitch. It really is. I am just a California gal my whole life. I know. But I think, I mean, there's a part of me that's like, if we had, I'd be like, let's go to, let's do New York for like a year or two. I can see it. But it would just be really hard for me to be that far, like on opposite coast from my mom and my brother. I feel like they would visit all the time. That's true. I'd be like, guys, come with us. Yeah. Such co-defendancy. But it would be, it'd make me like heartbroken. Yeah.

It's like a long flight. I could see them visiting all the time. That is true. But it is hard, like, living across the country. I mean, we have friends that are from different continents. I know. I can't imagine. That would be so hard. I know. But, yeah, probably New York. I'd want to give it a try. Or, I mean, I really like Austin. I do, too. Yeah.

But it is hard because it's in Texas. You know, Tennessee is not great either. Yeah. Then you're just we're not talking about the state. We're talking about the right. True. That's given to the rights given. I'd be like, well, that's what we mean. Cool. But yeah, I'll say New York.

So would you rather live in one city the rest of your life? Oh, yeah. Just one. I can't. I'm bad with change. It's exhausting. I don't really have that need for it. And I've never had to be like, I want to live everywhere. You can't develop like a friendship group. Yeah. It'd be hard. I do regret. Like my one regret in my life is not going to school somewhere like completely different because I went to school an hour away from where I grew up.

And so I would say that, but then I'm like, but I have like my best friends from college and there was obviously like, it's, so it's not a real regret, but I think going back, I would have pushed myself. It's like, I wish I would have lived in more places, you know, but, but hey, but you can always travel. That's yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is true. So yeah. And the final question, name your top three creative influences at the moment. Oh boy. Okay.

If you get one before me, feel free to jump right in. Top three. I'm like, I really should have more. I really got to cool it on the Bravo. I know. It's really hard not to watch Housewives though. I will say that movie that I put in the newsletter, Cha-Cha Real Slow on Apple TV, it's

Made me start writing a script. I love that. Which I was like, thank God. Because I really was like, why is nothing clicking? And I'm just writing the same stuff I normally do and I'm not pushing myself. And this is in the similar realm. But it really inspired me. That's what I'm saying. I've got to watch more narrative stuff again. I know. But it's hard. It is hard. It is. Housewives is so comforting. And I know that there will be people who understand. There will. So that movie has been an influence on you. Clearly. Yeah. Yeah.

One of mine is the 1975, the band. I just, I think I've loved them for so long and I've always been so inspired by their music videos. And like the lead singer is so, I mean, our friend Spencer said he's like, he seems like he's the nicest, most pretentious person ever. Like he's wild. But I just love his creativity. And he did an interview the other day just talking about like trusting your first instinct and just saying like,

an artist that you respect being like if you thought of it and like you know you again this is about learning to like yourself more and like getting to know yourself it's like go for it because like sometimes I just like overanalyze it yeah and so it's so nice to hear an artist be like just trust your instincts and go and it's probably good do you want to like write a whole movie to their music like when you listen that would be crazy like when you listen to their album are you like this would be a good scene

When I listen to your album, I want to make music videos more than movies for them. I mean, they just have such great music videos. They really do. But, oh, that would be so interesting. Honestly, Noah's album makes me want to write a movie and put, check out Noah Kahn's Checkout Stick Season. That's probably, honestly, that album makes me feel creative right now, too. Same. Pinterest is always a creative influence for me.

Love Pinterest. I think we're some of the only people that still use Pinterest. I go on it like every day. I do too. I love it. I get emails of like board ideas. Same. And like looking at images like helps spark my creativity. Yes.

Yeah. I feel like we're always inspired by Miss Grass's branding. Because I think about branding a lot as we do graphic design. And we design, obviously, the merch for Ram. That I'm always like, ooh, what companies? Do I like what they're doing? And I love Miss Grass's whole feel. I do, too. And their rebrand. Have you seen this company called Vacation? Yes.

It's like a coconut spray. All of their branding is so cool right now. Their branding is good. Osea's branding is really good. The artist, Sia? Osea. It's like the... You're like, uh-huh. Osea. O-S-S-E-A. Yes. I can't think of their branding right now. I have their hydration serum. It's so good. We find creativity everywhere. Yeah, we just find it everywhere, you guys. We really do. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, TikTok sometimes. I mean, Tess has been so, Tess is so good at TikTok. I really like TikTok and I thought I'd never say this. I love that you love it. I love it. You inspire me creatively. Well, you just like are so like, just make it. And you come up with really good ideas sometimes. Thank you. With like the way that the sounds, with the text that you choose. Thank you, baby. Like so funny. I appreciate that. We're having a love fest. We always do. We always are. We do. Biggest fans of each other. Truly. Truly.

Anything else? Any other creative? We asked for three. Yeah, I feel like that's too many. Yeah, I think that's really about it. I should have more. I know. Thank you for writing this because now it makes me think like a god. I'll work on it. I'm going to start a show. Yes. Yes. Let's all be creative, guys. We have one more episode until we go on break. So this is the time, you know, to...

Lean in. Lean in. Get a pen and paper out and just start. Just start. Or do whatever it is that makes you feel creative. We'll try. Yeah. But in the meantime, what do we need to talk about? Join our Patreon if you are missing us over the holidays. Again, we have one more episode, but we have...

it's nine episodes on Patreon available to you right now. So check those out. You could use, you could do like two a week. Yes. And then it will make up for the lost time. It's a great holiday gift too. If you want to buy a Patreon subscription for one of your friends. Yes. Little gift. It's $7.99 a month. Yeah. And it all goes back into us being able to build the pod and to record and to promote. Exactly. And we have some really exciting things coming out for 2023 that we can't wait to share with you guys. Guests are going to be insane. I

It's going to be in chain. It's going to be in chain. But yeah, share with your friends. Please do. And a happy holiday to all of you. Thank you for another amazing year, guys. You guys are the best. And we'll see you once and for all next Monday. Goodbye.